Transcript of #325 Sean Strickland - The Most Controversial Fighter in the UFC Opens Up Like Never Before

You ready to party? Let's go. I feel like I have a— if a hitman and a pimp were to have a podcast, this is the kind of room we're in. We got the purple, the murder icons everywhere. It's great, dude.

Lots of booze.

Lots of booze. I'm telling you about pimp and a hitman.

I don't even drink.

Yeah, I know, but it's dope, man. I got the tour, dude. Oh, this guy got— this guy murdered him. This guy killed him. I'm like, oh yeah, dude, it's real fucking cool in here. I feel right at home.

There's Eddie Gallagher's burner charges up there.

Oh yeah, it is real nice, dude.

But, uh, this guy over here took the world's longest sniper shot, or was on the team.

Oh man, you got to get one of Tim Kennedy's grenades in here.

Well, nobody could find him.

But I actually, I fuck with Tim Kennedy. But yeah, no, this place is dope, man. Yeah, you've been out here fucking crushing it, doing all the right things. You just had Candace Owens on, bro. That's crazy.

That went nuts.

Yeah, that's a crazy bitch right there, dude.

She's awesome.

She's awesome, bro. I mean that. I mean Oh dude, you look at her eyes, like, man, that's a crazy ass bitch.

That's one person you don't want coming after you.

Oh yeah, no, for sure, dude.

But yeah, man, I've been pumped about this.

Yeah, no, I mean, you're out here crushing it, dude. I'm just out here getting hit in the fucking head, getting distracted by the murder icons. It's war, it's not murder, all right? Fucking all goddamn heroes.

Yeah, there's a lot of— dude, there's just a lot of history in here, man.

Yeah, no, this room is dope, man. This room, guys, if you ever, you know, if you ever go do something fucking Sean Ryan worthy, you got to come check out the room.

Your stuff's going to be hanging in here too.

Yeah, that's dope, dude.

But, uh, but, um, yeah, let me, uh, give you an introduction here. Not that you actually need one, but Sean Strickland, you're the current UFC middleweight champion and one of the most outspoken and polarizing fighters in mixed martial arts. Since making your UFC debut in 2014, you've built a reputation for your relentless fighting style, elite boxing, and willingness to take on anyone. Outside the octagon, you've been open about your difficult upbringing, overcoming childhood abuse, and how fighting gave you purpose and direction. Whether people agree with you or not, you've built a reputation for speaking your mind, challenging the status quo, and refusing to filter your opinions. Welcome to the show. And I gotta say, man, out of, uh, you know, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but the thing I love the most about you is You're unfiltered. And I don't remember the exact quote, but you said something about you could be making a lot more money if you would just shut your mouth. And I'm in that same boat. And one thing I've noticed is a lot of people, when the money starts coming, the mouth starts—

Well, you fucked up because you talked about the one group of people you can't talk about. Like me, I talk about everybody. I'm like the trannies, the homos, the gays. So it's like, I'm already out of it, bro. I think you, you talked about the one group of people you can't talk about, which you kind of fucked yourself. But I mean, it's nice, bro. It's nice not to be like— it's nice not to be bound by anything, right?

But what are you building? I mean, if you— I mean, I get like— I, I get it. Some people, you know, they're building a legacy, and that's a financial legacy for their kids, or, or maybe not even for the kids, just for themselves. But if it is for your kids, I mean, if you're filtered, you're just— you're teaching your kids too much money.

Do you fucking need— exactly. Like, I always talk to people like, um especially like, I'll know like streamers, like my boy Aiden, right? Like he'll go and do these like these streams. I'm there with him. I'm like just watching this. I'm like, bro, like do you ever go home and just fucking hate yourself? Like do you ever go home and just look in the mirror and be like, this was my day today? He's like, yeah, all the time. And I'm like, bro, like, like, bro, like how much more money do you need? Like you have to be like 50, 100 plus million. Like how much more fucking money do you need right now? Like, just stop. You don't, you don't got to be a fucking dildo your whole life.

You just stop. He built himself into a character.

Yeah, you build yourself into a character and you just can't fucking stop. Like, you're so afraid of like, I don't know if it's like I don't want to be famous anymore, but it's like you're just so afraid of like losing that. It's weird to me, man. It's weird to me. But even, even with streaming, I would make probably a significantly more money than I do fighting streaming. But like going on chat and like, hey chat, like who do you want me to be today, chat? Like here, come look at my life. It just, it's so fucking soul-sucking that I almost feel bad for these guys. Like, yeah, dude, you have a fucking Bugatti, but like your substance as a man is gone.

Yeah.

And then you see some fighters who I like used to look up to watch do, and you're like, oh man, like it's real fucking bad, dude.

It's sad. You know, I saw it like when I first started this. I just, I never want— I saw it, you know, in the, just in this, in the veteran community. And we all know who, you know, there's—

I'm sure, I'm sure we—

but, uh, you know, it's just, it's like, it's sad because they're living in a fucking cage. So I don't mind them.

So I get like kind of torn between like that because like, so I never— I always— no offense to SEALs, I always thought SEALs were fucking dildos until I met real SEALs, right? Because like the only SEALs I met were like the influencers one. And Mitch, I love my boy Mitch, the guy that I challenged to see when he came there, Jimmy beat him up. And so I was always like, to me, like I always thought SEALs were like, like influencers. And then you go meet like actual SEALs.

Yeah.

And like you're like, oh dude, I just thought you were a normal fucking guy. Like there's this guy in Vegas that you're shooting with. Normal fucking guy. You go look at his Instagram, which is him, his wife, and his kids. Like, normal guy, dude. And you're just— so you kind of get— you get— you get shown the, the very small minority of SEALs that act like dildos, but like the vast majority of them, bro, they're like— I mean, they're like you, you know. But, uh, yeah, I know.

Fucking hey, dude, it's a great saying: the loudest motherfucker in the room is always the biggest shitbag. Yeah, I've heard that one.

I gotta shut the fuck up. I'll tell you a funny story, dude. So my buddy owns a gun store and it's a SEAL Team guy or Delta guy, I don't know. I'm sure you could just Google and pop up. He owns a gun store and I'm just like walking around like, you know, hey, what's up? And I go in the back office and he's having like a meeting. There's this guy in a suit, like goatee, and this guy fucking looks at me, right? And I don't know if it's like just like fucked up, recognize it's fucked up, but he looked at me in a way that like Like, you want to kill me? He didn't say anything. He just looked at me in a way that made my, like, little fucking lizard brain just fire. That, like, there's something wrong with that fucking guy. So me being a dickhead, the moment I feel that, I start like, I want to see. Like, I want to fucking see. So I start like poking you and pressing buttons. And my— so I'm like, hey dude, like, dude, you're looking at me weird, man. You're some kind of fucking hitman.

Like, what the fuck? What kind of PTSD do you got? He just kind of laughed.

That's a hell of an approach.

And he just kind of like laughs. I didn't know he's a veteran. He just laughs and smirks and like, it made me even double down because he didn't even say anything. I'm like, all right, well, have a good one, dog. And my buddy calls me that, that owned the gun store. He's like, dude, the guy you were talking to, he just got let go of like a, like a fucking Middle Eastern prison. Like he's ex-Special Forces. And he like, he got arrested on like a coup, like he was trying to assassinate a public figure. He's like, you're just sitting there talking shit, calling him a hitman. I'm like, oh yeah. Thank God we're in America. But yeah, I know, but like, you know, there's a different class of like SEALs and operators that you don't even know. Like, I, the most respect I got for these guys was I did this charity thing. It was like a Green Beret, you go and like, you know, you just go shoot, you know, I shot a lot of Green Berets. Maybe you guys have practiced a little bit more. It was a competition, but they invited me to go and I was like, man, I don't like I don't really have much connection to the military, you know, like, I like the military, respect them, but I don't really know much about, like, I don't have a connection.

I don't have family in the military, like, but I'll go. Getting to know these guys, man, like, life-changing, life-changing. Like, you meet these guys and they're just going away. They leave their family for, like, you know, months at a time in some fucked up part of the world, and they don't do it, like, they'll never be famous, they'll never really be rich. And they're just doing it because they're just doing it because they fucking— they love the respect of their, like, their brothers. Meeting these guys though, you're like, man, you guys are real men. Like, you guys are like the last men on this planet. Yeah, you, you're quiet, you shut the fuck up, you, you go and you pursue this ridiculously hard path that nobody could do. You don't do it for likes, you don't do it for fame. Like, you just do it for the respect of your peers. Like, to me, like, the Green Berets, the operators, they're one of the last men and like bastions of masculinity on this planet.

I don't disagree with you. Masculinity is just disappearing.

You know, it was, it was a trip to me because I can't— I couldn't like fathom that. Like, I was talking to a, like, a guy that wanted to go Delta, and he was telling me some of the things he had to do and like, like the, the selection process. And I was like, man, I just couldn't fathom doing that and breaking your body and all this shit, and you'll make— I don't know how much Delta guys make. What does a fucking Delta guy make?

I don't know. It's been a long time since I've been—

really? Just say $200,000, $300,000?

Like, I would not even say that. I would say— I mean, when I was in as a low, a low-level enlisted SEAL, it was $65 grand maybe.

That's what I'm saying, dude. And like, and these guys, like, they're pursuing this, like, this, uh anonymity. Like, they would never be famous, they'll never be known. It's like they're gonna go be in fucked up parts of the world doing fucked up things, and like, you're just gonna die. Like, me as like a white trash kid that wanted to be a fighter, I just couldn't imagine dedicating your life to something and getting really no payoff besides like the respect and dignity of like your peer group and like your, your own image. So like, you meet these guys, like, man, that's just— I can't even fucking wrap my head around that kind of like sacrifice. And you're—

well, it's not even, uh, I mean, it's— I agree with you, but you know, nobody goes into it— well, I don't know about now, you know what I mean, with all the social platforms and shit, but nobody goes into it for that, you know what I mean? If they go into it because you're drawn to— you're, I mean, not unlike yourself, you're drawn to this, to this, you're drawn to the sport of it.

How old were you when you enlisted?

I was 17.

And now you went straight SEALs, or were you like—

Yeah, I went straight to SEALs. I was in BUD/S by 18, and then I was at a team by 20, 20 years old.

I know there's like different degrees of SEAL team, right? Like SEAL Team 6 is like the, like the, the top dog at the top.

You're the tier 1 element. Yeah.

Were you tier 1, or— No. How hard is it to get tier 1? Like, what do you—

I mean, It's fucking tough, man. He talked to a lot of these guys. I mean, a lot of my friends went Tier 1, and, you know, they say it was just as tough as going through BUD/S, tougher than going through BUD/S, but different, you know. And different as in, I don't know, I think you really— I mean, I can't— I didn't do it, so— but you can't, you can't, uh, you want it so fucking bad, you know what I mean? And it's, it's I mean, look, it's probably similar to being in the ring. If you lose, it can be humiliating, you know, in front of all those people.

You have to go back and tell— look at your wife in the eye and be like, yeah, I fucking— I quit.

Yep. And if you try out for a tier 1 unit and you don't make it, all your buddies that you're there with, that you've served with in prior units, they all see it, you know what I mean? And it can be humiliating.

Yeah.

And then you go home and then you try again, you know what I mean? And sometimes, a lot of times, guys will make it the second time around.

But I feel like the hardest thing would be the marches. Like, I was talking to one of the guys that want to be Delta, and you're telling me like the length of marches they have to do, and I'm like, fuck, dude, you want me to go like— lock me in a cold— want me to go sit in the ocean for fucking 24 hours? I could do that. You want to go carry a boat? I could do that.

But the moment you said, hey, go walk for 100 miles with a fucking 50, 70-pound pack on your back, like The hardest, the hardest thing about being in those units, dude, is, is earning your right to be there every single fucking day. Every single day. Like, you're being judged. You— it's a competition, and they'll kick you out, you know, if you don't measure up. And so you'll literally have nightmares of fucking it up in the kill house, or losing a weapon, or, or you'll have nightmares of not rising to the occasion when it counts, you know what I mean? When it counts to take the shot. And then you wake up and you're like, shit, did that happen?

Out of all the— no, I'm gonna say the same thing with fighting. You wake up, you're like, oh shit. Like, I had a dream where I woke up and I was like, oh shit, I guess I'm the middleweight champ right now. It's weird. But like, you know, same thing with fighting, bro. You're always like— you're always pressure. It's pressure. What's the hardest thing about training when you're going through? Like, the thing you're like, I hate this the most. Like, I fucking— this is the most miserable fucking thing to me.

I mean, for me it was probably being in the ocean, being— I don't know, it's a lot. It's, it's the— I got to the point where when the hype— I would like stop, I could mentally stop myself from shivering so that I could get the hypothermia to kick in quicker. And because once that kicks in, your mind kind of goes numb. You know what I mean? And so did you— don't really give a shit anymore. You're like, oh good, it's here, it's, it's here.

I bet you don't fuck with cold water.

No cold plunge. No, I don't do cold plunge shit. And, uh, I probably should, but I don't. And then, and then the other part that you don't hear about is the chafing. So like, I don't know if they still do this, but they, you know, you'll go on a 4-mile run or 12-mile run or whatever, and you'll get out of the water and you'll still have your wetsuit on. And they'll be like— I mean, this is the shit you don't see on TV. They'll say, all right, everybody take a handful of sand, put it under your armpits, put it down your junk, put a handful of sand down your ass crack. All right, gents, ladies, we're going on a 12-mile run. And dude, your junk is rubbed— can—

like, you could take whatever STD you, you know, you can think of in this shit.

Is there's no skin on it, dude. There's no skin on your sack. There's no skin under your arms. There's no skin in your ass Do you think it's—

do you think the training is just as hard now as when you were in? Harder or same?

I don't know. I don't know. You know, I think, I think it's changed a lot. But from what I, from what I understand, and I don't really keep in contact much with the community at all, the, the end product is just as capable.

Yeah.

You know, and a lot of shit's changed, you know, since— I think it should evolve, you know what I mean? I don't think— I think that, look, there's a lot of broke dicks when I was in because they overdid it.

I think maybe that, but like when you look at the military as a whole, like I kind of wish we'd regress a little bit, be a little bit tougher. Like you look at some of these fucking, like, like I don't even know how they do it. They'll be like a drill sergeant with a fucking iPhone recording like some two fucking liberals, like limp dick women fighting. Like, bro, like what are you doing? Like how the fuck do you have an iPhone recording like shouldn't you be like teaching these fucking people, smacking them, making them run? Have you seen those these days where it's like, how do you fucking even do— and then you post it? Like, there's no like chain of command that says, hey, don't film recruits being like fucking pussies. Yeah, I don't know, man. The military standard is fucking weird. I actually want to join the military when I was a kid.

Really?

No, I did. So like, fighting sucked, dude. Like, um, I mean, you're so poor. Like, when you're a fighter, you're so fucking poor. Like, you're like— even in the UFC, dude, the UFC guys, they're signing guys that like I think they're signing guys like 10 and 10.

This—

and this—

what does that mean, 10 and 10?

So like 10 to show, 10 to win.

So you get 20 grand for a fight.

20 grand. So then you pay off your manager, you pay off, you know, you pay taxes. Like, dude, you're— if you lose, you'd be making like 8, 7 grand.

So shit.

And now you go and get fucking sick or get injured and get locked out. Like, the UFC is fucking brutal. Like, the UFC is so fucking predatory. This is why you see a lot of foreigners excel. Because, you know, guys in Brazil that live in the fucking favelas, like, dude, $10,000 to them, bro, that's fucking life-changing. Yeah, I have buddies that go and like live in like, you know, Dagestan or like Brazil, and they go back and they live like a fucking king. Like, bro, you can't even pay rent for a couple months here. So like the UFC, bro, it's like, it's so fucking predatory pay. Like, I'm happy I make good money, but like the only very top guys are making money.

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Oh, it's so predatory. Now mind you, like, you could, you could get a couple fights maybe in like the UFC. They love you take a short notice fight. The UFC calls you and they say, hey, you want to take a fight on like 5-day notice? They will give you like, you know, maybe a $30,000, $40,000, $50,000 pay bump. But yeah, the UFC loves that shit. They love short notice fights, give you the biggest pay bumps. And there's a manager named Sean Shelby. Everybody hates dealing with him. I mean, I'm friends with him, but like, he was my manager at Walterway. Oh dude, he was such a fucking cunt. And I say this as a friend, Sean, you know, like, you're a nice guy, but like, everybody fucking hates you. Like, it gets— it's so bad in the UFC whenever someone's like, oh yeah, what weight class you in? And like, oh yeah, I'm in this division. Like, oh dude, you got Sean Shelby, man. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm fucking sorry, dude. This guy's so fucking brutal. Like you could have a boring fight or something and this motherfucker will bench you for like 8 months.

Or like you say, hey Sean, like I want to fight and he'll call you with like 2 weeks out from a fight. Like, hey, we got a fight for you. Like, dude, 2 weeks out? You can't give me a little bit more fucking notice? And if you say no, he'll fucking bench your ass. Yeah, they do. The UFC is fucking brutal. Like, I wanted to—

crazy.

But this is why I like the UFC. It's like it attracts, you know, fucking degenerates. Like, 10 and 10 for a lot of guys and like where they come from, that's still a lot of fucking money. But yes, I would tell anybody, don't join the UFC. And then to be like, to get in the UFC, you're, uh, dude, the road's rough. Like, it's way easier now than it was when I was a kid. Now it's like you go get a couple good fights, go get on the contenders and get in, they'll sign you for 10 and 10, 9 and 9. But the road being a UFC fighter is rough. Like, you just, like, you're making no money. I think I was making like $1,000 to fight.

$1,000 to— how do you live? I mean, do you have a second job?

No, I was, uh, dude, I was sleeping in the gym. I had this coach, uh, John Munoz. We had a falling out, but like, he would let me sleep in the gym. Like, he let me sleep in the gym. Um, jacked up with a girl once, she let me sleep at her house for a while. That was nice. Got me out of the gym. And thank you, that was nice. But, uh, no, so like As much as I hate the UFC and I, and I, and I knock on them, they give people opportunity that you never have. Like, I've never had an opportunity. But like, going back to the military, I'm like, I'm just fucking poor, my life fucking sucks. Like, I have no dignity. I'm 17, you know, 18, riding a bike to the gym, sleeping on a mat. Like, man, I fucking hate myself. Like, I'm a fucking loser, you know? Like, I'm a fucking piece of shit, right? Because like, I'm no high school I don't have a high school diploma. I'm chasing this. I'm seeing my friends with cars. I'm like, you know, I'm seeing my friends elevate their life. And here I am, just a fucking loser sleeping in the gym.

So I was like, you know what, man? Like, I hate this. I don't have a high school diploma. So I walked in, like, all the recruiters, like, you know, and the Army was the only one that's like, hey, they had a— I don't know if they still do it, but they had a a waiver that if you had 15 college credits, which isn't hard to get 15 credits, apparently there's only like a few classes. So if you have 15 college credits, they'll waive your, uh, you don't need a GED. I don't know what it was called, but that was the program at the time. So I'm like, sweet, I'm gonna go join the Army. I don't care what I do, just, I want a place to live. I want to have a car and I want to like, I want to look myself in the mirror and not be like, you're a piece of shit anymore. So I go and I sign up, uh, I go and I sign up for like the local community college. Fucking bomb that place, man. Like, man, bomb the place. I look back, my dude, you're a fucking idiot, man.

Because I never went to school. Like, I— like, my— if you had to talk about all my years I went to school, probably like, like kindergarten, first, second, uh, ninth. I probably only been to school for like 4 years of my life.

Are you serious?

Yeah, about 4 years.

Holy shit.

Yeah, so like, um, Oh yeah, 4 years of mine. I think about that like, fuck, man, I— real questionable, real questionable. So Kamala Harris, she actually really fucked us on this one. Uh, in kindergarten, like, so Kamala Harris did this thing, if you were a truant, you made your parents— like, your parents go to jail. So, you know, growing up, like, dude, it was a fucking nightmare in my house. Like, my dad would get home at 4, start fucking drinking, and then like we'd be up until like 2 in the morning. Just fucking, fucking World War II, you know? Like, I remember, like, my mom used to, like, sit in the kitchen and I would, like, sit between her legs and just, like, my dad, like, you're a fucking whore, you're fucking your boss. And I'm just, like, a little kid holding her legs.

How old are you?

Oh, fuck, man. This was, like, my other life, but, like, maybe, like, kindergarten. Like, I mean, this is, like, my earliest memories. I don't really have a lot of good memories as a kid. Like, it's even, like, pictures. Like, my girl will go and, like, she, like, framed my, you know, because I've won the belt twice, so she'll go and frame my gloves I'm like, babe, I just hate it. I can't look back at it. Anytime I look at a picture of myself in the past, I fucking hate it. I think it's just from so traumatized as a kid with who I was. I can't look at myself and be like, oh yeah, there's Sean Strickland. I can't say it. So my girl is funny. She'll make me all this shit. She'll just load it up in the place. I have a whole closet full of all this cool shit I can't look at. But so anyways, that happened where I'd be up until like 2, 3 in the morning. And then it gave me like severe social anxiety to where like I'd go to school and, you know, I was just fucked up. Like, I, like, I mean, I just hide under the bed and I want to go to school.

Like, so eventually I would go to school and I'd be up all night long because my mom would be like in World War III. Like, I'd be up till 2, 3 in the morning. Watching my mom. And this is like every fucking night, every night.

My dad would be going on.

So my dad would get home at like 4 o'clock and just start drinking. And then by like, and then by, uh, by like, uh, fuck, dude, by, by, uh, I don't know, like 9 o'clock, dude, just World War fucking War III. Every now and then he would yell at you and be like, get your ass upstairs. Like, you know, because I would like try to protect my my mom, like, go upstairs. So you'd go, you'd go upstairs and like, you're just sitting there like, you know, fucking crying your brains out, listening to your mom like, oh, I hope my mom doesn't die tonight, I hope my mom doesn't die tonight. Actually, I remember one time, like you say, you hope your mom doesn't die. Yeah, like, you know, because you're just like, you're laying in bed like hearing your dad like, I'll fucking kill you. Like, I mean, I remember my dad, like, I mean, earliest remembrance here, like earliest memory is telling my dad that like, if you cheat on me again, I'll cut you and burn you and put your body in acid and bury you in the backyard. It's like all night long You're just like, you're hearing this shit, right?

So like, it just— anyways, so I remember, um, people ask if I'm religious, you know. You religious, man?

I am.

So I remember like laying in bed once and like, you know, being a kid, crying. Like, crying. No pillow sheets, right? No, like, I know sheets on my fucking bed. And like, I know like pillow sheets, like when you have like a— when you have like a dirty, nasty, brown, fucked up pillow that, uh, with no, with no fucking case on it. It's like waxy. So I remember just like crying my fucking eyes out almost in this pillow, and I'm like, dude, there's no God. Like, right? Like, if there's a God, like, how the fuck— like, how the fuck is there a God? And these are my earliest memories. Like, why would God do this to me?

Do you ever think about that still? Yeah.

And then like, I remember like wanting to die before I knew what it was. Now with kids or so, like, suicide's a thing, but like when you're a little kid, you don't know what suicide is. But I remember laying in bed like, man, I just like, why am I here? Like, I want this to like gone, you know? So like, um, yeah, so laying in bed all night long, just not sleeping. So I'd go to school and I would just sleep all day long, just, you know, lay on my desk and just sleep all through school. So kindergarten happened, and then I don't know if my mom was working at the time, but then first grade happened and then she started working. So now I had to go and like, I'm up all night long and I have to get myself up. I have to get myself up and then walk to school. So you're telling me like first grade, I did it. I walked to school. I showed up like late every day. I remember like when 9/11 happened, like I was fucking sleeping. It was on the West Coast. Like it happened at like, you know, whatever time it happened, 10 AM.

I was fucking sleeping. I remember I walked into like my third grade class. Like everyone's like watching. I'm saying, hey, what's up guys? I just, just waking up, you know, like what's going on? So, uh, uh, yeah. So I just would sleep all day long. And then once I hit like third, third, fourth grade, I started ditching and I was like, dude, I don't have to go to school anymore.

Like what the fuck?

I just walked to school. Like I'm not going to go. Like I'm not going to go. So I just not fucking go. It's funny. I had this one teacher. And, uh, it makes me laugh, dude, because I got this one teacher that took my desk from me because she got so mad I was sleeping. So like, she literally was like, Sean, you can't stop sleeping in class, I'm taking your desk from you, make you stand. So I'm just like, I'm like, I'm— mind you, I'm a fucking hoodlum as a kid. I'm like, fuck you, bitch, I'll just sleep on the fucking floor. So I literally just like slept on the floor. And like, she took my desk, everybody else had desks. I'm just in the back of the classroom just sleeping on the floor. And mind you, she doesn't know I'm sleeping because I'm like I'm in a fucking World War III at my house. Right. So it's like, it's just kind of funny how like society just, you know, never asked, hey Sean, why, why can't you stay awake in class? Well, shit, man. So, and then going into fourth grade, they did this.

Um, they did this. Kamala Harris did this thing that if kids were truant in school, they'd prosecute, they'd prosecute the parents. So, um, I started ditching, like, I want to go to school. So my mom had a choice, like, either she's gonna get charged or homeschool me. So now I'm homeschooled from 4th grade, 5th, 6th. I went back in middle school, but now, mind you, I went back in middle school and I'm fucked up, right? Like, I've only been— I've only been socialized, like, I was like, fucking, dude, I've got to have fucking friends. So I was like socialized from, you know, kind of socialized for 2 years. And dude, mind you, at my house—

just humiliated.

Oh yeah, mind you, dude. Like, I mean, I was watching fucking porn when I was like in fucking second grade, you know? Like, like we had like a, like a little porn box in my fucking— that like my brother had watched. My sister's funny, dude. My dad, you know, like back in the day, you kids don't know this shit, but they had like the TV with the, uh, the built-in VCR. So my dad would always take my sister's VCR, and she had to be like— she's probably like 6 years older than me, so she's like middle school— and be like, oh, Dad, you left your fucking porn in the VCR, as she's like watching— goes to watch a fucking Disney movie and there's like some fucking dub porn tape. So like, we were just around that. Like, it was just normal. We're just around that shit, you know? It was like very like, just, yeah, there's a porn box. Oh, Dad left fucking porn in the VCR. Like, You know, so I'm just painting this picture of like me being this unsocialized, like, she's not socialized. And then, um, my grandfather was like, kind of like my hero, which is like military guy or ex-military.

He might only did a few years. I don't know if he, I don't know if he like probably got kicked out, but to paint a picture of my grandfather, he's like this 6'7" big white guy, South, like. The most racist shit you will ever meet, you know, like cleaning a fucking gun on the fucking porch, dude. Like, I almost dropped the hard ER, but on the fucking, you know, oh, get these fucking off my, off my lawn, you know. I mean, that was him. That was him. So me being this like piece of shit bullied kid by like everybody, my brother, my sisters, like I was the youngest, the youngest in this like brutal fucking food chain. So I just got like I got the worst of it. So like me, I had this big fucking big white strong man who had guns and like, I was like, man, this is like, he's the only male role model in my life. And all he would talk about, racist, racist, racist, fucking blacks, Mexicans, racist, racist, racist. So it's like, I assume that identity. Like there's this movie American History X.

Oh yeah, I know it.

I mean, that was, that was like who I wanted to be. Red laces, swastika. Like that was like, man, that's like That's who I want to be. Like, that's the kind of guy I want to fucking be. So 7th grade comes around and, um, you know, I just, I'm full on fucking eat the pudding, you know, I'm like a super just real fucking racist, you know? Yeah. Like, so I'll give you an example. One of actually my good friends, um, this was a my 7th grade, this was, uh, now he's actually a good friend of mine, my boy Josh. But his sister used to sit behind me in class, and I think I said something like, hey, you know, like, leave me the fuck alone, you basketball, you know, like, leave me the fuck alone. So he goes and like tells like her big old black brother Josh, 7th grade. I'm like, I'm— how old are you in 7th grade?

What, 12 maybe?

Yeah, like 12, right? So I'm at lunch and this guy comes up to me and he goes, hey man, like you said some racist shit to my, my sister. And I look at him, I say, hey, you fucking, you know, hardy, like, why don't I go give you a fucking rope and you can go fucking hang yourself in a tree? Like, I'm like 11, 12 years old saying shit like this. So I mean, I just, I'm using this to paint a picture. Later in life, we actually became like, you know, as I started training, he started training and I kind of grew out of it. We became like really close friends. And you know, I mean, like, hey, sorry, man. So that happens. And then I got kicked out of school in middle school for a hate crime. I don't know what I fucking did. I probably like was just spouting off some shit. They put me in a class where they isolate you. They put you in a— you go in at 11, you go in at like 10 AM and they let you out at 1 AM and they do it to keep you away from them.

So I was in that for a while and then I went and then I told my mom like, I can't do this. So she homeschooled me because I was ditching again because Kamala. So I was ditching. Now I'm homeschooled again for 8th grade.

Real quick, is anybody at the school— is anybody outside of your family asking you what the hell is going on in the home life?

No, no, man.

They're just disciplining.

No, my sister's a school psychologist. I'm like, you really like— what do you do? You know, you can't— like, you're going to vibe— you're going to involve yourself as much as you can, but what are you gonna do? You can't really change anybody's lives. Yeah. So now I'm back in school in 9th grade, and I'm loving—

I love football. I love football.

Like, you know, I have fucking football is like my dream. I love it. It's the only time I could fucking hit somebody, but I couldn't keep a GPA. I've only done like, I mean, I could probably barely read and write at this time, you know. So I couldn't keep a GPA. I couldn't keep a fucking 2.0 if my life depended on it. So then like, I, I got kicked out of school or no, then I— once football was a thing, dude, I just gave no fucks. I got kicked out of school again for a hate crime. I think a Jewish kid was running for class or office. I was like, dude, like, I think I said like, the last thing we need is another fucking kike running for power. And mind you, I'm like, I'm in fucking— I don't even know what that means. Like, I don't even know what that fucking means. I'm in 9th grade. Yeah, I'm 9th grade. I don't know what the fuck that means. You know, but like some of my grandpas say, so I say it. So then I, uh, go to these like just shitty gang school with all these fucking like— which probably not help my racism at all.

Yeah, Orange Grove, it's like a— this is shitty. I mean, there's guys like fucking smoking crack in the bathroom. Like, mind you, I'm like, I'm like the only white kid here, so I'm like getting fucked up. I'm fighting these little fucking, little fucking degenerates, you know, like Like, it's, it's, it's making me worse. And this is like why institutions usually make people worse. We're like, people like, oh, put them in jail, lock them up. Like, no, you're just making them worse. Like, you're just fucking making them worse. So I tell my mom, like, I can't be here. Like, I'm like the token racist white kid, you know, I'm getting in fights. So I don't tell my mom, she just knows. So she homeschools me again.

What does homeschool look like?

It's just fucking nothing, dude.

Just nothing.

Nothing, dude. I want, you know, so she homeschools me. Yeah, like nothing. She homeschools me again just because it's like, you know, I go back and then like finally, like, I go back to— I go back to school again in like 10th grade. I do another fucking hate crime. I get fucking kicked out. I think I had a fight with a bunch of black guys, like jump me in the locker room and I got fucked because I was white. I was like, what are you talking about? They're like, well, you said fucking. I was like, well, I mean, what do you think? I still got my ass kicked by like 5 black guys. What are you talking about? So I got kicked out again for a hate crime. And then, uh, and then I'm in like, and I'm in the shitty school. I transferred to a continuation school to get my credits to graduate. I'm like in, I don't know if I'm like sophomore, junior. I think I might have been going to my junior year. And then I was like, ah, fuck. And then I, so during all this, I'm just really pissed off, angry.

I start training now. I got like, my mom brings me to a gym. I start training. I fucking love it. It, dude. I love like training. To me, was the only time in my life I've ever been happy. I tell a story, but I remember walking in the gym, I'd be like fucking 14 years old, 15 years old, and I just got the shit kicked out of me. Like the utter shit kicked out of me by like, like 19, 20-year-olds beat the fuck out of me. Only time in my life I've ever been happy.

Really?

Like the only time in my life I've ever been happy was like leaving out of the fucking bloody nose. I'm all fucked up and like, I love this. Like, I don't know what this is, but I'm happy. So during my, uh, sophomore year— I think the sophomore, junior, senior— I'm training now. I'm at this continuation school. I grow my hair out super long, and that's where Tarzan came from, because like I was so like, you know, like I wasn't racist, I was angry. And once I started training, I really was like, man, I'm not racist, I'm just fucking pissed off and angry. I'm just super fucking angry. So like, going back to like the shame I felt on myself, I wanted to get away from like Sean, the little kid, and I wanted to like recreate my identity. So I grew my hair out long. And, um, I mean, they used to call me like— my nickname in training was Hate. Like Sean the Hate Strickland, just because like, like everything in me was just hate. Fucking hate the color of the wall. Fucking hate you.

Hate this.

Hate him. Like everything with me was just like— the only thing I felt was just hate for everything. So I grew my hair out really fucking long. I started training, just ate the pudding of training, loved it. Every day after training, I'd skip school to go train. I remember talking to one of my teachers about like graduating. I was like, fuck this, like, I want to be a fighter. And I just like left school. I was like, I never came back and just went full-time fighting from like, from like 15 to, to about, I think 18 or 19.

You started at 15?

Yes, around 15. So then I'm about 18, 19 years old, going through like fighting lower circuits. I got— I turned as a professional fighter at 17. So I'm like just going through the circuit, just fighting, taking fights. But I'm like, I'm making no money. I'm a piece of shit, dude. Like, I'm a fucking piece of shit. I hate myself. I hate myself even more now because now it's like, now I'm becoming a fucking man and I have like I'm even worse off.

So, um, why do you hate yourself?

It's just like, you have no money, dude. You have no self. I have no fucking GED. I have no fucking money. I'm riding a bike everywhere I go.

My—

like, I— like, you know, I'm just a fucking loser. And mind you, I had no social skills. So like, there was no like, oh, like everybody else is out going to parties and getting laid and like partying. I had no social skills. Like, I didn't I didn't have that. I remember one time something really stuck with me. I mean, I have a few things that stuck with me, like 7th grade, my— I think my math teacher, history teacher, Ms. Wadges, she looked at me and she's like, Sean, they build prisons for people like you. Absolutely right. 100%. Like, after I look back, I'm like, yeah, you're 1,000% right. Like, without fighting, the best thing you could have done for me is put me in a cage and said, don't come out. But, you know, through fighting, I kind of like found myself. But I had this football coach, fucking dick of a guy. All my, all my buddies were like going out to a movie or something. And I was like, what the fuck? You don't invite me? And my coach, 100% right. My coach walks up to me, he's like, dude, why would they invite you?

You're a fucking asshole. Like, you're a fucking dick, dude. Nobody likes you. And me, like, in hindsight, I'm like, yeah, you're 100% right. Like, 100% right. So I like, I have these like little moments in my life that you just remember that like, like an adult told me, never a kid, like an adult, somebody in authority told me, I'm like, Yeah, man, like you're definitely on to something. So I'm training now. I'm 18.

You had like, you had nobody. You had nobody.

Oh yeah, I know. I was like, oh.

That was a positive influence on you. Everybody just.

Well, no, I did. So like I had, man, like all my positive influences were like, you know, my grandfather, like the guys in the, like I looked up to American History X guys.

I said positive influence.

But no, no positive.

I know, like nobody to like really—

the gyms helped me because like there were people that like, that were like me, that, um, the gyms help because there are a lot of people are like, and I fit in. I would go and like the only positive influence I got was from the gym. Like you'd go fight people and like, you know, like you, you have like a brotherhood in the gym. It's, I'm sure it's probably very similar to military, just obviously you're not fucking killing people. So it's probably not as strong. But like, you know, you're with these people every day, you're fighting them. That really changed my life, training and getting the anger out. Like, it— if it wasn't for fighting, dude, like, I always say, like, oh, you'd be like, no, I want to be a serial killer. I'd fucking would have just murdered somebody on the street and been locked up. I would have been institutionalized for the rest of my life. Like, it wouldn't have been like— there would be no romantic story behind it. I would have just been pissed off, fucking done a horrific act, and then institutionalized for the rest of my life. I would have got out, I would have done another horrific act, and I would just be institutionalized for the rest of my life.

That was like my path if it wasn't for fighting, you know, just a long line of institutionalization. But, uh, so now I'm like 18 years old, my life fucking sucks. I'm, uh, you know, just no self-respect, no fucking dignity. And then I go to a recruiter and I'm like, guys, my life sucks, dude. Like, I just like fucking sucks. I just, I'll do anything. I'll fucking, I'll do anything. Just give me a uniform, give me a place. Like, let me look in the mirror and be like, dude, you're a, you're not a loser. Like, you know, and I think that's a lot of, like, I'm sure a lot of people want that. Like, they want the uniform, they want the respect of it. Just to like, you know, you're not that guy anymore. You're that guy. You're the fucking, you know, the guy on the wall. So I go and I sign up for college to go get my 15 credits, bomb the placement. So I probably had to even do more than I needed to. The day before college started, I go to like a high school party just cause like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't know why, I don't know, because like it was like the in-between to where like high school kids right out of high school, they went there.

So it's like the in-between. And, uh, I was bored. I was just fucking bored. And I was like, you know, I'm not getting no pussy. I'm just— I don't drink, by the way. And there's these two kids, and I was like, I just want to fuck somebody up. Like, the only thing that's gonna make this night better if I could just fuck somebody up. So my buddy like goes and, you know, like, I'm like, mind you, I'm a predator. Like, right. I'm a fucking predator. Like, even like, I'm not just like some like, you know, fucked up kid that like, oh yeah, poor Sean. Like, you know, he just, he had a rough patch. At this point in my life, I am a predator. Like everything to me is like, I'm looking for my, I'm looking for my kind of fun. And my kind of fun is usually like to, to, I always say like my kind of fun is like to, you know, violate the rights of others. Like that's my kind of fun.

Dominance.

Yeah. So, I mean, like, it comes down to like, I think they call it conduct disorder and then it goes to antisocial personality disorder and like you have to have like, and I have every single one of them, like you have to have like one of like 10 traits. I have literally every single fucking one of them, every single fucking one of them. So I'm at this party, I see 2 victims, you know, they like, yeah, they'll fit the bill tonight. They'll give me something to do. And I mind you, I'm stone cold fucking sober. So my buddy, my buddy starts like hitting on one of their chicks and then one guy like comes over and I get between. I don't give a fuck. I just like, you know, give me my opportunity. I want my fun. I want to have fun. So he, uh, he pretty much like reaches out and like to grab my shirt and I just fucking drill him in the face. And which is fine. I've hit so many fucking people before. Like, you know, you just hit a guy, brother gets out of the car, comes running at me, boom, drill him in the face.

Well, it was fun. So I go home. Next thing I know, I get a fucking warrant for my arrest. So cops like call me or they call my brother and my brother tells me, oh dude, they're looking for you. So I go meet up with the cops and I wasn't like a hardened criminal. I was just a fucked up kid that liked to hurt people. It just, it was a high school party. I got in a fight. The first guy hit, dude, I just fucking destroyed his face. Can't do it in a fight, but I hit a fucking loser when I'm a kid and I'm fucked. I mean, like, fucking broke, broke his nose, broke his jaw, knocked out his fucking front teeth. He had to go get like multiple reconstructive surgeries. The second guy hit, just broke his nose, had to go get surgery. And I got arrested. Now I'm sitting in this. I got arrested. The guy showed me the pictures like, hey, I don't want to take you to jail, dude. I know it was just a high school fight, but it's like they're fucked up. So I like, I have to take you to jail.

So I'm sitting in, I'm sitting in fucking county now with all these fucking white supremacist skinheads. And it's a funny story. So I'm walking past, I'm a kid, I post my mugshot, I'm a kid, bro. I look at that picture, I'm like, fuck, like you're like, you're like a dorky ass little kid, professional fighter at the time, but I still a fucking kid. So I'm walking past like the black cell and they segregate in Riverside County, dude. And you have like, dude, it's like you have like 10, 15 big old fucking black guys hanging on the cell, like, just like talking shit as you walk by. And I'm like, oh, fuck. So I get to my— the segregation cell, and all these white guys come up to you. And I was only in for like a day and a half. It wasn't very long. So they get to, uh, the white cell. I remember them like telling me like, hey, Sean, like, they go, they make your bed, they show you what— because like when you get arrested, they give you this little wooden— they get a little box and they give you the lowdown.

Like, hey, you can't shower the black guy, you can't fucking shit where we eat, like, and they give you the lowdown at the very end of it. I was like, you know, guys, I'm not really like, I'm not really racist. So it's like, how does that work? And they're like, well, here's the thing, Sean, you're either with us or you're not. And I remember walking past that fucking, that cell with all the black guys talking shit to me, and I was like, I'm in, brother. Like, I'm in, dude. I'm in this part. I'm in the club, dude. When do I get my tattoo? Let's get a swastika. So just shows you, like, institutionalized, right? But I remember the thing, like, you don't have a choice. Yeah, but I remember the thing though, when I was in there, how much I admired these people. Mind you, these guys are fucking shitbags. One guy in there was for attempted murder. Like, but like, I looked at these people like, I mean, I'm sure you would look at like a, like a Navy SEAL or like a, like someone you look at a hero. I looked at these shitbag people like, man, you like, like I spider.

I talked to them for a little bit. I was like, you're who I want to be. Like, you're kind of who I want to be. Like, I admire this.

What was it about them that you admired? Just like community.

Community. Uh, I mean, they were cool and they're really nice to me, you know, they were, they're fucking really cool to me, which is probably like something I don't get often. But yeah, I just, they just like, just the tattoos are like, they're just fucking shit bad. They're savages. Like they would do like it's just like, I don't know, man. I always say like, I don't know. You did you have a pretty good upbringing?

I did. I had a pretty good upbringing. I had a great upbringing.

So whenever you go through like, and I'm sure you've, you've experienced a lot of like PTSD, but I don't, I don't know how, like, I don't know what PTSD feels like as an adult. Right. So like, I never, like, I don't know what it's like to be normal and then watching your buddy's head get blown off. Like, I don't know what that's like. I don't know what kind of of it, like what kind of that does to the brain, you know?

It does less to the brain than what happened to you.

It's not— some people do— to some people, like, I mean, I've, I've met some people that like after they went to like Iraq and like they were like usually IEDs.

See though, Sean, but a lot of like, like I had an abnormal childhood for the industry that I was in, you know, and a lot of, a lot of it probably helps you when you're adjusted, you're emotionally secure. You're an oddball. I mean, a lot of the guys that go and have a bad, you know, their childhood's like you. And I didn't, I didn't even fucking know that, man. I mean, my best friend in the SEAL Teams was dropped off on a doorstep in a, in a car seat. Yeah, you know, like shit like that. And, and, but, or like what you're talking about, and I didn't even know this until I started this. Yeah. And like, you see all this stuff in here, like a lot of these guys have been molested as kids. They've been sexual abuse, like very similar to your situation. Uh, I have one guy in here, Steve, a friend of mine. I mean, they're putting like— put cigarettes out. His stepdad was putting cigarettes out on his dick and And you go to— like, I did therapy for like 3 and a half years after I left CIA, and they kept going.

They kept going to childhood. They kept going to my childhood. There's just, you know, there's not— there's nothing there. Like, I had a great childhood, you know. I feel guilty about it after.

I know that, but that's good though, because it makes you like more emotionally secure. Like, like my wife, great childhood, as perfect as you get. And that's the only reason why we're together, because every time I'm with a woman like me, it's like we're two fucked up people together. But my wife is like so together that she could like— now mind you, I like, I don't, I'm not me. Like, you know, usually if you have a wife, guys, you gotta really learn how to just like repress everything. Just fuck, don't be yourself. Just fucking be completely different. Go hang out with your boys. But yeah, I always wonder though, like, like, um, because I met some soldiers or like my buddies that were like, usually the IDs will get them. Like if they had a friend die in like Iraq or Afghanistan with ID, those guys are usually ones that fucked up. They feel like survivor's guilt.

I mean, it's— I'm not, I'm not diminishing it. I'm just saying that when you go through it, you know, and you start to unpack everything, it all starts with, with the childhood trauma stuff, man. Well, I mean, didn't it, uh, that forms who you become and that for the informs everything.

Well, Mattis, wouldn't that Mattis say something? Somebody asked him about PTSD. He's like, do some people get it or they don't? It's like, if you're prone to it, you're going to get it. I don't know the quote, but he said some quote about PTSD.

Who said that?

General Mattis, about like, he's like, it's either you get it, like some people get it, some people don't.

Everybody gets it, dude. Yeah, that dude's full of shit if he's saying that. Everybody fucking deals with it.

Well, I think it's the ones, but I think it's the ones that like bury themselves in the bottle. You know, it's like there's some guys that like bury themselves in a bottle.

That's everybody. Yeah, he's an officer, he's a general. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I guess he doesn't really fucking know, right? He's just so— he's the one that says the orders.

I don't know his whole background, but he's a fucking 4-star general, you know what I mean?

So I mean, he's pretty far, but I know some guys are thriving in it. Like, I know some guys are doing contracting work, like even with like a, you know, I don't want to get into details, but like there's a big current thing going on right now and they're over there. But, uh, they love it. They fucking—

you get addicted to it, man. I mean, just like you're talking about, I mean, that's where you excel at fighting. You're going to parties and you get addicted to fucking whooping people's ass, right? You get addicted.

Dude, I fucking— I stabbed a guy. Here's a knife, dude. I fucking killed—

like, you good? You good? You get addicted to it. You get addicted to the adrenaline. You get addicted to the killing. Some guys have killed so many people that, I mean, it gets boring. It's like, oh, I've not killed anybody with a water bottle before. You know what I mean? Let's see how that is. I'm going to knife this guy in the neck. I'm going to knife him in the crotch. I'm going to, you know, try to rip his liver out. I'm going to hit him in the femoral down here. And it becomes like, how many different ways Kanai got a dude.

Yeah, well, he's telling me a story about, you know, the place that we can't talk. I don't want to get— I don't really know if I'm fucking violating or I'm gonna get in trouble, but he was like telling me that like they had to go and refrain someone from just smoking civilians, where like he would just like— they're contracting work and he'd like— he would just fucking shoot. You just fucking shoot people. And like, we had to stop. Like, you like— you can't just go fucking shoot people. Like, you just can't go like— like, some people, man, some people are just like They're just— but you know what it is? You're religious, I'm not. But it's like, I wasn't, but like, I can— I could use like metaphor, like, like theology. Like, you all— everybody starts off with like a soul, like a really good, like, like soul, right? And every time you do a bad deed, you like, you kind of erode that part of you. Like, every time you push the envelope of something horrible to do, you kind of like, you erode that and you kind of like, you kind of take it away from you.

So I think with people with PTSD, especially like with like when you have a victim mentality, I would actively try to erode my goodness, right? Because like being good never got me anything. Being good got me like, I was fucked up. I was a victim. Like, that was like, I was sad, I was fucking scared, I would cry. Like, being good, that good little soul that you have that you're born with— and I'm not religious, but like, I picture it be like, you know, like a little glowing fucking ball inside you. That good little soul that you have when you're a kid, it's so innocent, it's so innocent. And then as life and adults and the cigarettes and like, as, as you become an adult and like these fucked up people, like, can just touch your soul a little bit, and they just, they make you feel like such a victim that we're like, you want to talk about like the antisocial degenerates, like the, the conduct disorder. You start realizing that like it's bad. Like this good little, this good thing you have in you that like you care about women, you care about like the victim, like it doesn't get you anywhere.

Just like it only make, it only puts you in a bad place. So like you start growing up and you just start like carving away and just chipping away at it. Like, I don't want this anymore, it's not good. Like, I don't want to be sad, I don't want to be a fucking victim. Like, I don't— I don't want this anymore, take it out of me. I take it— take it the fuck out of me. So you start like doing things to just like scar yourself. Like, whether it be like you commit a hate crime, or like you violate the rights of others, or like you kill a fucking animal, you just start doing these. And like, it starts after a while, like it feels good, and then you start pushing the envelope. Envelope of like, well, I want to know what this— like you said with a bottle, I want to kill somebody with a bottle. Like, you start pushing the envelope of like, what bad deed can I do to like start making me feel something? And after a while, you just like, you're just so fucking numb. You're just like, I could do anything.

I could fucking— I could kill anybody. I could fucking— I could do anything right now and I could sleep like a baby tonight. But that's what you want, right? That's what your body— that is what your mind is telling you to do. Like, you, you got to be a hard man. Like you're in a different world, dude. Like, but you got to be able to do any horrible act and go to bed fine. And if it feels good after a while, you're like, oh man, dude, I'm like, whether you're sleeping with random women, whether you're like violating the rights of others, like after a while you're good. I'm good. I don't know. I feel fine. So I think that's like, you know, talking about like PTSD and like you're talking about like, what can I kill a man with? Is a bottle. It, you just start chipping away at that, like, little goodness inside you. And once it's gone, dude, once it's gone, life is nice. It's worse because you're miserable, right? You're fucking miserable and like you hate life, but it's like, but it's a misery you like.

I wouldn't say it's nice. I mean, everything, it all gets fucking boring, you know, like, but like I said, I had a great childhood, but it's boring.

But no, it's boring now because it's like you're Sean Ryan, the podcast for the family.

That's not what I'm talking about. I got so fucked up and I hated— I hated being in this country because I couldn't get as dark as I needed to be. And so I packed up my shit and I moved to Colombia, South America, and I lived down in Medellín for like 5 years.

But part of you misses that, right? No, you don't miss it at all anymore. You got 2 kids.

Yeah, I got a family, I got kids, but down there Dude, I just felt empty.

Yeah.

I was like, this is like, what am I? I just felt empty. Like there was no, there was no good. Like no good. It was, dude, I mean, yeah. Was it a good time for a while? Yeah, it was a good time for probably about 2 or 3 years.

And then at some point you're just like, yeah.

And then it was like, how many more like women am I going to bring in here? Yeah, like, shit's as weird as it can possibly get now. Like, yeah, like everything you can imagine I've done. Yeah, then I started like getting like— I got into coke and I started— I was like, how deep into this network can I infiltrate? And I started infiltrating cocaine networks and figuring out how it works and like fucking slapping dudes around down there hoping I would get killed, hoping like Like, just, I would bring calculator down there because if, you know, have you been down to South America at all? If you go down there as a white boy, yeah, it's a sin for them not to rip you off. Yeah, you know. And so I would go to the co— I would go buy, I guess, not tons of coke. I'm not like—

now, are you doing it for work or you're just trying to party?

Both.

Okay.

No, no, no, not work. It wasn't work. It was I mean, it was, it was like feeding— yeah, dude, it was feeding my adrenaline. Work was Middle East. This was, yeah, you know, this was totally different. But, um, but I, I would like pull up my iPhone calculator and like however many grams or whatever I'm buying, I would put it on my calculator and I would like, like, let's say if— let's say I'm buying, I don't know, 100 grams, I would try to put it on my calculator, or 50 grams, I put it on my calculator and type in like 4 or 5 point da da da da da da da da, and then make it look like it was a scale. But, uh, and I'd slap them, you know, and, and like hoping, like, I'd slap them, but I'm hoping like you gotta look, miss it a little bit. Fucking kill me.

We gotta miss it a little bit, right?

Kill me. Let's go.

You gotta miss it. You gotta miss that a little bit. Like, there are some parts of you—

I don't, dude. Like, it just got like— I just, you know, every time I would go into those areas, I'd be like, every moped, every motorcycle that would drive by me, I'd be like, all right, this is it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head. I know it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head.

They're going to tell me a little bit. Now, when were you religious? In or after?

No, I wasn't religious then.

Does that—

does that sound like somebody—

I'm saying, like, at some point, like, now you, like, you value peace and like, you don't want to be a piece of shit. So it's like, like, did you— like, what was your come-to-Jesus moment when you're like, you know, man, like, I'm, I'm over this shit, I'm too old for this shit?

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and yeah, a lot of fucking money. Yeah.

And, and so I could buy my way out of any trouble that I got in. You know, the cops would arrest me, I'd wind up in jail. On the way to jail, I'd just pay them off. Like, hey, let's stop at this ATM, I'll give you a couple thousand dollars. And taught myself Spanish. I totally immersed myself into that, like, lifestyle. And, um, and I OD'd a couple times. And I remember thinking, like, I remember waking up and then, dude, it was crazy, like, down there. Like, it was fucking crazy. I used to hang out at these clubs, they'd have cocaine.

What about you losing your identity? Has that been hard? Like, because that was your identity for so long, and now you're kind of Yeah, but nobody knew it, dude.

Yeah, nobody knew it. It was just girls and strippers and hookers, drug dealers, and like—

yeah.

And then I would come back to the Saints, nobody knew what the fuck I was doing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Some people did, but yeah, you're not locked—

you're not locked into, uh—

I just like, I'm gonna— I'm gonna die down here. Like, what does my life even fucking mean? I know. And I got run out of there by their version of the feds. And kind of, I can't say escape an invasion, but I just got out because I got tipped off that they were on me.

Now, you weren't out there working, you were just out there partying or a little bit of both. Oh, you know, you're just out there partying. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're one of those guys. You're one of those kind of savages.

Yeah. No, it was not like, it wasn't work. It wasn't.

I'll tell you what, guys, if you've ever been to Colombia and everyone's fucking mean to you, it's because fucking people like this when you go to Colombia.

I mean, it was just— I just, I just— like, that's just like you're talking about, man. You would show up to a high school party and crack dudes in the face. Like, I would show up to— oh yeah, the most dangerous neighborhoods in Colombia and weasel my way in and like be partying with these fuckers at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 in the morning, going 3 or 4 or 5 days straight, you know. I mean, I remember like partying in places you'd look up and you could see like the water It was like those created tin roofs.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? And the tin wouldn't even be matched up, so you could see the sun rays coming in. It was just disgusting, man. It was disgusting.

Yeah, well, I could see why you wouldn't miss that, but maybe the CIA contracting work, do you miss that?

No, I don't miss any of it anymore, man.

Oh, shit.

I mean, my life's totally different now, you know? I don't like—

I imagine that's hard for a lot of vets, right, to let go of that.

Like, yeah, but you have to be willing to let it go. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like now. But I mean, I've— my adrenaline gets fed in different ways now, you know? So, and I have to watch myself and be aware of what the fuck I'm doing. But like, all— I mean, we were talking about being unfiltered at the beginning.

That can give you—

that can give you an adrenaline rush.

So fucking white here where you live, dude.

It's when you— I mean, when you're calling out the most powerful people in the world on a, on a platform, you're—

hey, you're becoming that guy, bro. You are one of the most powerful guys now. Your voice— I mean, you like— is it crazy where like your voice could change elections now?

Well, they didn't change it for the better.

Yeah, but oh yeah, I'm not fucking scum on that one.

But yeah, you know what I'm saying though? So I mean, it just— you But I'm aware of like, I'm aware of that part of me, you know, and I gotta reel myself in still to this day. Like, you know, I'm like, are you doing this because it's actually like the righteous thing to do, or are you doing this because you're like chasing that adrenaline rush? Because I'll do it and then it gets released and then I'm like, there it is, I can feel it. And then I get fucking paranoid.

And you know, I don't like to travel without my wife because if the longer I'm without her, like the more I'm like, the more I like like falling back into who I am. It's like, um, she like— dude, my wife grounds me. It's like if it wasn't for her, no, I'd be in such like— even being who I am now, you would have a very different version of who I am now. Like you would have a fucking completely different fucking version. But even like when I travel on my wife, so I was out training in Florida, like it just like that light starts creeping back in, the boredom starts creeping back in. Once I get bored, it's like it just starts I go home and I hit my recenter and I'm like, wait, no, no, dude, this is you. This is you, man. You have a mortgage. Like, you got fucking dogs and a wife and a family one day. Like, this is you. But if I travel with my wife a lot, it's like really— I like—

Ground you.

Yeah. I'm like on the— even like I was walking through like this cute little fucking city we're in, dude. And they're like all like the nice white people walking them with strollers. Hey, what's up, white man? But I'm so fucking boring. No threats. No like, no, like there's no danger. It's just like walking through the street, like I can't fuck anybody up. There's no potential violence. You're just like, fuck, I'm ready to commit suicide right now. The fuck am I here?

It's a good place to raise kids, man.

Yeah, dude, right?

It's a really good place. Yeah, it's kids. Shit, your wife would probably love it here.

Oh yeah, no, she would. She always, uh, she's from Upstate New York, so she's always trying to go back, but I just can't deal with fucking— I can't deal with fucking liberals. And then, um, New Yorkers are kind of dicks. Even the upstate, the East Coast, I think it's like, um, Northeast in general.

The Northeast in general is just a different vibe for me.

Yeah, they're just fucking dickheads, dude. Like, I was in a liquor store and there was a Black guy buying like a fucking, you know, buying lottery tickets on the way over here, bro. Super cool, man. Real nice guy. We started talking about life. You don't get that in the Northeast. Like, they're just fucking dicks. I don't know. I don't know why. I've actually put a lot on. I think it's just like overly edgy educated people, or just like away from violence. Like, um, because like when you're like— when you're— when you don't have the education, and like Northeast is all about education, Ivy League schools, like it's a different class of fucking people in the Northeast. Not like New York. New York's a shithole. But we're talking about like 99% of New York that like when you meet a man in the like the ghetto, you look at him and you acknowledge him and you say, hey, I'm not a friend. Like, I'm not an enemy. Me. Like, so when I go and I walk and I see a man, and like, whether it be Black, Mexican, or like some kind of trashy, like, I'll look at him like, hey, what's up?

I see you, you see me. Like, we're two men. Like, I'm not here to fucking kill you. Like, what's up? But when you're in the, like, when you're in like the Northeast, I don't think they're violent. I don't think they're violent people. So it's like, when you're in these nice white communities, there's no need to, like, there's no need to let me know that you're not a threat. I just find it fucking boring. I hate it. Fucking hate it.

Do you think you'll hate it if you have kids?

I think I'll just sack up and just fucking be born in white, you know? I think I'll just sack up. Just fucking sack up. Because I know who— I know what I want to do, like, same as you. Like, well, like, you're different now, but like, what I want to do is not good for me. It's not good for my— not good for who I am. And I miss it sometimes. I think of how nice it'd be to just go fucking die in a hole and just like But when you have to allow yourself to enjoy life too, man, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's like you have to give it a chance.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

I just so—

I just find it so fucking boring. Like, even if I'm allocating like a— if I'm like watching a fucking sunset, if I'm like getting a cup of coffee, like, I just—

that's because your mind's racing. You can't sit with yourself.

I'm just so violent. You know, it's like, and that's why I train so much. Like, I'm so fucking violent.

Like, what's going through your head? You know what I mean?

When you're—

when's the last time you sat with yourself and just sat still? You probably can never do that.

I don't know, dude. Yeah, I'll just fucking zone out on my phone. I'll use my fucking dopamine addiction. But no, I like, I know it is. I'm just so fucking violent. Like, I can't, like, I can't tell you. Like, I don't know what it is like with other people, but I cannot be in a fucking place and just not want to like violate the rights of others. Like, I just— I'm fucking violent, dude. I just can't— like, it's all I want to do. It's like, if I'm inside, I just— I want to feel like— I'm sure, like, you know, like when you hit someone on a glove on, dude, it's like a different kind of thud. Like, it just— like, you could feel it on your knuckles. Like, it's all like— I'm just violent. I can't stop thinking about it. But not violent.

Do you think about like why that— why you're like that?

Just conditioning, you know? It's like, um, just conditioning.

Like, um, dude, it's because that's where you feel at home. Your whole life's been like that.

And I, yeah, I find it boring.

So like, human beings will always revert. Like, why do you think women that are in abusive relationships and get the shit knocked out of them and raped and like, they go from one abusive relationship to the next abusive relationship to the next, and they never get out of it. Yeah, because they never work to give anything else. I work, I got a wife, so they all—

I gotta— I go to nice dinners and shit, bro.

They all revert— they, they revert back to what they know because what they know is home and they know how to handle it. And that's what, in my opinion— no, Your Honor, reverting to what—

but I'll go and function, like I'll just go sit there and like smile and ask my wife how she's doing? Hey, wife, tell me about— fuck, tell me about— tell me about your day. Tell me about your dream. Tell me about the fucking house you clean. You know, like, I sit there and I smile and I listen to it. But like, yeah, dude, you know, it is like, you fucking know how it goes. But, uh, yeah, so long story short, I, uh, get arrested. I hit these guys. I went to— and then I got— I went to, uh, I was going through court. I was fined 2 felony GBIs, which way over time, maybe they overcharged me. So I, uh, had to get a bail bondsman. So I had to— I took a short notice fight on South Africa— in South Africa— and King of the Cage to pay my bail bondsman. I got done fighting. I, I— the court case got done 2 years later. I'm like 22 years old. My life fucking continues to suck. I'm so fucking broke. I'm still riding a bike to the gym. I walk into— like, I walk into recruiters again and they say, hey, I don't know how high school— is this thing still available?

Able?

They said, yeah. And I said, but I've been arrested now. Now I've been arrested, uh, and they're like, what'd you get charged for? And I was like, well, I got charged with two, uh, assault and battery with a deadly weapon. And the guys just fucking laughed at me and said, get the fuck out of here. Like, they don't— military is real complicated with like assault charges. It's a, it's kind of a big no-no apparently. So they just laugh, which is weird because like, you know, you want people like— but then I realized they don't want people like me because like people like me are liabilities. You know, like they want— like, you're the best candidate. Great household, you could be molded. You, you have like a, you know, you could be molded. Like, you have an inclination for violence. Like, you're the best candidate for the military. Not me, dude. I'm like the guy that goes like fucking— I'm like the guy to do some horrible act. I'm like, oh yeah, this is the fucking guy, he did this horrible act, now he's in fucking jail because he's a fucking retard. But, uh, so yeah, after that, then I was like, well, I guess I'm a fighter now.

And then I got signed to UFC, and then The rest is history. Just kept fighting and the rest is history.

Dude, how long was your dad in the picture?

So my dad was in the picture for— me and my mom had like a pretty close relationship. Now not so much. I still love my mom, but I kind of look back like now when I talk to her, just kind of puts me in a bad fucking mood. I still love my mom, but I don't blame her. You know, it's like we're all just products of our, you know, the sins of our father, as they— as you would say. He was in the picture for He was in the picture till I was about 17. My mom, I woke up, obviously was trained full-time fire at the time. My mom was trying to go for work. My dad like had her locked up in the bedroom and, you know, saying, hey, you fucking, you're banging your boss, you can't leave. So I'm like 17 years old, I go walk in and I just beat the fuck out of him. My mom leaves.

Is that the first time you did that?

Yeah, first time did that. It was like, it was the most depressing thing ever, you know, it's Be like, man, you really, he's like laying on the floor bloody with a broken nose. Like, bro, you really like, you were my boogeyman all night, all my entire life, dude. You were the one that like fucking ruined my life and you're just a pathetic fucking piece of shit. But, um, he, he kind of changed. So for the younger, for the younger guys, there was like an opioid epidemic. It's way less now, but like they were just giving it out like during the Afghanistan time. Right. They were just giving out, they were just giving everybody out fucking opioids. So, uh, that was like the biggest change in my dad with the opioids. Like, I remember I walked home and he's just like fucking snorting Vicodin on the kitchen counter. I was like 8th grade. So once that, once about 7th grade, he's 7th, 8th grade when he started. It's kind of ironic because the opioid epidemic happened right by Afghanistan. I'm not being conspiracy, but it's kind of like the timeline of it's very fucking strange, right?

So he, uh, once you get— once the opioids, the soul, his soul just vanished. Just a weak fucking man. Like, opioids are like— opioids are like— I mean, if there was a Satan, it's opioids. Like, it takes fucking everything from your identity, which for his case is probably better. So yeah, then my mom moved out. I lived in my mom's apartment. I, you know, I'd go sleep in my brother's house, go sleep on couches. I just couldn't do the fucking poor man racket until, you know, I made more money. But, um, my dad died of cancer, and, uh, I remember like, uh, he was doing hospice at my brother's house, and, uh, I think I was, I was, I was like, I don't know, probably like early 20s, and, uh I don't even know why or what I wanted to do with it. I wasn't going to post it. I wasn't going to post it. But my brother's like crying in the corner. My dad's laying there fucking dead of cancer. He had so much cancer that the doctor was like, how did you not know that you had so much cancer? Like, how did you not know something was wrong with you?

And you were so fucked up on opioids, you didn't know. So that's always a funny story, dude. My dad one day Somebody— people always like, oh, Sean got sexually assaulted. And I never fight it because like so many people have had it happen to you. And it's like, no, fuck you, dude. Even if that happened, it doesn't fucking matter. Like, you're a piece of shit. Don't bring it up. But one day my dad comes up to me as he's dying of cancer, like it's come to Jesus moment. And he goes, Sean, you know, I was really bad to you and your mom and your brother, but I didn't molest you. Like, well, fuck, dude. I guess it could have been worse, man. Thanks for not fucking me, dude. It could have been way worse. So my dad's fucking dead now, laying in cancer in the hospice, and, uh, he's like frail, you know. And I like, snap a picture. I was like, I don't know why, just like, it was a moment of like, this dead body of this piece of shit. Like, there's a part of me that wanted to just like, there was a part of me that just wanted to like, have him in that moment forever.

And I just like, my brother got so— he's like, my brother's crying in the corner. He's like, that's a piece of shit. Fuck him. What are you doing? He's like, why'd you take it? And they got me, we got emailed. I was like, fine, I'll fucking delete it. But there was a part of me that was just like, looking at his dead fucking body, I was like, I just want to savor this moment. You know, I just want to like have this in my phone and just like, so I could like look back on it. Not as like now, I'd look back very differently, but So yeah, that was, that's pretty much it.

How do you look back at it now? Is it different?

Nah, sins of the father, you know. It's, um, it's alcohol, man. I tell anybody, like, it's, it's a, it's, it's wild that alcohol is legal in America. Like, I'm a libertarian. I think you should go buy meth if you want to buy meth. But man, it is so fucking wild. I don't, I never drank. One of the things that saved me from not drinking and doing drugs was my grandfather was so racist and like, and like even American History X, you know, they would like, there's a scene where they get mad at them for doing drugs. So I always thought that like drinking and drugs, well, one, it reminded me of my dad, which I hated. And then it was reinforced by like, I thought the drugs were for Black people, so I never did it. Wow. Yeah. So that was like my racism. I always say like, I always say that if there was a devil, if there was a devil, man, he's fucking, he's always helped me through life. You know, like it was never God, like the devil on my shoulder, always like all the worst and wrong thing I could do.

But like, if there was a— if there was a devil, like when I was a kid, it was the only thing that kept me going, you know?

Damn, dude, that's some dark shit.

Well, I mean, I'm not religious, but it's like, it's true. Like that little devil inside you that like, that hardens you and makes you prepared for life and like makes you like a psychopath, like like he was always there with me.

But, uh, do you ever think about what happens when you die?

No, man, not in the hell. I like my thing with the Bible, dude. It's just like, it's just so hard for me to think that like this small little region figured it out. And like, you know, then you have like the, the Jews had the original, and then them, and then the Christians came and they're like, no, this is it. And then the Muslims came, like, this is it. It's like, and they have a whole rest of the world. I, I don't— I do believe in like creative design. Like, you can't look at existence and be like— like, I can't look at this and be like— and maybe this is my brain, can't fathom that— I can't look at this and be like, this is all just random. So I do believe in creative design, like intelligent design. But after that, dude, I don't know.

You don't think about what happens after you die? You've never thought about it?

I mean, I try not to, you know, like what happens when you do? I mean, it could just be a black screen.

That would be the worst. Well, actually, that wouldn't be the worst. But, but you say that, but it's like you say that, but like you wouldn't know.

But it also like a moment of peace, like you're just at peace, like you don't exist anymore. You know, it's like no pain, like you're good. You're just—

so are you atheist?

No, I'm just like an agnostic. I don't know, but like there is something like poetic about like not existing anymore, you know? It's like, like everyone's like, reincarnate, reincarnation. Like, I would fucking hate that. What if I get reincarnated in my own life again? I don't want to go through that shit again, dude. Fuck that. Look, I don't want— don't fucking reincarnate me, dude. Throw me in whatever fucking hole you pulled me out of. But, uh, yeah, I don't know, man. I just Yeah, I don't know.

I just—

yeah, what do you— I mean, like, when you— how do you wrap your head around all the theologies and like the Eastern European and like, or like the, the, the, the East religions? And like, there's so many fucking different.

And like, I don't, I don't, I just go off my own experiences. Yeah, if that makes sense, you know. And, and, uh, I'm no theologian. I'm not gonna pump you full of scripture or anything like that, but I've just had too many things happen, man, that like— that I have the same questions, not to the degree that you do. Like, if there is a God, why am I going through this right now? But I mean, I have this— I've seen shit, you know what I mean? And not in childhood, but in war, and like done things and experienced things. And I mean, I should be Ted 10 times over by now. Like, I tried to kill myself in my garage And, uh, like, I just reclined the seat back and left the car running and woke up in my room. The whole house smelled like exhaust. I thought it was gasoline. I'm like, what the fuck is this?

How old were you?

It was after the agency, so probably low to mid-30s.

Yeah, you're just like, I'm fucking— I'm empty.

I just Well, just like you're talking about, dude. Like, I just— I had nothing.

Yeah. Like, you start thinking like, but you start thinking like, like, nothing is better than what I have now. You know, it's like, I just like, if I don't like— yeah, I might be dead, but like, I shouldn't be here.

You know what I mean? Like, I shouldn't be here. I went down there and my— it was— it got so hot because I closed the garage. You know, I'd done the thing, dude. In my—

my— the—

it had melted a hole into the gas tank.

How long were you thinking about before you did it?

I don't know.

No, I'm saying like, so like, how long was I thinking about committing suicide?

I mean, I always thought about it, but I never really like went very far. I wasn't like, this is how I'm gonna do it. I was—

why?

I get faced at the Blue Martini in Boca Raton, Florida, blacked out drunk. Don't know how I got home. No, don't remember doing it. Don't remember anything. And I mean, thank God it didn't happen. Yeah, but look, I—

it's always been in the back of your mind for a while, and you're just— you finally fucked up enough to do it. Yeah, do the deed.

Yeah, I did the thing. Yeah, and I'm still here, you know. Now I've had like a lot of stuff happen, dude.

I mean, yeah, you get fucking shot and bombs bomb. Yeah, of course, bro.

Not that, not that. That's not like this. That's not like this to me. That was combat. This was something woke my ass up that I don't remember, took me out of that fucking garage, brought me upstairs. And even when I went inside, dude, I went inside, I— and I, uh, like, when I woke up, the whole house smelled like gas and like exhaust. Came down, saw the pistol on my couch. The pistol that I don't carry. So I got in the safe, it was a big gal, it was like a .45, and I was like, I never— I don't— I'm broke, I don't have— I don't shoot my .45, you know what I mean? .45 ammo is expensive. And I'm like, oh, so all my clothes are off. So I went and got a gun to blow my brains out. Something had told me not to do that. Then I'm like, what is this fucking smell, man? Is the neighbor's gas on? Or like, what is happening?

Running.

And I went and I touched the garage door, like the door that goes out to the garage. The door was hot. And I was like, oh, I think I hear my car running. And so I'm like, maybe something's on fire. So maybe if I open the door, like, it'll, you know, the oxygen will hit, it'll blow me to smithereens. So then I tried to kill myself the next morning. I didn't try to kill myself, but I was like, well, if it happens, great. Open the door, nothing happens. I see my car running, I look The seat is totally reclined back and the gas is dripping onto the muffler. The muffler is on fire. And I'm like, holy shit. So, I mean, I'm still drunk and drugged out on painkillers and ox— like all of it, you know? And I'm like, so I'm not thinking straight now. I know, like, the dash on this wouldn't trigger anything. I'm like, if I hit the garage door, is it going to spark? Ignite this whole place? And, uh, so I hit it, the garage door goes up, and I like pulled my car out immediately, and I'm like, holy shit, dude, I fucking tried to kill myself like 3 times in a row here.

And, uh, there's been like a lot of like weird, uh, just weird coincidences that have happened to me that— that— and one of them is, I mean, what I— I thank God like entered my life and was like, hey, fuck it.

But it's kind of crazy, right? Like, I'm looking at— as an agnostic, man, Man, like, I mean, you're probably one of the most influential people right now in like the space, you know?

Well, dude, I mean, do you ever think about why you're here?

I don't know, man.

What are you passionate about? Do you help anybody?

Well, that's funny. I was actually going to lead to that. But back to like this suicide thing, there's a point in my life where I could think about it 24/7. Couldn't stop thinking about it. Could not stop thinking about it. Driving on the highway thinking about it, just like you start like really like making peace with the idea that like what is better— whatever happens is better than now. Yeah, you know, like whatever happens is better than now. That was even when I was in the UFC, just like I used to fucking do— I just have to hurt myself to go to bed at night. Like, um, like I couldn't sleep. I just lay in bed, I couldn't sleep, so I'd go and buy like a, like candle. I leave it by my bed and just like hover my hand over the candle just to burn myself. I couldn't sleep. Like, the only thing that could help me sleep was if I was like, if I hurt myself. Or I'd like, I'd try a shock machine, but it wasn't really enough. It'd just lock you up. But like, uh, yeah, I could just like, yeah, no, I mean, but the key is sobriety, right?

So like, what people don't realize, it doesn't matter how fucked up you are, sobriety is like what keeps you from going over the edge. Because like, think about— you said I was fucking partying, I got home. Sobriety is like when you're fucked up and you start lowering that inhibition wall. If I drank, dude, oh, I would— I'd be fucking dead or in prison. Because like, once that— once that inhibition— that's what drinking does, it lowers your inhibition. And so now you're just like, oh, I'm down to do anything. I mean, I can't even do it. I can't even own a revolver. Like, just like I have one little .22 revolver that I don't fuck with because I can't stop. Every time I pick it up, I can't stop thinking about killing myself. So I was, uh, you should probably get rid of that. Yeah, I mean, I just, it's like DuckTales, little fuck. It's like a little shitty one. So it's funny. Um, like, uh, when I was younger, dude, I had the girl save my life. Stay inside every fucking night. 38. I'm just fucking around. Spinning it. You know, I'm like, in my brain, I'm just talking to her, you know, fucking girl named Jackie.

Saved my life, Jackie. Thank you. Spinning it. I put a round in it. I'm just like talking to her and I'm just like hyperfixating on like playing Russian roulette. I'm like spinning it, spinning it. And I put it in and I'm like, I still even to this day, dude, it gives me fucking chills. It gives me fucking chills. So I like, I put the round in it, I spin it. I'm just like talking to her. I was like, dude, we should— I should do it. And she's like, Sean, no, don't do it, don't do it. And I was like, no, I mean, like, what are the odds? Like 1 in 6? Like, that's good odds. I take those odds, right? So I fucking put the gun to my head and I'm like sitting there and I don't have it— I don't have it cocked yet. It was a double action, but I know it was a double single action revolver. And then like, I'm like, I'm working myself up to I'm working myself up to it. I'm gonna fucking do it. I'm gonna fucking do it. I'm gonna be a fucking pussy. Like, even though I'm having a conversation with her, like, in my heart, like, I have, like, I have every bit of, like, adrenaline and dopamine just being fucking saturated in my brain right now, and I fucking love it, right?

Because it's like, you know, you can say you're addicted to adrenaline. Like, you just have these, like, chemicals just saturating your fucking brain. And I fucking, like, cock it back, dude, and she starts fucking and crying, grabs gun out of my hand, says, 'John, don't fuck with me. If you do, I'll leave you.' And, uh, and I'm like, 'Let's just see what would happen.' Open it up. I was about to shoot myself in the fucking head.

Shit, dude.

Shit. Yeah, literally saved my life, dude. Saved my fucking life. But like, I don't know why, when I'm around revolvers, I can't stop thinking about it. I dwell on it. Like, I'm around revolvers, it's like a game I never finished. So if I have a— if I have a revolver, I just like— it's a game I never finished. Death wish. There's a part of me that just wants— I want one pull. I just want one fucking pull, just one, just one pull. I just want to see what it feels like.

That's riding the line. I mean, dude, I had a death wish for a long time. We just talked about Colombia. Totally. I 100% wanted to die down there. I didn't want to die. I always thought it would be great if I die in combat.

It's adrenaline. It's just the adrenaline. Like, I think what it is when you go through so much trauma and like, regardless of the fact of how well adjusted you are, when you're living at such a high baseline, everything else is just like, it's not enough. Like when you're just going through life, like I'm a fucking dead body, right? I'm like, I'm a human meat bag just existing in fucking this earth right now. Like I would do anything to like feel that pull the trigger. Like it makes you want to cry because I love it. Like I would do anything. I just want to feel that, like I want to feel that again, you know? But, but again, the same thing with you. It's like you're at such a high baseline that like you at level, it's just, it's so fucking— you're just existing. But going back to like purpose, when I'm done fighting, that's what I want to do. Like when you help people, it's a different kind of feeling. Like when you actually— not like, not like these stupid fucking influencers, like, here's a bag of money, homeless man. Like that, that's not helping people.

Like you're just, you're doing this for like— when you do a good deed and nobody knows about it, dude, it like, like that little soul we were talking about earlier that you chipped away at, that you like, that you, that you fucking snuffed out. Every time you do like this random good deed that nobody knows about, like you just feel like It's like, it's like the engine's being fucking trying to turn over again. So when I'm done, that's kind of what I want to do. Just like get in that kind of space, whether any kind of like self-help base, just like kids, anything. I mean, disaster relief, anything. So I want to make enough money to where like I don't need money and then live modestly and then just kind of focus on something like that. Just because it's the only thing that like makes me feel like I fucking, you know, it's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm not going to want to eat a bullet when I'm done.

Well, it's funny you mentioned that because, I mean, we're talking about God and, you know what I mean, agnostic and all these things. And I mean, and, and why would God allow, you know, you to go through that as a kid? Well, dude, look at what you're talking about, man, and look how influential you are now. Like, you have like every fucking kid in, in the country, anybody who watches MMA, affiliated with MMA, Dude, they all look up to you, man. All these kids look up to you. Well, we just went over— the sad thing is, hear me out though, and, and we just went over how many kids experience this shit and they have nobody to look up to. And you're the fucking guy.

I think it's 1 in 4.

You're the guy who made it out of that. Look at what you made out of yourself.

Yeah.

And so whenever you do decide to get involved, hopefully, you know, I mean, with whatever you want to do, but let's say you go down that avenue and you start Dude, you're a huge influence to kids that are going through that, and they fucking see you, dude, and then they know there's a way out. Yeah, whereas you didn't know there was a way out, man. Well, now these kids can look at you and they can say, holy shit, like, that dude went through that. Maybe it was worse than what I went through, and if he went through that, then I could fucking get out of this. And that's how God works, dude. That's how he works.

You may, you make a good— but you know, man, like, I don't know about God or that. I just know that like when you, when you help somebody, feels good, doesn't it? It's a, it's a, it's a different kind of peace that you don't get from sex, from violence. Like it, it's like, it's a feeling that you get that feels real. Like every time you have like sex or violence, it's a drug. It's a fucking drug. You're— but when you do something good, it's like a different kind of feeling, man. It's like it's, it's, it's fucking real. I don't know what it is, but it's like real.

It's God, bro. I don't know about that, but either way, man, so you're not open to it. You got to be open to it to feel it, to let it in.

Yeah, but I mean, my thing is though, like the whole like Christian God, you know, like I'm not saying it's not a God and there isn't a God, but like it's so hard for me to buy into like the Bible, dude. Dude, like, and then like the Old fucking Testament, the fucking Quran, like fucking the fucking Judaism, like, you know, like, oh yeah, cut the foreskin off, don't eat fucking pork, dude, send the fucking she bears.

Like, have you dove into it or are you just reading shit online? I am really—

I will say, dude, if I had to pick religion, I am like— and I say this, I'm not like all talk about God and Christ— I am like, I think that America is like a religion of Christ. Not only is it a religion of Christ, like Christianity built America, like different sects of Christianity, but like the New Testament Christ, like everything, like one of the greatest figures of America. Like it is a beacon of around America. And I think that one of the biggest issues we have is we're going away from that. Me, someone who grew up in an atheist, you know, atheist, like one of the biggest issues, like we're losing our heritage, like Christianity, Christmas, the New Testament, like that's the heritage of America. And it's just like, no, But I also like, I think that they're actively trying to like erode America from within, like the illegal immigration. Like it's kind of funny. So I wore an ICE hat. I'm like super pro ICE. The only one thing Trump fucking did right. And I was talking to somebody at the, like the PI, you know, super liberal, very sweet, sweet woman. And I was like, well, let me tell you about illegal immigration.

Soon. Like, there's two coins of that. Me as a white man who invests money, I love it. Like, I love— like, as a Republican white man who invests and like plan to make a living off investments, I love illegal immigration. Why do I love illegal immigration? Like, I, I honestly— you're right, I should probably vote fucking Democrat, I'll make more money. They come here, they must work. They lower wages for like every blue collar. They come here, they lower wages. They must be housed. I need a— I need tax write-offs. I have to go buy some, uh, this year I gotta buy a couple, uh, duplexes. So guess what? I need people to rent them. They're gonna— they're gonna cost— they're gonna make the— the cost of housing go up. More people need housing now, so I'm gonna make more money. Guess what? These people come here, they gotta buy shit. They gotta buy Apples, they gotta buy cell phones, they need fucking fuel, they need to buy some of America's biggest companies. Well, guess what? I own some of America's biggest companies. I make a fuck ton of money with illegal immigration. But what doesn't help is your kids.

Your kids now, they're competing with people that would do more for less. They're competing with people that want to live next to you. They're saturating the workforce. Illegal immigration is making your life significantly harder. And you've been sold this bill of like, no, but Republicans, and mind you, George Bush was Republicans are the biggest fucking advocates of illegal immigration. Like, they— you make up— you make more money. You make more money. It's like, this is why there's such a massive wealth transfer, transferring, because you just make more money with illegals. So anyways, you go and you explain this, like, you're— you, you are making your life for your children significantly harder by voting for open borders. But like, the liberal, they just can't grasp it. They just can't, like, they're so programmed to think that like Trump is bad, like enforcement of borders are bad, like you just can't separate them. But I think it's also been like an active like campaign to do it, you know.

Well, it started off with erasing Christianity and now we're talking about illegal immigration. But, um, I mean, I don't disagree with you. I think they're trying to erase it because it's a value system that they want destroyed. I think that's what all the alien shit is.

But also too, like, I mean, I hope your audience is aware, like, illegal immigration is only good for rich people. If you are blue collar, if you are like the average working man, illegal immigration is a way to devalue your life. And if you're rich, you only make money off of it. It's a way to transfer wealth from bottom to top.

I see what you're saying. I mean, I've never really thought of it that way, but even legal immigration, you know what I mean, the H-1B visas and all that kind of stuff, which I'm not against.

Yeah, but back to Christianity. I don't know, man.

Because I think that we should steal the best in class from everyone and bring them here. But when you get— you know what I mean? With H-1B visas, when you bring really smart tech people from India in, I mean, that destroys the chances of people here.

Yeah. I mean, within reason, it should be balanced within reason. You should take the best in the world. But yeah, no, but yeah, back to Christianity, like in vets and training. Sorry guys, getting a little fucking ADHD, the CT. I got to go do the, what's the drug? The Abigail. I got to start doing Abigail. Right. No, but this is why I like training with vets. I tell them, you guys got to train like, like I obviously have a lot of friends that are vets. Like, you just got to train, man. Life's so much better in the gym. You're around.

What do you think? Who do you think you would help? Like, when you're all done wrapped up with this, I could literally do anything.

I don't care. I could fucking— I could go help people rebuild a house. I could go help kids and I could, I could do anything. I just want to be in a position to where like I could give back. Right. So it's like, I just don't find like, say I were to go start a brand or company or something and I just start, I don't find enjoyment in that. Like, I don't want to go sell fucking an energy drink. I don't want to go like sell nicotine. I mean, I might do that, but it's like I just do that for fun of it. But I just like, there's no fulfillment in that. What I want to do is like, whether it be like disaster relief, helping kids in need, like inner cities. Like, I, I just, I feel like it's my duty to give back. And also too, like, I mean, I have so much like love from fans. Like, you know, I have like a different relationship with fans than most people do. Do. Like, um, like even like NFL players, like, or other UFC fighters, like me and my fans, like we have like a very like close relationship.

Like, so I feel like the least I can do is just give back. You guys make me a paycheck. You want— you buy fights, like you work your fucking ass off to support me. If I sell product, you fucking buy my product. Like the least I could fucking do is like, hey, I'm rich now, at least I could give back a little bit. So that's kind of what I want to do. I don't know what it is, but something—

funny thing is you want to give back because you like the feeling it gives you. It's not because of the fans, bro. It's because of the fucking peace that it brings you.

Yeah.

And the— but I just feel like it's a legacy feeling.

It's like nothing comes with that. It's like, it's just like, it feels like it's some— but it's like, this is the issue with the world though, man. Like, nobody like gives a fuck anymore. Like, everybody is so fucking selfish and self-centered that it's like— and mind you, it's hard life and kids, but like nobody gives a fuck anymore. It's just everybody is just like a dog-eat-dog world. Like, church is becoming less— no one gives a fuck anymore. Like, even when like Charlie Kirk died, dude, and this is how fucked up I got— like, a lot of people related to me, but a lot not. I remember watching him fucking get smoked and I was like, damn, that was fucking crazy. Like, my initial reaction was like, damn, like, oh shit. Like, it was exciting. And then I think I said it like, man, I'm so morally bankrupt that I watched this guy die and I thought it was like the coolest fuck. Made my fucking day. Highlight of my day. You're like, oh shit, you know? And a lot of people had that same, and I agree. I think Charlie Kirk is a fucking hero.

It saddens me as like I look back and sad at me, but I think I made, I think I made a joke right after he died. I think I said like, well, as I always say, the best way to vote is with a rifle, you know? But I, I like, but then I laughed and I looked back at it like, dude, you were so morally bankrupt that like you just watched a guy get fucking smoked on stage and your first instinct was like, oh, that was fucking cool. I wanna watch it. And, and we all look at it like, oh, same. It's like the George Carlin card, like Bad News. We all fucking love that shit. We love bad news. There are some people that watch it and like horrified and like, oh, that's a fucking terrible terrible thing. But like, I bet a massive percentage of this world, or Americans, watch that and their instinct, they got a little adrenaline, like, oh shit, oh shit, not, oh, that's so sad. Yeah, dude, America, just like, you're so— we're so like morally fucking bankrupt now. And I think a lot of it happened— how old are you?

43. So I think a lot of it was like the wars in the Middle East. And you see a lot of it with, uh, like, and I will, like, I don't want to be the guy like, video games caused it. But when video games intertwined with the military, it created a very different breed of people, right? So like, you're older than me, so you didn't really, you've probably seen it, but you didn't experience it. Like, video games intertwined with the military. And you had like, I mean, like Call of Duty where like all day long you're fucking a little kid and you're just fucking shooting people. Grand Theft Auto. And everyone's like, oh, like you can't blame video games. Like, how do you think it is when little kids now are spending fucking 5 hours of their day shooting people in the fucking head, playing Grand Theft Auto, beating up hookers? Like there's been like a psyop to slowly fuck people up and desensitize people. Like, Americans are so fucking corrupt and morally bankrupt now. It's like, I don't even know how you fix it.

It's everything, man. It's— but that's, that's, you know, that's how evil works. It's Hollywood. It's the LGBTQ agenda in kids. It, you know, and how Hollywood portrayed that and how you can't have a legitimate acting career in Hollywood unless you're willing to do a homosexual scene or a lesbian scene. Or, or promote those type of initiatives. It's social media, it's watching people, you know, that, that you know personally would never, would never go for this shit, and then the next week they're promoting it, and then the next week they're the host of a big show.

I had—

I don't know, it's like, oh, I wonder what— how that happened. But I mean, it's, it's— the thing is, it's the porn industry.

OnlyFans hit me up this the sponsor match, want to go fuck themselves.

It's all—

I considered it, but I was like, I don't give a fuck how much money— no amount of money you'd— no amount of money in the world you can offer me that I would fucking do that. You could offer me fucking $10, $15 million.

OnlyFans offered you a sponsorship? Yeah.

And I said, there's no amount of money in the world you could offer me where I'd say yes.

And like, that's what I fucking love about you, man.

You're like, you just, you know, I got a gambling company that wants to sponsor me, and like a lot of money too, where I like, I'm conflicted, but then I'm always like, but then a part of me where I'm like, dude, they fucking like sports gambling is the UFC, people fucking gamble, but part of me feels like it's wrong, but I'm like, it's part of the UFC. Yeah, fuck it, I might do it. But, um, I mean, when you watch Charlie Kirk get smoked, what would you remember? Your like gut reaction?

My gut reaction was, have you met him? No, I never met him. My gut reaction was, he's not going to survive that.

Yeah, but like I'm saying, when you watch it, were you like, oh shit, or you just like, what was it? What was your emotional state? Your baseline?

Was it like a pissed? I was pissed. My initial thought was there's no way he's going to survive that. Seen people get shot in the neck. Yeah, obviously, you know, hit the jugular. And then my other reaction was who did it, who's— I immediately started thinking like, who did this?

Yeah, it was crazy. The amount of like, the amount of influence he had over people was fucking wild. I remember like weeks after, I mean, people were finding God. Like it was a, it was a different— yeah, I was watching from like a very like neutral perspective. Like I was watching it from like a very neutral standpoint. Like a part of me was like, this is fucking crazy. Crazy. Like, I kind of question the sanity of Americans. And I say that, and I say that like, again, I, I love Charlie. Everything Charlie says, even towards the end with Israel, like, the only thing that I— he fucked me off on was like in the beginning when he was a super Zionist. But as he started moving away from being a Zionist, like, man, dude, me and you, everything you say I agree with now. But like watching people's reactions to me was kind of fucking nuts. Like, I mean, motherfuckers were finding God. Like, people started changing their whole identity around Charlie. They— like, his reels were everywhere. I'm like, yeah, just like, I don't know, I just can't wrap my head around it. I was like, it's just so strange to me that, like, people are that influential, like, that people could be influenced so much.

I think what's going on, man, because there's a huge revival happening in Christianity right now. Massive, massive. Yeah.

Again, I advocate for Christianity all the time. I tell people when I fight, I talk about Christianity. If you could wake up tomorrow and become a Christian, I like, I wish you the best. And like, we need more of that.

Well, what's happening is there's just nothing that makes sense in the world anymore. Like, how do you make sense of anything that's going on with this administration? How do you make sense of anything that's going on with the last year? I know, I mean, it's like, what? And, and honestly, though, go into that, but I don't— that's what, that's what the only thing that makes sense is in the book.

I don't blame them for banning me because some asshole would have put a fucking camera in front of my face and me, I would have been like that little voice popping my head, guys, I'm just here, I'm not fucking kids, like, I'm just fucking here watching fights. So I don't—

I think it's absolutely absurd that you got banned from Trump's 80th party. I mean, America's 250, that was celebrated on Trump's 80th birthday party, 20 days before America's 250. Yeah. So, uh, what a fucking bunch of bullshit.

After the fight, it's actually on video. I was like, Hunter, dude, like, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna go to the fight. So yeah, we'll get it done. I'm like, sweet, man, let's go. Because like, to me, I could like separate politics and people. Like, like, I, I've met Trump. He's a nice fucking guy. He's sincere with his actions. He like, he asks you a question and, you know, maybe it's just years of like being Trump. But if you meet him, you will like him. He is a nice fucking guy. He will ask you questions sincerely. Again, you've met Trump, dude. I mean, it was that year. Did you get that shake?

That's very charismatic guy. Yeah. Yeah, I did like him. I don't anymore.

But like, even like, but even me, like, I just understand, like, I don't I don't really hate people. Like, I, I don't hate people in a sense. Like, um, so like after, uh, after Charlie died, like you said, I want to find that guy whoever did that. And like you had this thing of like hate, like, and it's so natural, right? You're seeing this beloved guy, a family guy, die. But like maybe it's because I'm so like disconnected to things, like I just don't, like, I just don't have it in me. Like, I mean, I could go do a horrible act and like not hate, but it's like— so what I mean by that about like hating people, I just— my buddy saw I was online. I was— maybe it's because I'm so disconnected. I just, I just don't, dude. I just don't. Like, there's nobody I've met as of now that I hate or I dislike. Like, you take some weird fucking tranny that like cuts his dick off and like like, like, I think you're fucking mentally ill. I think you're fucked up. I think that you are an enemy of America. I think that you are a bad guy for America.

But I don't fucking—

I don't hate you, dude. A lot of them grew up like you.

Yeah, I brought one on here, like, I just—

I wanted to understand. I brought Chris Beck.

Did he retransition back?

Yeah, yeah. And I— so I brought him on because, I mean, obviously he's been ostracized from the SEAL Teams, but I'm— I, I was like Like, I've always been kind of infatuated, like, how can somebody, like, do this to themselves? Like, how does it work? Like, what, what's in the— what's going on mentally? What's, what's the psychology behind this shit? And he grew up like you did, and he was the whipping boy of the family. He got sexually molested. He was— got the shit beat out of him every single fucking day. Became a SEAL, left the SEAL Teams, riding with the Hells Angels. Trying to get like totally fucking baked on coke and every other drug you can think of. And he— so he wanted to get better. He started going to therapy.

Does he believe in Christ now? Is he Christian now?

He is.

Yeah.

And people, when they brought— when he brought it up, when he brought it up in therapy, once I told you, always goes back to childhood, right? And he had mentioned in the therapy section that— in the therapy session that that when he was a kid, he would go up to the attic and put on his sister's dress and skip. And he was like really secretive about it. He didn't want anybody to see. He'd put on the dress and look at himself in the mirror. And the psychologist or psychiatrist, whichever it was, uh, convinced him that he wanted to be a woman.

No shit.

And, and had him write the book The Warrior Princess. And while he was baked out on coke and all the other drugs, had him sign the rights to the book over to her. And he didn't want to go through with the book, and she was like, tough shit, buddy, you signed the rights over, I own it, and released it. And when he came on the show, he's like, dude, I never wanted to be a woman. He's like, I never wanted to change. He goes, when I was a kid, he goes, this all got sunk in my head and then I got accepted. The, the, the, the, the LGBTQ community like love bombed me, and I've never felt like that amount of love ever in my life.

I understand that.

And he goes, all I want— all— he goes, the only reason I went up to the attic to put my sister's dress on, he goes, is because I just didn't want to be me. And he goes, that's the only way I could feel that I could escape like those feelings of being molested by the neighbor and being the sh— getting the shit kicked out of me by my fucking dad every single day of my life. And he goes, so I would sneak up there and put that on, and that's the only way that I could pretend that I wasn't me. And when you hear that, it's like—

you see what I'm saying, dude? Like, and I don't— I don't fucking hate these people.

Like, right?

Like, I, I think they're mentally ill and I think they're fucked up, but like, just said, to hate somebody, to me, I just don't have it. Like, I just don't have it in me. Like, if you right now, if you said there's a pedophile vile. I don't hate him. I would, I would take a gun and shoot him in the fucking head, and I'd probably enjoy the act of doing it. But it's like, you're just like, like, I, I just don't really have that much— I don't really have that much hate in me these days. It's just like, it's just, it's over it. So like, when you're talking about like, um, uh, you feel, feel that like people need an identity, you know, like, and him getting love bombed by the LGBT community, like him asserting that identity, you know, like we had an identity, it was Christianity. That was our identity. People would wake up and they would, uh, you know, they would wake up and they'd look at the sun and their identity was, thank you for giving me sun. You know, they would, uh, drink water. They would think that was our identity.

And now you just have like these godless people that just stumbling through the earth with zero identity.

And it's just like, it's engineered, man. It's engineered. It's an agenda.

Yeah, I don't know. But you know, back to the Trump thing, I get why he didn't. I wouldn't have— I would have banned me too. I, I would have banned me too. I just don't have it in me to like just shut the fuck up. Like they would have put a camera in my face. I would have made a joke. Fuck, I would probably made a joke to Trump, dude. Hey, you know what I will say, dude?

Like it's—

it is kind of crazy, dude, how mainstream that— how unpopular Trump is. Because I'll go to places like I'm in Florida, I met a Texas guy, like when we're talking about hardcore Republicans. And even these guys are like, I just, I can't do anymore Trump. I just like, I feel fucking betrayed. And like Trump to me, everyone's like, like I was talking to this like really wealthy guy about like Iran and he was like, ah, fuck it, whatever. I don't care. I'm like, dude, you don't care because like you've, you're fucking a million, you're a multimillionaire. But I was like, dude, you gotta think about like like every other American in Florida, Texas, that are making like— what is the average? Like, I think it's like $50,000, $60,000. So you take somebody making $60,000 and now you add 4% inflation, a metric fuckton of gas, you're adding thousands of dollars a year to their, to their life. Like, you are like crushing families. Like, not me. Me and you, we don't give a fuck. Yeah, that's gonna be $100. We don't give a fuck. But it's like, the people that have voted you, that rallied around you, like, you actively just fucking spit in their fucking face.

For what, dude? And like, when you— I mean, sure, you've been— have you been to a Trump rally?

No.

Oh, dude, it's fucking nuts.

No.

So like, when you're at a Trump rally, you're like, oh, I could definitely see how Hitler happened. Like, I'm not even— I'm not fucking joking to you, dude. When you go to a Trump rally, it makes question the sanity of everybody. Like Trump's up there talking about like, we're going to throw people in jail for burning the flag. And I'm like, I mean, again, you shouldn't do it, but it's like, you know, there is, there is a fucking constitution. I'm looking at Vivek and Vivek is just like fucking like rubbing his head and he gets out and leaves the Trump rally and I'm like, ah, fuck. And everybody else is just fucking full send. Yeah, fuck them, throw them in jail. Like, like if Trump said go grab a gun and go do anything, they would fucking do it. They would fucking do it.

I know it's a cult. It's— and that's another good— that's, that's one of the things about Christianity. You're not supposed to put, you know, you don't, you don't put your faith in man. They will.

That's also what I— that's also fucking time about you. What I have respected you for so much is you were one of the OG thinkers where you're just like, especially in your fucking space, you were one of the OGs. They're like, wait a minute. Like, like, just stop. What are you fucking doing? Like, what the fuck's going on? And not many people did that. Not many people did that. You were one of the— you were— you were one of the biggest voices and opponents to war, you know? It's like, if somebody— like, if you were the complete opposite, you would— you would— you would convince so many people. If right now you came right here and you started talking about like how good it is and we should double down do more, millions of people would listen to you and advocate for it.

Yeah, I can't do it. I can't be chained. And that's what this administration and probably every administration has done, you know. I mean, right when he got in there, I got an invite to— I can't remember— go somewhere. And I was going to get— I could fly on Air Force One with them, and I could go to the White House and fly on Marine One. Ironically, I was going to have to pay for the flight on Marine One, and I was like One, no. Two, I know what the fuck you're doing. You're trying to, like, capture me and put chains on me so that I can never leave you. You want— you want to— you want to make it look like I'm a part of whatever the fuck you have going on. And I am. And I'm an independent thinker. I will never do that. I will never put— I will never willingly put myself in a position where that, that I can appear to be captured by, by a specific movement. Yeah, I am my, I'm my own person. Well, and, and I, I'll never give up that, that freedom.

I always say, like, and I always, like, I have this thought that, like, if you want to see a man's character, see how he acts to a bad guy who's nice. And so what I mean by that is, like, when you meet bad fucking people and they do bad things, they're the first one to shake your hand and like hold the door for you. And like, we're like, character matters and like your foundation matters. If you could stop and be like, wait a minute, like, I don't give a fuck how nice you are to me. Like, you're not gonna— like, you're not gonna get me to— you're not gonna coerce me. Like, you're not gonna fucking sociopath and make me do a bad deed. And so like, with Trump, in a sense, he's kind of like that way, man. I don't— again, And I know Tucker Carlson said that like, uh, he thinks he has like demonic— I don't believe that, like he's demonic. But when you meet him, he's so charismatic and he's so nice that you're like, you almost could overlook— if you like, if you don't have a strong will and a strong character, you could almost— yeah, you could just get sucked in and then like, and you just become part of the machine.

It's, it's so hard when you meet charismatic people like that that are just so fucking good at getting you to lower your guard and be accepted. And I mean, again, go to a Trump rally. But, um, yeah, so I, I don't blame, I don't blame Trump for, for getting me. But man, they were so weird. Even me, like, I get so much hate now from going back to the Navy SEAL thing. Like, you know, when, when I was like pro-MAGA, dude, I had so much, like, so much more love from people who were like, and I don't give a fuck. But the moment I like came out and said, hey man, the, the list is a little fucking weird, weird. Like, and then like, I feel your pain. Like, you know, you're like, like, I'm just asking fucking questions. You're like, well, what do you mean? I'm like, well, dude, let me, let me tell you, that has history that I know. It— Trump reluctantly signed the bill. Like, he reluctantly signed the freedom to, to release the files. Fucking guy has Pam Bondi, who he put in, have his personal lawyer handle all— Todd Blanch have all file releases.

He handles all redactions. Fucking 3— get 3 million documents out of 6 million. And then, and then what happens after that? Uh, he goes and interviews Trump's personal fucking lawyer, goes and interviews Maxwell and says, uh, the only thing she says is he didn't— no involvement, no involvement. The next day, dude, I have a buddy he's a prison guard. He was telling me about the prison she's in. Dude, it's nice. I could go to that fucking prison. They got TVs, got puppies and shit. And it's like, like, how do you guys not— like, how does that not concern— like, how could you not, like, just hear that and be like, huh? Like, I just— like, how do you not, bro? Like, how do you not? And I'm not even saying Trump did it, but I believe that Trump is protecting and hiding powerful fucking people, and he's used the government to do it. And like, I don't give a fuck how you hate me, you cannot give me an explanation for this.

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That's drinkag1.com/srs. I had a conversation with somebody in my family about this, and he's, he's like, well, maybe, maybe he's trying to protect the victims. Did you ever think of that? I said, huh, I'm glad you asked, because funny enough, the only names in the files that were redacted were the abusers.

Yeah, how hard would it be to take a fucking permanent marker and just cross out Stacy's name, Jessica's name? But instead you would— it's like, that's what I'm saying.

He, he's vocalized it, correct? I mean, Marjorie— I think Marjorie Taylor Greene even said, you know, that he had told her, I can't, I can't do this because then these are my friends. Yeah, or something along— allegedly something along—

but they're all that way. Do you, uh, I gotta ask you, bro, Do you believe in the Charlie Kirk— do you accept the narrative that the 30-06? No, you don't?

No, but I don't— I'm not—

you don't know the answer, but you say—

oh, the answer.

So that's where I'm at.

I think anything I say would be—

yeah, I think I'm— I think I'm— I think it's strange. I think it's strange. Like, I went hog hunting, you know, last weekend, and like, you're watching these fucking like AK rounds just rip through hogs, rip through them. I mean, like, 3 200-pound hogs, boom. I think it's strange, but it's like, to me, it's just so— like, I could not fathom getting, like, so much manipulation of information to get the gay tranny guy to agree, to get him to agree to— like, I can't wrap my head around that level of conspiracy.

I mean, there's too many weird things that have happened. I can't name them all, but I mean, one of them, you know, is I mean, they— they— what did they do? They concreted over the site. I mean, it's just— Candace told me that it was done in the middle of a pentagram. And I personally do think that this is all— I think everything now is good versus evil and there is a demonic element.

Oh, 100%.

But I mean, but again, 100% look at some of the rituals and I mean, the stuff that was going on in the Epstein files and it's all ritualistic.

I mean, look at—

look at Alex Human in Sacramento.

Alex infiltrated Bohemian Grove. Like, what are you talking about, dude? Burning effigies? If you ever took a lie detector test— no, you haven't taken a lie detector test? Okay, dude, I fucking— I hate Kash Patel so much. Like, Kash Patel to me is like the weakest fucking man in the world. Fucking— like, you look at Kash Patel and you're like, dude, you are like— you are as weak as fucking dirt. I cannot stand him. So funny, funny enough, uh, I'm curious your take on this. And this is like, so there's this manager, Ali Abaziz, fucking whatever the fuck, one of the biggest managers in the UFC, spoke at Trump rallies, like manages everybody. Let me tell you this guy's fucking backstory. And by the way, he's best friends with Kash Patel, best fucking friends with Kash Patel. So I started thinking about this because, uh All these UFC fighters went and hung out with a bunch of FBI agents. I'm like, why the fuck you didn't call me, guys? Like, I fucking— I love law enforcement. Like, like, I don't— like, why didn't you call me? And I started looking at Oli and all these pictures.

One of the biggest managers in the UFC, this is, this is his accolades after 9/11. It's all in a book. There's a book. It won like the fucking, like, uh, some like fancy award in New York, some liberal fucking award. This is, so it's like, it's a very credible book. He, he gets arrested after 9/11 with a bunch of passports or like IDs or fake documentation. He's locked up on felony charges of like falsifying information. And this happened like weeks after 9/11. This is what I know of it. Don't fucking sue me. This is what I know. And this is what the book says. So He's in a Colorado lockup and then he gets approached by the FBI. They called him, uh, I think he was— they have his, like, they even have his number. Like, this is all factual what I'm saying. They had his, like, uh, his informant number. They have him as a high-paid informant, like, spying on, like, I don't know what organizations, but like some, like, Muslim Brotherhood, something like. And he's traveling here and here and there. And, uh, he gets out, they give him a lie detector test because they suspect him lying.

His nickname was Dolphin because he would talk so much. They suspect him for lying, so they give him a lie detector test and he fails and they let him go. He can't— if he leaves the country, they won't let him back in. Like, I mean, he is like, by all information known, this motherfucker is a snitch terrorist that like, if you look at all pieces of information and he goes and is best friends with fucking Kash Patel, and I'm sure I'm sure he goes to Kash Patel like, hey brother, brother, brother, let me, let me— you want to go meet Khabib? You want to go meet Justin Gaethje? Yeah, go meet Justin Gaethje. And it's like, you just look at these, like, these things, you're like, man, dude, like, the fuck, you guys? Like, what the fuck, dude?

It's par for the course, man. But like, so the country is not well. The president's kids are buying private island— are buying private islands with bunkers. Now, if the country was doing well, why would the president's kids be doing that? I mean, there's just— there's so many— I get painted as a, a, like I'm taking money from Qatar or something. I'm sorry, I'm not the one that took a $400 million jet from Qatar. Maybe you should fucking look— excuse me.

Kind of funny, back to love, dude. Israel, like, loved me at one point. So, like, Israel, I mean, like, I would get I get messages from Israel, like, because they fucking love me. So after October 7th, because I've been like really eating the fucking Zionist propaganda most my life, and it took kind of October 7th to like— and I'm no, like, I'm no, like, fan. Like, I'm not like, I'm not like the Muslim— like, all the Muslim guys I know are generally really fucking cool. Like, I train because, you know, in fighting you train with a lot of them. They're generally really cool. They don't want to come bring fucking Sharia law. They just want to train, get a fucking paycheck and go back to fucking Dagestan, where the fuck they're from. And like, they're generally cool fucking people. So like, my experience with Muslims isn't like the propaganda that they're— that they feed me. Like, I'm assuming that there are a lot of radical fucking Muslims that like want to go blow up shit. I'm assuming that is the case. But like, my experience, I train with them. Hey brother, how you doing? They go back home to their family and they— and That's my experience, right?

I'm sure you might have a different experience. That's my experience.

No, man, I used to hate them. I mean, I used to hate them because of what I did. But that flag right there was given to me by a really good friend of mine who's Muslim. And he was a US— he's a US or American Afghan citizen. And he was Army intelligence. And he's really tied to the resistance that's going on over there right now. Do you know about that? No. So they— so the Taliban has basically assassinated all of our partners, and I mean shot them in the back.

Yeah, we fucking—

we really— and so the resistance is, is kind of like, you know, the free party, you know what I mean? They want free Afghanistan. And so he goes over there and he brought that flag back. He uncovered this, this thing They'll tell you about in a minute, but he brought that flag back. He recovered it from the Taliban burning it in Afghanistan, and he gave it to me on this show. And he wanted, he wanted everybody in America and the world to know that the United States is funding the Taliban in cash, $40 to $87 million in cash a week. And so when you think about that and you think about the Iran War, and what's the narrative on the Iran War? Oh, they've been our enemies for 47 years and they've been killing our people and they equipped the Iraqi insurgents with EFPs and all this. And they did. They are, they are, they did do that. But don't feed me that fucking line of bullshit about we're going after our enemies when your administration is sending $40 to $87 million a fucking week to the Taliban, who we were directly fighting for like, what, fucking 20 years?

So don't paint me that bullshit, you know. That works on the majority of the country because they don't know what's really going on. But don't tell me about this, they've been our enemy for 47 years and you give a shit about our enemy when you're fucking paying our real enemy right there. Yeah, it's, it's everything that they are telling us is a fucking lie.

Because I grew up in the '90s, and after 9/11, I mean, again, you've experienced, you were fucking, you know, like you lived it. But I like Muslim, to me was like the fucking boogeyman. The Muslim is bad, the Muslim's fucking bad. Like, and it were so propagandized. So after October 7th, I was like full saying like Muslim bad, Hamas bad, dude, go in there, get your fucking people back. Like, and like, the Israelis loved it because they're like, yeah, Sean's saying go to fucking war, go get your people back. And, and I, I stand by that, although I think Israel, I think Israel knew about October 7th. Like, I mean, you're talking about a country—

has that been proven?

Yeah, I mean, you're talking about a country that has a smaller border than fucking New Jersey, that is like a, literally a prison, and you're telling me that like you didn't know? Like, you gave people pagers and you put them all over the terrorist organization. You didn't see these people buying paragliders, tractors, welding shit. You fucking knew. You fucking knew. And then you look at their response. It wasn't like a response of like, we're gonna go get our people back.

They go like the satellite images, like it's almost like they needed it to happen so that they can do everything that they're doing right now.

And this is where like, and this is where Israel—

I don't like 9/11.

And this is where, like, and this is where Israel, me, like, and now, now people in Israel fucking hate me. Like, it's funny, you're loved by them, then you're hated because it's like, dude, you made me realize, like, Israel deprogrammed me because I'm watching what you guys did to Gaza and we're not seeing, like, I don't see, when I see a dead body, I don't see a fucking jihadist with an AK. I'm seeing a little girl being pulled out of a fucking building. I see map images of this, like, piece of land that, like, is now a demolition site. Like, you are committing on a very small scale a genocide. You are— you are— or like, one of— they lost me. There was like one of our fucking Zionist leaders, I think maybe it was like Tucker or something, or like he's in an interview. He said, well, what would you do if, uh, what did we do to Hitler? Like, what would we do to the Nazis? Referring to like like, we're having a proportional response to what they're doing. I'm like, well, what you want to do? You want to go over there and fucking murder kids?

Like, we didn't go to fucking World War II. We didn't go fucking murder kids. We liberated them and we rebuilt Germany to one of the most fucking successful countries in the region. That's what we did after World War II. We didn't go flatten everybody and fucking murder kids. Like, don't give me that crazy shit. So like during this, this course of like, I really deprogrammed myself from, from like, from Israel, the Israeli propaganda. And I don't think, like, I'm not a Candace Owens. Like, I don't think there's like a secret like tiny hat room where guys are sitting around a table like, we're gonna overthrow America, we're gonna do this and do that. What people make a mistake on, conspiracies don't— like patterns don't always equal conspiracy.

Places.

There can be a pattern, but just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's like some, like, you know, that there's— just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's some like puppeteer pulling the strings. Like, I want to say this right, and I don't want to seem like— I'm not anti-Semitic. I don't give a fuck if you're a Jew. No, I mean, I don't know, like, everybody says like, oh, Jews this, Jews this. Most Jews I know agree me. Like, my boy Aiden Ross, he would sit here with us, Jewish guy. He's like one of the owners of Kik. He would sit here and agree with everything you're saying. Like, most Jewish people I know, when we have these conversations, they're like, yeah, dude, you're right. I'm not a fucking Zionist. I'm just born a fucking Jew, you know? But like, if you look at— and I'm kind of going deep in a rabbit hole, and I want people to like to understand this because you have people like Candace Owens, and I know she's your friend, But like Candace Owens doesn't do anybody a service. So like Candace Owens, she's so over the top that she's used as a weapon against like thought because you have these, she says all this crazy shit like Charlie Kirk's a time traveler, like blah, blah, blah, blah.

And every now and then she'll sprinkle in truth to what she says. But really all she does is like belittle the movement and water the movement down of what is. What it is, when you want to talk about like the Jewish propaganda or the Israeli propaganda, it is very fucking simple. It is very fucking simple. They only care, like, they only care about Israel. They want Israel to be this nation. There's no, there's no like, there's no force behind them saying that we're going to destroy America. What they advocate for due to the Holocaust, due to them not really having a country, they advocate for things that they believe are right for the world that actively destroy America. So what I mean by that is like you have George Soros. George Soros, when he's advocating for open borders, you need to understand he's coming from a place to where like his people, they had no home. They were kicked out of this, kicked out of that for reasons why, you know, they were kicked out of here. They were kicked out of there. So like when George Soros advocates for this, he is advocating from a place of like, I think this is good for the world.

We should have open borders. We should— you should be able to migrate, which is ironic because fucking Israel is a fucking prison. Go migrate to Israel. Let me know how that goes. But what is good for you is not good for us. But it's like they're not, they're not doing it in like a hatred. Or you take like people often talk about like Nazi Germany. The, like, one of the early founders of, like, transgenderism is— you guys can all fact-check me on this, but it was a Jewish, a Jew guy. He was a, he was a homosexual doctor. And I think that it's also like a, I think it's also like a curse of intelligence, right? Like, like Jewish people have on average have higher IQs. They're just, they're more intelligent. So like generally sometimes like when you look, when you're overly intelligent, you start breaking norms, right? So like when you're really intelligent and you could like fathom like the intricacies of the world and like you start breaking down norms. So like why is gender a male and a female? Like why is it not on a spectrum? Like, you know what I'm saying?

Because you could start really— and like, say you're not religious. You could start making cases for like, well, humanity in 1,000 years, would it not be better if there was no gender? And you could start making these like cases and orchestrating the world that you want to be in.

And this is where you need to get into the Old Testament.

But I'm saying we're coming from a place—

a lot of this stuff is in there where they talk about a genderless God. This shit is all like happened.

I will say, let me, let me tell you one thing, dude. I do find it really odd, the correlation between the, like, Bible and, and, like, what it is now, right? So back to, like, the Jews promoting, you know, promoting this ideology that, like, Hitler hated. So Hitler goes and expels these people. But I, I don't think that, like, I don't think that, like, the George Soros, like, the Jewish elite— the issue is you have such a small population with such a amount of wealth that has way too much power. Like, you're such a small population, you shouldn't have this much control over like millions of people. If you make up like 3% of the world, why do you have so much of a voice? I mean, I'm not saying like no persecution, but like you, you're acting and financing things that people don't agree with. But like going back to, you know, people like, why does the Israel lobby, George Soros, Why are they, you know, one of the first movements of communists, like 5 people were like one of the main, one of the, one of the main people of like the communist movement were like Israeli or Jewish, not Israeli, Jewish.

So what you have is you have people like Candace Owens going and saying there's like this Jewish elite around a table pulling strings, trying to destroy America when that's not the case. You have hyper-intelligent people, hyper-wealthy people, doing what they believe is the right thing to do. The thing they believe is the right thing to do is to have open borders, to have a fluid gender. This is why they go to Hollywood and they push it. There's no, there's no evil strings. This is what they believe in their heart is the right thing to do. And usually if you're hyper-intelligent, you're more liberal. That's just how it works.

I don't know, man. I'm gonna disagree with you on that one. Because one, with Candace, I think Candace is—

I love Candace—

on the right track with a lot of things. There's a lot of things that I'm unsure of that she says.

And, um, okay, let me ask you, hold on, hold on.

And I don't like— you, you are kind of grouping all these Jewish people together.

Well, I'm not, because I have a lot of Jewish friends.

Israelis together. And I don't believe that either. I believe that there is a— the, the, the, the people that are there under right now have an agenda. I think it's been there for a long time, and I think there is definitely 100%—

well, let me explain.

Maybe not to destroy America.

There's two—

they have completely infiltrated American politics through AIPAC, through Hollywood. I mean, but let me ask a lot of things, but why is Hollywood push the Zionist agenda? But why is Hollywood to propagandize the United States with the, with the Zionist agenda? And we've bought off on this for a long time. We've fought a lot of the wars for them. Those are our people. But yes, and so if you think about it, it's actually a genius plan because we but we are the proxy.

Like, okay, let's look back.

Hamas is a proxy. We are the proxy. Who's funding the majority of the war in Iran right now?

Yeah, I get it.

We are.

Who's—

who, who— you know what I'm saying? And that is coming from Zionist influence.

I have questions.

And so there are powerful people in all— I mean, in all these— look who owns all the all the media companies. So, okay, you know, let's unpack.

I got questions, I got questions. Let's unpack. So you say all wars, and by again, let's talk and let's remember, patterns don't always equal conspiracy. Sometimes there's patterns that just happen to align and they're together. So go back to the petrodollar. We had an agreement— when was it, fucking the, the '50s— under one president that we would have a security pact to help, to help, you know, stabilize the region. So what happens? And I believe that this aligned with America. I mean, there was a speech about don't let in the military-industrial complex get involved. I mean, how many, how many politicians take money from the military-industrial complex? 100% of them. 100% of them. So I think that So you have the US agrees, we will stabilize the region, use our US dollar. You buy oil with us, we'll make sure everything's fucking peachy keen. And you could verify, I mean, I'm sure you know more about this world than I do. So Saddam Hussein goes and, you know, goes and does Saddam Hussein. He goes and invades Kuwait. He just got, after just got done a bloody war with Iran, goes and invades Kuwait. And then now the US is like, they're looking at this opportunity of like, okay, we got to go.

This is our job. You use our petrodollar. We need to do this. Now, is it also in the best interest of Israel that Saddam Hussein and the Iraq government was overthrown? 100%. 100%. It is in the best interest of Israel if Saddam Hussein, Iraq, who is not a friend of Iran or Israel, gets overthrown. So you have Israel is 100% lobbying the US government to go fucking do this, but it is also in our interest to go and stabilize a region and become closer with these massive oil distributors and put bases there. You see what I'm saying? Now, mind you, our founding fathers very much warned foreign entanglement, but you have The military-industrial complex is making a lot of money off this. You have Israel, who obviously doesn't like Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and you have them lobbying, making a case and presenting to our leaders, hey, no, we, they, we've agreed to this security agreement. We have the pact. Go over there and stabilize. So we go over there. We— I'm just trying to like, I'm just breaking this down so people understand. So like, you could, you could put fact to conspiracy because sometimes conspiracy, it's like it just puts you down this rabbit hole.

It doesn't make What I'm saying is not a conspiracy. This is true.

Well, no, what I'm saying is true.

$15 or $16 million into a local Kentucky congressional race.

But what I'm saying is true too. The Israeli lobby, the Israeli lobby, the military-industrial complex, the oil industry, all these people all lobbied us to go get involved with Iraq. And we go, we overthrow, we overthrow and we leave. Leave. But what did we do? We left bases in, uh, we left bases in the, the Gulf State, the, uh, you know, the oil-rich companies, countries. And this is just like, I, I need to, I need to talk on facts. We could talk about 9/11 and like the Jews did 9/11, but like that doesn't, that doesn't get us anywhere if we start just talking about conspiracy. All you do is you get down these fucking rabbit holes.

So we go, it's also It's also not a conspiracy that Berenice Adelson pumped $300 million.

Well, I'm getting there. We're getting there. So now we're right after, we're right after the first Iraq invasion. We leave, we, we fucking leave. We leave him in power. We fucking leave. We leave bases all over the Middle East now. Right. And we did it as a security agreement here. We want oil to flow. Here's our bases. You buy this, you strengthen strengthen our dollar. The fucking— the Jew loves it, the Israel loves it because we have bases there, we're stronger. 9/11 happens. They accept the theory for 9/11 is Osama bin Laden and a lot of Saudis, by the way, not just, not just him. I mean, it's pretty obvious that he had help from the Saudi government. Pissed off. He— I mean, he wrote, true or not, he wrote that like, we have bases there. He was pissed off that we're in these holy cities he's want to go, and he's also pissed off because Israel, because we give a fuck ton of money to Israel and we were normalizing relationships with them. So he's pissed off. We have, he has, there's a foreign nation occupying his country. We are giving a metric fuck ton of money to Israel to go, to go, you know, illegal occupation, to go commit genocide, to go create war.

So he goes, and this is just the the theory. We can't talk about conspiracy. We're just talking about what we know. So he goes, you know, gets a bunch of Saudi nationals, flies a building— plane in the building. He says, hey, well, you guys have occupied my place. You give Israel this. This is my way of striking back. So, and this is where like America starts kind of going off the fucking deep end where like it's kind of more harder to like— it's kind of harder now to like put pieces together because weird shit's happening even more now.. So we go and we invade Afghanistan. We go and we invade Afghanistan. We, we, we start fighting the Taliban. You're like, for what? For what? You know, Israel loves it. Israel loves it. We have more bases there. We have more footprint. And then all of a sudden you have the Israeli lobby. And this is where like, and, and this is to me, if you want to identify a point in history when Israel became the known bad guy was the second invasion of Iraq. Because you had— this is where like the fucking mask came off, and you had Bibi on front of everybody saying, no, there's weapons of mass destruction, they have fucking nukes, you guys, like they got, they got chemical weapons, they gassed the Kurds, like, and off that alone we used it.

Hey, you know, the Israelis are saying that, that WMDs, all the intelligence community is saying you have WMDs.

Actually, we went in anyways, and so I brought in this guy, Pete Blaber, who was a colonel, um, at Delta that kind of led the invasion. And we just had this episode, it was 12 hours long.

No shit. Yeah.

And so we— he got— so they asked Delta to do, you know, whatever surveillance, and then they found the WMD factory There's this big air thing on top of a building that is, that's whatever, an air purifier. I can't, I'm having a brain thing right now, but whatever, the big, the air purification system.

Yeah, chemical weapons. So they have that.

And then on the side, they've got, here's a big missile. We see it. We could see it in the imagery. Back then wasn't like it is today. And then they see, you know, the sentry guard that's outside guarding the facility, and they get this out to Delta. And Pete says to him, hey— and if I'm messing any of this up, you can go watch the episode and correct me, but this is the basis— and they have— so they get it to Pete's team over at Delta. And Pete tells whoever sent it, the current administration, we don't want to know anything of what you guys think this is. We're going to analyze it ourselves and we'll get you— we don't want to be influenced with your— with what you have to say. The air purification system on the roof wound up being an air conditioning unit. The missile on the side of the building wound up being a water tank, a big water truck, because they're in the middle of the desert and that's how they get water. They have to bring in the water and pump it in. And the sentry outside of the building was just a guy taking a piss.

And then they sent that intelligence back, totally disregarded it, and a couple of days later Colin Powell is going over exact same imagery and saying that we're going to go invade Iraq.

So again, same thing with the Gulf of Tonkin incident. You have an Israeli lobby, you have a military-industrial complex, and you have rich businessmen that push and push this. So it's like, it's not like there— there is no like group of elites pulling strings. Like, this is like, you have wealthy people that benefit off these things. This is why it happens. It's like, this is why it happens. There's no like— there's no secret cabal pushing this. You have a military-industrial complex likes Boeing. You have Israel. Yeah, fuck Iran. Let's go take this guy out. This is going to be good for us. Take this out. And then it fucking happens. And this is how it happens. And it's not, it's not that they're— the government is compromised on so many fucking levels, from like the military-industrial complex to Israel to lobbyists. Like, the government is so compromised that the only thing that would fix the government is if either like you elected a radical person or a revolution or a violent revolution. There's nothing else that will fix it. It is— they are ticks and they're embedded in Trump and everybody else. I mean, even like, man, even Iran, dude.

I like, I think too, a lot of the new, newer generation, they don't know what it was like to grow up in the '90s. I mean, it was just like we were in fucking— every year of my life we're in war. We're in some war every year of my life. We're in a war. And our, and our grand— and our parents, they just know any better because they didn't have the information that we had. So they would— all they would see in Fox News is like, yeah, Saddam Hussein, he has nukes, he's gonna fucking kill us, or he has chemical weapons, he's gonna kill us. And they didn't have like— they didn't have the information that we have. So like, it's up to like us, push back. And like, this is why you do such a great service, because you're pushing back. But I just don't think it does anybody a service when you start getting in the realm of conspiracy. When you don't need conspiracy to prove a point. It's a military-industrial complex. It's lobbyists. It's Marin Adelson. It's the Israeli AIPAC. They're just— they have infected the government. Like, it's that simple. There's no— like, there's— I think it's a little bit of all of it, but it's a little bit of all—

but I'm not gonna— but when you— once I— once I— once I think I know what it is, or I'm 99% sure I know what it is. Well, like, I quit digging because you throw a speculative narrative out— that's a new term I got the other day— instead of conspiracy theory. Because, because those conspiracy theory is a, is a new idea, you know, and, and I don't think you should necessarily discredit new ideas or speculative narratives. Yeah, but people like James— it doesn't fit a, a certain agenda. Yeah, it's something that should be looked into, and once it's disproven, then you disprove it. You don't just label it.

Yeah, but again, what it is, you're identifying patterns. Like, you're identifying patterns and you're drawing conclusions that aren't, that aren't that. Like, just because things align, there's patterns, it doesn't mean there's like— it doesn't mean there's some puppeteer. There's patterns all over the world, the government, and there's no puppeteer. So like what Candace— what I think she fucks up on, and like we're talking about the big voices, like she's saying there's a puppeteer. You have interests that are aligned together. They like—

well, those are multiple puppeteers.

Yeah, but I mean, they're not really puppeteers because they just want what they want. Israel wants—

that's a puppeteer.

Yeah, but it's like, it's pretty obvious. Like Israel wants to, Israel wants to control Gaza. They want the greater Israel. Like there is no, anytime you ever talk to Israeli and they let their fucking guard down, I'm sure you have, they want the greater Israel, the illegal settlements. They, they like, if you ever talk to someone from Israel and they let their, and a lot of them don't, but if they let their guard down for a second, you're very aware of what they want. Like, have you ever experienced that? I train, I know a lot of Israelis. That's why I'm saying every now and then they'll let their guard down and like, they'll be like, they think they're in a safe place and all of a sudden they let their guard down. Then like, oh damn. Like, yeah, you, you're about that life. You know, you never experienced that?

No.

Uh, but you know, like, but I mean, I mean, I could conclude this thought with like, Candace Owens does such a bad job and she divides so many people. And this is why, like, even me was— I said, like, I, I think that we should question the Charlie Kirk thing. I really do. I think we should always question— you should question everything. But when Candace is going there and like, like saying, like connecting these dots and making these things of like the pager, the this, the that, the that All you're doing is splintering the fact of the matter is the fact of the matter is, is you're just, you're, the fact is that a fucking tranny lost his mind, shot Charlie. There's no Israel conspiracy. There's no Israel lobby. You don't need that conspiracy to say that AIPAC is bad. They don't even need that involvement. AIPAC is bad. AIPAC is bad for America. They lobby.

I understand what you're saying. I mean, you're basically— you're saying that, you know, that what's happening is extremely divisive and it can almost be discrediting. But I think— I think, like I said, I think Candace is on to some things. I don't agree with everything she says. I don't— I don't think I even need to say that. But I do think that, uh, at heart Candace is trying to do the right thing.

And, uh, you think she believes it? You don't think she's doing an Alex Jones skit?

I think that, uh, she's— she was very close with Charlie, and that really hurt her, and that she wants to figure out what the hell this is all about and why certain things don't make sense.

I also find it so awkward, like, Ben Shapiro and fucking all— like, all these right-wing influencers are like raising their hand like, I know what Charlie wanted, I was his best friend. Like, to me, like, I can't wrap my head around people using this guy's death death is like a— no, I know she's close with— I know her and like Charlie were close, but like when you're always like, these are the text messages, we used to sext, like, I'm just saying, like, like, it's like, what are you doing, dude? Like, just let the fucking guy die. Like, move the fuck on. And again, I think you should question it, and I'm happy people are questioning it, but when the average American hears the shit like Candace Owens says They're not like, it pushes them away from it. You're like, whoa, wait a minute. But like me, when I tell you, hey, when I, when I explained to you why AIPAC, why Marilyn Adelson is bad, why George Soros is bad for America, I could, I could articulate it and I could explain to you in a way that you can grasp it and say, hey, yeah, you know what?

Maybe we shouldn't vote for AIPAC candidates. Maybe George Soros isn't the best. Maybe, maybe maybe Marilynne Adelson giving Trump a, like, or maybe AIPAC giving Trump, you know, $300 million, it's not good. And maybe that is why Trump was forced or manipulated to Iran, because when you take the military-industrial complex, you take Israel, you take all the donations, you take the people in his inner circle, I could see how they can manipulate him into doing this, which is good for big business and oil. I could see how that happens. And if you could dissect that and make it rational and you can unpack it, now you can start identifying, okay, well, Marilyn Allison's bad, AIPAC is bad, the military-industrial complex is bad. But you don't have to go so far as to make it seem like some crazy fucking thing, because the moment you go in that water, you lose a mass portion of the sane country. The moment you start telling them all this shit like, oh dude, like 9/11, fucking the Jews did 9/11, And I don't care if they did or didn't. The moment you tell a big portion of this country that happened, they're gone.

They're fucking out. You got to break it down and present it in a more digestible way, you know what I'm saying? And Candace doesn't.

She— best way to do things is to present people with information and let them make their own decisions.

Yeah, dude, but people are fucking stupid though, dude. Like, I, I know, like, like, people are so fucking stupid. Like when I try to explain like economics and illegal immigration to people, to these liberals, and I'm telling them how much harder it's made their life, they say, well, yeah, but Trump is bad. Orange man's bad. People are fucking stupid, dude. But you also can't blame people for being stupid. Like me and you, dude, we have jobs. We don't have a fucking job. Like this is your job. Your job is to go online and research and look shit up and talk to people. You think the guy doing an average 8-hour job doing construction, going home to his fucking wife, you know, going— she's working, to two kids. You think that motherfucker's going on Reddit forums and looking at YouTube and trying to figure out— you know, he doesn't.

Just trying to get through the day.

Trying to get through the fucking day. Like, when you go talk to real rednecks, they don't give a fuck about anything, dude. They just like, dude, I just got done working, I want to go hunt. Yeah, like, I don't give a fuck about this. I'm sick of my— I don't want my oil— like, the orange man said that my I would have a better way of life. I fucking voted for him, you know. So, but, and so when I say people are stupid, I'm saying you cannot be informed or being misled and be a normal person. So when you have people like Candace go and have these like fucking— and do Candace, by the way, she's fucking crushing. She looks at you, I'll fucking stone-eyed, dude, all fucking wide-eyed. She's like, let me tell you. And you're just like, damn, Candace, like, yeah, I believe it, dude. The fucking Jews killed Charlie. Like, you fucking sold me, Candace. She looks at you all straight-faced with her fucking makeup that's done perfectly. You're like, damn, yeah, Candace.

Have you met her?

No, no. I'm sure I like her though.

You should meet her. I like you guys together.

But I just don't know. I don't know if she's doing the Alex Jones thing where, like, Alex Jones I think believes it, but he, like, created a character. Like, are you creating a character that you know sells? Because imagine, like, like in this day and age too, you're one of the few people that excel by not being, um, a clown. And I don't mean that Candace is a clown, but I mean, you know, you do have some really fucking crazy takes. But like, imagine if Candace just prevented— she's appealing to those fucking radical conspiracy theorist incels. And say they're only like a fraction of a percent of America, but if you could have $1 from a fraction of the percent of America, you've made a fuck ton of money. So you're appealing to these, like, these kind of like, oh yeah, dude, I'm on the Reddit. Like, you're appealing to these, and you're just like— and I just find it like, you're making money, but it's like, it's wrong. It's not wrong, it's just like— maybe she does believe it. I don't know, dude. Maybe she does. I don't fucking know, dude.

I'll link you guys together. You guys sort this shit out.

Yeah, we go, we go shoot some guns, bro.

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Now, I've always wondered how I would do, and I think I'd do fucking horribly, but how I would do— like, say you were in, like, we had to clear this house and we had to, like, be in a gunfight And I think like, like, I know I could shoot well, but I had never been shot at. And I think that's what separates like the boys from the fucking men, right? Because you've been shot at a lot, you know what it's like to have bullets whizz by your fucking head. Like, you know what that's like. I don't know what that's like. So like, you go shoot a fucking piece of cardboard all day long and you could clear a fucking room.

I remember the first time I got shot at, I didn't even know what the hell was going on. We were, we were in Iraq and we were setting up these— we were setting up a bunch of different sniper positions. And, uh, so I was a point man and we went and we cleared this whole building, which wound up being vacant. And then me and my buddy went up to the rooftop to get a vantage point. This is like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning and we're on NODs and we're up there like We— I used to chew tobacco. I used to chew, you know, dip. Yeah. So up there having a dip, just talking about how we can't wait for it all to go down. And we're just shooting the shit and we're like— tactics had go— it was a dumbass thing. We're just standing there on a fucking rooftop so anybody could see our silhouette. But there was no moon, there was no— so I guess you wouldn't really see a silhouette. But anyways, whatever, we shouldn't have been doing that. And I remember we're sitting there talking and I thought there was a billboard above me and it's— it sounded like somebody was taking like a yardstick and smacking the billboard.

Like it was like, like that, like a snap, the round hitting the round. And I'm like, what the hell? I'm like, what the hell is that noise? Who's smacking the billboard above us? And we look up and there's no no fucking— there's no billboard.

I'm like, holy shit, we're getting fucking whizzing by. Or is that crack in the side of the building?

No, no, that's the crack when it goes over— when it goes over your head, that's the crack you hear. You just hear the snap, like a—

if you've ever been in like a gunfight, like, you know, I always say like what, like what separates the SEALs is like they create conditions to win. Like if you look at every time a SEAL, like any, any at least a publicized SEAL operations, they, they created the condition to win. Like the Osama bin Laden raid, like that they created the perfect condition. Have you ever been in a gunfight where like a legit, legitimate, like you're on one side of a, like a legitimate, like I'm looking at you, you have a gun, I have a gun, and you're in a gunfight?

I've never been in a situation where I've been point-blank distance to somebody and they had a gun and I had a gun.

Yeah, well, I mean, not point-blank, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I'm about to get like Like, like you see a cop shootout where you're like, I could see this motherfucker, he's shooting at me, I'm hitting reload, returning fire at him. Like maybe like a 30, 40-yard engagement.

Yeah. I don't think we shot anybody, especially on that deployment. Everybody was within 50 yards.

No shit.

Yeah. Yeah. I remember one time And, uh, one time we were— it was rural Iraq and we were, we were like ghillied up in the bushes and shit in this town that was like, I don't know, 150 yards south of us was black, black— it was a black site or black town, which means no, no U.S. personnel could go in, fly over, do any of that. And they were basically— what these guys were them was they would come out and they would, um, blow up all the main supply routes, the MSR routes. And so, and these poor Army guys just kept getting killed. I mean, it was like every week, you know, more and more of them were getting killed and they couldn't figure out how to take care of it. So they brought us in and, uh, you know, we did like an assessment and some surveillance and, and we'd set up all these hide sites along this MSR road, main supply route, and ghillied up. And we had— we were so well hidden, we had goats, like local goat herders, their goats were coming up and like eating the hay that we had put into our ghillie suits.

And we spent, I don't know, 24 hours there. I think everybody— I think every time we went out, we got the guys within 24 hours. And so look, like, here's the road. And so we were set up kind of on the side of the road. There was 3 or 4 sites, you know, where snipers were. And then we have like kind of like a command element, they call it the C2 element, back here that's kind of, um, they're in charge of the— they're like the, the command element. And they had had a goat herder— or not goat herders, they had a line of 5 guys walk right behind them with AKs and, um, um, bombs. They were going to shovels, AKs, bombs. And they're like, oh shit, like, here they come. And they're, they're like, walked right over the top of my buddies, like, like, like right behind them, walked right over the top of them. Here's the road, they start digging on the road. And dude, I don't know how they didn't see us, but— and I didn't, I didn't shoot on this one because I didn't have visibility. But, uh, all of a sudden I just heard all this gunfire and I was like, oh shit, like we're suppressed.

Yeah, you know, we're— and I was like, we couldn't get anybody on the radio. Was like, what the fuck's going on? What happened? And, um No response, no response. And so me and my sniper partner are like back to back and we're like, all right, like this is it, I guess everybody's dead. And, um, like they obviously know we're here, so they're going to wind up getting online in that whole— that this village was like, like I said, it's only 150 yards. I'm like, they're going to wind up getting online and just clearing through this whole valley or burning us out of here. They'll burn that, they'll the field out to chase us out of here. And I remember thinking like, well, we're just gonna die, like, so we'll just take as many of these fuckers out as we can. And, um, and then, uh, my buddy, uh, he owns a company now called Gorilla Vanilla Security, or Vanilla Gorilla Security or some shit. His name's Ben Wallach. And, uh, he comes over the radio and he just goes, holy shit, we just killed the fuck out of those guys! And I was like, I was— I mean, that was like the best fucking feeling in the world.

And, uh, so what had happened is the unsuppressed shots, uh, I guess was them, and then we had some Army guys, though, like regular infantry Army guys that we had brought out to train with us. Like, we were like, hey, this is how we do business. Yeah, we want to pass this knowledge on to you. So that we can move on to the next unit and keep passing on the ball for them.

I'd hang out with you guys.

18-year-old kid, man, got his first kill that day. But what had happened was, um, these guys were— they had planted the bombs, and then our guys, we started shooting them.

And it's just like, you just, you just fucking—

well, they thought, they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road because they had just walked this whole distance and walked right over the guys. So they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. So they— when they, when they tried to retreat, they ran right back at us. And we were using green tip at the time. Do you know green tip?

Are they like for like, uh, armor?

Armor-piercing rounds. We're using green tip at the time, and the guys did not even realize they were getting shot shot.

No shit.

You could just see like the shoulders flinging back and running. And it— they got so close that they had to come out of the weeds, like out of the bushes, stand up and start engaging that way. And then they, they eventually— they dropped. And then we switched to— we switched from green tip. We started using 77 grain.

Okay, why? Just you wanted more like an impact?

Well, the thing with the green tip is it was just flying right through ball. I mean, when you go to look at it, it's like little pinholes, you know what I mean? Like little pinholes. And so these got— yeah, but with a 77-grain hollow tip—

what do you think about the military switching to the bigger round? Which round are they switching to?

6.8?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you want to shoot it because I got it out there.

My biggest thing, dude, like, I'm not a fucking war guy, but like, you You could watch Ukraine, like, dude, right now. I mean, like, you want to go watch fucking war? Like, it's, it's livestream, which is fucking a crazy time to be alive, right? Like, you're literally a war being livestreamed. It generally looks like for the average Joe, you're just putting rounds downrange. So it's like, why do you want to give guys less rounds that go like marginally farther? And like, it doesn't make sense to me.

Yeah. I mean, what we started doing then—

for you, it does. For like a SEAL guy that actually is like precision—

well, that's also it's a lot heavier, you know what I mean? And so we'll, we'll take that 6.8 out and it's amazing. It's punching through the range, it's punching through those railroad ties that are at the back of the wall, which is insane.

I got a story, like, so I'm cutting weight my first title fight and like, dude, for some reason—

say that again—

my first title fight in Australia, I'm cutting weight to fight Izzy and do— for some reason the weight just not coming off. Like, it's just not fucking coming off. And like, there's something— like, there's something so miserable about cutting weight. And I'm sure, like, like, you're in a sauna and you're just like, everything is telling you you got to get out. Like, there's a part of you, it's like, man, if I die right now, I'm cool. Like, this is cool, dude. Like, fuck this, I'm over this. Like, I'm good. I mean, there's a misery to it that I wish people experienced because it's kind of awesome. So Security. UFC always hires me security. I hit— I fucking— I hit a fan, and then, uh, after that, dude, they like— it's not security for me, it's security for other people because they're like, someone thinks— some say, 'Shit, Sean, he's getting a fight and the fight's gonna cancel.' So I always have security now. But, uh, so I'm sitting there in this fucking sauna and I talked to my buddy Luke, and I guess like, I don't know what he was, but he was like the, um, equivalent to like a Navy SEAL in Australia.

He like, he was telling me about like the school he went to, was locked in a fucking box for a few days.

Like, you know, this guy.

Yeah, something like that. So anyways, Luke, one of the coolest guys. You want to talk about somebody who has like a deep fucking passion for murder. To tell you something about Luke, we're walking down and he's a really like buttoned up, like big strong Australian man. Definitely smile, didn't really joke. Luke, and he was talking to a story about how like his buddy didn't murder somebody, and it was the only time I seen him show like expression of disappointment that like he had an opportunity to murder like a bad guy, he didn't do it. And like Luke was like, fucking pussy. All right, Luke. So anyways, I'm in a sauna, I'm cutting fucking weight, I'm miserable, and I say, hey Luke, what's something miserable you've done? Like, you know, like talk to us, Luke, I want to know about you, man. Like tell me something miserable. Like, tell me the most miserable you've been in life. And I was expecting, like, when I said that question, I was wanting him to say like, oh, well, one time, you know, I was locked in a box in training and like some fucking Asian bitch was like smacking my ass with a fucking— you know, I heard that story later— was smacking me with a whip.

No, that wasn't the story I got. He was like, well, Sean, let me tell you, I was in Afghanistan once. I was like, oh, fuck, dude. So it's not the story I wanted to hear. And he goes, we were driving and our convoy got hit with an RPG, and I'm wearing my translator all over me. I'm just covered in him. He goes, we get out because we're in Mobile and we have to hike like 5 kilometers, or the fuck that is, you know, freedom math. And he goes, and then as we're hiking, we're laying in a ditch taking fire, and I'm covered in the blood of my translator. And I remember laying there holding my gun as like we're in this firefight that I'm, I'm okay to like, today's the day I'm gonna die, but I'm at peace with it. Like, I'm, I am so miserable, this is so bad that like if I die here, like, I'm okay with this. And not like me and all these fighters, dude, we're sitting there just cutting weight like fucking speechless as this guy's telling us this. Like, and he said it like I'm saying it as a joke, but he's saying like, I mean, he's like bearing his soul in this story.

And we're all cutting weight, like, just like jaws open, like, yeah, dude, like, what do I say to that? Like, I'm a fucking pussy. Like, I get it, dude. All right, point proven. Zip up the fucking sauna, dude. I'm gonna shut the fuck up now. I'm a fucking pussy. Like, point proven. But like, when you, when you hear some stories that people gone through, oh my God, dude. Yeah, but even like the Ukraine war, like, you're watching that, there's a video online of a guy getting a knife knife fight. You see that?

Wow.

Literally like two guys GoPro a knife fight, and like the last thing as he dies is like kind of like, you did good. And like, I mean, it's fucking wild. Like the Ukraine war being, being televised or being live streamed, I mean, I can't wrap my head around that. Like you go on YouTube right now and you can watch firefights, battle tank maneuvers, drone footage. It's like, we live in such a fucking crazy world that like, I hope it vilifies war even more, but who knows. But yeah, man, so anyways, long story short, I was saying I really like to get in a gunfight, but hopefully against the SEAL, because I think I'd be a little bitch about it, you know. Because you watch cops, every now and then a cop will get in a gunfight, and like a legitimate gunfight where like the guy's getting fire and he's returning fire, and he'll fucking put his mag up and he'll hit his reload and rack and then you watch some guy—

I mean, dude, the thing is, like, I've been— look, I don't know if you'll rise to the occasion or not. I would, I would think you would considering what you do.

You watch some guys that, like, they're like—

but you mean when you're fighting? I mean, when you're in a fight and you're getting your ass beat, is there, is there a— is there— do you hit a point where you're like, you don't even think about it, where you're like, well, I'm fucking in this now, and so there's no getting out of this, so Like, when you know, there's only one choice. You're gonna keep going or you don't. And you have to make a mental decision. You have to— I'm going to keep going or I'm not.

And but how do you like the urge to flinch, dude, when you get around fucking— like, how do you fight that urge?

Like, it slows down.

Yeah, no, I mean, it's one of those things. I just don't know if you know— I don't know if you're that kind of— have you ever seen a SEAL Have you ever seen a SEAL in a gunfight and be a little like— like, I don't want to say like— I don't want to say pussy, dude, because you're not. You're a SEAL in a gunfight. But have you ever— have you ever been with a SEAL and you got in a gunfight and you're like, you're right, dude, no shit?

It happens at all levels, man.

And they just like— what is it, just more of like they get flinchy? They get like more of like, I don't want to fucking— like, I don't want to pop my head around the corner.

Corner? You mean like straight froze? No, no. I've seen people freeze. I've seen people hide in bathtubs. I've seen— I've seen it all, you know. But I mean, a lot of times, first time, you know, it's—

I think that's the benefit of experience, right? You've been in a lot of fucking gunfights, so like you're probably really comfortable if somebody's shooting at you, as comfortable as you can be.

It's— I've been I used to say I'd rather be face down in a ditch with bullets flying over me than public speaking. So that was home to me. Well, it's not now. I wonder how I would— now I wonder, like, how would I react after all these years?

When I was younger, I almost killed somebody. I mean, I was like seconds away from murdering this guy. It was a party and my buddy invited me over. And, um, fucking, so he like, I'm at this party, it's kind of a weird party. I never really want to be there. It's kind of strange with people there, weird. So my buddy starts wrestling me and like, I kind of hit him with a hip toss and he puts his fucking, and I was in, I was younger, bro. I mean, I literally wanted to die. Like I had a death wish. So I, he puts a hole in the wall. Girl comes downstairs and says, uh, says, hey, you gotta pay for it. And I don't, at this moment I'm like apologetic. Hey, sorry. Dude, my bad. Like, I was like 18 years old. Like, I didn't do it, he did it. I'll leave, but I'm not paying for it. Comes downstairs again as I'm walking towards the door. Say, you know what, my boyfriend says you have to. But she had it— she said it in a way of like fear and threatening. Like, she was fearful, but she also was like threatening me.

I was like, well, no, you want to tell your boyfriend if he wants to come fucking pay for it, he can come down, suck my dick and earn it. I said, no, dude, this fucking guy This guy fucking come downstairs with a 12-gauge shotgun. Boom, racks it.

Shit.

Fucking idiot put too close to my head. So I put my hands up, right? And the door is like over there. And I'm like, dude, like, man, like— and like, I knew in my head, like, I knew what I was gonna do. Like, I was either gonna die here right now or I was gonna fuck this guy up. So I put my hands up, like, dude, I'm so sorry, man. Like, I'm like looking down, like, I'm so sorry, dude. Just like, let me go home, let me go home. And like, I fucking— he's like, call me a fucking pussy. Boom, I grabbed the gun and just started start fucking drilling him in the face. I remember there was a piece of drywall and I started grabbing his head, just slamming his head through the drywall. I didn't hit a stud, fucking put a hole. Falls down. He's now like, he's on his knees now after his head, and I fucking push kick him, take the shotgun out, and I'm like, fucking— as I present it to fucking, fucking put a round in him, his fucking girlfriend— thank fucking God, because I'm not beating that case, I'm not beating that charge.

Girlfriend jumps on top of him and starts begging for his life. And I think about this girl all the time because like, if it wasn't for her jumping on top and begging for his life, I'd be getting institutionalized.

Shit, dude.

Yeah. So it's like, it's kind of weird, dude. I mean, yeah. So going back to like gunfights, I think when, I think when you're in it and you're resigned to it and you're just real focused, like there's nothing you can't do or like, oh, if you can overcome. Yeah. Oh, and to answer your question, when you're in a fight and you're getting the living shit kicked out of you and you know you're gonna lose, you just tell yourself, one, I don't want to get finished, I'm not gonna be a bitch, and two, maybe I get lucky. The only thing you're thinking about is like, maybe I could get lucky, it only takes one.

So you still have the will to fight?

Yeah, like, I know I'm not gonna win, I know I've lost every round, maybe I get lucky. Just put your hands up Maybe you get lucky.

Have you gotten lucky?

Uh, no, I've got the shit kicked out of me. No, I just continue to get the shit kicked out of me. Yeah, no, no, never, dude. Yeah, no.

What is your mindset when you walk into a fight? Actually, hold on, before we move on, you know, Sean, I'm a fan. And I need you to sign something, but it's probably not going to be the typical thing you sign. I love that you got kicked out of Trump's 80th birthday party.

Oh, let's go, man!

So I'm gonna use the show as the, uh, certificate of authenticity.

Actually, by the way, you know, I, I joke, these guys, they did detain me and they did like, they did trespass me, and I don't think they even charged me. But these guys, these marshals saved my fucking life, dude. When I saw that, I was like, holy shit.

I'll bet those dudes loved doing that.

Oh dude, they saved my fucking life. So like, what people don't understand is when you're in a crowd, like, I mean, sure, if you've done security and you've worked crowds, like, thank you, you understand how people die. Let's go, dude. Yeah, by the way, those marshals, so like If you guys are watching this, man, thank you. You guys saved my fucking life.

They're watching.

So, so dude, when you're in a crowd, the first time I was in a crowd and I've experienced this, I was at a UFC fan expo and I just thought it was like gay and lame. I didn't want to do it. So I walked in the crowd like, this is fucking gay. I want to go fight a fan or do something fun. And then like they start forming around you and they're like, everything just like like there's a wall of people around you. And I remember telling this guy, hey dude, like back the fuck up. And like he had so much fear on his face because he couldn't back up because he's in this crowd of a wall of people. He's like, dude, I can't. And at that moment you're like, oh man, I understand how people die in a crowd. So what happened is I was like, once I snuck in, I was like, you know, I'm gonna try to be like real like undercover. And then once I was made by the fans like if I didn't jump in that ring, people would have died. You're talking about thousands of people would gather around you and they start pushing and pushing and pushing and you create this wall of fucking people.

So when I jumped in the ring, it was like, this is the only place I could go where I'm not going to die. Wow. Because I just elevated their sides. So I was like, well, at least I'm safe in this, in this ring. And then once the marshals came to get me out, I mean, we— they were fighting people back. Like, they were shoving people, checking people that, like, if it wasn't for them, somebody could have died by me being there. And I mean, I feel like an asshole in the process, but I didn't even think about that. I was like, I'm just gonna hide in and walk. But like, crowds, man, they're— so those marshals, we're talking about these big corn-fed fucking people, dude. They were just checking fans, dragging people out. I'm shoving fans off me. Yeah, if it wasn't for them, dude, Dude, somebody would have died. They, they 100% saved someone's life that day.

Shit.

Yeah. Have you ever been in the middle of a crowd?

Oh yeah, a bunch of times. Yeah, it's like, it's just, it, it's like, that's the scariest shit. You take one, you can't, you can't identify, but there's so many people.

But for me, it's more the compress— like, you take one person that weighs £150, £200, now you add 1,000 of them pushing on each other, you create this wall. That's why people like get ampled and suffocating crowds, like you just fucking die. But yeah, those marshals, man, they, they fucking saved my life, dude. So anyways, that's awesome. Marshals, thank you guys.

What happened there? I gotta know the story, you know, so we can frame this and put it in the studio.

Yeah, so Trump, uh, the UFC was like, hey, you know, you want to go? You want to go? I want to go to the fight. So I bought tickets. So my girl's family's up there. I had to go tell them something. So I already pre-planned the trip. It's like, you know, I'll just make a fucking detour. So I made a detour and then Hunter called me and was like, hey, you know, you didn't get cleared, man. Sorry. Like the White House wouldn't clear you. And mind you, I, of course they didn't fucking clear me. I was shocked when, I was shocked when Hunter said I could go in the first place. Well, yeah, of course they're looking at my fucking tweets. Like, yeah, you're not going to fucking clear me. They're not going to let me go. So I wasn't surprised, right? But then I told the UFC, well, like, dude, at least let me go to the Fan Fest. Like, let me go to like to the gates and like go hang out with fans. Like, I'm already there. Like, let me go say what's up. And the UFC fucking boom. I was like, hey, you know, like, why don't you guys just give me like some security so I could go say what's up?

UFC, nothing, nothing. And then even my manager reached out to him, was like, you know Sean's gonna sneak in and go, right? I'm like, can you give him security? Like, ah, Sorry, we can't.

Damn.

So it's like they, uh, and I still was like, fuck it, I'm still gonna go anyways, you know. But yeah, I know the UFC, the Trump administration— I think I was just salty for the UFC because like Trump blacklisted me from the White House, but the UFC blacklisted me from the whole event. They didn't give me security. Yeah, they didn't give me— they didn't give me passes. There was like a big fan event where all the fighters went. They didn't let me go, but they would have known. I mean, I don't blame the UFC because I would have been up there with a microphone like, hey guys, these fucking pedophiles, what are you fucking doing here? Fucking Trump, dude, how many, how many times is your name in the list? So I, I can't blame them, you know.

Are you the one that said, why would I go fight for a bunch of pedophiles?

Uh, yeah, I think I said like something like that. Like, I mean, so everyone's like, well, why did you want to go? I'm like, dude, I could separate politics and fighting. Like, it's cool, it's at the fucking White House, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime event. If of course I'd fucking go. But I don't blame the UFC and I don't blame the White House because fucking Trump's a piece of shit. And I would have definitely have said that on live TV and there would have been a big shit show. So I don't blame anybody.

Right on, man.

I own it. I fucking own it.

I love it. So what are you getting ready for? When are you going to fight again?

Uh, right now, so I have this AC joint separation. It's not bad, dude. I just need probably a couple more months just to let it heal up. Like, I mean, you'll see me rubbing it right now, just fucking throbbing. But dude, I don't know, man. It's all about money, you know. People talk about like, who's the fight? Who do you want to fight? I don't give a fuck. Just pay me well, I'll fucking fight anybody, dude. I'll go fight— I'll go— I'll go to heavyweight if you pay me well. So fighting to me is really just a job, and I like the fans.

Well, Polly Markets got you as the favorite to still be middleweight champ at the end of 2026. You're leading the odds. How do you see the rest of 2026 playing out?

How do I bet, dude? I should just fucking ride the bench to play 26.

And what are you hoping for?

No, I mean, dude, my shoulder heals up, I fight. I like fighting, dude. I like even, you know, going back to like the who I am as a person. I am better when I'm in camp. Like, so me being injured out of camp, I'm fucking— dude, like, I'm like, I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing fucking well. Like, I was in Florida. I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing well. I like— I'm trying to create enemies I don't have. I'm trying to pick fights that aren't there. Like, everybody's out to fucking get me right now. And I'm fully aware that like, I'm in limbo because my injury. So me being in limbo, I'm just like I just— I'm fucking just spiraling, you know? I'm just like trying to—

you don't do well in idle.

Fuck no, dude. I need to have something to fight. I need to have some kind of misery. I need to have something like— I need to force myself to die. I need to— I need to wake up every day and be like, I want this to be over. That's where I'm at my best. This, where I'm like, you know, whatever I want— I fucking hate this. Yeah, like start twitching and shit and start fucking twitching.

Dude, I hope you start helping kids, man. You could have a lot of power for future generations.

My girl hates it. She doesn't hate it, but like, I'm like, I'm really fucking twitchy and I hide it so well in public, but like, I'm so fucking— Do you ever have any twitches or like tics or anything like that? So like sometimes like I think about thoughts a lot and like they make me feel uncomfortable and I don't think I know how to process emotions. So like, I'll be sitting there having a conversation, like, fucking, like, just like twitch. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I can't help it. I can't fucking help it. I try not to. I can't fucking help it.

When does it come out the most? Crowds?

Crowds. A lot of them.

People you don't know?

A lot of them, but also a lot when I'm around my girl. I twitch a lot more around her.

No shit.

Because I think I'm trying to like hide who I am, right? So like, I have all these thoughts in my head. They're like usually really fucked up thoughts, like, like, like real fucked up thoughts.

So I think she doesn't know this.

No, she knows it, but like it makes me so uncomfortable that, uh, I feel like I just like— I think it just manifests itself in like a physical reaction because like they saw I'm looking at my wife and they're so fucking uncomfortable and so fucked up that like I think it just manifests itself in a, uh, in a way. I used to be able— like I still do every now and then if I really have a bad I say bad thought, it could be anything, like a shameful thing I've done, a shameful thing I want to do. I used to just visualize— I say used to, I fucking do it all the time still. But every time I have a thought, you guys try it, it might help you. Every time I have a thought I can't get out of my head, I visualize myself shooting myself in the head. And like, I always visualize the same thing. I just like, I'll be talking, I'll be talking to my wife, I'm just sorry. I just think about like the slow motion, like bullet just like entering and fracturing and expanding. And I think about the actual visual image of it and it like, I just focus on that thought, dude.

And like, it just blanks me out. Holy shit. And then if, then if the thought is, and then if the thought's too big and I can't get it out, I'll even just like touch my head a little bit. Just like, and I visually, once I, I put my finger on my head and I could like put my finger on the temple and I could actually like see the trajectory of the bullet coming out, and like it just blanks my mind right out.

Whoa.

But no, it just helps, dude.

It just helps, dude. That is dark.

Well, I mean, it just helps because like you just— like it's such an extreme— like it's such an extreme visual and mental image. It just— all whatever I'm thinking about now, and the moment I start focusing on that, it just takes everything away.

Do you think— how'd you meet your wife?

Now, funny enough, dude, we actually met— I mean, this was like Tinder. Yeah, Tinder, 7 years ago.

Oh shit, are you serious?

But so I wasn't as famous back then, right? I was like, dude, did you really meet her on Tinder? Yeah, dude, I was just trying to get— but I was just trying to get laid, dude. No, I was just trying to get fucking laid. Like, I was trying to get laid.

What was your profile pic?

I don't know, dude. I don't think I really— I think it was just me, like, I think it was me riding a horse or something, dude. I was like, I try to make myself look nonthreatening. I wanted to be fun but nonthreatening, right? That's what you want.

This is me not being a psychopath.

Yeah. No, you don't find out about after you're in the trap. So anyways, I like horses. Yeah, I like horses. Yeah, I'm a good guy. So anyways, I meet her and I always laugh because if you go back to our first meeting and say, hey, like, you guys are going to be married one day, we would both look at each other and be like, are you fucking retarded? Like, what the fuck? So my girl, by the way, I had this old shitty Nissan fucked up truck and she sees me, I'm sitting on my truck and like, she's, dude, she's really together. Two degrees. Her dad is like in the go fuck yourself wealthy category. Like I had to sign a prenup. Like, like I had to sign a prenup just cause you know how rich people work. Like rich people put assets in different names. Games. So it's like the dad was like, you're not letting this shit— you're not letting this shit anywhere near my money. And he's looking at his daughter, are you serious with this shit? So dude, and like, we had this conversation once. Oh man, I'll tell you a funny story.

So I had monkeypox the first time I met him. Chris Curtis, no racism. I don't think I've ever met anybody that's that Bunky Pops. Yeah, no, dude. Yeah, so I'm in the— I'm in the gym, dude. I'm in the gym, and my buddy Chris Curtis, black guy, not monkey, but he just happened to be black, you know. So I'm in the gym, and he has like some spots on him. Like, bro, that don't look right. And mind you, this guy's like one of my closest friends. I mean, him getting in fights all the time, like fist fight. We've probably been in 5 fist fights. Like, we, we fight. He's a dirty fucking liberal, you know. But, uh, we get— we get in a fight all the time. It's like, do you got some like weird spots on you? Like, are you okay? He's like, oh yeah, no, I'm good, dude, just a pimple. I'm like, all right, dude, like, that's cool. Hopefully fucking parents don't watch this. They probably don't. But so I was like, that's cool, dude. And he's out of the gym for like 2 fucking weeks. So my girl, my girl's like old school.

Like, you don't meet her family. Like, guys don't meet the family. Like, my fucking, my house wasn't like that. I'm like, be fucking 16 years old having sex up in the fucking room. Like, she'll be walking out half naked past the family. Like, that wasn't how my family was, dude. Like, like, we had no— like, we had no boundaries in my family, dude. So, so, like, me and her parents was a big fucking thing for her. For me, I'm like, oh man, it's weird to actually date a girl that has a dad, but, uh, I'm not really used to that, you know. Usually it's like— usually my past experience was like, you had to tell me how your dad I had molested you, and then I have to feel real bad about that. But anyway, but I love it, bro. My girl saved me from it.

What'd you guys do? What was the first date? We just went total opposites.

No, we just went to Starbucks and hung out. We talked to you about, uh, it was funny because like me, I'm on my worst behavior. I'm talking like one of like the barista guys. I'm like, you some kind of faggot, you work at Starbucks? He's like, no, man, I'm a libertarian, I like guns. Like, my girl's just saying like, what the fuck, upstate New York girl. So I meet her family, dude. I meet her fucking family. And I like, all of a sudden I have like, I'm an emotional guy. I'm an emotional guy. Just who I am. Like, I don't know why. I just like, like, uh, I mean, I was like, dude, I talked to this vet the other day and I almost started fucking bawling. Like, you know, he, uh, uh, where I was at, he's like, hey, you should go see my brothers at Arlington, bro. And he said that and like the way he said it, you're even thinking about it. It almost fucked me up. Like, just hearing him say that, like, you should go meet my brothers, like, at Arlington. Like, it fucking— it fucked me up, dude. Like, even thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I'm an emotional guy. So anyways, I started talking to her, and I have no shame in it, you know. I could be a pussy some days. So I start talking to her fucking dad, and he starts, like, inquiring about my life, about my dad. And mind you, I have this fucking— I have this like massively high fever because the monkeypox, you get a fever and then you get the rash. So like over dinner, so I'm already not in the right mindset. I'm fucking jacked up on caffeine. Oh, and like I probably have like 103 fever. I'm just trying to keep it together. And I start talking about my childhood. My brother raised me like My brother is like, for all rights or wrong or indifferent, like he fucking, he raised me like he, he raised me. And I started telling the story. I'm gonna try to keep my shit together when I tell the story. I'm gonna try to keep it together, guys. Don't fucking, I'm gonna keep my shit together. I can't look when I say it. So there was one day my brother strapped like knives. I mean, we're talking about like elementary school, strapped knives to his like his pants.

And his plan was to go sit next to my dad and stab him. Fuck, kill him.

Damn, dude.

So I'm like telling the story and I gotta stay animated because if I actually feel it, you know, I'm just gonna break me down. So if I stay animated, I just like, I'm good. Think about the bullet, think about the bullet. So I'm telling the story and like, I just started crying. Now mind you, I had a high fever, you know, but like, I was like just trying to explain to him what it was like. I just started, first time at a parent's fucking crying, trying to keep my shit together. Because I was telling that story and he asked me like I did. It was no unsolicited advice. I was just trying to explain. And I also had a really high fucking fever, like I was mildly delirious. Yeah. First time I met her parents, I had like a fucking breakdown. Not a breakdown. It was just more of just like, yeah, no, it's my brother raised me and I just need a sec. One sec. And then, yeah. So then I go home.

What does he say to that?

He, dude, his life, they're like, when you, my girl's family, I mean, the dad was the grandfather on the mom's side, beloved in the town. They have like soccer, they have like golf tournaments. He was a coach at like some good college. World War II vet, POW, Battle of the Bulge, the phrase is on her. Her dad, her dad's a business owner. He inherited the business. Like, I'm saying they have like, they have, they have a long lineage, lineage of like success and stability. My lineage is like fucking mental illness and permanent disability. Money. So it's like, you know, he has to kind of wrap his head around that.

Yeah, I told him, married into similar families.

Yeah, right?

Father-in-law, kind of same deal. And, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, you're extremely worried, but dude, you're an American fucking hero, my man.

Like, I don't think that's how they saw it.

Well, don't show them the Colombia part. So anyways, I go break it. I have a breakdown, dude. I go home and like I wake up. I tell— I text my girl, I'm like, dude, I had to leave, sorry, I have a massive fever, I'm fucked up. I wake up, dude, I have legions all over my body from monkeypox. And I call Kurt, I was like, you motherfucker, dude, you motherfucker.

Damn, do you get along with them?

Oh yeah, no, they're fucking great, dude. They're like Um, they're great. They're like, like, could not ask for like better fucking in-laws. Do you get along with your in-laws?

I do. Yeah, it took a little bit.

Yeah, I think they still— I think they would still rather not be with a daughter. Like, I think if they could snap their fingers, they'd probably say no. But I mean, whatever, dude. It's funny, um, I say the story a lot, but after we got married, you know, we go meet him for breakfast and, uh, and which I don't blame him. We go meet him for breakfast and, uh, he looks at me, we're saying our goodbyes, you know, shakes my hand, he goes, Sean, uh, I didn't think you were going to be my son-in-law, but here we are. He just walks the fuck away.

Holy shit.

I just— but I know who I am, bro. Like, I mean, I mean, like I said, I grew up like— I mean, I fucking know who I am, dude. I'm fucking a high school dropout. I— the only reason why I'm not fucking institutionalized is because I hit people in the fucking head. Like, I'm a fucking loser. Like, and now everyone's like, oh no, no, I am. Like, who I— I mean, my— where I came from, like, I mean, girls are getting fucking— like, I remember being in fucking like junior high and chicks were getting fucking double-teamed in my fucking living group. Like, that's who I came from, right? Like, like, we didn't have fucking— like, I mean, we didn't have clean towels, dude. We had like the communal fucking towel that after like fucking 3 weeks it turned into this like moldy fucking mess. Now you're debating, do I take the sheet off my bed or do I use the moldy towel? I'm gonna go take the sheet off the bed. But you know, the thing about my parents too, they were never like— we were very middle class. Like, we were very— I probably lower— they were like meat cutters.

They worked at Albertsons together. But when you're white trash, you just fucking— you just spend fucking money. So by after you got all, you know, the beer, the alcohol, whatever the fuck else they're buying, you just were poor. But it's why, like, kids too need to start investing, man.

So like, dude, I mean, I know you think that of yourself, but fuck, Sean, I'm telling you, dude, like, I'm so— you could have such an impact on today's youth?

I cannot tell you, I am so fucking lucky. I'm so lucky, dude. Like, if I go back and I look at all my life, from like the fucking revolver to almost shooting the guy, and even so much other than that, like, like, you want to talk about God? Like, I am so lucky, because if any, if any one of these thousand events happened any other way, I would not be here today, or I'd be in a prison cage somewhere.

Well, I'm glad you just said that.

Yeah. My girl's dad actually, funny, one Christmas, the best gift he ever gave me, he gave me like a $500 check and he handed me a laptop. I'm like, that's cool, man. I don't fucking need your money. Like, I don't want your money. He's like, no, no, no. And he opened up a Charles Schwab account and he's like, you're going to start investing. Like, when my girl met me, I had $1 million under a bag in my bed. Like, what am I going to do with it, babe? And she was like, are you fucking stupid? I'm like, I don't know. So now I started investing and it's one of those things. I think one of the things about when you meet really wealthy people, they don't tell you it's so easy to make money in America. And they don't teach you that as a kid. And I don't mean like, I'm not one of those people that are like, oh, you're fucking stupid. I was trying to explain to my girl, I was like, babe, you're talking to me about investing the money. Me? Like, do you think I ever gave a fuck about that?

Like, do you think I really— do you think I really had the thought process of saying, hey, if I could put $100 now, in 10 years it'll be $5,000, $10,000? Like, I didn't— I didn't have that thought process. So, dude, my girl really changed my life. If it wasn't for her, I'd be in such a— I'd be in such a bad place. I'd probably be with some, like, fucking porn star, OnlyFans girl, just like being a— just going deeper into a 'Cause I mean, even dude, even like, I mean, I was a piece of shit. And like my, once I, like I got like my initial fame, it wasn't because I was a good guy. It was because like I let people know like, dude, I'm a piece of shit and I love it. Like I don't do drugs. I do all my mistakes sober. This is who I am. And my girl really like, really stopped and said like, you can't be a piece of shit if you want to be with me, which was fucking real hard.

Is that the first time you've ever had exposure to a family like that?

Oh God, yeah, it is so fucking weird. And first time she's ever exposed to a family like me. It's so weird, man, when you think about like, honestly, like after seeing her family, I don't know if I'm gonna— I'm grateful for my family because, you know, dude, they're really rich whites, bro. It's different. There's like these, there's like these hierarchies and like they love each other, but there's like separations from church and state. Like there's separation between like, I'm the dad, you're the daughter. Like it's a very, like, it's not cold, you know, they, they love each other and they do everything for each other, but it's like a very cold environment, right? Like right, wrong, or indifferent, dude. I might've known who my mom was banging when I was in elementary school, but I knew, you know, So like, it was, uh, Christmas, dude. It was Christmas with the whites, and like the first Christmas I've ever been to the whites, dude. And it was like, I remember sitting there like, what the fuck am I doing here? So like, they love food. White people love food, dude. Like when you, when you saw the whites, like, uh, I always saw a story that they go and they buy these like really nice cheeses and shit.

The whites love cheeses, you know. So they go and they buy like like, you know, like a whole basket. Like, this is like Gouda, this is like aged cheese, there's fucking mold on this cheese. And they like— because it's like a Christmas thing. So like, if you guys ever want to make a white person happy, get them some cheese, apparently. So anyways, they— the dad goes, well, hey daughter, um, do you know where your like your cheese knives are at? And she's all, Dad, sorry, like, uh, we just have regular knives. Oh, I don't have a set. And dude, the dad— and she'll look back like, that's not how it happened.

And the dad looked at her like, how the fuck do you not have a cheese knife?

Like, I didn't have a cheese knife. I didn't know there was a fucking cheese knife, dude. Where's your security board? So I'm just sitting there witnessing all this. Like, the most upsetting thing about your guys's day is you don't have a fucking cheese knife. Like, okay, I mean, what the fuck? So I'm just sitting there like watching this interaction and I'm just like taking it all in and absorbing it and looking how the whites live. I always say there's whites and there's whites, bro. And like, to her family's eyes, bro, I ain't no fucking white man. Like, I am like, I'm not white. So later on, as a dinner progresses, I'm gonna get so fucking— I'm gonna get yelled at for telling these stories, but whatever. It's good, bro. It's a compliment to your family. I always tell her like, baby, it's a compliment. I didn't grow up that way. Like, no, I was doing Christmas, I was probably trying to fucking have sex with a whore upstairs. Like, that was not like, it's good. So they're all like, they cook all day long and they go and they buy like this nice organic grass-fed fucking prime rib.

And then the backyard all day long, like poking and prodding this fucking piece of meat. Like, oh man, look how tender that is. It's been on, it's been for this long. And I'm just saying, they're like, this is the most boring white-ass shit I've ever did. Like, we need to invite some fucking people over, dude. Like, give me a fucking beer bottle to the head any day over this. Like, I would, I would rather go fucking fight my brother because he said some shit than be here. But it's nice. So then we have dinner and I look around and everyone's real nice, dude. They're talking about like investments and stock accounts and and, you know, the coffee, fucking, the coffee's in. So I'm like, hey guys, how do you guys feel about God? Like, yes, dude, like, it's outside. The brother, I'm like, so do you, uh, do you, do you partake? Do you believe? I mean, it is Christmas. Do you believe in baby Jesus? And the mom, and the mom goes, yeah, I know. Do you believe in Christ? And I'm just laughing because I'm like, they're so structured and so uninvolved in each other's lives that they don't even know, like, the belief system of their kids because there's so many layers of structure in their lives.

You are the father, you are the mother, you are a kid. Which I think is good to have these, like, layers of— and, like, my girl loves her dad. She's a dad's girl. Like, she should have been a tomboy, you know? So they start talking about it, and I'm just, like, absorbing all this. Like, huh? Because the way I grew up, dude, like, our Christmas dinner, dude, like, I mean, not as an adult, as a kid, my brother would be like, oh, I'm gonna go fucking bang my girlfriend or this whore. I mean, this is that Christmas dinner conversation, you know? So you watch this and you're just like, huh, this is how you guys live? It's really fucking boring. That's how I feel here in this town, by the way. I just walk around like, who the fuck am I, dude? Where are the Black people at? Give me some Blacks. Give me my people. No, but, uh, yeah, so you're with the whites, you know what it's like.

This is a good town, man. What people care about here is God. Don't fuck with our kids.

Oh, it's great.

Everybody's nice to each other.

Yeah, if we had more God-fearing rednecks— I always say rednecks are the only thing that will save the country. We just need more fucking rednecks. And mind you guys, like, rednecks could be a black redneck, you could be a yellow redneck, I don't give a fuck. But like the mentality of a redneck, just hardworking, God-fearing people. It's like a dying breed, man. Makes you real sad.

Do you think you'll have kids?

Yeah, I want to have kids. I want to have kids. Me and my girl talking about it. She went and got tested. She's all good. We might do IVF. She doesn't need IVF, but, but I think you could pick a boy and I know God's going to curse me with a girl. What do you have, boy, girl?

I have a boy and a girl. Yeah.

Boy first.

Boy first. The Schultz method, I think is what they call it. It works.

What's the Schultz method?

I'm going to butcher this. My wife, I just do what she says, but we really wanted a boy first. And once you start tracking the what, the ovulation cycle? There's, there's specific— so let me think. So the boy sperm, the male sperm, is really fast, but it dies really quick.

Got you.

So what, what, whatever point during the ovulation cycle, it's— you, you don't have sex until, until like the egg has dropped. Yeah, yeah. So you have to look this up so I don't—

so you gotta find the timing. It's the time.

Yeah, so it's the timing. So Well, as soon as the egg drops, you know, and they can like track all this stuff, that's when you have sex. And then the male sperm swim to the top and they fertilize the egg, and the females are slower, right? Sure as shit, we had a boy.

No shit. And then you did the next one, we wanted a girl.

So, so this— so with the girl—

yeah, but you're religious, bro. God, hold on, you're a bone.

So with the, with the girl with a female, you want to have sex before the egg drops. And so you have sex, and all the males swim up there as fast as they can, and they die. No, and the female ones, they swim slower, but they live longer. So the female ones are all hanging around in there waiting for the egg to drop, and then when it drops, they fertilize the egg.

Let me tell you now, this has happened.

It worked 2 times in a row.

I know, I know. I'm calling my girl right now, dude.

Schultz method. Yeah, I know.

I just know God will curse me.

Now she has to listen to the podcast.

Yeah, no, no, I know God will curse me with a girl. God's gonna look at me— if there is a God, he's gonna look down on me. He's like, you think after all the damage you've done you get a boy? Fuck no. It's time for you to repent, sir. Have a fucking girl.

God, God, a girl's something else, man.

But also too, like, I would probably be better with a girl because like I think that I'm probably a little bit too like hard on men, you know? Yeah, I'm kind of— but then I'm pretty too soft. I don't know, man. But well, like, so we're talking about doing IVF. My girl doesn't want to because she'd get pregnant, but I'm like, I really like— go spend $50 grand and be able to pick a boy? Like, I think it's kind of worth it.

Girls are cool.

I bought trucks for more.

You're gonna love them both.

Yeah, no, maybe I should just do it the old school way. But, uh, yeah, no, man, I, I want— I think one of the hard things for me with having a family is I'm kind of mentally stuck as who I was as a kid. And I know this might say, like, this might seem weird to a lot of people, and a lot of people can relate to this, but like, I am a 35-year-old grown-ass man. Like, I know who I am, but mentally there's a part of me that is still stuck in that, that person. So to actually think about like being a dad, waking up to a kid in the next room, like to, like to raise a kid to be like, you know, better than I am, which really won't be that hard, right? If I'm, if I made it, dude, anybody can fucking make it. But like a part of me is kind of stuck in that mentality of who I was when I was like 16 years old. It's hard for me to picture that, but I feel like you just got to do it and make the mistake and just fucking figure it out.

It changes you, dude.

But it's hard, man. It's hard to get out of that, like, you know. And I think a lot of people too that have— not a lot of people, but a lot of people, like, they have it. They had like inspiration, you know, like, yeah, you're gonna grow up and be a fucking dad, like, you're gonna do this and that. Like, that's not me, man. It was like, if you fucking had a— you knocked a girl, punch her in the stomach, like, you're a fucking idiot, you know. Like, you're like— like, that was never an option. Like, being a dad was never an option for me. I never wanted it. And now I'm with my girl and I'm established. So yeah, the next chapter of life, maybe it may make me change a little bit or not. I thought I'd take him to church, raise him as a Christian.

You should.

And I probably would. Yeah, I probably would.

Is your wife a Christian?

I think their family would all be agnostic. Like, I think if you really— I think if you really had to ask them, gun to the head, do you believe that Jesus was the Son of God, even though they say they're Christian, I don't know if like gun to the head that would be like the answer in their heart. So I think they would move for more fallen agnostic. But my girl went to church every Sunday, but they still go to church for, uh, Christmas. I think it's just like when you're white, dude, it's what you— if you're white, you're Christian. Like, that's what you do. You're a white man and like, but they— Upstate New York is kind of like a farm town, you know? It's very different. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I would probably— that's hard. How do you raise your kid?

You raise them to be your replacement.

Yeah. Okay. I'd like him to be Christian. All right, I guess I'll raise Christian. But yeah, man. Yeah, that's interesting, dude.

It is. Well, I got a hot question for you. You ready? Sean, there's a video out there a lot of my audience has seen. Your Ring camera catches a guy at your house in Vegas. He grabbed a pistol, went out into the street, and the whole thing ends up online. Take me back to that moment, from the second you saw him on that camera to the decision to go outside, and what was actually going through your head.

So a backstory to like— not backstory, but another story to like kind of describe who I am. And you're the same way, you're the same fucking way. I'm driving, I'm on the phone with Nina, and he's my good friend, works at UFC. And this homeless guy walks in front of me, and I'm driving way too fucking fast, slam on the brakes, fucking throws his bike in front of me, throws his bike in front of me. I roll down the window, I can't, I can't go forward because there's a bike in front of me. I pull out my gun, I put in my hand because I don't know if this fucking homeless guy has a gun, a knife, and try to stab me. I'd rather not have to fucking draw from like sitting, you know. So I'm like standing with the gun in my hand and he gets in the— rolls down the window, fuck you, fuck you. I'm just like, okay, you gotta fuck wrong dude, you know. And he puts his hands up and he walks away. And then Nina was like, Sean, you realize that you're in a car, you could have just drove away.

I was like, I guess I could have. I was like, I guess, yeah, I guess you could just, I guess you, I don't think I would never walk away from a conflict.

Like I just don't like to me, if there's ever this, who's in the car with you?

No, I was on the phone with Nina talking about it. And like, she's on the phone hearing me have this conversation, pulling out a gun and like, hey, you good, dog? And now mind you, he had no weapon, no knife. So it just like, once he seen the gun, he backed away, but it's like, um, but, uh, Like, so Nina was like, why don't you just drive away? You're in a car. I'm like, Nina, I just don't think like that. Like, I am sure you're the same way. If there's a problem, you're not thinking like, I'm gonna go this way. Like, I'm a grown-ass fucking man. I'm not gonna go this way. This is where I'm going. So back to the— just to understand my mindset, right? Saying that, I get a Ring alert and there's some guy like hiding— like, not hiding, but I thought he was trying to steal my truck, which is a really shitty truck. I don't know why you'd I like it. But so I thought he was trying to steal my truck. So I told my girl, like, wait inside. I grabbed my, I think it was a Sig, I think it was a Sig, I think it was, uh, the smaller .365. So I go out there and I'm like, hey, what the fuck are you doing?

He gets up and he like, you know, you see the video and he was just a weak, pathetic man. Like he was so fucking weak, so pathetic. Like, at that moment you're like, there's no threatening thing about you, like you're not a threat, there's nothing wrong with you. So he starts walking, like, no, no, like, wait, dude. And then a security car, a security comes up and says, stop that guy. So now it's like, I'm assuming that this guy did something fucked up or very bad, and like he's trying to be arrested. So now I'm like, well, okay. So I walk out and he keeps walking, I just shove him down, I point a gun at him. And I'm like, you know, wait. Turns out he beat up his sister. They're at a liquor store. He beat the fuck out of his sister. And then the sister jumped out of the car. He drove his car, hit a— hit something, had a flat tire, parked right outside my house and was hiding between my truck. I thought he was trying to steal my truck, but that wasn't the real story. So I go on there and the security guard starts telling me like, no, he beat the hell out of this girl.

He just crashed his car, and I'm on the phone with the cops right now. So I'm like, hey, you're not leaving, dude. Just wait for the cops to come. And then the cops were like, you know, we're really busy tonight. Just let him go. And we have his name and information. He has a warrant, so he has to turn himself in tomorrow. And I'm like, all right, hey, you're free to go, dude. Enjoy your night.

Holy shit. Yeah, he just beat the shit out of his sister, and they're like, yeah, let him go.

It's Vegas, man. It's fucking Vegas, a shithole. So he comes back later that night with his wife. Now his wife's with him, and I just see because I look out the window and he's clearing beer bottles out of his car so if cops come.

He—

so he goes and cleans all the alcohol, drives away, comes back the next day with his fucking daughter. And that's why I blurred his face, because I was like, you know, I don't want to— like, I blurred your face once you came back with your kid. So he's like— and he's like a white trash fucking delinquent, and he's trying to— he can't change his fucking tire on the car that he wrecked to drive out of there. So he's with his daughter, and I'm like, this is so fucked up. So I walk outside, I'm like, hey dude, I'm the guy that put a gun to your head the other day. I'm like, you need some help? And so I changed the guy's tire with him, met his daughter, met his kid, changed his tire for him, shook his hand, say, hey man, well I wish you the best. And then I drove away. I don't know what happened to you, but it's like, yeah, that was a weird fucking day. Again, I don't hate anybody, dude. I mean, you're a piece of shit, but again, what is the common denominator? You're drunk. You're fucking drinking. Like, I can't explain.

Like, there's this guy, um, it's a big thing, big controversy, Dustin Poirier. That's lame, but he's UFC champion.

Oh yeah, you guys, you guys have some history, don't you?

Yeah, I made fun of him, but I make fun of everybody. Like, he went out and said like, I was depressed, and like, I was like, get the fuck out of here, bro. You're depressed? You're rich. What? You're a rich fucking white man. And then a friend of a friend was like, hey, you're kind of— that was kind of fucked up. And so I was like, oh dude, maybe, maybe, maybe I overstepped. So I go and I called Dustin. I'm like, hey man, or I text him like, hey man, hey, sorry dude, I was like, I don't think you're the kind of guy that gives a fuck, but I was just making a joke. I was just being me. And it turned out like he was really fucked up over it. Like he was really fucked up over it. He's like, yeah, damn. Like I was in a bad place. I drank on a plane. I embarrassed my fucking family. Like forever. I'm, you know, what'd he say? He said, it was good. He really, I mean, he gets a pass. He said, it gonna be a bad day. He said to a black cop, but he gets a pass.

Nobody cares. And I was like, man, I just like, I thought it was great, dude. I'm like, I'm— that's my new— I say that all the time. Like, I, I didn't mean that, but he was really torn up by it. And then, ah, fuck, I shouldn't— I don't think it matters, but I think Bud Light's gonna release him. And he kind of hinted to like he's a sponsored athlete by Bud Light. And it made me so fucking mad. It made me so fucking mad. Like, by me, Bud Light— I'm gonna get a call from the fucking UFC. Hey, why are you talking shit on Bud Light? Bud Light. So Bud Light already fucking betrayed America with their fucking tran— tranny on a beer can.

Yeah, so, but then, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, ever, ever. So, but then like the little—

yeah, so they go and they sponsor the UFC. I'm like, you know, man, at least they're trying. Like, they're fucking trying to redempt— they're, they're trying to go in the man category. They're not pushing this gay shit anymore.

Yeah, because of the financials.

Yeah. And but going forward, this is where like I kind of like lost my shit with Bud Light.

It's crazy how they bought everybody out overnight. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, so people shooting them with machine guns and the next day they're drinking Bud Light on Rogan.

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, you got a soul.

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I mean, money's money. So I, I talked to Dustin and he kind of hinted that like they're going to terminate his contract back because he got fucked up on a plane. And I was like, how— like, how much of a piece of shit are you, Bud Light? Like, you take a guy, you want to say he's an alcoholic, he's in a bad place, he uses your product, he is a Bud Light, he is the American. And the moment something bad happens, we're like, you kind of get a little egg on your face, like you get a little shame because you got drunk on a plane and try to fight a black cop, which which is fucking funny. He's not racist. You, you like, you want to terminate his contract? Like, what Bud Light should have done— that should be the PR— they should have reached out to Dustin, say, hey Dustin, man, you're not doing well. You might have a problem with drinking. We're a beer company, we sponsor you, but like, can we help you? Can we, can we help you? Like, like, we want to help you as a beer company, as American, as an American company.

I know you guys do the commercials of the American flags and like the pool parties. Let it— let us kind of help you. Do you need anything? That's not what they did. They're gonna— they're gonna say, oh, you fucked up. You used our product and you fucked up. Get the fuck lost. We don't want that bad image. And you know, I always say, like, I don't drink. I never have drink, nor will I drink. I just— I don't have the personality for it. I think Bud Light spent $6 billion in the last 40 years of marketing. And like their, their level of marketing, it's like, and I don't want to say Bud Light, you could say every beer company. I'm just using this because they're the one that's going to drop Dustin and it like irks my soul. But they did it, man. They sold you the American way that like you, you're, you know, cowboy on a horse, a game and this and that. But like, I don't fucking have that fulfillment. Every time I seen a beer can or beer bottle as a kid, there was no like, this is, this is not going to be a good day for me.

Yeah.

Like when my dad walked inside the house with a fucking pack of beer, like I didn't look at that beer can like, this is America, I want to go watch a football game and be happy. I'm like, oh damn, I'm fucked. Like it's gonna be a fucking— he went with a fucking 24-pack instead of 12-pack. Like it's gonna be a fuck night for me. So I don't have the— I don't have like that kind of relationship with alcohol. Alcohol. For me, I think alcohol is fucking poison. It's like, it is like the worst thing.

It is, it is poison.

Yeah, it's like, again, I'm a libertarian, I think it should be illegal, but it's like, even, even with Dustin, you know, I'm happy he acknowledged it, it is fucked up. But I mean, it's just, it's so easy when you're having a bad day. And I think about all the time, like, I don't do drugs, but like, I want to do drugs so fucking bad. Like, I'll have a bad day and I just like, I'm around I'm like, man, if I just go get high right now, like all my, like my urges, desires could just vanish. I'm just going to be a happy fucking idiot for a night. Like that sounds so fucking nice. I get it. I just know that like where that fucking leads and alcohol always leads for the most part. If you have, if you're one of the many Americans that have the demons, it leads a very fucked up life. Bro, just stay away from it.

Yeah, it's good advice, man.

So I fucking—

I don't even know how we got talking about Dustin and Bud Light, but, uh, we were talking about you going after somebody you saw on the Ring camera.

Oh yeah, about alcohol.

And then I was gonna ask you what your everyday carry is.

Oh yeah, no, I got the, uh, I got the Sig, man. Not another 320, dude. I actually, uh, I got the Sig, uh, 365 AXG, all metal. Best, best carry gun. The thing is, like, I will say, when I, when I carry So you carry a Sig? I'm just kidding. What do you carry?

Yeah, I carry— I like the .365. It depends where I go. Around here where I live, I carry the .365, the OG one, 12+1.

Yeah, subcompact one. If, um, yeah, ain't nothing from—

if I'm driving, you know, if I'm somewhere else, it's a little more—

yeah.

It's something different than— I like carrying the .365 Macro or the Legion, which, same thing.

You carry a spare mag with you?

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, do you really? Oh, he's one of those guys. Yeah, I don't carry a spare mag. I should, but I'm usually like, when I carry, dude, I'm like in gym shorts. I'm just like— and I have like the clip-on holster. I don't do the gun belt.

I mean, if I'm cruising around, you know, doing—

if I'm out traveling, going through town, are you, are you, uh, are you a Sig Sauer shield, or do you actually believe the product?

Dude, I've just told you I carry— I carried it a long time. Okay, I've got videos of me carrying it way before I became, um, way before I started my partnership.

No, I think it's the best. They don't— they don't— Sig doesn't sponsor me. I think it's the best gun. Yeah, Glocks I find very uncomfortable to like to carry. I just— and then like, you know, Sig has more capacity for the same package. The only good thing about a Glock is that when I do like a Glock 19, I present very well. Like, for something about that big blocky thing, I just— when I grab it, I present so well because like the way it's shaped. But I hate fucking carrying it because you're carrying this big blocky thing that's just— I'm fucking fat, dude. I'm just killing myself. The Sig to me is by far the best carry gun. I'll be—

I'm glad you asked me if I'm a Sig 'cause everybody calls me a Sig shill, but I'll even tell you about my partnership. We started—

I own a 320.

Yeah, we, we, we— no, I was— so I, before I started this, I was in the firearms industry, you know. I was a tactical trainer and, um, trained Keanu Reeves for John Wick.

Oh, no shit.

Yeah, I had that Genesis shotgun, really great shotgun, and, uh, I have one in there. I've even shot it.

Oh dude, it runs great. You could run birdshot through it, runs great.

Maybe we should bust that out when we go to the range today. But, uh, anyways, I couldn't get a gun— I could not get a firearm sponsorship no matter what. And I was reviewing the Sig 365. It got like, I don't know, a couple million views. Couldn't get anything. Then I started this and, and, um, got a, got a partnership with Sig. Dude, they're just a fucking awesome company, man. And, you know, they came on and I was like, hey, I don't do exclusive stuff. Like, I like a lot of different guns and I'm gonna shoot guns and I'm gonna post other guns. And I like your stuff a lot too, but I was like, I'm not— I'm just not going to be an exclusive person. And I want to be able to shoot what I like to shoot. And but I do carry your stuff and I do own your stuff and I love your stuff. And I carried a Sig 226 in the SEAL Team totally cool with that, dude. They're like, yeah, yeah, do whatever.

But the only, the only controversy SIG had was the 320. But even the 320, like, mind you, would I carry a 320? I don't know if I'd carry a 320. Would I have one next to my bed with a can on it? Maybe. But they don't run, they don't run well with cans. I have one. But, but every time you watch the videos of the 320 going off, it's like, there's always some level of like, oh, this is not the right holster I put it in. Like, there's always some level of like question.

Well, the last thing, the last thing that happened, and I don't know all the, all the stuff behind this, but there was, there was an Army, there was an Army guy or an Air Force person or whatever that was shot and killed. Yeah, but then they do it, and so they use the narrative that the .320 was going off off all by itself. Yeah, you know what I mean? They use that narrative to try to clear the— to the kid used it like he used—

let me tell you, to his advantage.

Hold on, I was on it. And then, and then they did the investigation and the kid picked up the fucking gun and pulled the trigger and shot his friend. But you know, the narrative's getting used against him.

So that's—

I got you a present.

Oh, but wait, wait, let me finish that. So, so touching on that, this is why like I kind of had to come to Jesus moment with Sig, and I had to kind of like readdress it because I was the same way when I, when I heard that story. Not only that, I was kind of like, fuck you, Sig. I got mad at Sig because I was like, because I carry, I carry a Sig. I have like fucking 5 Sig guns, dude. So I kind of got mad at it, and I kind of jumped on the fucking Sig hate bandwagon. And then once the real story came out, I'm like, man, I just shitpost Sig for like fucking months, and it turns out this like guy shot himself. So I think in even in the videos,— like, they're always weird, you know? It's like, oh, they're reholstering on a holster that's not made for the gun. Like, it's just very weird. And I think because it's such a common gun— so if there's any video of this going off because someone putting a gun— I mean, it's probably one of the most fucking popular guns. So just by proxy and video, you're gonna see that.

But yeah, no, I'm just fucking with you, man. I fuck with Sig. I own Sigs. I like fucking Sig.

I'm glad you brought it up. But, um, Um, anyways, let me grab it.

Grab this for you.

Got a couple of gifts for you.

Oh shit.

So, uh, you know what this is? Uh, you look excited, Sean.

Well, it's the, uh, it's the Sig. It starts with an S, right? What the fuck's it called?

This is the Sig 300 Blackout Rattler.

Yeah, the fucking Rattler.

It's got a collapsible stock here, folding stock I mean. Flip-up irons. It's got SIG's new, um, optic, which I forget the name of, sorry. SIG flashlight and SIG suppressor. So, um, you want to test this out? Let's go!

Oh my God, man, I'm a lefty too, by the way.

Are you really?

I really appreciate the ambi safeties, and, uh, it's nice. No, I can't afford to shoot 300 Blackout. Oh, uh, touch the microphone. No, I can't afford to shoot 300 Blackout, but you know.

Oh, I think it's— wow, maybe your rich white in-laws will buy you some 300 Blackout to go with it. Or maybe Sig will be extra generous and just send you some.

Yeah, hey Sig, hook it up, man. I mean, at this point—

yeah, I got my buddy Jason over there. I told him you were coming on, he got all excited. And I'll tell you another badass thing Sig is— so the sheriff's department that's just to the west of here, they have a horrible budget. They have like a $3 million budget to run the entire department. I'm friends with somebody that works over there, and he was telling me the guns they're running. And he's like, dude, we got like these old-ass— like, I don't want to destroy any companies here, but this company, Upper, The barrels are shot out, different lowers. And he's like, we don't have any optics. And, and he's like, guys are starting to ask if they could just run their own stuff and they don't want us to. Dude, I got pissed. I was like, I can't fucking believe they're sending— and they don't have a choice, they have no funding. You know, $3 million for the whole fucking department is nothing. It costs more than that to run this. And So, uh, I was like, this is— I can't believe this shit. So I just— I was like, I'm gonna— I'm gonna outfit this department myself if I have to.

And I called Jason up at SIG, and I was like, hey dude, this is the deal. I was like, can you guys— even if you just give it to me at cost. Yeah. Um, and so me and Sig are going in together. We're gonna split it and we're going to outfit that entire SWAT team with brand new rifles and optics. And another badass thing about that company is— are you familiar with the Roblox shit? Have you heard of Roblox? No. That— so Roblox is a game where all these predators—

oh God, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know somebody. Yeah, no, that game should be banned.

Yeah, so I brought this kid in, schlepped— that's his, uh, his framed thing over there, his mom sent me. Anyways, Slep kind of unveiled the whole Roblox thing. Yeah, on what was going on. And so one of the things they did is they recreated this fucking game, recreated all the active shooter school shooting events and put them in the game. Not only did they do that, they put the victims that were killed— like, remember all the kids that were killed at Sandy Hook? They put the names of the kids over the kids So you enter the classroom and murder the kids. They recreated the scene and they were using SIG weapons. So I got that to Jason too, and I said, hey, I just want you guys to know I did this episode and they're utilizing your weapons in that fucking game. So got their legal involved, went after Roblox, and they pulled the shit out immediately.

Shit.

So regardless of whatever you hear about them, No, I mean, again, awesome, awesome, awesome.

I have, I have the 20, the, the GTO. By the way, have you shot the GTO yet? They're— oh yeah, 2011. Oh my God, I think it runs so great. One of my— I, I say that the GTO is a pleasure to shoot. I mean, it's fucking flat, it's nice. I got that, I got, uh, .320, I got like a few .365s, I got the Sig Cross.

Nice.

Yeah, I mean, and speaking of the Sig Cross, yeah, I can never figure out how to fucking close these things. Where is it? Wait, let me figure this out. Here's the same mechanism. You ever shop with the Cross?

Yeah, we got one in there.

Yeah, you like, you push down. Oh, goddamn it, dude. How do you fucking close this thing? Here, let me show you. And every time I grab my Sig, dude, I push this down. Oh yeah, get this on camera.

I just folded this damn thing.

Oh, there we go.

There we go.

So again, you guys, I got— see, you gotta— if I can give you advice, you gotta fix this mechanism because everybody that has a Sig Cross, when they go to fold it, they always fuck with it. Naughty. But this is a beautiful gun. Hey, Sig, thank you guys. I fuck with you guys. If you want to shoot me some ammo for this thing, let me know. Preferably subsonic. What do you think about that? Hey, wait, wait, I gotta ask you a question. I gotta ask you a 'Cause the gun guys will love this. What do you think about throwing a blackout? This is like the debate, bro. This is the gun debate. What do you like throwing a blackout?

I mean, dude, I don't— if I like—

What's your nightstand gun?

What's my nightstand gun?

Yeah.

It's a pistol. It's a 9mm pistol, the Sig Macro.

Okay. You don't do any rifle next to the—

And then I got I got another one, the Sig MCX Spear, which I'll show.

I'll bring it. Would you wait? Do you have a rifle? It's 300. You have a rifle in your room?

Dude, yes. Okay, so you've seen the armory here? Yeah.

So you do it— wait, you do 300 Blackout?

I do 300 Blackout. Here's why.

You do subsonic or supersonic?

I don't think it matters. I have both, but I find that just regular Not subsonic, runs better. I always get jams with the subsonic no matter what.

300 Blackout is your gun. Do you have the suppressed, your rifle?

Yeah, suppressed. What do you have?

Uh, I do just a— I'm a PSA guy, dude. My PSA is in my budget. I do caliber though, it's .223 AR-15. And then I had—

I, I do 300 Blackout because of the penetration.

And then I have my, my nightstand gun.

I don't want— I told you about what happened with the green tip, right? And so .223 is going to fly through the human, fly through the wall, go through the next wall, and potentially go into my son or daughter's room, right? With the .300 Blackout, once it hits the flesh, it's not going to have enough penetration to keep going. And so—

This is a new nightstand gun then. Right on. But I carry the PSA AR-15. I do 11 inches. And then I also carry the GTO is my, my handgun.

Nice.

I mean, it's such a nice gun, guys. If you ever want to get a 2011, dude, it's even for the cost, like, it's such a good cost entry for that level of gun. I don't really fuck with Staccato. I just think they're kind of gay. There's something about Staccatos here. I'm just like, every time you see a Staccato guy, I buy, own Staccatos, but it's like, it's kind of fucking gay. And then like the guys that— why do you think they're gay? And then the guys that shoot Staccatos, dude, like They're just like, they're just fucking dildos. Like, so in the motorcycle world, there's like Ducatis. Like, there's always like, I'm the Ducati guy. And it's like, you have like, guns are marginally different. So like, people that get Sicatos, they get so wrapped up in the name and the pistol. It's like, dude, you're just gay. It's like, like, you sound like a fucking European, dude. Like, you're just fucking gay. So I just like, I, I can't fuck with Sicato. I mean, they're a little— do you tell me guys are a little gay?

I don't think it's gay.

All right, but you know, also too, people need to understand, like, everybody picks a side with guns, dude. Guns are so marginally different.

It's a tool.

Like, even when you're talking to handguns, bro, where they're talking about a Hellcat— I don't— I think the Hellcat's a little bit too snappy. Not a big fan of the Hellcat. They're like Glock or the Sig, dude. They're just marginally fucking different. And people are so tribalized. We're like, oh yeah, dude, I carry a Sig. Oh, you Oh, I carry a Glock. Like, oh, you fucking loser. Your Sig's in a jam. Like, if there is a team, someone's going to pick it and they're going to fucking hate you for not being on the team. I'm not that way, dude. I like— I've been cicada, dude. I like all guns. I have Sig, I have Smith Wesson. Like, same with motorcycles. I have fucking Harley, I have Indian, I have Kawasaki, I have Yamaha. Omaha. Like, you know, I'm just— I'm not tribal. I, I've never really been like a, a tribalistic kind of guy. You do what makes you happy.

Yep, yep.

Just don't point in my face. Yep. I got going— here's another thing.

Vigilante League gummy bears, made in the USA. Not weed gummies, just candy. And then I got one other thing for you.

Gummy bears. But I gotta try one of these.

So talking about, you know, talking about God and all this other stuff, right? I'm gonna give this to you. You read?

Yeah, I read. I'll read if it matters.

Well, What is today? It's a book called Jesus Calling. You read one, one thing a day, super short, takes no time.

I will read.

I read it at the end of the day.. And a lot of times I feel like it's talking about what happened that day. Maybe you get something out of it. Maybe you don't.

I'll tell you what, every night I'll read a page starting tonight. But yeah, no, I mean, you know, speaking of like God, man, I cannot tell you the respect I have for Christianity. It's like, it's, uh, one of the greatest gifts that we've had on this planet is like the gift of Christianity. And like when it's used correctly and it's used and the way it's intended, anything can happen. Yeah, man, I appreciate you, dude.

Appreciate you, man. You've got a huge heart. I could tell.

I'm kind of a pussy, but yeah.

But, uh, it's been an honor, man. I mean that. No matter where you're watching The Sean Ryan Show from, if you get anything out of this at all, anything, please like, comment, and subscribe. And most importantly, share this everywhere you possibly can. And if you're feeling extra generous, head to Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review.