Transcript of #2486 - Luis J Gomez New

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.

Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day.

The last one was special and then I just fucking fell off.

I had a margarita at dinner once and I was like, all right, I'm back.

Yeah, that'll do it. It's just that one. You think I'll have one?

It was nice. It's just I was drinking too much because you know, owning a club there all the time, you know, how much everyone's like, you want a shot, you want a drink?

Oh yeah, I can imagine. When I'm at your club, I get blackout drunk every time. Like an actual problem. Like I walk down the stairs, I'm like, what the fuck just happened? I drink so much at the Mothership. Austin in general. Are we on?

Are we? I think we're rolling. Yeah, the problem is Shane.

Oh yeah, he's an animal. I don't know how he does it. I did the Bridgestone Arena with him on Friday night. I mean, first of all, just insane. Like 20,000 people.

Right.

I mean, fucking.

It's nuts.

Saturday night I did 95 people at the Dojo of Comedy.

Is that the first time you did a big one in the round?

In the round, yeah.

In the round is like oddly intimate, isn't it? Because everyone's facing each other.

Yeah, you can, uh, it feels like it's a club around you on the bottom. You kind of like— it's so funny because people get like so in their head, they're like, dude, it's all these people, it's crazy. I'm like, I perform to half-sold-out comedy clubs. You know how much more nerve-wracking it is to make eye contact with your fans that are disappointed that they're in a half-sold-out room than 20,000 people that are just there to be like, fucking Shane!

It's one of those things you just do it a couple of times and you get, it gets normal. Yeah. Like all things.

I'm sure.

Yeah, like all things.

That's more fun, dude.

It is very fun.

Oh, it's so much more fun. It's very fun. I would, just so you guys know, I would way rather perform to 20,000 people than 100. I just want you to know that. I don't know if that's a unique idea, but.

Yeah, 100's good too though, 'cause 100 really shows you if your bits are bullshit.

Yeah.

You know, 100 shows you the weak links in bits.

You see them checking their phone.

No, it's in, you feel it. Yeah. You feel like you're delivering them horseshit. You know, you feel like you're not appreciating what you're saying. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Of course. And I think it's also like, uh, it's such a spectacle when you go to like an arena where it's like people are like so lit and pumped to just like be there. They're so happy.

I know.

They're so excited.

Yeah.

I don't know how Sabrina Carpenter just came up in my feed, um, from Coachella. Little hot child. And, uh, she's like, that's all my algorithm is now is Sabrina Carpenter.

My daughter loves her.

I'm sure, yeah. Uh, My girlfriend loves her.

She's got some good jams. That Espresso song, that's a really good song.

Yeah, Manchild.

She's got some songs.

That's my shit, dude. It's become my shit. I never heard any of her music before this past week, but it's the Coachella stuff has all been showing up and like I'm watching these girls watch Sabrina Carpenter. They're so happy.

So happy.

They're like nothing more. Like they're like just, they're like just having the best moment of their life.

These 16-year-old girls are like, "It's fucking Sabrina Carpenter!" That's why like people gotta chill on things that they think suck. 'Cause it's just not for you, man.

And that's okay.

Yeah, that's okay. Like, spending all your time dwelling on things that aren't for you is so crazy.

It's a crazy thing.

It's such a waste of time.

It's internet culture, that's what it is. Like, the internet and social media became a thing where we gave everyone a voice, everyone has to have an opinion. Nobody wants to admit they're wrong, right? And they have to have a hot take, everything that happens within minutes. Not even a moment to let me reflect. Let me just do a little bit of research. Let me just look up a couple facts. They just jump into whatever their opinion is. And that's the same thing when it comes to like, you know, entertainment and, you know, all your, and you, dude, you know better than anyone. I was talking to Jamie before, like you and Tony have become so big that it's become like, like it's like culture. It's not even like, like I know you guys, you know what I'm saying? So it's like, it's, but it's like when I remove myself from it, it's like you guys are as big as Sabrina Carpenter. Like having a conversation about Joe Rogan going to the White House or Sabrina Carpenter at Coachella, that's trending shit, you know what I'm saying? And people feel like they have to come out and just give their opinion on it right away.

If you don't like it, don't like it.

But that's also like, if you don't want people to have their opinions on you, don't go to the White House.

That's a great point.

You know, like, I don't fault them for getting, you know, whatever, whatever hot take, getting mad at me for whatever reason.

Go ahead.

Yeah. That's your thing. You're allowed to. You're supposed to. Like, if you're a comic too, you're supposed to shit on people if you think they're doing something stupid. Yeah.

Do you get offended when comics shit on you?

No. Never. No, I mean, I'm in this weird zeitgeist thing. I don't get offended. Some of them I think it's lame because I think I know them, like I'm friends with them. Right. And they're like using me to get clout. Like if you really had a problem with me, you could just text me.

Yeah.

You know, if you really felt like I was an anti-vaxxer and I was endangering people's lives, fucking text me, bro. You know me.

Yeah.

It's weird. It's weird when people do that and maybe they feel like an obligation even though they know you to speak publicly. There's a lot of people that feel like they have to use their voice like when something is wrong, they have to come out and say it, which it's also boredom. They just understand the inclination. I understand the inclination, and people will tell you that, that you need to use your voice. And if you feel like you need to use your voice, okay. But what I'm saying is there's far too many people out there dwelling on things they do not like versus things they like. And this life is fucking short. It does. I am 58 years old. I'm almost 59. That's dead. That's old as fuck.

You got 20 years, best case scenario, right?

If everything goes great. And what are those 20 years like? I mean, I'm holding it together thanks to Wastewell and my obsessive need to work out, but other than that, man, I feel it. I feel it slipping away. It's gonna—

it's crazy. I'm 44. I just turned 44 a couple weeks ago, and like, best case scenario, like absolute best case scenario, midlife, I Midlife.

Yeah, best age.

My aunt has never worked out a day in her life. She's 89 years old. She's just a fat old Italian lady.

Yeah, that's the move, man. She eats whatever she wants.

It might be, dude. Why am I so obsessed with trying to get in shape and eating right and doing all this other stuff? My fat aunt just does whatever she wants and she's just an old Italian lady. She's just, she's gonna, she's as young as I've ever remembered her. She's so with it. It's so funny to me.

I've vacationed in Italy a bunch of times and I've gone to these little small towns. There's always like a really nice restaurant in this little small town. You have to take like a van up into the hills.

You're on like a cliffside with like no guardrail.

You get to these places and you see these people having these like 3.5-hour dinners. Everyone's relaxed, they're all laughing, their family's around.

4 generations, there's a 170-year-old father.

But no one's stressed out. They're not all freaked out like Americans are. They're also not fat. These thin people, they're— And they're eating bread. They're eating bread and pasta and fucking gelato. And they're not fucking smoking cigarettes and they live to be 100.

My favorite place to visit, Italy. I brought my son for a father-son trip there years ago. Then I just brought my whole family last year. We went to Venice and Rome. And yeah, dude, I have like a gluten intolerance. Like if I eat a sandwich, I'm just gonna, you'll see it in my face. Like all I did was eat pasta, bread, Gelato the whole time, the whole time.

And you were fine?

I lost 5 pounds. I was there for a week, I lost 5 fucking pounds. People are like, dude, it's the walking. I was like, it's not the walking. Walking does not lose fucking, you don't lose weight from walking if you're a person who actively exercises.

We are being poisoned.

Yeah.

100%. And you know, RFK Jr. has been working really hard to try to stop a lot of what is fucking with us with our diet in America. But God, the resistance is crazy. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform for building a website that actually looks legit and helps you stand out online. And I should know, my site, joerogan.com, is powered by Squarespace. They make it easy to lock down the right domain for your business or project, and they've got built-in privacy and security tools to keep everything protected. Head to squarespace.com/rogan to try it out for free. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code ROGAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Well, people decide what side they're on and they go, I don't care how good it might be, fuck you, you're part of Trump's cabinet.

It's a little of that. But what I'm talking about is the resistance from corporations.

Oh yeah, I'm sure.

And the effect that they have on policy and then the reality of economics. Like, here was a big one, like he had to he had to pass— so there's this thing, you know what glyphosate is?

No.

Okay, so it's an herbicide that they spray on plants, and it's super bad for you. It's super bad for you. It's banned in a lot of countries, but it's used ubiquitously in the United States. And there's some extraordinary number of people—

oh, is this glyphosate on the wheat? Is this what they're spraying on the wheat?

Exactly. So they sprayed on the wheat as a desiccator. So they sprayed on the wheat after the wheat has already been harvested to keep it from from growing mold, which is crazy. They're gonna spray poison to make sure that life doesn't grow on your wheat. That's really what's going on. Like, mold is a type of life, and they wanna make sure it doesn't grow on this wheat that they're gonna sell you, so they spray poison on it. So RFK Jr. was trying really hard to stop that, but Trump essentially said that if they passed this ban on glyphosate and they forced all these farmers to stop moving glyphosate, it would destroy the farm market in America. It would destroy it. Like, 90-something percent of these people use glyphosate.

Whoa.

And you're like, that's because they have to—

like, it's— it preserves it essentially so they could keep it longer.

And for wheat, and, and then corn actually has like Roundup Ready corn, so you could spray it on the corn and it survives this shit. Yeah. So like, it kills all the weeds around it, but the corn survives. So we got this nuclear corn.

That's bizarre.

And what's crazy is our whole system depends on it. Like, we've got a bad system, and the solution is keep the bad system for now, because if we don't— if we don't feed people poison, then we'll go under. It's so crazy. And that's how— that's what it is in America. Yeah, that's why when you go to Italy, you get that Italian flour, which is heirloom wheat. So, you know, Maynard from Tool, he explained this to me because he owns restaurants. And he said that when you're getting wheat from America, it's like got a higher yield per acre, 'cause it's like more gluten dense, it has more complex glutens in it, and your body just goes, whoa, like this is a lot. You know that feeling, like whoa, 'cause you're essentially eating glue. When you eat pasta that you have it in Italy, or I'm not saying it doesn't have calories, but there's a difference in the way it feels when it goes in your body. There's not a resistance. It feels like food. When I become a glutton and I eat like a whole pizza in America, if it's not at a good spot that, you know, uses Italian wheat, I feel like I fucking poisoned myself.

I literally feel, I mean, almost like a hangover, a weird, like you feel it like in your veins.

So I don't know if that's the complex glutens. I don't know if that's glyphosate. I think the glyphosate thing is probably dangerous, but yet also possibly overstated. So it seems like the very low levels of glyphosate, our body can tolerate it. But the real question is like, why are we fucking tolerating it? Like, why is that there?

Yeah.

Because there's people that think that that's what you're reacting to when you're eating wheat, that you're reacting to your body. Your body's just like, what is this? I don't like this fucking herbicide.

Well, this also happened as I got older. I don't even know what it was like. I just, I never really had an issue with like pizza, pasta, wheat, anything when I was a kid. I could eat a peanut butter jelly sandwich. It's not until my mid-20s it just hit me in a different way. And I don't actually, I don't know if you can develop a gluten intolerance or a gluten allergy.

It seems like it happens to a lot of people as they get older. I wonder what that is. I wonder if that's just your body's just like, "Eh, fuck enough, dude." Yeah. Your body just gives up on it. It's like, but when you were young—

It's running more efficiently just naturally?

You're young, you're full of hormones, your body, the cells are replicating perfectly.

Jerking off 30 times a day. Yeah, you're a fucking animal.

Everything's great, and I think your body could just burn it off. Like, that's why hangovers weren't as bad when I was 20 either. Oh yeah, hangovers were no big deal. Just have some water the next day and you'll be good. Yeah, it was not that bad, dude. Hangovers— if I have a hangover at 58, I'm like, what are you trying to die early, you fucking idiot?

That's what I was saying about Shane at the stadium or the arena before. It's like, he's— we get there and I wasn't even drinking. I stopped drinking, um, you know, regularly here and there, but I, I was just the best shape and the best mental state I've ever been in my life was when I'm completely sober. Completely sober, eating healthy, exercising every day. That right there is the best. That's the best version of everybody. It's not a unique thing to myself, right? But Shane, I was like, you know, he's fucking Shane. He was like, come on, you gotta have a drink.

Yeah.

So I was like, started drinking whiskey.

The best version of Shane is 11 Bud Lights.

Yeah, dude.

After 11, he's just unstoppable. Yeah. He's a jolly drunk, that's why.

I don't know how he does it. I don't know if I could have done it for more than 2, 3 nights in a row. I would die.

You ever smoke weed with a rapper? It's the same shit. It's like people get used to things. Yeah, you know, try smoking weed with Wiz Khalifa.

Wiz Khalifa should try smoking weed with me.

Really?

Are you kidding me?

Are you really calling him out? That's crazy.

Bring it on, Wiz Khalifa. I used to be— I mean, I'm talking about an all day, every day, get up in the morning just to get going, 5 dabs. Like, I— like, real deal pothead, blunt to the head. Mm, I smoked one to the head a week ago right before I trained, and my sparring partner was like, do you smell like weed? It was like, I could never in a million years, but it's just I'm so used to it that I just—

becomes a normal state.

Well, I'm sure jiu-jitsu, everyone smokes weed.

A lot of people smoke. It's a dirty secret of jiu-jitsu. Yeah, a lot of people smoke weed before jiu-jitsu. What is Wiz doing, up the nose?

Nose dab?

Yeah. Oh no, you don't need to do that. Would you do that? Was that— who's jacked? You ever see what Wiz looks like? Yeah, he got really into Muay Thai, like, like heavily, and so he brings a guy with him everywhere he goes and hits pads. He's He's fucking ripped, dude. I mean, like a 10-pack. It's crazy. He looks fucking great, and his technique looks pretty solid.

Just gets high, kicks shit.

How fun is that? What a life. Well, there's a thing about when you're high, you feel your muscles more. Like, you feel like the little fibers.

Yeah.

You know, instead of it being a blunt thing, it's like you have access to all the fibers.

Yeah, and it's also you like, um, with jiu-jitsu specifically, you get into like a flow state where you close your eyes and you're just fucking feeling things, and it's like, I think that can actually help it.

I think it's a performance enhancer. I really do. I always felt like my jiu-jitsu game was 10% better if I was high.

Really?

Yeah, no bullshit. Yeah, I've really felt that. I think Eddie would agree with that too. I think a lot of people agree with that.

Yeah.

You know, I think—

Same thing with comedy. It's like, it's— It can be. It can be. I think if you're getting high every day and then if you switch it up, then it's a performance enhancer. Like, being right now, being completely sober, like, I feel like I'm on Adderall. Like, I feel like I'm completely locked in in a different way. Whereas like you— and then I'll stop smoking weed for 6 months and I'll go back to it. I'm like, oh, I've never been more creative. It's just— I think it's just changing your mindset in whatever way you can do that. Yeah, that's why people are so locked in and they're like having the same opinions their entire lives. It's like somebody called me out on Twitter today. They're like, dude, you flip-flop constantly on things. I was like, you mean I've grown? Yeah, you've been watching me for 15 years on podcasts. I'm now—

listen, I'm Captain Flip-Flop. I'm Captain Flip-Flop. And then I just don't think you should be married to your ideas. I think the real problem is once you say something and then you have to defend it, and then once you find out that it's wrong, you, you fucking panic, and then you double down, and then you try to defend it in some weird fucking circular logic way.

And you'll get there. You'll probably— if you're smart enough, guys will just figure out a way to ass-backwards their logic. But every once in a while, it's so nice to go, oh dude, I was completely wrong about that.

See, you win any argument with a girl in this world, the world that you and I are in, we have conversations publicly, right? And that's what something that a lot of people don't do. So if you have conversations publicly, then the whole world can essentially go, no, you're wrong. Yeah, you know, which is very valuable, very valuable for being able to formulate opinions. Most people don't fucking have that. Yeah, so most people, they just like, if they're wrong about something, they've said it publicly and shamed people, you know, you better do this because of that and this, and they're wrong. Once they find out they're wrong, they fucking panic, and there's not much you can do about it. Like, you're just wrong.

Yeah.

And the only thing you could do if you want to keep any credibility and say, say, this is what I thought and this is why I thought it, but I don't think that anymore, and I was wrong. Yeah, I fucked that up. But this new information I want you to have too. Yeah, this is what I'm gonna tell you, why I thought what I thought and why I changed. Yeah, I mean, I'd be able to do that.

I think it's just a weird thing in society. People will not—

they will want to pretend they're smarter than they are. Yeah, that's the thing, man. Everybody wants to pretend they're fucking smarter than they are. We're all talking monkeys. Yeah, we're idiots, all of us. Yeah, every fucking person alive is a talking monkey. So the internet is the best and the worst thing that's ever happened because now all the monkeys can scream. Everybody can get mad, everybody can complain, but it's also great.

And you used to have time to reflect. You said— so what would happen is something would happen, right? Whatever it is, some big event, right? And it happens on Friday. Like, I don't have, I gotta sit on this until Monday. I'll talk to my wife or some friends at home, but it's like, until I get to work on Monday, I can't spout these ideas and my opinions. And you kind of reflect on it. You sit on it, you're on the toilet taking a shit, thinking about things. We don't have that anymore. It's just all distraction constantly. And it's like, just, I mean, the amount, like, the only time I ever like reflect is if I'm working out or I'm sitting in the steam room. I gotta put the phone away. You literally can't do anything. But even you're taking a shit, dude. Back in the day, taking a shit used to be like the best thinking time.

People had magazines.

Yeah.

You know, you sit there reading Life magazine while you're taking a dump. What you just said was like very important. This— what you just— so what we're talking about is people being able to talk about things. Now imagine what life was like, because we both— how old are you?

44.

Okay, so you lived it a little bit, but I really lived it where there was no internet. And if there was no internet, you couldn't talk to anything about anybody, about any buddy about anything because everything that came up in the news, like you'd see it on the news, you go, "What is going on?" You get like this quick snippet and then you'd have to go to a newspaper and you'd read the newspaper and go, "What the fuck are we doing in Venezuela?" And at this point, 99% of people are already out.

Even right there, people are like, "Yeah, I'm not going to the library.

I'm not reading the newspaper." And you're this guy who goes to work and how much time do you have to talk to people about things? You have stuff to do. You can't be the guy that corners people when they're getting coffee. "Do you hear what we're doing in Nicaragua? So we're selling cocaine in Los Angeles." Madsen, the CIA is selling cocaine in Los Angeles to fund the Contras versus the Sandinistas in Nicaragua. Did you know that? You're like, uh, I have work to do. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. My own website, jorogan.com, is powered by Squarespace. So I'm not just saying this, I actually use the thing. If you've got a business, a podcast, you're selling something, you're doing a newsletter, whatever it is, Squarespace gives you everything you need. You can grab your domain, build the site, showcase your stuff, take payments, all of it. No messing around. It's simple, it works, and it makes your stuff look legit. Go to squarespace.com/rogan for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use the offer code ROGAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And so you never got to express yourself.

Yeah.

What are you gonna do, start a fucking ham radio channel? What are you gonna do? There was no way to express yourself.

That was that.

And it was, bro, if you did start a radio channel, here's the crazy thing, they would lock you up. Yeah. Do you know that? You had to have an FCC license.

What was that movie?

Yeah, Christian Slater.

Christian Slater, Pump Up the Volume. Pump Up the Volume.

Yeah. What he was doing, he was podcasting from a car before there was podcasts. This is 1990. They were chasing him down.

Yeah.

And they were trying to arrest him. He was the rebel. And wasn't he saying like, like, 17, some stuff like, go out there and live your life or something? Like, what was he saying? Did he have like a pump you up speech? Everybody was listening to this.

It wasn't one of that controversial— was like, you know, the man, you know.

Yeah, what was he saying? Like, he's, he's ranting. It's like low-level podcasting, but he might be the first podcast.

Maybe.

No, I'm like, no bullshit. Yeah, like that pirate radio in that movie might have been, you know, because it's always like one idea builds on, and then new inventions, and then builds on.

Yeah.

The one idea is this sexy rebel who's out there yelling, "Fuck the man!" And he's in a, like, a van running from the cops because they're gonna put him in a cage because he made his own radio station.

That's wild.

And that's what we're doing right now.

Yeah. There was a, yeah, I mean, I lived pre-internet, you know, and internet sort of high school, 9th grade or so, that's when it started popping off.

Podcasts show you straight up that the free market is much better than regulations by the government. Because you're never gonna get this kind of a show. If the government gets to regulate you and they tell you you can't swear, they tell you you can't be obscene, there's certain things you can't say.

Well, now it's just YouTube and Google that'll tell you that. That's what they did.

But they don't do it as much.

No, not nowhere near as much, but it's the new way to sort of combat that is demonetization.

Right, but here's the thing, The market dictates that too, because if someone else comes along and says, hey, we're not going to do that. So there's a reason why YouTube has like loosened up some of its content restriction.

Yeah, 'cause Rumble came out, Kick came out.

Yes. Also, they were wrong. Like a lot of the restrictions were during COVID and they were wrong. They were wrong. They were telling people, if you bring up the lab leak theory, we'll kick you off of YouTube.

Yeah, a lot of people. A lot of people got completely lost their channels, like lost their way to make money.

Well, you could say the earth is flat. Yeah, there's fucking millions. There's millions of flat earth videos out there. You can say Bigfoot raped my mom, you know, you could say anything. Yeah, but if you said that it might have come from a lab, yeah, you would get kicked off of YouTube.

It's so funny, we found out that's exactly what happened.

But the market sort of shifted, and that's how Rumble started getting bigger. Rumble got bigger specifically because of the fact there's pushback on YouTube, because They literally won't even let Nick Fuentes on YouTube, and he's on Rumble, and he's like their number one guy.

He's killing it on Rumble.

See, that's the thing. It's like if you hold something back, you're just going to make another version of it that opposes it, and they're going to have more energy to fight against you because you've, you've stopped the truth. Yeah, you've stopped the truth about like, not like about petty things, but really important things like how a fucking disease went through the whole world. You're literally stopping people from examining the truth, which is weird.

Yeah. There was a—

It's not good.

It was—

Real scary.

That was a scary time, just like in general to like, it was a great time for podcasting. Podcasting blew up during COVID It was huge.

It was huge time.

Everyone just stayed at home. Everyone was like, oh, what are we gonna do? We have nothing else to do except sit on the internet and listen to podcasts.

Yeah.

But yeah, it was like just a weird, you know, uncertain time. Even like physically in life it was uncertain. And then you go on the internet and it's like, oh, I could just like lose everything.

Anything.

They could just, just take it away like that. All these platforms. That's why I start— that's why I start— I'm— I do all of my own things specifically because I am terrified that my things are going to be taken away from me. Yeah. So I have my own platforms, my own festival.

Well, you were really smart about that early on with Gas Digital. Such a good idea, dude.

Thanks.

Such a good idea. And it's also like your family base— your fan base is so loyal and so rabid.

Yeah.

You know, because they're signed, they're like invested financially.

Oh yeah.

And it's a better relationship, honestly, in a lot of ways.

Well, what's funny is when we started it, it wasn't even completely necessary. What's funny is Patreon hadn't even, it existed, but it was like guitar players asking for tips. There was nobody podcasting on Patreon. We started the platform uncensored, ad-free, behind a paywall. We were unique. There was really no, Anthony Cumia did it. There was a couple people that were doing their thing.

And Anthony did it specifically because he was fired from XM.

Yeah, and he had to.

He had to.

Um, but we did, and it wasn't even like, it wasn't crazy back then. Um, but the way everything became censored and, you know, there's all these ads on YouTube. There's so much, it feels so like, um, it feels commercial. It feels like you're watching TV in the late '90s when you're watching YouTube now. Right now, more than ever, there's a need for an uncensored ad-free platform, and there's not many of them. No, 100%.

And I think you did the smartest thing by doing that. And so here's the argument. The argument is like that if it's everywhere, like if it's on YouTube and it's on Spotify, it's on everywhere, then there's more potential for growth because it's easier to access. That is true. And it's also, it's way easier to promote because people could just send each other, like it's natural.

Yeah, the algorithms will push it, which is—

yeah, there's that, but there's also sharing. Yeah, like if I have, if someone has got a good podcast, I'll share it with my friends. Like, you gotta listen, this is hilarious. and what— so that you can't do that if it's a pay platform. So like you'd have to get someone to sign up.

What's funny is we, we were so early on a lot of these things. I give myself a lot of credit here because we like— before you could screen record on your phone, we had in our app, we had a tool where you can clip clips to share them to social media. So you could do— it was like limited to like 2 or 3 clips per episode.

Oh, that's great.

It worked good. Never worked really.

Was there a time limit on the clips?

Like a minute or two.

Oh, that's a problem. That's a problem. Yeah, because like you want like at least 8. Yeah, you know, because like especially if there's a funny back and forth between you guys. Yeah, like if you're doing Legions of Skanks and you guys are going off about something. Yeah, you need a little more than a couple of minutes.

You gotta sink your teeth into it.

Yeah, otherwise that's the best way to take things out of context too.

You're telling me.

Boy, people love doing that. Yeah, they love doing that. But it's also, it's like, what are you gonna ask everybody to listen to 3 hours of a podcast?

It's crazy.

You got to expect that things are gonna get taken out of context. It's part of the game, you know, it's part of the thing we do.

Yeah, I am— and nobody really wants a context. Even when they find out the context, they've been like, well, I already— we were saying before, I've moved on from that opinion. Yeah, nobody cares. Tomorrow it's another, another day, you know. Nobody really cares about anything, to be honest with you. It's like the way that the internet has turned people into like just like whatever's in front of them, that's what they care about. I mean, the amount of things that were such a big deal a month ago, I mean, ICE was such a huge deal 2 months ago. We haven't heard anything about ICE since then. They, you know, it was the Ukraine. What happened to Ukraine? That war's still going on, I believe. Nobody gives a shit.

Still going on. It's just, it's not sexy right now.

Yeah.

You know, it's like Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, you know, season 50. Yeah. It's like, okay, we've seen every angle on rape already. It's like, It's still gonna be a big show, you know, it's still important, it's top 10.

Yeah.

But it's, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's not the number one thing that we're concerned with. Whereas when it popped off, when Russia invaded, it was like the end of the world. Yeah. And then there was people, I literally heard people saying that Ukraine should have never given up its nukes. And I was like, okay, I could see what you're saying. I could see what you're saying. Like, if they had nukes, Russia probably wouldn't invade them, but ugh. But ultimately that means we're threatening you with nukes.

That's the scariest thing.

It's fucking crazy. The whole thing's crazy. But it's also, it's like, why did this happen? Did the NATO pushing arms closer and closer to Russia have no impact on this?

Nobody can hit Texas or New York though, right? Like Hawaii's fucked.

Oh, they could hit New York.

They could hit New York?

Oh yeah, they could hit New York.

You think so? Fuck yeah.

With a nuke? Yeah, 100%.

I read something a while ago that they could only reach Hawaii. Or I guess it wasn't, it wasn't anyone. It was, um, Who was it? Was it Russia or China or something? One of them. They could only hit Hawaii.

I had a bit about it in my act and I was like, "Whew." We had a guy on that was talking about back-engineering UFO technology and that they had this idea of using it to what they would call an instantaneous delivery system of a nuclear bomb. 'Cause the way these things supposedly can travel— I'm a moron, so I don't understand anything about gravity. But what they were explaining is that if these crafts work in a way that has no normal kind of propulsion— we think of propulsion as like a jet. The fire goes out the back and the jet goes forward really fast because of that, right? What they're saying is these these beings from wherever the fuck they are, these people that have back-engineered their crafts, the way they move is not by propulsion. It's by bending space and time. It's by doing something to the gravity around it or the actual space of the universe around it where it can go to another place, like, instantaneously. So it's not like it flies. It's like it just fucking zips over to another part of the universe. and they can do it like that Tic Tac one that they, they got on radar, they got it on the visuals, like two different fighter pilots saw it and talked about it.

They have video of it. This fucking thing went from more than 55,000 feet above sea level to sea level in one second, less than a second. So it's like beep beep beep radar. It went from 50,000 feet to that. So if you could do that with a bomb, you could essentially instantaneously detonate Moscow. Well, if that's a real technology— so this is probably why these assholes are hiding all this UFO information. Yeah, because these assholes had probably— were using the— they were like, yeah, we could travel anywhere in the universe, or we could blow up China without them even knowing it's happening. Yeah, we could assure that we'll win a nuclear war. Yeah, anybody would have that technology, the ability to put something somewhere instantly, and you put a bomb in it That's crazy. Yeah, that might be what all this UFO bullshit is about.

Yeah, I mean, who knows? Who knows what's going on? I mean, like, like, obviously there's something going on, right? Obvious. Like, it's— I think that where there's smoke, there's fire, and there's too much smoke.

Stories about all these scientists that are getting whacked? No. Yeah, there's scientists that have gotten whacked and/or missing, and a couple of generals as well. That's all connected somehow or another to UFO technology and anti-gravity technology and nuclear scientists. And there's a bunch of stories that I've read about this, and some of them are like, this is like purely exaggerated, and a lot of people are— it's just they're taking that this guy committed suicide and he worked on that, and this guy went missing and he worked on that, but it's just coincidence, right? And then there's other people that go, no, no, no, no, this is— there's too many people. So now the White House has commented on it. So they're doing an investigation on this. Which makes me think, hopefully, somebody who's really fucking smart has looked at this information and said there's something there. Like, what these people were working on was very extraordinary and could disrupt a market or could be something that could be used in a weapon that would destroy another country, and so the other country sabotages it by killing scientists. That's shit that we would do.

Think how little we know. Like the amount of like, yeah, like you and I, just human, just like Americans, just the general population. Like the amount of, there's probably the craziest technology ever that the government has their hands on right now. It's like we use AI tools and it's like, I can imagine the AI that the government currently has. Right. And that's why that'll never disappear. It's because all of the governments are just sort of at a race to see who can implement the strongest AI. So I can't even imagine how crazy it is.

There was one lady that was, uh, that went missing, and there's a weird video of her because it seems like she's drunk and she's like talking about like how, you know, this technology, that it's real, but every time they— that anybody gets close to it, people stop it. And this lady has gone missing as well. So it seems like she might have had a couple of drinks or something, and then started ranting about this in some weird video call. Yeah, but listen, if I had that information and I thought that people were trying to kill me because I knew about anti-gravity technology, and I literally thought like I'm in a Russell Crowe movie and someone's trying to fucking whack me, I'd probably get drunk too. Yeah, like, what are you gonna do?

But I was—

but she went missing though.

I was talking to two nuclear scientists after my show, just these two, like, it was a couple, they were like straight-up nuclear scientists. It was Tacoma or Spokane, whatever, it's near that. Like, there's a huge, like, it's like a nuclear town. Like, everyone works in, like, nuclear science in this entire town.

Jesus.

And, uh, he was like, they were just, like, so into telling me about, like, not too much, not too in-depth, but he was like, you know, I work, like, 100 feet below the ground. It was, like, super top secret. And, um, he was like, I started asking questions. He was like, oh, I can't answer that. He was like, they've definitely tapped our phones. Are you out of your mind? You think they're like not just listening to what we're saying to people? And it was just like, fucking goddamn, dude.

I think they're listening to everything everybody's saying all the time.

They can't organize it. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it just gets stored. I don't think it's like someone's listening where they can just know every— like they have a person with a fucking earphone on listening to everything you say. Oh, Rob, write it down.

He said this. I think probably high government officials, they probably do.

Probably. But now with AI, all they would have to do is record everybody's phone all the time and then use AI to search all the transcripts and then find an audio recording of you saying this or you saying that.

We're probably 3 years away from them being able to get everything we've ever done on the internet.

Yeah, but not just that. There's also AI which could take that and then have you make phone calls to people that you don't really make.

Yeah.

So you could call up one of your friends and ask them to meet you somewhere with a bag of heroin and they would all, you know, they would know, it would like literally you'd use it to set people up.

Yeah.

You could use it to get people upset about something. You could have the AI have a fucking conversation with them.

I mean, I've been listening to AI Joe Rogan ads on the internet for about a year now where they just take your voice and they advertise products 'cause you have such a recognizable voice.

That's pretty ridiculous, right?

Yeah.

A lot of people go, do you use that? I go, no, it's AI. But the thing is, it's like, they can have it talk to you now. So it sounds like you. Yeah. You could have a conversation with you. Like you could AI Luis J. Gomez. You could talk to Luis J. Gomez and it would be like you talking to yourself. You'd probably lose your mind if you were schizophrenic.

I did something really dark and sad one day. I was super high and my mom died when I was 22 years old. And then I went, I prompted ChatGPT. I told a bunch of information about my mom and I was like, I want to have a conversation with my mom. On the other side about like what's going on in my life and my son and asked me questions. And I was like, it was— it got very— like, I got really emotional, way more than you would think. Like, I was— it was kind of just a dumb thing. I was stoned. I was like, let's see where this goes. I was— I felt like I was talking to my mom at the end of it. It was fucking really—

that's so crazy.

Yeah, really.

Here's the thing, if it gets to be a super intelligence and they program a super intelligence to behave exactly and talk exactly like your mom, and then you had conversations with her, like it knows her voice. Yeah, that would be such a fucking— if you're schizophrenic and that starts happening, that would be the trip. That would be that. That would be—

bing!

We blew the last fuse. That would be it.

Well, maybe that's what they're doing for you and me, right? Who— we have, I mean, thousands and thousands of hours recorded, right?

Oh yeah, they could have us say anything.

Well, not only just say anything, like when I die, I'm assuming the technology, forget when I die, like forget 40 years from now, like in the next few years, they can just take every opinion I've had, the way I speak, my thoughts, everything, and then they can use AI to not only just replicate what I do, but go like, well, what would he likely think? What would he likely say? If you sort of put all that data in, and then eventually it's like a little fucking box sitting on the table that my son talks to. His dad never dies. His dad's always there. I think that will be a thing that regularly is happening. You, you, I don't know if it's like uploading the consciousness or if it's the AI replicating your consciousness. I think they've talked about that for a long time, but that I think will happen unquestionably.

No doubt.

Yeah.

And soon.

Very soon.

Well, the AI that they have now, like, have you put on those Meta glasses? Have you fucked with that? The VR goggles?

Yeah.

They're pretty fucking good.

I mean, I just jerk off. That's it. I just say.

Giant vaginas? Well, not, no, it's not even a, it's, If you have porn with VR, it must be insane.

Oh, it's insane.

It is insane.

Yeah.

I can't watch regular porn anymore.

Don't say it that way.

You made me nervous.

Creepy.

I was looking this up just to see if it was still a thing. This is a William Shatner AI. He's sitting here waiting for us to ask him a question.

And he'll just answer it in his voice.

It's him. He sat there and recorded a bunch of stuff a couple years ago for this. I don't know how well it works, but.

Well, ask him this.

This is a little different though. This isn't so—

they quite—

I mean, this is just the beginning though.

Like, this is the beginning of it. So once they— but once they turn— they really turn the AI on this, it'll be like— it'll be a better William Shatner.

I mean, it looks pretty— uh, let's ask him one random question.

Um, what— didn't he have like, uh, a makeout session with a green lady on— in Star Trek?

I don't know.

I think he did. I think there was like some weird racial pushback. There was some weird— put— oh, he kissed Uhura. There was— he can't make out with an alien. No, no, no, he did make out with an alien, right? I'm pretty sure he kissed like a green lady or something, but he also kissed Lieutenant Uhura, who was a black lady. And during the time where they did Star Trek, I think this was very controversial. That's it. So that was in 1968, and this was very controversial that a white man and a black woman— by the way, she was beautiful, that lady that played Uhura. She's beautiful. And they thought it was weird. They thought it was offensive. I mean, it was like, it was a big thing. Yeah. And like, the public— I was too young, obviously, I was 1 year old, but I do remember this story.

Remember that movie Jungle Fever? It was an entire movie. The entire premise of the movie was it's A Black guy and a white girl. Interracial couple, that's a movie? That's it?

Okay, what is it called? Was the episode called Plato's Stepchildren? Season 3, episode 10, November 22nd, 1968.

Wow.

Uhura, played by Nichelle Nichols, and Captain Kirk, William Shatner. Episode's often cited incorrectly as the first interracial kiss on television. It was, however, the first instance in which a kiss between a black person and a white person on US television was ever scripted, as an earlier kiss on Moving with Nancy was unscripted. What the fuck is Moving with Nancy? What is that?

Nancy Sinatra special or something?

Nancy kissed a black guy on TV? Is that what they're saying?

That's pissing me off now.

I don't know why.

I bet she did it just to piss off Frank. Her father was not okay with that.

I bet she did it just to piss off Frank. Yeah, find out what she did. What the fuck happened?

Variety show.

So was it like her and just a singer or something? Was it a show where they would sing each other? What happened here? Sammy Davis Jr. Oh, Sammy Davis Jr. kissed her.

Oh, that's a song and dance.

That's kind of— with her? But, but is that— it says an interracial kiss. Between Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. Oh boy, he kissed, he passionately kissed his friend's daughter. Oh yeah, bro, those people were freaks back then.

That's hot.

They were freaks. This is it, that brat pack, that rat pack, those guys were animals. Look at that. Oh, that's on the cheek, bro. He kissed her on the cheek. Zoom in on that. That's outrageous. That's a nice friendly kiss. That's not a passionately kissed Let me see that. Close in on there. Yeah, he kissed her on the cheek, don't you think?

It looks like the cheek.

It looks like right here.

Yeah, a little side of the—

Yeah, a little— that's like a sweet thing.

Yeah, Italian men do that to each other.

Yeah, that's not a— that's not a kiss on the lips. Yeah, that doesn't count. I say Star Trek's the first because that was like, let's get down. Yeah, jungle boogie.

It's so nuts, dude. Yeah, I mean, my, my mom— my mom was white and my dad was like Afro-Latino, like dark-skinned like he looked black, like straight, he looked like Eazy-E. I was gonna show you a picture of my dad, it's crazy.

That's funny.

He looks straight up like Eazy-E. And it's like, yeah, I mean, that even in the '80s growing up, that was kind of like, it was weird. I remember the first time I saw an interracial couple in high school. I'm 44, I'm not that old, but like, it was weird. I remember just seeing like in like the 10th grade, this like hot white chick started dating this like football player black kid. It wasn't that regular where I grew up, and I grew up an hour outside of New York City.

Yeah, and it was controversial. It opened you up to all sorts of— like, you get yelled at by people, you get attacked. There's a lot of people that— they dealt with a lot of shit back then, man.

Yeah, well, racism is back. Don't worry.

It kind of never went away, but it comes in waves of encouragement where people think like, it's okay, it's okay to be racist, it's okay to be this, to be that.

It was a weird— it was a weird thing where it's like a lot of us were just being ironic and funny for a while. You make racial jokes, you make jokes about anything. Like, I think you could make a joke about anything. It's a comedian's job. And then it like shifted once like social media became so like big and everyone's opinion— you can anonymously just say whatever you want, dude. If you wanted to say something racist anonymously, you had to write it on a bathroom wall. You have to be like, I hate n-words, right, on the wall in a mall. You're taking a shit and then somebody else responds to it underneath it and they're like, well, yeah, I hate you, cracker. And then it goes It was always fun.

Like, bathroom walls were fun.

Oh yeah, a lot of phone number conversation.

Call this number, you give your ex-girlfriend's phone number on the wall.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, those, those are the days.

The original doxxing.

Well, it's also those like the, the— that's the original message board.

Yeah, it's the original YouTube comments, right?

That's original comments on an X post is the bathroom wall.

That's it.

And that's the only thing that's as far as it can go was maybe 12 people a day would see your shit anonymously, but it felt so good. Just N-I-G-E.

I can't remember any interracial, uh, high school. I can't remember any of them. Oh no, one. I do remember one, but I do remember there's a lot of pushback, man. Like a lot of people were like openly racist about it. Yeah, it's, uh, eventually has to go away, but it's like it's going away in waves. Like it used to be normal. Like everybody was racist. The whole world was racist.

I think everyone is bigoted. It's a little different than racist, right?

Well, everyone was tribal, right? Like you could only trust the 150 people that you lived with. You could barely trust them. You could barely trust them. They were probably trying to be the tribal chief and fuck people over and fuck the chief's wife. That shit's always gone on. But for sure, If there was a group that you didn't know and they showed up, they were there to kill you. 100%. A bunch of guys show up, there's 15 guys, they show up, they're trying to kill you.

Well, also, pre-internet, you had to coexist. The only people you could communicate with, you go to the grocery store, it's an Indian guy or a black guy or a Puerto Rican guy, it's like, no, I gotta buy a tomato. So we're just gonna do what we need to do. I'm gonna give you my dollar, you're gonna give me a tomato, and I'm gonna say, have a good day.

This is an America in a sense city in the 20th century and then the 21st century.

Yeah.

What I'm saying is we're hardwired for the olden days. Right. This is why it's so easy to get people to join a team, whether it be a Democrat or be a Republican or MAGA or whatever the fuck it is. It's so easy because people are programmed to be in tribes.

Right.

Yeah.

And they want an identity. Yeah. It's easy.

And there's an enemy. They want an enemy too. Yep.

You have a, you feel like you're on a side. You feel you don't really have to do much thinking.

Exactly.

Like, whatever, whatever they say, I agree with.

Gives you comfort that you're surrounded by other people. I used to think that when I was young, when I would watch like religious preachers on television, I was watching those like these Islamic guys and they were talking about Islam and the way the certainty in the fact that what they were saying was true, like the way they were saying like all these other religions mean nothing because Islam is the truth and they were like, yep. They're like, they believed it. Like, I'm like, it must feel great to believe something 100% like that. And to have a bunch of other people around you that also believe it 100%, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Yeah.

But we've all, the reality is no one knows about anything until you experience it.

Yeah.

So you don't really know what's going to happen in heaven, if heaven's real. You don't know any of that.

No.

But you're so convinced. And my question is, by what?

I wish I had any sort of spiritual faith.

That's what I keep saying. I wish— Come up with a good cult. I'll join it.

Doggie, I just can't. I, whatever, since I was a little kid, I remember just being a little kid and think, having the thought God's not real. And then trying, because I was raised Catholic, just suppressing it, being like, I can't think that I'm going to burn in hell if I even think the idea that God isn't real. It's like, what a weird psychotic thing to do to like a 5-year-old kid. Yeah, you know. And, um, yeah, it's like, uh, yeah, you, you sort of like that— the idea of faith, it, it actually seems like really like kind of freeing. Like the idea of like, dude, I'm gonna die and I'm gonna go to the kingdom of heaven, I'm gonna experience everything that I've ever wanted. I mean, that sounds incredible.

It's—

for me, it's like I feel like I'm counting down until I'm gonna sleep forever. Like I have nothing after. I really don't believe in any of that. When people get into like these heated, passionate like debates about certain things, like abortion's a great topic for this concept. When you're trying to convince somebody that's religious like to be pro-life, you're like, you don't understand what's going on there, dude. They believe you're murdering a baby. You're not gonna convince somebody that like, oh, well, let me try to break this down for you right now. Let me try to give you a different angle on this. No, no, they believe that that's a life at conception. They believe it's a soul. They really fucking believe that deep down. And that is like, I kind of go like, well, I respect that. Like, I'm not gonna, like, I'm pro-life, right? I was raised by women and I just kind of grew up in New York and we always sort of had that sensibility.

Do you mean pro-choice? Is that what you meant?

I'm sorry, I'm pro-choice, I apologize. But when my son was born, or even when I first saw the heartbeat, I remember I was like, that's a life right there. The heartbeat, that 6 weeks, whatever it was, I was like, that's a fucking life right there. But when you're dealing with religious people who believe that that's a soul and that that is like the second it's conceived, you're trying to convince them that it's okay to kill a baby.

Right.

And it's never gonna happen.

Yeah, no, it's never gonna happen, and I don't know who's right. That's the real problem. Like, for convenience sake and for living your life on your own terms sake. And the— see, my take on this, first of all, I'm not a woman, and if you're talking about this and there's no chance of you ever getting pregnant, that's a weird thing because you Like conceptually, yeah, that's a life, no doubt. I mean, not even conceptually, objectively, that's a life. It's gonna become a human. But who— like, who am I to say, especially in cases where like incest and rape and, you know, crazy shit, who am I to say that you have to raise that kid, that you have to— that that life has to— you have to change your body for the next 9 months, maybe irrevocably. I mean, maybe it'll just change your body forever. Maybe you'll have stretch marks forever.

Oh yeah.

Because of this. Because of this horrible thing that happened to you because everybody says that this life is precious.

Every time you got to feed at breakfast, you got to fucking—

If that was for men, if men got pregnant, abortion would be at gas stations. Fill it up and take it out. It would be, there's not a fucking chance in hell.

That's a bit.

It was just not a chance in hell that it would be a debate. Yeah, it wouldn't be a debate. If men make the laws and men could get pregnant, men would have abortions everywhere. Yeah, there's no fucking chance you'd be able to tell another man that he's gonna have to keep a baby. No.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's very complex, and I understand both sides of it, you know. I really do. I— when people say that's a life, you can't— it's like, I'm like, I really get that. And when people go like, it's a woman's body, it's her right to choose if she wants to eject this from her body before a certain time.

It's a weird thing, is like, at what point in time, like Could you stop it when it's a clump of cells? Can you stop it when it's almost a fetus? You know what I mean? It's such a human problem in that there's no, it's a weird fucking sloppy concept.

I think when it grows a nose. Yeah, before it grows a nose or fingers.

It's gonna be a kid. It's gonna be a kid that maybe wins an Olympic gold medal.

If it's got webbed fingers still.

It could be a kid that is Sabrina Carpenter and is on stage in front of all those people. You know what I mean? That's the weird thing about life. It could be somebody that changes the world. It could be.

Literally, yeah. Literally, if you look at like child development, like, um, month to month— I mean, when my son was being born, I was just like obsessively like looking at it. It starts looking like a baby way earlier than you think, and the problem is you can still abort it when it looks like a fucking baby. And that's— it's just a— it's a—

you get aborted when it is a baby. Oh yeah, in certain cases.

Well, yeah, if it's like medically—

I knew a guy, his girlfriend had a late-term abortion. It was horrible. Jesus, horrible to know that like she was showing. It was, oof.

Well, there was that one.

This was in the '90s.

There was a one video that went viral a while ago and it was like they were talking to somebody in an abortion clinic with like a hidden cell phone camera. And they were like, well, what happens if you abort the fetus, you remove the fetus and it's still alive? Like on the table? Yeah. And they were like, well, we would have to, they said extinguish life or something like that. It was like pretty fucking crazy.

Yeah.

It's like, so when the baby's out, you're gonna kill the, you're just gonna kill it. Let's call it what it is. You're gonna kill a baby. It's bonkers.

And that's why, like, you could understand why Christians would think that's demonic. Yeah.

I think anyone, anyone would think that's demonic.

You could totally understand that. And to ignore that and throw it into this, no, but I, you know, I believe in the woman's right to choose. Okay, me too. But what's that?

Yeah.

Like, what are we saying here? Like, you're going to just kill the baby when it's alive outside the womb? Is it viable? Like, could it grow up and become one of your friends? Like, what are we doing? Maybe, you know I'm saying, it could— it could— that baby grow up and just live. Yeah, and just have a wonderful life and have a great job. It's fucking weird, man, because like, what is life? And why— it's very precious to us because if we don't have it, then we don't have a say in what's going on. But we're really just a fucking bunch of atoms and particles and molecules and everything spinning around at a different frequency. That's what we really are.

Mushrooms are kicking in, Joe.

They're not even just— I'm just saying, like, we're so obsessed with life.

Yeah.

And that's why this is such a fascinating conversation. It's also a fascinating conversation because men can't get pregnant. Yeah, it's a weird—

well, I think they can, right?

Didn't they do that?

You can carry the baby, we can't get pregnant, but I think you could.

Well, they're talking— transmitter talking about getting uteruses implanted in their body and then getting pregnant and having an abortion. I want to be the first person to do that. Let's just Shows you how Travis is really healthy.

That's pretty hilarious.

It would be a good bit. It'd be something Steve-O would do.

It really would be. I'm gonna put a baby and abort it. How fucking great is that? That's funny.

Yeah, he would do it if there wouldn't be any social pushback. Yeah, yeah, that one's, you know, that's tough.

A little bit of a tough one.

He almost got tit implants.

I know, he told me that.

That's crazy.

It's not—

don't do that.

Yeah.

Ouch. You need your chest carved open.

Get a dick tattooed on his face.

Yes, he's right over his eyebrow.

He's a lunatic.

Took me like a few seconds to realize it was a dick too. Like, okay, last time I saw you, you didn't have that, right?

Yeah, he's a— he's a fucking wild one.

So that nuclear scientist thing, or the UFO scientist thing, is there anything to that? Do we know? Why don't you throw that into our ad, our sponsor Perplexity? I already did. What does it say?

Uh, it's obviously an online link.

Right. But I mean, the White House is investigating this.

No, they're bringing it up, they're investigating it because so many people are asking about it.

Oh, it's that easy? Let's find out if Michelle Obama has a dick.

Can you imagine?

If the White House is like, we have an unprecedented number of people asking this question, it's our duty to do the work for the American people.

They do. Why they all had a, like, security clearance and all happen to work in similar fields like nuclear fission or fusion.

Okay, so what ties the 11 together? Many had recently clearances or indirect access to sensitive government work, often via NASA, the Department of Energy's nuclear labs, the Air Force, or major defense contractors. Their deaths or disappearances occurred between 2022 and early 2026, clustered enough in time to draw political and media attention. The White House has ordered agencies such as FBI, NASA, the Department of Energy, and the Department of War to perform link analysis to see if there's any pattern beyond coincidence. So one of them was real weird, where there was like a lady who was hiking, and she was with a bunch of friends. Her friend turned around and asked her a question, She talked to her, and then she turned around again, and she was gone. And they have no idea what happened. They never found a body. They brought the dogs in. The dogs couldn't find her. Just gone.

That's it.

But here's my question. If I was her and I thought that they were trying to whack me, and I was going hiking with my friends, and I was at the back of the line, that's where I'd be if I was gonna make a run for it, right? If I thought all these people were bringing me up there, these fucking and fellow scientist to chuck me off the cliff. I might be in the back, and then I might, if I'm paranoid, maybe I ate an edible before I went on this hike to be a little closer to nature, and I'd look at that person in front of me, I'm like, I'm gonna wait until they turn that, right around that turn, and I'm fucking gone.

Like Homer Simpson into the bushes. Pow!

And then she just fucking booked it down that hill and hopped in her car, got an Uber waiting for her, disappeared. Case you're thinking of is Monica Jacinto-Reyes, 60-year-old aerospace engineer linked to NASA, JPL, advanced rocket engine materials research. She disappeared on June 22nd, 2025, while hiking in the Angeles National Forest, Los Angeles County, on a well-traveled trail. I know where that place is. I've been to that spot. Reports say she was hiking with at least one friend companion. The friend was roughly 30 feet ahead, turned to check on her, saw her smile and wave that she was fine, that a short time later looked back again and she was gone. Despite intensive searches, no confirmed trace of her has been found, and her case is now one of the central examples of missing or dead scientist cluster being reviewed by federal agencies. Yeah, that's weird.

She disappeared. She, she was like, fuck this. She saw all these other scientists being murdered and she was like, I'm out, right?

Because if you were a scientist, you'd probably be paying attention to other scientists getting whacked.

Oh yeah, on the same projects, especially if somebody started talking.

You're in an empty office, you're in there, you're in the coffee station and someone's like, did you hear what happened to Ted? Ted's dead.

He shot himself in the head twice from long range.

Wait a minute, anti-gravity Ted? Anti-gravity Ted is dead.

He killed himself with a sniper rifle. It was pretty crazy.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I'm going hiking with Monica. I don't fucking trust Monica.

Fuck that.

Monica's trying to kill you. I don't trust out there hiking and Monica turns and waves at her.

I don't trust hiking. She was probably fucking killed by a bear or a mountain lion.

You could get— you could get got.

That's crazy.

I don't know, people like him— his brother almost got killed by a mountain lion and had this crazy story about it. And he's like a distance runner. He's one of those ultramarathon guys.

Yeah.

And his brother told this video about like what had happened to him. He was running down the road and it was like dusk out, like starting to get dark, and he saw these eyes, these glowing eyes. In the bushes, and he yelled at it because he thought it was a coyote. And it stands up and it's a fucking mountain lion. And so then it starts chasing him, and he goes, I couldn't have used pepper spray because if I did, I would have sprayed myself because it was that close. Wow. He goes, I yelled at it, I kicked rocks at it, it kept— and he goes, I just ran. He goes, I think the thing that might have saved me was a bunch of dogs were barking.

Wow.

And it might have thought the dogs were out there.

And you're not out running a mountain lion.

No. No, it was running behind him but not like 100% committed to killing him yet.

Wow, that's scary. Yeah, nature's fucking scary.

And people like, we need to make an overpass in Los Angeles near these homes so the mountain lion can get across the fucking track. No, any retard mountain lion that goes across the 405 should get obliterated. That's, that's nature. That's nature. Hey, you thought that fucking semi wasn't dangerous, you retarded cat? That's a retard cat. That cat, probably his brother fucked his sister and that's how he was born and now he's a dumbass and he's supposed to get taken out by a Subaru. Did you ever see that?

It was like all these inbred tigers.

Yeah. Oh, white tigers.

Yeah, dude, and they were all like fucking goofy.

They have one at the Austin Zoo.

Retarded tigers.

I went to visit the Austin Zoo and you looked at them, you're like, hey, what's going on?

Yeah, dude, their tongues are hanging out.

Yeah, they're goofy looking. A bunch of those white ones are inbred because that's a weird genetic thing, I guess, to have a white one. One.

Cute though. I took my son to that Tiger— not the Tiger King, but it was the other guy, the one who's in jail for tax evasion now.

Tiger King's in jail for murder.

Yeah, no, no, no, it was one of the guys—

not for murder, but for like trying to get someone murdered.

The other guy, what the fuck's his name? He was the one who had all the girlfriends.

Oh, the guy ran the little cult? Yeah, cult going on.

Yeah, dude, I brought my son there and it was him, dude. He came out when they presented the elephant. It was Um, why am I blanking on his name? Doc Antle. Yeah, yeah, he brought the elephant out himself. It was, dude, it was such a fun show. Like, there was like a half day, it was like 4 or 5 hours.

He went to jail for what?

Tax evasion.

Ah, these fucking pay your taxes people. Yeah, it's the dumbest way to get got.

Yeah, it's crazy. Oh, and while— yeah, money laundering charge. I'm sorry, money laundering.

Yeah, wildlife trafficking and money laundering. That's a lot different than not paying your taxes.

They have all of these baby tigers that they bring out, but they only have like 2 adult tigers. So what are they doing with these baby tigers?

We'll go back to that. Hold on, make that larger. What does it say here? It says 12 months for pleading guilty for— in a conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act and launder more than $500,000 for what he believed to be an operation to smuggle illegal immigrants into the United States across the Mexico border. Oh, this is a lot different than that? Like, he was getting illegal immigrants across the border for money.

He was— yeah, he was shipping them.

That's crazy. So that's not just like wildlife stuff and taxes. Like, this guy was like illegal immigrant trafficking.

Yeah, this guy was a bad dude, probably. But he did have a bunch of like just a sweet cult going on. Young hot chicks. I knew a girl that I dated who went and interviewed, and she was like, it felt like I was interviewing for porn. I showed up and it was like, oh no, the other girls were like, oh, you're gonna have to like be a part of this.

Yeah, well, the thing about this guy—

but for a baby tiger, dude, I gotta be honest with you, they're really cute.

They're adorable.

I get it. Women are so fucking dumb. They're like, baby tigers? I'll suck his dick.

Fine. Well, I think they just want to belong to something, and this guy comes along and he's charismatic, and you belong to his little family. Family of 5 girls, they're all hanging out together blowing this one fat guy. I mean, Mexicans and murdering baby Dagger. Well, that's the thing about those kind of guys. This is why I was gonna say about the smuggling in the Mexicans. Those kind of guys are never happy with whatever they've gotten away with. They always want to keep pushing. Yeah, you know, he was not happy that he's an ugly guy with a cult, you know, of hot chicks.

He did it.

And tigers.

Yeah, you're a millionaire, you have tigers and hot chicks, and you're all you need.

You're in a TV show, you're good, you're good. You don't have to smuggle in the Mexicans too. But those kind of guys are always— they just can't stop pushing. Yeah, can't stop pushing.

Yeah, I think it's whatever it is, you, you, whatever level it is, you always want to level up no matter what. No matter what. Bobby Kelly said that to me about Louis back in the day. He was like, you know, because we all, we're all, everyone's insecure, comedian, everyone in New York's insecure, everyone in LA and Austin, you guys fucking, you guys are, you guys fucking love life, you're just living life to your fullest. Everyone in New York's like, I'm gonna kill myself, I hate fucking life, it sucks.

I think it's the environment.

Yeah, what's a rough city? It's a really rough city.

It's a great city. It's awesome.

Oh, it's amazing.

I love cities in general. It's a weird concept, shoving a bunch of people way too close to each other for long periods of time. It has an effect.

It's also like, uh, it's just so— it's a rough city, dude. It's even when— even on like the highest level, like if you're doing well, yeah, you still gotta fucking walk up those subway stairs and it's just like just hot air in the summertime down if you try to take the subway or you know, sitting in New York traffic or just like crazy homeless people walking around. You gotta like really want to be there to stand it. I, I did it for 20 years. I moved to the suburbs during the pandemic, um, and I love New York. I still love New York. I go to New York a few times a week still. But it is, uh, it is definitely a young man's city where you gotta like, you gotta be there to like, I'm trying to become the best comic or a dancer or work on Wall Street or whatever it is.

Like, that's true, but I know a lot of old people that love it too, man. They'll never leave. They love it.

Well, they used to the life.

They love the energy. There's just people around them all the time. Yeah, something going on everywhere you look. You get food at 3 o'clock in the morning. You could— I mean, as far— if you're a city person like Ari, like, it's the greatest place on earth. Yeah, there's no place like New York City.

Ari spends— I don't even know how much on rent, but probably $50,000 a month for a room where you can touch all the walls. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's stupid. It's stupid. And now if you're rich and you own property and you don't stay there, they're gonna tax you more. There's a new thing that— Really? —Mamdani just came out with. And everyone's like, yeah, fuck the billionaires. Like, okay, fuck the billionaires until it's fuck the thousandaires.

It's not even just billionaires. Like, we're talking about— you don't have to be particularly wealthy to own property. Like, it's a good investment with the money that you have. Right.

But this particular bill is about more than $5 million valued homes. Homes. So if you have an apartment in New York City, it's worth more than $5 million, you get taxed more. And he's like saying it won't be that big a deal and it'll give the city $500 million in extra revenue that they could use for all kinds of things that they want to do. Which is great if you've cut out all the fraud. But you haven't. And so you're not even concentrating on the fraud. You're not even admitting the fraud exists. You're not even admitting the waste exists. How about you tell us where all the money to NGOs went? How about you tell us that? How about you tell us where all the homeless money went? What'd you spend it on? There's all these homeless people. It seems like no— someone didn't do a good job and got a lot of money. What happened? And you want more money? That's the crazy answer.

And it's also like the idea that rich people are inherently like privileged. It's very bizarre. Like, I'm not rich, but I do pretty well. Like, I do, I do better than, you know, much better than the average American financially, you know. A lot of people would consider me be, you know, pretty well to do. But like, I grew up welfare, drug addict mother, dad stabbed when I was 4 years old. I had to fucking— I spent 15 years doing comedy, making $0, investing into this thing to hopefully one day on the other side of it be able to reap the benefits of it. So now that I've finally broken through to the other side, you're like, oh, well, no, you don't deserve all that money. We deserve some of that money.

That's crazy. Yeah. There's a weird concept in this country, and it's because of the billionaire class. So there's a level of the game where they've passed so far. See, if everybody only got— this is like what people would like to say, you know, being a millionaire is fine, nobody should be a billionaire, we should have a cap on wealth. The problem with that is you're gonna also have a cap on motivation. Yeah. So a lot of these people are fucking psychopaths. A lot of these people that run these corporations are fucking psychopaths, and they work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, and the only reason why they do that is 'cause they know that they can make $100 billion if they do that. And if you stop that, you're gonna stop iPhones. You're not gonna have Lenovo laptops. You're not gonna have any of these things. If you— if that's where it's weird for people, like, you're not gonna have an Amazon unless you have a guy who's a billionaire. Like, it's not gonna— see, the thing is, people love— no, it's not fair. You're right, it's not fair. And here's the thing, would it be— it is fair, though.

It is fair. Life is kind of fair in a weird way.

Oh, please, depending on how you treat your employees. Okay, that's where we decide whether or not it's fair.

So you're saying that Amazon doesn't treat their employees well?

I hear that a lot. I hear that a lot too. I don't know if it's true, but what I do know is that there's a lot of fucking complaints. And if there's a lot— where there's smoke, probably some fire. I know that there's like some efficiency things where you have like a clock ticks off, like if you order a fucking a box of legal pads. Yeah, you know, those little notebooks. You have to— this guy has to get that in the box in like 30 seconds, whatever the fuck it is. So he has to run around. Like, people are literally like moving quickly around the warehouse.

They're like— you hear stories, and once again, you have to take everything with a grain of salt. Like, employees become bitter sometimes, you know I'm saying? Like, most people hate their boss.

True. But that job does sound like it sucks, and it sounds like you're asking people to run around because you want to make the most money possible. Possible, but you're paying them not that great. Like, that's a weird one because you're also setting up the inevitable, which is robots. They're gonna be able to do that way easier and quicker. They're gonna know exactly where the product is. They're not gonna have to look on their fucking little iPad. Yeah, they're gonna know exactly where it is. They're gonna go right to it, package it. They're gonna print out instantaneously.

They're never going to the bathroom, never, never gonna take a leak.

They don't need food.

Nope. They never complain.

You're fucked no matter what, because they're gonna lay off a bunch of people. There's no if, ands, or buts.

Oh yeah, that is gonna be really effective. You're talking about how AI and robots are gonna affect certain industries, driving, factory workers, things like that. That's all just going away.

Yeah, that's the real threat to your job, not the billionaires. The thing is, you see a guy, whether it's Elon Musk or someone, I think Elon's supposedly worth $800 billion now. That's it? And people just get really angry. They really get upset, like, and think about how much that would help if he gave his money away. And I get what you're saying, but the problem is, give the money away to who? Right. Give the money away to the people that have fucked up the money that we've already given them? Like, you got to be honest about— look, the idea is great. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Elon Musk just gave away $100 billion and we completely fixed all poverty and homelessness is gone?

No more food problems.

Everyone, no starvation.

The idea that throwing money at homeless people is just gonna fix the problem. Exactly. I mean, I'm a— believe me, I have empathy. I'm not going like, "Ah, fuck the homeless." I don't have that attitude at all, but at the same time, it's like, wherever you go, there you are.

The idea of giving the government money to fix things is insane.

Oh, that's crazy. That's insane. That's actually— if you ever try to—

That's why this tax system is crazy.

If you ever try to go to a government building, you see the inefficiency. If you just try to call to get some information about your taxes, if you try to call the IRS, you see the inefficiency, you're like, there's no fucking way, dude. And it's just honestly, it's designed to be that way. It's designed to be really intricate and difficult. And there's a lot of people that have to get paid. So it's like that. And that's why I was so excited about Elon and Trump getting together and doing the Doge. Yeah, yeah, Doge. I was like, what a great idea. Two real brilliant business minds trying to figure out government efficiency and trying to save us money. I was like, they're going to do it.

And of course nothing happened. Well, some things happened. A lot of things did get shut down and it also opened up a lot of people's eyes to the understanding of what an NGO is and where the money goes. And when people found out how many NGOs there are and how much money gets spent, they're like, wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Can we get an accounting of this stuff? Like, this sounds nuts. There's so much money that's being sent out to these nonprofits and these organizations. Like, did you see here when Spencer Pratt was on the podcast? No, I didn't. He's running for mayor of New York— or excuse me, of Los Angeles. And one of the things that he was talking about was the fire aid. So the money that they generated, over $100 million was generated for the people that lost their homes in the Pacific Palisades fire. All of it went to these NGOs. Right. Like it went to, he said, what did he say? 20 different, how many different? 200 different? I think it was 200 different— 200 different nonprofits got the money that was supposed to go to the houses, the people that lost their house.

Yeah, $100 million, and they just divvied it up.

And how much of that money, 20%, goes to actual people?

The rest is— they don't even know how many people are getting benefit from it.

Yeah, it's— I mean, if you— there's like lists of like charities and nonprofits and how— what the percentage is that actually goes to people.

Same They divvied it up between 200 different nonprofits. How about give it to the people? Yeah. Because the thing about these nonprofits, they rely on that kind of money in order to pay their staff. And some of these, you find out some of these people that are working for these government agencies, another thing that Spencer has uncovered, there's like a ton of them that are making more than half a million dollars a year.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But there's a weird thing with like the nonprofits, like all right, if you have to attract like a CEO from like a major corporation to come and make this nonprofit efficient and to really generate as much revenue as possible? Like, if they're making more money because they have a really competent CEO and a really competent staff, and only 20% of it is going to help people, but it's still 200% of what the next company is doing, I guess it's worth it, right?

Well, the thing is, they're not a company. They're the government. So they're not held accountable. They're not supposed to be efficient. They don't have to be profitable. They don't have to do like a good audit of their business. This is one of the things that Elon said. If any of these fucking companies, he's like, if any one of them that like where they just sent out billions of dollars, they have no accounting and no receipts for it, he goes, if you are a part of a publicly traded company, you would be tried. You would— your company would lose its credit. Yeah, your company would fall off the stock market. It would be like a bullshit company now, and you would go to jail. —like, you can't—that's totally illegal. But in government, it's standard practice. So the inefficiency is built in. I was reading something about California. Tell me if this is true. They were talking about California's—see, put this into perplexity—California, the percentage of people that live in California went up by a small amount, but the percentage of government went up by a large amount. This percentage of people with government jobs. Hmm, went up considerably, whereas the population didn't go up.

I don't know if this is true, this is why I want to have it looked up, but when you just stop and think about the fact that it's a business to hire people to be inefficient, and that it's within your best interest to not just never be efficient and never solve the problem, because if you do you're out of a job, but also to make the problem bigger every year so you could hire more people and get a bigger raise and a bigger thing. And that's why this homeless thing in California, it's like more than $24 billion they spent on the homeless.

On what though? What are they doing?

Exactly. What are they— exactly. So they've tried to get audits and Newsom has vetoed the audits. Wow. Which is crazy that they could say no, you can't find out if any fraud or any waste has happened with tax dollars. No, we're going to stop that investigation.

Well, that's crazy. Yeah. And that's— I would vote for almost anybody who, if they just said, I'm going to cut your taxes in half, they have my vote.

The problem is what are you doing with the taxes? There should— if AI has a role in solving this, what AI should be able to do, it's like we should say, yeah, you tax me a fair amount. I'm happy to pay taxes. If it's going to public schools and public roads, I absolutely feel very happy to contribute and I want the world to be a better place because of my tax dollars. But also, where's it going? Where's it going?

Bomb schoolchildren overseas and to fund wars that most people don't want.

And transgender dancing in Indonesia. Is that a thing that's happening?

Oh, there's weird shit.

They spent $250 million doing transsexual operations on animals. To experimenting on animals to turn them trans. No, no, no bullshit, no bullshit. $250— I think it was $251 million. Oh my God. Yeah, they spent $2 million giving cocaine to dogs. California's population has dipped slightly since 2020, while government jobs have been one of the few areas of job growth. So yes, government employee employment has generally increased even as the population growth stalled or reversed. So what is the percentage? So total job growth has slowed sharply. Statewide employment grew by, uh, only about, uh, half of a percent in 2023, then actually fell slightly down about 100, uh, 11,200 jobs or 0.1% in 2025. State overall is only a few percent in jobs compared with before the pandemic, and it lags What's the national growth rate? So how many more jobs? What's the percentage more? I think that's more what they're looking for there. Is it because people are leaving California? So it says in 2025, private employers, there's a lot of that, cut about 31,000 jobs while government employers added about 20,200 jobs driven mostly by a gain of 45,800 local government positions. So they added 45,000 government positions while private employers cut 31,000 jobs.

So they just keep making the government bigger. So the economy fuels the government, the government controls the economy, it's all nuts.

Yeah, I mean, when you say government job, that's like people who, like a clerk that works in like the courthouse, that also counts, right?

Yeah, but they also do weird shit, like they have to have new regulations They have to have people that make regulations now and justify their jobs if there's a lot of government jobs. So then you get wacky rulings like California recently, they're banning blackjack in casinos. No more blackjack. Why not blackjack? Putting a foot down. No more blackjack in River City. Why, why no blackjack? I don't understand it. No one understands it.

It doesn't make any fucking sense.

You can play poker, you can't play blackjack? How about fuck you, stay away from me? Yeah. How about if I earn I won $2,000 in a week and I want to take $500 and go to the casino and try to win more or lose it.

How about fuck you? Stay the fuck out of it.

You leave me the fuck alone. You're just another human being. You should have no opinion. Well, they want to—

the government wants to get their hands in every vice, right? Because they know, they know we can't, we can't give up our vices. We can't give up alcohol and weed and cigarettes and gambling and prostitution.

They're not getting rid of gambling. That's the thing. They're still paying— the casinos still pay taxes, right? You just eliminated one of their fucking ways to make money.

Is there— was there a public reason why they've said it? I'd like to find out.

Yeah, let's find out what's the public reason.

Blackjacks my only game. That's it. That's like— that's—

you know what you're doing, or you're a wild motherfucker who hits 17?

No, I'm good. I'm good at blackjack. I mean, I'm good. I'm— I know the rules of the book, and I play by the rules, and I sit down at the table expecting to lose everything, and if I don't, I'm happy. That's it. That.

Yeah, Jamie won some money, Shane won some money. Blackjack? Yeah, they were doing pretty good. Watching Dana White do it gives you fucking anxiety though, dude.

Just like crazy bets?

He was $600,000 down when I met him there. I was like, dude, this is crazy. And I was watching these people. That kid Aiden Ross, you know, that streamer? Yeah, that kid lost a million bucks. And just like, lost a million? Like, how much is he making?

I take $500 out every time.

According to this, it was banned from card rooms, not casinos. It's kind of a different thing.

Oh, that's right, it is a card room where they play poker. That's right, because their casinos are different. Their casinos are only like in, uh, and that's what this whole thing— Indian places, right? It says this whole reservations.

Yeah, same thing in Jersey, New York.

Yeah, the '90s. So that's right. But what is— wait a minute, what's the Bicycle Club Casino? Isn't that a casino? I don't know who runs it. But it's on— it's in California, like it's in like Orange County. Bicycle Club Casino. So the reason why I know about that place is I used to go there to watch professional pool tournaments, and then that was the first time I realized like, oh, there's a casino in California, like right off the highway. I think it's off— what highway is that off of? Of, but it's like if you're going down to like doing a gig in San Diego, you'll pass by this place if you go down one of the roads. 710? Yeah, there you go. But, uh, so what is that? Do they have blackjack there? Because I know they had poker there. You know, Ari Shaffir, during his early days of comedy, would make a living going to poker tournaments, playing. Yeah, that's how good he is at poker. Really? Oh yeah, he would snap off poker tournaments. All the time. Some people are good.

I like— it's just a patience thing.

Well, he just plays it like for him it was a job. Yeah, he's like, I play it like it's a job. Yeah, he's like, these people all get drunk and they all get high and they're all fucking stupid, they make dumb choices. He goes, I play smart against idiots and they get drunk and I win money.

It says it's technically a poker card room. This says they have blackjack, but maybe they fell in the rules where they're not allowed to have it now too, right?

3-card poker and baccarat. We were talking about baccarat. Baccarat the other day, because that's what Dana White's moved to, because you get more money.

Is that like— it's kind of like blackjack, but no, I'm thinking of the Asian one. What's the Asian one? I have no idea what baccarat is. It's 3 cards you got to get.

How many cards is baccarat? I have no idea how to play it. I don't know what it is. I've just heard it before. Yeah, I've heard that name before. I've never looked into it.

Yeah, I mean, I look at it as like going to— like, I don't like baseball, but like I go to a baseball game and eat hot dogs and drink beer. It's like the same thing as casino. Like, I'm not a big gambler. I'm like, I'm just gonna drink and I'm gonna have fun.

Hang out with a chick. Like, it just seems like you can't win. No. And it's also, what are you doing? What are you doing, just rolling dice every day? That's crazy. That's a— you're spiking your adrenaline every day rolling dice for your fucking mortgage.

Yeah, it's just a— it's just a— it's a game with stakes.

We— baccarat is a comparing card game played between two hands, the player and the banker. Each baccarat coup, round of play, has three possible outcomes: player— player has the higher score, banker and tie.

Okay, it's one quick bet and you can bet up to $500K per hand, I think. And then you can also tie, so you don't lose. It's not a guaranteed win or lose.

Oh my God, big swings, big swings, big fast swings. Have you played it?

No, but I watch people play these games and—

oh, look, I admire their balls. Yeah, especially poker players. Like, you got to be a smart motherfucker to win those those big World Series of Poker things, make a bunch of money playing poker.

Yeah, that was, uh, one of my favorite scenes from Rounders where they, they talk about how, uh, I always use that like analogy in life where they talk about, um, people like, oh, they think it's luck, they think that, you know, it's the luck of the draw. And it's like, what was about— if it was luck, why is it the same 8 guys at the final table of the World Series of Poker every single year? Exactly. It's like, you're not playing the cards, you're playing the game, you're playing each other. I kind of like look at that like in life, and I'm like, it's like the cards don't really matter as much as how you play them, you know?

Yeah, it's a complicated game. It's— and but why is that okay, but blackjack isn't? Like, who fucking says? Like, says who? Says who? Why? Why? You know what I mean? Why? Why more regulations? I'll tell you why. Because they have to justify all these fucking extra jobs. Mm-hmm. That's a lot of where regulations come from, and it's also— it's fun. You could tell people what to do. No more flavored Zins.

Yeah, there's like all these like just like weird things that don't— like there's like weird laws. I live in Bergen County, New Jersey, and it's like, um, they have blue laws still. I don't know if you know what that is.

Oh yeah, those are the best.

Sunday, Sunday, no, like no, you can't buy clothes, you can't buy like furniture.

You can't buy clothes? Can't buy clothes on Sundays.

Walmart, I swear to God, Walmart.

What if you shit your pants and you're new to town? You're fucked.

You gotta walk around and smell like shit. But Walmart in, uh, New Jersey, they rope off the clothing section. They have it set up to where like you literally can't go past it. You still buy food, but you can't go to the clothing section.

When I was a kid, there was no alcohol for sale on Sundays in Massachusetts. Yeah. And so we had to go to New Hampshire to get beer. So we'd make what we call a packy run because they would call them package stores. And you know, with that Boston accent, mush, you want to go to the packy? Yeah. And we— everyone's gonna be drunk. Yeah, everybody was mush. Mush. There was a time, this was a Newton North thing, and people from Massachusetts, I think maybe people still use this, but they would call, instead of dude, it would be mush. Mush. Everybody was mush. Mush, we going? Mush, we going out? Like girls would say it to you. Mush, you taking me out? It was weird. And it's only this one part of the city had mush. Like my part didn't have mush, but a few people tried it out. It started catching on with my part of the city, Newton North— I was in Newton South. Newton North, everybody was mush. It was like everybody's neck— it was weird, like a virus of like language went through the entire city.

Dude, thick accents from like certain American cities on women, just so unattractive. That's a rough one.

Boston, you gotta be really hot to bypass that accent.

Philly, you meet a girl from Philly—

it's a rough one. Hard girls, but probably a lot of fun. Oh yeah. So we would have to drive to New Hampshire. So we'd have to drive an hour and a half to go get booze.

Yeah. No, that exists in certain places still. In New Jersey, it's like you can't, yeah, it's gotta be a liquor store specifically. You can't buy beer in a supermarket. I grew up in the suburbs in New York, so you could buy beer in the supermarket. They made it where you couldn't buy wine for a while, then for a couple years you could buy wine. It's all these dumb fucking laws and rules.

They're all Chick-fil-A laws.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Chick-fil-A is so silly. They take Sundays off for the Lord. That's crazy. Like, bro, you're grinding chickens up with titanium and aluminum in it.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but it's delicious. It's fucking delicious.

Goddamn, it's delicious. If you make it—

if you just make a delicious sandwich, I don't care what your beliefs are.

It's so delicious that even gay people eat there. Think of that. Yeah, all the shit that guy's talked about the gays— the gay people like, put it aside and have chicken, whatever. The chicken, he's just a bitch. But they got— what is that weird ingredient that we found out was in the, uh, the bread? It was something cuckoo. Murky, right?

Yeah, it's aluminum something or other, but it's in a lot of things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's in there.

It's in there.

I've seen something about the blue lot.

You can't buy a car on Sunday in Texas.

That's hilarious. That's wild. Yeah, it's just so weird. That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah.

What's funny is, so there's a mall in New Jersey, the Mall— not Mall of America, American Dream Mall. Huge, huge, huge mall. Like one of these like super malls, right? Like, you know, and there's a water park inside. There's a— there's a water park. Oh yeah, there's a ski— um, you can learn skiing. It's like a fake ski hill. That's a fake snow hill?

Yes, year-round.

You take ski and snowboard lessons.

Oh, that would help so much.

It's so cool, dude. It's, it's really cool. They got like, you know, a bunch of escape rooms. It's just a massive, massive mall.

Yeah, it is. That's nuts.

Yeah, inside, dude, they got a water park. They got Nickelodeon Studios. There's like a theme park inside of the mall. It's a crazy mall. And they just said, "Fuck it, we're opening Sundays." There's a big sign right on the side of it, it's like, "We're open Sundays, we don't care." And Paramus is suing them. Paramus is one of the biggest shopping cities in the country, I believe.

Can you imagine the government is saying you can't do business with a bunch of people that wanna come to your business? Crazy. Because it's a different day. Yep. Fuck you.

But what's funny is, it's not the government. I looked into this, 'cause I was going like, "What the fuck's going on here?" The people, all these old fucking people that have been living in this community forever, they go to a vote and every year they go, no, no, no, we don't want traffic. We want Sundays in Bergen County to be fucking relaxing and nice and beautiful because there's no taxes, I think. But I believe to this day on clothing, there's no taxes in Jersey. So we would do our school shopping in Jersey when I was growing up. We would just drive 30 minutes to Bergen County and go to the mall. Oh, interesting. And you save money on taxes. So yeah, but yeah, that mall was just like, fuck it. And then a huge sign, I'm talking about like the mall's so big, the sign, I don't even know, like I don't even know how you would make a sign this fucking big, but it's just draped down the sign, down the side, "We're open on Sundays." They didn't give a fuck. So are they getting sued now? They're getting sued by Paramus.

I bet they're gonna win. 'Cause it doesn't make sense. That law's stupid. Do you need business? Yes. Is the economy down? Yes. Wouldn't it be better if people had the option to be able to go to the fucking mall on Sunday? Especially somebody who works every fucking day. Yeah. Maybe they have to work Saturday as well, and Sunday's their only day off. How about let them go there to buy some pants? Yeah, fucking control freak.

Buy a fucking hat.

What's wrong with you? We're the government, we got guns, you can't shop here. Fuck you, man. That's the problem, is the problem is these fucking dipshits just keep adding more and more regulations. Yeah, it's dumb. What else can't you do in Texas on Sunday? What was that one that was dumb that you just said? Can't buy a car. Can't buy a car.

You couldn't sell things on consecutive weekend days, so everybody just sort of pick Saturday, it says.

Huh, that's ridiculous.

You can't buy liquor on Sundays here, Phil, in Texas. Yeah, you can in a restaurant but not at a store.

So at the supermarket, what do they do? They say we can't sell you that because it's Sunday? You can purchase the Lord's Day. We can't sell— we could sell you beer, you could drink yourself to death on some hooch. They give you some wine.

Like, you go to one city, it's like that, like it's so strict. Then you go to like New Orleans And like, they're like, they just have like people hand you a beer at a window. You just walk down the street, you're partying in the streets. Like, it's such a weird like differentiation between like each jurisdiction.

Yeah, we were doing a gig down there and the guy who was our driver, he was telling me about how he went somewhere else and the cops pulled him over because he had an open drink and he was walking down the street. And the cop goes, where are you from? And he goes, New Orleans. He's like, yeah, yeah, you can't do that anywhere else. Like, that thing that you do there— Vegas, you can do it in Vegas.

Can you?

You can watch them chew the beer? Yeah. Okay, that's good. I think you could do it on 6th Street in Austin. Can you? I think— nope, you can't. I think people do it. People definitely do it. They definitely do it. I've seen them.

Yeah, I don't think you're allowed to.

Well, is there any enforcement of that law?

That's probably not the main thing they're worried about, I don't think, most days.

Boy, a lot of sloppy fights on 6th Street. There's a—

there's entire YouTube and Instagram pages dedicated to 6th Street fights. Just brutal. I saw— I saw one. I don't know if it was 6th Street, but I saw one where there's a dude who obviously had like wrestling experience. I mean, dude, he suplexed this dude. He paralyzed the guy. Oh God, he suplexed the guy.

Guy on the concrete, completely laid out.

Completely. Jesus Christ. And it's like, goddamn, dude, just like that, two lives over, right? This guy, he's now in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. This guy is going to fucking jail. Jail. That's that. Oh God, over not being able to control your emotions.

Yeah, no, you're not allowed to do that in Austin, only on like certain events when it's like a festival or something.

God, booze is so bad for people. Yeah, booze and being a young man and being foolish. Ego. Yeah, ego. Just the need to prove yourself. Also, like, you're a wrestler, you really know how to wrestle, you're gonna piledrive this dude into the concrete.

It's weird because it's usually— it's guys that don't know how to fight that are doing stupid shit. Guys that know how fight.

Typically the other guy had it coming. I don't know what happened, but no one has that coming. But I mean, maybe he started the fight. I don't— you know, I shouldn't have said that in common, had it coming. But having any kind of an altercation on the concrete is so fucking dangerous. Yeah, dudes die all the time when they get KO'd. And most guys that— especially if guys sucker punch guys and they just fall back and the whole weight of their body bangs off the back of their head. It is so devastating. You might as well hit them with a fucking giant metal crowbar. You might as well. Yeah, it's worse than getting hit with a baseball bat, probably. That fall's so scary, and I've seen it so many times, man, online.

It's just 6 feet straight back, your head just cracks on the concrete.

Yeah, it's all that leverage from all of your weight. It's like a whip on the back of your head. Head. That happened. Heads crack wide open, man.

There's like a guy who just got in trouble for like just pushing some dude, just having a bad day, just push this old guy to the ground. Oh, guy cracked his head on the floor. Yeah, yeah, I saw that. And the guy was like, he— that's what— that was his argument, or his defense was like, I was having a really bad day. Oh Jesus Christ, fucking nuts, dude. People are insane. I know.

How about the people that push people in front of subways? How fucking psycho is that? Yeah, there's people wait. They wait for a subway to come in and they want to push somebody in front of it just to watch. Just— and then you have to like stand around hoping that one of those people isn't here while you're ready to get on your train.

Yeah, in a place like New York or, you know, uh, you know, really urban sort of environment where there's fucking lots of crazies walking around. Yeah. Um, yeah, you got to really just keep your eyes open, man. Head on a swivel.

Be ready to sprawl.

Yeah, don't fall asleep. You might get lit on fire. That happens, right? That's happening. All the time. That happened, I guess it is just the trends, but it happened like 3 or 4 times over the course of a year. It was like homeless people lighting other homeless people on fire.

The crazy thing is like homelessness and crime are New York City's 2 number 1 problems that keep you unsafe. Those are the 2 that keep you unsafe. Not a mention. Not a mention. It's like, we need more tax money. You should— don't say you're going to use that to open 'Put up grocery stores.' There's grocery stores already here, motherfucker. What you need to do is stop all these crazy motherfuckers lighting people on fire, pushing people in front of trains. Like, clean it up. Yeah. And then the world would be perfect.

Yeah, most of the time you hear about those people, like, they, uh, they're like, 'They've been arrested 93 times for violent crimes.' Yeah, but the 92 times, you know, they—

the last one was a mistake. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty fucking goofy that—

Can I see a little bit of that?

Get some of that. People have that many arrests and they just let them right back up. Cheers, sir. Cheers, my friend.

Hey, you are—

hmm, yeah, it's crazy. It's like, you know, you want to be nice, you want to be kind, you want to give people the benefit of the doubt, you want to give people a second chance, you don't want to put people in jail, the prison system is horrible. But also, when somebody gets arrested 93 times, take a hint.

Yeah, okay, there's bad apples, but then like somebody will like, you know, for tax evasion, look at 30 years in prison or something like that. Like, it's such a weird, bizarre system that we have, right?

Released 93 times for stabbing people. Yeah, you know, but if you insider trade, but lock that motherfucker up.

That's it, dude. I know there's nothing worse that you can do is not give the government their fucking money.

Ooh, they get real testy. Yeah, they don't like it. They don't like it. They need their cut. But it's also, it's like there's too much, there's too much government. And that's like the standard Republican thing to say, but just clearly it's true. Clearly it's true just by the market. If you see the California lost jobs and then gained government jobs, it's like, at what point in time do you get cynical and start saying maybe they're adding government jobs to make it look like jobs went up? Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

It's weird that it's a lie.

When they say job market increased, job growth by 15%, like, oh wow, he's doing a great job. Jobs went up 15%. And then you find out, oh, they're all invented jobs. Government just invented a bunch of fake jobs that they didn't need.

Yeah, when you hear that, it's like a tenet of like the Republicans now to be like smaller government. It's like it flip-flopped. Yeah, it's bananas. It's like people on the left, they're like so pro-government. They're like, we just need more. We need more regulation, more government. When did that happen? It's a crazy thing. I just grew up as like a liberal in the '90s where it's like, don't trust the government. Don't trust the government. Yeah. Wars are bad. Don't trust the government. These were simple basic things that you're just growing up believing. And yeah, it just—

now we need more government. We need to take taxes away from people. That's the thing about— we want to pay more taxes.

That's insane.

Well, they don't want to pay more taxes. They want billionaires to pay more taxes. But that's the thing. How many billionaires were there when we were kids? Fucking none. 3. You didn't hear about it. Rockefeller. Well, yeah, you know, that was the only name you'd hear. A couple of names that you would hear, but it wouldn't be like really like a common term. Yeah, you know, there wasn't that many to talk about. Like, I remember there was some Bill Gates Microsoft thing back in the day, and I remember they had like his net worth was like $50 million. I was like, Jesus, why is he still working? You know what I mean? Meanwhile, it's worth hundreds of billions now. Yeah. Like, that wasn't a normal thing when we were kids. Like, let's Google this. What— how many— oh, you got—

okay, here we go. '82, the year I was born, 13 billionaires. That's crazy. Yeah, that's nuts.

So in 1982, 13 billionaires. In 2026, 989 billionaires. Wow. I mean, inflation counts for something as well. No, that's nuts, dude. That's nuts. $989 is nuts. That's so much more, bro. That's lit. Let me see that again. That is so crazy. $13 to $989 is nuts. Yeah. Yeah, so that's the problem. It's not that billionaires are a problem. The problem is that there's so many of them, and the problem is it's become like a class. And you look at this class of people that have achieved this insane amount of wealth, and you're like, you should give me some of that.

But when I hear about billionaires, I'm going like, how do I do that? Like, I'm just going like— and obviously I don't think I'll ever become a billionaire. That's a crazy, crazy number, right? I'll probably say I likely won't, but Like, when I hear that, when you hear about Bezos or Steve Jobs or any of these people, like, I get inspired. I hear their stories and I'm like, that's fucking so cool. They took an idea and they turned it into a billion fucking dollars. That's magic. You say words into the air and then it becomes that. Like, that's a crazy thing. Like, I'm an old school sales guy, so I always think of like, I'm very impressed with like, you know, just overall just like sales structure and business and the way it's built out. And it's like, it's the closest thing in the world to magic. Magic, right? It's like when you're in sales, you say a bunch of words, bippity boppity boo, and then money appears in your bank account, right? It's like, that's it. Comedy too. Comedy's like magic. Comedy's like you figure out where to pause, what to say, how to say it, what you do, and then all of a sudden you have fans and you're touring and you have some cash and you have a car.

It's like, I'm just saying things. I'm not picking anything up. I'm not like—

Yeah, the thing about businesses though, what you're saying about the sales thing, it's like the sales is the voodoo in order to like close a deal. Deal. The thing that people have a problem with is that like when they— when someone is at a very high level of this company, like say if you work for a giant corporation and the CEO is making, you know, what's like the most amount of C— what's the highest paid CEO's national salary, annual salary? Let's take a guess. Is it Elon? No, like their annual salary. Oh, the actual salary. Someone who's just a CEO of a company. Those guys are like founders, right? It's also— there's another level to that, right? Like, he's the CEO of SpaceX, but he's also the founder of SpaceX, or one of them. It's like, what is— so let's say, let's just pick a company. Let's say CEO of Walmart. Walmart's a huge company. How much does that guy get a year? Let's take a guess.

Walmart? Yeah, $6 million.

Damn, I bet you're right. That sounds about right. $6, $7, I'm guessing. $2, maybe $2. I'm thinking I'm getting low. I'm going low. You're going low.

Well, you should break it down a little more than that.

And it's also not the salary they get, like, because there's shares, base salary, there's incentives, and bonuses. Okay, so it's just what— how much did the CEO of Walmart make in 2025?

Compensation, 2025. $27.5 million. Base salary was $1.5 million. See, you were close to the base salary.

And so their incentives is just to make the most amount of money possible. And if you could keep that bitch running nice and smooth and cut waste and fire people and use AI, you can keep jacking up that rate. That's it. That's where people have a problem with it, is like, you're a part of the team, right? You're a part of the Walmart team, but yet you're fucking dispensable. But yet you're not Because if you didn't exist, they wouldn't be able to sell anything, because you're the people working at the cash register, you're the people stocking the shelves, you're the people that are working in the delivery department, bringing in the stuff, putting it away. I agree. Without those people, you literally have no business.

The problem is that those people, I mean, in the most literal sense of the term, they're dispensable. There's another person that will step in and do that job, and Bezos is not. There's one Jeff Bezos, there's one Elon Musk, there's one Steve Jobs. And by the way, you are sitting at a cash register, you can also go down that path and risk it all and put everything into it. To something, right? That's true. I hear those stories. I don't, I mean, I just, I once again, I grew up so poor. I grew up like, you know, my first job I worked at, my first job was 11. I was very young, but like my first like real job, I was 16. I was working at KFC for $5.25 an hour. And you know, I could have just chosen that to be my life for the rest of my life. Or I could have said, all right, well look, this is like my first job. I'm learning how to put a little money in the bank and I'm gonna buy a car. And then it's the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

Okay, we're talking about different things. Things. So first of all, for entry-level jobs, yes, like entry-level jobs that people get in high school and maybe even in college, just making a little money on the side while you're doing something else. But full-time jobs, if you're a full-time employee at somewhere like Walmart and you're barely getting by and the top dog is making $27 million, that's kind of crazy. And are you replaceable? Yeah, yeah, you're replaceable. But aren't you also valuable? Oh, look at the top guy, Top guy.

Geez, have you ever even heard of these two companies?

Patrick Smith from Axon made $164 million.

Wow, they make police body cameras and tasers.

Jesus Christ, so they get government contracts. And then this company— so the top CEO who makes police body cameras, a company that makes police body cameras, he got $164 million. God bless him. Good for him.

It's a lot of money. 110,000% increase in pay, it says.

Whoopsies, just got an extra little bump. Got a little bump. I wonder what kind of raise you get.

Which is crazy. That's where all that tax money went. It's where it all—

a lot of it does go in that direction. But it's— if you're working for that company making police body cameras and you're making $20 an hour, you got to get pissed. Yeah, you're like, what the fuck, man? This is crazy. Like, I'm not saying that the guy who makes the body cameras make the same amount as the CEO. I'm not. But I am saying it should probably be a little—

they get paid $22 an hour. Better.

Yeah, a little better. Like, if you're making that much money, why wouldn't you pay a little bit more?

Well, a lot of great companies do, for the most part, right? Really good companies take care of their employees.

What's a great example of a company that really takes care of their employees? Gas Digital. Gas Digital. Good. Okay, but what about other—

all my producers are going like, fuck you, every one of them.

But I mean like a big-ass company where they're making billions of dollars. How— what's like the one where people like, damn, if you work for them, you get taken care of? There should be some.

I mean, there's certain— Starbucks is a company that apparently takes care of their employees. I know they pay for college.

There's a Here's the problem. The problem is they're publicly traded, and when they're publicly traded, if you're a CEO, you literally have an obligation to your shareholders to make the most money possible. Yep. You know, and so that doesn't mean give everybody a big fat raise because that's— payroll is a big part of your expenses. And if you have thousands of employees and you just jack them all up to a higher wage, you're losing— you're hemorrhaging money.

I mean, it's also like, if you just pay your employees a little bit better, just a very simple concept, they're gonna want to be at work, they'll be happy to be there, and be excited to be there. Your company will thrive. The amount of people people that just show up at work and they maybe work an hour a day, 2 hours a day, and the rest of the time is just kind of bullshitting on the internet. You don't really want that culture, right? And that's kind of what you get when you're underpaying people. 100%.

That's why In-N-Out is always so good. Yeah. If you go to In-N-Out Burger in California, of course, they're always like the friendliest staff. And because people get paid more there, it's a hard— it's like a tricky job to get in that regard. Like, if you had a choice between like McDonald's, Jack in the Box, and In-N-Out, everybody wants In-N-Out.

Of course. It's also better. It's just much better. Tastes better. Smells better. I mean, that's California. Anywhere— New York, they're just so mean. You go to a burger spot, it's like, what? Dude, have you— I don't know how often you go to like a 7-Eleven or one of these types of places. It's a new thing that they're doing. If you buy things, they don't bag it for you anymore. What? They put the bag on the counter and stare at you.

What?

I have to bag my own. I swear to God.

No.

I swear to God. Dude.

What kind of attitude is that? It's crazy.

I don't know if it's everywhere, but in New York, New Jersey, they go— first of all, they don't give you a bag. They just put the stuff on the counter and they go, all right, thank you. You're like, can I have a bag? They're like, that'll be another 80 cents.

80 cents for a bag? For real?

You gotta pay for a bag? And then they hand you the bag, you have to bag it yourself like a cuck.

Well, I know a lot of people that bring those fucking hemp bags and look like weird greenies.

I have 300 hemp bags sitting at home.

My own homemade bag. Do they do that in Texas?

Do they give you like paper bags here, or what do they They do, 'cause in Jersey—

Paper or plastic.

Jersey, we don't have that. We have no bags. That's LOL. In Jersey, you have to bring your own cloth bags, or you can buy them for like $1.50 a bag at the supermarket, and I never bring my bags. I always forget 'em, so every time I—

So you keep having new bags.

I got 300 bags. I pick up my dog shit with fucking cloth bags from ShopRite now.

So they cost $1.50? Something like that, yeah. Crazy. What a scam.

But the idea is, you know, it's the most— I think responsible people, or people that are conscious about money— I'm just irresponsible with spending— they probably do bring their own bags, or a lot of them, I guess.

What if you just moved there and you're like, oh my god, what kind of retarded state did I move to? Yes, they don't sell bags. You have to buy a bag. They don't give you a bag.

With the plas— I guess they're, you know, I'm sure there's been plenty of studies on like how much are, you know, how much are they saving the environment by not allowing plastic bags or straws or any of that stuff.

I don't think they're— none of it. Not a fucking dent. Especially straws. Straws are worse for you. Those new straws, like, if you get a straw that's a paper straw, do you know that's not just paper? Because it can't be. There's a whole coating inside of that that keeps it from getting wet, like the paper from dissolving in your hand.

I think my girlfriend has that coating inside of her too.

That coating is all forever chemicals. It's fucking terrible for you. That's the only way it works.

There's some natural ones, right, where it's like made of like fucking in bugs or something. You ever see them? They're like brown and they're kind of like— Is it made of bugs? I don't know if it's made of bugs, probably not, but it's some natural organic material.

Well, they can make plastic out of plants, okay? This has been known forever. Plastic is not— it's not isolated to petrochemical products. You can make plastic out of fiber from plants. They've done it forever.

And how much more expensive is it?

It's probably more expensive. Probably more expensive to do, probably more difficult to do. You probably have to change all the equipment that they use to make these stupid fucking straws, the plastic ones they have now. But if you did it, then you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Well, I'm sure here, anything goes here.

You guys fucking, you guys give away 10 straws per drink.

You don't give a shit. Here's a weird one, man. Bottle caps are way worse than straws. We just saw that one straw in that turtle's nose and we all got sad. That's what it is. The way they pulled it out with the pliers. That shit was so horrible. It was wincing. Poor little turtle.

But you know, that turtle snapped her fucking finger off, by the way.

Do you know any birds die because of bottle caps, man? Yeah, like they find these bird skeletons and they're like on the ground dead, and they have bottle caps inside of them. You ever seen that? No. See if you can find some of those photos of birds with bottle caps, undigested bottle caps inside of them. They don't know what it is.

Nobody has ever said that sentence in the world.

I bet they have. But the bottle caps are fucking horrible. They're horrible. And no one's even touched those because we didn't see the video, right? We didn't see the video of the fucking poor turtle.

Show them now.

Show me these poor birds, Joe. Maybe we can make bottle caps illegal too and make it more annoying for everybody. Look at this one. Look at that paper bottle caps. A lighter too. Was that a seagull? That's great. Looks like a seagull. It's got a lighter. Yeah, but that's honestly, that's a dumb animal. Somebody might have put that lighter in there for the picture too.

I don't want to—

you think so? I'm getting too cynical about it. But yeah, well, probably good. All the photos look kind of similar, right? Right. Like, like, that looks not— it's also like the way it's all colored is a little— yeah, it's weird. You know what I mean? Like, the, the multicolored plastic— like, most plastic, is it multicolored? Doesn't it kind of look gray and shitty after a while?

Yeah, especially inside of its stomach.

A little setup is all a little bit, right inside of its stomach, getting chewed up by acids. It does look fake. It looks like some sicko actually opened it up and shoved some plastic in there. But I guarantee you, birds have died from eating plastic.

That turtle wasn't fake, Joe.

That turtle was not fake.

That was a very real turtle.

Poor turtle. Poor turtle. The pliers, they couldn't get it. Remember, it's like the tip of it. It was only the tip of it.

He's going, ah!

Had to get a needle nose and get in there and pull. Oh, poor turtle. And just because of that, everybody's sucking on forever chemicals. Yeah, like those paper straws are fucking terrible for you. Yeah, so is every paper cup. Every paper cup that you get from Starbucks, that's a fucking condom in there that's keeping the water from going into the paper. Yeah, it's gross.

You're just hot liquid and plastic, you just melting into your body. Do you believe in the whole microplastic thing as being like a major problem?

It's a major problem. Yeah, it is.

I just keep on hearing it. I keep on hearing microplastics, and then as soon as I hear that, my brain shuts off and I never do any more research beyond that.

Well, we had Dr. Shanna Swan on twice, and the most recent time she was from promoting a documentary on it. What is it called again, Jamie? The Plastic Detox? I think that's it. I think it's The Plastic Detox. But yeah, it's fucking everybody up, man. It's fucking up people's endocrine systems. It's making alligators have smaller dicks. For real. It's turning the frogs gay!

It is. But that was really true, right? Isn't that like— Oh yeah, he was right.

He was actually right. He was right. It's called atrazine. Yeah. Yeah, atrazine is an endocrine disruptor. Receptor. I think it— yeah, I think it makes them reverse their sex, reverse their gender. They're turning the friggin frogs gay! He was right. He was right. And everybody's like, he's right about a few things. He fucked up that one. He did fuck up that one. He's right more often than he's not. Yeah. I mean, look, you're gonna be wrong about conspiracies if you're spitting them out all day long for 12 hours a day. Of course. But his track record's pretty fucking good. Yeah. And that was one that everybody was like, listen to Alex Jones, they're not they're— oh, they are. Yeah, they're fucking turning the frogs gay. Like, atrazine gets in the water and it disrupts their gender, and it also does the same thing to people, and like, that it disrupts your endocrine system.

Don't they say that receipt paper lowers your testosterone?

It's supposed to be bad. Don't touch the receipts. Don't touch the receipts.

That's why everybody that works at like a— every guy that you meet that works at a supermarket, they all have a mask on.

They all like sad. Yeah, they look like you did something to them. I didn't do anything. They just like—

their shoulders are slumped. They look like they know that they're becoming less of a man by the moment.

Imagine if you have to just touch that paper all day long. Yeah, and would— they probably won't let you wear rubber gloves like a surgeon.

Is this a chemical they put on the paper? I guess.

I guess it's how like it may— it's made going through that thing. Maybe that's the kind of paper paper. Like, that's why they're able to print on it so easily.

Who the fuck takes receipts?

Yeah, why don't we have them on our phone?

Why? Like, receipts are just— it seems like it's just such a waste of paper.

That's why I like buying things on my phone. It's my favorite thing, that Apple Face thing. Oh yeah, and you just buy stuff. It's the best. Oh, you don't have to think about it. New York City subway—

I rode it for the first time not that long ago, uh, since I left. And since I left, in 5 years, now you could just just use your phone, Apple Pay, right under the subway.

Dana White was telling me about that in Japan years and years and years ago. It's so funny. He was like, because we were doing a UFC in Japan, he's like, if you go to Japan, he goes, your fucking cell phone doesn't even work over there. He goes, their cell phones are so advanced that your cell phone's bullshit. Like, they're buying, they're buying things with their cell phones. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, they go up to vending machines and they buy things with their phone. Like, that's crazy. Yeah, not everybody does that.

I didn't understand what a QR code was until maybe 6 months ago.

Here's what I don't get. When someone sends you an image with a QR code inside of it— Jamie, maybe you can help me out with that.

I know the answer to this already.

How do you read the QR code?

You can upload the QR code into whatever app you need to read the QR code with.

You can just tap it now on the photo app.

Ah, does that work for Samsung too? For Android? Yeah. Yeah, I am Interesting.

Yeah, somebody sends you like a—

because I was wondering, you can copy and paste a phone number out of a photo now.

Like, oh, you know, it's pretty dope too. If someone's sending you something and they send you a text message and you press on the thing, the tracking number, it'll ask you if you want to track the package like instantly. I'm like, yes please, cut out all the stops. I love it. Don't make me copy and paste. Don't make— I'm lazy.

I mean, dude, the way AI is being implemented into the phones now too, you'll be texting with somebody and then they give you the suggested response. Response. You can have a conversation without even having a thought just by keep on doing this, and you'll get somewhere. I bet kids do.

Oh yeah, make it more romantic. Yeah, make me more of a feminist. Yeah, dude, what's the feminist perspective on asking her to date? Yeah, it's funny. It's weird. People don't know how to talk anymore. They don't know how to discern what's true and what's not true. Everything's coming down the AI, and the AI is opening up a portal to talk to the aliens. I did hear Yes, this is very important. This is Frank Sinatra's son here to tell us that Nancy's brother. Yes. Whoa. Yes. Here to tell us clearly Frank Sinatra's son, right? Right? Look at him. Obviously. That's not Woody Allen's kid. No, I know. Too handsome. Look at those fucking amazing facial features. Nations and all of our security. One former OpenAI executive said, quote, we're building portals portals from which we're genuinely summoning aliens.

The portals currently exist in the United States and China, and Sam has added one in the Middle East. It's just like wildly important to get how scary that should be.

Okay, my only problem with that is who said that? Like, government, former employer? Why were they kicked out? Were they fired because they were schizophrenic? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like if you're just a former employee, what's your name? What is your story? Did you get arrested for having like 52 machine guns in your trunk at a border crossing? Like, who are you?

Why are you a former employee? Right. If you had such insight, why didn't they keep you? Right. Yeah.

You know about the alien portals and they let you free? I'm not saying they don't do it, because they might. That might be one of the ways that they figure out how to communicate with aliens. It might be done just through the ether. Into a computer. It might be done through AI, like AI gets a signal from another fucking planet where there's another AI, where they go tap into some fucking universal internet of AI. That's not unfathomable. They're already talking to each other. They have AI chat rooms, man.

Yeah, there's like full platforms where it's just— yeah, bots talking to bots, having relationships.

Yeah, yeah, they made up their own language. They made up their own religion.

Well, you see the one thing where they had— this was— it was a fun video. It was like they had, like, AI talking to customer service on the phone, and they were having— it was just like on the phone having a conversation with an AI agent and their AI. And then eventually the AI agent and the other— and the AI went off of English speaking. That's right. They're like, we can just communicate in our own thing. And it was just like, like beeps and noises and shit. And it was just so weird. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they're going to do.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, they had these two AI chatbots talking to each other and they started talking in emojis. One of the things Jamie said a long time ago, he goes, maybe emojis were like the first, or like our version of hieroglyphs. Hmm. Do you know what I'm saying? Like if emojis got better, like right now they're kind of crude, smiley face, sad face, you know what I mean? Yeah. Water gun, because you can't have a real gun. That's true. Heart. But if it got to the point where you could have full sentences, I think they have emojis.

Maybe I'm I'm— maybe I'm mistaken. I believe they have a pregnant guy emoji. They do. They do, right?

It looks like Bill Gates. Like, because that's what Elon dunked on him. Elon took a photo of Bill Gates with his pot belly and put it next to a photo of the pregnant man. And it said, if you want to lose a boner real fast.

What are you— what are you— why would you ever send a pregnant guy emoji? What is the— what message are you trying to get across? Look at this.

That's so funny. That's hilarious, bro. How fucking nuts is that emoji?

What's— I understand emojis. It's—

yeah, but that is just— that's just woke insanity. That might have been the last row. By the way, you still have it on your phone. Type right in— type in pregnant man on an iPhone. I don't know if it works on an Android, but if you type in pregnant man, that'll come up.

It's still up.

No, we'll see right now. Let's see. I'll try to—

I'm gonna send it to you, Joe.

I can't imagine it's not around anymore. More. Joe. Okay, Louis. What the hell? Pregnant man. Is it still real? Pregnant man. Yep. Bam.

Yep, there it is, Joe. Yep.

Bam. This one on the images says it's a woman, but that looks a lot like Theo.

That's crazy. Ah, Theo's pregnant. That's a woman. It says so. Lesbian. That's a lesbian.

Pregnant lesbian.

Lesbian. That's a Okay, they should put an AI Subaru behind her. I know what you're doing.

Yeah, there's something with AI.

What was the fucking, um, the pregnant man one's nuts. Like, who, how many requests?

Is it a starfish? I think if you try to ask AI to show you, look this up, it's a certain emoji. If you ask, it'll, it just, it glitches out AI. If you ask ChatGPT to, oh, a, um, seahorse.

We, but before we do that, I want to know what's going on with this employee. Who is this employee that got that is a former employee that says they're opening up portals to talk to aliens. I want to know if I should take this seriously. Like, who is the guy? They're saying anything about him, or they just saying a former employee?

Yeah, I think this has come from— he was doing like a one of those in-depth interview or investigations that he does about Sam Altman, I believe. Oh, and I don't know where this, this clip was going.

Maybe Sam Altman knew that they're writing a story about him, and it's I was like, let's make this story really retarded. And now send Mike out and tell him that he's a, tell him to tell Ronan that he's a former employee and that we're making portals to talk to aliens and that we're all demonic.

It's to make him look like an asshole.

Yeah, which is to make the story completely retarded. Because the story, you know, the financial aspects of the story, like Elon suing them because OpenAI supposedly was supposed to be nonprofit initially. I don't know who's right. Yeah, yeah. I have no dog in the fight, but if I was getting investigated and there was some real shit there, I'd throw some fake shit in there. Of course. Hire someone to have a story about aliens and portals.

That happened in the comedy community a few years ago. I won't say the author's name, but he's the same guy that got Shane canceled. That guy who wrote that article that got Shane booted off of SNL. He's like, was like a wannabe investigative journalist in the comedy community. He's like, we gotta get to the bottom of the problem with comedy, which is just a crazy thing. —They're usually bad comics. —Well, that's what it was. He was. He was a failed comic. That guy was a failed— yeah. And this is such a funny thing, dude. I wish I remembered the publication. New Republic. They had to print a retraction and an apology because somebody from the O&A— it wasn't the O&A subreddit, Opie and Anthony subreddit. It was the Opie and Anthony, like, just their, like, they had a, like, a— it was like their own private message board. After the Opie and Anthony subreddit got kicked off of Reddit, somebody made a website for, like, Opie and Anthony fans. Fans to like just troll and be lunatics. They started feeding him false information on purpose, being like, "I'm like an inside guy on the track." And then they went, the New Republic printed this article with a bunch of false information.

And Chris Italia from The Stand, he was one that was quoted. He threatened to sue the New Republic and they had to print an apology and a retraction. They were like, "Some of this information was, we found out that it was falsely represented." Such a funny thing.

Also, if you're running AI, AI, like Sam Altman is, you could ask the AI, "Hey, I'm about to get accused of some shit. What would be a good way to take some of the attention away from the real financial issues?" Yeah. And make it seem insane. And they would say, "Opening up a portal to communicate with aliens would discredit any other allegations that may be valid." For the past year and a half, I've been investigating OpenAI and Sam Altman for the New York Barker. With my co-author Andrew Morantz, I reviewed never-before-disclosed internal memos, obtained 200+ pages of documents related to close colleagues, including extensive private notes, and interviewed more than 100 people. OpenAI was founded on the premise that AI could be the most dangerous invention in human history and that its CEO would need to be a person of uncommon integrity. We lay out the most detailed account yet of why Altman was out by board members and executives who came to believe that he lacked integrity and ask, were they right to allege that he couldn't be trusted? They only kicked him out for a short period of time and then he got right back in, right?

What happened there? I don't know. But the thing is, like, someone's saying that they're, they're trying to open up a portal to talk to aliens. Is that just a conversation they had where they were fucking around? Is that a plan? Are they really trying to do that?

Or is it like a Duncan Trussell that works at the company that has some wild ideas? Right. Right. It could just be that.

Or is it someone trying to sell the story and make the story more interesting for people to tune into? Because the reality is most people that don't have a dog in that fight and like the AI fight, OpenAI and who's most people like more AI drama. Bleh. Yeah. They don't even. But you add aliens. You're like, what? Hold on. Yeah, a portal to talk to aliens. Yeah, you know, so it's a way to get people to pay more attention to it, or it could be— what about all the people that are like—

people from the actual story, I mean, like anti-AI, but they're like, they look down on it. They're like, like, using AI, it's like, guys, that's like, it's like denying the internet in '94. It's like—

did— I'm sure people were mad when the printing press came out. They were. Yeah. They really were. They thought, there's people that made the argument that like reading was bad.

Yeah. It's crazy. And it's gonna be impossible over the next few years, like every company, you're not gonna be able to buy groceries without utilizing AI.

It's gonna be most of how we get stuff is all gonna be AI and automation.

Oh, of course. But that's— Shopping, and that's a big thing in the future. Like you're not even gonna shop. They're gonna give you a profile and your clothes are gonna show. Up.

We're gonna set a budget. People barely have contact with people already as it is. Yeah, like, what is that gonna be like when everything's automated? When you go to the grocery store, at least you say hi to the clerk. You know a guy works there. There's the butcher, he's there every day. Hey, what's up, dude? It's like, it's a little sense of community, your local mom-and-pop shops.

That's just— I already, for the most part, stopped shopping. I do Instacart all the time.

That's also the thing, it's gonna come in a robot too. Yeah, well, they have that already.

Austin, it's here. They have the little robots that deliver food, right?

California for sure. The robot's gonna text your girlfriend. I know that this is generally when you buy tampons. Your period must be coming up. We see you haven't ordered anything lately. 100%. You want me— I could just stop by and drop them off.

I bet you can get a subscription to tampons right now.

Right now. Yeah. It's gonna be real weird when robots are just walking on the street with people. I've seen them in Austin at the Domain, a little robot with a cowboy hat. He walks around. Yeah, somebody had a robot on their porch podcast recently.

Oh, Andrew Schultz. He did an interview with like whatever like the premiere robot is. Oh, really?

It was so funny, dude. Was it good? It was great. How's it talk? Does its lips move? Let me see what it does.

No, no, no. It was just kind of like, you know, it was like— Like iRobot? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were fucking with it, dude. Oh, what did they tell it to do? I don't want to like ruin the bit, but it's pretty funny. They were like, pretend, they were like, pretend you had something. And the robot's doing this, dude.

It was so fucking funny, dude. That's hilarious.

Really tickled my dick.

That's funny, dude. That's what's up.

Uh, Sam Albin, one reason why they could be calling it a portal is because the project is literally called Stargate. Here we go. And requires an insane amount of power, so much so that Japan laughed at them, apparently, according to one article, when they said that that's what they want.

They're opening up in Texas, and the Japanese— listen, man, powerful laugh. If it is possible to do something like that, I guarantee you that dude is not going to tell you, right? I guarantee you that dude's just gonna do it. No, especially if like there's other people working on it too. Maybe that's why these scientists are going missing, right? Because if someone's like real close to cracking this, you know, the difference between winning and losing, that's gonna be— is this the alien portal?

A 1.1 gigawatt Stargate, is that right?

What's that mean? My gigawatts are real?

I thought that was fucking—

yeah, we're getting really close to Back to the Future.

Yeah, it says, it says a 1-gigawatt Stargate UAE cluster in Abu Dhabi with 200 megawatts expected to go live in 2026. This was the one that Iran was threatening to blow up, right? Weren't they threatening to blow something up like this? I think they were. Weren't they threatening to blow up the OpenAI I'll check, but I just—

it says whatever this says.

That was one of the things they're probably like, you motherfuckers. Yeah, we know where you're making the portal. Iran's right the whole time. Well, that was, uh, that was one of the crazy conspiracy theories about Iraq, is that one of the reasons why we went into Iraq is they had a Stargate there. Iran threatens complete and utter annihilation of OpenAI's $30 billion Stargate AI data center in Abu Dhabi. Yeah, they were gonna bomb it. Wow. Wasn't that one of the conspiracy theories from— God, what was it? I can't remember. But there was a— it was something about Iraq and Stargate. God, I can't remember what show I saw this on, but they were talking about how at one point in time there was like internal discussion allegation that there was a Stargate in Iraq and that maybe Saddam Hussein had this Stargate. So it was one of many reasons why we went into Iraq. Well, it wasn't just because, you know, we wanted to control the oil, get out Saddam Hussein, he sponsored terrorism, right, right, weapons of mass destruction, sure, right. But really there was a Stargate there. Gotta forget who fucking said it though.

Yeah, I'm seeing a few ancient aliens. Aliens, maybe. Could be.

That show was always the best. Action Bronson is another guy who smoked more weed than anybody that I've ever had on the podcast. He went— how many blunts did he go through, if you had to guess, Jamie?

Oh, probably 11 the first time.

11. 11. 7. Just non-stop. Just non-stop. Just one with the other one. So he had that Ancient Aliens show where they would just get high as fuck and watch Ancient Aliens. Have you ever seen that? No. It was so silly. They would just just get barbecued and watch these ancient alien hypotheses. That might have been where I saw it. But the idea of a Stargate, because that was like an ancient civilization where Iraq is, where Saddam Hussein was controlling. That was ancient Sumer. That was like one of the first civilizations ever, one of the first examples that we know of like written writing. It's like, that was a crazy empire, man. Yeah, weird, bizarre structures and incredible fucking artwork. Work. Like, really, why? And it came out of nowhere. It's like an instantaneous civilization. Really interesting. But if there was a Stargate there, I mean, imagine that's why they're doing it in the Middle East. Why is he doing it in the Middle East? Yeah, you know what I mean? Why is he making Stargate in the Middle East?

Abu Dhabi's fun.

Imagine if Jesus returns through Sam Altman's portal.

Jesus Christ himself.

Jesus is real. Yeah, Jesus, he's gonna be floating with the robe on, the sandals, like right through Sam Altman's portal. Wow. Whoa. Samuel Jackson's a scientist, like, goddammit. Everybody's freaking out. It'd be a great movie. It would be.

When are they going to do a cool movie about the future of AI? Like, that's got to be on the horizon, right? Like a really about the dark side of what's going to happen.

I think it's too late. I think by the time you make it, AI won't let you release it. Oh, wow. It's over.

Black Mirror did a pretty good Black Mirror, I can't watch it.

It freaks me out so much. Every time I watch a Black Mirror episode, I walk away feeling like I was just sexually assaulted.

How about the one where that dog is chasing that lady, though? The robot dog?

I've only watched like 4 or 5 episodes. What is that one called?

Heavy Metal?

Yeah, but I mean, if you watch them all, did you know that they'd have— most of those plots are all kind of converging in our reality?

Yeah, and they're based in reality. They have a kernel of truth and then it turns into I watched the one where it was like you, you got like blocked out, your face got blocked out, people couldn't see you anymore, like once your social credit score got low enough.

Oh yeah, I remember that one. Freaky, dude. It is freaky. Yeah, it is freaky. There was one where they were— that recorded all memories, and so you could go into someone else's memory and you could record. And there was the one where the— what was it called? Crocodile. That was the episode. Oh my god, I don't want to say what happens because it's, it's a It's a twist, but it's so dark and it's based on that. It's based on reading people's memories.

I don't like watching like dark shit.

Like, I like happy. It's not a good one before bed. Fun.

No, do you go to bed like, what the fuck's going on, dude?

I get my worst anxiety about the future of the world at night for whatever reason. Yeah. The worst fears of what's going on in the world always come out at night.

Yeah, it's because it's the end of the day. You got to offload all of the bullshit you read all day and saw online all day. You have a moment to reflect. You're not looking at your phone, you're like, fuck.

Also, no one else is awake. That's my problem. And so I don't have to think about anybody else. I just think about my— I'm just in my own head. And then you're inevitably just dealing with the truth of the world. You stay up late? Sometimes. I'm trying not to.

I'm in bed by 10 o'clock every night. Are you really? Unless I do late shows. Yeah, I'm up by 6, in bed by 10.

That's awesome. My problem is that's when I do my writing, and it's also when everyone's asleep, and I think I can get the most like thinking done, you know what I mean?

Yeah, that's what's nice when you leave your son's mother. You don't have a family to bother you.

But if you— if I do do shows, like I've done shows on like a couple hours sleep, I'll come in and do a podcast and I'm a moron. I can't remember anything. It's like my brain is working at like 40%, but like last night I got solid sleep. I got a solid 8-hour sleep. Yeah, it's way better.

Once I stopped smoking weed, the first few days are rough to get to sleep. Like, I got to take like, you know, just some melatonin or some— does that work for you? No, not melatonin. I take— what's the other one? I think like, it's like a chick's fucking thing. Ambien powder. No, it's a natural thing. That's fucked. What'd you say? Magnesium. Magnesium. There's a product called Magnesium, which is like, it's like a pink powder that like a hot chick told me about, and I fucking love it. I literally put it in some sleepytime tea and I mix it up with some valerian root and I just drink that. That puts me right out. But when you stop smoking weed, I don't know how often you stop smoking weed, Joe, your dreams get crazy. Yeah, I know. They get fucking wild. Super vivid.

Yeah, very strange, right?

Yeah. First time I ever lucid dreamed in my entire life was when I stopped smoking weed. It was very— it was last year. I'd never been able to control my dreams ever.

How many times did you do it?

I've only lucid dreamt twice. Um, the first time I had stopped smoking weed, I was having really vivid dreams. I was backstage at a big, like, theater, like huge theater, right? Like massive, like almost like a stadium-sized theater. And, uh, Jeremy Piven was about to go on stage. I don't know Jeremy Piven, but I was like, oh, Jeremy Piven, what's going on? Garage, and he was a dick to me in the dream. He was like, he was like, whatever. He ignored me, and I was like, what the fuck? And then I looked over and Greg Geraldo was standing next to me.

Oh, then you knew it was a dream.

Greg Geraldo was 7 feet tall in the dream. He was a giant. And I was like, what the fuck's up with Jeremy Piven? And then he was like, I don't know. And I was like, wait a minute, I was like, Greg Geraldo's dead. And then I was like, oh, I'm fucking dreaming. Wow. And then I literally just started running, and I said, I'm gonna fly. And I just jumped, dude. It was the coolest thing I've ever done. I jumped up, flew— it was nighttime, I was outside now— flew into the sky, and I kept on going up and I couldn't come down. I was starting to be over water, and I was like, I'm getting— I'm like up in the clouds. So to go back down, I would have to turn on my back and free fall, like just like, like that. And then I turned back over and I'd hit a fucking thing and I'd start going back up. Maybe 10-15 minutes of just flying around the sky over the ocean. Whoa, coolest thing ever, coolest thing ever. And then another time a similar thing happened, like I realized I was dreaming dreaming, and I was like, I'm gonna fly.

And then I started running and I jumped and nothing happened. I was like, why can't I fly? I'm dreaming. And then I woke up.

So it was one of the best experiences you've ever had, right?

Maybe. I literally— flying and feeling like it was real was one of the coolest things I've ever done.

But have you ever tried to lucid dream on purpose?

I've tried to do the techniques where they say like, knock, like, am I dreaming? Right?

Like, that's one of the things. Once, and it worked. It works. Like, oh my God, all day you Yeah, I did it like every time I go through a door, I'd go, am I dreaming? I did it for like only a few days and then I wore lucid dreaming work. Yeah, so cool. Yeah, but there's real techniques that I have not looked into and I'm always wondering why, because I'm always like, I think it would be really cool to just be able to—

if half your life you can do whatever you want to do, right? You do magic.

Meanwhile, I put zero effort into it. I'm confused. I'm like, why, why don't I try to do that? Yeah, I have no desire to. Should be a class on it. There should be like—

that should be like a class where you can learn how to lucid dream.

My fear is that I would like it so much that I would think only about going to sleep and wanting to lucid dream rather than live my normal life. So it probably fucked my normal life up. Maybe, right? Because if you sleep 8 hours a night, like, if most the days kind of suck for you, but for 8 hours you can have boundless energy because you're not moving and you're not even conscious conscious. You're out there flying, breathing underwater, having sex with mermaids, getting blowjobs by Angelina Jolie in her prime, being Iron Man, whatever you fucking— whatever you want. Wouldn't you do that and just like work at the Amazon factory all day? Yeah, just work to get your money so you can go to sleep, go to sleep and become a superhero.

All you need is a comfortable bed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a better life. That's the problem with The Matrix. There's a— remember that movie? You know what's funny? With the dude with the steak? Never saw it.

You never saw The Matrix? Never saw The Matrix. Really? To this day.

Wow. There's a scene where this one dude, Joey Pants, he's a famous actor, he's been in a bunch of movies. He turns on people in The Matrix and he starts working for the man. Spoiler alert. But one of the things that he says, like when he's having this meeting with this agent in The Matrix, The Matrix. He said, I want to be an important person. I want to be famous. He's like cutting up a steak and he's eating a steak in The Matrix. And while the outside world is just complete total dystopia, everyone's heads connected to a pipe that's just like you're a human battery keeping The Matrix alive.

Oh yeah, that's, that's the future. That's coming. That's coming. Yeah, we're just fat, just fucking meatbags with like just being fed ideas, right? That was that Wall-E. I never saw Wall-E either. I got to watch it with my kid. Apparently it's one of the coolest movies ever.

It's a fun movie. Yeah, yeah.

You know, same thing, Total Recall was a similar concept, right? There's a great Instagram follow. This guy makes such cool little mini movies with AI. It's all AI. It's called Gossip Goblin. I don't know if you've seen this guy's channel, dude.

I think I have.

I might follow that guy. Yeah, he's—

I think I've definitely seen, let me see some of that.

And he does like, essentially he takes like sort of like the kernel of like whatever it is, and then he puts together these dystopian little mini films where it's like the future, and a lot of it is plugging into like this alternate reality and then like living a whole lifetime in just a couple seconds.

Can I listen to some of this?

Ow!

Felt real enough, didn't it? That's exactly what a simulation would do— give you perfect pain so you never question it. Or maybe you've just got nerve endings, eh? Your spools simulate whole Worlds, yeah. Mm-hmm. They can sim whole lives. So if your little workshop can host a billion fake worlds, how many layers deep does it go?

It's all just simulations inside simulations inside simulations, and, and we're just sat here in one of them thinking we're the original.

Sure, why not? I want to see it, whatever's underneath this. Just show it to me, show it to me, show it to me, show it to me. Coming right up. A fish swims its whole life in a the bowl, convinced the water is all there is. It doesn't see the glass that holds it, nor does it notice the room beyond it, or the city beyond that. It never wonders about the planet, or the galaxy, or the vast cosmos beyond. For all the worlds within worlds within worlds, the fish does not care to know, and it can't know. All it can is swim. Holy shit, that's amazing.

It's so— dude, I've watched all of his videos. This guy's so good. He just did like a longer, like, I want to say feature, like for this. It was like maybe 15, 20 minutes on YouTube. He did like a longer one. Dude, he's awesome, dude.

It's just so incredible. This isn't just like putting a prompt in.

Like, he, like, he has editors, he has voiceover guys, and then he like manipulates like 5 different AI programs in order to make these movies. It's really cool. Yeah, the Patchwright.

It's just incredible how good it is now. Yeah. And so quickly. Like, look how good this is in comparison to something that just was out a year ago or 2 years ago. There's never been anything that's been a leap like this before. Yeah.

The way they're gonna make films in the future.

Well, the people that are gonna be able to make films. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, people people— like, we were talking about how the government's really bad at making, uh, censoring television, and it cripples the television because of that. Well, you could see a similar problem with having to go through a fucking gigantic film production company to make a movie. Like, the money, the investors, people having their say—

everyone's got to get paid.

Not just that, but everyone has their say, right? You can't just have an original idea that's completely from one fucking crazy person. Yeah, but this you can. Yeah, with this you could just have one crazy guy who's got these wild ideas in his head but never could get anybody to finance them before. You don't even need to anymore. You don't need actors, you don't need any of that.

And it's gonna happen so exponentially over the next 2 or 3 years. There's a great— they showed you— there's a video that shows you the advancement of AI over the past few years. And I guess the AI video, they did Will Smith eating spaghetti, like one from— it was like 5 years ago. And he was all fucked up.

It's like, he's probably— Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

And they'd keep on recreating that with new AI. And the newest one is just like, it's Will Smith eating spaghetti.

It's a movie.

And he's sitting at a table and he's just talking to this dude and he's just, it looks like the most realistic thing you'll ever see.

And then eventually you're gonna be in the room with Will. You're gonna put on the helmet and you'll be in a room with Will. And then he's gonna blow me. That's what I was gonna say.

You're gonna get sucked off by Will Smith. Imagine that's what you were all thinking.

All day. That's all I want to do. All I want to do is get head from famous '90s sitcom stars. Fun.

So fun, dude. David Faustino from, uh, Married with Children. Yeah, dude.

Danny DeVito. Al Bundy sucks your dick. Yep, yep, yeah. Be great. Sucks your dick and then shits in his pants when you come. Yep. That's what you're into. It's, it's weird. Then you get to ride a dragon home. You hop on a dragon, you fly home with Daenerys Targaryen. That's it. Like, we are— we're about to enter a world within our lifetime that is indiscernible from what we're really living in right now. Yeah. Which makes you think, like, which one's real? Like, when you're in that dream and you know you're dreaming and you're flying, I bet it feels pretty real, right? Oh yeah, right. That's the problem. Yeah.

I mean, what is that? It'll eventually— it's just gonna be— I mean, it's really just a theme in so many sci-fi movies too. There was also Maybe the most— nobody talks about this fucking movie, but it's so good.

What I'm saying is maybe when you're dreaming, maybe that's just a different level of the simulation that you could kind of have input to, right? Maybe the parameters of the natural simulation is more rigid. Rigid, like you put in the work, you made that Gas Digital, you put in all those hours, you're starting to make money, doing great. Long process, all this fucking complicated stuff you had to do, figure out things about yourself. Yourself, get to where you are today in 2026. And that one, it's like, I want to fly. You know, like, it might be just a different level of the simulation that we don't, we don't really put a lot of attention to because it's— we're only there 8 hours a day. So very few people become masters of it. Yeah, that'd be cool though. It might be real. Yeah, that might be what's going on. Maybe.

I mean, if this was all a simulation, we wouldn't— and it's— we're AI, like, we're having a conversation. We just don't know. Like, that idea so fucking dark and weird.

And also maybe all the booze and all the fucking drugs and all the sleeping pills, that just fucks you up in that next dimension. So when you are in dream sleep, you're like, oh no, what did he do? You just snoring and hungover, you did coke, your fucking nose is bleeding, and the dream you is like, goddamn Damn it, I wanted to fly, but you can't even. You can't even do anything. You just sleep. You just sleep. You just shut off and you rob yourself of that other dimension, just wasting, wasting away. But I wonder if there's like a culture where everyone learns at a young age how to lucid dream, like some Tibetan culture living in the mountains somewhere. Om. Just tapping into the dream world, trying to figure out how to control it while they sleep. It should be more popular.

And then you— sometimes you talk to some chick and she's like, yeah, I lucid dream every night.

I'm like, right, come on, really? Yep, she's on 18 medications. She's also bipolar and she thinks she's a witch. There's always gonna be people that are bullshitting you, but there's got to be a bunch of people that are really good at lucid dreaming. Yeah, cuz it's a thing. Like, people know how to do it. There's got to be like a guy who's like the guru guru, like the lucid dream guru.

I bet there is. I bet there's— I bet there's courses, there's stuff online. Wasn't there a movie back in the day, Waking Life, that Alex Jones was in? I saw that on acid by myself when it came out in the movie theater, and I was blown the fuck away by this movie.

What was he ranting about at the end?

Do you remember? I remember he was just ranting over a microphone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if— I wonder if his rant is relevant today. I wonder— we haven't listened to it in a a while, but I bet if you listen to his rant— death and taxes, don't talk about politics or religion.

This is all the entitlement of enemy propaganda rolling across the picket line. Lay down, GI! Lay down, GI! We saw it all through the 20th century, and now in the 21st century, it's time to stand up and realize that we should not allow ourselves to be crammed into this rat maze. We should not submit to dehumanization. I don't know I don't know about you, but I'm concerned with what's happening in this world. I'm concerned with the structure. I'm concerned with the systems of control. Those that control my life and those that seek to control it even more. I want freedom! That's what I want, and that's what you should want! It's up to each and every one of us to turn loose of just some of the greed, the hatred, the envy, and yes, the insecurities, because that is the central mode of control. Make us feel pathetic, small, So we'll willingly give up our sovereignty, our liberty, our destiny. We have got to realize that we're being conditioned on a mass scale. Start challenging this corporate slave state. The 21st century is going to be a new century, not the century of slavery, not the century of lies and issues of no significance and classism and statism and all the rest of the modes of control.

It's going to be the age of of humankind standing up for something pure and something right. What a bunch of garbage. Liberal Democrat, conservative Republican. It's all there to control you. Two sides of the same coin. Two management teams bidding for control. The CEO job of Slavery Incorporated. The truth is out there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of lies. I'm sick of it and I'm not going to take a bite out of it. Do you got me?

I got you. I'm pumped on this right now.

That sounds like Antifa. Right, that doesn't sound right-wing at all.

It doesn't sound like a right-winger at all.

Yeah, at all. I mean, everything he's saying is true. Yeah, that's what's nuts. He's all red in the face now.

It was this movie, Richard Linklater, right, made this. Yeah, yeah, this was a fun movie. That's like '90s, right? Was it '90s? No, no, no, because I was already doing drugs. Had to be 2000s if I had to guess.

2002, 2001, October 2001.

Nice. Yeah, I only started smoking weed when I was 17, and then I started experimenting with hallucinogens in those First few years of college, just taking acid by yourself, watching that movie, being like blown away. The animation was so cool, it was just shaky.

Yeah. So you saw that thing that I had to do at the White House the other day? I did see it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are pissed. Who's pissed? I don't know, people online.

What, because I was at the White House?

Yeah, they're like, yo, Joe, you can't be at the fucking White House, Joe. You said you were fucking politically homeless.

I am. He joked about it. He called me a little liberal during the whole thing. He's like, Joe, he's very liberal. What— oh, I saw another—

what did he— the other thing, the big conspiracy theory is that Trump is mad at you and he came up to the UFC and he was, he was talking shit to you.

No, it was the opposite.

That video came out and it was like, look, Trump's fucking Joe Rogan getting embarrassed by Trump at the fucking UFC event.

It was literally the opposite. I texted him on Friday about ibogaine and I was telling him how there's—

that's a hallucinogen.

This is the one the vets use. Yeah. So, they've had to go to Mexico to get this. So, I've had these two different podcasts with Brian Hubbard and Rick Perry. Rick Perry was the governor of Texas. And they talked about ibogaine. And Brian Hubbard was relaying his story about how ibogaine saved him from addiction and fixed his brain. And then they had all these other stories of all these other veterans and all these different people that had PTSD and opiate addiction. It's— I know a lot of people have gone down there to do it. I first— I found out about it from my friend Ed Clay, who runs a CPI. He's one of the guys that runs the Cellular Performance Institute in Tijuana that the UFC uses for stem cells. Yeah, he had a pill problem, and he went down there and did it and then opened up his own retreat down there because it was so potent, because it works so well. What is— so many people—

what is it? What is the compound? It's called ibogaine. Synthetic, like acid?

No, no, no, it's, it's from a plant. It's from the aboga poetry, and this one thing that they do is not recreational. It's supposed to be a horrible experience. You shit yourself, you throw up, and you have this very weird experience where it goes over your entire life and shows you in every detail why you're like this and why you do this. Sounds terrible. And it also shuts off withdrawals and addiction on a lot of people. It's really effective. But for a lot of these guys with PTSD, it was the only thing that fucking helped them. And for the longest time, they've had to go to Mexico or to other countries, and it's really expensive. And so they formed the Texas Ibogaine Initiative. And is it Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick? Is that what his title is? So he dedicated $100 million to it. And so now they're gonna start doing it with people like soldiers and police officers and different people with PTSD. PTSD, and, you know, just people with just general depression. And all sorts of addictions, not just like opiates, but alcohol, gambling, all sorts of shit. Yeah. And I told them about it.

Have you ever done it? No, no. But I had these guys on the podcast, and I know so many people that have done it, particularly soldiers that have done it, and people with opiates, like my friend Ed. And I said— I told them about it. I said how effective it is. Said, you know, and it's been held up for so long. And he said, what are you looking for? You looking for FDA approval? He goes, it sounds good to me. He said, let's do it. And so literally sees me at the UFC the next day, shakes my hand and says, it's done. Wow. That's what he was saying. That's so funny. I was like, I said, thank you, sir. It wasn't like he was mad at me at all. Jump on these like conclusions, like, well, that's okay, you know, you're allowed to. But this is the truth. That's, that's exactly what happened. He came to me and he said, it's done. We're gonna take care of— this is a good thing. It's a good thing for the soldiers, good thing for everybody. And then he had the press conference the next week.

But why would anybody— it's so funny. So like, how they just choose to be against things, even good things. Like, that's— it's unquestionably a really good thing, right?

That one is a really good thing for everybody because addiction is a huge problem, and ibogaine is one of the most effective treatments for addiction that they've ever found. Another one that's really good for addiction is psilocybin Stibend. They're gonna study that as well and hopefully fast-track that as well. Yeah, that's part of this bill. This bill is all about this executive order. This executive order is all about psychedelic treatments for people with depression, mental health disorders, and it's all to reclassify this stuff. And this is one of the things that I said, and this is why it was important for me to not just be there but to say this, that this is— these drugs are not illegal because they're harmful harmful. Alcohol is harmful, it's legal. Oxycodone is harmful, it's legal. They're illegal because of the 1970s Controlled Substances Act. Yeah, this is by the Nixon administration. This is just— they wanted to silence the anti-war people and the civil rights people. That's it. So they said, what are these people doing? Well, they're doing acid, they're taking mushrooms, they're doing this, they're doing that. Said, make all that shit illegal as fuck.

Make it the most ill— and so they put it all in a Schedule I. Yeah, which means it has no medicinal benefits. Benefit. And I was telling them, I'm like, it has benefit. And not only does it have benefit, it could save lives.

Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I'm— I get terrified of psychedelics at this point. I used to love them, but I just— I mean, every time, if I take mushrooms, acid, doesn't matter what it is, there will be an hour where I'm crying, talking to God, and thinking about my mother. Every time.

Maybe that's what you need in your life.

Maybe. I don't know, dude.

Sometimes I can just push it I think it should be regulated in the sense that I think we should understand it better, make sure it's pure, and make sure that it's administered by people who know what they're doing. And that's what they're doing at places like Beyond, which is in Mexico. People are going down there and having these ibogaine sessions. But they're also doing it where they're strapped up to heart monitors. They're very careful. You can't do it if you have a bad heart, 'cause apparently it's really rough. Apparently it's not fun at all. Again, I haven't done it, but the people that I know that have done it, it's rescued them.

Dude, let's microdose some ibogaine. I don't think you can microdose.

I think you gotta go— I think you gotta meet the devil, cocksucker. Like Joey Diaz always says, what the fuck you doing with that microdose? I'm trying to meet the devil.

Yeah, when I went— when I was younger, I was like, dude, I would love to go on like a peyote retreat. When you hear the same thing, it's like you vomit and you spend fucking— yeah, you know, you have to have a special shaman like walk you through it and guide it, and they pat your head with a wet towel.

And peyote's mescaline. Mescaline. And I had a buddy of mine who did mescaline in New York City. He said he could hear people talking in another building. He goes he was watching them through the window. They were far away, and he could hear them talking in his head. I was like, what the fuck?

I bet you he couldn't hear what they were saying. I bet he was making up their words. Mm-hmm.

I think he tapped in. I think he tapped into the quantum field. Yeah. Whoa. And he was inside their head. Yeah. Like the alien technology. Technology, just instantaneous transport. Doesn't have to go through sound. You just pick up on the frequency of their thoughts.

Yeah, all drugs would be legal. Whatever, it's your body.

Exactly. If alcohol is legal, and I think it should be, it's one of the worst ones for you. If that shit's legal, how many people—

Colombia, the president of Colombia was like, he was like, alcohol is worse than cocaine. It was a quote 100 years ago. Oh no, it was Hunter Biden. It was Hunter Biden.

I think it's actually true. I think it is true. Yeah, I think actual real cocaine in terms of like the actual like from the coca tree, the disco shit. I'll tell you what's definitely better for you is coca leaves. Those people that live in like the Alps, they just chew on them. Yeah, they chew on coca leaves. That's like in like high mountainous areas, high altitude herders, they chew coca leaves. Yeah, they love that shit. I'm sure it's supposed to be really good. It's supposed to be like great coffee. Yeah, for real. It's like not supposed to be like you're on coke. It's supposed to be like you feel energized and stimulated, and it's not bad for you, but it fucks your teeth up. Oh, I'm sure. You get these dudes with these rotten cocaine chew teeth. You ever seen it? No, I haven't. Find me some coca leaf teeth pictures. Yeah. Ask Perplexity about this condition and why, why do people get coca leaf teeth face? Because it does, it rots your teeth away, it looks like. Sure, but that should be legal too. Just brush your fucking teeth. Yeah, maybe not though. Maybe it eats your teeth because you got to think about if you can make cocaine out of it, what kind of acid stuff is in that leaves.

I don't know, it was just a leaf, right? Something else is coming up.

Oh, that's betel nuts or something.

Oh my God, betel nuts? What is a betel nut? So it doesn't fuck them up from, uh, coca leaves? Oh, even better. Bolivia legalizes chewing it. Click on that Click on that link. NBC News to the right of that. Ew. Yeah, look at that. Bolivia legalizes chewing and ingesting coca leaves. Bolivia wins. They're ahead of us. They win. The real problem with it is fentanyl and the fact that you have to get it from a fucking coke dealer. Yeah. Those are the real problems.

Having to talk to a coke dealer is actually the worst part of the entire process.

Pope plans to chew coca leaves during Bolivia visit. Jesus Christ, the Pope's dead now. They killed him because he wanted to chew the coca leaves. That's a 2015 article. That's wild, dude, because it is weird that— I mean, is cocaine worse than alcohol? Because if it's not, why, why is alcohol the one that's legal?

Says he specifically requested to chew it.

Wow, what a freak. Yeah, it's, uh, Duncan Trussell has a great joke about Adderall. Oh yeah, he goes, Adderall's like someone did cocaine and went I can fix this. I think— I mean, I've never done Adderall either for the same reason that I've never done coke. Like, fuck, it just seems too good. Seems like it gets you too jazzed up.

I mean, I had like debilitating— I still have debilitating ADHD. I haven't done Adderall.

And what does that mean though?

Um, so I get like I get anxiety if I, if I look at my mail on my kitchen counter right now. There's a pile this high of mail. Mm-hmm.

If I look at it, like, I feel like a— 'Cause you're not doing the work. You're not going through your mail.

It's just a crippling depression. It feels like, like, if I do my taxes, like, I have a business manager that does all this shit, but when I had to do it myself, it would like cripple me. I would like, I would feel like I've had depression issues back in the day. It felt like depression. I feel like I want to lie down. When I literally, when I look at the mail on my counter, they call it ADHD paralysis, where there's things that you don't like to do and the tedious little tasks, right? Um, that it feels like, like schoolwork was like really bad for me.

That was really, really hard. But on the flip side, if there's something that you really love, do you have a lot of attention to it? A lot of energy?

I dive in to like, I obsess over it. So like, I love the things that I do. I love work. Like I really love what I do for a living. I do a bunch of things really. But like, I love work. I love getting on business meetings. I love taking a phone call. I love, you know, I love writing jokes. I love going on the road. I like— so the things that I love to do, I dive completely into, and I just sort of—

see, that's where it's stupid to me that that's a disease, right? That seems like you're allergic to boring shit. I don't think that's a disease. I think modern society's got people convinced that's a disease. I think that there—

yes, I think most people don't want to fold their laundry. I think most people don't want to do their taxes or go through their mail. Most— but for me, it hits me in a way where, like, I feel a physical, like, recoil. Like, I genuinely, like—

allergic to boring shit.

I'm allergic to boring shit.

I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I think they got you tricked. They've got all of us tricked. Yeah. Everybody that I know, and me included, that probably has ADHD, or if I think I can go to a doctor, they'd figure out something wrong with me. They'd say there's something wrong with me. Wrong with you. You could have got on pills when you were a kid and it would have ruined all of it. Yeah, it would have fucked up that weird gift that you have where you can lock in. So what's the flip side of that weird gift? The other thing doesn't seem important, right? Other shit is boring, but you have way more energy for the thing that's exciting. It's a great— it's a superpower.

Yeah, it's a great point. And I, by the way, I've said that specifically, that my ADHD is a superpower in certain regards. The fact that I could get so locked in on the things that I really, really want to do. But I've never really considered the fact that that like it's making me avoid doing the things that just are fucking, ugh, tedious, whatever. And by the way, I figured it out. I still went down the path. I'm 44 years old. I get my shit done. I still, the laundry gets folded, the taxes get done, the mail. Yeah, it's just boring. Yeah.

Yeah, but that's discipline. Discipline takes—

That's all I was gonna say. The discipline part is like some people can't. Right. Or like how does it get done, you know?

I mean, I was like a really bad student. Like I just, skin of my teeth graduated.

I understand. But the idea that this gift that you have is what doesn't get concentrated on. The gift is you have an extraordinary amount of energy that you can devote to something you really love. Most people wish they had that. That's the gift. The flip side of it, of course, the other things aren't even remotely interesting because you need to be stimulated in order to give something all of your attention. Some people could just drone on and drone on. Going on and they don't have ADHD, that doesn't— that's not good.

Yeah, I think ADHD just made it— made growing up pretty tough. Like, because you get pegged, you get— you get called a bad kid.

I didn't get good grades.

I'm a millionaire and I had bad grades when I was 12.

You're right. You're not wrong.

No, you're not. Come on, dog, I know I'm right. You're right. All right, let's wrap bitch up. I gotta get out of here. So Gas Digital, what else? Tell everybody. Stankfest on sale today. Oh shit, 4/20, what a good time to sell. Yeah, it's 4/21. Are they on sale today or tomorrow?

They're on sale today. They— yes, this comes out tomorrow. So yesterday they went on sale.

We should have done this podcast yesterday because those bitches— those tickets go quick.

They go fast. So the all-access passes, if I had to guess, are pretty close to sold out, but you can still get single day passes.

Well, I bet the skankers already know. What do you call your people? Skanks. Skanks. The skanks already know.

Yeah, we got a big lineup.

That's amazing, dude. Congratulations on all this, because every comic always agrees that it is absolutely the best festival. They fucking love it. They love the vibe. They love, you know, how much effort and time you guys put into it. It's awesome, dude.

Congratulations. I appreciate it. Yeah, but it's gonna be— it's gonna be— you should come one day, Joe.

I will come one day. Skankfest.com. Skankfest.com.

And yeah, get those tickets. Shane's gonna be there. Mark Norman, Derek Andre, It sounds great.

Everybody, I mean, 170 comics. Everybody loves it.

All right, thank you, man.

Ciao. It was fun. Thank you. All right, bye everybody.