Transcript of #2442 - Ehsan Ahmad

Joe Rogan podcast.

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The Joe Rogan Experience.

Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. Hey, fella.

Hey.

What's going on, brother?

Good to be back, Joe.

Good to see you, as always.

Yeah, this time. This time I have something to, like, actually promote.

Well, you're always promoting, so, I mean, any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion, right? You're promoting, the audience gets to see you.

Right, right, right. It was so funny. Cause it got me thinking. So I started watching Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances. Cause there's a list of them on Spotify. And what was so funny to me was like, you know how they have these, like. These group of, like, mentally disabled people that they kind of fuck with Opie and Anthony? Yeah, yeah. Like a carousel. It's, like, kind of mean.

It's kind of horrible. Yeah.

It's kind of like, ooh. I'm kind of glad we're past that. But what made me laug every single one of them at the end of the thing was like, and here's my website.

I had a website.

And I was like, damn, I've been on the Joe Rogan Experience twice, and I don't even have a website.

You didn't have a website?

I didn't have a website. This is the first time I had a website.

Wow. What did you do? Did you make it yourself?

No. I realized, oh, I gotta just pay people to do stuff like that. That's out of my wheelhouse of things I can do ironically. I'm terrible with technology. For a guy who looks like me.

There'S things you could do. Like, Squarespace has a great setup. It's pretty easy to do. Yeah.

Yeah, but that's. I think that's just pure. It's like, pure laziness on my end, for sure. And a little bit, like, I spend so much time on my, like, my brain space, and this is dedicated to my jokes. I don't. I kind of shut out everything else.

It's a fun time to be alive. One of the things is really. That's really exciting about the Mothership is for someone like me who's been doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch. You know, like, see guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a spot and kill Tony to being a regular and kill Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live.

Boom. It's crazy. Like, some of them, like, Christina Mariani now just, like, sells out rooms at the Comedy Store all the time.

She's killing it just.

And then you have like Peyton Ruddy and like Dylan Carlino. These are just guys who were just at the club and just made a way like social media wise and you.

Get to see people get just tighter and better. Like McCusker's new set, like we did last night. Really fucking good, man. Super solid, really fun. It's just like we got a good thing, man. It's a good thing. Yeah, it's a fun.

It's just a fun place to be around everyone just working jokes. That's what it is. Really. It's so funny. There is such this narrative outside of the ship about what Austin comedy is, and it's just really just a bunch of people just doing jokes.

The narrative is only with jealous people. It's not based on any reality. It's not based on people go there and hang out.

Right? Well, it's, it's. It's always these people who love to talk about Austin, but they don't talk to anyone in Austin. It's like there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out and talk to you.

I think I've told you this before, but I have a friend of mine who's, you know, somewhat of a philosopher, an online friend. I don't even know what he looks like. We've been going back and forth for years, but he warned me about this a long time ago. He said, you've created a walled garden. And he goes, and you've got all these friends and you're all supporting each other and you're all having fun, but there's a lot of people that feel on the outside and they feel like left out of it. And so they're like those people that party sucks. You know, it's kind of along those lines. And, you know, if you could find some connections to other negative things, you know, like me and Tony, we have this connection to Trump. And so does Shane. And you know, there's, there's all sorts of that, oh, fucking, you got to be a right winger to be. And then the narrative comes up, oh, you gotta tell jokes about fucking trans people. You have to. Yeah, you can't be a liberal, you can't be a this, you can't be like, well, that.

The, the whole, the whole, like, you have to be a right winger. That's like, to me, that's like massive projection. Because there are these spaces where, like, if you're a right winger in comedy, like, there's like leftist spaces that you just can't be in.

For sure you'll get Pushed out.

Right.

You'll get treated badly. More importantly, whereas at the Mothership, like that fucking green room, like 80% of the time, it's mostly like progressive people.

Yeah.

Oh, and mostly left wing people.

A lot of people. Most of the people who work there are mostly left wing. Yeah. It's a place where. It's a place where. But because right wing people, I guess, are allowed to be here or like, also allowed to be here, it's all of a sudden this right wing Nazi haven't.

Well, it's also. It's like, what does that even mean?

Right?

Like, what is right wing? Like, because you don't think that that candidate and what they were doing by like storming the fucking gates with illegal immigrants, you don't think that was a good idea? You don't think, like rampant spending completely unchecked with no documentation, like, what's going on in California? You don't think. I don't think that's a bad thing.

What Tim Waltz is doing.

I mean, there's so much of it, man. But then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing, like, fucking shooting that lady seems kind of craz, you know, like grabbing people that happen to be American citizens and fucking dragging them out onto the snow and ask them for their papers. That seems kind of fucking crazy too.

Yeah, that seems insane.

But it's also like, they have a crazy job. Like, imagine you're an ICE agent. Just imagine what happened. Okay, so we tried. We used our sponsor Perplexity the other day and tried to figure out through AI what the exact number is. But when you deep dive, you realize they don't know the number. They really have, like, an estimate of interactions with illegal immigrants, and it's somewhere around 11 million for four years, which is fucking wild. That's 10 Austins.

Okay.

Yeah. At least of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country, aided to get in this country, and then moved to states. They moved them. They flew them out to certain swing states. Like, this is all. Mike Benz has documented all this stuff. There's all you can see. They gave him EBT cards. Like, so imagine. You can imagine two things. One, imagine you're one of those people, like, dude, they're asking me to come. This is awesome. Now I'm in America, I'm gonna get a good job, I'm gonna be able to support my family. And then all sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof vests looking for you on the streets.

Yeah. Yeah.

I thought you said it was okay. I thought the Red Cross gave me a map. I was. You gave me a fucking cell phone, and now you're hunting me right now.

You're just, like, caught in the crossfire.

But now imagine the ICE agents, okay? This is your job. Your job is to go out and find these people. And one of the things you don't get about this, it's like, because there was, like, a recent clip of mine that got, like, highlighted where I was criticizing ice. One of the things that you don't think about when you're into this is just like regular police interactions. The ones that you see online are the horrible ones. So you think all cops are horrible. What you miss is the millions of interactions that people have with cops. Like, how you doing today, sir? Good, sir. How you doing? Can I see your paperwork? Sure. Here it is. You in a hurry? I fucked up. Late for work, you know. All right, man. Just slow down. Go like, all right. Thanks, brother. Everything's nice. That happens, too. Like, there's nice interactions with cops. There's people that save people from bad guys. It happens all the time. There's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped the burglar who is breaking into their fucking mom's house or whatever it is, right? There's so many more of those, but you're not seeing those videos.

And so with the ICE thing, what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about American citizens that have been arrested, the lady that got shot, you're hearing about all these negative. What you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've caught. And it's a lot. It's in the thousands. It's not like thousands of American citizens have been shipped out to other countries. No, it's like, net positive if you look at it that way. Like the. See if you can find out how many, because I know there's probably going to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate, but find out, like, what are the number of violent criminals they've caught since they started doing that? This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace makes building and managing your website ridiculously easy. They give you everything you need to showcase what you do and get paid all in one place. And with cutting edge design tools, anyone can create a custom site that truly fits their brand.

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Well, also Also, the. There is a question on this is how I. Because I know this is how they recruit some ICE agents. It's just like their ads on local tv, just offering. They do it on.

Yeah, during the ufc. There's an ice ad. Yeah.

And it's like, these are just like, also regular people. How much training are they really getting?

Right?

Because when you watch the shooting video, you're like, why is the guy shooting Also recording with his phone? Like, there's no way that's like anything.

You'Re trying to do his own safety, like, just to make sure that you could see this lady's unhinged. Is he not wearing a body camera? He's not a cop, right? Yeah, but he's not wearing a body camera.

Yeah.

So I bet that's why. I bet that's why I filmed it. And also, that same guy, turns out, was dragged by a car just recently. So, like, he almost lost his life or someone did try to run him over. He's hanging onto a car for dear life. I think he got 300ft.

He got dragged 300ft.

That's crazy. 300ft is. That's a long way to get dragged. Yeah, yeah, right. You know, you. 100%, there's a full possibility that you may die. There's no single public record number of violent criminals captured by ICE raids just over the last few months. And available data suggests those cases are relatively small share of recent ICE arrests and detentions. One analysis, ICE internal data said that only 5 to 8% of the people booked into ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious property crime convictions. But Even if it's 8%, they've gotten rid of a half a million people already, and then 1.6 million voluntarily deported. So in a half a million people, 8% is a lot. That's a lot of violent criminals. So this is weirdly phrased, as of January 20th, I would say 8% is a lot. Like, if you have cancer in 8% of your body, I would say you're fucked. You know what I'm saying? Like, if they're saying, oh, it's only been 8% that are violent criminals, it's a lot. That's a lot of people.

But now the question is, are these 8% and then the nonviolent people sent to the same place?

Ooh, that's a good question.

You know what I mean? Because you do want the violent criminals out. But then I don't want the non violent criminals to be sent or not. Or non violent people who are here to be sent to a prison.

Exactly. It says ICE no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case level arrest breakdowns by offense type and independent projects. So imagine if you're a dude from Mexico that just walked up here because you wanted a better job and then they shove you in a prison.

And now. Yeah. In some prison and you never did.

Anything bad your whole life. And now you're in some. Well, the El Salvador thing. Are they still doing that?

I don't. That. I don't. That.

I don't know. That that was a bad. Yeah, that's bad optics.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of optics is the optics with ICE has been terrible.

It says recent enforcement has involved thousands of arrests nationwide, but available analysis consistently indicate that only a small minority of those. Is that in italics? No. Is it not.

Is it maybe Weird, right?

Yeah. Looks a little funky. No, no, it's not. It's just that's. That's perplexity showing its bias. Small minority of those. That's a to. Of those in ICE detention arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have violent criminal convictions. Most have no convictions. But when they sang small minority, they indicated previously, that's 8%. That still means a lot of human beings. Yeah, yeah, That's a lot of violent human beings. Like if you could sign a piece of paper that said that, you know, we're going to allow a bunch of people into this country, most of them have no violent convictions, but about 8% are monsters. Evil sociopathic murderers, drug dealers. 8% is a giant ass fucking number.

Right.

That's a giant ass number. Right. The real problem is that they have to do this. This is a real problem because the Democrats did what they did. They did a crazy thing. They opened the border up and told people the border was open and then let people. And then when people tried to stop them from doing it, they used court orders. Like, what was that thing they did down in Texas at the border?

Oh, yeah, because Abbott tried to put up something, some like wall or something.

They said you can't stop this.

Yeah.

Which is. Wait a minute. We can't stop people from breaking the law. Like, what are you saying? There's a method to stop this and you don't want it stopped.

Right.

Because the dirty secret is the census doesn't count citizens, counts everybody. It even counts illegals. So if you live in a community that's half illegal aliens, you get way more congressional seats from that district than if you are in a community where all those people don't count. They said that. I think they said that California, if the census did, see if we can find out what the number is. But if the census did not count illegal immigrants in California, I think they would lose a shocking number of seats.

Right.

Which is kind of crazy.

That's crazy.

You're rigging politics by moving humans into place.

Yeah, well, you gotta do something. A very. Something that no one really talks about a lot is like, the Democrats, every single minority group shifted. Right. In 2024.

Right.

Every single one. And no one really is like, actually trying to figure out why that's happening. They're like, well, if we just import more people, we can overcome that deficit.

But they could. They could. If it was successful, they could overwhelm the political process. They could make it just like it's California forever. Where you get half the people are like, massively disgruntled and so confused about the politics, but they're stuck. And that would be the whole country. It would essentially be that kind of a thing. And then they do what they do in England, and what they do in Canada was they slowly start clamping down on your rights.

Right.

And England starts arresting people for social media posts.

Well, I, you know, I Hopefully that the free speech stuff is so ingrained in our. Who we are as a people, because England, like, at the end of the day, it's not like that country was built on that principle.

This is. Says that they would only lose two house seats. It says California would lose. I called it Canada.

Yeah, it was like Freudian.

Would lose an order of one to two house seats if people in the state without legal status were not counted in the census used for appointment based on recent expert simulations. All right, what's that? Here's the thing. Like, how many illegals are in California? Let's find that out. Like, what is the estimated number? Put that in there, Jamie. What's the estimated number of illegals in California? I don't know where I'd be without this kind of shit.

Yeah, yeah.

So hooked on using, like, perplexity for any question I have all throughout the day. It's like, my smart friend, it's like.

Better Wikipedia, because it can really, like, you can use it as, like, way better than Wikipedia. Yeah. Because you can ask.

It's the entire Internet. And sometimes it does catch some articles in there and says it might be this. And you're like, wait a minute. What? Let me go to that article. That might be bullshit because it's only pulling from the Internet. Right.

Undocumented, 2.8 million in 2007. That's what. Yeah, that. That would be around two seats. Right, because there's like 30 million in.

California, something like that. Yeah, yeah, that makes a difference. And then you do the same thing in Seattle. You do the same thing in wherever, you know, places. You have massive numbers of undocumented people. Ohio is a big one. You know, this is one of the reasons why they had this thing where, like, why are there so many Haitians in Ohio? Well, what do you think? Think they just decided Ohio's a spot and they all had a group WhatsApp chat and they all went there? No, probably somebody's moving them there because it's a sweet state.

It was funny when the Somalian thing, when Waltz was like, this is white supremacy.

That's crazy.

And it was like, hey, but then who's the most supreme white man in the state, Governor?

You bitch.

Yeah, like, that's a crazy Freudian slip.

But it's also like, what a crazy attempt at misdirection. White men commit most of crimes.

Yeah, that's part. I think I told you, that's part of the reason why I think, like, minority groups are shifting away because it's like one that. I don't think that's something. The whole victimhood mentality, that's not something that minority groups really experience or like, value.

Especially not minority groups that are immigrants that are in the middle of the hustle.

Right.

We got to go to work.

Like, we got to overcome. That's the whole point. Regardless of the hand you're dealt, you got to just play it and overcome. And so that victimhood mentality really kind of pushes people away from the left, I think, in that manner. And then like, you know, when Biden was like, you know, if you don't vote for me, you're not black. It's like that's kind of how they. That's kind of how they view the minority vote. It's a hostage vote. It's like, vote for us or else.

Yeah.

It's like no one likes that energy coming towards them and they'll lash out and go in a different direction.

Such a wild thing to say.

I mean, unbelievably funny. Unbelievably funny, man.

It's just. I can't believe he fucking said it. He's so cr. And he said it with that crazy pulled back face. And it's like, this is madness that whatever they did to him to make him look. Try to look younger.

Yeah.

Doesn't Work, kids. No.

Oh, my God. All that.

We know what you used to look like. You're on TV all the time, and all of a sudden you. You have a completely different face. Like, your face is different. Like, you're all your. Everything's pulled back and looks. It doesn't look like anybody normal that's 80 years old.

No.

All the.

All plastic surgery ages. Like you an alien when you're old. There's just no way around it. I don't know who lip fillers are for because I don't know any guy who's like, yeah, I like. I like that look like that much. But it's. It's crazy how they age.

The facial fillers are crazy, too, because sometimes those things become a problem, and then you got to get them removed.

And, well, now they're doing that buckle fat thing. Oh, where they look like ghouls.

Why would they do that? Why would they take fat out of their face? Like, fat in your face is what makes you look youthful. What are those ladies going to look like when they hit their 60s?

They're going to look like ghosts, maybe. Because their faces will be all sunken.

In by the time they're 60. I think medicine is going to be at a level where they're going to be able to reverse aging. They're pretty close to being able to do that. They've already done some stuff with mice, and they've. They've done some stuff where they're. They're understanding, like, what genes are causing you to have these problems, what things could be done to mitigate it. And they're treating aging not like an inevitable aspect of life, but as, like, a disease that you get over time.

Right.

Instead of, like, accepting the fact that your body's going to age at a very specific rate, and then when you're 60, it's gonna suck. When you're 70, it'll suck worse. Instead, it's like, what's causing that? Let's reverse what's causing it. And, you know, essentially, if you can do that, and I think they can, if they can't do it now, they're gonna be able to do it. Whoa.

Jesus.

What happened? Okay, but this is, like, day one, this lady just had surgery. This popped up on my feed a few times. She's 69, almost 70. Holy. That lady does not look even close to 69 or 70. Is that true?

Kind of uncanny.

Is that true? Is that doctor crazy? He's making it up. She's like, I'm 40.

It just. It just feels like One of those human dolls.

What did she look like before? There you go. Whoa. That's the same lady, bro. That's crazy. You could pick her up at a bar and then you're like, why do you smell old?

God, that's. That's crazy.

You had that old people smell. Sprayed perfume all over their body. Oh, I remember. There was this episode of that show Autopsy. Did you ever see that show Autopsy? There's this guy, Michael Baden, and he's a famous forensic scientist that, like, examines cases and says, this is actually a murder. And he catches people. And one of them was this guy who was really crazy and his wife died. I wonder if it was his wife or a lady he knew died. I forget the circumstances, but he kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached to the corpse and then had cases of perfume. And so apparently the bot he just kept.

Is this, like an older guy, an older story? Yeah, it's like some Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell in love with and then she died. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ye. It wasn't his wife, right?

No, it was like. It was like in a plaster case thing. And it was a. Yeah.

And then.

Crazy.

It had a mask on it. So it was like a corpse that was, like, years old with a mask on it and an artificial vagina and cases and cases of perfume. So this guy's just covering this thing. Perfume. Getting his on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamie, just.

You gotta find that. You gotta find the picture of it.

He even inserted a paper tube into her decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina for making love. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That said the fake vagina, I think it was. Yeah, it was like something he made. Like, he made something. Dude, people made a thing to.

People go through lengths to get their rocks off. That's crazy. It's like ingenuity. That's like. Man, if you. If you had that energy towards anything.

Positive, you could get to Mars.

Yeah.

You figure stuff out. Find us a photo of the corpse.

There we go.

Yeah. So this is.

Oh, no, that's Carl Tanzler. That's a different guy, but it's a different one. But he did the same thing. Thing.

Oh, God.

Yeah. Key West.

Same thing. Secretly took her body or used French plaster, preserve her skin, rigged wires and hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped a continuous stream of perfume to mass. The stench of the scent of decay, disturbing arrangement continued for seven years till it's finally Discovered by her sister. Oh, God.

What a horror story that is.

Oh, God. You find your sister's body, and it's just there's a continual stream of perfume to keep people from knowing there's a rotted body up there.

Oh, God.

He did it for years. God, Men are.

Well, yeah, well, you know, and any sort of, like, weird predator will end up in that situation where they can do their thing, right? So, like, if you like dead bodies, you're gonna be in a corpse. Like, sadly, like, there's like a. Like, female pedophiles just become middle school teachers.

Those in the 30s.

That's what they do.

Jeez. Carl Tanzler. Oh, God. And that's Dr. Michael Baden, the HBO show. That show is awesome, man.

Oh, and he did Epstein's autopsy.

Yeah, he's one of the ones that said that the wounds were consistent with ligature strangulation, not with hanging.

Yeah, yeah, we talked about this last time.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, so far. So I recorded my special on the 25th of October, and I have a bunch of Epstein jokes in there. And in the meantime, they. They said they released the files. And I was like, oh, no. But they still haven't released them. And I was like, oh, thank God. The joke still. I was like, oh, my God. Thank God. Because I have, like, at least two separate times where I bring them up, because it was so. It was even bigger back then.

Well, it's going to go on for a long time, I suspect. I mean, they said they released them, but what did they release?

No, they're still not all out yet.

What do they release? Yeah, like, it's weird. The whole thing's weird.

It reminds me. It reminds me of that Onion article where they're like, oh, CIA realizes they've been using a black highlighter this entire time. Like, it's like that. It's like, oh, okay.

You know, just blacked out pages, redacted the shit out of everything.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, what did they release? Did they release something recently?

No, they haven't released anything in a minute. They had that initial release where everything was blacked out, and it was that picture of Winnie the Pooh, which was hilarious.

But isn't there talk about some new releases that are happening soon? Have they?

It feels like everything's been drowned out by everything else. Been going on with, like, Somali, the Somalians, and the ice shooting. It feels like that's completely drowned out anything about it.

Think some of that's on purpose?

Oh, 100%.

27 minutes ago. Update story. A federal judge blocked the effort to force the release of more files. Okay. The federal judge let's. We said it a little bit wrong. Is the federal judge blocked the lawmakers effort to force the DOJ to release the Epstein file. So they're trying to. To force the doj. They already were forced to. They've missed deadlines. And a federal judge blocked them from forcing them to release it. So a federal judge said, no, you can't force them to release it. Even though you campaigned on it.

Yeah.

Even though you ran on it. Even though you stood outside that courthouse with a bunch of binders. We've got it.

Got him.

He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to. Oh, I see. Okay, that's a little different. So the federal judge Wednesday ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert to ensure the Justice Department complies with a law that makes all files pertaining to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available for public view. Okay, that's different.

Yeah. But still, the.

The.

The law chess that they play to make sure it still can't come out is pretty crazy impressive. But I don't have the jurisdiction or.

If you're a federal judge, you can't. You have to do. You can't step outside of your boundaries.

Is that. Don't. Don't they kind of just do that sometimes, though?

Yeah, it's not. You're not supposed to. Just because some of them are unethical or some of them.

That's fair.

Yeah. I don't understand all this. So I'm gonna be charitable about it. Yeah, I'm gonna be charitable about it, but I just don't understand how anybody can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't have anybody they sex traffic to.

Right.

Like, that don't make any sense. Like, if I was Ghislaine's lawyer, I'd be like, to who? Like, how did he not do that? Like, you want to tell me there's some sort of a compromise trial? How do you not have a lawyer that goes, who did she sex traffic to?

Right. That's. Clearly there's some sort of backdoor deal that was like, hey, because you spend this time in jail and we won't kill you.

Of course.

Yeah.

Or also, she's working with them.

Right.

How do you have. I mean, in any way, shape or form, how do you have a person convicted of a crime when there's like, especially that kind of a crime, where there's a person that hires you or gives you money or that you use to get influence from and then you sex traffic to them. So there's another person involved and that other person is completely eliminated from the trial. Because what, because they're billionaires? Because they're heads of state. Like they're powerful enough prominent scientists. What is going. Like, how is that. Okay, that doesn't even make sense that you could get through a whole trial like that.

Yeah, but I think that's just a. I was saying this earlier. I think this is just a function of government. These like intense, like blackmail sex rings that everyone just kind of gets away with it.

Well, yeah, it seems like it just.

Happens over and over again.

But it's like, look at it this way. Like imagine if you were selling hash, right? And you had like pounds and pounds of hash at your house and you've been selling hash and you got caught selling hash. They charge you with distribution and you're like, okay, but distributed to who? Because you're only selling to like rich famous people. You're only selling them to like heads of JP Morgan. You're selling all your hash to those guys and they're like, well, who did he sell the hash to? Nobody. Somebody bought $100 million with a hash and there's nobody. You have no. No purse. That doesn't make any sense. There's no crime. So he's didn't really sell it. It. You could say he possesses it, but maybe intent to distribute. But if you want to get him for actual distribution and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody, man. At least an undercover agent.

Right? But like in this situation, it's like, did we ever really think anyone was really going to go to jail for this?

I feel like with continual, constant pressure, it has to slowly leak out.

Man. I wish I was that optimistic about it. They've done a good job of. They've done a good job of it. Of keeping the names out of the press even after they said they would leak them.

It says here FBI and DOJ records from 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged Epstein co conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling agent Jean Luc Brunel, who died in French custody in 2022.

That's a way to get out of it too. Be like, oh, he sold. She sold it to a dead guy.

Yeah. But it's also. This is not saying that sold it to them. They're co conspirators. So they were probably involved in facilitating. They're probably involved in acquiring these girls, making connections because that guy owned a modeling agency. So he's or he's a modeling agent. Right, right, right. So that guy's getting him girls. So he's a co conspirator. It's not saying that he was John. You know, he was a John that was getting the girls. He was a co conspirator. So there's at least 10 individuals who are also. Which makes sense. If you have this giant blackmail ring, it's not gonna be like one guy.

Right. I also found it funny, the whole we Mark that Mark Epstein guy, his just brother came out of nowhere for.

Like a little bit.

For a little bit. Yeah.

He's like, fuck this, first of all.

What do you mean? A brother that just knows everything that happened? Because he came out and said that wasn't like the email that was like, oh, Clinton, Trump's on clip. Suck Clinton's dick.

Yeah.

He was like, no, bubble wasn't Clinton. But you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick.

Sucks some guy named Bubba's dick, Some truck driver. What is. Were you just showing us disappear that a few of those people were protected by the 2008 non prosecution agreement? That's little slap on the wrist protected a bunch of people. Right. And so they continued to be protected. Is that the idea? That's where. No. I don't know if anybody knows.

Nothing's better in law than a technicality, huh?

Slippery one. So what did Epstein's brother wind up saying?

He said it wasn't Bubba and then. Which. Which implied that he knew that he knew exactly what was going on in the island the whole time. And it's just out and about.

But he's still saying that Trump suck someone's dick.

Yeah. And then he just straight up disappeared. Where the fuck did he go? We just learned about him, man.

I believe a lot of things. I do not believe Trump sucks someone's dick because he doesn't do drugs. You know what I mean? When Charlie Sheen was saying he sucks some guy's dick, like, okay, Charlie was doing so much crack, it was out of his fucking mind.

I feel like that level of power is a drug at that point.

I mean, maybe. I don't think so. I don't know.

It's a very.

I don't think it's gonna get Trump to suck a dick. It just doesn't seem. That's a guy who's fucked up on drugs. That's like when Diddy was doing it, they were all doing drugs. It's a drug thing, right? Unless you're a gay man. It's a Drug thing to go around sucking dicks. Are we assuming that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire. Not a chance in hell.

That'd be the most impressive hide of all time.

Also. Why would he do that?

Yeah, there's no reason.

If you're open and you're gay, you side with the Democrats. Like that's the move. You can probably do all the exact same things when you get into office. Right. Horseshit. That's not a follow up question and.

It does not know who's in charge of Epstein's estates.

It's thinking. Look at, look at it thinking.

Your laptop's about to blow up.

I would stop drones about to hit the building. The Mothership's gonna be on fire tonight when we get there. Um.

So. Yeah.

Jesus Christ, man. It's so funny. It's like, it's. It's an attempted cover up of corruption that would have been successful in the seventies.

Right.

Right. They had pulled this shit off in the 70s of the 80s.

Gone was the whole Franklin scandal.

Sure.

Yeah. They. They killed that reporter.

Yes.

They killed that reporter. There was definitely some.

Yes.

Underage sexual thing going on there. And they were like dead. You and your son. That's what you get for fucking around. Around.

Yeah.

We'll kill both of you.

There have. Well, you know, Tucker's talked about this and a few other people have talked about this. There's a bunch of secretly gay politicians.

Oh, yeah.

And then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles as well.

Yeah. I mean, definitely.

For sure.

There's definitely. I'd like, I. I pulled that once on bottom of the barrel. Just secretly gay Republicans. That was my thing. And then I was like, can you imagine how good that sex feels? Especially after you spent all day being like, it's bad, it's wrong. Yeah. Sex is extra hot.

Yeah.

Because you're going against God and your party at one time.

Some twink with his Converse on.

Yeah. But yeah, and then you go back and be like family value. Like that level of.

I think there's a lot of them that are putting on a show. A lot of them. They're putting on an act. And you, you're never going to get to know who they really are. And that's why when something comes out, it's like shocking. They're all weirdos. They're all weirdos. You have to be a weirdo to want to run the. Oh, you have to be like this amazing person. Like it's two options. Right. Be Gandhi or you're a Weirdo. You know what I mean?

And speaking of pedophiles, we had a Speaker of the House that was a pedophile for like eight years.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah. A real one.

A real deal pedophile.

Real deal. Convicted pedophile.

What was his name again? I think might have been has.

I think so.

I feel like we should look that up.

So yeah.

I don't want to be like it was like a nice guy and we're calling a red of all but what speak of the House.

He was involved in a very big scandal of it.

Right. Dennis Hester.

Yeah. Yes.

It was. It was. It was like some Sandusky shit. It was at a school that he was teaching at.

Exactly. Allegations that Senate. Scroll up a little. Senate candidate Roy Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning and sexually assaulting high school aged girls was shocking, but not without precedent. There have been plenty of congressmen who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas Jefferson. That was back when people died when they were 18. Yeah. Strom Thurmond, perhaps more dastardly. Illinois Rep. Dennis Hastert served as speaker of the house from 99. 2007.

And a little further down says an additional city agreed that Hastert sodomized a fourth grade boy in a high school in a school bathroom and threatened him if he reported assault. That's like Sandusky stuff. Yeah.

Christ. Since the statute of limitation had expired on these crimes, Hastert was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in order to secretly pay off his victims.

That's so funny.

Serve 15 months in prison. That's it. Holy.

That's so crazy. To pay off your victims and not do it in cash. What? Yeah.

That's a lot of money.

That's fair.

I bet it was. I bet it was quite a bit of money. Holy. Dude.

Yeah.

And just figure the House one kid that got saw a fourth grade boy in a school bathroom. How many more did he do that to? How many Just don't want the shame of it coming out publicly. How many guys are struggling with it right now? They're 35 years old. They don't want to tell that story.

Right.

That ruined their life. Because the speaker of the House them crazy, crazy crazy. And he. So he's not alone.

No.

Right.

No.

That's the Franklin scandal.

And there's no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people. Just the way the political machine works. But that's like sort of like, like, you get me for this, I'll get you for this. So you keep that under wraps. You Just have that in your back pocket.

Think it's just part of that game that they play.

Oh, for sure.

It's like Game of Thrones.

For sure. It's.

It really is. It really is like Game of Thrones.

It's just. Yeah. Whorehouses and like, House of Cards.

Right? It sucks that Kevin Spacey got busted because that show ruled.

I know, right? But you know, it's so funny because thinking back on it, like, if you looked at movies, I. My genuine take before he got busted for this is he plays the greatest villains.

Yes.

He's like the greatest villain actor of all time.

He's the greatest creep.

Mm.

He's like a brilliant creep. Like, with darkness behind his eyes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then can turn it on, the charm, that Southern charm for the camera. How about when he did that fucking weird video in front of the fireplace?

Oh, dude.

Like in character, right? Kill him with kindness.

Right after. Right after the witness to his case died. Like, another witness to his case died.

Y. Yeah. Like.

Yeah. People were dropping or like flies around space. Either crazy. Real deal villain acting out the literal.

Plot lines as the character being the character while he's tending the fire.

Goes to show you, you can still be a. I mean, he's still a genius artist.

Amazing. Yeah.

Just like a wow. Amazing.

And in any other time, he would have never gotten caught.

Yeah, that. That's just how the machine worked at the. Yeah.

I mean, he's just one of those guys that got an immense amount of power and he was just grabber, like, give me a dick. And I bet a lot of guys were like, okay, that's the problem with wild pitches. You know, you. You swing at every pitch. You're gonna hit a few.

Right.

You know, but he's probably, you know, for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said, you know, probably drunk, probably up. How many guys, like, let him suck their dick? A lot. I bet. I bet it was an effective strategy, Right.

Especially for famous in Hollywood.

Did it together guys. But he was like, the one guy that the story broke was a young teenager. Right. Was he like 14 or something like that?

Yeah.

And they were working together or something like that.

It was. It was definitely a minor.

But it's also like, why is that teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay guys? Like, hey, where's your dad? The is going on? What are you doing there? But it's, you know, it's not excusing him for doing it. The thing about people in the gay community is they look Very differently at teenage boy, gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like teenage girl men relationships. They look at it very differently. Like Milo got in trouble for that. Is Milo on, on my podcast was talking about this guy that molested him. He's like, trust me, I was the prototype.

Right?

That's what he said. That's a crazy thing to say, but they look at it differently.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's. I remember someone was. I was living in LA and we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the. You know, we had a bed in the living room for guests to stay over. So he was, he like lived there for like two months and they were. We were watching Call Me by youy Name name and he. It's like a, it's like a, it's army hammer and maybe it's Shalam. I forgot I, I was in and out. My roommates were watching it. But it's like a, about a, a gay story between an older man and a, a younger boy. And yeah, he, he would say, he said this red, like he was watching it like, oh, this reads like a fan fiction of an older gay dude being in love with like a younger gay guy. Yeah, it's like a. I, I remember that. I remember him telling us that. I'm like, okay, that's interesting.

Well, I mean it kind of makes sense, right? Because we think very differently of like, like a high school football player that winds up banging a really hot science teacher.

Yeah.

You know, you're not mad. You just like, this is crazy. That lady's crazy. She's 35, she's got two kids. She a 17 year old boy in the bathroom. Like.

Yeah, yeah, that's. I said that earlier. Female pedophiles become teachers. That is, that is what they do. They find the way.

It's very, very, very different. Different than the scenario of like the football coach that's banging the cheerleader. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's my daughter.

Lynch him. Yeah.

Yeah, that's way gross.

It's weird, right? Yeah, it is weird.

Yeah. It's like. Yeah, with. Every, every time there is that there's a South park episode about it. Every time you hear that story about, you know, the, the, the older teacher, the young boy, every guy's kind of like, nice.

Yeah, well, you know, had the best joke about it was Zach Alifanakis. He said, do you hear the boy dying? Died. You know, his friends high fived him to death.

Man, that live at the Purple Onion.

Oh, fantastic.

That was, that was a, that was A great special.

What is he doing these days?

I have no idea. He. He was on that show for a while in fx Baskets. That was really good about the Clown. Louis Anderson won the Emmy on it.

He owns a farm somewhere. He has, like, a farm. That's. I think he's like. He's very smart. Have you ever talked to him?

I've never met him. I've never. The only time I saw. I only saw him. I saw him live was at Brody's memorial.

Yeah, he was real tight with Brody. He's one of the ways that I found out that Brody was off his meds. He contacted me. Do you remember that one time when Brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and was, like, yelling at people in the audience sometimes? And it got weird. It wasn't like performance arty anymore. It was like, what's happening with bro Brody? And then he got back and he, like, bounced it out. Brody had, like, legit problem. Whatever it was, whatever his mental health issue was. Like, he needed medication. Like, he was. He was legit crazy. And Zach contacted me and said, it seems like Brody's office med. So just don't engage with him. Damn, damn, damn. So it's like you got to kind of figure out a way to corral him, get him back on his stuff and who.

But, man, when it. When he was in that main room, when he was in that main room and that crowd was left of the crowd was rocking with him. It was just so much fun just watching him play drums.

He came into the improv one night. We were doing a later show, so it was like a 10 o' clock show, and he was on late, and the show was kind of petering out. You know how it does. And at the time, it was probably like about half full. And then. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens. Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging it around in the air like a fl. He goes through the crowd. Let's go. Energy. And, like, he just gets everybody fired up. He immediately breaks out the drumsticks, starts drumming on the seat, and then starts telling jokes and just change the whole tempo of the room. Like, everything lit up. It was awesome. It was like, that's what Brody can do.

Yeah.

With pure charisma and talent and just. Just personality.

And anytime I see him, like, anytime I see a person in the audience like this, all arms crossed, negative. That's all I can think. That's all I can think. It's like, wow, you are giving me negative energy right now for no reason, for no Reason you're at a show, come and enjoy it, you know, especially when you see it. Because I cold open a lot. You see like, like you see people be like, why are you, Why'd you come here? Like, impress me. Like, you're already here.

Enjoy, enjoy the energy sometimes for people to loosen up. You have the hardest job when you have. When we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows and you cold open. I've only cold open a few times over the last few years.

Yeah.

And it over the last 10 years, it's hard. You got to hypnotize those people. You got to slowly work your way into the rhythm of jokes.

Oh, yeah. You have to sort of like, it's, it's. I like it because it's energy matching. Like you have to find out where they are, catch on to them, and then bring them to the energy that you want.

Really good at it.

Yeah.

Hans Kim.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Really good.

It's just straight jokes, huh?

It's just straight jokes. And he's funny looking, you know, like, like he's got a big smile on his face, like he's having fun. You kind of get into his groove real quick. And you know, he did so many arenas with me in so many big places and he was the perfect guy because he would just go, let me tell you something about myself. Then right away he would take control of the room. It was awesome.

Derek's great at bringing him into. It's fun watching. It's fun watching the different people, like their different cold, open strategies.

Derek is just like getting everybody fired up, excitement and he's so lovable. You know, he's got again, so much charisma, right?

Yeah. But it's the cold opening for as long as I have done and my career, even pre this club, it's just, it made me, I feel like so much stronger because like almost like running with ankle weights on and then now like leading up to me releasing the too soon, I was like, like, oh. I was like. All these spots I was getting at the end of the shows, these were material. This is all material that I tested at the beginning of Rogan and Friends, which especially at the beginning of the club, a lot of people were like, wait, you're not Rogan talking to a friend. Like they thought they were coming to a live podcast before. You know, it took a while before the shows were like, oh, yeah, this is a stand up show. So really?

Yeah, people thought it was going to.

Be a podcast at the very beginning. There were some episodes where you had to like introduce the concept of this is going to be standard. Yeah. Now it's not like that, but like at the very beginning it for sure was. But like, it was like, I felt my material was like battle tested.

Well, it certainly is. That's. That's the running with weights is a great analogy. That's exactly what it is.

Yeah. It makes the jokes so much stronger.

You know what else is really good for your act is hosting.

Yeah.

Because you go up so often. Like, one of the things that really helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting potluck. Because you know you have to. There's all this chaos. Someone just bombed. Something crazy just happened. Someone just did something completely fucking insane. You have a chance to make fun of it.

Reset the room.

Reset the room. And there's a comfort level that comes out because you're essentially doing stand up from 8:00pm to 2:00am yes.

Yeah. When I first started, when I lived in. First was a door guy in Hollywood. Derek was booking the Madhouse and I would come down and host the weekend show. So every day I'd host from. Every weekend or two weekends a month, I would host from 5 to 2 in the morning. Because you'd host the open mic afterwards and you just host the entire night. It's a full day's worth of hosting.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it's like, it's, it's because the opening of spots suck, but like they make you better. It's the ones that suck that make you better.

It's definitely. Well, you realize like where the sloppy parts of your bits are like you're saying, I'm like, ew.

Right.

It gets you. You're like, oh, right. Like, whereas the. When the crowd's popping and they're laughing and everything, they want to laugh. You can get that. It. I'll actually get a laugh. But then when like it's quiet and it's the beginning of the show, you realize, oh, this bit sucks.

Right.

Like, oh, I gotta bring this bit to the garage.

Yeah, yeah, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta not put it up front. What was I thinking?

I gotta tighten this up. But it's, you know, there's plenty of other spots. That's the beautiful thing. I mean, we're running four shows a night every night. And so, and then.

And there's so much around the scene. There's so much. I was, I was telling someone in la, it's like, oh, if I choose, if I chose not to get. Get up 10 spots in front of an audience member in A week at the very least. Then I chose that because it's so easy. Just go out and get spots. There's so many people and like, there's around. In downtown alone, there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms. It's insane. Do you see?

Was it Rappaport that got kicked off of a show at Cap City? They canceled his show.

They canceled Rapaport.

And let me see what the post was because they said something like, there's another big club that will have you, or something like that. Yeah. Insinuating that we would have him and that he's racist and we would have him.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They just assume. They assume the mothership is full of racist people.

They don't.

Yeah, people do.

But the guy that owns that is the guy that owns Helium.

Yeah, but no, not just that. I think that's pervasive around comedy, for sure.

It's Dheyr pretending. They think that. There's no way they think that. If you just look at the lineup, there's no.

Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're really. They're really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump. So this must be filled with racist people. That's what it is.

What did they say? Can you pull up the. It has to. I mean, I think they phrased it in an interesting way. So Austin for Palestine Coalition.

That's a Rapaport. Was pretty funny.

That's a Rapaport. He's done canceled. Thank you, Cap City Comedy and Helium Management for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rappaport show at your establishment. And so, hey, Michael.

Rapaport.

There's. Make sure.

Yeah, yeah, that's the. The caption is like, but there's another club insinuating that we would take.

Well, what is this? This is just Austin comedy. That's just someone's account.

It's just someone's account. Yeah, that's when I first moved here. That was when I. That's how I figured out where all the open mics and stuff.

But they're not even accusing us. Says, pretty sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you that aren't run by Helium. So. But there's a lot of places that. That's not necessarily. They're saying us. If you still want to make a stop in Austin, just let them know. Most of us here are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performers. So that seems like they're kind of saying like, hey, Michael, come Do another spot, do it somewhere else. I don't think they're accusing him of that. Right, right. That sounds more supportive of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel and silence performers performance. So that's not helium saying that.

I guess he's. Is he like. I mean, I guess he's outspokenly pro Israel for this to happen.

Yeah. I'm not paying attention that dude because I feel like a lot of it is needy. You know what I mean? There's a lot of like trying to get attention too hard.

Right.

It's like, yeah, he's like, I get. He's not a dumb guy. He's got some really good points. But the problem is if you try too hard and you're doing it all the time, then the good points miss me.

Right?

They miss me because you're already connected to all that other silly.

They're just lost in a seat like, yeah.

Which is good and bad depending on whether or not you want to be taken seriously. Right? I don't want to be taken seriously. So like if I do UFO shows or Big Foot shows, like good. Oh, he believes in dragons. Good, good. Don't take me seriously. Yeah, but when you're talking about something like Israel and Palestine, I guess because it said something Citizens for Palestine, like.

Yeah, it had to have been. They're not canceling the coalition. Not going out of their way.

I had no idea anybody was calling Michael Rapaport racist.

Oh, well, yeah, I don't I. The first Michael Rappaport news I've heard in years. If I'm be honest.

I had no idea that like there was an organized campaign to stop his shows.

There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening everywhere, Right?

Has to be. Okay. Since early November, our coalition sent several emails. That's all it took. It says they were ignored while employees had privately shared that they're uncomfortable. Oh, they privately shared that. With anti Palestinian hate monger Rapaport being hosted, management seems unwilling to listen to their community. That's not necessarily their community. That's just some people in the community. Rapaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with political views we disagree with. He's a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes. Additionally, as a reputation for being generally disliked by people he's worked with doxing his political opponents and has been accused of working with Fox News to Spread fake propaganda. Okay, this is like a lot.

Yes. Yeah.

Who wrote this?

Austin for Palestine Coalition. So maybe it's just in Austin. Oh, yeah, that's it. Austin for. Yeah. And then they got him out of Cap City.

Yeah. But so what does it go back up at the top of that thing? What is the original.

That's it.

No, no, no, no. The original thing that I read it said he's mocked is a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. Is that true?

I don't think you'd have to. We'd have to go through his. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's like when you say something like that.

Yeah. You just have to take that for face value that he does that. If you want to believe that.

I've never seen anything like that. I would imagine that if he did something like that, it would go viral. Viral, right.

Maybe not.

Mocking dead children.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, maybe not. Maybe. Probably this day and age. Yeah. If he's. He's famous enough, for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's straight up mocking.

If you're mocking dead show. Look, look at the people that mock Charlie Kirk. The hate came strong.

Oh, yeah, they, they, they all, they all like lost their jobs.

They felt the heat.

Yeah, immediately. Immediately.

Yeah, yeah.

We. It is, it is like the Internet makes people very comfortable with putting their initial emotional reaction out for everyone to see. See? And it's like Derek talks about, it's like we got to go back to the times when like people were like, oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup because like a job might see that you won't get the job.

Like that you think you're drinking.

Yeah, yeah. Now people are like just full on sketches of like people dying. And like, you see so many people die just constantly too. So it's like everyone's just desensitized to everything.

There's a lot of desensitization. There's a lot of people that also live in these echo chambers and they think when they say thing like, well, who was that one lady that was. She was a CEO somewhere. She had a very high level position somewhere and she posted on her Instagram story, I think something like that. She posted Rest in piss Charlie Kirk. Right. Like, like you're a regular person with a real job. You're talking about a guy who got murdered. You just wrote Rest in piss on the Internet because in their bubble they were saying that kind of stuff. They thought it was a cool thing to say. Yeah.

You're out. Your, your algorithm is so designed to just show you what things that agree with you.

Right.

So everyone gets more and more like, oh, everyone believes this. Everyone. Because everyone around or everyone I perceive to be around me believes that. When really it's just. It's like half of it's fake. Most of it is just some Pakistani guy.

Right?

Yeah. Somewhere with like a million AI where you can constant.

No, no, no. The new one where you can be any solution celebrity. And it looks exactly like that celebrity. So all your movements you could be like, you know, Mike from Stranger Things.

Damn.

And it's super accurate. Damn crazy.

We're getting to the point where like surveillance videos won't be admissible in court. Like it's gonna be. It's gonna be up to there.

It'll. Well, it all have to be on the blockchain. But even that, like, I don't understand the blockchain. Do you? Who knows if something manipulated. Yeah. See if you can find that video. Video of. Because there was one performer who did a series of different people from Stranger Things. He did like Elle from Stranger Things and Mike from Strange and it's fucking nuts. It's the same person just moving their hands around and talking and they look exactly like the other person.

Right. So now you're seeing heavily manipulated content. Like you. Unless you go out of your way to look for another opinion opinion, you're just going to become entrenched in your own opinion. That's sort of the problem with what's happening right now is like.

Or entrenched in the opinion that they want.

That they want. Yes. They want to promote you just sort of like, oh, you're just being fed this constant line of like bullshit. You got to do some like algorithm cleanses. That's what like. Like, you know, how did you go on juice cleanses? You got to do that with your algorithm. You gotta.

I think honestly what you got to do is stay offline.

Yeah.

You're gonna get got no matter what. Your. Your algorithm is eventually going to catch you again. It's like I'm gonna do a little heroin this time. And then next thing you know, you're a full on hero. Right.

Right.

For me, it's like there's so many videos of people getting killed by alligators and lions. They're fake and they just look a little off. Like the line jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like, no. Like something's wrong with this.

The way people react right now. The reactions of people in the background don't match.

Right.

That's what's. Because it used to be you could see the fingers and the fingers would be all fucked up. But they got the fingers pretty down now. They're getting better at that now. It's like you got to look in the. If the people in the background aren't reacting, you're like, okay, yeah, like, if I was. People in the background react to. Would react to a guy getting e eaten by a lion.

I guess they could probably fix that, though, with a prompt.

Well, the next generation.

Scatter. I don't even think it's the next generation. I think it's just. You got to just ask it, do a better version, keep correcting it, asking it to do better. Kind of this fix that.

Have you ever done that with a video where you asked it to keep fixing things? It gets overloaded and it just gets worse and worse and worse. If you ask it to fix the. It's not good at making an edit on the video. You already have. Oh, so you can be like. Let's say it'll just generate another thing. And because it's making a video about a video, everything gets fucked up.

Look at this.

Holy shit.

This is crazy. Dude.

That one looks kind of AI, but this is like a lot of AI too.

A little smooth in the face, you know, so it's probably better for. Do it again. Run it again from the beginning.

See? No, the first couple. The first couple ones might get you. It's one when one seems like obviously really fake.

You know what? The thing is too, I think it's really good with young people like him. It looks fake for some reason.

Yeah, When I got there. But then you realize they all look fake after you see one that looks.

Fake but not that fake fake. It's just if they did the lighting a little better, you know, it looks a little too bright, I want.

But yeah. See, I wonder if our perception. Because the first three look real. I wonder if our perception would change if they put the one of the guy that looks fake first. You feel what I'm saying?

Like, I don't know. Because this one looks real. Like, that looks like her. Like, if you just had that one and had her saying a bunch of things, I would think it's her saying a bunch of things.

That's. Well, that's fucking crazy.

We're fucked, man. Anybody who doesn't think we're fucked is in pain. Attention. It's going to get super weird.

Yeah.

And how much. How much of that are they going to use on us in the news, you know?

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a. Yeah, it's the news is all. The news is already fucked. But it's like I was thinking about this the other day how it's crazy that because our algorithms are so different. I think this is why everyone gets so charged over news things. Now is news is the only thing we have in common anymore. Like there's not really a show that like everyone's watching or like a set of shows that everyone's watching. Your algorithm sends you things that you like, so you're completely disconnected, entertainment wise to the people around you. And the only thing you really have in common is what's going on in the world.

Right.

Because that's the only thing that's consistent.

And your opinions on it. What side are you on?

Yes.

Because every. Everything becomes divided.

Yes. And you have to have a take on everything.

Yeah. Vaccines, food pyramid Gaza.

Yeah. Everything. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, we were cooked as a. Like companies have to do it. Yeah. I've been saying like we've been cooked as a country. I've known we've been cooked as a country ever since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza. It's like there's no reason for this. Yeah. There's no reason for this. Well, there's a company trying to sell stuff.

There's a lot of incentives for companies to like, whatever. What is that ESG score? Is that what it is? What is the score that they give? Like so, so companies have DEI scores that.

Yeah.

Like for favorable loans and for government money. Gets real weird when you start intertwining the it. It gets real communisty. ESG score evaluates a company's sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in environmental, social and governance areas such as carbon footprint, labor practices and board diversity. To help investors and stakeholders access long term risk and potential. Excuse me. Assess long term risk and potential calculated by specialized agencies like MSC and Sustainable Sustain analytics scores offering from 0 to 100 or letter grades gage how well a company manages risks in these non financial areas. Influencing reputation, access to capital. This is what's important. And long term financial performances. Yeah. So climate change impact, resource use, waste, pollution, energy efficiency, employee relationship diversity and inclusion labor standards. So you're essentially forcing the company to act a certain way. You can't do it completely as a meritocracy. You have to have a representative board of people which a lot of people agree with. None of those people are exceptional. None of the people are exceptional at their job that agree. You should have specific categories of race or gender. Replace meritocracy Right. No one really good. Male or female, black, white, Asian, whatever.

No one really good at their job wants that.

No, no. Because that just gets in the way of the job. It's like I have to like work worry about this social score. Yeah.

But fuck off.

That's kind of what we're like heading towards. Right.

Well, so less now with trumpador in office. There was a guy who was a CEO of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had occurred right after Trump took office. He was like, it was instantaneous, like all the restrictions, regulations and this is one of the problems with California in particular. It's incredibly over regulated. So it's really difficult to do anything. Which is one of the reasons why so few people have even begun attempting rebuild their fucking house. There's regulations everywhere for everything. It's just over regulated.

Well then the government buy a lot of that land or are they trying to buy that land right now in the Palisades?

I don't think it's government. I think there was people that were interested in doing like low income housing and then there was like whether they were going to carve out things without their speculators. And there's that famous video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house. Go. There's been some discussions. He's doing that little dance. Remember that?

Yeah.

What a sociopath. What a freaky dude.

He's running for president. There's no way he's not. Yeah, I mean he's absolutely running for president.

Good luck, dude. You think there's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota? Just wait till they start digging deep into the fraud in California. It's going to take an army of people to do. It's going to take a long time. Time. But look, man, there's so much money missing. They spent $24 billion on the homeless and they can't account for it and didn't. Is it true that Gavin Newslet's find out this. Because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the $24 billion to the homeless went.

Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job. They did a fantastic.

The crazy thing is they're literally incentivized to have more homeless because the more homeless people they have, the more money.

Yep.

Which is what? And then you see the salaries of the people that are working on it. Coleon Noir, my friend. This Second amendment advocate who's a lawyer. He was the first guy to tell me about that because he's a lawyer and he was in San Francisco and he was like, why is there so many homeless people here? It's like they need more money. Like is it. And his friend who is a lawyer goes, no. New. This whole thing is a racket. The more homeless people you have, the more you have to fund the homeless initiative. And then you have this entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless.

Right. And it's just money's going to executives.

Millions and millions in California, $24 billion. Okay. David Spade was talking about it. This really happened. He blocked bills for an audit multiple times. Bipartisan bill AB 2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the Assembly, 40 to in the Senate and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went. And Newsom vetoed it.

Is there no system in the state? Because it's like if the president vetoes in a. At a federal level, I'm pretty sure the. I think it goes back. If it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two thirds vote to pass it anyway.

I don't understand.

There is legislative ways to override a veto.

This veto.

Federally, I don't know.

Federally, I don't know about. State level. It says Gavin Newsom also vetoed similar bills. AB 272570 and AB 2 093. Wow, that is crazy.

That money's just gone.

20 billion plus dollars in missing homeless money went. That is really wild, man. That you would veto that, that it passes unanimously. And you're like, nah, player.

That's gangster, dude.

That's why you become a governor. It's probably a good move if you're really shitty mayor of a place like San Francisco and you ruin it. Better be the governor.

Tighten up and stop the investigation.

Stop all the loopholes.

You know, that's. I would call that good gameplay on Newsom's part. Yeah. Like look, I like looking at politics from an outside perspective. That's some good gameplay right there. It is if, if it's a game, that's what. Exactly what you should do. Great move.

Yeah, it's a great move.

Yeah. And now you're, and now you sort of can launch yourself as this anti Trump guy and you're like, oh, it's, it's, it's trying to get on this pod. The problem presidential run is coming.

He lies so much. He doesn't remember that he lied. Like he gets busted on like we've never Used the term Latinx because Latinos do not like that Latinx bullshit. No, you want to fucking alienate the Mexican American community, start calling them Latinx. They're like, bitch, what the fuck are you saying? Well, that's fundamentally gendered language.

Yes, Fundamentally against their language. That's the whole point. There are female and male things. Their language.

It's a gendered language.

Yeah, yeah. So everything crazy.

That's crazy. Stop. The really crazy thing is, you know, we were. We were talking last night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his name?

I forgot his name.

I'm sorry, sir. Fun, fun guy. Interesting guy. But we got to talking about the, the. The different people that lived in America. America before Columbus got here and before Cortez got here. Before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish speaking Catholic country.

Right.

Which is really nuts, man. You know, you want to talk about colonizing like those people in Mexico. Oh, we respect their religion, their culture. That's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago.

Right.

They lost 100 different native languages. Man, they had so many languages in what is now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820. Like whatever it was, whatever they called it in the different areas. They had like over a hundred different languages. Are just lost in the wind because the conquistadors came through.

Yeah. And. And out outnumbered. They were able to do that.

Bro. This crazy number.

Crazy, bro.

They had 13 muskets. That's all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets. They burned the boats and took. Took over Mexico.

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

And then to this day.

But here's the gift of gab too. He's able to convince Montezuma that they were God.

Well, they showed up with metal.

Yeah, Right.

They're wearing armor and they're riding horses. And like, this is crazy. These guys are riding horses.

And there's like a famous. I was a La Malinche was like a. Was like a female Native American or native to the area who was like, helped him take them down.

Oh, there's quite a few people that helped him. Well, they were very clever what they did. Because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs texts were absolutely brutal. One of the Spanish chroniclers, some, I forget his name, something Diaz. But one of these Spanish chroniclers, before the arrival of Cortez, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples, I think it was Tenochtitlan. And they killed. Killed somewhere between 20,000 as the low end and 80,000 as the high end. 20,000 to 80,000 people sacrificed in a four day ceremony.

That's pretty gangster.

So these are the people that were there. So those are not loved people.

Right, right.

So it was really easy for them to get the other tribes and go, hey guys, we got horses, we got 13 muskets.

Whether you're your help, we can take them down.

We could speak Spanish.

Yeah, carnitas, that's so, I mean, is.

A Mexican word, but it's a Spanish word. Yeah, it's like this, the language, like they had names like North American, Native American names.

Right.

Like one guy was a cacao lightning God. That was his name. Like I, I did a whole bunch of research on these people because I would just got fascinated because one of the things about the Aztecs is a lot of these like super complex temples. They didn't build them, they found them.

Oh yeah, we talk about that.

Like they called it the place where the gods were born.

Yeah, these, these sort of like civilizations that like clearly probably existed. This is something that I think about is like, okay, so do you know the story of the Achaemenid Persian Empire, like succession?

I don't know it in detail, but I'm aware of a lot of it.

Right, so you have Cyrus, he has two kids, Cambyses and Bardia. He splits up the realm between the two Cambyses, goes off to conquer Egypt. But he's like, well, Bardi is popular, so let me secretly kill him and then go off to Egypt. A magi priest then impersonates Bar, Bardia takes over the Achaemeno Persian Empire, is the ruler. Now Cambyses sort of dies on the way back mysteriously. And then Achaemenid nobleman named Darius is like, hey, this is a magi imposter. Kills Bardia. He's now ruling Darius, leads the Achaemo Persian Empire to be as big as it can be. And he's the father of Xerxes, the bag of guy in 300. So that's. But, but that is the only official narrative story we have that's from a first, like a primary source. And the only reason we have that is because Darius carved that story in himself into a rock relief. It's called the Histune Relief. So that story is basically propaganda. But then 50 years later gets picked up by Herodotus and that becomes the story of the Ascension. Right. There's no other primary source on what happened there. You just had to take Darius's word for it.

Wow.

Yeah. And that's in the fifth century. And the only reason we know that is because someone carved it into a rock, bro. Right. Like, we're not carving anything in the rocks now. So if. Yeah, so if something. Let's say, like, something happens to the Internet tomorrow and it disappears, and then our civilization just vanishes off the Earth. Couple people survive, and they build a whole new civilization.

There's all those lines. Is that writing or is that a erosion?

I believe that's writing. I haven't really go back to that primary.

The original. Original. Okay.

It looks like cuneiform, and it's the way it's. Yeah, but that's the only reason we know something that happened from that time.

Is because this exists and we have no idea if it's true.

Yeah, we have no idea if it's true, but no one's even carving anything into stone for us.

Right?

So.

Yeah, look at it.

Yeah, there's no way.

Way. How dope is that line? Look how cool that looks. Look how cool that looks. That's how people used to write things down, man.

Right.

Can AI like, find. There's got to be some of these, like. I know there's one from Easter island that they can't decipher. Oh, you seen that one?

No.

Graham Hancock explained it, and what he said was essentially, they. The island, it was a very small island. They got raided by slavery believers and they took everyone except for, like, a hundred people. And the people that they took and enslaved, they were the ones who knew how to read this language. And then this language was lost forever.

Right.

There's one piece of, like, wood where. Yeah, that's it. Where it's written on. Look how dope their language looks like. Zoom in on, like, how crazy is that, man? Just like, what are they saying? And we don't know. Like, I wonder if they could throw that through a. AI and get sort of an understanding of what these symbols. But you'd have to have a base. Like, that was the thing about the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek. And this is. Okay, now we know what. What it's. It's said in multiple languages. Now we get an understanding of it.

Yeah, but so the. The overall point being, though, is, like, in our time, if the Internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded. It'll just be lost.

Oh, yeah. All the hard drive stuff gone.

Yeah, Just be lost.

We'll have to relearn Things.

Yeah, but our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed.

It says about the. It's called the wrong Rongorongo. Rongorongo. A glyph based script from Easter island remains undeciphered despite over a century of study. Imagine you're studying it for a century. You can't. Language.

People's whole lives have been decided dedicated to this.

No one knows exactly what it says, as all attempts to translate it fully have failed. And with scholars debating if it's true writing or proto writing, as used as a memory aid. A memory aid?

Yeah. Lines alternate direction, often upside down. Oh, so that's so hard, even the direction is ever changing. You're not writing right to left, you're just kind of going wherever you want with it.

What is the latest on the Voynich manuscripts? Has anybody thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes any. Any sense? Do you know about that? Yeah.

Was it. Were they found on a guy? Was that one of them?

No, it's some weird book and the, the question is whether or not this book is just complete gibberish and nonsense or whether it's some lost language and where it's. It's really detailed too.

What was it found?

It's a good question. I don't remember. Published Knobby cipher. Is that what it's called? Published November 26, 2025. In Crypt Cryptologia by science journalists, Michael Greshko introduced the Nabi cipher, which uses 14th century Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin or Italian text into glyphs. Mimicking the Voyage manuscripts Voynicheese. This cipher replicates key statistical features like glyph frequencies, word length, grammar rules, suggesting a similar medieval method could have generated the original 15th century text. Although it does not decode it. Wow. Have you seen it? See, you find images of it, it's freaky.

Where was it found?

That's a really good question. Let's find that out.

Voynich Ninja. There's like groups dedicated to this.

People are obsessed with it. I mean they've been.

This is a fun thing to be obsessed with.

Just do me a favor and just go back, back to Perplexity and say, how was it discovered?

Yeah, I'm curious.

Because I feel like someone had it and someone bought it from someone.

I could have been wrong. I thought it was found on a body. I could be wrong about that. I might be thinking of another thing.

It was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish American rare books dealer Wilfrid Voynich. Okay. He named it himself. What a clever guy.

I like that. Fuck it. Something. Something of my smile. They say you died. The second time you die is when someone says you're name last. So we're just keeping him alive.

He acquired it from the Jesuit college in France, Fras Frascati, Italy, as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the Jesuits financial difficulties. How many of these in the Vatican are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell? Oh yeah, that would like, change.

Change the world completely. Yeah.

Carbon dating places its creation around 1404-1410, 1838, likely in northern Italy. Emperor Rudolph 2 bought it in the late 1500s for 600 gold ducats, possibly from John D. It later passed to Jacobus. How about this guy's name? Jacobus? Horsiki dependence.

European stuff that's feels.

You can't even. The problem is there's some names like Joanna, Yunjie. Check if you see. Saw the way it's written, there's no way you would pronounce it any of.

Those Eastern European names. It's like, it's like, how did you even get that?

Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. He publicized the undeciphered codex now at Yale's Beinecke Beinecke Library, sparking global interest despite failed decoding attempts. Pull up some images of it so you can get. See what it looks like. It's real weird, man. It's real weird. And has detailed illustrations of like plants and stuff. Here we go. Listen. Here's a little video so you could see like, how cool it looks when they're opening up the book. Anything that you're getting, that's a book that's from the 1400s. Where? 1200. When is it from? 1500s. So 1400s. Any book that you're getting from the 1400s is wild as it is. Just imagine these people living back then writing this down with a feather.

Just touching it with her bare hands.

Huh? Yeah, you have to. It's actually worse to do it with gloves.

Really?

Yeah. They found out that gloves, the, the. The rubber is more abrasive than your finger. The oils of your finger is actually more protective or something along those lines. Wow, look how cool that looks though. And they don't know if that's a real language. That's what's nuts. You can't decode it.

This is, this is a good. This is a good YouTube rabbit hole.

It's a good one.

Yeah.

It's an interesting one because people say It's a hoax. But the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's like really well done and very complex and incredible amount of time.

The fact that it's still tripping up people now it's like it's an all time great hoax then, sort of.

But think about how many languages we've lost. Like we just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now considered Mexico. Now, you know, think about the rest of the world. Like here's another instance, mobs of indigenous people in Australia, the Aborigines, right? So they call themselves mobs and that, you know, instead of a tribe and they have mobs that will live 6, 10 kilometers away that speak a completely different language and they're all over the place and they don't have these things written anywhere. So there's a bunch of their languages that are just spoken orally and just disappear and they will disappear. And we don't know how many languages there are. Like my friend Adam Greentree who he used to own a mining company in Australia and he employed a lot of Aborigines and he knows a lot about the culture and he was like, dude, it's the craziest history because a lot of it is not written down and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it. There's a cave that you can go to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poison food on purpose.

Like a whole crew of them. And so there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day. He goes, dude, it's the darkest thing you've ever seen in your life. You think about this family and their children, they're starving and these people, these you know, white people in Australia were essentially prisoners that England's shipped over there, right? Just gave them poison and just.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn, damn. That's. Yeah.

Damn. And they get. Bro, they got some crazy rock art. You ever see the, the, the, the glyphs of like alien looking dudes and.

Oh yeah.

And like.

Yeah, there's like people with like rocket. That look like they're in rocket ships and spaces. Yeah.

What information, what stories? What is their version of the Bible that we missed? Well, it's because they never wrote it down.

Yeah, there's something to do with a large flood that seems to be consistent.

The Hopi had that.

Yeah. Something to do with the large flood and something to do with some sort of either dragon or serpent type bad guy though. Those are, those are the two Main consistent things across most cultures. Some large flood event and some snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all. And I wonder what the snake in the Bible really looked like. Because in, in the Adam and Eve story, anytime you see a picture pointed, painted of it, it's painted as a snake. But his. The snake's punishment was it lost its limbs. So this was a dragon. Right, because the snake, them. The snake's punishment was it has to sleep on the ground.

But is that the snake's punishment for forever? Is that like why God did that to the snakes, period?

I think so. I think that's the whole. That.

Right. Doesn't that just explain what a snake looks like rather than describe a dragon? Like, why doesn't it have limbs? God took away its limbs.

I see what you're saying. Maybe it's reversed.

It seems like it's reversed.

Yeah. Maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon.

Yeah. It seems like, how come they don't get to have legs?

Yeah, yeah.

How come you don't get to have wings, bitch? You know, because if you really think about it, like, there are so many different stories. This is why, like, you know the view. Like, that's that famous Joy Behar clip. He believes in dragon.

Great clip.

It's awesome. It comes out of a conversation that I had with Forrest Gallant, who's a wildlife biologist, who's like, there's a lot of depictions of these flying serpents and large serpents with wings all over the world. It's weird, right? It is really weird.

Yeah. It's like, it's like a thing.

Really weird. And we know some dinosaurs, dinosaurs flew.

So there might have been some. Do you think there's some sort of cross?

Well, here's the thing. The Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large dinosaur like creature forever. To the point where explorers have made their way into the Congo to try to find this thing. Okay, that resembles. I think it resembles a brontosaurus that could fly. No, no, no. That was in the jungle. Like, so the question question is, is it possible that a creature could live for an extended period of time and then, you know, Maybe in the 1100s or a thousand years ago or whatever, 2000 years ago, they slaughtered them all and killed them off. Like, maybe it, maybe they have a long gestation period like an elephant, you know, maybe, maybe it's possible they realize these things were a threat. They knew where they'd end up. There was a small population anywhere and they killed them off.

Right.

Maybe, maybe it's not likely there's no bones, there's no nothing, but there's no bones of most things. That's the thing. Most things that die do not leave a fossil.

Yeah.

And then they find things that they thought were extinct. Not just extinct, but extinct for millions and millions of years. One of them is the coelacanth. You know about the coelacanth?

No.

So the coelacanth is this crazy looking dinosaur fish. Fish that is unchanged from, God, I want to say tens of millions of years. I don't know how old, but when you look at it, you're like, yo, look at that thing. And then they caught one once they caught it, like, I, I don't know, it was a fishing net or a fishing boat, but they caught one. And then they realized like, oh my God, these things are still alive. Like we thought this was a part of the fossil record. Damn. And then they, they realized that there's parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored. And these things have. And then they've caught a bunch of them since. And then other fishermen have caught them. But it's a very deep, deep sea creature that is really ancient.

And they found, they.

How old is the coelacanth? Like how long has it been around for?

Man, that's so.

I hope I'm saying the word right.

That's so wild to not find one for years. And then all of a sudden you just find a bunch.

Well, they found a few. Well then now that they know they exist, they're looking.

They kind of know what to look for.

And then they're fishing in that area and they, they caught him. But can you show me an image of the coelacanth?

Oh, I think there's a, there's a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like called like, I think it's called ar. Like it's a, it just goes and looks through what the earth look like in every, like in different eras.

So that's that freaky fish.

Oh yeah, I've seen this.

It's armored, it's got like these crazy scales on it. It just, it looks like a throwback. So three hold up, go up relatives being the first left seas. 385. Okay, so they're not our direct ancestors, but they're still relatives of beings that first left the seas. They left the sea 385 million years ago and became four legged terrestrial animals.

Damn. And this is like, this is like a common link.

So what's left? There's creatures that left. So something like like that left the sea 385 million years ago and became four legged terrestrial animals from which we sprung. And these relatives are still alive today. So how long has the coelacanth been around?

188Lbs.

38. Floating off the south African coast in the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the urban caught an unknown creature. Weighed 188 lb. Pounds 5ft in length, dark blue in color. In color. And unabashedly chomped its jaws. This was not a fish. Not just any fish that scales, fins and limbs. Or more precisely, rudiments thereof. Moreover, there were seven of them. Two in the back, three on the belly and another pair on the head. They had limbs on their head. Whoa. Should we know? The local population occasionally caught these creatures. Didn't even come up with a name for them. Gombesa, which can be translated as bitter fish.

Just eat it first, find out later.

The residents knew that it was nearly inevitable. Inedible. It was consumed due to the belief that its meat helped to cope with malaria symptoms. Yo. Although it was possible to make something like sandpaper from their extremely strong and bristly scales. So when did they think? When? Look at what it looked like. That's crazy.

That's. That's wild though.

That looks scary. It looks like a monster with all those weird appendages. Right. Eventually made its way onto land. Yeah. Nuts, man.

That's.

How long ago is that? Like how long did they think that thing had been extinct for?

You'd have to look that up.

Yeah. Just put up. Put into perplexity the history of the seal canth. Okay, here we go. How old is this?

420 million years.

Wow.

Rediscovered. Damn, bro. That's. That's wild.

Wow. They thought it extinct for 66 million.

Years and it was just living.

Whoa, dude.

To live that long, that's pretty. That's pretty crazy.

That's incredible. Incredible.

Yeah, that's.

That's incredible. So this thing that was alive 400 million years ago is still alive today. They thought it was extinct for 68 million years. Is it possible that there's something else like that that's on land? Like less likely? I think. I think ocean is more likely.

Well, it's more undiscovered. Right.

So not just that. It's also like more protective of environmental change. Change. Right. So.

Right.

It's probably less dependent on all that. Like, especially if you're a sea predator, you're probably less dependent on, you know, all the plants growing and nuclear winter that's happening on the fucking surface.

Right.

Everything dies. Off and the ice age comes and fucking meteor dust everywhere. You can pelt it.

You can survive a lot of stuff like climate change. You're not worried about that really.

Probably you are, but it's probably something more things would probably survive in the ocean, I would imagine.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

Like how. How old are alligators and crocodiles?

Aren't they like. Aren't like. Isn't like. Aren't like sharks older than trees or something?

Older than trees?

Yeah.

Older than trees.

Such a mind to think about.

Yeah.

Yeah. There's something could be older than trees.

Yeah. And they still are essentially in the.

Same form, just swimming, eating machines, apex predators forever.

You hear about that lady off Santa Cruz that got. Got the other day?

No, but I. Have you read that book about the. The. I read that book about the shark attacks in 1916.

Oh, yeah. In New Jersey.

Yeah. Short. Where it's like, oh, damn river. Yeah, it went. It went in a freshwater river.

Yeah.

But they also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that time. Like, that was in that time. They were like. There were people like, oh, sharks, they're just like sea puppies. They'll leave you alone. That was a thought. Part of the reason why that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks are like dangerous creatures, especially bull sharks.

Because bull sharks are the ones that can swim all the way up to like, they. They made their way to Ill. Illinois.

Oh, yeah. And they're just as. They're more aggressive than great whites, right?

Oh, yeah. They're hyper aggressive, but they make their way all the way up freshwater rivers, all the way up into like, cold environments. Fucking Illinois had bull sharks. Yeah. Fresh water.

Just a freshwater shark is just. How bad luck do you. How much of a bad luck do you have to be in a river and get attacked by a shark? It was your time to go.

You got your legs dangling out of an inner tube.

Yeah.

Just all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and you see red in the water and you realize your legs gone.

Yeah. It takes you a second to realize your leg is gone too, because it's so sharp and so. Yeah.

Slices through and you don't expect it.

Jeez. Yeah, well, we were not expecting a shark in the lake.

And you look down, you see the white of your kneecap. Everything underneath it is just torn tissue and.

Yeah. Yeah. They didn't think it was dangerous at the time. Like that.

Crazy.

That's so wild. It's so. All the way up until 1960, in fact, some people thought sharks were just Something that sailors were made up.

Whoa.

Yeah. Just like, oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you. They don't know what they're talking. Or like, this is just a sea myth.

Well, it's also, when you think about it, when people came to America, because there's no sharks in England, there's no sharks in Ireland. Right. They don't have a problem over there. So when they came to America, there was only like. We're talking about this shark attack was in the early 1900s, right?

Yes, 1916.

So think about that. There's only like a couple hundred years of people even being here here.

Right. And that year was like a perfect storm of like, the beach became like an acceptable thing to go lounge at. Before that, it wasn't a thing.

Tried to twist it to say that it was trying to attack the dog, not the person in the way. No hate dogs.

What there are, it does lay out certain things. Like if you are swimming with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked by a shark. Interesting. And it's like something like a full moon. Like the moon really regulates sharks. Shark's emotions. So, like, more shark attacks happen on full moons. There's certain things. Yeah. Apparently having the dog, they never attack the dog, but the dog attracts the something about how they swim.

Attack dogs don't get killed by sharks.

Not. They will attack the person.

Really? Wow.

It's something. The book lays it out. There is something. There is like a. Like a coordinate. Like if there are a bunch of different factors that sort of apply to that.

Whoa. I don't think there's anything alive right now that is, you know, dinosaur like. But I wonder how long they stuck around for. How long some of them stayed just the last. If crocodiles and alligators didn't exist. Like, let's just imagine crocodiles didn't exist. The big ones, the Nile crocodiles, let's imagine, okay. No one thought there was a crocodile. It's nonsense. And then one day someone got a video. Video of one in the Congo. You'd be like, no, dinosaurs are real.

Right?

That's a dinosaur. That is a straight up dinosaur.

Yeah. It's a giant lizard. That is.

Yeah.

That is technically what's left.

This dude, Josh Bomar, he's a bow hunter and he just killed a world record crocodile. And I think it was in Tanzania. I think actually, I think he might have did it like two years ago. This thing is so big, it's. I think it's like 17ft long. And it's probably over a Hundred years old. He killed it with a bow. Look at the size of that thing. God. Now imagine if that thing didn't exist, if no one thought that that thing existed.

And then you saw that.

And then you saw that.

You'd be like, yeah, that's what. Yeah, you'd be like, that's a monster that I saw.

Like, look at the size of that thing, man. Like, if nobody went to Tanzania ever, if it was just a place that no one went to, and then people went there and they saw that, they're like, oh, my God. Dinosaurs are still alive.

Right?

Because that's a dinosaur.

Yeah, that's period, full stop. You would. Yeah, you'd be absolutely afraid.

You can call it a crocodile, whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs that made it. It's still here. Like, when did crocodiles first evolve? 83 to 95 million years ago. Lake Cretaceous.

Younger than the coelacanth.

Yeah. Close to 250 million years ago.

Still younger than the coelacanth by 100 million years.

Well, it's probably the ancestor that came to shore and started eating shit.

Right.

If everything came out of the ocean, allegedly.

Oh, okay. There is something. So there's something that I do. It's like a gratefulness thing that I do every year because it's like, this is like a big moment for me in my career. I just released the special. I'm. I'm walking away from the. I'm like, not working social media at the club anymore. I'm, like making steps out. So this is a YouTube video that I watch every. Every time something like, sort of big happens to me or like I'm a crossroads. And it's. And it's. Have you ever seen. It's Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech? Have you seen this?

No.

Okay, can we pull that up, Jamie? And it's like a three minute video. But, like, genuinely, because I'm. Because I'm going to do it, too. I want you to do what he says.

Okay.

Yeah. It's just a quick little thing. Okay. Yeah. And I'm all right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves, for being their friend, for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth. It is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of behalf of the millions of children whose mornings you have brightened with your kindness, to present you with this lifetime achievement award. Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood. So many people have helped me to come to this night. Some of you are Here, some are far away. Some are even in heaven. All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take along with me 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are, Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. 10 seconds of silence.

I'll watch the time.

Whomever you've been thinking about how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made. You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world. Special thanks to my family and friends and to my co workers in public broadcasting, family communications and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years.

To be your neighbor.

May God be with you. Thank you very much. He seemed like the real deal. Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm glad nothing ever came out about him.

Yeah. For real, right? He wasn't like a Jimmy Savile.

I just, I'm happy he was the real deal. He really does seem like he is.

Who'd you think about?

Oh, do I want to say it publicly?

Oh, yeah, if you don't have to.

You know, family.

Yeah.

Personal people, you know, but I, you know, we, you and I in particular are very fortunate. We have a lot of people that help us be who we are.

Yes.

You know, and that is like the one thing that I think we really highlight at the club is that we really are all happy, we really are all lucky and we, we really enjoy our time together and feed off of each other.

I'm so happy to like the, the way this, I would say the scene is like incredibly, incredibly supportive of each other in a way that like, it's nice, I guess, in this sort of new system that we live in too where like you can just make it on your own. Like you don't need like I'm not auditioning for a spot that like Fuzzy's auditioning for. Cuz we're both brown.

Right. You know, like in the old days.

Yeah, there's no, there's no reason, there's no reason for me to be like, damn, I hope he doesn't get this right. You know, there's like, it's a system of like, oh, dude, we can all just create and then help each other.

Yes.

Like piggyback off each other and like that's, it's like such a refreshing experience to have.

It really is. The rising tide lifts all boats and that's how it should be.

And it happens everywhere too because like, you know, obviously you're at the mothership and you See how hard the door guys, they're crushed. But like, I go to Sunset and Sunset. Sunset has some fucking killers as door guys now, especially because, like, they came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously, the ceilings are high and like, the. The room can be cavernous, can feel cavernous when it's like, tight. And so they come up in a harsher, like, mothership. The rooms are set up for comedy. Sunset. It never happened that way. The guy, the guy died before he could make it what he wanted to make it. And Redman came in and just sort of saved it. So he. And open at the very least. So it's like they come up in these harsh situations. And like, there's this one. There's this one kid at Sunset, his name is. Well, kid is very fun to say. He's the grown man. But Mumford Davis, he closes every single desk squad, which is like 18 hours long. So he closes every single one. Goes up in front of a tired beat audience. And now he's just an absolute, absolute monster.

Running with ankle weights.

Yeah, I mean, he's running with the biggest ankle weights on to go at the end of that, in that room. They're tired. They've been there forever.

But you think about it like, that's how Kinison came up. Kinnison was the they. That was the Kinison spot, was the last spot at the or, you know, and.

Right.

Think about his style. That screaming, yelling in your face. That's designed to shock an audience back to life.

Right.

Just trying to keep Brody, that's Don Barris, that's Brian Hogan, Holtzman. Like those guys that develop that act, they could just jolt you out of your complacency. It's kind of by necessity.

Right. How to just like, keep keeping someone's attention.

Yes.

Like, bringing it back is just so. It's so impressive. That's what I miss about the comedy stores. I. I left before I got passed. So I never got those, like, late night or spots. Those one in the morning, six people just survived. I mean, some of my best sets, favorite sets I've seen people have are in those spots. Damn, you really made this work.

Well, sometimes, like, reality shines through. Like they have a real moment on stage where the comedy is just like people like, oh, shit. Like, I remember Laura Bites had a set one time and I even posted it. Me and Bert Kreischer sat in the back of the room and she crushed so hard in front of. There was only like 25 people in the room. And by the time she Was off stage, there was 50 people in the room because people were coming in from other places to come and watch her.

Yeah. When you hear that noise, you're like, okay, what's going on?

Exactly. She was just on fire. She was killing.

Yeah. It's like those spots are nice because it's like, you know your jokes at a certain. You have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where like my jokes are funny enough to showcase and work at the club. And now that I'm at this level, I got the jokes. Now can I be funny?

Right.

You know, beyond like what my written. Can I be just funny? Me as a person? That's. You can kind of really hone that in those sort of levels. Late night, tough rooms.

Yeah, you got to do those.

Yeah, yeah. And that's why, you know, the store at the end of the day, even through hard and like good times and tough times at the store, that's the reason why they always create monsters. Yeah, the store creates monsters.

And Mitzi knew what she was doing. You know, she had a method to her madness and she tweaked it and got it to the perfect form, essentially. Use a similar form here.

Yeah, it's kind of like the method to make comedy happen. It's like just put people in like these tough spots over and over again. Can you follow monsters?

Right?

Can you follow monsters? That's the best part about being at the ship is like, I've had to follow like Theo and Shane and be like, damn, I just gotta do this.

Yeah.

And then you. And then, and then you have to follow like the emerging stars too, because then they have a whole separate energy to them. Like. Like I remember following both cam and James McCann after they both started like popping and being like, whoa. Just watching the energy around them shift.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We lost McCann Australia.

I know.

He'll be back. Gotta be back.

He'll be back.

I can't believe he had to go back.

So funny though.

He's the best.

He's so.

He's one of my favorite guys out there because he's got such a unique, like, it's his perspective. It's like you don't expect it. It's coming out of him. If you think the way he does, you get it.

Yeah.

But if you don't, it's really smart, really funny.

High energy too. Yeah. It's because usually this hyper intelligent go low energy. It's very rare that a hyper intelligent person like, who's intelligent on stage on purpose like that, like he is, goes High energy.

Right?

That's. That's what makes him unique to me too, is because when they're. When. Usually when comics are being smart on stage and I'll do this too, they go soft. They go, look at me. Think. Yeah, McCann's like, I have the energy of I'm in a bar yelling at you. But it's about Kyrgyzstan, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're lucky, dude.

Yeah, The. The. The scene is thriving.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's so many places to go. That's why I did mine at Black Rabbit. Just a small, little black box room that's been like. I've had sets there, and it's like 10 people, and they're amazing.

Wow.

Yeah, they're just. They're just there for comedy. A lot of them are like, they tend to be like these sort of just out of college kids who can't really afford to go to, like, any of the clubs. They just. They just have money for the first time. We're like, oh, we can go to this little spot, like $10 tickets, just get introduced to comedy. It's a bit of a younger audience there.

Well, there's just. How many spots are just on our street?

On our street? I mean, like, there's within our street.

Like within. Close. Like that. You can walk Cap City, because it's like one over. Not Cap City, I'm sorry, Vulcan. No.

And Sunset Creek Creek in the Caves. Creek.

Creek in the Caves. One over.

In that area you have Vulcan, Sunset Creek, Velveeta, and then Bulls. These are bars that run. At least run comedy at least three to four times a week is Bulls. Oh, fuck, I'm forgetting. I'm forgetting one of the. The places it's. I'm blanking on it now, so. But Bulls, Black Rabbit, if you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin, they're a little bit down the road, but they're still kind of in the downtown area. So it's nine right there. Nar Bar. That's the one I was thinking about. That's 10. Shakespeare's runs it a bunch, and Maggie Mays runs it, I think, three times a week. So it's at least 12 pretty much dedicated comedy rooms. And that's not including mics.

That's crazy.

That's not including Mike's. Just in the area.

When you say Mike's for people who don't know, you mean open mics.

Yeah, just open mics.

You're talking about booked clubs of professional comedians.

Ye are shows with people and, like, there's some of them are rough bar shows, but they are shows and they're booked. Yeah. And there's a. It's. You can get on. You can. There's so many ways to come up. Oh, you can walk. You can walk. I've. I've had nights where I've had five sets and none of them are at the Mothership.

Wow.

I'm just. You're just out and about. Yeah, it is. It is. So. And it's just different people getting up in different places. It's each. Each of the. Each different place has their own ecosystem of. Of kind comics who. You know, because you go. You go where it gives you what gives you time. That's where you always. That's the right way to go, no matter what.

Yeah.

Just whatever is feeding you go. That's where you go. So there's different ecosystems in each places and it's really. It's really fun and you just get to see people like, man, just figure it out and it's. And it's fun to watch and they'll figure it out on the podcast and they'll figure it out on the comedy end and it'll all sort of works together.

It's gotta be extra dope for you too, because you were an artist. Early settler, man.

I got. I feel like I got to the gold rush in 48, I feel like.

Because.

Because when I got here, there was only three. It was me, Hans, Kim and Derek and Dylan. Dylan was eight years in, but those are the only four of us that were like, not famous headliners, that weren't new comics, basically.

Right.

So we got to just do so many shows, cuz. Because there was no middle class. It was all. It was. It was like California. It was all upper class and all like, lower class. It was very. That now. Now it's robust. Now there's just a bunch of killers that are like, just moving here all the time. There's this guy, Nick Murphy, moved from Atlanta.

What year did you move here?

2021. I moved here early. I got on a Zoom. I got on a. With Dylan Sullivan.

We were.

I used to play this. I used to play. We used to play game nights in the Pandemic Online with our friends because we weren't allowed out. Right. And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord and was like, you got to move here. And he made the pitch and then I was like. I was pretty much there. And then Derek moved here and he was like, you gotta.

And this was just when we're doing shows of the Vulcan.

This is just shows of the Vulcan. This was just. But it was indoor shows, man. And so I moved here and then I was like. Cuz the way I looked at it was like, look, either I gonna like LA is gonna reopen and I'll be working at the Comedy Store again and I'll. We'll have at least gotten up in that time and gotten paid to go up because they paid, they paid for every spot here, right? If you're booked. So it's like at least got paid. And so I was like, and then I'll go back to la.

A little glitch. But so. So when you came here it was just like, look, I'll get some spots, I'll get paid and if the comic store reopens, I'll go back.

Yeah, I'll go back and. Or the club was still two weeks, two years away from opening, but it's like, I'll stick it out to the club and see what happens.

We were just starting to talk about.

Club back then, right? Yeah, you had put it on the universe. And that was enough for me to be like, I think he's gonna get that done. And so I took a chance and it ended up working. And then I ended up being one of the first people like passed through there, which ended a huge, huge blessing because now there's so many killers that it's like hard to get in the mothership. Yeah, there's so many like people who've moved. It's like it's. I almost tell people like it's a major city in that way. In the sense of like, if you can get good where you are first and then move to Austin, that might be better now than a blind move to Austin, right?

As an opener. Yeah. As a beginner.

As a beginner.

It's hard. As a beginner. Yeah, it's like LA was for a while.

Oh la. LA is super tough. I imagine New York is super tough as well.

The store was really tough. If you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots, like bro, you got to do spots somewh else, right? You really should be better. You're better off coming there with potential. Like you've already gotten a few years.

Under your belt then like trying to figure it out. Because the LA mics are especially brutal.

The thing is, man, if you guys didn't come, it wouldn't have worked. Like that was the thing. It's like the people that really are responsible for the movement, the, the crazy new scene here are the ones who came before the Club was open. Brian Simpson, Tom Segura. Segura was here early, man.

Right.

I told him about it. He's like, I'm moving. And then bang, bam. I was like, whoa. And when Tom moved, I was like, that's a big deal, you know, because Tom was already doing arenas. Yeah.

It required a certain amount of people to buy in.

Yeah.

And. And that I. You know, I'm very. Because of that. I'm very Pro Austin of. Because, like, man, if you buy in, look what can happen. Like, yeah, there's.

You shouldn't. No one should not be Pro Austin. It's funny because Lewis and Tony were going back and forth and arguing like Louis shits on the Austin scene.

Right.

This New York vs Austin thing is the stupidest thing. It's like, they both be awesome. Who cares?

Yeah. It's unnecessary. It's unnecessary. Like in Fight, it's like catty girl fighting. It's like, why we both clearly can exist in a space where we can also help each other. The New York guys are always here, and I feel like we're always there.

But the point is. What? Tony and Lewis were going back and forth, and Lewis said, well, LA isn't even into consideration anymore as what's the best place for comedy in the country. And Tony goes, agreed. And why do you think that is? What do you think happened? Where'd those people go? And Lewis is like, oh, shit.

But, you know, I will say this because I was just in la. I like. I like where the LA scene's at. It's rebuilding stronger.

Of course it is.

Yeah. It's the store.

It's LA store. This Hollywood. It goes. It goes through dips. It's done it before. When I got there, was it a low? When I came in, 94. The OR was half empty. Main rooms never full. It was. Oh, and then there was no big talent there. It's always like that. It comes, comes, it goes. New people come up. It's legendary. It's got a vibe to it. It creates comedy just by existing.

Yeah. It's like. It's still. Every time, they're like, man, this is the place.

It's the place, man. That's been the place since 1970. Something. I mean, it's. That place is crazy.

Yeah. You could do this. What? The building is alive in that place. 100 crazy. Yeah. You feel it.

It's, like, soaked with the memories of Kinison and Hicks and Prior.

And here's what's crazy. You know the bucket seats in the back.

Yeah.

If you go during the day, they might have repainted the wall. So this is when I worked there. But when you go during the day. Cause I'd get there early and like, write or whatever. And you can look where the bucket seats are. The outline of all the heads because of all the oil of the people leaning back was just there. So you were just there. And it's just the energy of all these great comics just in the room with you. Yeah. It was an interesting place to like, be during the day because you could.

Sort of feel it. Very special place. Very special place you never get to take away from. But the thing is, it's like it should be, and it will be even better than it used to be, I'm sure. But the point is, it's like denying that Austin is an amazing scene is just stupid. Yes, it's just stupid. And also, don't you want another great scene? Do you want a limited amount of options for comedians? Don't you want more comics and more comedy?

Right. And more places for you to end up performing?

Shut up.

Like now? Yeah, now. You can go to Austin and spend a couple weeks there and get a lot Of. Of time and learn how to talk to people here.

There's so many in this world. So many. And those never get anything done. They just sit and this and this. Yeah, Nothing ever gets done.

Yeah, yeah.

They never progress.

Yeah, man. Just video essays. I laugh, watch. I watch all the video essays. It's just so funny to me because they all start. They all else.

The. The.

The whole concept that Austin is ruined comedy is very funny to me because there's so many comics that are blowing up outside everywhere, all the time.

It's just silly.

It's.

Yeah, it's like my friend said, it's a walled garden. That's what it is. It seems like the people are having too. Too much fun. And if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations to be there, you feel bad about it. When I lived in Boston, the store was like Mecca. Like, people would talk about it, you know, I was like, you had to make the pilgrimage to the Comedy Store. It's one of the first things I did when was. I came to la.

Oh, no. It's a big deal. The first time you go there, I remember looking at it being just the feeling in my heart.

The first time I went there, I hadn't even moved there yet. I went there just to watch. I told them I was a comedian from New York. I'm like, can I go watch a set they're like, yeah, sure. And they let me come in and I sat in the back and watched and it was like Bodaks. It was terrible. It was really bad. Really. A bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of guys with the same act from the 1970s. They had never. You know, those dudes that, like, you'll see them at the store occasionally now that have an actual. From the 80s. Well, these dudes, it was like a decade earlier. Yeah.

When. When I worked at La Hoya, there was one guy that they booked that they had like some. Some deal with Mitzy that he got to perform once a year at the La Hoya. And man, you could just tell, man, it's been. You haven't changed this act since the 70s.

Yeah. They just never evolved and, you know, and they weren't getting spots when Kinison was around. The place was packed. And then Kennison left. Then he had a billboard. He put a billboard right in front of the Comedy Store of his new album that was coming out.

Like, why did he leave the store?

I don't know. He probably did something stupid.

Okay.

I think he definitely fired off a gun because remember, he shot.

The bullet hole is still there.

Yeah, Yeah, I heard they fixed the. The sign, though.

No, it's fixed the plastic. I. Yeah, they might have. I think that the plastic was falling apart, but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet hole is still there.

Okay.

Yeah, I went. I went and looked. I made sure.

Pretty crazy.

The kids. Bullet holes, like part of the thing there. Yeah, yeah.

But the cracked glass was also part of the thing.

Yeah. But I think eventually just fell apart. It's been like 40 years since that happened.

I mean, that might have been what got him banned. Not sure. But then he was banned and then when I came, it was 94. So he was already dead. He was dead and Hicks was dead. So it was weird.

Okay. And so that was a hole that was the law was from. They were just kind of missing that top level. Yeah. Guy.

There was a lull and guys would occasionally drop in to work out, but they didn't put their name on the marquee. No one ever knew they were going to be there. Like, Chris Rock would come in and work out. Damon would come in and work out. But the big comics over there, like Dom Aero, would stop in. There was guys that would stop in. But then it was mostly us younger guys. Holtzman was a big part back then.

I can't imagine Holtzman as a young guy.

I mean, we're only a few Ages. A few years different.

It feels like he's just look like that since. He did.

He was a throwback. He looked like he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94.

Yeah.

Like Slick back, dark hair.

Right.

Always the best. Always a nice guy.

Yeah. Oh, my God. He's the sweetest guy in the world. And there's something about guys who are like that on stage are always super sweet off stage because they like, truly get all the venom out. It's like William. If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's a raving lunatic.

Yeah, yeah, that picture. Oh, wow. Look at Holtzman to the right with a suit on.

Oh, my God. Nepali. Who's next to you?

Freddy Soto.

That's Freddy Soto.

Damn. Boy. That was probably like 96. Wow. Crazy.

Yeah. Brian does look the exact same.

He had jet black hair and he would. Look at. He's looking.

You know what it kind of looks like?

That's his head shot.

There's this guy on Instagram where his whole whole. His whole thing is. It just. He pretends to be a greaser.

Oh, really?

Yeah, but like unironically. And that's kind of what he looks like. But his. It's really funny because all his. All his comments are just like, yo, show us that hog. Like, that's. That's become the. He does like greaser shit. And then all the comments like, but how come. Where's the hog? Reveal. Yeah, it's become like that's so unironically trying to be a greaser that the. That the comments came up with their own sort of culture around him.

So it's comedy. Accidentally.

Yeah. The kind of mocking. They're all kind of making fun of him, but he's genuinely trying to be portrayed. This guy is this greaser guy. It's like Mike the Greaser or something like that. It's so funny.

Well, Holtzman was just. I thought he was gonna blow up, man. I really did. I was like, oh, this guy's gonna be fucking huge. My. This guy. This guy's gonna be gigantic. There was a few guys back then that I was like, that guy's gonna be big. You never did you ever see Mike Ricca? No. The early 90s. Mike Rica was great. Great, man. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened with him.

It's so.

You know if he does comedy anymore.

Yeah, it's so like, it's so easy. People fall off all the. Like, it's like. Cuz it is brutal. The game is Brutal.

It can be.

Yeah, yeah.

But you have to have something brutal outside of the game to keep you centered. You should do something else. That's also difficult for me. It's obviously working out. That's a big part of what keeps me sane. I think it's important for mental health. The people that are the most mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know all have not no control of their body. None of them exercise, they don't eat well, they eat terrible food, they take medications and they're all up in the head. And then little things can send them off a deep end. Once a person makes a mean tweet about them and a couple people pile on, they want to jump off a building.

Right.

You know, there's a bunch of those people out there. And I think like with the pressures of this job, you have to, for your own sanity, you have to find some sort of of an outlet, find some sort of a thing or like take a walk. That too.

Yeah, yeah. It's so it.

That'll help, but should be something that's a little bit. That you exert yourself.

Well, that's like. I was like, that's a good place to start if you're one of these people that like, don't do like, yeah, just a simple walk can really get the ball rolling.

Don't jump right into CrossFit.

Yeah, yeah.

Nothing couch to CrossFit.

Yeah, just be outside and like smell the air and be more so because like, does your phone send you the screen. Screen time updates?

What do you mean?

Like, so my phone will send me like a weekly. Like this is how much you spend on your phone?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For me it's like, damn, this is like a full time job that I'm spending on my phone. It's disgusting. And I have to just remind myself like, oh, the reason I feel bad is because I'm on this 100% I'm on this and I'm consuming a fake reality that like, I think one of the most dangerous things that the phone like the online existence does is is it calls like people like call their fans and stuff a community. And it's not really a community. Your community has to be people you see in person. It can't be this online possibly fake fan club basically.

Well, it can't. Certainly can't be a large percentage of your interactions with people. That's nuts. But I mean there is some sort of a community that you kind of cultivate by interacting with people on social media. It's just that what Price.

Right.

You know, and at what price? And then how much are you doom scrolling? Other than interacting with people and having like semi positive experiences, communicating like sharing ideas. How much of it is just doom scrolling?

Right.

For me it was a. It was a lot and so I backed off it heavy. So I still spend a lot of time on YouTube though. My distraction time is almost all YouTube.

No, my. I'm a doom scroller. Yeah. Because you get caught, you see one thing and you're like, it's so easy to just, just do that.

It is. But I don't want that because it makes me feel weird. But YouTube doesn't make me feel weird. So if I watch some really cool video on, you know, ancient history or something, it's. I never feel bad at all. I'm like, oh, that was cool.

Yeah.

I don't, I don't. Don't come out of it with any negative feeling. I just come out of it like, oh, that's interesting.

I learned something. YouTube is like the modern television now.

It's phenomenal.

That's the one.

Phenomenal.

Just find some. There's people making high quality things. Sometimes I'll get caught up in things that I don't even care about.

Yeah.

Like I don't. I'm not like a huge horror movie fan. I like movies. But. But I found this one, one page called Nightmare Movies and he just explains his favorite horror movies and he has a like great voice. And I've watched like all of his videos. Zero interest in watching any of the movies. I'm interested in watching him react to the movies.

Really?

Yeah.

What's really dope on YouTube also is these little short horror movies that people make on their own. Like real super low budget but like really interesting ideas. There's a ton of them, man.

Right.

Some of them are great.

They're really cool.

They're like eight minutes long. Yeah.

Two minutes long. And they can just get you. Yeah.

Yeah. There's so much entertainment. I like watching people make furniture for some reason. I really do. I love watching people make like live edge tables and, and I don't know.

Yeah, it's just, it's just like, oh, this tickles me.

I like watching people cook. I like, I watch a lot of cooking.

Well, it's, it's so, it's so like you can. Everyone's entertainment so like in their own lane that you can come across a video be like 8 million views and you've never even seen.

Right, right.

Like true virality is tough. Like in the future are there Going to be even like A list celebrities like that, you know, like. Or like it's going to be. There's going to be less and less like a. Like, what would you describe as like an A list celebrity?

Sure.

Right. Everyone has their own sort of lane.

Well, there's more celebrities now than there ever have been before, for sure. There's more, let's just say famous people.

Right.

There's more people that are known than ever before because of social media. Like think about all the streamers and.

Youtubers and oh yeah, awesome podcast streaming scene. It's insane. Yeah, it's insane.

So there's that. So that muddies the water because like you go back to like, let's go Back to like 1960, when Paul Newman was a superstar making movies. How many Paul Newman's were there?

Right?

Yeah. Was it 10? Yeah. On Earth. You wanted to make a big movie, you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman. Do you know of a few people.

Like a star on Sydney Sweeney's like, level now? Right. Back then, that would be a name to sell movies now, like there's movies that she's in that people don't watch.

Right.

And that's like what like an A list celebrity is now. It's like they see there's so much stuff you're competing with.

There's so much content. Just period. I'm always watching a new show. There's always a new show and they're fucking great. There's so many great shows.

Yeah. Or not even. Just random Instagram accounts. I did, I watched this guy, sandwiches of history. All he does is he finds a sandwich book from like some of them from like the early 1900s and just makes a sandwich in them.

Is any of them good?

Some of them are amazing and some of them suck at. Some of them are like. Some of them are like depression era, you know what I mean? It's like bread and sawdust or whatever, you know, like. But some of them are. Some of them are like, damn, that's like a good sandwich. And I just watched this guy eat sandwiches and be like, this is, this is a. This is a great use of my.

Time making an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here. 1921. So you take orange peels, you mix it up with mayonnaise and you spread it on bread. Let's see his face.

He always, he always goes, I'll give this sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm all about it.

Okay.

It doesn't look like he likes it.

It's a Terrible idea.

That's a terrible idea.

Orange peel sandwich. Get the fuck out of here.

Well, that's what people ate.

Yeah. You're starving. Starving. You eat an orange peel sandwich.

Yeah, yeah.

The sandwich was made by a guy who was in a hurry, Right? Wasn't that the idea? I just threw some meat in some bread to eat it all together.

Yeah, I think so. And that the people were like, wow.

Was his. Wasn't his name Sandwich?

He was like, the Earl of Sandwich. I think it was a sandwich. Yeah. As I'm saying that is.

Is that real though? Is that just like. Didn't we. We definitely searched this before.

Isn't there an Earl of Sandwich? Or is that like a.

No, they're 100 is, but it's also like a store. And I'm just like. I'm like, is that even maybe just like a silly myth?

I'll tell you what. If the sandwich didn't originate with the Earl of Sandwich. What a mighty coincidence. That is. What a real deal. Crazy.

There is an Earl of Sandwich. What is the origins of the term sandwich? I'm stuck looking at the Earl of Sandwich.

Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists.

But just put into perplexity. What are the origins of the sandwich? I'm pretty sure it was like a military guy.

Yes.

And he was like, it just give me the bread and the meat. I'll put it together. And he cut the bread open, stuffed it in there. Because I think they used to just eat bread and eat meat. Eat bread. They just ate bread by itself. Stupid. To combine them.

Yeah, yeah, Very autistically. Keep the food separate.

18Th century England, named after John Montague.

The 4th Earl of Sandwich is the Earl of Sandwich. During a prolonged card game in 19. In 1762.

Oh, that's right. He was gambling. That's right. Now I remember.

Oh, well, now that gambling's so fucking massive now what cool food is going to come out of that?

It's already here. Yeah, fast food. Uber Eats will deliver it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without interrupting. Play the practice creation popularized the handheld meal among England's elite. There it is.

Oh, that's so fun. It used to be an elite food.

Oh, okay, so it looks like the Romans had it before. It says similar concepts predated Montague, such as the Roman Ofella, which involved meat or cheese between bread slices. That's a sandwich, right? They just didn't call it that. Huh.

Okay. They finally had a name that stuck. Is there a current Earl of Sandwich?

I bet there is.

Yeah.

Imagine if he's gluten sensitive. That's what I was thinking through is this. But I didn't get any good information from it. Well, now we know. Yeah. You want to talk about places to eat? Austin has an amazing fucking selection of places to eat during the.

During the day. The night leaves a little. Yeah, there needs to be a late night diner.

Well, we were talking about that last night. Like, one of the things I really miss about LA is the Jewish delis. Like Cantors.

Yes.

We used to go there after a club. We'd leave and we'd go to Cantor's, and I would get a pastrami Reuben with steak fries. Oh, my God. Have you ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor?

Yeah, that's what you get at Cantor's.

Good Lord, that's good. Yeah, I mean, it might be the best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up there with Kat's Deli in New York City, which is maybe the king.

Oh, I've never been there.

Oh, Lord. Katz Deli in New York City is fucking legendary. First of all, you have to. You get a ticket when you get there. I don't even know if they accept credit cards. You might have to pay in cash.

Oh, I like that.

You get a ticket when you get there, and you can't lose your ticket. If you lose your ticket, you got to pay like 5,50 bucks. Because you take that ticket and on that ticket they write all the things you get. So you go up to the counter and they're like, we're going to get you. And there's guys that have been chopping meat since the 20s, you know, and they'll slice you off a couple of pieces of brisket, slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami, and you get to eat it while you're there, while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made. And, you know, you tell them what you want. And he pulls the pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front of you. Steam's coming off of it. He's piling it on that rye bread. You're like, you can't wait. And then he gives you a couple pickles in there, and then you're like, what else you want? And then you move down the line. Like, I get order fries, get order fries. I want a root beer. And then you get to the end and they put it all on your ticket.

And then when you leave after you've eaten, then you bring the ticket up to the counter.

Ah, okay. So it's food plus accountability. You have to.

A little bit. It's a weird old system so nobody pays attention. So everyone loses their ticket. If you're from out of town, if you've never been there before, you know, like what. What? The ticket. What. What happened? How much is it?

No, so it's a way to. It's a way to scam the tourists a little bit. It's like a tourist fee, not a scam.

Well, I just think it's how they used to account back then and they just never changed it. It's kind of the charm of the place, right? This weird thing. Show me some canter sandwiches, son. Yeah, some of that.

We were. We. My. When I was a door guy, we were big swingers, guys. That was the. That was.

Show me Cats. Cats.

Yeah, that was. That was the. That was the. The diner we went to. But like, Swingers was great.

That was a great diner. Yeah, that was a great diner. Really good food. And that was open pretty late too. Look at that, son. Are you kidding me? Look at that. Pastrami with Swiss cheese. Oh, Lord, that's so good. And they pile it up high. And they've been doing it that way since the 1800s. How old is Canters? 1888. 1888. Geez.

Yeah.

1888. Look how good that looks.

Oh.

You can see how she's playing, pulling it like that. The flavors. Oh, yeah.

See, this is what. This is what Austin is definitely missing. Yeah, we need. They need something late night. Something that we can all. Where you can go and hang out.

And like now, I had heard that someone was opening a Cat's deli in Austin. Right. But I don't think it's Cats. Cats Deli from New York City.

No, it's just called Cats Deli. Cats never closes.

Oh, coming soon. Go back. Coming soon. On 6th Street. How far is that from us?

Well, we're on six.

It's on west.

It's on west six. So it's like near taking over our current spot.

Yeah. What's that? It's taking over us. Like, I think there's like a bar there or something now. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's kind of near where.

Opening in the same location as the OG Cats is operated for 32 years. So it's way down by J. Carvers.

Yeah, but this says that's not.

That's a five minute drive.

Yeah, that's. You can walk there from. We do that. We do that all the time.

Cats never closes.

But that was August 18th. I had been. Any news Since.

Is it open? Yeah, it's. No, no, no. It's going to take a year.

Oh, it's gonna take a year.

They're building it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. There's a few places like that that are just. They got the name out and it's gonna be open in a year and a half. So was there an original Cats is never closes or is this a new. The one. That's. That. That's where it was. It closed in 2011. So they lied. No. What do you mean closed?

Yeah, Cat sometimes closes for 15 years, by the way.

I would have never allowed them to use a K for closes. Like guys, not Kooky Stop. Yeah.

You're not Krispy Kreme.

Yeah. Why are you doing that?

Right.

So expected in 2026, maybe 2027.

Okay. Well, hopefully they. Yeah, because that's. That's the big hole right now in the Austin game.

Look at it though. This is it. New York style deli menu with sandwiches like Reuben's Day long breath breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes entrees including pork roasts and meatloaves. Oh, my God, it sounds amazing. Open 2024 7. All right.

That'll be it for us.

That'll be it.

Finally. Finally. Because that was the big hole. Outside of that, Austin has like amazing food.

We should help them.

But yeah, after. After 10pm it gets rough pickings around. Yeah.

Let's blow them up. When they open up a lot of.

Halal carts, which I wouldn't expect in Austin. That's such a funny going through that I would be like, oh, halal carts would be a good way. I get late night food entrepreneurs. Yeah.

Dudes recognize the need.

Yeah. That's the only.

The only things you can get this golden tiger.

That's great.

They're open pretty late, right?

They're open till like you're like 1:30.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty late.

That's pretty good.

The comic life. You're like out at 2.

I know.

Yeah.

Looking for food at 2.

Yeah, 2. And you're like. Well, I thank God the. The Mexican hot dog carts people are here, right? Yeah, that happened recently. They started showing up.

Yeah. There's always smart people to capitalize because there's always. I mean, there's so many people walking around drunk.

Right. Just looking for stuff.

Especially 6th Street. You got a taco truck. He kill it.

Oh yeah.

Sixth Street.

Oh, two in the morning. All the fucking zombies.

And there's that road when you go up to seventh where when you're headed towards Creek, there's a whole parking lot that's got a bunch of food trucks. Oh yeah, up in there.

That, that there's a place, my favorite place is called Diddy Dog. They got bulgogi fries.

Bulgogi fries.

Bulgogi fries.

Isn't there a really good cheeseburger place over there too?

Yeah, yeah. There's the yellow burgers. They're pretty good. But for me downtown, if I'm, if I'm eating downtown, I mean, the bulgogi.

Fries not good, huh?

Oh, yeah. There's a, there are a lot. So you can't. I can't get them very often now that I'm older, that I'm like, oh, yeah. To take care of myself. But when I first moved here, I was on that bulgogi fried diet, son.

It's kind of insane how many great restaurants are here, though. It's like, oh yeah, the numbers nuts.

Yeah. Just. And good casual eating place places too. It's like you can really. Everyone who moves, I call it. When you move to Austin, there's the freshman 15 just for eating. Just from eating here. You just get it. And then after you live here for like five years, you get, I think you just get so tired of brisket that you can't look at it again for a while. I, I, it's so much brisket that I only go now when like out of town people are here.

I could eat it 24 days out of a month. I'll take, take six off.

Oh, no, no.

I love it.

Yeah, Sometimes they, the, the Terry Blacks will come to the green room and I'll be like, I can't look at this right?

Oh no.

This is like day three in a row of Terry Blacks. Not to complain, but it is.

Terry Blacks has those beef ribs, dog, that's the best. Ribs are insane.

I do describe it. I had. You got to take every tourist. That's like the Disneyland of Austin. Yeah, yeah. It's a line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's made.

And it's a huge place. They, they, I think they're like the highest volume restaurant in the country.

Really?

Yeah. I think in terms of like brisket and barbecue and stuff. I think they were telling me that. I forget what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that they served there is like as high as anywhere in the country.

That's, that makes sense. It's always, there's always a line there. Giant line. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, and they always move quickly, so they're always getting people, like, in and out.

Well, you can only eat so much. Like, when you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting there for three hours, bitch.

No, you can't. No, you also always get more than you can eat. Yeah, yeah. You always, like. Yeah, cuz it looks so good up there. And then, like, the second you have, like, their cornbread, you're so full. What the is that?

Those beef ribs, man, they're so rich. You can only eat, like, so much.

Of it before you're like, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. No, not before a show. That's always a. That's a mistake that people make, bro.

Last time we had a whole group of us. I made a mistake of sitting next to Metzger and I was in the corner looming over me with conspiracy theories. My. Kurt, you gotta stop trying to enjoy these ribs. You gotta stop. I don't know if it's just the Terry blacks in Austin, because I know they have one in Dallas, I think too, but it says 18% of America's brisket is served by them.

18% of America's. That's so much brisket.

That's crazy.

Metzger is a fun one. In the green room, he said, my favorite is when he'll be like, what? I thought this was common knowledge.

You don't know.

Yeah. You don't know. There was something he said in the green room the other day about, like, mortgage Morgan Freeman at some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman. And we're like, what the are you talking about? I thought this was common knowledge. It's like, no. No one knows anything about what you're talking about.

Is it the Morgan Freeman dated his granddaughter?

Step granddaughter.

Step granddaughter.

Yeah, dated her. And then the. The boyfriend went crazy and, like, killed her. And he was like, I thought that was common knowledge. It's like, what do you mean?

Is that true? The boyfriend went crazy and killed.

That's what he said. I looked at it afterwards and I was like, I don't know. Know where Kurt. Kurt gets his news plugged in. Straight from the Matrix, I think. I don't even know where he finds his stuff.

Well, he's on that Jimmy Dore show, you know, and Jimmy Dore show. The entire show is about exposing corruption and conspiracies. And it's a lot. Yeah, you live in that world all.

The time, then everything becomes a conspiracy.

And everything doesn't leave a lot of room for sunshine. Also, here's the thing. There's enough conspiracy like we talked about the Franklin scandal. There's enough conspiracies that are absolutely real and provable that if you go into it, you will kind of of go crazy.

Right.

I mean, this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones is what happens to a lot of people that get involved in conspiracies. It's like you. You find out how many of them are true, and you start losing your mind. You're like, what is real? Like, what really controls the world? Like, what Fucking lizard people are really at the center of this whole thing.

Right? Yeah. This is kind of better to just stay away at a certain point. Just be like, yeah, we should probably.

Pay attention a little bit. But some people must have an obligation to do it because. Because if it doesn't get exposed, then it's going to continue. And the only way that you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held accountable. The public has to get outraged. So someone has to be making these videos, but doesn't have to be you, right?

Yeah.

Like, for your own personal mental health, it's just not good to absorb all of the evil of the world.

Yeah, there's no reason to take that on. There's no reason.

Just.

Just find happiness in your lane.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's. I feel like that's pretty easy to do.

Yeah, I feel like that's pretty easy to do. Yeah.

Just. Just be a lot of it. Just be happy with where you are and work from there.

Yeah, but it's just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something, you know, and then you, you, you, you find the thing about, like, with Metzger is like, he wasn't always like this. I was friends with him long before he started working with Jimmy, and he was, you know, fun and crazy, always like the same kind of guy. But now it's like the, the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies. It's like, yo, he's right. He's right about a lot of it.

Right.

Which is nuts. And he maintains a lot of it in his brain just bouncing around in there, like.

But, yeah, but I mean, it. Yeah, it just takes over, man. I do think have White Precious, his. His com. Essential special. That's low key. One of the most underrated specials of all time. That. The special is great.

He's very funny.

That special is great.

He's very good. His writing's very good. He's just very smart, you know, He's a great podcast guest. Too. Basically. Just got to kind of corral him a little bit, you know? Yeah. Because he'll go from one subject to the next subject to the next, all in, like, one rant. You're like, okay, go back to that first one Queen Elizabeth did. What?

Yeah.

You know. Yeah, he's just. Well, we have a lot of. I mean, he's another one that lives in Austin now. We have a lot of them. It's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's. It's so. It's so fun watching, like, all these, like, young kids. Dude. Like, rise up and be like. And just, like, find themselves. It's so. Like, I mentioned Fuzzy earlier, but just watching him on stage, like, he does it, it's so. It's great watching him just, like, figure out to not give a fuck and then see what comes from that.

Yeah.

Like, right now he's doing these things at the end when he closes out, like. Like Fat Man. He'll also do a Q and A, but he's not famous, so the questions are so much funnier and, like, the answers are so much wilder because it's just some guy that they all just met.

That's hilarious.

Yeah. So it's a. It's a very fun dynamic to watch his Q and A's and just being. Because the whole audience is like, wait, we're doing a Q and A? Why? We had no questions coming in.

That's funny.

Yeah. Yeah.

The first time I ever saw anybody do a Q and A was Seinfeld.

Really?

Yeah. He did a whole set. He did, like, 45 minutes, and then it was at the paradise in Boston. The paradise was a small club, was a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches, and Stitches was the comedy club. So for the comedy club, like, if you're a regular comedian, I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people. It was, like, a little bit bigger than Little Boy. And so if you were a regular comic, like a road headliner, you would do Stitches. And then if you're a big guy like Jerry Seinfeld, who had been on television, you do the Paradise.

Okay.

So I was with a date. I think I was maybe 20, and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand up. And he did stand up, and then he came back out and he answered questions, and he would just riff with the audience, and it was fucking great. It was really cool. He just started riffing about stuff, and I guess that's, like, how he was creating material and coming up with new premises.

Yeah. Do you get bits when you do that sometimes.

Yeah, yeah. It's not an exact science. Like, we'll have a whole fun Q and a session for 20 minutes and there's no bits. And I'll do it five times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got one. And then you just gotta grab that sucker and reel it into the shore. Yeah.

And just work on it.

Yeah. And then figure it out. But I've. Bottom of the Barrel's the best. Bottom of the barrel's the best premise factory ever.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like. Cause there's certain people who do it. Like, I think. I mean, you're great at it. And I feel like you should. Like, if you were thinking about doing a special, would you ever consider doing a bottom of the barrel type special?

No, because I'd say too much wild shit that I wouldn't want to get published.

That's a very fair point. That's a very. The most insane shit I've ever said has been on Bottom of the Barrel. And just like, I'm so glad there's a place where I can get this thought out, because they'll look at you like, yo, what the fuck?

And you're like, hey, this isn't my idea. You fucking wrote this down.

Yeah, yeah. They get mad at you for. I remember one time I got bestiality and it reminded me of a story. So the way we consumed porn as kids, because you guys had, like, magazines and you'd find in the woods. You have a bit about that.

Yeah, yeah.

That was not so weird that they were. Was these. This is like pre Pornhub. So these pre YouTubes of porn, as I call them. But they are these, like, dedicated sites. They'd be like. One of them was, like, Mr. Chu's Asian beaver. I think you can tell what that's about. That one was great because.

Probably run by a Jewish guy.

Yeah, for sure.

Definitely not a Mr. Chew.

There was a. There was. At the very end, there was this very racist cartoon beaver. And he would have, like, the buck teeth and the rice hat. And then he would rate every girl out of four, like, out of five fortune cookies at the end of each video. That was the whole premise of the site. That's what we were coming up with. Important. And one day. And we'd watch that together in, like, seventh grade. Like, that's the R Are huddling around the magazine. And then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people fuck animals. Yeah. It was, like, wild. And there's been very famous Videos. I think there's one called like Mr. Hands or something. Yeah, yeah, there's very famous. Like those originated out of those sites. And so he was showing us that, and then what I said on stage is, it gave me the life experience to know that sometimes when you. Sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog, sometimes the dog enjoys it. And they all looked at me like I was horrified, which is a kind of horrifying thing to say. But I was also like.

Well, you brought it up.

Yeah.

I wasn't gonna tell this story unless you asked me.

Some dogs must like it. It's probably a girl. Girl dog out there that like some dick.

Oh. I mean, there's probably a guy. There's probably a guide dog out there that's given some dick right now, for sure. Oh, yeah. To some. Yeah. I've seen crazy ladies.

I've seen videos. When I was a kid, there was like this video that a friend of mine had. And I remember one of us had to watch the door. So it was like a century. Yeah. Because there's a door down into the basement. So one of us had to stand up at the door and the rest of us were huddled in front of this fucking 12 inch television with a VCR attached to it.

Damn.

And you put the VHS tape in there. We're watching like a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty. And Barnyard Betty was this crate. They took some crazy crackhead and they gave her money to suck a dog's dick and get by a German shepherd. It's weird to watch, man.

Yeah. You come across some weird shit out there, dog.

Just pump nut into this fucking poor, drunken, sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady Jesus. Sad. Yeah, sad.

Yeah, that's. But that's. Yeah, that's. That's how. Fuck. Well, porn's fucked. It's just so. It's so crazy how it's just moved towards. I guess it's more empowering, I guess. What's like individual creators, right?

Like only fans. Yeah, it's all the numbers. You ever seen the numbers?

I saw the. The one lady that makes more than LeBron.

Yeah, that. But I mean, the number of actual girls that are on OnlyFans.

Oh, it must be. It must be depressing.

Crazy.

Yeah. And it must be depressing how many people are selling themselves to like, nobody.

Exactly. That's the thing. The. The vast majority aren't making any money.

Right.

And then their pussy's out there forever.

Just forever.

Yeah, they're getting by a dildo in front of the whole world. The guy saves it on his hard drive forever and ever and ever and ever.

Right.

And you were 19. You just didn't want to work. But I think the number between girls of 18 to. I forget what the age is. Something in their 20s. It's like 10. 10%. That's crazy.

Wild. It's. But it's content creation. It's like, that's a genuine market that people are going for, and that's why that's the way to do it.

It's also pornography.

It is pornography. Yeah.

Right. But I mean, content creation is TikTok Instagram.

Right.

You know what I mean? Like, that's content creation.

I think they view it in the same vein.

Wow. Like, it depends on what you do.

Right. I know that top lady. And this is something.

Sophie Rain.

Sophie Rain. And this something that's just interesting across all Gen Z is that her thing is that. That she's a virgin.

Right.

And that's how she sells. Which is like. Yeah. Which, you know, take it for what it is. But like her and that. The Nick Shirley guy. Virgin. Nick Fuentes, virgin. It's like, that's like a thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity. Yeah.

You were talking to me about this in the green room. That, like, this incel. Problem is unrecognized. That there's a giant percentage of people that are, like, voluntarily celibate in this country.

Yes, I think so. And it's like a lot of it is maybe this sort of new religious. This sort of religious fervor that's sort of developing with them as well. Because Gen Z is more religious.

Yeah. But aren't they horny? I don't get it.

They're not me. They're not. There's something like some crazy amount of women under 25 have never been approached by a guy their age, like, in public.

What?

Yeah, it's. The game is dm. So it's all online. So it's all fueling that sort of loneliness. Yeah. They don't go out. They don't go out. Like, alcohol consumption from Gen Z to Millennials is like. They drink 800% less. Some crazy shit like that. Third spaces. You know the concept of a third space?

No.

Okay, so you have work and home. That's space one, space two. And a third space is like. You know, when I was visiting college, we go to the bowling alley every day for one. One summer, it was stuff like that. So place that you can all go, the library, the mall. Places to exist outside of the two spaces. Those Places are completely disappearing. Whether people are staying inside all the time or, or they've become too expensive. Like movies now are like very expensive. So it's like kind of priced out of being a third space on top of all the things that are going on with movies. So those are also disappearing. So places where you can meet someone in person are gone. So they're not meeting in person. A lot of it is app driven and, and you know, and then you.

Got to wonder about like sex drive drop off because, well, you can access.

Porn like, like instantly now.

Right.

So you can at least play that part of your brain. Give it something. Right. Give it a rush of some kind that it would kind maybe get from like a lesser version of sex but still feel fill that void.

Right. There's also testosterone levels have dropped. Like fertility levels amongst women have dropped.

Yeah.

Miscarriages have risen.

The west, the west, the fertility rates in the west are like massively concerning. Like it's, you know, we people like worry about bringing in migrants, but at the same time there's the only ones having kids at replacement level. Like the west isn't having that. I had my, I had my 15 year high school reunion recently and I was in town, I was like, I'll go to this and I was like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's like not married and doesn't have kids. And most of the people weren't married or didn't have kids.

How old now?

33. Yeah. Most of the people there just, I would say of.

Yeah.

Didn't have kids. Which is, which is wild at 33. At any other generation, this is a late time to not have a kid. Yeah, this is pretty. For people who grew up middle class millennial, I would say this is pretty standard to not have a kid. And there's certain, I think, driving factors to the fact that a house is unbiable for a lot of people my age and are younger that like, because you're sold the dream on a house and two kids. Well, if you can't get the house like it, it sucks to be renting with kids.

Right.

You know, the instability.

Average home buyer age is increasing while the median age for all u. S. Home buyers reaching 59.

Yeah.

Whoa. That's pretty late.

Yeah.

Record late 20, 25, 40. Median age for first time buyers hit a record high of 40. Yeah.

So it's like that's how much, that's how long you have to like it's hard to raise a kid without a house.

You know, that's crazy.

And the American. I think the American community in that way is dying because, like, you know, you. It takes a village to raise a child. So you raise a house, you raise a child in a house you bought. Your neighbors generally said the same. There's a certain level of comfort and like, you know, oh, my mom can do this thing for me. I can go to my neighbor's house. And you know what I mean? There's safety in that. But if everyone around you is a renter, then your community kind of disappears. Yeah, there's no like set community.

That's a really good point.

And it's like bringing up it. A. Kids need consistency. So bringing up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's, it's. It's probably anxiety inducing to people who can't afford homes.

For sure.

Definitely on that. And then child care is expensive.

Then if also your friends aren't doing it, you know, and then women are waiting later and later because they want to prolong their career.

Right.

And then it becomes harder. And then you get into in vitro fertilization.

Yeah, there's definitely some. This, this with this wave of feminism and capitalism. There's definitely some like, insidious ties there of just like, you can, you can, oh like work. Create capital for us and then make it, make it. So it's impossible or very hard for one working house spouse to like, just. If the man is working to raise a kid.

Do you think is on purpose?

I think maybe it wouldn't start on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined.

Well, isn't it just a. Just a side effect of if women want to pursue careers. Yes, you're gonna have less children.

But the. That. That is for sure. But there is a thing about it. There's this like almost demonization of the women who choose to stay at home. Like, you know, it's like looked. Oh tradwife. It's looked down on.

But isn't that just because of the women that are pursuing careers that give them that. That looked down on.

Yeah, this is true.

And it's probably because they secretly feel like maybe they're missing out.

Maybe. To me, it's like, it's so funny that both can exist. It can be the woman that go for their careers and the women that want to stay home. It's just for one group to demonize the other, I think is just very interesting.

Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population drop is a real thing.

It does look like the humanity. Have you ever seen that Population curve of the deer.

Mm.

Yeah. It's like. So I think humanity is kind of at that point where it levels off. Have you. Yeah, because I remember my bio class today, which. That would be the populate, like the. The exponential growth and then the level off, and we've had the exponential growth, and we're looking like, that part of the graph.

Well, the thing is, like, there is still exponential growth. It's just not in the West. That's what's kind of weird.

Right? Right.

Poor people. Poor people want to have a bunch of kids, and they're having them all the time. Right. And then they want to come over here.

Yeah.

Over Minnesota. And then have their kids in daycare. It doesn't exist.

Right. But yeah, there is something happening in the west. Or like, the. The way that, like, the South Korea and Japan.

Oh, they're fucked.

They're, like, fucked. They're, like, actually fucked. They're, like a couple generations away from. Like, how are you going to support this whole thing?

Right.

Unless you let people in.

Well. Or you encourage people to have kids. If you turn it around with the youngest people, then you have, like, a blip for a while, but then it gets back to it. But, man, you have to, like, make a concerted effort. And how do you encourage people to have children? Like, because you're gonna have to have women that don't pursue careers.

Right.

Right. If you're gonna have five kids, like, what are you gonna do? You're working all day.

Right.

That's kind of crazy. When you have kids, you realize how nuts that is, because it's like, man, your kids, they. They want their parents, you know? And that's good for them to have their parents around, especially in this world of predators and creeps and weirdos.

Right.

And things that can happen at daycare. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's. It's. I don't know how they would incentivize that to happen.

How do you.

Yeah, you can't. You can't. Really?

Yeah. Because people are selfish. They want what they want in their life. And, you know when Elon's like, oh, we're experiencing population collapse, they're like, so. Not me. Bye.

Right.

I'm going to the movies with my friends. You know what I mean? Like, the idea of changing diapers. Like, I don't want. I don't like her that much. Stick around with her for the next 18 years.

Yeah, you also. You also. When you have the ability to choose everyone at your fingertips, it's like Netflix. When you can Watch everything. You watch nothing. So we can choose everyone. You can't. You don't commit to anything, right? Yeah, it's just because everything's these sort of superfluous, like, kind of deep relationships.

I know a lot of people that have used the apps and then found someone and got off the apps. So there are people, but generally they're a little older, right?

Yes, they're. They're like, at a certain age, you sort of, like, look for that. Yeah, but like, when. In your early 20s, when people were, like, settling down in their 20s beforehand.

Yeah.

It made sense. They were the only person around, maybe, like. But now you're in a city, you can just. It can be, like, in a big one in New York, where there's, like, an endless stream of people. There's no reason to make a choice if you don't want to.

I always saw a video of a lady who created an app where a man is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date. So the man sends her money so that she can get her nails done, get clothes for the day, all these different things for the date. And this lady set up this app.

Damn. I'm, like, smart.

It's kind of prostitution.

I mean, it's. Sure.

I mean, it's kind of without the guarantee of sex.

I know.

It's weird. You're not just showing up. These are my clothes. I drove here in my car. I'm meeting a person. No, it's. That person is paying me to prepare for our date.

Right. And creating me into a person in his head. It's.

Well, you're gonna get a very different kind of person that's gonna meet you. You're gonna get a kind of person that's willing to give you money immediately before he has any connection with you at all.

Right.

Like, he might meet you, and you're super annoying. He's like, God damn it. I gave that a hundred bucks.

That's so funny. That's a Richard. I think it was Richard Feynman. He was talking about getting girls because he was good at it. And he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink on the first date. Never something like that.

Crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's not gonna get a lot of quality women.

Ah, well, maybe it's.

Back then, it was different.

Yeah. And you're kind of famous in your world.

Yeah, he's a famous, brilliant guy. The scientists back then were all, like, rock stars. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, yeah. They're all, like, just everyone around them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that Was making the atomic bomb just losing their minds.

That was the crazy thing about the Oppenheimer thing, right? Your Oppenheimer was a freak.

Good for him.

It's just out there getting his on.

Yeah. Communist chicks.

Yeah, they're probably fun.

Oh, yeah, that's living, especially back then. That's living dangerously. That's. That's the same level of. That's the same level of come as the gay Republican senator. It's like this is. This is banned. Right, Right.

How many gay Republican senators you think there are? I mean, not zero.

Yeah, for sure.

In the closet. Not zero.

No, definitely not. It's. It's usually. It is usually the ones that are like the most pro. Like anyone who's like, still very pro anti gay marriage now, like, loudly. It's like, what's going on here?

Or really into war. We gotta get those Iraqis out of their homes.

Oh, yeah, the fucking. Just so. Just war hawks with ira. Iran's going through it right now.

What's going on right now?

Yeah. You don't know what's happening?

Well, I know about the protests and I know about killing the protesters.

Yeah. I mean, that's what. Yeah.

It seems like there's some sort of a strike that may be imminent, isn't it? It feels like it.

Like from the United States.

Yeah.

I think the US Is kind of going to stay back for a little bit.

You think so?

A week in Duran is. They're weak right now.

Well.

Because they're dealing with internal strife.

It's kind of crazy to see how many people are on the streets.

I mean, the Iranian. The average Iranian civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal since the 50s. Since we installed the Shah. Yeah, we installed the shah. And then Khomeini comes and is like, hey, remember the democracy they stole from you because we had deposed the democrat, an elected leader. Well, we'll bring it back. And they're like, okay. And then the clerics just took over and fucked them. And they've just been a constant stream of like, the average. The average of is just getting fucked by outside forces for so long.

Well, it's all about the nationalization of their oil.

Yep.

They wanted to nationalize their oil. And we were like, nah, play.

Fuck that.

Fuck that. You thought.

You think you're gonna have control over your own state? Get out of here.

Did you heard Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night?

No.

He's like. He goes, I think. I think Maduro is secretly working for the CIA. He helped them arrest him. And then. And then he is going to testify that the 2020 elections were rigged.

Wow. If that comes true, what a. What a. What a Babe Ruth call. What a point to the sky that is.

That's great.

I told him.

That comes true. I'm buying you a car.

Go find a.

Find a car you really like. We're going to get you a car. Yeah.

That's crazy.

You need an American muscle car. I'll get you a Mustang GT or something.

But I will say this. When. When the Iranians protest, it's, like, admirable because you know they're going to die.

A lot of them have already died. A lot. Thousands of them.

A lot of them died. And the same with the hijab protests, where just women were disappearing for. Not we in a job. It's like, damn, bro. They really like it. They've gotten a raw deal, historically, for the last half a century, and they're still fighting.

Yeah. Crazy.

Yeah. I read. When I was a kid, I read this book called Persepolis. It's in my, like, greatest books of all time, but it's. I read Persepolis, and I was like, maybe in high school, early, late middle school. And I just realized, like, oh, man. Because you get bombarded, especially at that time we're in fighting in the Middle East. You get bombarded with propaganda of, like, what these people like over there. And I'm reading Persepolis, I'm like, oh, really?

Right.

They're just people. Like, she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic police is like, we'll fucking fuck them up if they get caught. And they just have these secret parties with just listening to music.

Secret listening to music parties, just listening to jail.

Yeah. Just regular things.

What is this? Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado insists that Maduro rigged the 2020 U.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other elections in the region. What?

How?

Third. I saw that going around, too, so I don't know that Kurt's too crazy on that one. What? Yeah, there's a. This isn't even the first one. This was just. I was showing you the day. How could Maduro rig United States elections?

Yeah. What? Yeah. What is. Where is that power coming from all of a sudden? Because if the power to rig election, do you think he would be able to stop himself from getting arrested?

This is from the gray zone. It says, Hugo El Polo Carval Carvajal is likely to serve as the star witness for the US Against Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to save himself. He's even indulging the Trump. Trump's conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020 US election.

The gray. What's the gray zone is that.

I think that's Max Blumenthal's show.

Okay, so that's like a source.

Yeah.

Okay, okay, okay.

He's legit.

Okay.

Yeah. Anti war. So if. If he's saying that, maybe there's something to it.

Damn. How would be. How would he. And what mechanism would Maduro be able to.

That's what I'm saying.

Do an election.

What are. Okay, let's find that out. How do they think Maduro had a hand in rigging the 2020 election? What's the conspiracy?

Yeah, was it like he did all the. Like he helped with the mail in votes? Because that's the only. That's the only way you could steal that election. Right.

Like, Venezuela is pretty far away. Here's a tweet from before the election even happened. Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager. This is from 2024. Just went on national TV to declare victory. Despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime, they're setting up to commit a bigger election theft in the 2020 election in the United States. States. That's not. That's just someone's opinion.

Yeah. How does that add up?

That they're stealing the election?

Yeah, because they stole it in Venezuela.

But they did steal it in Venezuela.

Yeah, that's for sure.

What does it say? Looking around, that this is. It says he. He did clearly stole Venezuela's election. Threatened bloodshed if he lost. Restricted. What is that? Intel. What is it? International observers. International observers. Block transmission of results.

Yeah, that. That definitely happened. I mean, it was very telling how happy the Venezuelans in America were when he was gone. Yeah, that was. That was a genuine thing. If they were very, very pleased about that. Yeah. And then you had people, you had like white leftists be like, this is bad.

Yeah, you're supporting a dictator. It's like. And the way they did it was so unprecedented. Going and storm the castle and stuff. Steal the guy. Yeah.

Kind of shows the power, like, kind of tells also the other countries, like, hey, back off.

Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever. It did that, like, literally, like, makes your organs bubble. Everybody, like, falls to the ground. They're writhing in pain and agony. And then they just stormed in and everybody was incapacitated. Damn. Stormed in. Everybody up. And that was a wrap.

Well, if that's what war is becoming. That kind of better.

It's kind of crazy. Have you heard the.

That's kind of better than, like, ground troops and NonStop fighting in 20 years in Afghanistan.

Okay, here's lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro having access to voting fraud technology. Maduro's gonna sing like a canary. And the Democrats are screwed. No wonder. What?

Okay, is that lady even real?

Who.

That looks like a. No, I'm the avatar that. The person. The person tweeting this. See this, this. This reeks of bot to me.

Yeah. Follow me for breaking news.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why do you know? Yeah. Or just guy. Clearly account. Clearly just making stuff up.

See if you can find an account of how they did it, because there's an account by someone who is a witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was that these guys came out of nowhere. The helicopter said, came out of the nowhere. The drones, they shut down all the radar. Everything got shut down. And then all of a sudden, there's drones flying everywhere and helicopters and these dudes. 20 guys killed, you know, who knows how many fucking humans, right? No one got killed on the American side. They captured him and his wife stuffed him back in the helicopter, and they were in and out in 10 minutes.

10 minutes. Yeah, there's. There's that. There's a very famous video of a twitch streamer in Venezuela just out on the streets, and then everything just. Really. Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah, it just goes dark.

That's crazy. Damn. That's crazy.

And, yeah, you can. And you're a human, you can tell, like, oh, something's up. Yeah, this is not a normal. Everything, like, all the street light, it went just dark.

What's crazy, because we knew they had some really wild technology, but they didn't know. We didn't know what they were capable of until we've seen this. And we're like, oh. What's really interesting is my friend Evan Hair was talking about. About that, like a year ago on the podcast. He was talking about it maybe less than a year. He was like, if we go to war with the cartels, like, they have no idea what kind of ultra violence they're in for. He's like, the shit that these guys are going to do when they get. When they're going to plan this out. They had a. They built a replica of his house, and they went through it blindfolded. Yeah. So they know exactly where every turn is. Where. Where to go. They, They g. War planned this for a long time. Thing was false.

False.

Which one? From over the live stream going out. Yeah. Right. But find the account of the witness. I stumbled across that on the way to it. Okay. The, the account of the guy who said he was there, if it's accurate, is crazy because he's. He basically said they just incapacitated everyone and then just went in and murdered everybody. Everybody. And pulled. Pulled out Maduro like no one could move. You can't do anything. And then these guys land in helicopters and everyone's writhing in agony, like just running through. Whacked everybody. No one got shot back at. Crazy.

Yeah, but I think, yeah, I think that's what warfare, outside of what's happening in Russia, Ukraine, that's kind of what warfare is now. Right? Like, oh, is. Is Iran gonna, is Israel gonna go to war with Iran? We'll just quickly just take out all their. Govern all their generals real quick. Well, that's if the threat of war is done.

You know, you're dealing with Venezuela versus the United States of America.

Right.

But if it was the United States.

Of America versus Russia or China, it'd be a lot different.

It's a lot more fucked up. Yeah. Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs. That's why get away with shit like this.

Right, right, right. Yeah, that's a fair point.

That is part of the thing, you know. And then it's like the whole thing's so transparent. Trump's like, immediately, we're going to take. Take the oil. There's plenty of oil. Oh yeah, the deal.

Yeah. I don't think it was a coincidence. All of a sudden there was. I had gas under $2 last week in the gas station across the street. I was like, I wonder if that's Venezuela related.

Not in California. California gas companies are pulling out. Valero pulled out of California. It's going to cost them $1 billion. And they're like, yeah, it's not worth. Rather leave.

Yeah, fuck you. Well, yeah, the cost of living there is so high too. It's like, like when we talk about like young comics, it's like it's what you have in Austin is like at least a way, a much cheaper quality of life and better and better. Yeah. Where you have space and like, you know, things are more expensive than anywhere else in Texas probably for sure. But like, it's still like gas was under $2. You can get, you can like rent is stabilizing. It's going down. It's going to go down. I think A lot of, like, California, New York developers came in here and they were like, austin's where people are. So we can just build a lot. But in New York and California, you have a finite amount of space. And also you can just build out. And once you build out, like, the rent at my place went down because people were like, I'll just buy a house out there.

Right.

And no one's living in this apartment complex and it drop like, you know.

Like, if you live in Dripping Springs, it's way cheaper and it's only 30 minutes away. Everywhere in the country, 30 minute commute is normal, right?

Right. Yeah, it's normal here. Here. It's. What's nice about here is you'll see something that's 15 minutes. It'll be 15 miles. Like, oh, that's. That's normal. That's normal. Yeah, yeah. It was an hour and a half. No, it was almost two hours. I went from Redondo beach to Burbank after a podcast at 5, and I was like, oh, I should have just killed myself. That would have been a more effective use of my time.

Locked up.

Yeah.

Yeah. When the 405 or the 5 gets locked up, it's depressing.

Oh, it's hell.

That trip down to San Diego, if you want to do the La Jolla.

Store, you got to leave early.

You got to leave early at noon. Leave at noon because that means you'd be down in San Diego right around the time rush hour starts.

Yeah, yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah, it's. It's. But yeah, it's just a cheaper place to, like, for a young comic who, like, if it's time to move to a place. Yeah, it's like Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well.

It's also just a better vibe. There's less tension, there's less people.

Yes, Yes. I feel like there are times where I would take a day off in LA and I feel like I'm falling behind because everyone around you is so frantic. And here it's like, oh, I can breathe. I can actually just enjoy this day.

Off, which is important. You gotta have some kind of balance.

Yes.

You want to be a little bit frantic, but then you gotta. You gotta achieve some balance and let your brain sort of recalibrate. Come back on. Just get a new perspective.

Come back.

Yeah.

Rest is so. We're so this grind culture.

It's for.

Oh, here we go.

Get into this, though. Same kind of thing. I'll check the account up. Account. Main proponent for the drive to Recall Gavin Newsom California needs rebuild, the better. So it might be a fake person. And then there's no. There's no evidence to, like a link or where they got the information from, which is why I just checked first. But they. They just have a long story here. It just says interview security guard. So it could be total propaganda. Right?

Yeah.

Made up for me. You know, you could ask AI to make up a story.

What it.

Right. A good story to put on Twitter.

Right. And then. Yeah.

Just tried to find it anywhere else. Is it only from this one guy? Yeah. That's why I was finding. It was Caroline Levitt shared it. And this is the. That's the main account where she shared it from what you're doing and read this. I Googled that. And she. She said that a ton of times.

How long. How long has Carolyn Levitt been the press secretary? This whole time.

Right.

Aren't they. How quickly they. They move past those.

They usually last about two years. Except for that last.

Except for the last one. Yeah. I wonder if that set a precedent.

She decided to hang in there to bit her in. They were trying to get rid of her. She sucked.

St. Pierre, right?

Yeah. Whatever her name was. It wasn't St. Pierre.

It wasn't Savier. I thought it was something like that.

Karine Jean Pierre.

Okay. Yeah.

She was terrible.

She did forever and again.

The president is committed. The president, like, she would do like the Obama thing with her fingers.

Yeah. Yeah.

Out of here. They just try. She had a lie all the time. Like, that's her job.

Dead person.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's hard to do. That's. That's pretty. Like, you know, you have to keep juggling a lot to be like, oh, this dead person's still alive.

I thought he was gonna die, like, immediately after he left office. I'm like, he's gonna die soon. Like, real soon.

Yeah, it's kind of wild. He's kept going, but every now and then he'll.

They'll trot him out and he'll start talking.

He'll be at an Eagles game. He's like, yeah, you know what's going on?

Every now and then they'll. They'll. He'll talk. They still let him talk. Like, there's been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank God you didn't win.

Jesus Christ.

If you came back. If. You know, they never replaced Kamala with you and you won, or you, Kamala and you won and you're this guy now.

Well, yeah. Well, he fucked them by not bowing out.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like, let him. At least let him have a primary because. Because then it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism. But no one voted for you in first place.

The thing is, if they had a primary, who do you think would have been it? They probably would have made her. The Democrats would have decided on her.

Anyway, I think because it would have been too soon for Newsom to run. He still has that stink of COVID on him. So he's. That's why he waited for this, this go around. Yeah, it's been enough. People have forgotten Covid. Enough. It's been more than half. It's been half a decade since people's minds, like people's political memories are so short that, yeah, 20, 28, that's so far away from COVID that he can, he can just be like, I did fine or whatever the fuck.

Do you think so?

I think so. Enough to. Enough to run. Enough to probably get the nomination.

Do you think he's going to get the nomination? Who else?

Who else?

Someone else can rise over the next three years.

Someone is. Someone else would have to. If it had been an Obama thing, it would be like someone would be rising in this upcoming midterm. So if there's someone like that, maybe.

But all it takes is someone who's a compelling speaker, who's not demonstrating full of shit. Because the thing about him is he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate. When someone starts talking about the fraud and waste in California. How about the high speed rail? They spent billions of dollars.

This fucking nothing.

Soon. We're gonna get it done soon, right? There's so much fraud, so much waste.

Yeah, but I don't think they have anything because you can right now, all you can, you can just run on like, I'm not Trump. And that'll be enough to get people be like, yeah, he's not Trump.

What about that Josh Shapiro guy? The guy who's governor of Pennsylvania?

Maybe. I don't know. It's just. To me, it's like a. It's just like a political popularity contest and he's making a lot of noise.

A lot of people upset at the Jews right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fair point.

Yeah, that's a very Shapiro.

It just seems like. Yeah, that's a good point. It just seems like he's the one making the most noise and we're getting some. We're getting towards crunch time. Not really, but like it's the closer we get to the midterms and there's no other big voice. It makes me feel like it's gonna be him.

Well, clearly he wants to do it.

He definitely wants to do it.

Yeah.

And he might just be powerful politically enough to win that nomination.

That guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up California and then goes on to fuck up the whole country.

It's very possible. I think that's maybe not very possible, but I think it's. It's a. It's an outcome. It's an outcome he's definitely running. It's going to be. It's. I don't know what that ticket's going.

To be, but they're going to make us all trans.

Yeah, it was going to be like. It's going to be like a Nome, Crockett. That's my early call of what they're.

Going to try to shut the up. Are you kidding?

Yeah, yeah, I think so. I think. Yeah, yeah. I think that's who. Cuz she. She's very rever. Aoc maybe aoc.

I think AOC is more reasonable.

AOC is much more reasonable. Reasonable for sure.

See, when Crockett, Marjorie Taylor Green start going after. Back and forth to each other, insulting each other and yelling at each other.

No, that's. Oh yeah, I did, I did see that. That's a very, very fun moment.

Nobody wants to be a representative. That's the thing. It's like all these successful business people and academics, like they don't want to do that.

No, it's all like lawyers and like. Yeah.

And creeps.

And creeps. Yeah. That's the only. Well, it's like it's of those things where you're right, the person who wants to do it probably isn't or person who should do it probably gonna want to do it 100% because you do have to make decisions that negatively affect millions of people's lives sometimes.

And you gotta grease the pockets of your donors.

Yeah. And to be like a regular guy and want to do that was probably would tear you apart. To be like, ah, here's a decision that'll kill people. You gotta be kind of a sociopath.

What's really fucked is how much of an impact people like us have on elections now. That's what's nuts. Like podcasters have a big impact on elections now. Well, that's how really weird.

That's how much the mainstream media has kind of lost its lead.

Drop the ball.

Dropped the ball hardcore.

Well, it's just by being unreliable, by being People that you can't trust.

And uncensored conversation is like, people are going to trust them more because this is how. This is how people talk to their friends more often than not.

Yeah.

Than like, oh, I can't say this because this sponsor is going to be mad at me.

Right.

You know, like, this. This is. This is just a much more accessible way of finding out people's real thoughts.

And a lot of it is just how we talk. I mean, this. There's been so many times we've been in the green room that totally. It could have been a podcast, Right. Just put a camera on it live in the green room. It would fuck up the vibe. But it would be a great podcast.

Yeah, it would fuck up the vibe. Yeah. It would lose that quality. That would make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually podcast.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely, definitely. All right, brother. Well, I'll see you tonight.

I'll see you tonight.

And tell everybody your special. It's out. It's on YouTube.

It's called Too Soon. Check it out. It's. I'm very proud of this material.

It's great material, man. And you've been killing it. You've been killing at the club. And the new stuff's fantastic, too.

Thank you. And, yeah, go to a side hair.

Look at that.

Every time I've been on here, I've had different hair. Today. Today I went cornrows.

Yeah, yeah. You've had the cornrows for a while now, right?

Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch, and then I was like. I kind of like this. Yeah, it's crazy for this guy, this hairline, to have cornrows.

All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you tonight. See you tonight. Bye, everybody.

Feel extras.