Transcript of #2256 - Protect Our Parks 14

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All day, all I've been doing is sending Ari. My. My algorithm is flooded with Jewish stuff.

I know.

My algorithm is flooded with like, Jew rules.

It's just rules from like low level influencers in the HIDIC community. It' crazy what you've.

Like, I get so many of them every day, so I send them to him.

What are the rules?

Oh, it's all like, are you allowed when you. You're frying pan. When you use your frying pan for eggs, are you allowed to use it for me? Say you go on vacation and your. Your pot isn't kosher. What can you do on the Sabbath? You gotta take it to the ocean, throw it in the ocean. They're throwing the pots in the ocean to make it kosher. You have to let go of it. They have a rule. You have to drop it in the.

Water and let go.

Oh, yeah, those people are. And it's also funny. Like, you click on the link you send you and the first thing you hear is.

Tell them to put the fires out with the weather. Get some rain over there.

Yeah, they don't really control the weather, obviously.

Obviously not.

Otherwise hurricanes wouldn't hit Florida.

Good point.

They barely get their pots kosher. Yeah, no, they make them hit Florida so they get their wheels.

Yeah. It's hilarious that some people are saying, climate change. This is climate change. This is about. That wasn't a Jew. That was a whiny liberal. This is climate change.

Borderline J.

No, no, the. I'm doing a New York thing. I'm doing a New York thing that I'm doing the Jew. When they talk like this. This is a whiny liberal. It's climate change.

Wake up.

No, it's arson, you idiots.

I think it's Mr. Beast. He's setting up a new video.

Wow, that's a strong accusation.

Bold.

No, no, just kidding. But they've been trying to get rid of the homeless for a while.

Bro, the homeless are doing it.

Well, they're flammable.

Everyone is. But they. They're more inclined to use fire to get their anger out.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. Superman actually caught people lighting things on fire. He filmed it. He put it up on his Instagram.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the middle of the firestorm, people were lighting things on fire to contribute to the fire. Wow. You've got losers. You have 100,000 losers that are just camping on your street.

What do you think?

Is going to happen. What do you think is going to happen when the people with the houses are in jeopardy? What do you think is going to happen when these people that are living in $50 million houses and you're camping out a block away? Which is exactly what's going on over there.

And the looting.

And the looting. Well, they looted people's houses. When they found out that places were getting evacuated, swarms of organized gangs were showing up. This lady said a hundred guys showed up in front front of this house and she thought they were helping our neighbor move. They just broke down the door and started stealing TVs, stealing everything.

The house burnt down. That's kind of an if the house burnt down.

But that. What if the house doesn't burn down? You just stole all their.

Right.

Yeah.

It's like you can't do that because it's a break.

Obviously, I'm not actually defending, but I.

See their point too. If I was super poor.

Yeah.

If I was super poor and we were living in the fucking hood and then someone came along and said, listen, they're evacuating these fucking communities anyway, man. Fuck it, let's go get paid. Like, let's go. Yeah.

The house is gonna burn down. They're gonna get insurance.

And if you look and you get caught, they just let you go.

Yeah, that's true.

They just let you go.

And then didn't Biden say he's given full coverage for this one? How can that be so much money?

The same thing is, you know, college desk.

Beaten Trump. He said that too.

No, no.

In the election. Beat Trump. Oh, yeah. He said he could have beat him in a fight, too.

That would be great.

Imagine those two fighting. How much would you pay?

It'd be just like the Jake Paul.

Dyson to be there.

That takes the same amount of power.

He's so sad.

Yeah.

Trump would get him, though. Trump would fall. Trump would tackle him.

Trump would bite his face off. He would. He would grab his thumbs, shove them into his eyes and bite his face off.

Yeah.

100. They're two totally different kinds of humans.

Yeah.

Biden is used to, like, Secret Service around him his whole life. Trump is a psychopath.

Yeah.

He will throw those thumbs right his eyeballs like the mountain did to the gay guy in Game of Thrones.

Wasn't that a Steven Seagal movie too, where he did that?

Was it.

That's probably who did with the Jamaicans. What? Who was that Steven Seagal movie?

Yeah, he had a movie. Yeah. With the sword fighting. He eyeballed the guy, man. Listen, man, if you watch the ufc, eyeball pokes, even to the most badass fucking dudes in the world are devastating. Crazy. Like a nutshot is way easier to recover from than a hard eye poke.

That's true.

It is funny to see them all tough and they go, owie, owie, owie, my eyeball.

But it's just so crazy. We still have this. You still allow fingers? This is totally unnecessary. This doesn't contribute to fighting. Have it. Fingers free.

Tell that to John Jones.

No, no. They need a glove that covers the fingers. It's real simple. And then you have thumbs still, but you're going to eliminate the amount. There it is. Called it. That's what Trump would do to Biden.

So fake. It looks so real back then.

Oh, it's 1990. That stuck with you.

That's crazy.

Was he fighting Predator?

Now, these were Jamaican drug dealers, I think. Or gang members.

Jesus.

Oh, it seems so real. When I was a kid. Wow.

Yo. You know, it's a good movie. Alien. Romulus, the new Alien movie. I went on a little vacation and I watched it on the plane. Oh, my God.

You gotta be careful, though, playing movies. Plane movies seem better than they are.

It gets you.

Every time. I'm on a plane, I go, that movie was incredible.

Yeah.

Then I go home and show it to someone.

I cried watching Home?

Yeah.

You're on an edible.

I watched Rudy once. I was like, fist bump McCusker walked.

By me, and I was watching Guardians of the Galaxy. And it was at the end when it was just aliens. One of the guys dies in it. And then it's just a bunch of aliens show up and, like, celebrate his life.

Yeah.

I was sobbing. He walked by, and it was just aliens.

Like, you guys. Are you guys older?

What's wrong with you?

Are you guys old enough to remember when they would just show a movie on a plane?

Yes. One movie.

Yeah, I know. You're old enough.

Starting now.

All right. Ashtray combined.

Yeah. You would have to pay for headsets.

Yeah.

If you were cheap, you just watch the movie with no sound. Like you'd have to pay for those disposable headsets. I don't even know if you're allowed to use your own. Didn't they have, like, a special Jack?

No one had their own. All you had is a Sony walk.

People had Walkmans. Walkman, had a little Headphone Jack.

Special Jack. It was a thing, J.

Yes, that's right.

And you try to put your thing in, and it would go.

You can Sort of hear it. That's right. Now I'm remembering that we were more.

Of a community back then. We all to watch the same.

Why do the headphones they give you suck?

Not only do they suck sucks, but you're only renting them.

Well, no one keep mine. They hand out shitty disposable ones, which I know, that is why they suck. But they've got to be able to make them better.

Yeah, they're too loud. The planes are loud. So you don't have the noise cancelation. You're still getting like the.

After they break in and make an announcement. That's at level 70.

Oh, my God.

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I do it all day, every day.

Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, I've done quite a bit.

Yeah.

How mad is it for you? I mean, it can't be good.

No, it's terrible.

Well, I know it's like smoking, like.

People talk about, but it's one of those things where it's like, hotly debated among even conspiracy theorists. Like, some people say it's going to kill you and other people are going to say, where's the bodies?

No, but your hearing goes down, right?

I don't think so. Well, you're hearing definitely goes down if you hear loud things.

Yeah.

So. But if you have it low, you know, at a reasonable level and you have it in your ear, the real question is, what's the electrical shit doing to your head? Oh, what's the EMF frequency doing to your head?

Yeah. Who the hell knows?

I'm gonna see what happens. I like headphones.

Well, they've been saying it.

They say that plug in ones are better than the wireless plugin ones are. Okay.

I can't live with that.

Where are the bodies?

They're the best.

They're so good.

Right in your pocket.

Yeah, but saying cell phone gives you cancer the balls for years, all that.

Yeah. I talked to some dude who had ball cancer and he told me that he got ball cancer on his right ball because that's where he kept his phone. We're just looking at each other. I'm like, I'm not sure if that's real.

Was that Lance Armstrong?

That was a regular dude. A normal man, I would imagine. Lance Armstrong. I mean, if just. I'm not a doctor, obviously, but if you spend that much time with your nuts getting smashed by your whole body while you're pumping your legs up and down, that's got to be irritating. And if you're not. Hurts. And your Lance Armstrong, you're going to keep pumping.

Yeah, yeah.

You're going to keep pumping.

The, the, the roids or whatever. Who knows?

I don't think. I think it's more of. Well, I bet it's a bunch of. I bet it's a bunch of. I bet it's the amount of time on a, on a bike. Yeah, right. That's got to be brutal.

Stay off those things.

Yeah. Stay away.

I got peloton.

I was like, I'll do it twice again.

I'm not a doctor, but for a regular dryer. Laundry for a regular person. Like how? Let's, let's ask, let's find this out. Let's Google. Is there a higher rate of testicular cancer among cyclists?

It's like CTE of the sack. You're just constantly pressuring it.

Yeah. You're getting hammered. Your balls.

Freak out one day and hit your wife.

Your ball. Just kill a cop.

You're going to make retarded kids with it. It's bad spot, bro.

Your balls are getting smashed like all day on a hard seat. It's not even a comfortable seat.

No.

Remember those seats we have when we were kids with like the back to it?

Oh, yeah. You remember that already. Running a hula hoop down the street with a stick.

Since. Okay. Does cycling increase risk for testicular or prostate cancer? Good. I'm not, I'm not alone in my concern.

Yeah, so it says.

Professional cyclist. Number of studies have looked into the link. The findings to date are inconclusive. There's a Question comes up often. Well, the thing is, it's like, how many of those dudes are like, yeah.

How many dive.

How many are getting cancer compared to, like, regular people? Just give me the data.

Google that. The amount of activity they're doing also, like, counteracts cancer stuff.

Right, right, of course, of course. That makes sense.

Plenty of vitamin D. Maybe it does.

Up until a point. Like. Like Tour de France. Like, I read an article where they were explaining and a doctor actually told me that he said, this is true. You're better off doing the Tour de France on steroids. Of course, it's actually healthier for you to do it on steroids.

What?

I said, how? And he said, because it's so hard, your body gets destroyed in a regular immune system, a regular endocrine system. Just can't keep up. Just can't keep up. You almost, almost need blood doping. You almost need epo. You almost need steroids.

Damn. The problem is the guys in on the street dressed as Lance Armstrong who think they own the road.

Oh, yeah. Problem. They take over the whole lane and they're going five miles an hour.

Shorts.

Yeah, the shorts. The pointy helmet.

Shut up.

Well, the thing is, when they get a group of them together and they act like a gang and they take over the whole lane, the guys go to the side. I'll be real kick patient and I'll.

Yeah.

You know, but I want to go to work. I have stuff to do and I.

Could kill you so easily. Distance cycling is the most. Our highest rated. Endurance.

Soccer's got to be up at 8. Okay, 8.

Boxing's 8.6. Interesting. Depends on who you're boxing.

Swimming.

Wow. I don't know. How are they proving that? Because where's wrestling? Yeah, where's wrestling? If you don't think wrestling is in the top, you're out of your mind. It's way down there. Off.

What is it getting your skin. Endurance.

Listen to me. Off. Basketball is ahead of wrestling. Off.

They play longer.

Shut your dirty mouth.

And American football should be up there.

That's. Yes.

Too many breaks.

There's a lot.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if there's a break.

Grueling soccer for sure.

Soccer. Soccer for cardio Fitness.

Never stop.

Yeah, Never.

You do stop. They walk around.

No one's punching you in the body. Yeah, okay.

Water pole.

Way harder than those. Way harder. Because you're getting endurance while you're getting pummeled.

I see.

And then wrestling a guy is clinching up with you 100% of the time.

Have you tried to. Have you. You just wrestle? We wrestle sometimes.

No homo. It is so hard to do. And Olympic wrestling, like, those guys are the fittest athletes on earth. They're animals, those guys. Their strength and conditioning routine is fucking crazy. When Daniel Cormier was telling me about this Russian dude that he could not beat, he's like, we're so lucky this guy never fought. He goes, because if I forget the dude's name, like, Ramzat. Some crazy ass name. He said his strength and conditioning coach, he couldn't break him. He just kept giving him more shit to do, and he wanted more. He was like, what? Fuck, man. He goes, I was trying to break him. He goes, he used Daniel Cormier's routine. He just kept adding things. And this dude just wanted to keep doing more. He said he would have beaten all of us. He said we would never been successful. This guy fought in the ufc.

He needs a junta to overthrow.

See if you can find who that guy's name is. But he's animal.

Who's that new guy beat O'Malley. That guy's pretty vicious.

Oh, Murab Duomb. He's fighting this weekend against the toughest guy he's ever faced. He's fighting Umar Nurmagomedov. Umar is Khabib's cousin and he's a fucking savage.

Yeah, he's.

But he's different than Khabib in that he's a striker. Like, he's got wicked wrestling and wicked submissions, but he started off as a kickboxer. His fucking kicks are nasty.

I want to know who kicked Khabib off that plane.

Wait, what?

Crazy? Isn't that crazy?

I don't know what happened.

Some lady came up to Khabib when he was on the flight because he was in the escape row, whatever it is he was on. What airline was it? It wasn't Alaska.

It wasn't Alaska, okay?

No, it was something frontier. So she. There's a video of it. It's crazy. He's telling her, you know, I can do this. I'll. I'm by the state. Like, I understand English. I could speak English. And they kick him off the plane.

Because he couldn't do the exit row thing, bro.

It's crazy. The verbal response, why is he flying.

Front lady comes to me with questions.

Very rude.

From the very beginning. He's saving up his money, man. That's why he's not fighting anymore. He doesn't give a. He doesn't care, man. The guy drives a Toyota.

Oh.

Even Though I speak very decent English and can understand everything and agreed to assist, she still insists on removing me from my seat. What was the base for that? Racial, national or other one? I'm not sure. But after two minutes of conversation, she called security and I was deep. Plane from this aircraft. After 1.5 hours, I boarded another airline. One and left to my destination. I did my best to stay calm and respectful, as you could see in the video. But those crew members could do better next time and just be nice with clients.

Pretty calm.

Yeah, Very calm.

Way to say he had to work so hard with the English on that tweet.

Yeah.

Just to be like, I can't.

I wish I was on that plane. I wish I was on that.

Maybe she was just a Connor fan.

Maybe she thinks Jon Jones is the goat.

Yeah.

She's like, off. I'm a Jon Jones fan. Those are the goat talk between those two.

It's weird when these super mercenary killers just can't win. He's like, I gotta just get off the plane.

I can't beat you up.

Yeah. Meanwhile, he can beat up everybody on the planet.

It's really crazy when you.

When you watch it remove the whole plane.

Yeah. You can play it if you want.

Wouldn't you just switch sweets to somebody?

Damn.

She's saying they're not comfortable. What?

He should have just started swinging. You know, too bad she's not trans.

I'm not going to do this back and forth. I will call a supervisor.

You can either. Wow.

I don't get it.

We can go ahead and escort you off the plane.

This is crazy.

Okay, I'll call a supervisor, and then we're gonna have to reboot.

I mean, didn't Mike Tyson hit a guy on a plane?

Yeah, but that's a different situation. Was a drunk guy. That was with Mike Tyson.

He deserves.

At this point, he's like, yeah, call supervisor. He'll have my side on this.

Well, not only that, he was calm and respectful. He obviously speaks English and he knew. Yeah. He said, I'll assist. I'll open the door.

Fucking white ladies.

It's. People are crazy.

I sit in that fucking row. They put fucking slobs in that row.

Would you love to be on that flight? Go. Ma'am, do you know who that is?

Yeah.

Like, do you know who that is? Like, just let me tell you who that is. Let me Google him real quick.

He's the eagle.

Yeah. Jesus Christ.

The only reason he's not killing you right now is because he's not in his own Country.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Imagine if she did that in Dagestan. They throw in a hole. They got a hole just for liberal ladies.

So weird.

Pile them up.

Honestly, we're laughing. They probably got a couple holes.

That's a nice hole, bro.

If you live in a place where war was recent. They don't. There's no room for horseshit. You know, if you go to those Chechnya type places, like, there's no room for horseshit.

No.

No room for horseshit. They're going old school. They kill gay guys. They do wild. Yeah, they do wild.

I think it's illegal to be gay.

Yeah.

There's countries where it's illegal to be gay. They'll kill you.

Paradise.

Was it.

Why are you gay?

But you know what's crazy? Why are you? Okay.

You are transgender.

Legit. Had a question, didn't understand it. This makes no sense.

Who says I am gay? Gay.

You are gay. You are.

It's weird. Of Khabib. Just at an airport. He's had a car.

Gay rights activist. Mr. Should I call you Mr. Pe. Julian Onzima.

Thank you for coming in.

Thank you for.

Good morning. Morning to you.

Why are you gay?

Says I'm gay. What?

You are gay.

Is that Karen Bass?

Gender. You are transgender and you're gay rights activist and an outspoken lesbian homosexual. How can I describe you now? We're looking at a raging debate. I mean, it's a raging debate.

He's right to be.

This is going to sound gay to me. That's actually like an impressive activist.

Should someone be gay?

The lady.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, she's in a country where people are like, what the wrong with you? She's like, we're just trying to get some rights.

Yeah. She's not tweeting about it. She's going there.

It just shows you, like Uganda. You can. You can complain all you want about America.

She's gonna be gone there. They're gonna throw her off a building.

Yeah. Literally. Yeah. There's parts of this world. What I was saying about places where, you know you can't be gay, like heavily Muslim places. My friend Evan, the black rifle coffee guy, you just met him the other day. Evan Hair. He was telling me a story on the podcast about how many guys over there. Kids. Afghanistan. He said it's unbelievable, but it's not gay.

We were just having this conversation.

Boys, Boys and girls. Girls get married off when they're like nine years old. 80 year old men. It's crazy.

Oh, that's in the Quran.

You're looking at a part of the world that, like, never went through the Enlightenment. You know, you're looking at a part of the world that's been war torn and, like, sort of separate from. They're like old school people. This is like a. A window into the past.

Oh, yeah.

You can look at it in 20, 25, and it's a window to probably how the whole world behaved a thousand years ago.

Why aren't more people mad at that?

Yeah, they didn't.

Why do we get yelled at for saying homo or whatever?

They're not. They don't publicize it. So it's not something that gets discussed until someone comes on a podcast and talks about it or you go serve over there overseas. Most guys don't know.

Yeah.

My friends who've gone there and experienced it say it's. It fucking truly curdles your blood.

They just all have their boys all.

All over the place. Open, open everywhere.

So to them, they're like Leonardo can.

They're not anything.

They're doing videos of this boy. Titanic is number one film. There's videos of boys, like, dancing for old men, like, sticking their ass out and twerking for old men. It's crazy. They film it.

Whoa. See? Did he. We hold him to the fire.

He's just Muslim.

That's just normal.

Jeffrey Epstein.

It's not even regular. But it's not like regular Muslim. It's like there's something ancient about what that is. 100% Islam's not middle East.

Yeah.

It's just this part of the world.

Is f. It's not my dick. Dave Chappelle is Muslim, right? Yes. That. That area.

How do you. How can you be Muslim and drink, though?

You can be.

Good question.

Can you be Jew and not throw your pan on the water?

Yeah. You're just not the best Jew. You also. You gossip. You're still Christian, bro.

The biggest tunnel.

Yeah.

Borat song. Throw the Jew down the well.

Yeah.

It's a catchy song.

You must grab him by his horns.

Oh, my God.

The running of the Jew was such a great opening.

He came back and did a. A one like years later. He took a long time off of Borat. Let it kind of go away, you know, So a bunch of people don't know what it is. And then he pulled it off again.

Yeah, he did a Bruno one.

Bruno was the funniest thing, dude.

Is that right? Because that one bombed. I think they.

Yeah, Bruno was hilarious.

It was so funny. Going get.

Love it.

I'll watch on the plane. And cry.

Guys. So courageous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The balls it takes to pull that off and make it that funny.

Although Borat, too. He's kind of shitting on a lot of poor people. And it got weird.

Yeah.

I don't know if you saw that one.

Yeah. But, you know, you take your swings.

Yeah, sure.

Sometimes you connect. Sometimes you're shitting on poor people.

Yeah, I guess so.

It used to be okay to do that. Like, Sam Kinison's best bit was the bit about starving kids in Africa.

Oh, my God, it's so funny.

Walking bit was so good.

Oh, where there's food.

Hey, come here. That's sand. You want to be 100 years from now, sand. We got deserts in America, too. We just don't live in them.

Yeah. George Carlin saw that and was like, that guy's good.

Yeah.

Which gotta be a great feeling because.

He had that preacher thing, you know, he had that preacher thing that he brought to stand up. And it makes you realize, like, God, all these alt guys who get mad at people, like, putting out effort, like, you're being silly. It's the. Whatever's the best way you can get that idea out. And for Kinison, imagine him doing his shit deadpan, like, shut up. Shut the.

Part of it.

It's part of his primal anger.

Same Hedberg being weird. It's like part of delivery.

Yes, right. Same thing.

And the heroin, they asked him Kinnison, like, how come you don't. You make fun of women? You don't make fun of men. He goes, a man has never made me want to drive into a tree.

He died by a drunk driver.

By a drunk.

By a drunk.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Well, I always remember his bits. You know, when I was in high school, one of my friends killed somebody driving drunk.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't good friend of mine, but as a kid I went to high school with, I would say hi to him. Nice guy. He fucked up. He got really drunk one night and he crashed his car and he killed his friend. And so Canison used to have this joke and where he would be like. He goes, we're gonna drink and we're gonna drive, and we're gonna pull it off. You know why? Because we do it every fucking night. But to me, this was like.

That ended well.

This was Kinison when he was doing, like, an impression of Kinison. Like, Kinison is a cautionary tale.

Yeah, yeah.

Because Kinison was the best on Earth for, like, three or four years. The best on Earth. But the partying and the fame and it all went away. If you're a. You're a stand up comedy fan, I implore you. This is what you do. You go listen to Louder Than Hell. It's hard to find because it was so homophobic that Warner Brothers wouldn't sell.

It for a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so homophobic. But please, it's art. Watch that. Listen to that. And then watch his HBO special. They're both fucking great. They're both greats. Two amazing hours. Then watch have you seen me lately? Then watch the one he did after that. They're so bad. Yeah, they're so bad. He's like playing rock and roll music's got a bandana on. He's so fat now. He's so fat. He's like a ball.

He believed his own hype, too. He really bought into it.

It was. He was selling that instead of being Sam Kinison.

Right?

So it's like he got to the dance and then he was selling on Sam Kinison instead of the dance. The insight.

Yeah.

And the comedy was just too much party and too much blow, too much food and drink.

And he had girls on leashes in the beginning. It was silly.

God damn.

Yeah, it all just. It just became so dumb.

Makes you think, does the Middle east love 80s comedy? Just Eddie Murphy like these faggots and.

They'Re like, yes, yes, they probably do.

This is relatable.

Yes, but not if it's boy. Right? Yeah. It's like those. That. Here's the thing about Kinison, though. This is what people have to kind of understand. Until Kinison and Dice come along, no one selling out arenas. This is a new thing.

But did Kinison do arenas?

He did pretty big places because I saw him at Great Woods. Great woods in Mansfield, Massachusetts. Find out what the capacity for that is.

Never heard of Great Woods.

I used to work there.

Oh, is that security?

Yeah, I was a security guard there.

Ralphie opened. Ralphie opened for him once. He won a contest when he was a kid. Wow. He was just starting. He was 17. Won a contest for Sam Kenneston.

Hold on. On.

That's a fact.

Would it be. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Would it be better just not even look it up?

Listen, 19,000. Okay, so he played in 19,000. No, no, that's X Infinity Center. That's different.

Oh, expanded.

Oh, okay. So it used to be 12,000. So that's where I saw him. So I saw him in a 12,000 seater.

That's crazy.

But when I saw him, it was when he was already declining it was the. Or the material was just not. I didn't engage with it at all. Like, the first thing I thought was genius. I saw the HBO thing. I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life. And then when I saw him live, I was like, oh, this is, like. This is missing stuff. It's like, missing. It's not funny. It's missing. It's like, a lot of hype, but it, like, he was just partying, man.

Yeah.

And, you know, he just became bigger than life and then probably didn't have any friends. Ralphie Mary shares a story of Sam Kinison jump starting his career.

There you go.

Wow, that's crazy. So it is true.

Yeah. He said he came in and they were like. They were like, all, like. Like, darted up like they were doing blow, and they're like, hey, you're that kid. Okay, I'll meet you in a second. Like, close the door. We're doing.

Thinking about the numbers. Like, how can Ralphie May. When. What year was Ralphie May? 17. You know, because I was 21 in 88. And so how much. When did Ralphie open up for Sam? It has to be around then, because Sam was dead.

Yeah, in 19.

Sam was dead. And when was he dead, Jamie?

90 something.

91 or 90. I was in New York, so it had to be 92.

92.

Yeah.

Bam.

Yeah, that's about.

So he has to be opening up for him somewhere in the 90s. I didn't know that Ralphie had done comedy that long.

Yeah, he was good. He's a good comic.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was. That's way crushed.

Oh, yeah, the stool.

Such a friendly dude, too.

Yeah.

Such a sweetheart.

Also, he was so fat that he could do the N word.

Yeah.

You got it worse than me.

It's like, big pun.

Yeah.

Everyone's like, you can say it.

I'm gonna take that name.

Well, I think in New York, Puerto Ricans get a pass.

They do.

Yeah.

I think Big Pun. For real?

Dominica.

Yeah.

Wikipedia says he won a contest open for.

Oh, my God.

How could I be right?

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I know this is off topic. Google how much Big Pun weighed when he died.

Oh, no.

You're never gonna guess how big he was.

How much did he buster it.

It was hilarious.

Tell me now.

Just guess.

Oh, I see.

I'm not a good guesser.

420.

Oh, yeah, I guess you. Hey, wait. Can you show a picture of Big Pun?

Yeah, it's better.

I could give you a roundabout. Can you get a picture?

Fat Joe and Big Pun together on the red carpet. It's one of the funniest pictures you've ever seen.

Fat Joe lost weight finally.

How are these guys cool?

Yeah, he lost a lot of weight.

Oh, my God.

That's hilarious.

Damn. Big and Tall killed it.

Okay. His knees have to be screaming in agony.

Which Spider man villains they look like?

Oh, yeah. Kingpin.

Kingpin. Yeah.

Wow.

Damn.

He's got the Doc Ock glass.

Also, when you're that heavy, do you really want that much weight around your neck?

That's nothing at that point.

It's like riding Free Willy at that point.

Okay, numbers.

Wow. So much fabric.

How much you think he weighs?

Five.

The one on the left. I'd say 580, 600, 600 minimum. Big ton.

Check it out.

698.

Yeah. Wow, that looks like a 600 for me.

Yeah, he put one foot on two different scales, and they both went over the. Over the total.

Yeah, bro. And he's so dangerous.

He was like the best. You ever watch him?

No, Big Pun.

Old Big Pun is like, oh, his raps. He was like, the best.

Really?

Phenomenal. Yeah, he's phenomenal. But, yeah, that's actually in a Vinnie Pad song. He says Big Pun was the best. Yeah, yeah.

The Italian boxer.

No, Vinny Paz, the rapper. Oh, you know Vinnie Paz, the rapper from Jedi. Mind Tricks, bro. Yeah, for a second.

So good.

Is he still alive?

Maybe not live. He's probably.

No, bro. He's phenomenal.

Rap live kind of blows.

Got a little help?

It doesn't. It's just a different thing. Yeah, he's a little out of breath, but it's real.

I'd be out of breath. You ever try singing that song?

Pull up Cheesesteaks from Vinnie Pass. You guys never heard of Vinny Pass? He's from Philly.

Yeah, it was a big pun.

You know him?

Yeah, I know of him, bro.

Give me the video for Cheese.

A boxer.

There was a video. There was a boxer from Rhode Island. Yes, but this is. This is a friend of mine.

That's why he likes Big Park.

This guy is good. This one song will turn you into a Vinnie Pass fan.

Look how beautiful Philadelphia is.

It had a moment.

Wait, can you go back?

Pre pandemic.

This is where I called that guy a. And he. He sounds a piece of. Right there. That was the light. I was racing to that light. Because helium's right here.

Yeah.

I was racing to that light and I saw that guy the whole length of that bridge.

Is that the train? That's the 30th Street.

That's 30th, yeah.

This is before tranq.

A knife in my palm Sharper than a sniper Renown, righteous Islam hypocrite to fight to be calm My life is just torn Bipolar, icy and warm My life in a song the reason why the Vikings and gone A bison is born only of God Michael is born the uranium fission secret of the hydrogen bomb the Bible is gone Y'all are watching the Viking perform in the non mill. Loud.

Looks like Pat. No.

Yeah.

It'S Pat Oswal's very violent cousin. Good dude, though.

Wow.

He's really good. That guy's got some bangers, man. He's got some bangers.

Yeah, he's one.

There's, like. There's a few rappers out there that don't get, like, the respect they deserve. That dude has some bangers. He's got some great songs.

Oh, yeah. Was. Is he Puerto Rican?

No, he's Italian.

Oh, he's Italian. Damn.

I think almost entire South Philly might have some other stuff that looks.

That's got South Philly written all over.

Yeah, Philadelphia. Here we go. Giant boxing historian, too. He is comedian Patton Oswald. That's hilarious.

Tyler Durden. It's.

Well, if you wore a fat suit, Vinny would have to wear a fat suit.

There you go.

Which is crazy.

Nailed it. Yeah. A lot of comedians become rappers. That's always a bummer. Tom McCaffrey.

He'S got a band. Band. Saggle is a rapper.

See, Sagala is actually kind of good.

There's a couple out there. It's all words. It's lyrics. You know, it's jokes.

That's so funny.

Lil Wayne has some lyrics where you're like, that is super funny.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Danny Brown.

Danny Brown stuff is fun.

There you go.

Definitely put you out like Hannibal Burris.

The Drake Kendrick beef had some. Very funny.

Yeah.

Yes.

Drake said to Ken, he's like, is it when you put your hands on your woman, is it self defense because she's bigger than you? Very funny. He made fun of me being tiny the whole time. Called him pedophile and kind of. Yeah.

What are you doing, man?

Take it easy.

Slow down, boys. Jesus.

Drake.

One that escalated.

I stand by it.

The best was the whatever. The original, like, dis wrap from what's his name that Kanye put him onto. He's like, you. You have a child you do not take care of.

Oh, what's his name?

Out the snakes push a T. God damn, that went hard. Not the best song.

Yeah, I don't know it.

None of these diss tracks. You can really, like, dance.

You could with. Well, yeah. You can't. That's why Kendricks was so good, because he made it. He made it like a pop.

Well, the number one. The number one was Nas and Jason.

Yeah, bro.

Which song Jayz called Ether and up. He got the greatest lyricist of all time angry at him. And he wrote a song where he cooked Jay Z for like five minutes. He cooks him.

It's like. And sometimes rapping. He's just talking. He's like, you're an ugly.

Yeah, bro.

He is ugly. That's how it starts. All right, all right.

What's up?

Why don't we play a little bit of it? It. Let's play a bit of it.

The beginning's hilarious.

Can we. Are we going to lose the rights to YouTube?

Yeah, we'll probably have.

What's that up, guys? Hey, yo, I know you ain't talking ether.

Give me L. He went a hardcore Christian.

It starts off with gunshot. I know you ain't talking about me, dog. Oh, Jay Z, you been on my dick. You with your soul like ether teach you the king. You Know you Johnson across the belly.

I prove you lost the Brace yourself.

For the main event Y'all impatiently waiting it's like a AIDS test.

What's the results?

Not positive. Who's the best pop knozzin big Ain't no best. East, west, north, South, Flor style greetings I embrace y'all with napalm Blows up no guts left chest face gone how can I be garbage? Send me autos at your cartage burner at the side of your dome Come out of my throne I got this lock sense Nod one, I am the.

Truth I can't keep up with these blacks.

I can't so quick.

Trying to hear it, but it's.

I listen to a rap song, like, 10 times.

Me, too. I'm an old honky.

I got to see it written.

Yeah.

I can't follow along.

I'd like to see it written.

A lot of lyrics. I'm just like, I. I got to see it on paper.

It's actually what I want to start doing. I was watching.

You got to see it on paper. Missing half the thing.

You miss one line, then you miss another line.

You ever watch, like, black guys hear white music for the first time?

I love that.

I might do that with you guys. Let's just let you listen to rap. And you guys both go, what?

Have you ever seen the YouTube channel? You ever seen the YouTube channel? Tribal people. Tribal people Try.

Yeah.

And they, like, try Kentucky Fried Chicken. Try all these different Sprites.

They get Sprite. They're like.

And then we heard it got demonetized. I think they felt like they were taking advantage of those guys.

Well, we're helping them. We're showing Sprite.

I don't think these guys even know what the fuck YouTube is like. These guys are, like, legit tribal people. He's got some sort of a connect with them. He, like, gives him a bag of rice, and then he's making millions of dollars. I don't know if that's what's happening.

He got the rice.

I would wonder, can we go here? They have some sort of deal with those fellas.

Yeah.

But either way, it's.

I'm sure they trained him.

Some nice beads and blankets.

Channel. It's fun watching people that have never experienced, like, American culture. Try a Ding Dong.

You ever see you fat black chicks try Jewish food?

No.

What? They just try.

They try, like, Matt, like, oh, not bad. Good cracker.

Oh, no, I got a good one. You want to. You guys want to hear my impression of Frank Sinatra giving tribal people rice?

Sure.

That's Rice.

I like it.

Oh, my God. It's so corny.

It's not bad.

Matt R. Oh, my God.

You're doing Norman before, but you, like, set it up and everything. That was beautiful. You, like, created the environment for a Norman.

Yep.

I wanted to hear it. I was.

I was on board.

Like, you created.

You created an environment for it. You didn't just do it. Norman. So Norman's like a response. Like, you made room and then you made your own Norman.

Have you seen Matt Rice? He's the Asian comic doing arenas.

Oh, yeah.

He's doing only cloud work.

I heard he got his jaw done.

Cloud work.

Thank you.

Matt Rice. Matt Rice.

Where you from?

Oh, no.

You get out of neighborhood, you must buy something.

I bet you want my dick.

You want water.

I don't get out.

All right. This is living, boy. You're about to get an influx in Texas with the fires. It's about to get a triple ton of people here.

Listen, I bet we can get more comments, comics.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Somebody lost their home.

I'm looking at new spaces. I'm looking at new things.

Well, Whitney's about to have no homes.

She was thinking about Texas anyway.

She's thinking about Texas anyway. But it was very close to her house.

Her posts are getting a little unhinged. Well, she's got to get over here.

First of all. She's already unhinged in the middle of a war zone. Like, you got illegals lighting fires that are causing $150 billion worth of damage. If they. If someone dropped a bomb on the Palisades, it wouldn't have done as much damage. True, except it would have killed more people. Yeah, but if they evacuated the area because they knew a bomb was gonna hit and they. And the bomb did that, like, that's just like a bomb.

Yeah.

And if there's human beings that lit those fires and caused that to happen, which it seems there are, they. It was literally like they had a bomb. It's just we don't think about it that way because it's not an actual bomb.

Yeah, it's slower.

Free Palisades.

Free Palisade.

It's not even a little out.

Is it going strong?

Going strong.

Oh, it's still going, baby.

They said the. The winds are going to get to 70 miles an hour tonight.

It's weird seeing rich people get. Because they always get away with it because they can have a private jet or private security. You can't have a private fire department.

Well, they actually can. You can't I didn't know that Kanye had one that set up at his house in Calabasas. Yeah, because when I got evacuated in 2018, I know the people in Hidden Hills, which was down the road from me, not too far from where I was living. People in Hidden Hills, where the really rich folks, the celebrities, had private fire departments. So you hire someone to come and protect your home exclusively, die there, go.

Down with the ship crazy, pay homeless guys.

You gotta.

Can't leave my friend Bud. You got nothing to lose.

My friend Bud has never evacuated. He lives in Bell Canyon. I evacuated three times. He does not evacuate. He stays at his house with a garden hose, and he finds it to the bitter end.

That's the one thing I would. I would. I. I can see staying for a hurricane and being like, we're gonna sit.

Here and saved his house.

Yeah.

Really saved his house. Yep. He got a bunch of hoses and he saved his house. He kept the fire hose. The fire destroyed the entire. Like, he lives on the edge of a canyon. The entire canyon was gone. And he saved his house.

Didn't you drive home once where the fire was on one side of the highway and not the other?

One side of the highway for an hour.

You could feel it.

Well, you could see it. It was coming down like snow. Like, the ashes were dropping like snow. And I saw a dead guy. Saw a guy who's trying to run across the road, and he got hit by a car.

Oh, yeah.

I only saw, like, his leg. My friend saw him get hit. Oh, yeah.

Yikes.

I saw him as I was passing. I saw, like, his leg. It's one of those weird memories where it's like, did I just see that? Like, what did I just say? Yeah, like, it took me a while to.

Like, your mind's like, don't let that in.

What did I see?

I saw a guy get his head smushed.

Really?

He's a tow truck driver. He got out on the. To change it, and a truck hit him. And I was like, the first car to drive past, and there was just a guy without a fucking head.

Whoa.

We saw a guy at the Hyatt, the old. The Ondaz, the front pet. Like, we saw it. Just like, you look, and he was, like, there in the air.

No way. Hey, is there a bounce off the.

Under roof, One of the balconies? These have balconies facing sunset.

Was that Brody? All right, cut that.

Son of a. That was where the guy, during the strike, committed suicide.

That's right.

From up there?

Yeah, that's Right.

That's right. Oh, no. You son of a.

You ever seen of Rice and Men?

That is a crazy story. The story of the strike when you realize that at one point in time, they were getting no money.

No money for comedy.

No money.

Leno saved it.

And then they're like, finally, we get $15.

Did Leno save it?

Yeah, he pretended to get hit by a car. And they were like, all right, what are we doing? A guy died. Leno got hit by a car. Let's pay these fuckers for real. Yeah.

I didn't hear.

Pull it up.

Give it a Google Leno. We talked about last time. But another comical injury. He said he got hit by a car.

He's beaten like Rihanna. He's like, half blacked up. Eye patch.

Yeah. He fell down a hill, getting burned a Lit on fire.

Something's up.

He doesn't.

He looks unhealthy.

It's like a woman in the Middle East.

Yeah.

The thing about injuries like that, when you get that old.

Yeah.

Like, they take years off your life, bro.

If you fall down a hill.

Yeah. That's when you have.

Maybe he's dating Nancy Pelosi's attacker.

And he doesn't even drink.

He doesn't drink.

So he's just getting beat up all day long.

He also doesn't do squats. Spots his ankles. Of the resiliency of a Popsicle stick. You know, you take a wrong step and that shit's gonna snap off and you're gonna go for a tumble.

Yeah.

Go for a walk. Instead of.

When you get older. You gotta work out.

You really do.

You might hate it. Yeah. You hate it. Who cares? Just do it so you don't die. Do it so you don't fall in the tub.

Yeah.

You know, like, for real. Like, you got to be able to stop yourself from.

Oh, yeah.

Like, the deceleration. You have to have the ability to.

Do that falling in a tub in a while. Man. I feel like I. Because I haven't stayed in a shitty hotel. When you have to stay in those shitty. They're like, slick.

They are.

Yeah, they're slick. They're angled.

UFC canceled a fight once because the dude was cutting weight in the bathtub and he blacked out and banged his head.

Whoa.

So I finally brought the agreement. Jay Leno getting hit by a car.

By Biff.

Pretend.

Yeah.

Okay.

He faked it.

The two jumped out of the way, but there was a loud thump and Leno crumpled to the pavement. Mannered, freaked out, running inside the club to confess his Sin Leno, for his part, moaning on the ground, dressing Dreeson kneeled next to him, afraid his pals badly hurt. Jake, can you hear me? Jay Leno opened his eyes and winked. So he did do that.

Hey, guys, I got hit by a car.

Leverage.

That guy jumped off the Hyatt. But isn't that crazy to try to hit the store? Realized a half second out.

I heard that guy sucked.

Yeah, for sure.

But that's the problem.

Wait, what?

A guy committed suicide and he sucks? He crosses a comic. Come on.

He goes, I'll. I'll perform. You can't have comics, like, perform. I'll perform for you. You'll be loyal after I'm done. And Mitzi was like, thanks for your service, but, like, we have good lineups now. Yeah. So no. So he jumps off the Hyatt in the air, goes, oh, I'm never gonna hit the store. It didn't even make it to the bell.

He tried to kill himself on the store.

Tried to hit the store and then personally.

9, 11.

That's a dude who doesn't understand physics. Yeah. That's a guy who, like, thinks he could fight.

What a terrible guy who doesn't know.

How far he can jump or do comedy.

I can jump 40 years.

Or do comedy. Right. It's the same mindset. Right?

We all know those guys who bomb, they get off, they're like, hey, good crowd. And you're like, you should be killing yourself.

What are you talking right now?

Yeah, there's a lot of weirdos like that, man. Psychologically ill people.

So the guy didn't get booked, so he tried to jump off a building onto the.

But the thing is, the guy was terrible.

Severe depression.

Even if he was good, that's no reason to kill yourself.

No, it's not. But it's like this whole idea, like, oh, he killed himself for the strike. No, no, he was just nuts.

He was just a crazy.

Just a nutty dude. Wasn't good. There's a.

You're blaming it on that thing.

How many guys, when you started, were just, like, on tilt? Just a little, but they would do real good. Sometimes you're like, maybe. Maybe he's gonna make it. And you're all kind of in the same boat, having sort of similar sets. But there's a few of those guys.

Like, maybe that's almost worse because it keeps them in long enough.

Last month.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what's real weird? When you get an email from one of them fellers, oh, they want to open for you.

I get those.

You're like, hey, you ain't done comedy for a decade.

They make it so uncomfortable, right?

A decade.

You go like, all right, I'm already bringing like an opener. And like, what about an mc? I'm like, oh, and you gotta scramble to find an mc. And they go, fine, I'll just do a guess set.

You're like, no, I hate a guess. I'll just do a guess set and bring a camera crew.

There's no way.

20 minutes and bring one guy.

Bring friends into the green room and hang out all night.

Fun time. The invasion of your privacy just because you're being kind, that's the worst. Says you're a grown up.

It's just some of them are like such pressure. They put emotional. Like, we are still friendly, right?

How do you prey on that?

That's why you have to have like a level of separation. Like an Adam Egan. Get in your life, Adam. He gets a love separation.

Joe Rogan, go. Adam won't let me have you on my show. I'm sorry.

Adam makes the rules. But it's Joe Rogan the way it works. The only way it works is Adam. You know, he. That's what he wanted to get the job.

He's miserable. He's like pulling his hair out. He's crying.

Oh, that's just cuz he's.

I throw the pot in the water.

Gaza.

What kind of prayer do I have to make over the sink?

Has been happy since he stopped eating donuts. Fatim was the best. Fatima.

No, he was dying. He was like dying at one point in time. He's bleeding for some reason.

Talk to him about it. Yeah.

What? Listen, he need to clean period.

Yeah, he was having a period.

There you go.

He's becoming a woman.

I think he had a butt period a lot.

Yeah. Butt period.

Is that a hemorrhoid?

No, I think he was having like internal butt periods.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it wasn't good. He's better now.

He's better.

You know, he's a worry wart. He's a worry guy. You know, he worries about, oh, I don't know.

And he's passed it on to his dog. You ever meet his dog shaking?

That's what happens.

Yeah, we take a drive to the woods just to go and to drive. He's like slobbering. I can't take this. As soon as he's out, he's like, oh, nice woods.

It's the meanest thing I do, but I'm always like, dude, your dog sucks. It's the meanest thing you could say to somebody.

I love them. If a dog's never driven and then you drive it, it like you have to drive them when they're little.

Yeah. Yeah, you did. Couldn't take it like a woman.

Who was it when he got it? Puppy.

No, remember, he would bring it. He brought a falcon and. And it would. It would come into the room and like, hide under the table. You bet. Oh, yeah, that's when it started. I was like, stop bringing this dog around.

Is it a rescue dog?

What kind of dog, Pug?

It's like a Dalmatian.

Cute little dog.

It's named Dice.

It's a great, good dog.

It is a good dog. I feel bad making fun of a guy's dog. Dog.

His dog's named Dice.

Yeah, that's cute. And it's a Dalmatian, so it looks like a Dice.

Oh, I didn't catch it.

Yeah, you've tried that with me too. Your dogs. Your dog sucks. I'm like, I do. Like, that's retarded. Yeah. There's no part of it that's like.

You got a great dog.

Yeah.

Say your dog's awesome.

Very funny, though. Yeah, yeah.

Kills people.

Yes.

And you can't say it about a kid, but you can say it about their dog.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can get away with it.

Your kid sucks. They go, yeah, whatever.

Yeah, yeah. You could say it to a kid.

You can say to some guys. Some guys have just had enough with their sons. Like, enough, enough. He's 26 years old. Get out of my house. You can tell that guy's kid sucks.

Yeah, that's true.

Like, your kid sucks. He goes, right?

Yeah. What? Have you noticed that's a weird thing about today? Like there's a lot of 26 year old dudes living with their parents.

You got that right.

When did you guys leave?

That's 25, 23.

I was 20, 18.

18, out of the house. Not talking about college.

Gone.

Yeah, 20. I was out of the house. I went and they wanted me out of the house. When I was 18.

I went back after college for a year.

Yeah, I mean.

Oh, no, that's hard.

No, it was a good year.

Really?

Yeah, it was nice.

Just drinking with Phil every day.

No, I was just reading and jacking off in the basement. It was great.

The quiet room.

Yeah. My parents were like a priest. You got laundry, some kind of a real job job.

And you didn't. You figured out a way to disobey them back then.

I get on, I get It. I know. I was fighting. That's all I was doing. So I was fighting right out of high school. So, like, I just did. I didn't want to go. This bartender, that's crazy. He's Tom Cruise. Well played.

I'm a cocktail.

So I understand why they wanted me out of the house. Like, you're living an unrealistic life.

That was really good, actually.

Low key.

Great.

Is that like the least impressive skill of all time? Like someone does?

Yeah.

A drink by spitting bottles in the air.

And also whoever wants it, if you see them doing, like, just make the drink.

I just want a drink. Yeah. I don't need a witty bartender.

Right.

You know, if you. You're really that funny, you should go do stand up.

Rude bartenders are there. What do you want? Yeah, yeah, we don't have that. And then they walk away.

What the fuck was that? Yeah, yeah. Especially like, if you're a good tipper. You're like, come on, come on, man. Don't make me not tip you. I want to tip you. Well, I want. I want you to have a good experience here. I don't want this to be bad.

Stand office bartender.

A buck for a beer, though.

Sassy fact.

Can we. Can we get rid of that? You open a beer, cap a buck.

A buck is a max. A buck is too much.

I know, but like, if he's whipping me up, you can't think.

Look how happy is with himself. Shut up, bro.

You can't think that anything you're doing in a bar is like paying for things in a store.

Yes.

You can't think of it that way. You're paying for this experience of being in public. And this dude, this is his job. It's not supposed to be reasonably priced.

I'm okay with $1. When it starts to be like a 12 beer and it's like, no, you don't get 2 bucks for this.

I leave a hundred dollars. Really?

What?

Yeah, I get a beer, I leave a hundred dollars.

Come on.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. I don't care. Are you gonna notice it or is he gonna notice it? Are you gonna notice if you have a hundred dollars? You're not gonna notice $100 from anyone in this room. It's like it doesn't exist.

That's crazy.

He's $100 you don't know exists. You might know a thousand dollars exists. You might know $10,000 exists, but if you look at your bank account, it's a hundred this way or 100 that way. It makes zero difference.

Yeah, that's for one time. We're in bars every night.

That's good point.

700.

Spend a little money.

Yeah, we'd spend eight grand by the end.

The drinks.

Yeah, good. Perfect.

Did you guys get after it last night?

Little bit.

I did. Me and Derosa and met. I got.

You had your show at the Mothership last year.

Yeah, 5:00. Show killer.

Friend of mine. Oh. Oh, you know Lucas, the guy who made our suits? He went to your show last night.

Oh, I love that guy.

David August.

He's a beast.

Yeah, he's the best. He's the best man.

Love that guy.

Or that kill Tony. Sued or sorry to deflect. Sorry.

That needs to back up and play again.

You step on everything like a bad drug dealer.

Yeah, the suit was good.

Mine.

Mine was a little small, and I said, you got bigger.

Hey, was the. Was Vegas better when the ma was running it?

Yeah, right.

Oh, everything was New York. Was.

Yeah.

We got ladies on fire in the train.

Yeah. It seems like New York was a little better when the mob was running it than when the Democrats are. I'm just saying, like, the mob would have done something about the fire in the train.

There was a street in. In the East Village. Where was it? The Hell's Angels. They had their headquarters. They did, like 8th or 10th, and it was the safest block. Yeah, you couldn't do.

No.

Well, that was always the thing about if you lived on Staten island or if you lived out all the cops. Yeah, yeah. Or if you lived where, you know, when what's his face was alive. John Gotti was alive. Like, his neighborhood was super safe. Nobody's. Nobody's breaking into anything.

No. And you get a turkey on Thanksgiving, throwing everybody butterballs out.

Yeah, but at what cost?

I like the turkey thing. They all do the turkey thing and act like they're innocent.

Now, that's a good move.

They go, look, I gave the whole neighborhood tick.

Yeah.

They go, oh, all right, well, then, yeah, the murders. Yeah, we'll forget about them.

How many turkeys? Like, so, let's see. You live in a neighborhood of a hundred thousand people, and you give out free turkeys. How many turkeys you think you're really giving out?

Probably it's a photo op.

Families.

How many turkeys do you have to buy? I think because if you run out, people are gonna get mad, they're gonna talk. I went to John Gotti's turkey thing, and they were out of turkeys by 12:30. 12:30. Where's my turkey? You Dago bastard.

All right, you got off the Jews.

It's all peshy.

Think about it.

Where's my turkey?

The people relying on those. Yeah, crime's been up this year. But I'll tell you what. But might get a free turkey out of this.

Yeah, we're going to eat good here at Thanksgiving.

The protection racket.

Yeah, that's how they get you.

We'll help protect you.

We'll protect you. That's what the United States government's doing. So the entire citizens of the United States. Yeah.

Homeowner tax.

It's protection. We got. You two's got to be careful about China. China wants to steal your data. We got to get rid of the Tick tock. The TikTok is stealing your data. Are we.

Does China want to fight us? Why? Why are we trying to fight China?

Stealing China's data and they're throwing drones over New Jersey. It's a war.

Why are we at war with them? I don't.

We're not the communists.

It's just something they are.

Oh, I thought they were.

I think they're allegedly. But.

Oh, they seem politically.

They appoint their own government.

It's about that money right now.

It's about that money too. It's a weird sort of a merger which makes it very difficult to battle with because you have a dictatorship that's connected to a thriving economy.

Tell me that this TikTok, they're like. They're stealing your data. But is it also all the American companies.

Oh, I'm listening.

What are you, some kind of communist? Whose team are you on?

You know what team are. He's on.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. The he.

I'm on team Green.

You know what? They needed Gigi Ping to visit LA to clean it up in a day.

Yeah.

Isn't that funny?

They could get. They would get it done.

They did it for when China. When they came to San Francisco.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah, that's right.

Did you see Gavin Newsom's latest speech where he was talking about we're gonna.

Get to the bottom of this.

No, about doing something with the land. Have you seen that, Jamie?

Gavin juice.

Jamie, have you seen it?

Did you see Danny Polish of his speech?

No. Danny Polisher.

Just making him say dumb.

Tricks me a lot.

He goes. We put fire art on.

Yeah, that Newsom's a lot.

See if you can find this video because what's really weird is he does like a little dance with his shoulders when he talks about it. So crazy.

Great hair, though.

Listen to this.

Listen to this.

With A myriad of issues. I was just talking to Josh Green, the governor of down in Hawaii, who.

Had some ideas around some land use concerns he has around speculators coming in.

Oh, yeah, I do that when I pee.

We're already working with our willies to. To move those things forward, and we'll.

Be presenting those in a matter of.

Days, not just weeks.

Legal teams.

What does that mean? But look at this. Like, the thing in Hawaii has been a fucking disaster for the people that lost their houses. No one's rebuilt. No one's rebuilt. Right. So he's talking about that and talking to the governor, who's obviously mishandled that.

That it's also like, what's the real answer? It's like, it's.

But hey, what is.

No, no, no. What is this?

I don't know.

What is this?

It's a fun thing. He puts.

What is getting excited about it. Yeah, we're talking about speculation, some land.

It's like a lady.

He's dating somebody new. No, he's pulling somebody.

His excitement for the possibilities that they might acquire some of that land. What does that land become now? How many of these people are going to be able to rebuild? What happens with the Coastal Commission? What happens with all the insurance companies that decided to cancel their fire? Insurance happens with all this is not as simple as anybody thinks any fire would be. Like, you get your insurance money and you rebuild. You don't rebuild somewhere that's bigger than Manhattan. They lost what's larger than Manhattan.

And also insurance is not going to pay.

They're little as possible.

Going to take forever.

How are they going to have the money? How are they going to have $150 billion? But that's the amount of money they require. So was the government going to do it? Is the Biden administration going to step up like they did for Ukraine? They spent $175 million in Ukraine. How much are they going to spend on the Palisades? And if they did it for the Palisades, the Hollywood Hills are going to be like, what the fuck, dude? What about us, right? What about us? What about all these other fires? What about North Carolina? Yes, North Carolina people are waiting in line for hours for propane because they don't have gas. They're trying to stay alive because their fucking heaters need gas.

No propane, no gain. But yeah, you're right. Hey, Katrina, I went through. I was in Katrina, I was in New Orleans. It's the same shit. Yeah.

Were they saving the rich people?

Yeah, yeah. But this is Crazy.

This is way worse.

If they bail out the Palisades. That's crazy. If you don't bail out Maui and it's a year later and you decide you're going to bail out the Palestine. So it kind of stuck. Because all he would have taken is $5 billion and they accidentally paid an extra 6 billion to Ukraine. They're like, don't worry.

Just an accidental 6 billion to help Maui.

Yeah. Rebuild entirely. So for $5 billion, they didn't. Everyone could have got their home back and everything could have been settled and. No, nothing's been done. But yet we keep sending money to these other countries.

Well, how come these countries throw us a buck every now and then? All you're doing is paying their parts. 78 years.

Here's the thing. Even if you are supporting the idea of sending money to Ukraine, I'm not arguing against that. That. I'm saying they accidentally sent 6 billion there and no one cared. And they didn't send 5 billion to Maui.

Right.

And they could have also just get it back. Like, it's not actually. You're not shipping a big thing of money. Just like you're wiring.

I think that's how to do it.

Oh, really? So you can pay cash?

Just buck.

Just.

Just boats. Buckets of money.

We should do it.

Blockbuster cards.

We should buy Greenland Island.

That's right.

Isn't that what Trump's trying to do?

A lot of resources over there once again.

Well, if global warming hits, we got a sweet spot.

I like it.

If global warming really takes off, you.

Know how many people live there? 56k. We can kill them in an hour.

There's only 56, 000 people there.

The whole island.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Give it a good.

What are they like?

I don't know.

Let's hang out. One of those guys.

Their houses are weird.

Like, what do you think they're like.

Like shacks. Colorful.

They probably smell like old hot dogs.

Yeah.

Yeah. The reindeer, they've been.

Yeah. What have they been eating? What kind of like fermented shark meat?

Got to be breeding there.

Oh, easy.

Got to be.

Oh, it's a cute little town, actually.

Yeah.

Nice colorful shacks.

That is adorable.

Where's the bar? Show me the bar. Because it's got to be a bar. Oh, they all good bar or a really bad bar?

Some real fisherman drunks.

I mean, how many times does everybody date everybody else's ex in that town?

Everybody. You just got to get over.

It's like high school. You just got to get over it.

That's not very good.

She's dating him now. Yeah. What do they do for electricity? I fucking. What do they do?

Is it Norway that they have a dating app that won't let you fuck your sister? Or is it Iceland?

Yeah. To know if you're how close to you are true. They tried. They tried giving out the Middle east, and they were. The Middle east, like. No, we like it.

The app's called It's All Relative.

That was a conversation that Gavin McGinnis and I had on the podcast. At one point in time, he was talking to me about the numbers of people that are inbred.

I think it was in the Middle East.

Was he in Palestine or Pakistan?

Palestine's one of them. It's like 41 of them.

Fudge.

Pakistan, definitely. No.

What do you mean?

You guys do some breeds?

What are you talking about?

You breed in Brooklyn, I'll tell you that.

Do they in Brooklyn in breeding?

Oh, yeah. Really bad. There's like, juice.

I looked it up.

Horns instead of two in Israel.

Look up the numbers. You can look it up.

Let's take a look at Brooklyn.

Syria's huge. Syria's huge. Palestine's huge. Afghanistan's huge.

Well, you're deflecting away from Israel.

Israel just magically is not one of them.

Magically. They're all. They're all Europeans that live there.

Inbreeding rates in Israel vary by population group, with the highest rates in the. Say that Arab Bedouin population.

Close to the Bedouin.

But that's the area.

Right.

Israeli area. Arab.

Israeli Arab. Okay, so Jewish population is only 2.3%.

Yeah. The Palestinians, like 40.

Look at that. Israeli Arab population is 25.59%. Not close, but that's a crazy number. But look at the Bedouin population. It's 44%.

Dam.

Wait, what's. What's 25.9?

Look at that 44%, which is high and has resulted in a high prevalence of genetic disorders and infant mortality.

And don't you love.

This is what I love about AI. It has to tell you sometimes. Yeah. Before they catch it. When you ask it questions like this on a giant podcast, before they catch it. Like, it gets out.

There it goes. Yeah.

And the AI just tells you both ways. Okay. Everybody's like, oh, my God, like, what? What did they say? We didn't say. We read something off the AI. That's what we did. We're talking about real data.

Oh, yeah, but that's the thing.

It's like people that live in liberal areas like Silver Lake and the fucking in the East Village, they don't realize that there's parts of the world that are really, really, really fucked up right now. Really fucked up. And you can't make this place like that place because you won't survive with your blue hair. You won't survive with your fucking nose post that makes you interested thing. That stupid bull ring you have in your nose. You're not going to survive.

That's what these. All the people get kicked out of their neighborhoods.

Yeah, you're not going to survive. They. Them pronouns. They're throwing you off a roof. Throwing off a roof. It's so.

It's like the rich kid who's like you, mom, but you got it made, kid going downstairs. Meanwhile, the migrant kids like, I love you, dad, don't leave.

I think we need to take an opposite approach in this country. Instead of like letting all the the up people in, what we need to do is like spread the good. Like buy all the other countries like slowly, like Greenland. Start with Greenland. Then we buy Mexico. Guatemala is probably for sale.

Find all their doctors, bring them in.

You know, he wants to take over the Panama Canal. Fantastic. Let's buy Panama. That way you don't have to worry about taking over the Panama Canal. We'll get Elon involved.

I don't mind the canal that was.

Make a new coin.

We built it.

We could sell a hawk to a coin.

They built it, but we.

We paid.

We made them build it.

Yeah. Did you see the other idea about the Gulf of Mexico? You know, you can't grill drill in the Gulf of Mexico. There's a law.

Is that right?

But here's the thing. Change the name to the Gulf of America. Now you can drill. Yeah.

Is that why he wants to do it?

Yeah.

I thought I heard he wants to change it.

No, he wants to drill an 8th.

Grade level Gulf of America. 5th graders. Idea of like that should be Golf America.

And Canada's a new state, apparently.

It's genius. Trudeau resigned.

Yeah.

I mean, it's. What he's doing is kind of crazy. He's not even in office yet and.

He'S like, it, I'm getting out of. I don't want this fight.

But he's not even in office yet. And the kind the whole world is like shifting all the.

All the social media companies go, you will do it all.

Look at what it. Look at Facebook. Look at Zuckerberg.

He's like MMA fighter now.

Yeah, but they were just doing what the other other people wanted. Whoever's in charge Are like, sure, sure.

Yeah, now go away. Yeah.

And now, okay, sure, we'll do it your own. As long as we can make money, we don't care.

But you're like, are you gonna flip back? If something flips back, keep stealing data.

They'Re gonna flip back.

I think most people found out about it because of the Twitter files. And then the outrage was so high, they were worried about losing in the next election. And I think they realized that probably lost them this election. So when things like that happen and you can. Like, there was a point in time when, during the Obama administration where they were talking about us going to war with Syria. Do you remember that?

10 times.

Yes.

We kept saying no. We said, we gotta overthrow Assad. And they go, America said no. And then they go, actually, we gotta help Assad because of these other people. And America's like, no, we've just done with these.

He made. There was a press conference, and the press conference was so rejected, it was so wildly rejected in the public that the Pentagon shifted course and they decided not to attack Syria. It was like, really?

Yeah, yeah. We had big wars going on. They're like, the country was like, we're not doing this one.

And obviously I have a cursory understanding of the entire conflict. I have very small understanding of the conflict. But the reality is, like, if things get too rejected, if too many people, like, fuck this.

Yeah.

Well, I think that's probably what happened with all this Twitter shit. When they got those Twitter files and they found out that the FBI was suppressing real information. And then they found out that, you know, when Zuckerberg was on here and he was talking about the laptop and they were telling him it's Russian disinformation. And they were telling them to. They told them to remove that meme, you know, that meme of Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at a television screen in 10 years, like, did you take the COVID vaccine? If so, you may be eligible for a class action lawsuit. And it's like. It's like Leonardo DiCaprio from Once Upon a Time Time. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a classic.

Take that one down.

They asked him to take out.

Clearly not really.

Do you know the meme? Do you have it, Jamie? Because I have it on my phone. It's great meme, by the way.

How about Trump and Obiden having a full on Obama?

Yeah.

What did I say?

How wild.

Yeah, you're right. Obama the black.

How wild was that to watch, though?

It is a little disappointing, though, because both those Guys benefit so much on every American, on both those sides, hating each other.

I know.

And then you see them together, and they're like, we got.

You know what it's like, just like.

Clinton, Trump at the old parties. Like, they're all just friend. They eat at the same dining hall.

Yeah. They're all pieces of.

Well, you know what it's like. It's like when guys fight and then the fight's over and they talked so much about each other before the fight.

Then they hugged, and they hug it out. They're all emotional.

That's what it's like.

It's like they're not fighting.

They're talking about, yeah, we're professional.

This is like, the other guy's like, this is Hitler, and I need to have a revolution to fight him.

And then, hi.

Then you get done. You go, hey, you see this?

It's so fake.

He was saying that neo Nazis and.

White nationalists were very fine people.

Remember that?

Yeah.

He's like, I had to say it. I get it. I get it. You had to say it. Yeah. They just sit down and they work it out.

But meanwhile, the rest of us, my, you know, your neighbor has a science is real flag.

Yeah.

You know, Black Lives Matter putting out there.

Yeah. It's causing division.

And you have a. Yeah.

Joy division.

Well, it just makes you realize this is the reason why culture exist, because it's really easy to shift someone's opinion about things. It's really easy. Most people are really weak.

Yeah. They're also all looking at the fringes of each side. So, like, the shit they're complaining about, like, 90% of the people on that side doesn't. They're like, yeah, we agree with you.

Yeah, 90%. Yeah. It's nuts. It's just weird that it works so well.

It really does work. And people back at their whole personality, their whole identity, and then if you push back, they hate you.

He's Hitler, and I'll sit next to him at Carter's funeral and laugh, joke around together.

Meanwhile, Biden's asleep. You see him fall asleep. Sleep. Fell asleep. Fully fell asleep.

There was a picture of, like, three.

Or four of them.

But my favorite part was when Kamala Harris shows up. And she stink eyes. Both of them. Yeah, she stink eyes Trump and Obama. And then sits down and doesn't say hi or shake their hands nice. And then looks over and sees that Biden or that Obama and Trump are talking to each other, and she goes like this.

She's like, yeah, I won't go over.

And she's with her husband. Her husband's name.

That's like when Shane was talking to Chappelle, to Louis. And people like, I gotta be nice to you now.

Bill Clinton was there too. He was checking out Kamala. He's like, hey, nice rump in that pantsuit. You are half black.

I'm gonna go out with a bang. Look how angry she is, dude. Look how angry she is. It's unbelievable. I mean, it's like, look at Obama and Trump. Just no one looks at each other.

You sit next to him.

Yeah. That's what she said. Guided him over. He has to sit where the. She tells him to.

He's the white Chris Brown.

And look, they're looking at each other.

Look at Trump.

He's just holding it together. I want to be on what she's on right now. Look at. She's so happy right now. She's seeing elves and.

But she knows she's jewels.

She's got the handmaid on Milana.

Melania's like, I can't believe I have to be first lady once again, man.

Jimmy Carter, that Fentanyl, it'll get you.

Yeah. 100. He made it to 100, though.

That's true.

Kamala knows she's on camera, so she's got to act more pissy.

But look at them just, too.

Look at the honker on that guy in the back. Jesus.

She's got to be able to hear them. That's a big.

Yeah.

That's a lobbyist.

Yeah.

What if Trump is just going by his beak?

Meanwhile, he's right near Pence.

I think Hillary doesn't like it.

I think he shook hands with Pence.

Damn.

Which is why who did?

Trump.

Yeah. Pence, like, literally called him Hitler. Oh, almost.

That was his vice president.

Like, what did Pence say? What? It was, like, the worst thing Pence said about. But Pence definitely said he shouldn't be president.

Yeah.

And then he won again. And Pence. That's a shot.

Yeah.

Shut up. You got to shut the up, and you got to shake his hands.

You lost deal with.

I saw Pence announce. I was watching the news live when Pence announced his presidency. It was great.

Really?

It's like on Hannity. He was a guest on Sean Hannity.

Yeah.

They did it. Like, he was about to announce, and they're like, we gotta take a commercial break. Then he comes on. He's like, I'm gonna run for president. There's, like, 12 people on bleachers. Like, bro, you got. You lost numbers.

I Can't.

Did you ever see the conversation he had with Tucker? Tucker, when Tucker was talking about the problems that America has, and he said, that's not my concern. Did you ever see that?

It was. I've seen it. And I, I, I feel for pence on this one. That was, it seemed like a misstep.

Oh, it was.

He just said the wrong. He phrased it wrong. Yeah, but it's the worst thing you could possibly say.

This is what he did. He reacted to an attack. So the attack was on him.

Yeah.

So his reaction, because he's a guy who likes to be in power. That's not my concern. Like, his reaction is to shut you down, people. So he said, it's not my concern. That's not my concern. Like, he's, he's trying to shut him down, but he's doing in a stupid way.

Yeah.

He's trying to exert his authority. I was the vice president. Let me tell you how it works. Yeah, that's not my concern. My concern is Shit. After he said it, he probably was like, shit.

He's too religious, that guy. Yeah. He was obsessed with no abortion. And, you know, he got made fun of my wife.

I do. I don't mind that. That's a nice.

What?

He was like, I'm not going to dinner with a lady unless my wife's there. And everyone was like, what are you, sexist? It's like, no, that's a. Yeah.

Somewhat valid elevator with one.

Especially in his business.

Yeah.

I mean, his business. They're. They're sneaking in all the time.

My doctor needs a female nurse in there with them.

Yeah.

So, like, they're sneaking in people to try to. Like, they have Chinese ladies, ladies who are banging these dudes, and they turn out to be fire. How quick?

Yeah, yeah.

They turn out to be.

How would you not. You get a nine and a half on an elevator with you, and all of a sudden she's just on her knees and you're like, oh, we're doing it.

Nine and a half. Because they don't believe them.

Yeah.

You send in a six with cocaine. Cute.

Seven. Yeah.

A six. Who's got some cocaine? Some pouty lips. Immediately, I think they're all freaks. And I think it's, it's just slow to be revealed because they're all, like, guilty of it. Like, when you hear a guy like Clinton get busted or jfk, like, this is not a normal. I mean, this is a, this is like. It's probably prevalent in the entire group of people when you talk to people that are like congressmen. You talk to people that are honest. Like, look, there's a lot of freaks. There's a lot of people that are partying.

Yeah.

Doing wild. Doing wild. They were doing showbiz type. But they were presidential candidates.

Especially if you get that big. Like I never got the chance to do this.

Finally at Bohemia.

Dork my whole life.

Yeah. Gorbachev stains. Probably couldn't wait to get some clam.

There's a dude in a dress and he weighs a hundred pounds and you're just gonna get him to suck your dick. You don't know that.

Fire it up.

That mirror on the wall is a two way one. There's a camera on the other side.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the way.

Laughing, watching.

Oh, yeah, that's true.

We got him. Look at that shriveled up thing.

The oral office.

And it's all at Diddy's mansion. It got burnt to the ground.

That's true. The baby oil goes up.

The baby oil? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's an accelerant.

Started the fires in California.

Probably. It's probably not baby. It's probably lube. And I bet lube burns forever.

Oh, yeah.

I bet lube is like lava grease fire just burns forever.

Just.

It's probably some sort of synthetic shit.

When are we gonna get the real dirt? All I got is a hallway beat up on video.

Right.

But I need, you know, Bieber's crying, J Lo's nervous.

If I had to guess, if I had to guess this, what I would say there's a lot apparently of famous people involved in this. Which means there's a lot of accusers and there's a lot of money that people won't get if these people go down.

Right.

So if you're a lawyer. If you're a lawyer and you're, you know, involved in this whole thing, the move would be like, we could go public with this and this would be the end. That is not our interest.

Yeah.

Our interest in. Is a settlement. And then next thing you know, keep.

Making money off someone or.

Yeah. Who's really good at basketball or someone.

Maybe it's all.

Maybe though it's all someone.

Everyone left the parties early. Every time.

It'll be like Epstein, though. It'll. It'll be the same thing. It'll be like nobody ever gets in trouble.

Did you see that prosecutor, though? The guy who said there's some very famous names? And you will be stunned at what.

You'Ll see what on Diddy or Epstein Diddy.

Yeah. My people will not let those names come out.

But here's the thing. If the videos exists, you don't think that somehow this guy's got it in the prostitute?

Never did.

They. But no one talked about the names. And there was a video and it was going to come out. It was like they kept quiet about all of it. They never released the names. They never said there was video. No one confirmed anything. It was all just rumors.

They just wait till he stopped asking and then they, like it went away.

Maxwell just went to jail. For what?

Recruiting.

For what? But recruit for who? For what? For who?

Who was there?

But what'd you do? What happened?

Picked out 15 year olds from high school.

And where'd they go?

I think they.

Who are.

No, no, no, no. Like, if you're gonna put someone in jail, you're gonna put someone in jail. If you're selling. So let's say you're selling cocaine. Yeah, like you sold cocaine. Who'd you sell it to? I sold it to this guy. Okay, well, now that guy's in trouble. That's how it usually goes.

And you find that guy. Who else?

You sell underage prostitutes. You're going to jail for selling underage prostitutes. To who? Who'd you sell them to? Well, that guy gets in trouble, too, automatically.

That's why you kill Epstein.

You blame it all on him.

How good must she be at keeping secrets?

She's pretty good.

We're all surprised. They didn't kill her, right?

Yeah, they, like, barely arrested her. Wasn't she, like, not in jail? She was.

Cabin in New Hampshire. They found her in a cabin. Yeah, she was like an episode of a CBS drama. She was hiding in a cabin in the woods. Like she's on prison break.

Is she still there?

No, she's in jail. She's in jail.

Oh, she is in jail.

But she's in a jail where you get to do yoga, you finger yourself and watch tv. Yeah, it's like. It's a. Like a fruity jail. Like. Like an easy jail.

I wish she'd start a podcast. How great would that be? Great.

I would listen Tales of the Island. Maxwell or whatever.

Put that on Gas Digital.

Yeah.

How have they not killed her?

How have they not? I.

She's in prison until July 17, 2037.

Oh, that's when they're going to kill her.

Low security federal prison in Tallahassee.

Low security Tallahassee.

That's nice.

It's not bad.

Elon's going drop a rocket ship down in the middle of the prison yard and esc shape with her. He's gonna feed her out. The guards won't be able to do. She's put a force field around a rocket.

About as good as.

Disgusting.

What?

She kept it together late. How old is she?

Moore's on all kinds of Karina. Chrome and cream of chrome.

Whatever it is, she's harvesting these. Do you guys get questions about Hollywood parties, though? I have to tell people, like, I wasn't even. I don't even know anyone who was not invited to those. Yeah, there's levels of Hollywood. It's not all of us in.

Yeah, it's. It's Matt Rife and those guys.

He ain't invited.

He's not even invited.

No, it's high levels.

I got roped into going one to one night with Chappelle. The only time I've ever been, like, a real. Well, it was in. We were at the Comedy Store, and Dave was like, come on, Joe, I gotta go to this party.

How you gonna say no?

And I was like, all right, let's go. So we. We drove my Porsche up into the Hollywood hill. It was like I was seen in a movie.

Like.

Like two comedians, like, having fun, leaving the Comedy Store, driving up to the movie. We're going to Naomi Campbell's house.

Whoa.

Or some guy's house who was having Naomi Campbell's party. And we're on an elevator, like, this little outdoor elevator with Demi Moore and some other lady. And it's an outdoor elevator. Like, you're sitting in, like, a car, like a cart, and it's, like, taking you up the side of the hill. And as we're going up the side of the hill, we look at this. They had a party house. So they had a regular house and a party house.

What?

And the party house was so high up the hill that there was, like, a 50 foot gigantic photo of a naked Naomi Campbell.

Wow.

One of her modeling poses.

Yeah.

And then you go up there and it's like, fucking Lenny Kravitz and all these famous people. Like, just famous everywhere.

Yeah.

It was weird. It was so in. At one point in time, Naomi Campbell, she had a book of all her modeling stuff, and there was so many photographers there. At one point, she just starts posing, like, snapping pictures. So you're at her party and all these cameras are going off and she. She's posing.

You're just watching it all bizarre.

And then me and Dave are hanging out, and Dave goes, man, I never want to be that famous, Dave. I go, I got news for You. You're the most famous person here. He goes, no. I go, yes. Yeah, you're the most famous guy here.

And the most talented.

And we were just. We were both laughing. Lady Kravitz's pretty talented, too. Ah.

In one hit.

Oh, he's got some good. He's got some bangers.

Dave can do a. Do a monolog right there on the floor.

He's got Fly Away. He's got. He's got Fly Away.

That's a nursery rhyme. Also, American Woman was a cover.

I know, but he's got bangers. He's good.

I mean, he's good and he's hot. He's a. I agree.

Chappelle is more talented. But you. No need to be disparaging about Mr. No, no.

I'm just saying, it's just funny. These comedians show up, and they can do a. They can do a couple hours. They got albums. They can do a riffing sesh. You know, crowd works.

She can pose.

She can pose.

She'll be pouty. She can be pouty on command. It takes you a while.

Exactly.

We didn't stay long. Then we left. When we went back to the store, and then we're like, wow, that was so weird. It was like, Eyes Wide Shut party.

I talked to you after that. Yeah, we talked. I think it was that one on the phone. And I was like, are they all, like, rotten? And you're like, yeah, they've gone sour.

As a comic, you go to those parts, you feel like a gargoyle. You know, like, I'm so ugly compared to these beautiful people.

You can't talk to them regular.

No.

Around.

No way.

The thing is, like, if you go and you talk to a bunch of celebrities, the odds are they're going to be more guarded than even regular liberals. Like, you got regular liberals, and then you got celebrity liberals. Like, they have to be careful of every thing they say. If they have a couple drinks in them and you got your phone out and you start recording them saying something crazy, it could ruin their life. Like, what do you think about these immigrants? Isn't it up paying for our veterans? I. You know, some of them are okay, but most of them, yeah, yeah. Next thing you know, it's over.

Oh, they're cooking, too. That's like their chef.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Celebrity take to Twitter, and you're just like, his agents failed him.

Oh, you up?

Yeah.

Well, you get it.

The agent can't watch you 24 7.

They want to keep going to these parties. Yeah. Like a Kimmel type, you know, he's got too.

Those parties suck after a while.

They suck. They suck.

You're like two, and you go, all right, I get it.

No beer pong. No beer pong ever.

No comedians. If you found a comic, if it's Mark Marin at that party, you'd flock to him.

Who's grilling?

I know. I don't like you, dog. You know, it's like one of those.

Who'S a comedian that's doing better than you that you hate right now.

All of us talk about it. Let's talk about it.

Please go public with it.

But, you know, like, if you're. If you're at the airport and you see a comic, like, sick. Yeah. Like, come on, let's talk. Even if you don't like them that much, it's like you like them way better than these regular idiots.

I was hanging out with Jake Johansson once as emceeing and DC Improv. He's a clean guy. And we were talking. We're talking about hookers in Tijuana. And he goes, listen, that's not my world at all. I'd rather be here with you guys talking about that than with my wife's dumb friends talking about Dartmouth.

Oh, you just ratted that boy out.

Sorry.

You just gotta. You gotta fight.

Listen, you don't have to worry about his wife or his wife's dumbfound. His wife.

I've been sitting here waiting for one. I've been waiting.

I got news for you. His wife and their dumb friends are never listening to this podcast. There's zero chance they're listening to Protect Our Parks.

Well, clean comics are always the wildest. You used to clean comic at a party. Fly. Luck to that.

Cosby party.

Yeah. Find Jeff John Heffron and get him some Adirondack.

Ever gotten drunk with Regan? It's wild.

I'm not gonna say anything's an animal.

He just gets drunk. He's not like.

Well, he's a fun guy.

He's having fun to talk to is what he's saying.

No, I know, but I'm saying that it started with Cosby.

You're right.

He one upped everybody.

Well put.

Reagan's not. He's way worse than Cosby, but he's.

A sweetheart of a guy.

He came to my show in Philly in October, and then he came to the bar with us after.

That's so cool.

Super, super nice, man.

He is the man.

DeVito. We're having a sober month, and then he was gonna come in Kansas City. He was like, hey, I got an early show. Can I come hang out? We want to drink. And we're both like, we're drinking, right? Yeah, we're.

Of course.

That's a sick move to go to, like, the theater, the arena there, and then just find out who's at the local club. Club.

He did it to me.

I was like, I'm gonna drink there. It's awesome.

It's awesome. Keep the bar open, and if you.

Find a fun dude who's in town, it's great. It makes the experience of being in town so much better.

And the club is like, yeah, come on in, sir.

I was bombing at the Charlotte Comedy zone. Bombing. There's 12 people there. I'm headlining. It was horrible. And I heard one cackle in the back, and I was like, well, at least I'm killing with that guy. You know, that whole thing. And I get off and it's Regan, and he's like, let's get a drink. And we went out all night.

Make you feel so good.

Huge.

Yeah.

That's hilarious.

It was like 10 years ago.

The late night midnight shows, Those were always death. Yeah, those were always death because people were so hammered by the time they got there and they're half full. But then the club's greedy and they just want to.

Third show on Saturday.

The third show. You're repeating jokes.

You don't remember what the.

You talked about. Did I say that?

You have to have, like, a very set order if you're gonna do two or more shows.

There's too many. Heck, yeah. I did it this last weekend. I was like. Like the last show of the. Of the set, it was just like, no way have I said this. And then you start out as you're laughing. You're like, are you laughing at me?

Yes.

Will you tell me?

Also, it also looks the exact same too. Like, from your perspective. Just a light in your face. You can't really see anyone.

Well, the problem is when you're doing long sets, too. It's like long sets are like a zone you get into. And when you're in the zone, you. You're kind of like, you know, you're kind of like, riding it, right? You're kind of like riding the show.

Which joke do I feel like right now? None of us have scripts.

So it's like you're riding with it. You're around, you're riding with it. That. And so you forget what. Where you are on the ride. Because you're on the ride again.

Yeah.

Is this the first part of the ride. Have I done that bit yet? Oh, my God. My. I'm so out of order.

And it's later in the night, so I've been drinking too. So now you add that to the mix.

Now I'm shitfaced.

Yeah.

Every time we went back to the.

Mothership, I was hoping you forgot about that.

Oh, how could I ever. You threw up behind the stage and went to sleep.

Yeah.

You went to sleep a foot away from your own puke.

The levels you'll allow when you're drunk, it's fine.

This is a good spot.

Yeah, I. I went to the club the next day and I was like, sorry, I puked. They're like, yeah, we know. And some guy's holding a mop. I was like, ah. I set up an edible arrangement.

The edible arrangement was very thoughtful.

Thank you.

It was really nice.

Horrible.

Yeah, sure.

Somebody clean that up.

Yeah. Well, it's fun place to work.

Yeah, it's a great time.

Other than that.

I talked to a.

Found the nook. I found the puke nook.

You feel like if you're going to.

Puke anywhere, you want to go in that little weird closet. That little.

Yeah, right. Where everyone has to stand before they go.

She used to smell. What happens when it goes wrong.

So.

Have you ever had a puke on stage? No, never.

I had to piss on stage one so bad that I had to, like, get Jay to come back up at Bell House. I was like, by five minutes.

I was sick on stage one time, and I was doing a show and it was coming up and I had a swallow. Oh, no.

Whoa.

Yeah. I was like, oh, no.

Yeah, that's terrible.

I swallowed. I got lucky. I pulled out of it and I made it. But I was like, this could be so rough. I might vomit on stage. Because I was. I knew I really should be at home in bed, but I, like, was already out.

What happened? Were you listening to your act?

I did this. I did a second. I did the second set, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna puke. Like, damn. Wow, this is bad. I was doing. Oh, you know that feeling?

Yeah.

You know that feeling? Like if you're reading in a car. Car. Like, if you're in the backseat of the cart and you're reading, you're like, oh, no. Oh, no.

The watery mouth.

The watery mouth.

Yeah. Like, where it's coming up. You're like. Because your body's like. Your body's freaking out. It's like, why is this moving when we're Still.

Yes.

This is crazy. If you don't see the outside and see the line of the road and engage it. That's why people get seasick. Like, why are we moving? And we're still. You must be drunk. You must be. You must have food poison. Listening. Get rid of whatever the in you. Let's get it out now.

We've all had the. On stage where you, like, have a turtle head going. You're really just tightening that rump.

Hey. I feel like it goes away, though. As soon as you get on stage.

You get a little fight or flight. But every now and then, you're just like, oh, I had a crazy meal. I had oysters in the green room. And you're like, oysters.

When you order oysters.

Pull up a photo of me doing my Comedy Central.

Stop bragging.

Half hour a while ago, but I have a. A crazy virus. And I was myself on State, like, gurgling while you were doing the special. My big taping. It was, like, the biggest I'd ever done. Half hour special. Whatever.

Oh, man, I look fat.

I'm sweaty. I had a H. Pylori. You get it from eating ass. Yeah. You consume feces, first of all.

Congratulations.

Thank you. It was a fat.

What was his name? Poor. He said fat. I was like, I got it to get it in quick. It's all about timing.

It was John Panette.

Oh, wow. You do. Holy.

I'm wearing a ton of makeup, but I'm, like, bloated.

You look like a chubby.

I was. I was the same weight I am now, but just that I'm so fat and sick and I'm trying to. Yeah.

So were you sick days before as well?

Yeah, but they're like, we're not changing it. This is when you got to do it. Look at the neck. Everything. I mean, I look like Ralphie Bay.

You actually look cute. You look like you want to pinch your cheeks.

A Rubik's.

Yeah, that's the word. Like, I want to pinch your cheeks.

I don't even know what year ago that is.

Hey, have either one of you guys seen a drone? You guys are east coast, the ones that everybody's complaining about.

They're all over Jersey.

Like, what did you see?

They're, like, the size. They're huge. They're, like, as big as a car, and they're black with a ton of lights on them. Really big as a car. Yeah.

Wow.

I did the Comedy Dojo and Morris Plains, and they're all over Tripoli.

Spider spot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Joey Diaz is There all the time.

Yeah. That's where Joey Diaz has been working out.

There you go.

Joey Diaz is coming back. We're doing a Fight companion for the Sean Strickland Dreckus Duplessis fight.

When's that?

That's in February. February 8th. And Joey's gonna be on Fight Companion?

Hell yeah.

Yeah. Eddie Bravo had to go teach something. He's got something going on. And Brian Cowell's not gonna make it either.

What's he teaching? Teaching English.

Jiu Jitsu.

I thought he was at the community college.

That's one of the best jujitsu coaches on earth.

So funny.

How dare you? He's got a hundred schools.

Yeah.

Eddie Bravo has a hundred Jiu Jitsu schools.

I'm a white belt.

Is that right?

Eddie Bravo. Eddie Bravo. Yeah. He's been running 10 planets since 2003.

How many?

Yeah, yeah.

What color?

21 years.

That's why.

Right.

I'm not listening to anything. Anyone.

I bought Ari a year's worth of Jiu Jitsu for Christmas.

Yeah. Went 30.

He got pretty good. He swept me once. Legitimately swept me. He caught me slipping. I got a little. A little too confident, bro.

You must have. You must have destroyed.

No, I was happy. I did destroy him.

He destroyed me. He was like, good job. You're going to pay for that now. But good job.

I didn't do it extra. I never heard hurt him. I never destroyed you Destroyed. No, I never like, really went full.

Shigeki was the one. There's this like 5 foot 2 Japanese guy, Brown belt at the time. And I made a mistake of getting his back. And then I went and he fought me off. And then he tapped me 34 times in 18 minutes.

Holy.

Good guy.

Yeah.

Super nice guy. But he's an animal.

Shideki.

He's one of those guys like you would never think he's like five, five foot three. You'd never think you'd like. No, I. I'll this guy up. I'm gonna throw this battle for my life with that guy. We would battle to the death to like. It was for my life. Like, it was dangerous.

Chinese.

He was dangerous Japanese.

Japanese.

He catch you in arm bars, transition to a leg lock. He'd be fighting off a choke and like. Woo. You get out of that role. Like, thank you.

That was good.

That was good. That was good.

Damn.

There's a few of those guys that he had. Eddie Bravo had some assassins there. But Ari got pretty good. He got good where he was tapping people. But when you swept me that one time, I was like this.

I got.

And you couldn't take.

He caught me slipping and he exploded. He exploded with a butterfly sweep and he. He got. He snatched an overhook and went right into butterfly sweep. And I. I was going over. I was like, this got me.

And he just makes it. He puts it in your head where you're not even thinking about it. You just go, yeah, that shame, Shane. I got shame for a second. I tapped you once.

What? When? When?

Out there?

No chance.

100.

You don't think I would tap you? We could go to the map.

We had to start. Yeah. We had to start with you on my back sitting down.

You're £700.

If you guys rolled, Ari would get you. You did tap Big Pun. He'll get you.

I got you twice.

Eventually get tired and he would catch in something. You wouldn't know it.

He was more tired than I was.

I was for sure.

Well. Well, he's definitely tired out.

He's old.

But if he just lies there and takes his time.

Wait, you're saying I did not tap you twice with an arm triangle?

With an arm triangle?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

Remember this position? Remember going like this?

Is that when we started with my.

Arm like that first and second time?

No, you were hammered.

Hold on. We had. Every single time. We had to start with him on my back. You made us start with him. Literally. Arms around me on my back.

I made him start with over. Under. From the back. That's what it was. Over. Like. Like an Eddie Bravo tournament. The Eddie Bravo Invitational. When it goes into overtime, you have two positions you can start from. You can start from the back or you can start from Spider Web.

It's an even position.

Yeah, no, it's even. No, no, no, no.

I think I turned around and started punching you for real?

Well, yeah.

And then everyone was like, stop.

You're like, Lewis. You're like, straight from Jiu Jitsu to MMA because you want to.

Well, yeah. I don't know.

You'll be rolling with Lewis.

Let me tell you, if. When Ari was training, he would have got you. It would have you up. No, you're not allowed to punch.

Oh, well, I don't know any of the moves.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, That's. That's.

I mean, I could lay on him and hold his arms down and you did. Yeah.

You got me more than I know.

You will stop before I stop on that.

I'll gas.

Interesting.

Yeah.

One of my early tournaments, I would.

Like you guys to be fully.

We did this.

We did it.

I know, but we should.

And I was killing him.

But we should start from position. No slap hands.

No, just.

Just reflect. I'll kill him on that.

What are we talking. Why are you guys saying this to.

Did I t you twice? Did you get. You riled up?

You tapped me twice?

Yes.

What do you mean that you. Twice.

And then I tried you the third time. You already knew it.

Had you ever done jiu jitsu at all that one day? Nothing? No walking around with your friends rolling around, trying to choke each other?

You did football.

Yeah, I was just.

Hold on a sec. Why are you guys pretending that something happened?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's happening.

No, no, no. It's happening. Nothing. No one. It's not a real tap. It's. It's a tap from an advantageous position. It's like. It's not the same thing.

It literally started with his arm around my neck.

Yeah, he transitioned.

He transitioned that very quickly.

I knew you weren't looking for it.

It was unfortunate.

It was my one move I could do. Okay, stay off.

All right, whatever.

He's cracking up. Another butler.

Let's see what happens.

We can do this.

As soon as we're done, I'll fuck you up. It doesn't change.

Change the fact that it happened.

Let's do it on kill. Tony. You guys go at it. Wow, that could be fun.

This is intense.

We can do this, bro.

I want.

You ever think about getting back to it, Ari? I think about it, but it gets gas. Yeah, but if you just, like, get yourself in a little bit of shape before you do it.

Gotta get on a treadmill. That's a bigger thing.

Well, start doing it.

Just gotta walk to my car.

Once you got in really good shape, when we're doing sober October, you gotten very. You got ripped. You got six back.

Gotta have a reason. Reason.

You are lean now.

Yeah.

Ari had to have a competitive.

When you were gaining weight. I liked Shelby. Ari was nice.

Yeah.

Ari did it with. With Will too. No. Ozempic. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

There's a cheat code now. A lot of people are thin.

Long line of Holocaust survivors.

Dad. His dad's a legit Holocaust survivor. Is that right?

Yeah.

Is your dad going to do the podcast?

He could talk about that.

We talked about it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We kind of went away with co and stuff.

Yeah.

Would you approve of that? That was going to be embarrassing.

The Holocaust. That's right.

No, it's never going to end.

Right.

Oh, no.

I'm stuck. Mentally, I'm stuck on this.

This is awesome. This is awesome. I'm just. Now I'm like, how far can he go?

I mean, the Third Reich was great.

That's pretty good. That's. Reich is great, right? That's right.

Peak. Great coffee.

That's right.

Six million beans.

I was watching. I don't know if. Have I. Jamie, have I played it before? These Scottish guys with Tourette's on here.

Oh, that's great.

It's like my favorite. This is just a fun thing.

Thing. You ever see purple burger alarm, people.

With mental diseases and speaking in different tongues?

I was watching it. First off, Scottish is the funniest possible accent. There's a documentary, I think it was National Geographic a long time ago and I watched it when it came out. Y'all, these guys rule. Hold on. This isn't. This isn't it.

They all dress like you.

Yeah, I know. I went over there, I was like, these are my people. I am Scottish and Irish, obviously. Actually, hold on. We'll find one.

Oh, no, different.

Different one. This is. These are the guys, though.

You're Irish though, right?

Yeah.

Are they gonna yell out? Is that what happens?

They. There's three dudes. Hold on. Jamie, find the one with three dudes, link up and go on a.

Is this like a long documentary and there's like a section of the documentary?

No, no. The whole thing's hilarious. It's just a different video.

Oh, yeah.

If you type in Scottish Tourette's.

But I did that in that documentary. Find a link on your phone and send it to him.

Jamie, let me see it. I mean, obviously the highlights.

I swear, I can't help it.

Hold on. Go to YouTube.

Go to that one. Four minutes. I swear, I can't help it.

Funny. No, hold on.

Funny highlights.

Well, those are also hilarious.

Okay, let me hear this. Here's something. Let me hear something of it. I'm trying my best to hold and hold and chug again. Work is a 10 minute walk away from his home. Oh, my God.

It's never nice to yell.

We feel some kind of harmony. There's one part, though, because the whole point of it is these three guys link up that have it severely, right? And they're like, we're going to go. We're going to start a commune. Or not a commune. We're going to find a place where we can chill out in wilderness. They go to a lake, scream at each other. All they do is they play a game with her. They're trying to hit each other in the nuts with a ball.

Quizzes and stuff. At the center. Something like playing charades. Let me hear a little bit of him talking. One of him figure out. I'm never ever the person that stands up and has to act out what film it is, because I kind of.

Keep it to myself.

Myself.

I'll stand up and I'll say jaws. And I'll go, right, that's my turnover.

I didn't get a word of that.

He said, I can't do charades because I'll just go up there and say the answer. He goes, like, what movies? And he goes up. He goes, jaws.

Gonna crash.

What?

We're gonna crash.

Between England and Ireland.

The border between England and Ireland. Hold on. Holiday. Type in holiday.

I'm a chicken.

These three rule.

Dude doesn't just take around Carol. He constantly ticks around their children.

Hold on. Him ticking around the kids is hilarious.

That's dangerous. I'm thinking there's no flies there.

National Geographic.

It's funny that they swear.

Hold on, Jamie. This is the best part of the whole thing right here. He taps him on the head. Yeah. What? That's so good.

That's good stuff.

It's probably cool that they get to hang out together, though, right? So they don't care. It's like, the only time they could be other people. They should have a podcast. They should.

That would be hilarious.

Try to hit each other in the nuts with a ball.

No defending from behind. That's a weird choice.

They don't have long balls, but they're playing, like, a really serious sad music moment. I thought you guys might enjoy. These guys. These guys rule.

They killed.

Couldn't find the right clip.

They killed it.

That's pretty good.

All right. I already stepped on it.

That's nice.

That's Kike.

That's Kike.

That's the last one.

Oh, man.

I can't believe you guys said, already tired. That's so crazy.

Twice.

Twice.

Norman, I'm certain you don't remember.

I was here.

I remember you jumped on everybody. You jumped on the whole pile of people. Norman did.

You were killing him with an arm bar. Then I jumped on to try to.

Help, but I think I held on way too long. Jujitsu's gay. Fuck you, pussy.

I got a photo.

That's how long my shoulder know.

Well, you wanted to play football. You were trying.

Yeah, I was. I thought. I thought I was doing good with the pushing.

Yeah, but the problem with that is, like, I want you to push me.

Yeah, like, you just pulled me.

Yeah. I'm like, good. I arm dragged you. Like, this is fun.

It was fun. I had a good time.

It was pretty ridiculous until I punched Ari.

That was.

We got all scratched up. Everybody got their knees all scuffed up and their elbows all on a carpet. Yeah. We have mats here. We didn't have to get to the mats.

25 beers, you know, a lobby.

We were too drunk to make it to the mats.

The best point, the best part, though, is you guys are going at it like crazy. And Carl is just like.

That's literally like pretending to drive a car when there's a car right next to you. Right. Like, we were like, nah, we can't make it into the master. That's like 20 steps away.

Yeah, that's too far. When you. A girl in a bathroom, the bed's right there, but you couldn't hold it.

Yeah, but that's fun. Something exciting. Like, let's see what the sink can do.

Yeah. Let that sink.

Sink and hold you. Yep. But if it doesn't, that's a real problem. Right. It breaks.

I've had a few.

That's why I never get up there when a girl takes me to the bathroom. I never jump on the sink.

I pissed in the sink at least a thousand times in my life.

Oh, yeah?

How many times you pissed in the sink?

More often.

Yeah, I pissed in the sink.

There's a lot of people don't like that.

You run the water.

I like it.

They don't need to know it.

I like it.

I piss in the shower every time I get in the shower.

Same.

Of course.

Every time.

I went to.

Oh, yeah, every time.

But I went to. I went to Wells Fargo for you. We went to. They got us to 676ers locker room. All the urinals start up here.

It's crazy. Giant guy.

Yeah. Then John's doctor comes for a visit. He's like, what, the man?

He's white. I think I might be one of those Scottish guys. He's white.

Groundskeeper.

The best thing about pissing the showers, when you don't even acknowledge that you're pissing. Like, you're just washing yourself and peeing at the same time. You let it flow. God. Feels good.

Like.

Like our ancestors used to do. They used to just pee. They didn't hold it in. Why would they hold it in?

But even a dog like Ben's the.

Shower, you're just like, yeah.

Letting it fly.

Peeing in your own backyard feels good. You feel like an American.

Whenever I take my dog out to pee, I pee.

That's nice.

I pee all the time. Out.

That's nice.

That still counts. You only had, like, a half a second delay. It's like the five second rule where you drop food.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that five second rule really helps.

Just think about all the ass that Norman's eating and think about how ridiculous it would be to not eat food off the ground.

Facts.

Yeah.

You got to do it.

Yeah. Eat leftovers at restaurants.

I ate yours when you went to the bathroom.

Why not at breakfast food?

Norma just would see, like, at the cellar, stuff coming back. And he goes, whoa, whoa.

I'm telling you.

Give me that.

It works. This has never not worked for me. You go up to a table that's been sitting there for a while at a restaurant. You go, you want me to clear this out of the way? And they go, oh, please. And you just take their wings.

Wow.

It's never not worked because you just eat their wings. Yeah, it's wings.

But then they find out that you're not working there.

It doesn't matter. They want it out of the way.

Yeah.

They probably watch. That guy just took our wings. He's eating them. Yeah.

They've never questioned it. They just run away.

That's so weird. How many times you done that?

Oh, she's a dozen.

Norman is the biggest Jew I know.

That's so crazy.

Is it because you don't want the food to go to waste or you're hungry?

Both.

Well, you have money.

I had no money back then, but now it's just a rush.

But now you just do it for the goofs.

And I had no food in my house as a kid, and I think it me up also.

It's right there.

It's right there.

When we were at Bonnaroo and he went. Norman went off to hang out, have some fun somewhere, and then came back. There was a staff party. Crawfish boil comes back three hours later. It was like, ah, what a crazy night. Look at all these unhead, like, unused heads just sucking out.

Like Lily Phillips.

Sucking the heads is delicious.

Oh, yeah.

You got to suck the heads.

You got to do it. It's all the flavor.

Prawns, too. You get, like, a big, juicy prawn, and they cook them in garlic and suck the heads.

You've gone from shri prawn. You got elitist.

No, shrimp's great, too. But prawns are different animals.

What's the difference?

They're longer. It's weirder looking. They're kind of cool prawns. They have, like, a long shelly head, whiskers, whatever those things are on that head. And get that brain juice.

I never suck guts.

Brain juice.

I thought it was the same thing.

I did the same thing.

You know when you have peeled shrimp, when you have to peel it, you have to. I don't peel it.

Peanuts.

So you eat ass.

Who doesn't?

Who doesn't eat ass at this point?

I grew up in a time when nobody ate ass.

That's true.

Back in my day, nobody shaved. It was chaos. Harry Butler, porn. That's porn's biggest victory. Porn's biggest victory over culture is shaving of pubic hair.

Here, here.

I just do a joke about it where if aliens came and they were studying the development of the human race, they'd be like, what happened to pubic hair? Like, what happened? There's no documented, like, direction. Nobody told people to do it. It's not a public health concern. Nobody, like, issued some sort of a statement that you should start shaving your pubes. But everybody, when they started seeing porn, they all started shaving their pubes.

Great.

Also kind of taught them how to give head, too.

Yes.

They're getting a little rowdy with the head.

It's ladies.

Due to porn.

When they get a little rowdy and they start gagging because of porn.

Now every girl does that, right?

Hey, hey, hey.

I've used porn to watch how to eat out, Maybe get some tips.

I think they're exaggerating.

I was talking to our friend. Whitney Cummings was explaining.

I never get that reaction.

She didn't know. She was. She was the one. The gagging conversation. She was saying that she went down this guy. She started gagging. He was like, stop, stop. What are you doing?

Yeah.

She was like, yeah, it's overkill.

It's overkill.

Showing your enthusiastic.

I did a joke in my special about that.

Oh.

I've had girls get like, yeah. And I'd be like, this. You're like, don't. Oh, yeah, yeah, Right, Yeah, yeah, right.

That. You want that? Is that.

No, I think that's porn. I think it's porn's fault.

Right, Right.

When girls give a head now, they're.

Like, but isn't it weird? It's because, like, it started out just people having sex. And then once people saw people having sex, they're like, let's kick this up a notch.

Yes, I like that part. Yeah.

Why don't you tie each other up? Why don't you do this? Why don't you do that. You remember that one guy that got arrested? He actually. No, no. He went to jail for. There was something about the way that they. They tried him in Florida. He was famous for, like, horrible stuff. Like, he would open up girls. Buttholes.

Rocco Sifredi.

No, no, no, no, no. He was an American guy.

He had a cowboy hat.

He had a very disgusting style of porn that it was the idea of, like, these things keep accelerating, getting more and more deviant because people get bored. Max.

Hardcore.

So that guy wanted up because they tried him in Florida.

Ass kn.

Like.

That was back. That was back when this typical Buckeye. It's championship week. You guys are at each other's throat.

He a Buckeye J.

He's ready.

Oh, you can't hear it.

Oh, you can't let him do that. You guys have to bet. You have to win your money back that he stole from you at the blackjack.

He stole from me?

That's what I said. The buddy stole from you.

JMO pulled up. That's your job. You have to pull it up.

This week.

I'll. Jamie, pull up.

Pull it up. Can't find it.

Jamie, you.

Jamie got money from Shane. Jamie borrowed money from Shane and didn't give him a cut.

Didn't give me a cut.

Oh, really?

What do you give him a cut of the winning to? You got to give him a gapper. Don't you know what a gapper is, son?

I know a gaper.

Somebody.

No, a gapper, like. So let's say if. If you and. And Shane are playing pool and you're gambling and you don't have any money, you say, can you give me a hundred dollars?

Yeah, of course.

I give you a hundred bucks. You win $300 off of Shane. You throw me 50 bucks. You throw me a capital.

Give me the money.

Give me a little bit. Give me piece. Jamie gave me a piece of the action because you were gonna have to pay me 100 bucks back anyway. So it was like, you know, I gave you the hundred bucks so you can get an action. So even though you really technically only owe me 100 bucks, if you want this to keep happening in the future, you throw me a gapper.

Yeah.

So you throw him 50 bucks.

I do like it.

I do have an important. An important question for the podcast, Jamie. Who's the. Who's the Epstein pedophile that paid for Ohio State's roster this year?

This is information I mentioned to you before, so I don't know that that's even true.

Jamie always takes the establishment position.

Who's the Epstein? Who's the Epstein guy?

Do you want to talk about the Catholic Church? Lexner.

Jamie.

That's his name now. Lex Wexner. What did he do? And why does he pay for your entire roster and most of your campus?

He donates a lot of money to Ohio State.

Yeah, what did he do, though? That's suss.

He's a big businessman. I don't know what he did specifically.

Did he do anything weird? No, I mean, just insinuations. I have no idea what he did.

I don't know either.

Do you want to go on Reddit?

Just Google him, see what he did.

Jeffrey Epstein worked for him.

Jeffrey Epstein worked for the guy who paid for your roster.

Oh, boy. Interesting.

You're gonna get a head coach spazzing on you again.

Well.

Ryan Day can spaz all your want. At least saving is the goat.

Yeah, interesting.

Ryan Day, born on third. Thinks he had a triple. Can talk all the he wants.

Born on third.

Wow. Third, right.

Wow.

Oh, you missed it.

Yes, we got it. No, but if we do bet, we're definitely using the spread.

What's the spread?

We're not going money line on this.

Why?

Is that by 10.

Yeah, but you can't do that.

You already think you're going to lose.

No, you can't ask for a spot.

Well, if we go Moneyline, I'm getting the.

What are you getting read. What?

Shane would be happy if Notre Dame loses by nine.

No, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. You won't bet 50. 50.

Probably not on this one because you're okay. I'll only bet with real so upset.

With you right now.

I'll only bet with real fans like Tony Henchliffe.

Wow.

The true Buckeye fans.

Ouch. We're in Texas gear at the Texas Ohio State game.

This is outrageous.

Is getting crazy.

Where is this game taking place? Pull that up.

It's Atlanta on Monday.

Pull that up. Are you guys going?

I'm definitely going. Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

That'll be fun. I'm able to go.

Bring my father.

Tony's going big.

Phil.

Phil made it to week one and then he had a heart attack. Week two against Northern Illinois. That put him in the grave.

Is he all right?

He's back. He's been. He's been training consistently to get to this game.

Hell yeah.

See, I get +2.80. Why are they favored by Money Line?

Fight Irish.

Money line's ridiculous. If you guys are men, you gamble. Whoa.

Put the money you bet 100 bucks.

He bets 100 bucks.

Oh, yeah. Deal.

J, you're broke.

My house.

Is great.

Amount of money that mattered to him.

How much you do 100 bucks a bar. That Gucci shirt.

Yeah, do 100. 100 bucks.

Whoa. What?

He's getting on your shirt.

Oh, wow.

The shirt.

You took the picture with Trump on my shirt? That photo with you. I sent you guys that the other day. That shirt's nice. That's. You bought that shirt just to go to the fights.

Yeah. Gucci, Versace.

Do you know that? Do you have that shirt? Jamie, we need the photo of that shirt.

I don't know, but he does have a ponytail.

Yeah. JMO's clinging to that hair.

Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie, I sent you the. The Leonardo DiCaprio meme, too, please.

I haven't seen that one.

This is the one that you. You get banned.

All right.

You get banned from Twitter for this one. Or from.

Shane's blurry. He's been drinking.

Trump's pretty tall. Yeah, Trump's a big.

Trump's tall as.

And he's old, so he probably used to be taller.

That's true.

Oh, facts.

It's. Well, Baron's like 8 foot 9 or giant.

Baron. He's.

He's a giant.

He's huge.

He's the one who told him to come on here.

Yeah. Well, and Dana White. And he's probably not done. Dana White's the guy who got him on here legitimately.

Did you hear a loved one take the vaccine? Maybe?

And they took this down.

That's not even fake news. That's in the future idea. It's clearly a joke.

Nothing.

Isn't it crazy, though?

Take that down, Cookie times.

Well, they didn't take it down, I should say. The government told Facebook to take it down is one of the things that Zuckerberg talked about. He's like, what the. We're not going to take down. Humorous memes. This is crazy. And that's when they started bringing him to court and it got. They had to, like, remember?

Yeah, yeah.

And he was drinking water like a lizard. Yeah.

Which I'll give him credit for that.

Because he's freaking out.

The amount of photographers in front of him. You ever see that?

Not just that. Like, he's freaking out. Like, you're. You're literally talking to the government who are thinking about shutting you down.

Yeah. And then that one guy was like, are you worried about the weight of all the data sinking an island?

Jesus Christ.

What? He goes, y something. Megabytes. Oh, my God. No.

Right?

And he Was like, no, I'm not worried about that.

How about dudes were asking him, why.

Am I talking to this guy? Boomers state, do you run?

Weren't dudes asking him, like, Google questions? He runs Facebook. Like, it was. The whole thing was like, so un. Like they were unprepared. Yeah, right. A few of them. But that's the thing about being, like a congressperson. Like, how many of them are like, I don't care.

I just hear about logging.

How many congress people are there?

I have no idea. AOC.

How many, Jamie?

435.

435 Congress people.

That's a lot.

Have you seen that one wacky lady with the crazy glasses from Connecticut? Is that where she from with the blue hair?

Taylor Green?

Was that lady where people were, like, bringing her up because she. She was. Oh, God. I forget what the ridiculous argument she was making about was whenever it was like, who is this crazy lady? Ms. Rachel, not the equity argument, but with these bananas. Glasses on. Like a character who's a hot lady.

Battling the trans in there.

Fancy mates.

She is kind of hot. Yeah.

She's battling the trans.

Well, gladiators with those big Q tips.

She's like, we're done with trans people.

Well, there was a first. The thing is, there was a first openly trans congressperson, and she was saying, that person's not going into the women from.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

And then the tr. And then the. Am I remembering this right? Then the trans lady was like, I just won't. And everyone's like, how dare you?

That's the crazy lady. Look at that lady. Look at that lady.

Oh, that's hilarious.

Look at that lady.

She sits on the plane.

You're like a macaw.

You got to listen to some of the things that she argues. Some of the things she argues is hilarious.

Wow.

She's, like, fully, fully woke, like, with her purple hair. She's like, deep down in the trance, like an art.

Deep nature.

She probably put a mask on the moment she was done. I'm amazing. She doesn't have a mask on when she's up there. I see people with masks on every day.

Yeah.

Still in Tejas100. Every day.

Every day.

Yeah.

I see him every day.

Yeah. You said that. That's so funny.

Killing me. There's an account of this kid that's like, you. We need to be wearing masks.

He'll kill us.

That guy seems really.

Yeah.

He's had five years of remembering to mask up really nutty.

Yikes.

Yeah, well, I mean, there's A lot of people like that. That they cracked. They cracked.

See the video of the guy driving over a Trump sign, Then he got the flat tire.

Yeah, because they put. They put like.

Yeah, they put nails on it.

You see the video? The guy who wired his Trump sign with electricity. So when they run up, they grab and they get zapped.

That's genius.

The guy who ran over it was.

Like, I hate this man.

The wife's like, why'd you run over it?

Yeah.

He blames on that guy.

Yeah.

People are so nice. I saw a video. This lady, she hit and run. This. This other lady, and she's running away, and the lady catches up to her, and she's filming her, and she's screaming, don't you have a heart? I'm broke. And she starts screaming and, like, pulling her out of her glove box. It's all chaos.

You.

You have your heart, like, whoa, yikes. Some people are just cracked.

Yeah, people.

And Trump being president, like, ultra cracked them.

Yeah.

Because they were told that this is going to be the end of all their freedoms. They're gonna get locked up. No one's gonna be trans. They're gonna throw gay people off the roof. Shane's got the glasses on.

I saw Norman. Norman went for it. Let's do it.

I told myself I'd do it at 3pm to get crazy.

I was at a bar with Derosa last night. Matt Edgar. What do I see on top of the shelf behind the bar? Duros like, let's do shots. I'm not doing shots. Love shots.

He loves talking you into it.

And I was like, I will then, though, have a beer the right way. And I looked up behind the thing.

No way.

This thing is up there. You go get me that funnel. And the bartender goes, what funnel? And I'm like, that American flag, that American eagle.

Wash it out.

Bring it.

Give me that.

He didn't.

He didn't let you funnel?

No, he didn't. Wash it out.

I don't want to wash that. He brought it over out there eating ass.

How'd you know that? The bartender's like, how'd you know that? And I'm like, I just know things, bro.

Bro.

I put that on the mat.

Yeah, you better believe I am that eagle. I'd love to see what the sales did with this show on that thing.

Oh, it probably at Freedom Funnel.

Big spike. It had to go through that spike.

That spike.

Do you know how many smells.

I thought we going to talk about the COVID.

This show has been a giant boon to the smelling salts market. That's true. Market has gone through the roof.

Yes.

It barely was around. Nobody cared.

Nobody cared. Now kids are doing it when they work out. You see those videos? Some kid can't lift the bar and they put this.

He's like, wow, it works.

It works.

You see those videos where they're giving them to, like, just strangers? No, they go to, like, Walmart. And they're like, here, try this. And then people are like, is that Fentanyl? What the did you just give me?

That's kind of sad, actually.

I'm okay.

No, sucks.

If Joe wants it, that'd be fun.

I'd like to do it.

Strong one, too. This is a strong. Oh, this is a strong.

I can smell it.

Here.

Good Lord.

What are they?

It's like my ex.

What do they smell like, though?

Jesus, this is strong. Ready? Here we go. God, Burns, Bernie Sanders.

Hey, by the way, how about these parks in la? We're protecting them, huh?

Yeah, they're on fire.

We're here to help.

We have protected them.

I think we got a whiff from here.

Get in there, Norman. Get a big whiff. Come on, man.

It hurts. Oh, that stings. I don't know what you guys enjoy.

Give it to Shane.

Pop you around a clown?

Give it to Shane. Give it to Shane. He's going in. He's going in.

Take it.

Get in there, son. Oh, this is gonna. Hurts so bad. Burns.

Bad nose.

Go goggles.

Golly almighty, get in there. Like a man.

Like a man.

Hold on, I got a little there.

Yeah, yeah.

I can get a big one.

Theo took a huff the other day.

Dab will do you. There you go.

You barely got any.

You, Joe?

I got pink. Wow.

All right. Get that beacon.

If you can see my eyes, you.

Know you got it. I can tell that. Get in there, Ari. Get that schnoz to working.

Yeah.

Is this dangerous at all?

It's kosher.

With that nose, it's kosher.

I checked that guy first.

Kosher.

That guy on that video said it's kosher because I threw it in the ocean.

Remember when we could just do blow?

The old days? God damn. He got.

That was a big one.

Oh, he took it. He took it on the chin. Brian Simpson still has the best reaction. Brian Simpson took his headphones off and ran out of the building.

Pull it up.

Oh, it's like sour.

It's like black people when they laugh or see magic.

Jesus.

Or when they're at Walgreens.

Or see magic.

Lock up the deodorant.

See Magic's playing a Kiltoni's band.

Oh, man, that'll wake you up, man. Yeah, you get a hangover. That'll cure it.

Oh yeah, things way worse.

Watch Brian Simpson here.

Oh, I can't wait.

Oh, man, this is going. The rest of this episode will turn into me smelling stuff.

Bro, this hurts from here.

Oh, man, Joe.

Oh, God. It really is. It's.

Brian has no idea yet.

Work of the devil. Here we go. Get the camera on him.

He didn't even take the headphones off. He just ran away with them on his head.

That's a great, great impression of his dad.

It's still burning.

Got the out of there. N. Brian's the man.

We lost him.

Brian is a man. Brian just did a show with me. He was in Dallas or San Antonio.

That killed W bit is one of the best bits in.

It doesn't get the credit deserved.

It's one of the best bits I've ever heard in my life. Such a good bit. Wet ass. The wet ass song, if it go goes into like the. The England empire and like, it's such.

A good bit long for having a song about wet.

Such a well crafted bit. It's so good. So it's one of those bits where you see. You go. That's a piece of art right there. Yeah, that's a. He takes you on a journey through history and then he ends it with a bang.

With jokes all the way through.

Oh, so you're such a funny guy. He writes, but it's like he's. He effortlessly kills more than anyone I've ever seen in my life. Effortlessly kills.

I think he was high as we did San Antonio's Think. No, but I know I was with my Think.

Was he on stage?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I was. Everybody else is like nervous and then you look over and you see him and he's on stage and he. He's no problem with silence. Just talking.

Yeah, yeah.

Killing like he. Everybody else would get up there and.

Be like, oh, right. No, he's composed. He's composed.

He's great, man.

Such a fun guy too. Such a good dude to hang out with. Like, he's one of the best green room hangs. And when you crack on him, he laughs hard. Yeah, that's the key. Like a dude who could take a joke. Yeah, Some guys are really good at dishing them out.

But I could take a joke. But Ari did not tap it twice. Just for the record.

I definitely. And you whimpered.

Oh, I do remember.

You made a noise.

I'll remember Your little nasty ass jumping in on this.

I remember.

Remember you faking. You.

I got right on top.

You tried to save me from Joey Rogies, but there's nothing. There's nothing.

We didn't even notice I was up there. It was like a chihuahua.

He's a problem dude.

Yeah, you got some. Some real beef on you.

Well, that was a moment where I had to show Shane what the is up. Whoa.

There was some alpha.

He got a little crazy with the football stuff. Yeah.

But there was no. I was 100 aware what was going to happen. There was no part of it.

You had a glitch gleam in your eye. I thought you. You thought you would take. Yeah. For a second you're like, I got this. He's four foot eight.

Hold on.

We've had.

We've had this conversation. I think every. Protect our park.

Yeah.

Every time. You two have no clue how life works. And like, I think the three of us could take him.

Yes.

I'm the only one every time that says he would literally kill all three of us.

I know.

I got him in a chokehold.

He got him in a chokehold.

Funsies. It's just funsies.

Look at the. Look at the arm.

Arms.

Look at the thighs.

Weak ass.

Compared to a lot of dudes I am. That's the thing. There's a lot of dudes I know that can murder me easy.

See the problem.

That's what's uncomfortable about being around the UFC. Like.

Yeah. Too many murders.

Yeah, I know. 135 pound dude that could take your life.

What was up with that last fight with a Herb? Dean kept calling it. He kept being like, stop. Work.

Work.

And you're like, the O'Malley fight.

Yeah.

I don't know what was up with that. Yeah.

I don't want to get the guy in trouble.

No.

I mean, I think he's getting instruction from someone who's telling him keep the action moving. When fighters go to the ground and they're not doing anything, keep the action moving. I think. I don't think that's Herb's call. I think someone's directing him because one of the things that her. And I think, by the way, I always say Herb is the gold standard. He's as good a referee as ever existed. There's him, there's Mark Goddard. There's a few guys that'll like right up there that are like elite of the elite. Like, you see them refereeing a fight, like they're gonna. They're gonna handle it. It's gonna be Perfect. It's just like, you know, it's a tense job. Yeah. And if people are breathing down your neck saying to keep the fights moving, you know what's he said? Something to the. Something along the lines of, if someone would like me to just let them fight out on the ground no matter what, I wish someone would tell me that. So that means that someone's probably told him to keep the action moving.

That sucks.

They want. Yeah, they want it to be more entertaining.

You know who probably told him that? That's white.

Oh, yeah. He hates. He hates a fight like that where there's no action. The guy just takes the guy down and hits little punches. He hates that. Even if you're winning. He wants guys to go for the finish. He wants guys to brawl. He wants it to be exciting. Yeah, he wants it for them too. He's like, look, you want to make money in this match, you gotta leave the fans wanting to see you fight again. And that's true. And the difference between a guy who's a champion, who you know can make good money, versus a guy like Conor McGregor is Conor McGregor gets people excited about seeing him fight. He puts asses in seats. He knocks people unconscious. So when you see that guy fight, you know you're gonna see some wild. Either he's gonna win or he's gonna lose, but it's gonna be a brawl. Guy's never been in a boring fight in his life.

He knows. He knows how to prepare, know. He knows how to promote somebody beat.

Up that old guy.

That guy didn't really deserve that.

Yeah, that guy swallowed that punch, too.

Yeah, well, it was not much of a punch. It was a little smack. Yeah, a little. I give you a smack. Hello. Smack. Who the is that guy? Probably I give him a smack.

That guy you hit probably had a drunk chin. Oh, yeah. Like a pub in Dublin. 70 years old, that guy.

He's been knocked around a million times.

Hey, I remember the war.

Those Irish people. But they're still fighting, bro.

I was reading about France, World War I and World War II. France lost 25 of their men in World War I and another 25% in World War II.

25.

25.

You guys watch the Chamberlain thing on Netflix? It's great.

What? Neville. On Neville Chamberlain?

No.

Yeah, yeah, the. The British guy.

Churchill.

Churchill.

Oh, what did I say?

Yeah, but that was the guy before him.

You figured it out, though. Thank you, Norman.

Norman. But yeah, the. The Churchill doc is incredible.

This is going to change.

Ron Howard did it. Yeah, they bombed the out of Dresden.

Dresden.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Okay. They just bombed, like, killing civilians, like. Like the idf.

It was Slaughterhouse Five. That's Kurt Vonnegut. Dresden. It's a good time.

It's kind of crazy when you think about how that was. Not that long ago, these people lost 50% of their men.

Wow.

Yeah, man.

Isn't that wild?

And now we have people doing it again. They're saying, let's do it again.

And they would just bomb London randomly. Like, Hitler was like, oh, you're gonna push back on me? Just go blow up Bill.

They knew the codes. They couldn't say, let's stop this, like, bombing, because then they'll know we have the codes. They should, like, try to evacuate the right people at the right time.

Crazy. They were sleeping in the suit in the subway.

What does it. Keep calm and carry on.

Yeah. But then FDR kind of shit on Churchill.

Yeah.

And then he made friends with Stalin, who is a big fucking liar.

Well, what was the.

I just watched.

You would know this better than most. DiStefano was trying to explain this when him and Giannis were on that Churchill had a wild idea to invade Russia. I think the end of the war.

At the end of the war. I think at the end of the war, it was Churchill. He. He recognized the Soviet Union was like a major problem. They got rid of Churchill as soon as the war ended. Basically.

He wasn't a peacetime.

I think he lost after that. Even after he won the war, he lost the. The new election.

He wanted to. He wanted to fire it up again, I think.

Wanted to fire it up.

I think Patton, that's ready to go.

Yeah. Into the Soviets and Eisenhower.

There was a lot of people that went, yeah, it's Batman versus Superman.

They're like, you can't allow this guy unchecked. You can't allow Russia.

Operation Unthinkable.

That's not a good one.

2 Related Possible future war plans developed by the British Chiefs of Staff Committee against the Soviet Union during 1945. The plans were never implemented. The creation of the plans was ordered by British Prime Minister Winston Churchill in May 1945 and developed by the British Armed Forces Joint Planning Staff in May of 1945. The end of World War II in Europe. One plan assumed a surprise attack on the Soviet forces stationed in Germany to impose the will of the United States and the British Empire upon Russia. The will was qualified as a square deal for Poland, but added, that does not necessarily limit the military commitment. The assessment signed by the Chief army staff on 9 June 1945 concluded it would be beyond our power to win a quick but limited success, and we would be committed to a protracted war against heavy odds. The code name was now reused instead of instead for a second plan, which was a defensive scenario. Don't throw it. Don't throw it. Don't do it. Defend. A Soviet drive towards North Sea and Atlantic Ocean. Withdrawal American forces from the continent. Jesus, that's terrified. Yeah, that's terrifying.

It was.

It was these. Love war.

Oh, yeah, that's their business.

Soviet Union was.

Yeah.

Evil.

Well, also, they lost a lot of people during the war, and they were a little bitter about that.

And they knew they were about to get the nuke.

Oh, yeah.

And it was like, now America is the only one with the nuke.

And they got a bunch of those rocket scientists from the fucking Nazis.

And if we get it done now, we're the only ones that ever have the nuke.

Right. The crazy thing was the rocket science. They're like, listen, I know you're a Nazi, but who knows?

We need it.

We don't care. Come on over.

What's the lady that wrote the.

Jacobson. Annie Jacobson.

And I just listen to paper and rice. I just wrote the. I just listened to the Paperclip book, and it's terrifying.

Terrifying.

The nuclear one's the scariest.

The nuclear one's the terrifying one. Operation Paperclip is crazy too, because she delves deep into those things. But the nuclear ones, like, oh, my.

God, this is the Russian version of it.

Ooh. A secret Soviet operation in which more than 2,500 German specialists, scientists, engineers, technicians who worked in several areas from companies and institutions relevant to military and economic policy in the Soviet occupation zone of Germany and Berlin, as well as around 4,000 more family members totaling more than 6,000 people were taken from former Nazi Germany as war reparations to the Soviet Union. It took place in the early morning hours of October 22, 1946, when MVD, previously NKVD and Soviet army unit units under direction of Soviet military administration in Germany headed by Ivan Sarov, rounded up German scientists and transported them by rail to the USSR by rail. They didn't have any use much related equipment was also moved, the aim being to literally transplant research and production research centers as well as a V2 rocket center of middle work from Germany to the Soviet Union and collect as much material as possible from testing centers such as the Luftwaffe Center, Central Military Aviation Test center at. Say that word. What's that wordpro? Bungstell, her pro Bungstell, Rocklin Reclin. Taken by the red army on 2nd of May, 1945.

What type of German goes and works for the goddamn Soviets?

Nazis.

They're just taken away.

And say what you will about national socialism, but at least it's an ethos.

Good point you're gonna get from the biggest Lebowski.

Oh, okay.

Some cubes in here. The CIA guys.

Ice cubes, please.

There's ice in there.

Young Jesus. Oh, there is ice.

Yeah. That's why I passed it to you.

He poured it into his glass.

I want to take all of it.

Well, don't drop it back in now. Dirty hands have been all disgusting pervert. You got a few. We'll get some more.

Sniff, please.

Hey, I'm scared, okay? The. The whole Nazi scientist thing is wild. They just accepted those guys.

You go to Alabama, it's all brawn. That guy brawn built everything out there. Spaceships.

It was like gold, like, golden land. Nazi. Like. Like, that kind of thinking was like.

Yeah, we need the gold. We need the Nazis. Bring the scientists over.

What town is that in Alabama? It's got a club there.

Huntsville.

That's it. It's all Nazi now. It's like Nazis and black. Black people. That's it. It's quite a town.

Yeah, it's an urban club in the middle of.

The single comedian that goes there. Must do the same joke. I did it.

I did it.

I was like, you guys have nasty. Are you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rocket's going up.

I got 10 minutes out of that.

How about that one? They had that rocket factory in Florida that was run by a Satanist.

Yeah.

Yeah. An open Satanist during the middle of the whole fucking rocket development program. Yeah, this guy was. He ran this place that's now, like, one of those haunted places where people go to visit. And if you go there, there's, like, spray paint all over the place and, like, devil signs and.

Oh, nice.

People have gone there and, like, tried to find ghosts. Jack Parsons. So this guy. See if you get an article on him. Oh, yeah, this guy was, like, literally one of the main rocket engines.

Are there any cults? Cults.

Guys are so horny.

So horny.

Practiced the occult and led a sex cult. He was also one of history's most important rocket scientists.

Whack off, you idiot.

Let the guy cook. Brilliant. People are all twisted. Look at Diddy.

Back then, all those scientists were getting crazy. They're all wild freaks. They were. They were banging their graduate students.

Oppenheimer.

Oh, yeah, they were all banging everybody.

That whole Movie. Just every other scientist wife.

That's true.

I know.

We've already done it.

We did. Wife.

Yeah.

Dude. Do it again.

He was a good look for the. The.

Yeah.

Yeah. He did well.

Killed a lot of people.

Killed a lot of people. Great.

Did a lot of great shoes. Right.

A lot of Asians.

Like a dude, I think finally.

Yeah.

Into too. They were all chasing tail.

Turns out dudes like.

Well, that was the thing about. Don't you ever get to scientists?

Never.

They were like rock stars back then.

Yeah. Stein.

Well, he was a little old.

That's fine. Stein. But yeah, he. He was a little old.

And that was part of why those guys wanted to be famous.

Sure.

They wanted to be like intellectually famous and be like the big man on camera. He's loved.

Yeah, still happening now. It's still happening now.

All the scientists.

Elon's got a lineup, but he's got 74 children.

They just weren't. Because they couldn't. And now that they can have Instagram accounts, they're.

Yeah, they're good. Point.

Oh yeah. Neil DeGrasse is up. Uranus.

Yeah.

Hey.

A lot of black holes.

Oh, Jesus. Quasars.

There we go. Put a ring on it. Saturn.

Oh, no. Jesus Christ, no.

That sucks.

I've been drinking.

So when you saw these drones, did they make any noise?

Not really. They were so hot up.

But. But how could you tell how big it was? It was really high up.

I mean it was pretty big. You couldn't miss it. And they were fast as too.

Really?

If you missed it, you missed it.

Wow.

Yeah.

It looked like a ufo.

It looked like an SUV with lights on it on the bottom. And what was the shape of it? Kind of a sorry little semen. Like, you know, kind of like a rectangular. Black rectangular with lights on it.

And you could see the propellers.

Hell yeah.

Wow.

But they were quick. They were moving.

The thing about these things is they're able to stay up in the sky for five hours at a time.

Five hours. The one I got my nephew for Bar Mitzvah. 30 minutes.

Yeah. That's most of the ones that we have in America. What I didn't get the drone.

Full of Mitch McConnell.

That's that freedom bomb. I got your ass.

I'll do another one.

Yeah.

Fucking bizarre that that kind of just went away.

Well, Trump said he's going to say what they were, but then it kind of fizzled.

Just say it.

Well, he said they know what they are. When I get into office, it's one of the first things that I'm going to disclose to the American people.

Yeah.

What do you think it is?

I heard they're. They're missing weapons.

What?

I heard that. I heard that one. That they were. They were scanning the sky. They were looking for a radioactive signal. There was some guy that was a drone manufacturer in America. We played his video and he was saying that they do have the capability to look for gamma radiation and that there was a nuclear warhead that was unaccounted for.

Yes.

They were worried that someone slipped it into the country, but that's. We've been diving down that rabbit hole. It doesn't seem like that makes sense.

And why not just say that's what they're doing?

Yeah.

I don't know. Because then people would freak out.

They always go with that mass hysteria reason. I never bothered buy it.

But here's the other thing. If they don't have to tell you, why would they tell you? They don't want to but. Because it just makes more work for them and isn't mass hysteria.

I guess it's not.

It's not.

Yeah. Just minor hysterics.

Really cares.

Yeah.

There's so many things going on simultaneously.

Like. I'm sure it's something else.

There's two wars. You know, there's blowing up in Syria. Things are happening left and right. Syria. Syria. Like they lost their government.

Oh, my God.

It's all like.

That guy fled like. Like Ellen.

Did he die?

We're trying to figure out if he's. His plane blew up. We heard his plane blew up and we heard it didn't.

Did you see this?

His plane went off the radar.

No.

She says do disclosure and that there's two kinds that they. That they don't know what it is.

Well, click on that because this is Shane's girl. He loves her.

Oh, she is pretty unexplained.

What's the company full screen?

No, it's a government agency that investigates UAPs. They investigate a lot of other things.

As well, but they'll be.

I am told this starting this year.

And all my senators in a gamer chair. That's where you know things good.

And they will explain how they've been debunked. I've been briefed on this.

And then some of the ones that.

Are unexplained they will also release to the public.

They're also going to sort of. I didn't know what the hell that meant.

Huh. What'd she say on this one?

Classified information.

You can't talk. Is that. That's Interesting. Why are you skipping ahead?

Because they're giving their idea on what's. What they think it is. And she just.

Okay, let me hear what she says.

The government is going to start putting out some of the information on which.

Ones are that they have debunked and.

How they debunked them. Because I think that information would give.

More trust in the process, too, with.

The government, because I don't trust them.

I don't. I don't trust, at this point, any.

Government agency because we've been lied to.

For so long by all of them.

But.

But then while they do that, they're also going to release information on what is unexplained.

What's the company? Arrow.

It's a government agency. Agency that investigates UAPs. They investigate a lot of other things as well. But they'll be doing this, I am.

Told this starting this year, starting over.

The next couple months, start releasing information on videos and photos that they have.

Debunked, and they will explain how they've been debunked.

I've been briefed on this.

And then some of the ones that.

Are unexplained, they will also release to the public. So I think that's. That's a great first step in some transparency. Have you ever met any of the Arrow.

Beautiful eyes.

Isn't it interesting, though, that a congresswoman can go on Internet show and say, I don't trust anybody in the government now. And everybody's like, right, yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

That shit never happened before.

I know, but now it's like, oh, we can't be saying that you're the government.

But here's the thing. It's like, but she's a representative. Like, she's not like someone in the deep state. She's not someone working for the military industrial complex. Right. So. But you never saw that on any television show in the past.

Meet the Press would never say that.

Not a chance in hell. They would edit it out and the congressperson would never do it. They would never say that.

The world is. I don't trust government agencies.

The world's fucking different. It's fucking different now.

Yeah, well, she's on a podcast. Politicians are on podcasts. It's all kooky.

Well, people are. It's probably millions of people watching her for sure. Versus, you know, you go on CNN, you get five minutes and 35,000 people are watching it, you know?

Right.

That's real. Those are real numbers.

Damn.

Yeah, it's. It's a. The world has fucking changed. And Then this time around, here's what's really crazy. So many people are trying to go to the inauguration. Like, everybody wants to go there.

Really?

Yeah. Celebrities want to go there. Business people want to go there. It's a totally different vibe because they.

Want to take pictures.

Think about going with AB it's not.

The best guy to go with the.

Best Twitter follow out cracker of the year.

Let's go.

Best Twitter follower out there easily. Hilarious.

Yeah, Jamie told me about it first. I was like, what?

What?

It's as funny as it gets.

He's hilarious.

He's supporting the Irish quite a bit.

Is that right?

How do you feel about that? J?

Well, that CTEs whatever you need.

I mean, as long as it's not Lexwerx.

Are you guys betting or not?

I'll bet him.

You gotta bet a thousand, Jamie.

100 bucks.

Let's go higher. Yeah, you got the cash. Arena. Come on. Tires. That's tires.

You look a little nervous.

I'm not nervous.

You look like when Ari was choking you. That's okay. You got to be able to reuse them with this.

You have to.

This is gonna keep rolling. We gotta find. Find a fresh one. You gotta grab them wherever they are. Yeah, they're like Pokemons.

No, I'm not nervous. Go, Ash.

There you go.

So what do you think?

All right.

It's gonna be a good game.

500, Jamie.

505 even.

You guess?

No, no, no. You've got to do it.

You have no idea how much of an advantage.

It's not money.

It's something embarrassing.

But you make way more than him, so we gotta even it out.

I mean, he's.

Yeah, but he doesn't spend it on anything a year intentionally.

But a dog doesn't eat a lot.

JMO's frugal.

Yeah, JMO?

Yeah, he's got that money saved. He's not frugal at you. He's got a nice car, you piece of.