Transcript of The Ruptured Testicle vs. The Fractured Testicle | Hour 1

Summer is pretty much my favorite time to be a sports fan. The biggest soccer tournament of the summer just wrapped up. Baseball's on every night. Racing never takes a weekend off. And my calendar basically revolves around first pitches, green flags, and whatever game everybody's texting about. I realized I'm the MVP of my group. I'm always the friend that says, "Hey, I've got it. I've got a place. I've got some ice cold Miller Lite. I got the TV. I got a big comfy blue leather couch. Come on over." That's the behavior of a Miller Time MVP. I almost never watch the big ones alone. I'd much rather be with my friends. And if I am alone, we're texting, we're sipping on our Miller Lites, toasting the day, toasting the big games. For me, Miller Lite is just a part of a big game routine. It's brewed for taste with simple ingredients, clean, refreshing, and easy to drink, especially in the Miami heat. It's a true American pilsner and the original light beer since 1975. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. You're listening to the Dan Levitan Show in partnership with the DraftKings Sports App, now live in all 50 states.

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show is presented by DraftKings Sports. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

Chris, uh, can you give me an update on your father? Is he headed here? Is he headed to the hospital?

I was told he's headed here, but I texted him, "You good?" and no response.

So, all right, so we will keep the cameras on, see if he limps in here, because this would be the second challenge we did with him involving him overestimating his kicking ability whereby he injures himself.

You pushed him, Dan. I hope you feel bad.

Well, of course I feel bad, uh, because I didn't intend to injure my old friend, but I didn't see anyone here wanting to or trying to stop me. You wanted him to make a kick, didn't you?

He was 0 for 10. No, I didn't want him to make a kick. I wanted him to be blanked. I thought that that was working spectacularly. And then you pushed it and he made one, which sucked because now it's all going to be about that one. And he got hurt. You pushed it too far.

I tend to do that sometimes. Speaking of which, just continuing the business conversation we just had, if your local television and the Heat have been in a position where they had a deal, they were expected to be paid, and they're like, where's our money? And they're like, we don't have your money. And then they signed a 1-year deal, right? Like, not, not $45 million less than the $55 million deal. The executives at that point are happy. Oh my God, we've got the cheap big team in town. We've got them cheap. What do you mean LeBron might come here? Really? Great. Great, LeBron's going to be here. What do you mean network television gets all the LeBron games and the— we're going to go from having, uh, you know, whatever it is, 82 games to all of a sudden having 50 games because LeBron and Giannis are going to be on all the games? You take that, right? I mean, obviously you're getting a discount and you still take it, but all of those games are going to be blacked out locally, right? The customer is going to get not a whole season of free games.

The customer, if LeBron comes here, is going to get— it's going to get what? Is going to get How many— what's the most number of games that are televised of a certain team? Because if LeBron comes here, the Miami Heat shoots from a few games a year.

Oh, more than a few. It's Giannis.

I know, but a few. How many national?

We did this last week. I think the number was like 34 games that can be televised nationally.

If that is true, let's just use that number. Just now with Giannis, how many you think they get?

20-something?

Yeah, I was gonna say like half of that maybe, so maybe close to 20 would be my guess. But they would get the maximum, obviously, if you got LeBron. Yeah, it's a pretty big difference.

Yeah, I do think there are some games that get to be broadcast on your local affiliate and wherever they— like the old NBA TV slot, that was always kind of murky.

Chris, I want some honest answers to my questions right now after you embarrassed yourself and the company.

I don't think that's true, but go on.

I haven't begun asking the questions yet, and already you're with the rebuttal.

Whatever it is, it's wrong.

He's going to be defensive, and he's going to try and cover up what's happening here. But just for the uninitiated, Chris Cody, for some reason, not understanding journalism, not knowing what a source is, telling me offline, hey, my source is real, but not telling me who the source was, and really believing it, reported that yesterday late evening LeBron would be coming to Miami. He reported this and everyone grabbed onto it and grabbed onto it because he's a member of this show and he was trafficking in this show's credibility. I texted you, are you nervous about what it is you've done? Your response was hopeful. I'm hopeful. At 4 PM yesterday, what time are you allowing yourself— first of all, before we go in this and you're saying—

before you go on, 2 days ago was the deadline. Yesterday he had already went.

I tweeted this Sunday. It was supposed to be done Monday.

Late afternoon. When you say late afternoon, what is that window?

I'm just gonna get out here and just say my statement here. I'll answer your question in this. I want to apologize for time coding this. Okay, that was my rookie move. I shouldn't have said a specific time. I still feel very confident that he ends up here, and I apologize. I've learned my lesson on saying a specific time. I was wrong on that, but I sit and stand by what I said. I still feel extremely hopeful that he comes here.

Okay, this is not useful, helpful, accurate.

We're asking Pat Riley questions. He can answer the question however he wants.

Journalistically sound.

Well, first of all, if you want to— I'm hearing things. If you want to, like, my tweet is I'm hearing that LeBron will make his decision late after. I didn't say anything about announcing it.

Good point. Gotta hand it to him.

It's a fair rebuttal.

So I can't be wrong.

Zagac.

We're playing with the semantics of that did not spread the way that it did because people read the other version of this you're having us try to believe.

You know, people from Cleveland were texting me on Sunday night.

I got dozens of texts about this.

But from, like, from who?

Oh, just people, like, friends.

You don't have to answer that. You don't have to answer that.

Yeah, friends.

Like, is this—

what are you doing?

Uh, College Mike, NASCAR Nate, oh, here we go, and the Watermelon Man.

Yeah, but I, I want it also stated here, I know I'm a big— I'm the buffoon around here. I'm not— this is not just me making something up. I've talked, and I didn't talk to just one person. That's all I'll say.

I had to answer text questions from people from Cleveland, like, You think I want to talk to Goldhammer? You think I'm interested in that? I'm getting texts from Goldhammer on Sunday night.

You don't want to talk to Goldhammer?

No, no.

You don't like Goldhammer?

Whatever.

Put it on the poll. You think I want to talk to Goldhammer? Yes or no? Uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave Chris alone for the moment. If he ends up coming here, it's a big, a big W for the kid over here. Chris, the kid is not turning what he did into a W. It's an L forevermore.

If I don't put tomorrow afternoon, am I still capable of winning? Like, this is on me. Rookie mistake. I shouldn't have said this is the exact time he will announce it.

It got traction not because of the timetable that you placed on it. It was what was the last word of that message you put out there.

Which, that I still sit by.

That was capitalized. Miami.

I think at the moment though, that wouldn't even be a surprise to people at the moment, given the way somehow everything has changed over the last 10 days.

But on July 19th, it was.

Everything has changed over the last 10 days regarding this, and now Chris Cody does not get to allege in any form that he gets to be right about this while he's embarrassing and very close to being fired. And I'm not kidding you when I tell you, this is in my lifetime This has been an egregious enough offense to get people fired at media places. Like, to get it this wrong— Tony, don't shake your head at me as if you know what it was like to work in newspapers 30 years ago.

I don't, I don't. I worked at the FIU newspaper, The Beacon, by the way, in which I did write a bunch of stories, some that I got sources for, some that I didn't get in trouble.

There's a difference, by the way. I run a few outlets here, or a few media outlets I'm in charge of here. And when I, on my other one, when I report something, first word, all caps, sources.

Wow. Power.

That's a report.

Power.

This is me hearing something of what he might make a decision, not announce.

Okay.

Okay. At some point, when's the joke on all of you?

Yep.

All right, people, back to your show.

You're going to allow him to win here? Are you going to— is this going to be a credibility hit for him? Well, you know what, I'm going to not ask you this question. I'm going to wait till Greg gets back here and ask him how he feels about all of this. I'm gonna wait to get Limping Greg's response to this. I've been showing Jeremy lately, and I want to get you guys to chime in on this. I have been just randomly every day texting Jeremy at various points in the day when I'm in my car, always listening to some sort of baseball game on the radio.

I don't get it.

It— it— what do you mean you don't get it? Baseball on the radio is the best, and what I'm about to tell you makes me somebody who feels like he is in the worst and most pathetic of time machines. Like, because I'll listen on a Sunday morning to the 1960 World Series. Like, I'm not even kidding you. I'll go back in time and I'm sitting there listening to Bill Mazeroski in the night. The Pirates should not have won that series. They got outscored like 60 to 11 and they end up winning the game. They win the series 4 to 3. So I get transported in this magical time, timeless time machine, pathetically. And so what I'm always texting him is some form of a random score somewhere, like it's a game I should not be listening to. Last night it was Guardians and Twins, and I'm just wandering around—

Guardians vs.

Twins?

The reason, the reason that I listen to the game on the radio, Zazz, is because of how last night that game ended. I want to play for you the sound how that game ended, and this is why I enjoy the worst of all the pathetic time machines.

They're on their feet at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario. The 1-2 delivery. Swung on, hit a high drive deep right toward the corner. Watson's in the corner. He jumps in.

He—

did he make it? He made the catch!

Oh, what a play by Watson!

He slammed into the sidewall on a dead sprint and leap and somehow made the catch.

Ball game! I'm in my car and for 2 blessed seconds, an eternity in sports, I have no idea what happened in the game that I'm listening to. None.

And then after the silence, he's like, "Did he catch it?" He still doesn't know.

Ball game! Mike Ryan covers against the spread!

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Summer is pretty much my favorite time to be a sports fan. The biggest soccer tournament of the summer just wrapped up. Baseball's on every night. Racing never takes a weekend off, and my calendar basically revolves around first pitches, green flags, and whatever game everybody's texting about. I realized I'm the MVP of my group. I'm always the friend that says, "Hey, I've got it. I've got a place. I've got some ice-cold Miller Lite. I got the TV. I got a big comfy blue leather couch. Come on over." That's the behavior of a Miller Time MVP. I almost never watch the big ones alone. I'd much rather be with my friends. And if I am alone, we're texting. We're sipping on our Miller Lites, toasting the day, toasting the big games. For me, Miller Lite is just a part of a big game routine. It's brewed for taste with simple ingredients, clean, refreshing, and easy to drink, especially in the Miami heat. It's a true American pilsner and the original light beer since 1975. An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time! Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Down, Levitar! God, I would love to see that interaction. Lord, let there be a day.

Hey, Oprah!

Let there be a day. Oh, The Color Purple.

You like these glasses?

She would see these glasses, she'd be like, this is someone I'll take a picture with, he looks sophisticated.

I love big game, not a big game. Jonathan Sasslow.

She would say that to me instead of me having to go up to her and say I'm a big fan. She's like, I love big deal, not a big deal.

Huge fan of your work.

You're a one-time or two-time championship broadcaster?

Two. Oprah, two.

You think Oprah would say like, "Hey, know about that book club?" And I would say, "Yes, I do, Oprah. Yes, I do." Have you seen Weapons? But with the kids! This is the Dan Levatar Show. One of the things that that announcer did during the game, and I'm just going to pose this question to you guys because I figured that this announcer would have the answer to something that he was confused by that I thought was obvious because he's around baseball all the time. But maybe I have it wrong. So the Guardians have a third baseman, Gabriel Arias, who's got a just a monster arm. Okay. And he made a play on Josh Bell, who hits everything hard. Like, the Twins are fun because they hit and don't pitch. The Guardians are less fun because they pitch and don't hit.

That's right.

So Josh Bell hits the ball, scorches it. And Arias has time because Josh Bell's not the fastest of runners, and he throws the ball across the diamond with a bounce. And the announcer was genuinely confused as to why it is that Arias did that. And I'm curious as I ask you guys, I have a theory on this. I've never asked anybody, but I've always assumed it. The announcer was saying, does Arias think the ball gets there faster when it bounces, etc., etc., etc. Uh, do you— says, do you know the answer to this? Because I think my answer's right, but I've never asked anybody. Do any of you have a theory as to why it is that infielders do that, especially infielders with giant arms?

I don't.

Okay, because my theory is he doesn't want to overthrow him.

That's right.

That there's more of a risk in overthrowing him when you have a giant arm and you're throwing it that far across the diamond, so it's more likely to be accurate. And with a slow runner, you can even throw it off the bag and the first baseman can get back there and, and get to the bag. That's something you see from outfielders on throws to the plate.

You don't usually see that.

Nothing like a good one-hop throw from the outfield.

Oh, but I see it all the time.

Oh, the first base?

No, but I see it in baseball all the time. Uh, infielders with giant arms are doing it. But, but I was just surprised because a guy who's around all the team, the team all the time, was acting as if he didn't have any idea why. He was legitimately confused.

Yeah, why did he do that?

I've never seen it done to second from third. I've seen a lot the, like, across the diamond.

Well, we showed the wrong highlight. That wasn't to second. It was to first. It was to first base.

The throw was across the Diamond.

And, uh, that I've seen a lot.

Mike Bryan is so bored by winning money on the Guardians that he's yawning in our face right now, uninterested in this content.

But the video we just showed is incredible. Like, the Angels third baseman realizing, in this case going to turn a double play, and knowing that the sun is directly behind him setting in the stadium, so the sun would be in the eyes of the second baseman. And so he makes the choice as he's moving towards second to throw the ball directly into the ground and one-hop it over to the second baseman to turn two. It was one of the most heads-up plays, and it's an example of what you're talking about, Dan. This is a guy who doesn't want to throw the ball away. He is so close to second that you're in the weird in-between space of do you flip it underhand over towards second and know that it's wasting time and you might not be able to turn two, Or do you throw it directly into the ground like he does in this case? And it's like so impressive to see. You could see the second baseman.

I don't think I've ever seen that before.

Holding up his glove to block the sun. And we'll play the video in just a second. But to be able to see it is unbelievable.

I was claiming that that play is more impressive than the Marlins triple play last night. The Marlins had a triple play, the standard one, ground ball to third, touch third, throw it to second, throw it to first. Much less impressive than what the Angels did yesterday.

That is interesting. Is a triple play like this more interesting and more impressive? I think honestly, as cool as that triple play was, and it was in a huge moment to keep them in the game and have a chance in the ninth, I think you're right. Like, I think we were in a situation where that, that double play was more impressive than a triple play.

It's so unusual what the second baseman for the Guardians did there. Like, he must have— or shortstop, excuse me— he must have told him in advance I'm going to do this if the ball was hit to me.

So no, and it's the third baseman for the Angels, but you were really close. It's basically the same thing.

Well, it's not your fault. Video put up an Angels video that is not what I was talking about, and that's what's happened to you guys. So this, this is a— there's a lot of stuff happening right now, all of it very confusing, and all of it has bored Mike Ryan. So I'm going to try to lure him back with a baseball conversation that I think—

with a baseball conversation—

will get him. Yes, I know. I'm good. I get it. I know that this is why you drifted off into the sea over there.

Fall camp opens 2 weeks.

But Joshua Korota-Graver for the Oakland Athletics, if they are still indeed— ouch is what he said because he's got a ruptured testicle. He's on the injured list with a ruptured testicle. Tony, what did you just do?

You know I'm out on that. I don't like that. You wanted to draw us back in, so why don't I show a video of a guy's ball exploding?

But it's because it's the worst injury in sports.

Yeah, but it's also like the third time I've seen one of these.

I'm also being told— I'm being told that this guy got up Got a base hit with the ruptured testicles.

He's not wearing a cup.

This is a foul ball. You can still— dude, I mean, point-blank range.

Guys don't wear cups.

Yeah, catchers wear cups. You can still get an injury with a cup on, though, at point-blank range like that.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, so you said you've seen this—

microplastics—

3 times, Mike. And the thing that I feel like I have to correct you on, because I'm going to say that it was the '90s when I learned of some sort of Seattle Mariner catcher who, who got a foul tip and got an injury that I'd never heard of before, which is a fractured testicle. Okay, so that's when I learned of the fractured testicle. I've never before heard of the ruptured testicle. This is a new phrase for me. He's on the injured list now. I was not aware that that was a thing. Are all of you aware that ruptured testicle is a thing that you could go to the doctor and you're going to get the diagnosis you've ruptured your testicle.

Honestly, it's the opposite. I didn't know you could fracture a testicle because rupture makes way more sense given the, you know, the consistency of said testicle.

I think I'm with you.

If I ever rupture my testicle, I'd prefer to be told that it's fractured.

All right, so let's put this on the poll. Worst injury, uh, well, just put on the poll first, is there a worse injury in sports than the ruptured testicle? And also put on the poll, worst injury, fractured testicle or ruptured testicle?

I've got the answer here for the differences between rupture and fracture of the testicle. The rupture is when the tunica albuginea—

I'm sure you said that right—

the tough fibrous outer covering of the testicle tears. This causes internal testicular tissues, semiferrous tubulus, to squeeze out of the scrotum. At least you try into the scrotum.

There's always a squeezing.

And then the fracture occurs when the testicular parenchyma, the internal functional tissue, breaks, but the tough outer covering remains completely intact. So the inside breaks, and then the other one, the outside breaks, and then stuff goes into the scrotum.

I learned a lot there.

Yeah, I learned tough work.

I'm not a scientist.

No, no, no, you put yourself out there. Yeah, thank you. There's no shame in that. No one else was volunteering. Thank you, Tony.

I do not wish to shame him for the bravery of going into the breach to find the information and reading it poorly with a lot of words that seemed like they were very difficult. The problem is that he was reading and it was so distracting to me, the number of words that were mispronounced and that I wouldn't have known if they were pronounced correctly, that I still don't know which is the worst injury. I was not able to absorb the information in a way that— and I don't think the audience was either. I don't think there's any way that the audience now knows when I ask the question again, which is worse? Roy, based on what you just heard said by Tony, spoken poorly, based on what you just heard, what do you have a better understanding of answering my question? Which is worse, a fractured testicle or a ruptured testicle?

No.

Chris Cody, do you have a better understanding? I'm not— Tony, I'm not shaming you. You made the effort and I'm proud of you. It was courageous act. It was bold. You're borderline heroic. You're making America great again. Chris, do you understand? And can you answer my question any better? Which is worse, ruptured testicle, fractured testicle?

Heard every word.

Ruptured's worse.

Because of what he said, or because you decided beforehand that ruptured's worse?

No, because there's a sac that protects the sac, right?

The medulla omblica.

And the fracture happens to that sac. So like in, in many senses, the ruptured testicle is also a fractured testicle.

Well, but the fractured testicle isn't a ruptured testicle.

No, no, no.

Correct.

That's right. But to rupture a testicle, you have to fracture it.

So, but what you're saying— what you're basically saying is, and I did not hear that in what he said it, first you fracture the testicle, then you rupture it.

So if— no, not, not, not in every case. Sometimes people survive and it's just a fracture to that outer lining.

When did we decide wearing a cup, like, somehow isn't cool anymore?

It's uncomfortable.

You know what's not cool? You know what's uncomfortable? A ruptured testicle.

No, but I hate wearing cups. No one likes doing something athletic. I'll take my chances. Yeah, all right, it got that guy, but there's plenty of guys out there free ballin' it and they're perfectly fine.

You should have to wear the cup while you're at bat, and then after you're at bat, you go to first base, you reach in your pants, you toss the cup in the dugout.

Ironically, the next guy wears it. More guys would be concerned about wearing it in the field than hitting, because more often than not, if the ball's thrown at you, you're turning the other way. Having the foul ball hit you directly in the balls like that That is, that is a rarity. Adrian Beltre had to score a run with a ruptured testicle because earlier in the game he had taken a ground ball off of the scrotum. And I found an example here. Josiah Mazzanio in 1997 took a 112-mile-per-hour line drive off the groin. He ruptured both testicles, had emergency surgery to remove one of them while he was awake.

Why does he have to be awake?

I don't know.

I'll look it up further. I just found that information and I had to share it.

They shoot it up and then you can just kind of— it's like brain surgery, you know? You're awake during brain surgery.

No.

Yeah, people are awake.

Depends what kind. Don't just say like a blanket statement.

Some people are awake during brain surgery.

Put it on the poll at Levitar Show. Are some people awake during brain surgery? Mike Ryan. You were interested. You can pretend like you're not interested again.

I'm looking to see if any goalkeeper—

we lured you in. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can pretend again you're not interested now when you got help.

I'm not interested. For the record, I'm just trying to help.

It was Manny Ramirez that hit that line drive off Mancini.

I need more information about that.

Yeah, because I knew you were going to say I need more information on that.

So I don't need more information from you guys. That's enough from you guys. I need our guest bookers to get Jose Mancini so that I could talk to Jose. Okay, sorry about that.

Made him Hispanic.

Is that also a fine?

Former Marlin.

He is a former Marlin.

Wait, is that the same guy?

This guy pitched for the Marlins in 2004.

Let's get him on. I want to talk to him.

He's also on The Mitchell Report.

About this injury. Is that a fine for me? I want to relitigate something from yesterday, actually, because I think that Mike Ryan was aggressive in the way that he fined me $5 for getting the name of Rocco Baldelli wrong because I called him Rico. And I want to go to Zaslow on this to find out from Zaslow whether or not the appeal in the history of the fine system. Now that we have a judge here, he gave me the maximum fine, $5 for getting a name wrong. I just got another name wrong on Montenegro, so that's a— I'm assuming that's another $5, even though I got his last name right and I got his first name wrong. But I thought there were degrees to these fines, and so I'd like to relitigate this and see if I put my appeal in front of Judge Zaslow.

Let me hear your side again.

So the question is whether or not me calling Rocco Baldelli, Rico Baldelli, is worth the maximum fine of $5 for getting a name wrong.

I think Dan might be confusing two different fines. I just fined you for Rocco Baldelli. I gave you the full max for not listening to the Zazz tuna fish story, which is lore.

Well, I'm gonna give each of these their own time. As far as Rocco Baldelli is concerned, you cannot call him Rico. And expect that to be the same as Rocco. Those are two completely different families that would name their kid Rico compared to name the kid—

it's the Baldelli.

It's the same family. It's all the Baldelli.

Different families. Fine is upheld. Any other case you want me to hear?

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Dan Levitar!

What is the worst part of the life?

Jonathan Sasslow!

The worst part of the life of what?

This is the Dan Levatar Show. I wasn't listening to the tuna fish part of the story that involved you guys going to Pearl Jam.

You never do. We've told it 20 times.

Instead, going to Pearl Jam to— it's a— no, but the thing is, the other the other times, the other times I feel like I remember the story, it's because I'm distracted by the sheer patheticness of the tuna sandwich being headed to wrestling instead of Pearl Jam. Like, it's different. The two stories are different. You go to Pearl Jam with a tuna fish sandwich, that's one kind of sad. You go to wrestling with a tuna fish sandwich, that's a different kind of sad.

The tuna fish sandwich was never supposed to reach the automobile. The tuna fish sandwich was supposed to be eaten solo by me in my kitchen. Mike arrived to my home early. I wasn't gonna make him wait, and I also wasn't gonna eat alone in the car, so I made him a tuna fish sandwich, none of which was planned. The only thing that should have come of this was a thank you. That's it.

So you went to the car with the fish sandwich?

Yeah.

And he had the tuna fish sandwich. You guys had smelly-ass breath the whole ride.

Whatever, we're Smelly-ass breath. You don't smell each other when you're sitting out there talking.

I have to hear you talk about Pearl Jam for 2.5 hours.

Get out of here. Get out of here.

So when Manzanillo got hit, he fell to the ground, but he got up and threw out Jim Tomei, who was running home. They were playing the Guardians, or the Cleveland baseball team. Threw out Jim Tomei at home, then laid on the ground for 5 minutes. But after he laid on the ground for 5 minutes, got up and sprinted off the field before having the surgery to remove his ball.

You're telling me that if I got in the car with a tuna sandwich that I was eating myself, and it was lunchtime. I'm eating a tuna sandwich. You're telling me Mike wouldn't have said, wow, that's a little bit rude that you're eating and I don't have anything? Come on.

The answer is no to that, and it is yes to the fact that you absolutely had tuna on your breath when you walked into that Gin Blossoms concert. Everyone could smell it. They're still talking about it. They're talking about old tuna breath at the Gin Blossoms concert. It's such bullshit, okay?

This is going back 20 years ago, and I remember turning on the radio the very next day, and you guys are making fun of my hospitality.

They didn't remember that segment.

When talking to The Athletic in 2018, trying to describe what things looked like, he said, how can I give you a great example? You know when you open the faucet? Inside my body, I just felt draining running inside of me and going into my private parts, and it started getting bigger and bigger and bigger. That's when I got scared.

It was on a Kaiser bun too. It wasn't like just on like white bread or It was a Kaiser bun.

Yeah, smelly ass, brother. It's okay. So Dan, to answer your question about rupture versus fracture, the internal testicular tissue, the tube squeezes into the scrotum. So that's the water faucet that he felt was that stuff going into his balls, dude. Made them grow huge.

I don't mess around on nothing too. I put mayonnaise on that. I know there's a little bit of mayonnaise in the tuna, but whatever. I spread a little bit on that Kaiser.

Don't you guys assume that the reason that so many major league players— I didn't think it was discomfort. This is what I assumed when it comes to not wearing a cup or not wanting to wear a cup because it can be uncomfortable. But I imagine we would have the science at the height of athleticism to make it so that the athletes could get the best of gear when it comes to comfort in playing sports at the highest level. I always assume that the reason for that would be like the reason that Ed McCaffrey as a wide receiver, he was, uh, not afraid of getting injured. He wanted to just be this much more aerodynamic, wanted to be this much faster, and so he wore super thin pads and a really tight uniform because he wanted to run faster. I assumed that Major League Baseball players might not go with the cup because somehow when they're running or whatnot, they might be a degree faster if they're not wearing a cup.

Well, how often do you guys get hit in the dick? I get hit in the dick a lot. I'm a goalkeeper. It happens a lot. I opt for no cup. It's part of the job. I get hit in the dick, I'll roll around on the ground, but that'll happen sometimes, you know, it'll happen a lot more in a short span, but then sometimes I can go a year without getting hit in the dick. What do the guys do? Tell their bodies not today. I always finish the game.

Chris Cody, your father, what are we doing with your father? It is taking him a long time to get here. Are you sure he has not gone to the hospital? And have you checked in with him just to make sure your father is okay? If you're just joining us, Greg Cody did another kicking challenge. He again injured himself. He went 0 for 10 on penalty kicks. He did make the 11th, but when he got to the 13th, he clearly injured his calf. And it was a stunner that a winded Greg Cody made a single one of 13 penalty kicks. But look at him there, Zazz, celebrating. He thought he was going to make more than 3 or 4, and he's celebrating making 1 of 13, and he injured himself.

He did text me. He said, should be walking in the studio around 10:10. I really did tweak a muscle in the back of my right leg, but I am still hopeful I can bowl tonight.

So after getting hit with the line drive, in his next 11 appearances, he had a 7.5 ERA before the Mariners sent him down for the rest of 1997. He missed 1998 '98 as he was in the minor leagues, came back up eventually, but he pitched 6 more years in the big leagues, the last in Miami as a 36-year-old. And after 1997, when that happened, he wore a cup and became known for pounding against his crotch on the mound.

I mean, at that point, you got one less ball.

I remember that.

I need to talk to this person and interview him vigorously to get to the bottom of this story in a number of different ways. He's clearly a good quote, and I fear that I might be losing some audience here, and I'm okay with it, in exchange for the horrors of this story, because I learned of the ruptured testicle this morning. I did not know that that was a thing that can happen. Something else that I learned of this morning that I did not know is that Jon Harbaugh is speaking, I guess for one of the first times, to the Giants rookies. And you have to understand, this is the big free agent guy in Kingsport. This is the guy everyone wanted because we do an interesting thing when it comes to leadership and the middle managers who run these teams for the front offices. We make them super famous. We make them super powerful. The football coach, I think, has a special place in American pop culture worth more than the other coaches. I think as much, as much as we do the worshiping of, I love this guy as a leader in football, the physical sport, the, the leadership overlord over those particular men doing that thing on Sunday, I think we think that these guys aren't primitive, that they are people who can go to a fountain of inspiration and move any men.

And this was the guy everyone wanted, and this is the guy who's going to fix the Giants, who've been bad for a long time.

I want to play this. He's talking to the Giants rookies for the first time. It's a new game called Inspiring or Awkward.

Welcome, man.

Good to see everybody here.

You excited?

Yes, sir.

A little nervous?

No.

Huh?

No nervousness? Nervous, man. Excited nervous, you know.

Nervous like before a game almost, Mason.

Getting this thing kicked off. Standing up here in front of the New York Giants. The New York Giants. It's the New York Giants sitting in this room. The New York Giants. Wow.

It's an honor.

It's an honor to stand in front of this room right now.

Down.

I know this coach and doctor feel the same way, right, coaches? It's an honor, man. We've been working, haven't we? We've been working early, we were late getting ready for today.

Today, sitting in this chair, this seat, getting to work, getting started, our beginning, because this is where it all begins together. I go with No, that's motivational.

The Giants are in this room.

New York Giants.

No, there are people in that room that hadn't considered that. I bet you there are two undrafted rookies that are like, man.

Where are we?

This is a New York Giants.

We've been working hard.

It's a New York Giants.

Coaches, we've been working hard, right?

Yeah, Coach.

Yeah.

You'll never hear an assistant disagree. Oh, you know, it's all right. We're easing into it, Coach.

I think that what is possible there is that Harbaugh doesn't realize that he's in a room full of people so young that they don't have memory of the Giants being any good.

I believe that because to Jon Harbaugh, I do not doubt that the New York Giants mean something as a brand. But to many people in that room, the Giants did win 2 Super Bowls with Eli Manning. They beat the undefeated Patriots. I think it still has cachet, but they are viewed more as a punchline lately. So yeah, no, we're going to change the narrative. Narrative with it.

This is the New York Giants.

I love the coaches part because you know the coaches are not expecting to be like called upon. They're in that meeting in the back, it's like, all right, when he's—

yeah, what is the—

go, yep, whatever you said, coach.

What's the tipping point on being able to say that effectively and reaching the room? This is the Nashville Predators, guys. Let me say that again, that's a tough name.

That's not the tipping point.

This is the San Jose Earthquakes.

Minnesota Timberwolves are in this room right now.

Where the—

We're the—

let me say it again. We're the Minnesota Timberwolves.

I don't think that that's the tipping point. I think that we can find, as Greg Cody—

We're the Ottawa Senators. Let me say that again for those that didn't hear me the first time. We're the Ottawa Senators.

Greg Cody is here. He has limped in to—

Be a little louder, Greg.

Yeah, he seems like he's—

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in California. Let me say that one more time. We're the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in California.

The Los Angeles Angels is redundant in a way. Are you okay, Greg?

I'm good.

Okay. Thank you. You seem unhappy. You seem—

No, I'm perfectly happy. I injured my right leg, so I'm not feeling perfect, but we're good.

I want to get to how it is that you feel about how you did, but Tony, just give me please the Giants record last year.

Last year, Dan, not a good year. They were 4-13 in '24. They were 3-14 in '23. They were 6-11. '22, they were above .500. They were 9-7. '21, they were 4-13. 2020, they were 6-10. 2019, they were 4-12. 2018, they were 5-11. 2017, they were 3-13. 2016, so 10 years ago, was their first double-digit win.

Okay, those are all rookies. They were not— they were not even teenagers. The people in that room have no functioning knowledge of the Giants being any good at football.

2016, they were 11-5. That was their best year.

They're thinking of the Daniel Jones year when they're thinking back to Giants.

Men, you're a Colorado Rocky.

Think about that.

Colorado Rockies.

That guy, what was his name?

Goodwin. I saw him on the—

yeah, the guy that you asked me about the other day. What was his name?

What was his name?

Hunter Goodwin?

Oh, close.

Hunter Goodwin. Yes.

It's not Goodman. Good man.

Yes.

Is he good?

Yeah, really good.

He's good. And the Rockies haven't had a good win in 10 years either.

Also, we've been informed that Josias Manzanillo is in the Dominican Republic right now and is quote, not doing any media, but I'm working on Manny Ramirez and Jim Thome. All right, because they are the guys who were thrown out at the plate and hit the line drive, not respectively, but the other way.

Get the guestbookers on this because—

what is he doing down there, Dan?

He's Dominican.

What is he doing?

What is he doing? Saying he's not doing any media.

He might not want to talk about this anymore. He did a really long article.

He's not doing any media.

He's got a lot of requests coming in.

He's not doing it.

You know what, that's fair.

Fair.

What is he doing down there?

Is he just hanging out by the beach?

Come on. How entitled are you, Zez? You get to just do media with whoever you want to do media with. This guy is so tired of talking about his ruptured testicle. Everybody wants to talk to him about his ruptured testicle. He's like, I made it to the major leagues, you know how hard that is? I played a decade in the league. The Giants haven't been good in a decade. Everybody just wants to talk to me about a ruptured testicle. Uh, Greg, do you believe you're gonna have to get something looked at? Do you believe you have legitimately hurt yourself here in a way that's going require rehab or surgery?

No, I pulled a muscle in the back of my right knee. I don't know what that muscle is called.

You have a lot of muscles back there, Greg. So it's either the calf going up or the hamstring going down.

Yeah, no, it did. Uh, and once that happened, I was incapable of taking another shot. It was sad because I was just, just getting my wind, you know, just, uh, getting psyched up and getting ready put a couple of pills past the doctor there. But it didn't happen. I disappointed myself. I was 0 for 10. Made one soon after, but still very disappointing. I had good pace on the ball, I thought, but I was kicking it right at him. I made it easy for him. I think only 2 of his saves he had to leave his feet for, so I'm thoroughly disappointed. I demand a rematch. Nice kid though, that goalie. Nice kid.

How'd you feel about calling him a backup at the end?

Well, he is a backup. He was a little cocky for a backup. Not only that, but his FIU Panthers just lost to my alma mater, the FAU Owls.

Oh, don't do that. You went 0 for 10 on kicks and then hurt yourself and you only made one when you had two hands behind his back.

All right.

Weren't you FAU's backup goalie?

I was on the club team, yes, in the late '70s. That's correct.