Transcript of The Big Suey: Football Movies (feat. Tony D'Amato)

Welcome to the Big Sui. Presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Habitual Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

I live. Since the Dolphins The Evans have won a playoff game. The Patriots have not merely 10 Super Bowl appearances. They've got 17 AFC East titles and 6 Super Bowl wins. I will say again, when it comes to the ego of coaches and in general, how often people think that they are responsible for their own success without granting the idea that a lot of luck is involved and that you have to have a lot of support. You have to admit that Bill Belichick, six years ago, could not have imagined a scenario where there's a 10-part docuseries that rips him for not being as responsible for those victories as you might think. That also has Tom braided winning a Super Bowl by beating Aaron Rodgers, Drew Bries, and who was the third quarterback? There was three great... Oh, and Mahomes. And Mahomes, he beats three quarterbacks, and some of them on the road to win the Super Bowl. And then after that, that the Patriots would get one of his former linebackers, and that Vrabel would turn into one of the sports great coaches, that they wouldn't need Belichick at all to get back there.

And don't forget, with a quarterback that, according to legend, you told your social media staff to not post about because he's a Tarhill, but he's doing it with the Patriots, and that makes Daddy look bad.

So I don't think he's the same quarterback that the stats are rolling around on McDonald, how good he is against quarterbacks who are under 24 years old. I think Drake May is a unique talent at the position, but there are good, valid reasons to question how good that Patriot Patriot's team is. And I wondered yesterday, I assumed that Patriot fans would fear Stafford more and not want the Rams to advance. But what they should fear is what Seattle's defensive line is going to do to cave in the right side of their offensive line, which is injured, because that is incompetence, what you have seen from the Patriot offense to advance to the Super Bowl. Outside of Trent Dilfer's Ravens, I have rarely seen a team be this incompetent in offense the last two games and get to the Super Bowl. And those Raven teams had to injure Rich Gannon on the road in order to do that by having Tony Zaragusta just fall on Rich Gannon in a way that injured the MVP.

I'm hearing us talk this game out, and I guess the general feeling is that Seattle rolls, right?

You know what that sets up for?

Mike Vrabel, Live Doggy.

Live Dog.

A counted out Live Doggy in the sports biggest game. I'm just saying.

Wouldn't you think, though, that the Rams were fearing most Stafford, correct? I'm sorry, the Patriots were fearing most Stafford advancing to the next game, that they would have preferred to play against Sam Darnold than Stafford? No?

I don't know. Yeah, I don't- Is that a bad answer? That's terrible.

I don't know.

I don't see Mike Vrabel and his staff like, Jeez, I hope it's- I'm talking about fans.

I was talking about Patriot fans.

I think they'd be more afraid of Seattle because we know Seattle's defense is great. The Rams defense, not so good. And the Patriots, like you said, offensively has struggled against really good defenses these last couple of weeks. So I think they probably would have I'd really rather have seen Rams.

It's also been not to be the weather guy, but it's also been the weather, right? When they played against Houston a couple of weeks ago, there was slushy wintery mix that they really couldn't get the field going.

But the score was 10-7 at the end of the third quarter, 40. It started snowing.

That's the conference championship game. I'm talking about two weeks ago in Houston where it was slushing and raining and wet and cold. Then the week after, they have another weather anomaly. It's like you're looking at these two games, it's like, well, you don't have your full offense out there to be able to do the things you want to do. He's the best deep ball thrower in the league and hasn't been able to throw deep ball in two weeks.

It is a nice word, Jeremy. I don't know if it was a right word, but it was a nice word. Oh, no, he did good.

It's the right word.

Zaz loves and has told us he loves low-scoring games, defensive games. I enjoyed that game very much. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Did you watch it or are you a big phony?

No, I did watch it. I am a big phony. I did end up watching it. Of course you did. I regreted those three hours of my life. Why would you love that game?

It wasn't snowing, Dan, and then it was snowing.

That's like the tale of two games.

Exactly right. Tale of two halves.

I was hate him from the sidelines, and then I saw that single camera shot following Sydom as he's there on the field with his family, and his kids are hugging him, and he's stretching out. And it's great cinematography. The camera just swoops around a stadium full of people.

You know about that cinematography?

This is such a cool story.

And then he throws a dot. And then he throws a dot over to Marvin Minns Jr. For 55 yards. You're like, Oh, my God, there's no way it's going to happen. Sean Payton is going to do it.

Jared his '90s ass hair. Oh, Oh, wow. Danny Taylor-looking hair.

Guys, I cannot be alone in this room of thinking that game was an abomination. No, loved it. And put me in the weird position of rooting for the Patriots because I did not want did him in the Super Bowl. For what? Why would I want to watch that? You're ruining the entire game for me. At least this time, I can pretend that Vrabel and the Patriots have a chance, and I can talk myself into all football games close because football is crazy that way. I couldn't have done it if Denver had been in the Super Bowl against either one of those two teams I watched in the later game. Yesterday, Denver might have slowed and tried to muck up a Rams or Seattle Super Bowl, but they wouldn't have had a chance with Stittam. I'm telling you, there are very few quarterbacks in the history of the league that game plan the way that the Broncos game plan and make the mistake that Stidham made in that situation. You cannot make that mistake. You can turn the ball over down the field. You cannot inside of your own 15-yard line when your defense is playing like that, when clearly the weather in the home field are going to help you later in the game, You cannot make that mistake as a competent quarterback.

And Rex Ryan said this morning on Get Up, that's why he will be a backup the remainder of his career and will never be a starter. But I wanted to ask you about another- Way to put yourself out there.

What a take. The guy who hasn't thrown a pass in two years.

Backup. The career backup is going to be a career backup.

Get out of town. The thing that I wanted to ask you about Rex Ryan, though, is when he dismisses, he was talking about the Sean Payton play and the fact that Sean Payton went for it on fourth and short and failed when he could have gotten a 10-nothing lead instead of a 7-0 lead. And his defense is obviously exceptional, and that front four is as good as any that has played the game, statistically. In terms of applying pressure. When he sees his beloved game turn into a different thing where coaches are going for it more and more on fourth and short, and he yells about these nerd dudes, the way that Tony Dungey does. That lands on me wrong every single time that these dinosaurs keep shaking a fist about how they used to do it because they don't like the change. How do you absorb Rex Ryan, being on television and just pounding people with these nerd dudes because all they're doing is applying the facts of math, and he wants to eliminate them because he's the coach who prefers caveman. He wants to beat you over the head with a club instead of listening to just the probabilities of math.

Clearly, Rex Ryan is scared of math, and it's confusing to me.

Well, here's the irony of the way Rex Ryan feels because he's a caveman, okay? So he doesn't like the nerd boy stuff. The nerd boy stuff is being aggressive. It's them wanting to actually be tough.

And it's short yardage, line scrimage, battles. It lends itself to the caveman mentality.

That's why even Mario Cristobal became super aggressive.

Rex Ryan, with his caveman, tough guy football, does the opposite of tough. He punts on fourth and one, or he runs the ball so they can use up the clock instead of Donald throwing the ball at the end of the game so they could pick up the first down or going for fourth in short. It's like, the nerd boys are actually the ones playing tough guy, aggressive football. Rex Ryan's the coward in those spots.

And there's not that many cavemen left in head coaching. In the NFL, you look around the league and you're like, there's only a handful of guys that are not going to do that thing. They're not going to go forward on fourth and 1, fourth and 2, fourth and 3. And we're going to see that move over into the media space, too, where all these guys who played the game and coached the game a certain way, now they're just age out. Everybody's going to be like, yeah, that doesn't work anymore. What we need is the new people that are talking about analytics, they're talking about going forward and on fourth and 4 in a short-yard situation.

The idea that you would age out so close-mindedly that you would be like Greg Cody, against learning, seems to run against what the definition of coaching is supposed to be. The Stealers just hired Mike McCarthy. He is viewed as one of those cavemen, but he has evolved, and he was somebody who was changing the way that he was applying his ideas to fourth downs.

It's just bewildering that, of all people, Mike McCarthy has been the head coach for the packers, cowboys, and now the stealers. These are crown jewel franchises, and he is such an ordinary man.

This signaled to me, I thought, a desire to lure Aaron Rodgers into another season.

Wasn't there a schism with McCarthy and Rodgers?

I read that book with my ears. I don't think this sweetens the pot for Aaron.

And not sure it does either.

Okay, I don't know. I just assumed that. But the thing that was most confusing to me about everything that happened there is how weird for Mike Tomlin to leave without any fanfare, without any press conference, without any interview, without any saying goodbye to Pittsburgh. You have a coach who has no losing seasons for 19 years, and he slips out a side door. And I'm not sure what his contract status was. Did he leave money on the table in order to... So he just leaves the job with no fanfare. The Steelers have had three coaches in their history. How is it possible- No, they haven't had three coaches in their history.

Yeah, this is a common mistake that you made. I mean, pretty much.

Since the '70s, since the merger, since the merger, fine.

I know you're giving me the hand dismissal. I'm trying to help you, pal.

That's not helpful to me.

Yes, because everyone's like, Dune's an idiot. I'm like, No, he's Come on, use your eyes.

There wasn't football. There wasn't real football until the merger. All the stats are after the merger. You want to cite the 1940s?

I'm speaking for the Ops, all right? That's all I'm doing. What did you want? The end of season press conference, the way that Tony Donato had it for the Miami Sharks, where he surprises everybody.

I'm going to control Albuquerque, and I've signed Willy Beeman as my quarterback.

This guy is a good...

It's a game of interest.

How did it surprise everybody in the room? Wait, there's an expansion franchise. Tony Donato is operating it, and he just signed Willy Beeman, and he's breaking all these things to us at the same time in front of John C. Mcginley.

These are terrible reporters. Not a single one of them could have had the scoop.

He punched one of those reporters.

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Don Levatard. While there's nothing official, Conversations are still ongoing. Was that a fake Schefter? Because it was excellent.

It was pretty good.

It was excellent.

I feel like there's legs.

I tried at the beginning, and then I lost confidence in it. Why? It was good.

You got this.

There's nothing official. It's so good. Conversations are still ongoing. Stugatz. It is trending towards nick Seriani, remaining the head coach of the Eagles.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

There was an eyeball on the field in Any Given Sunday. I would have had that scoop, Dan. It is weird that we are so bad at making football movies, given how popular the sport is. Well, there just aren't very many. You're going to have a hard time. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Can you name in the history of film, Five Good Football Movies? An Eyeball on the Field Does Not Look Realistic.

I loved that movie when it came out, Dan, Any Given Sunday. Bouk Shambi used to give me a hard time for my love of that movie. And about two years ago, my son, my older son, I was like, You want to watch a great movie? Let's watch any given Sunday. You're going to love this. So we sat on the couch. I didn't see it in 15 years. So we sat on the couch together. We put on about 20 minutes in, we looked at each other. I'm like, This movie sucks. What? And we stopped watching.

No, the movie's great. What are you doing? It really hits the ground running, too. It sucks.

You don't like football, dude.

Man, that's a great movie. It's a great movie.

Can you guys look up for me? Put it on the Pollet Lebitard show. Is any, is on Any Given Sunday, a great movie. And look up for me whatever details you can find about the LL Cool Jay, Jimmy Fox fight offset in that movie, because I am surprised that football hasn't had more good movies made about it in the history of film. I had the same experience. Have you guys had this experience? Can you guys name some of the movies in your life that you've gone back to revisit that you saw at one age and then saw later? Because the movie Warriors, I saw in whenever it was, the late '70s, early '80s, and then I revisited it 20 years later, and it doesn't actually hold up. I had a very bad experience with it. Watching it 20 years later. Mac Holland showed up yesterday. He was dancing in the huddle before the one good play in that game, the flea flicker that they threw the ball to him. He appeared at the game dressed up as, is it Cyrus? Is it Cyrus, the guy that was clicking bottles in the warriors, saying, Warriors, come out and play.

Go ahead and show people the footage of Mac Holland. I had no proof there were any wide receivers in that football game in the early game played yesterday. I can't believe that Zazlo liked that football game. Yeah, I did. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Did you like watching Patriots Broncos? There just can't be anybody that liked watching Patriots Broncos. How was that possible? Of course.

Smash Mel football.

What do you mean? It was just run the ball. It's Smash Mel football. But it's run the ball on the line. Nobody can move. Nobody can see anything. It's stupid. It's a stupid way to decide. It's a stupid way to decide who gets to the Super Bowl? A backup quarterback throwing the ball backwards. That was not...

Do we know if that was a pass or a fumble?

I mean, it was ruled a fumble, wasn't it? It was behind the line. Warriors, come out to play.

Does Matt Collins know that that was the bad guy and that guy lost in Warriors?

Ken, that's a play on. It doesn't matter. Probably not.

Spoiler alert. Yeah, man.

It probably came out 45 years ago.

Did any of you watch Skyscraper this weekend?

Hell, yeah. Is that the one where the rock has a peg leg?

We don't say peg leg anymore.

He jumped from the scaffold to the building, and he actually... His trajectory It went up.

With a peg leg? Yeah. Does it have a special hydraulic- I don't know.

That's a good question.

We can't say peg leg?

No.

What? Since when? The great Jeremy Taché sticking up for me.

I'm an ally.

We could say peg leg, guys. Come on.

Skyscraper.

Great movie.

I wasn't talking about the movie.

Is he hanging out from a helicopter in that movie, or is that a different movie?

I was watching it on mute.

That's Hobbes and Shaw.

Oh, got you. I was watching it on mute. What expertise did Seth Rollins bring to the proceedings other than energy? But as it built towards the end, did Seth Rollins have something in terms of analysis?

Seth Rollins wasn't in that. Neve Campbell was in it. Not Seth Rollins.

For those of you who do not know because they can't stop getting off their skyscraper jokes in the rock movie. That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about Netflix doing what is... Every 5 or 10 years, we do something like this where you're going to- You guys are going to climb this thing. We're like, Wait, what? A famed rock climber is going to do a daredevil stunt live on television where he's going to... They had to cancel it the day before. It was supposed to be the day before, but in clement weather, which is effectively Everything everywhere, except Miami in the United States, made it so that it was unsafe to climb a skyscraper without ropes or nets, which I would say it's always unsafe to do that. But evidently, there's weather that makes it more unsafe.

Well, and you got to take into account, Dan, there was a fire in the middle of the building. Now, Rock didn't know because he was higher up, and it was the world's tallest building. Also, he helped design it. That's how he knew his way around. But there was a massive fire in the middle of the building. So maybe that played a role, too, in not being able to climb it.

I am sick watching this, okay? As I'm watching what he's doing here and seeing the amount of wind that is making. His name is Alex Henold, and he is doing something here that it makes me queezy to watch this because of the height, obviously, the danger. And the only reason you'd be watching it, correct? It's not his name.

His name was Will Sawyer.

Is to see if he'll fall or not. I saw you had to look that up. You didn't remember off the top of your head, all of the great characters in movie history. Mike Ryan just summed the name of the coach on any given Sunday from 25 years ago. You had to look up the Rock's character name in skyscraper. Everyone knows. What do you mean?

I just saw you look it up. I just wanted to be sure.

He's a journalist, Dan.

None of you watch this?

It was the worst kept secret of all time. I didn't even know what was happening. Nobody said to me, Hey, there's a guy climbing the tallest building in the world. I was like, Oh, sick. Nobody said that until after I saw that he reached the top, and I was like, Oh, okay, he did it.

Yesterday, when you say poorly kept secrets, I learned yesterday, not that I didn't totally understand it, but it became a factoid that taught me yesterday, I did not know that Patrick Dempsey was a hitman on a television show until seeing the commercial for it during football yesterday.

I need to apologize. It's Tony Donato. Oh, you idiot. Not Donato. You got it wrong. I said Donato. It's Donato.

Oh, my God. How embarrassed are you right now?

Like cuss? I'm pretty embarrassed. Because other than I was nailing my trivia. By the way, Jeremy has an update on the LL Cool Jay, Jamie Fox fight.

Yeah, they were supposed to be getting into a heated argument on the sidelines when they were in character. But then Jamie Fox was getting frustrated because LL Cool Jay was being just a little too aggressive with him during the scene. So when they went to do a second take, LL Cool Jay was even more aggressive with him. So then Jamie Fox punched him in the face. And so he was like, Hey, why'd you do that? He was like, You want to see why? And he had a helmet on. And then he stood there in a fighting stance. And so LL LL Cool J ripped his helmet off and punched him in the face and knocked him out cold.

In his defense, Willy was changing the plays in the huddle. He wasn't executing the plays that coaches were calling.

Steeman Willy Beeman was doing?

Steeman Willy Beeman and LL Cool J was upset because that's eating into his bonus. Why don't you get the ball there? He's changing the plays in the huddle, Coach. And then that fight happened in the sauna where Lawrence Taylor looks terrifying.

Jeremy, can you look up for me if Jim Brown was body-slammed during that altercation, trying to separate them? Because LL Cool J tells that story with some pride. Jamie Fox does not. What do you make of the fact that Mina Kimes, a very ardent Seahawks fan, tweeted this offseason after the Seahawks traded Gino Smith, Flat out, this is a terrible move by Seattle. Chances of upgrading are extremely low. Did you guys hear or see a lot of Sam Darnold supporters at any point? Did you Who are the Sam Darnold believers and the people who can say, like Mike McDonald does today, Oh, Sam shut everybody up. He just had in the biggest game of his life, the best game of his life. One of the best games a quarterback has ever had under any circumstances. Sam Darnold just had it. You cannot beat Matthew Stafford at his best unless Sam Darnold has that game on third and fourth down.

It's basically McDonald and Kubiak, where the two guys are going to be like, Yeah, I told you so. We saw something in Sam. We knew that it was going to translate into our offense. But if you thought in the beginning of the year, I just saw on ESPN, they were 60 to 1 to win the Super Bowl. And you look at what they did in the offseason, you're like, All right, you get rid of Gino Smith. You bring in Sam Darnold. This offensive line is young. It's not that good. Their defensive line has gotten better. Their defense is okay. Mike McDonald is going to do a good job there. But offensively, I didn't know if JSN could be a number one wide receiver. Boy, did he prove us wrong? He's the best wide receiver in the NFL. And you look at Ken Walker, and you're like, he's gotten hurt sometimes. Sam Darnold, you don't know what you're going to get if it was Kevin O'Neill in Minnesota, or is it really Sam Darnold? And now with 30 wins under about the last two years, most winning quarterback in the NFL, you can stand to reason, all right, Sam Darnold is actually pretty good.

Vikings must feel terrible, right?

I mean, they're not the only ones. There are any number of people who could have had that as their quarterback. When I keep giving you the stat again and again that the Patriots have done what they have done in the last 25 years since the Dolphins have won a playoff game, half the teams in the league could regret not getting Sam Darnold, and all of them could have had Sam Darnold. Even Seattle wanted Geno Smith to come back. That was a Gino Smith call. Gino Smith and Pete Carroll thought That it would be something that they could just recreate with the Raiders. And as far as reclamation projects go, that's a super interesting one to me, because if you take that quarterback in the top five and you just simply watch him yesterday, you see all the things that you need to see about, Oh, that's magical arm strength. That's amazing accuracy. That's pocket awareness. But I'm also used to that coming with three interceptions in a game when I trust it. I'm used to that panicking in the pocket when the pass rush gets ferocious. The stat I gave earlier on the Ram's defense, allowing points on 40% of your drives in the last nine games, that doesn't deserve to be in the Super Bowl.

You need superhuman MVP play from your quarterback in order to overcome that. The thing to me that's amazing about yesterday is it wasn't a defensive game. Seattle's number one defense did not play like it. Gave you no evidence. Anybody tuning in for the first time to watch yesterday what's allegedly the number one defense in the league. Look, when I watch Denver play, I see a great defense. When I see Houston play, I see a great defense. I'm watching yesterday, no evidence of a good defense. Never mind a great defense. Where was the evidence? They didn't bother Stafford. There wasn't huge pass rush. There wasn't anything about that Seattle defense that gave off special yesterday.

They came up with the big play in the big moment. I mean, fourth down on the goal line.

But with a gimmick. But with a gimmick, they did it. That's not a gimmick, Dan.

That's a scheme. That's situationally great football. You win in the margins in the NFL. I mean, yeah, you're going to let up a ton of points to one of the best offenses. But in the clutch situations, in the places where you need to get a stop, they were able to do what they needed to do.

You say that, but Parkinson dropped a ball that he would have just walked into the end zone with the ball. That's a business.

It's about who wins.

I understand. It's not about who you think is better.

It's about who wins.

I'm not saying It's about who I think is better. I'm going to again tell you that it's not that I think the Rams are better. It's that I don't think there's any difference between those two teams. If they played 100 times, it wouldn't surprise me each of them 150 times.

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Kermit the Frog here, live from Metalog Media Studios here in Miami.

Stugatz.

The Germans are advancing on France in World War II. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

The thing about the measurements that is interesting to me in that sport is that it's more random than all of the others. Even hockey and baseball, which could be wildly random, the sample size isn't one game. They give you 5-7 games to decide something. Jeremy gave you the stats earlier of what's happened when the Rams and the Seahawks had played, never mind the last three times this season. In the entirety of them playing, the difference between those teams throughout their history isn't anything. They are separated this year by a fourth down, by a call, is the difference that Seattle goes to the Super Bowl and the Rams don't. And to me, that is nuts that both games yesterday and football in general is so close that you can go into any one of the games, change one of the plays, and change the entirety of the result. And history doesn't remember any of it because we do simplify it right down to it. It doesn't matter who should have won, who could have won. The only thing we care about is who did win.

I mean, basketball is the only sport where that doesn't apply.

Well, one-game samples. You can get to one-game samples, but it's a game seven. Like, generally speaking, we have series as a more accurate measurement, something that at least reduces improbabilities. It can also happen there. But the thing that's frustrating to me about this conversation today, because it's been so normalized, this is how we measure it in football, and it's just how it is, that if I gave you right now Seattle's up two to one in a seven-game series between the Rams and Seattle, none of you would count the Rams out. Simply none of you would do it because there isn't much of a difference between what those two teams were this season and the last time. This one at least wasn't fluky. This is the one that Seattle was most impressive in. You know what's funny about this? Seattle might have been the most impressive of all of them in the first one, the one they lost because they had four turnovers and were still kicking a field goal at the end to win the game on the road. So the most impressive one of the Seattle defense was certainly the first one. It wasn't the second one, and it wasn't the third one because Seattle's defense over the last month hadn't allowed a 20-yard play.

In the last month, they were the best defense in the sport like they were all year, but they were not in this game. How many people before this game, never mind me and Akai getting it wrong, or everybody getting it wrong, or me getting it wrong, how many people before this game would have signed up for the bet, Seattle's defense is going to get ransacked, and Sam Darnold is just going to be better than Matthew Stafford, because this was the most lopsided one Seattle had. If not for a dumb unsportsman-like call, they were up 31-20 and could have just handled the rest of the game because there was no circumstance under which the Rams were going to be stopping Sam Darnold on this day. They weren't even bothering him. There weren't a bunch of dropped interceptions. There was one bad throw that Sam Darnold made that could have been picked off. Of the games, this was the most impressive one Seattle played.

Can I defend Mina Kimes for a second? All she said in that tweet was, letting go of Gino Smith's a mistake, it's going to be really difficult to upgrade. She didn't say they're not going to upgrade. She didn't know they were going to sign Sam Donald. It's going to be really difficult to upgrade, but guess what? They did. They surpassed that difficulty.

On a bargain deal, it looks like now. If you win the Super Bowl, what did they pay them?

A hundred million?

I don't think she was wrong.

Well, she was wrong.

No, she thought it would be difficult to upgrade.

It was difficult, but they did it.

It It was difficult, and they did it.

So Bill Bellamy says that during that fight, Jim Brown was not body-slammed. It was a separate altercation because there used to be chess played on set, and that Jim Brown, with some of the young guys who were ex-football players, he specifically said a couple of guys who were from Liberty City in particular. He used to get very sarcastic, Hey, you sure you want to use that queen here in this situation? And it just started to really rub guys the wrong way, and they had no idea who Jim Brown was. And so ultimately, the next day, after one of those times where a guy had gotten frustrated, just as simple as walking up to Jim Brown, picking him up, body slamming him, right on set.

I regard the original Longest Yard as the best football movie ever made, but I'm guessing that Jeremy and Tony haven't even seen it. I'm wondering if it holds up, given that it's a movie from the 1970s.

The Burt Reynolds one?

No, the Sandler?

No, that's not the original. That's a horrible movie. That's not the original one. With McCheezy? No, that is not the original.

No, Burt Reynolds is the original.

Well, Burt Reynolds is in both of them, but Bert Reynalds was the star of the original, and I think Adam Sandler and who else was in the segment. Michael Irvin. Chris Rock. Michael Irvin was one of the second ones.

Terry Cruise, Stone Cold, Bill Goldberg.

But Jeremy and Tony have no idea what the original 1977 Longest Yard is, right? Do you imagine that it would hold up? Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Is the original Longest Yard the best football movie ever made? And does the original Longest Yard hold up in 2026?

That final scene where Burt Reynolds was going to pick up that football? It doesn't.

That was tense. Spoiler alert.

It's not the best football movie ever made, Friday Night Lights.

Remember the Titans? What are we doing?

No, the last scene, Remember the Titans, blows.

It can't be Remember the Titan. You can't fool the district coach champion that's a legend with a double reverse 80 yards. 80 yards enter route. You're not even throwing the ball. You're just... I mean, Sunshine, look, Sunshine wasn't that fast, and the blocking on that play was You can't have an 80-yard reverse as the climate of the movie.

It ruins the movie. It does. It's a weird time to argue against Remember the Titans. Between living and dying.

I'm a Varsity Blues man.

You can't be. Little Giants.

Come on.

Varsity Blues, baby. You can't be... What are you now? You're Chris Talking. Talking walk, man.

She got the whip cream.

Come on. They go out of a place, and then all of a sudden it's daytime, and they're like, Oh, no, we got a game.

Do you know that because of Varsity Blues and somehow the popularity of that movie, that that those kids did where they laid on a highway? No, that's the program.

That was the program.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm confused. Great movie, though. No, neither of these are great. How dare you? What are you doing about Varsity Blues?

How dare you?

Do you think you can name five great football movies? Do you think that you could come up in the history of film? Because if you're going to give the program great, then you can do it. The program? Are you hurt? Are you injured? The story I was going to tell about the program that I confused with Varsity Blues, both of them had a stereotypical fat guy in them, right? Both of them, course. Yeah, of course. Both of them use the- Mina Downlineman?

Yes.

The high school kids getting drunk, laying on a highway and allowing cars to drive over them, that was something that kids were actually starting to do because of that movie.

They took it out of the movie. I've never seen the version of the movie with that scene. They took it out.

Became in the '80s cliché, hiding under public transit. Who can forget the Lost Boys, clinging to that train track as a train roared overhead. Fly with us, Michael.

It's a great movie. Boy, you're on a roll this morning, man.

Do you think we wouldn't get consensus? I guess we wouldn't in the room. Roy, do you have a nominee for what it is that you would think is the best football movie ever made? Because these guys are selecting from the discount bin of Slop because they They're nuts. They're nuts. They're all of you. You cannot say Varsity Blues.

Remember the Titans is so up. You're trying to be provocative.

Are you crazy? Varsity Blues cannot be one of the great football- This is worse than your Fernando Mendoza tape.

Yeah, he's calling blockers ahead of him as Foofighters He's off in the distance. Yeah, it's a great movie.

North Dallas, 40.

Eighty for braided.

Remember the Titans was not Slop. I will give you that Remember the Titans was a good movie, not just a good football movie. But the last play takes it out of great. Despite its ending. But I'm with Zaslow on this. The last play, I believe I yelled at Denzel Washington about that. That was the air. I think that that can't be the way that that game ends. You cannot fool the legendary district coach because all he's doing is yelling, Watch for the deep pass. Watch for the deep pass. They got no time left. They got to go 80 yards in the legendary district coach is yelling, You got to look out for the deep pass. And then they trick him with a double reverse.

It's so bad.

You know what prevent defense does, Dan? Prevents you from winning.

He didn't account for Rev as a blocker. Come on.

Okay, we have the program. We have Friday Night Lights. We have Remember the Titans.

Eighty for braided.

You can't give me two more? Varsity Blues.

How do you like that Jumbalaya?

All right, I'm going to put all of these on the poll, though. It was bad.

Little Giants.

Come on. I'm going to give you Friday Night Lights, and I'm going to give you Remember the Titans, but it's all I'm going to give you from among everything that we have mentioned here. Now, the original longest yard needs to go up there. I think North Dallas 40 does, too, but I think North Dallas 40 would also have a hard time holding I have a hard time with any movies outside of basically the godfather from the '70s holding up.

Does Jerry Maguire count in this situation?

No.

It's half the movie. Put it on the poll. Does Jerry Maguire count as a football movie? Because I think it has to count as a football movie, and it's a good selection. I think that you've done well. I put Jerry Maguire. That would get us to five if we're willing to count all of that and not disqualify Remember the Titans because of that last play.

Dan, the program is 80% on Rotten Tomatos, man.

And Hey, you're wrong.

It's a good movie.

Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Was the program a good movie? I was objecting more to Varsity Blues than I was- God, John Voight as the coach, Dan.

I don't want your life.

I don't get strokes, mother bleeper. I give them.

I'm going to argue that John Voight has never been in a good movie. I think I have this wrong.

He was in heat.

He was in heat.

He was in heat.

Was he? Deliverance? Come on. Was he? He's the financier.

With a ponytail. Was he in heat?

He was in holes.

Did someone yell Anaconda at me? They're remaking in a gun, aren't they? Who are they making? Critical flop. Who are they remaking?

It was Jack Black and Paul Rudd.

But it's a comedy.

But Steve Zahn is in it, and he was in the original. How about that?

How about that?

How's that?

I think it was John Voight in one of the Beverly Hills cops? I think he was in the second Beverly Hills cop.

No, he was not in Beverly Hills cop, Dan.

Are you sure? No.

Trust me, I've seen all four of them.

He wasn't in.

I think- National Treasure Dan?

Weren't there a couple of biker guys trying to kill Eddie Murphy who answered to John Voight in one of the Beverly Hills cops? Because I think- They were bikers in another 48 hours. Okay, that's the movie I'm thinking of, of John Voight. So I'll give John Voight that hour.

That hour for you, man.

You think? Because I've forgotten all of John Voight's good roles, and somebody shouted Anaconda at me when he got spit up by a giant snake and then winked at it while covered in fluid. That's the one that you guys are talking about? He was on his knees, got spit out by a giant snake, and then he wasn't quite dead, winked and then died. He's a showman. There's six inches in front of your face.