Transcript of Local Hour: The Good Bagels

I was a little bit worried this morning, Dan, when I got here. I'm not going to lie. A little bit worried. It was no breakfast.

I saw that. I came in and I didn't see any trays out there. I didn't see any bagels out there. I've seen in general that the breakfast has gotten a bit flimsier. It's not the lunch is still strong, but the breakfast has gotten a little weaker. What happened?

I have some inside information via our ladies at the desk over there. They were telling me that the delivery driver came in with the stuff, and then as he was delivering said stuff, it exploded and fell on and they had to go get more. That's why I was late.

I was worried. But then the breakfast came through in a very big way. You got the good bagels this morning. You got the good cream cheese. You know I don't play around with that whip cream cheese. I like the block cream cheese. You got the good bagels.

You like government cream cheese?

I'm in a great mood today, Dan.

Miami doesn't make great bagels, correct? The Miami bagel can be inconsistent. These are the good ones. I've heard people from New York come in and complain about our bagels because New York has some bagel snobs, and evidently, we don't always make good bagels. What makes these bagels better than the other bagels? They're just fat.

These are fat bagels.

They're allowed to have that. You ever have a New York croqueta? It ain't the same.

I wasn't saying that they're not allowed to have that.

But there's no shame in not having as good a bagel as New York.

They just come down here and they complain that the bagels aren't.

But they complain. They complain. They complain. You can put bagels, you can put any other thing you want out there. They complain.

New Yorkers do come down here and just complain while in Miami about how Miami is not as good while New York, right at present, is shoveling ice off of the driveway all over the Northeast while we have weather unlike any in the United States. We will take a lesser bagel in exchange for having weather better than anywhere in the United States. The entire United States is like It's like the second half in Denver yesterday. Except for Miami, where it's 78 degrees.

We're the best.

Very foggy, though. I did wake up very foggy this morning. I was like, driving, I was like, whoa.

It was hard to see even three feet in front of you. But then when you drove one mile, perfect sunshine.

I'm looking at the weather channel right now in St. Louis, Missouri. It's zero degrees.

Yeah, suckers.

This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugats podcast.

Put it on the poll, Juju. Would you prefer that the Rams and Seahawks just play again at Levatard Show? And would you also prefer, because the measurement system is so imperfect in this sport that the Rams and Seahawks just play best of three starting right now to actually determine who's best, as opposed to the slop we did yesterday, where two fourth down calls go a different way, and you've got two different teams playing, and you don't have a measurement system that actually helps you understand who's the best team.

I've got a couple of stats of the day for you guys that are totally crazy, all right? Play the stat of the day, music. You guys tell me which of these stats is the best. Second time in five weeks, he does that and loses. That happened to braided twice in 23 years. That's one of the stats of the day. There have been four times, Zazlo, since 1970, that a quarterback goes for 370 plus, three passing touch downs, and zero interceptions against the NFL's number one scoring defense? Four times it's happened. That that quarterback has lost twice at Stafford in the last five weeks, where it's happened, where he's playing perfect football. Yesterday, he had 13 completions at one point for 260 something yards, and he's losing to Sam Darnold. But here's my favorite of the stats. And when I say favorite, the most haunting is someone who has lived in Miami for the last quarter century. The Patriots have 10 Super Bowl appearances since the Dolphins were last in the playoffs, winning a payoff game. The Patriots have 10 Super Bowl appearances since the Dolphins last won a payoff game. That's crazy in a league where you're rewarded for being bad and the salary cap makes things equal.

Well, the Patriots were rewarded for being bad. They somehow built themselves up from losing the best coach of all time, the best quarterback of all time, missing on their initial replacement for the best quarterback of all time, having to rebuild that. And now we're here with Mike Rable and Drake May. That's the process working. Just don't know why it never works for Miami.

Lamar Jackson, defenses have forced three turnovers in eight playoff games. Drake May's defenses have forced eight turnovers in three playoff games.

Yeah, he didn't necessarily have to be super great to get to a Super Bowl, which is blessing in year two because it's an invaluable experience. Now, he was big in big moments against a big time defense in terrible conditions. So I think a lot of the stats people are cherry picking, like this guy didn't have to score more than 17 points to get to the Super Bowl. And contextually, people understand that that Denver game was a little bit more difficult. But yeah, it's a credit to Robert Kraft. I'm sure he's really enjoying this one right now.

And then you look at his advanced stats regarding Drake May, and it's 17 TD, zero picks against the Blitz, and it's all these different things that show you he's actually a really good quarterback. The problem is they haven't really played anybody. There's nothing the Patriots can do. That's the schedule. You got to play this schedule.

I mean, these defenses are awesome that they're beating in the playoffs. And if they wind up winning the Super Bowl, it's like the final boss of defense. You're going to have to give them some credit.

For sure.

I want to, though, talk about a couple of things as it relates to the Patriots. I want you guys to go back to right before the pandemic and whatever it is Bill Belichick thought of himself and how he regarded how integral he was to the Patriot success. If I go to Bill Belichick, let's say, six or seven years ago, okay? And I say to him, Here's what's going to happen over the next seven years, your greatness. There's going to be a 10-part series on Apple where Robert Kraft just destroys how important you were to everything that was happening there. Your quarterback is going to leave and immediately win in Tampa. And here's the kicker. One of your linebackers is going to get to the Super Bowl with your team. You're just a guy you coached that was your Linebacker is going to go 9-0 on the road, not lose a road game and end up in the playoffs. At the end of that game, and I want to talk about that game because I got to think this isn't an empirical stat, but I got to think that that for a Championship weekend was the most opposite two games could be.

In the history of games being played for a right to the Super Bowl, New England, at the end of that game, Romo would not shut up about how aggressive the call was to bootleg a running quarterback who's your safest option running the football. Roma would not shut up. I can't believe how aggressive a call that was while in the next game, Sam Darnold is still throwing with less than four minutes left because that's what real aggressive looks like.

The best part about that is it wasn't even the call. Apparently, Drake May called his own number there and didn't even tell his teammates. There's a quote here from Garrett Bradbury that said, I hit my block and all the defenders started running the other way. I'm like, What? Oh, my God. After the game, Drake's like, I debated telling you guys if I was going to keep it or not, but I just decided not to. He did that on his own.

I, unironically, because we talked about this last week, about Romo and he and how I don't really care about it. It doesn't bother me. I was annoyed with Nance and Romo in the game yesterday because they thought it was so cute and so funny that as viewers, we couldn't see where they were on the field because of the snow. It was a big joke to them. Hey, buddy, it's your job to figure it out and let me know as the viewer. I need to know where they are on the field. They thought it was so funny that no one knows where the football is.

Figure it out, man. I'll tell you something that was funny, though. In a game, we all know this is violent real estate acquisition. We all know that both of those games are decided last night by inches. Four down and inches is deciding both of the games. The part I did find funny is that referee totally making up when the punts went out of bounds, where to spot the ball. He was totally- He was walking. He was having... He could have gone anywhere. He could have walked 40 yards, and we would have said, That's fine. You're talking these people killing themselves in order to not let someone get three yards. And then there's just a slob on the sidelines walking down, strolling, strolling down the sideline, giving you nine extra yards. And you're like, Yeah, I guess that's where the ball is. No, I don't really know.

Zaz, you know about that Russellmania 13? Yeah, of course. You know about Brett Hart versus Stone Cold Steve Austin? Of course. You know what happened in that match?

Double turn.

Double turn. This playoff Championship Weekend was the crescendo of a weeks-long double turn in which people decided they actually liked Tom braided on the broadcast more than Tony Romo.

Yes, good call. I have for you a funny story from yesterday in that regard because Tom braided did have a good call.

He might be the best.

Tom braided did have a good call on a play. So on fourth and 1, on fourth and 1, Matthew Stafford breaks Lawrence's tackle and gets an extra half-yard to prolong a very tense moment at the end of that game. And the key part to that job is enthusiasm. It's what John Madden had, and it's what braided exhibited yesterday when he just shouted, Oh, my God. And I gasped, too. And I'm not kidding you when I say that I would have been less surprised if my coffee table had gotten up and run out of the room to see Stafford run a yard and a half. So I gasped. And Valerie's walking past and she hears me gasp and she hears Tom braided yell, Oh, my God. But she's got no context for everything. So all she's seeing is Stafford fall a yard and a half. And she's like, Why are you and him reacting that way? And I looked at her and I'm like, You don't understand. This guy is old. And she's like, How old is he? And he's younger than her. And I'm like, No, but he doesn't. He's played 17 years in this league, so he's like he's 97.

His body is broken.

He almost missed the start of the season with a back injury, and we never actually saw a hit. It just he woke up his back hurt. Tom braided was excellent on that broadcast, and man, I capitulated on my braided stock at the worst possible time. I kept telling myself for a couple of seasons, he's Tom braided. He's the goat. Put adversity in his way. He'll conquer it. It's just a matter of time. And then I felt like we reached a breaking point where I'm like, This guy's just never going to get better. And I regret that because he found the secret sauce. That team- He's a good broadcaster. That team found its rhythm by being, Hey, we love a good game. And they set the table when you're like, Hey, partner, you feel that juice a little bit? I'm starting to feel that juice. And they get more excited and they meet every moment. In fact, down to the production elements on the bump-ins, they show them fist-pumping each other because they're just super psyched to watch football. And that's the key. That's how Tom braided is connecting to us. We don't have any connection points to Tom braided.

We like his story, but that guy has just lived in a different world for 30 years.

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Don Levatard. And then that staff are through, him 25 and two. Oh, there's a brand new kid in town, out of B Stugatz. They call him Puca, Puca Nakuwa. Puca Nakuwa.

His quarterback is not named Tua, where he is Puca, Puca Nakuwa. Where he is Puca, Puca Nakuwa. The Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

The guy who gets to live in a different world over the next two weeks than what his two weeks would have been like if the result had been different yesterday is Wullen for the Seahawks, the fifth-round defensive back who had-Oh, yeah. Well, so on one drive, this felt to me, honestly, when I see in the animal kingdom, I to turn away because I don't like watching when the big predators chase down an antelope. But this felt cruel to me, what happened in this game, where he drops an interception on that drive. And then on fourth and 12, after Seattle Ketels made the stop it needs to make, he gets a penalty for taunting the Rams sideline. And on the very next play, the next play, they target him with Pukha. And not only target him, target him so precisely that you saw while the ball was in the air, Rams running down the field with their arms up in the air knowing it's a countdown because Pukha and Stafford are so precise.

He doesn't drop anything, N'Kuwa.

It's crazy. But neither does Smith and Jigba. They're a good player. Oh, my God.

They're both unreal. And both guys that were... Jessen obviously came with high pedigree. How's he so open? They scheme him, baby.

No, it's not just scheme him because they know what's coming when he's in the backfield, and He had 10 catches for 100 plus yards at the half, and his route running. I thought braided did an excellent job of describing this. He's so compact and his body stays in the same place, the shoulder height and everything else, that when he swivels his hips, It's always defensive backs are turning. He runs perfect routes and the precision. Look, Mike McDonald should and Sam Darnold should take the victory lap today on shutting up everybody, including me, because that game, Darnold just beats Stafford at his best. But I want to present to you guys, all of you, the normalization of one-game samples as the measurement system. I'm driving in today and I hear Rex Ryan calling all the analytics guys, nerds, again, these nerd dudes, because Rex Ryan is so cool and everybody knows it. The normalization that we have in this sport, Zazlo, of this is the way we measure it. And so today everyone's saying Seattle's the better team. I don't know that. I don't I know that. The Rams lost six games by a total of 21 points.

That offense is better an offense than Seattle is a defense. The Rams, this is a real stat I'm about to give you. The Rams defense fell apart. Last nine games of the season, they allowed scores on 40% of their drives. That Ram's defense fell apart and betrayed them yesterday. Stafford should not lose that game. Rarely, if ever, does a quarterback who played that game lose that game. He did it against the number one defense. Darnal did it against the That's been bad for nine weeks.

I get what you're saying, that you don't know if they're better, but they played yesterday and Seahawks beat them.

They got better. Yeah, but it's a drop hunt and fork down. If Stafford had gotten... Yeah, you'd see, no, I don't do that. Those are the margins. No, but it's an imperfect measurement system. You don't leave games ever saying to yourself, I don't believe that the team that lost was the better team. That's not proof that the Seahawks are better. They just won that game.

But you started the show clamoring for a best of three, and they've had a best of three this season, and the Seahawks have won two of them. Yeah, I understand they're close, but I think I have enough representative sample to suggest that Seattle's better.

I'm giving you 50 years of Stafford of quarterback stats against number one defenses, and Stafford's lost the two of the four quarterbacks that have played in that game. That's an obvious statistical outlier. Yeah, it's not a better quarterback.

A better team, though, is the discussion, and I think we have enough to say Seattle. After what we saw from Sam Darnold, one of the great reclamation stories in I get it. It was super impressive. Incredible moment by Stafford gutting that play out. But this is Sam Darnold's time. This is Seattle's time.

I've been having this argument since high school with friends of mine about the way that we decide games where after those games are played, everyone just says, Yeah, Seattle and the Patriots are better. I'm like, I don't know that. Because a guy who was on the practice squad the night before tips a 46-yard kick in the snow, and Sean Payton doesn't go for it or doesn't kick a field goal on fourth and short. And every time I do it, the normalization of the one-game sample as a measurement is so normal that it's always a losing argument for me. Anytime I do it because you guys want that to be proof that someone's better. That was not proof that someone's better to me.

They played a game in a team won. I hear you. You could probably feel pretty good about your opinion that LA Rams They're better than Seattle, but that's not what the sport is. The sport is played between the lines, and you have to execute in the time that that sport allows, and a team comes out on top, and that's the business.

I'm not actually arguing that the Rams are better. I'm saying there's not a difference between those two teams. One of them has to win and one of them has to lose, and that's the way we do it.

Yeah, by playing the game.

Head to head.

That's all that matters, is head to head. These two teams just played, and the Seahawks have lost a total of three games by nine points. You keep doing this with the Rams and all of the games that they've lost. They also have six one-score wins, including both of their playoff wins. They could have easily been a team that missed the playoffs. We've talked all year long with the Chiefs about how it's not really a skill to win those one-score games. Some go your way, some don't. And the Rams defense is abysmal. They have a great offense, but they don't have a good defense. The Seahawks are clearly the better football team, and it would have been a shame if that number one defense didn't get an opportunity.

They're not clearly anything.

They have the best defense. They've won two out of three against the Rams. Even with Sam Darnold as their quarterback, they're the better football team. They've won more games, and they've won two out of three. Head to heads, what matters.

A punter, Turner dropped a punch.

This is provocative. I'm not sure what you're doing on this day.

No, I'm telling you- This is a strange place to take it.

To Dan's point, though, it took a ball bouncing off a helmet and then going into the end zone and somebody picking it up for the Seahawks to win the game on Thursday night. That's a business. And then a drop punt here on a guy who almost muffled the punt earlier in the game. He dropping that and then them going in for a score.

Rams against the number one defense in football in Seattle. Two games in Seattle, 64 points, 1,000 60 yards. Head to head. One turnover, 0-2 record. It's fine. I'm not actually bothered by this in any way. I'm just saying that the Super Bowl was played yesterday by the two best teams in football.

I think Seattle is going to smoke them.

I really do. But Mike McDonald is good against young quarterbacks. Young quarterbacks don't do anything. Hell, what he did with seven defensive linemen to Stafford on that last play that ended Stafford season, where he put seven defensive linemen on the line and then has only two of them rush and drops everyone else back into coverage.

Can I tell you the most shocking part of the game yesterday for me for Mike McDonald, Seattle Seahawks head coach? I can't be the only one who did not know this. But yesterday, seeing, realizing for the very first time that Mike McDonald, when you spell his name, the D in McDonald is lowercase. It's not the capital D, it's not McDonald. It's the M is capitalized, and the rest of the name is lowercase McDonald. Like, Norm McDonald? Did you know that?

No. Put it on the poll. What an interesting thing from yesterday to be shocked by. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Did How did you know that McDonald spelled his name with a lowercase D?

Zaz, so you have one of the most incredible play calls in the most clutch situation of all time where you have seven guys at the line of scrimage. You drop five of them, you rush two on a quarterback who's expecting to have some open man because he sees seven guys on the line, and then everybody's double-covered for basically the game. And what you took away was a little D.

I want to know who decided this guy needs to have a little D.

I'm with That's a little D energy for. What are we doing? For sure. Come on, baby. Here, the way that you do that, the only way to be as successful as Mike McDonald is to ignore your family. Here he is on the subject of, I simply don't have time to see my kids.

I actually think I'm here less, which is I wish some of us, our coaches, took that as well.

But on Thursdays, I don't get to see Jack throughout the week as much. Thursdays, I try to get, which is today, I try to get home pretty quick to be with him for maybe a half hour, hour before he goes to bed.

And then I got a set up at my house where I can go, and then I work on the game plan.

But it's able to spend some more time at home and be with Jack.

And also it lets you get away from everything We can see things from a different perspective, and it keeps you fresh.

So it's been helpful.

30 minutes of family time a week keeps you fresh. You have to be lopsided and crazy.

You want to be 14 and three, Dan? You want to win good playoff games, What are you going to do?

You can't see your family. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. If you want to be a champion, can you see your family?

You got 30 minutes, an hour, maybe. Then you got to work on the game plan again.

The Seahawks Sam Darnold, obviously, did make everyone eat it yesterday because as much as I'm saying it's a punt return and a punt fumble, that was the difference in that game. The actual difference in that game is that Sam Darnold was really good in third and long and fourth down, and Stafford was not. I've said now for years, you guys have heard me say for about 10 years, the thing I want most from the quarterback position is if the defense fears me on third and 10. The defense does not feel comfortable even if it is third and 12. And Sam Darnold has become that. The Seattle Seahawks are great at explosive plays. They've been great at explosive plays all year. And it has been wild to watch Sam Darnold turn into this and go blow for blow with Stafford against a defense that is the only one in the league that has bothered him. Sam Darnold is the winning as quarterback in the sport by game over the last two years, and the Rams had him solved. For him to make the evolutions where he needs painkillers in order to play in that game. He got needles because he's got an oblique problem.

He couldn't throw deep during practice all week. He couldn't throw the ball. He didn't and couldn't throw the ball downfield all week. And then second pass of the game, he throws it for 40 yards. The reason they won that game is what they did on third down and long, because he crushed them on third and long and made a whole lot of people, including me, eat it because I was doubting that Sam Darnold would show up and be better than Stafford. Never mind Stafford at his best, better than Stafford at all. And he better than Stafford at his best. That was Stafford's best game of the playoffs. He was okay in the previous two games with a hurt finger. He was great in that game, and it didn't matter.

That, for me, is a story. Sam Darnold played his best game ever in the NFC Championship game with an oblique injury for a thrower of the football. I understand, marveling at what Matthew Stafford does, probably likely MVP, if you're to believe the odds on Drav King's sportsbook. But this was Sam Darnold's moment, and I still think that there is a certain air of skepticism around him, and how can you not love his story, and how he plays, too? Because in an era where everyone's so afraid to turn the ball over, Sam Darnold does gun it, dude. You'll throw in receptions, but I do think that it's healthy with him, especially if he's going to stretch the field with that receiver. I was really impressed with Sam Darnold. We'll see what happens in the Super Bowl because that ends it forever.

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Co/audio. Limited time offer. Don Leverthard. Football. Football. Football. Football.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. I think it's also a master class from Kubiak, too, who is incredible as a play caller. You have a lot of these times where they want to run the ball at the end of the games. Kubiak is running out play action. He's throwing the ball with four minutes left. He's putting JSN in different positions to win outside, inside in the backfield. There was a play where JSN catches that completely wide open, where he runs a scissor route from the running back position, where Cooper Cupp is running a whip route to the other side, and he's basically wide open, and the defender has to choose between two guys, and JSN is wide open.

Good organizations. I'm sorry, Zaz, but that's my takeaway from seeing what... Seattle had to close the book on Pete Carroll, Russell Wilson, had to build itself back, had to find itself. Carroll was there for them trying to tread water with Gino, but they hit the reset button and they got right back to the Super Bowl. Same thing with New England. They They hit one of the hardest resets ever, and they're back at the Super Bowl. I think that's a testament to good franchises, and the ones like the Browns, and the Dolphins, and the Jets that just struggle with way more chances than these franchises have had to reshape themselves and get back in the game. It's a testament to good ownership and good front offices.

Couple of thoughts on Darnold. He's the first quarterback from that famous draft class to get to a Super Bowl, right? It was Darnold, Mayfield, Rosen, Allen, and Lamar Jackson. Darnold is the first one to get to the Super Bowl of that group. And also, has there ever been a starting quarterback in the Super Bowl who's been on five teams? This is his fifth team, and he's starting in the Super Bowl. That feels really unheard of for a Qby to bounce around like this and to be a starting quarterback.

Let's think about that for a second, because a couple of points I wanted to make off what you guys said. It's forgotten now that The Seahawks wanted Geno Smith back. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to start over somewhere else. So that wasn't even that they got rid of Geno Smith because they wanted to get rid of Geno Smith. They wanted to stay with Geno Smith. What happened yesterday, though, that was interesting to me at the quarterback position is, obviously, we've all gotten used to the Rams trusting Stafford implicitly. The Seahawks trusting Darnold so implicitly with five Minutes left to, you're not going to turn the ball over. We know you've got this. We know that we're going to keep throwing on second and 10 and third and 10 when all other teams in the league would be running the ball here. They wouldn't be doing play action here. That part was earned. Sam Darnold has earned that from the Seahawks staff, but it was crazy to watch, given what it is that you just said. Going back to what I was saying earlier, though, because I understand why you guys today after that game would Come on, Dan, the Seahawks are better.

You're sure the Patriots are better than the Broncos? Because Stidham, that that mistake is the one mistake. That mistake that he made that cost them their season is a mistake of such intergalactic stupidity that it was shocking to see a professional quarterback throw the ball backward when the whole game plan is, Jared, just don't do that. Do anything but that. Don't give them the ball at the 12-yard line because our defense is going to make sure that the Patriots don't go anywhere. The Patriots offense in the last two games is as incompetent, and this isn't their fault. It's because the defenses they faced, as Zaz mentioned, were so good. But that's as incompetent as an offense can be and get to the Super Bowl. And Jared Stittam handed them the game by throwing the ball backward on a pump fake when all he's got to do is throw the ball at the feet of his running back because his only job in that game is, Don't do that.

I feel like when I say we're not talking about it, I mean, everyone who's talked about the game so far, not this show, that's not getting enough attention because all the attention is going toward the Sean Payton, let's go for fourth down instead of kick the field goal up seven, nothing. That's getting all the attention, not even the Stittam play.

To be fair, though, there's no way that Sean Payton would have known there was a massive blizzard coming.

Why wouldn't he know that? No, wait a minute. Why wouldn't he know that? Wait a minute. There's a couple of things. Wait a minute, Tony, your coach has to know that. Never mind no way of knowing that. Has to know. Your coach has to know that. On the broadcast, they said something, and I wondered about this, I don't know how it is that the Patriots come about wearing white uniforms, but when Romo is saying the orange uniforms are easier to see in the snow, the Patriots are simply not going to be able to see where their receivers are. I, if I'm a coach, have to prepare for the idea that the second half is going to have terrible weather. What do you mean there's no way to know that? There is a way to know that.

You figured you're going to be able to drive one more score before things go to hell, and they weren't able to.

Chris Chandler is the name that came up most stops. Really? Yeah.

The Atlanta Super Bowl?

Yeah, because he played, I think, for six teams. Rich Gannon was a starter at different places. I think that he finally made the Super Bowl with his fourth team over there.

Okay. It's a good question, though, that you ask. Chandler ended up losing that Super Bowl by 50 points and had a great season that season. It was exceptional that season. But the only thing I remember from that Super Bowl is Man of the Year, Eugene Robinson getting caught on the streets of Biscayne Bay. Can you guys look for me what it is that he was paid in cash back when we took cash in this country? What he paid in cash, allegedly, as the Man of the Year, the night before the Super Bowl to pick up a sex worker because it is one of the most amazing Super Bowl stories any of us have ever seen. Before the Internet, you know? Well, yes, before the Internet. I understand it's before a lot of things, but it's still Biscayne Boulevard. Anyone who knows what Biscayne Boulevard just generally is, it's not where you find a sex worker at midnight that's going to cost you a lot of money. I'd like- We're still looking for the dollar figure, by the way. Thank you. You'll find it. I remember it was a paltry sum for those particular services that he was looking for, and he was the man of the year, and it's the only thing I remember.

It doesn't take away from him being a man of the year.

One bad night? Before the Super Bowl? Who among us, Dan? Wait a minute. It doesn't take away from him being... All right, put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Does propositioning a sex worker the night before the Super Bowl take away from being NFL Man of the Year.

Victimless crime.

$40. Does that change your opinion at all? No.

What's the inflation rate there?

That enhances my opinion.

The economy. What?

That's the inflation. It could be 100 bucks. I don't know. Things are more expensive now. No.

The deal, you couldn't pass up.

No. No. $40.

I'm going to look it up.

For those of you who do not know the different parts of Miami, I want to talk about a different part of Miami. The city of Hialea is offended by the new Netflix movie, The RIP, with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. They are cops who happen upon a home. They happen upon a home that's got $24 million cash in it. And then the dilemma follows of whether they're going to be or not. And the city of Hialea doesn't like how it's being portrayed in this movie. And so the city of Hialea has sent out a statement about the movie The RIP. And I have not seen... Tony, I don't know if you've seen this. Have you seen the city of Hialea send out a statement, does not like how it's being portrayed to the country in this movie? I haven't seen the movie yet, but I feel like any movie that portrays Hialea is going to be accurate because I'm going to find any of what's being portrayed in any movie in some part of Hialea.

To be fair, okay, so I saw the movie last night. Fun movie. Ben and Matt Damon were great. It actually painted Hialea in a better light than what reality is. If you want me to be really honest with you.

It was on a cul-de-sac.

It was on a cul-de-sac. I'm like, Those houses are not in Hialea. There's no two-story houses like that in a cul-de-sac in Hialeia history. Those don't exist. Those are actually people's different houses that are stacked on top of each other that they built and that are renting out. It looks better on TV than it is in real life. I didn't see any chickens. I didn't see any people selling water or coconuts on the street. I didn't see any of that.

It's not an accurate portrayal.

It looks like Miami Lakes, which is where the story actually happened, the one that inspired the script. Miami Lakes is close enough to Hialea. You could still tell that story.

It's right there.

It's on the borderline. Why did we change it to Hialea?

Well, let's hear from Ben Affleck on this. Evidently, he doesn't know yet how to say Hialea, despite all of the research that he has done It is not yet something that he knows how to say. We had a crimestoper tip coming after closing. We ran it. Now I'm not hearing Haya Lea stuck in this shit.

I mean, yeah.

You mean, yeah?

Hialea.

There's times where I'm watching heat games, and I'm not going to say the dealership, but they paid somebody that does a voiceover and they say something, something, and Haya Lea, and I'm like, I don't like that.

Highaleya.

Quality control, man.

Highaleya. You need un guanito in there telling you, Oye, lea, highaleya.

Highaleya. That's why you need DEI right there. Hileia. So Ben Affleck doesn't do that. When he researches the town, he goes to prison to talk to people who have robbed banks, and he grabs the stories.

You heard that podcast, huh?

Yeah. When he grabs the stories, one of the stories that he grabs from somebody who was robbing a bank is that the cop just looked the other way when he saw that he was going to be in an incident where three people are getting out of a van with shotguns.

That's a good scene.

It's a great scene. It is a good scene. But if he's willing to do that research, shouldn't he do the research that allows it? Shouldn't somebody, Hispanic, tell him, This isn't how you say Hialea?

Hialea. They were dressed as nuns, Dan.

Hialea. Hialea. Hialea pointed out, We're not Miami Lakes in the statement. And you're right. I've never thought of Hialea as being as wonderful as Miami Lakes. Hialea. It's more colorful. Hialea. It's more cultural. Hialea. It's more Hispanic. Hialea. It's got more dirty businesses in corners. Hialea. But I didn't think that Hialea would be offended by being compared to Miami Lakes. Hialea.

Also, you get put on the big screen. You're talking about millions and millions and hundreds of millions of people knowing about your city. Brian Calvill, sir, please, wake up.

Hialea. There is nothing that has happened to the economy more shocking to me than Hialea. Hialea. Being the fifth least affordable housing market in America.

Welcome to Miami, Dan.

I understand that Miami is the worst, that Miami is the worst here, but Hialeia, come on. You guys, come on.

There is this one house in Hialeia. Hialeia. That looks like a Lyon Medical Center. I think the lure around it is the person won some lottery and decided, No, I'm Hialea through and through, and I'm just going to soup up a compound in the middle of this Hialea neighborhood.

The weird part about Hialeia is that there's different streets that are different directions. There's West 84th Street, but Northwest 37th Street. You're like, Wait, how is this the same street with different You have to go out there and do a Tony.

You have to do a Tony's top 5.

You want to do my top five tomorrow from- I want you to show people that the addresses don't make sense.

Waze is not going to help you. Satellite systems and AI are not going to help you.

Their streets that are literally 90-degree angles. No. That you have to do a 90-degree angle, and you're like, I can't turn my car this way.

I told you one of the most impressive things I've ever seen my dad do, and he called himself El Ratón de Jailea. Jailea. Is that he found me a spare tire for my car for $10. Yeah, $10 by going down a side alley and just a door opened and somebody threw a tire at him, $10 cash, and that's what happened. Tony, did Ben Affleck also screw up in the movie, Dale?

No, a little bit.

Hialeia.