Transcript of The Big Suey: Bare Hands and Bad Intentions (feat. Kevin Harlan)

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry.

I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it.

And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fatface and the Pitchou a Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

Before we get to our next guest, I just want to ask the group by way of introduction, because I think the baseball broadcaster on the radio used to occupy this spot, which is Most beloved broadcaster anywhere in sports. Can you guys, off the top of your head, Joe Buck is viewed as controversial for whatever the reason. People have their problem with every Joe Buck broadcast. Who is the most beloved broadcaster going these days? Kevin Harland.

Yeah, my favorite for sure.

It's a good nomine, not who I would have gone with, but coincidentally enough, he's right here. I wouldn't have either. And he does happen to be beloved. I've got a number of things to talk about, including his upcoming schedule. Now that he's going to be doing Amazon Prime basketball games, I'm looking forward to what all of that looks and sounds like. But welcome, Kevin. It's good to see you again. Who would you nominate, though, if I made you think about it for a second and said, America's most beloved sports broadcaster at the moment comes with no controversy, isn't polarizing, is simply enjoyed by people throughout the land. Who would you nominate?

Well, how far back can I go? I won't go back too far.

No, you got to do it from someone now. We used to have them all the time. I think it's harder to do in today's America.

Go back to Gladiator Times if you want.

Good. And thank you, by the way, whoever mentioned me. I would say Mike Burin. I'm not sure if there's the established baseball voice. Joe Davis does an incredible job at Fox and Hockey, I think, or Sean McDonald. Now, these are two of my friends, so I'm a little biased, but Sean is about as good in any sport that is given to him, baseball, hockey, and certainly football. And Mike Breen has been the longtime voice that we know of the NBA, took over from Marv, has carried it even to the next level. So I'd say it's a time between Mike Green and Sean McDonald.

Bang.

That wasn't your best.

That was a bad one, actually. I saw him mutter, The pressure of the moment got to Kergaring over here. He wanted to do the bang for Harland. He can gana me. And it wasn't one of your best. But But at least you didn't say you wanted to go black to the gladiator.

There was no pressure, too. I just messed up so badly. Kevin, what do you think of Jeremy? What do you mean?

What are you doing?

I'm a Cardinals fan. Kevin, there's a viral Cardinals fan. Let's please give some context.

Kevin, I really enjoyed your call of Kevin.

What car do you drive, Kevin?

I love your car.

There was a future where I wanted to join this man on NBA broadcast, and you guys are Well, that's done.

It's done. You did that to yourself. You canceled you.

Your Trevor Lawrence call, how much did you enjoy doing that, the frenetic panic of the moment?

Well, I love those moments, and you hope that you've got the right words at the right time and sequence the right way, cadence and everything, when something like that happens. Luckily, he's not a quick Twitch guy. And so he fell, he fell again. He lumbered his way. And so it was slow enough to call. And that made it fun. And, of course, the moment and the heightened point of the game that it was and what it meant. They got a lot invested in that kid, so they needed a signature winner. And that probably was the one win they can use to build on what Liam Cohn has joined on there. But it was a lot of fun. There was a lot to that. The day before, I was in Seattle doing the Bucaneers and the Seahawks, and that was a circus. So back-to-back nights, I never take for granted the NFL seat that I sit in every Sunday and Monday. But to have games like that back-to-back was really an honor. It was a treat, and I enjoyed both so much.

In my experience, the people who are among the best at what they do, they tend to be pretty unforgiving of their mistakes. I don't know how you are about this, but do you ever leave the stadium? I nailed that. I crushed it. That's as well as I could have done No, never.

I go back and listen and watch and grade each radio and TV, and I get more frustrated the more I watch my work. I'm the least impressed with my work of anybody. But what I do like is the challenge of getting better. Even at my age and stage in my career, when I was younger, everything was so new, and you sometimes didn't know what road to take and how to fix it. Now, I think I've been around a long time that I can figure out, Okay, I know how I messed up on that. I need to improve this polish off this area over here. But I don't know that I've ever walked away and said, Yeah, I don't think. I usually come back incredibly frustrated the week after the game as I've watched daily what I've done or listened to what I've done on a radio, and I'm pretty frustrated. So at the top of my boards, I've got the packers and bangles this week. My scoring sheet, I'll put my points of emphasis on trying to improve on what I messed on the week before.

That doesn't sound very joyful. I know it's not.

It's not. I'm sure when you were writing columns, it took a lot of look and maybe stepping away and getting back and jotting notes or waking up I've been thinking of an idea to insert in there. And that's how it is with the broadcast. I think that because it happens, then you've got some time to reflect on it, it becomes more an exercise of evolving, improving, meeting the challenge. How can it be better? And I try to listen in different ways. I listen as a marking off on a sheet that I've got where I try to keep track of what I say or don't say, and then just listen as a fan might listen, neutrally And it becomes... The more I listen, the more frustrated I get. So sometimes I got to step away and try to figure out how I'm going to get better. But if you love something, I think you're constantly trying to improve and evolve and get better. And I know in this business, which is incredibly competitive, that if you don't, you'll find there are a slew of young, incredibly talented broadcasters right there chasing you. So you want to be ahead of the It's going to cost you a little bit, I think, the older you get and trying to stay current and on top of your game.

Who's the young one you hate the most?

It's fascinating to hear him say that.

Noah Eagle, right?

Who's chasing you the best? Who do you look at as a young person and be like, That mother?

You know what? And this is the God's honest truth, I really don't listen to it. Many other broadcasters, if I happen to walk in a room and the family's watching a game, I'll listen. But I really don't. If I find myself stuck, I may go to a couple of guys that I really respect. Joe Buck, Sean, Mike, guys that I really, really admire just the way they do work. It used to be Emrick when he was doing hockey. Marv, I think at one time when he first joined TNT, after getting over my, Oh, my gosh, look who's on this roster. And before that, it was Lundquist and Dick Stockton, two people that I revered tremendously. But I guess I pretty much would gravitate to the older voices and just how they might call. Not a situation or not a flamboyant call, but just the body of the broadcast and the feel it gives. I don't want to get too deep in the weeds here, but with any profession, there comes a science and maybe trying to challenge yourself. And I like that. I told my wife the other day, I say, When they're now beginning this new Amazon venture, which I'm so excited about and grateful that they'd want to bring me on their great roster of talent.

But I feel like my job is to stay relevant and current and as sharp as I owe it to my employers. And I have to put in so many years in this. I owe it to myself, too. So I don't slack off. I probably work as hard now as I ever have, and hopefully, that will be the scenario for as long as I'm employed.

Do you have a call you wish you made? You saw something, you're like, Man, what a moment. I wish I would have had that moment to call.

A game that I was doing or a game that I was watching and wish I were doing?

Do both of them, actually. Answer both.

You know the Marshawn Lynch run in the playoff game against the Saints? As a broadcaster, and it was slow enough that you could keep pace with run in the one broken tackle after another broken tackle, like what, six or seven on the way?

Eleven broken tack.

I think he breaks a tackle at the 30. Oh, he still frames his way to the 25, angling to the side, breaks another tackle at You could go on and you could build up the call and have that moment. There are not many like that, quite frankly. And Dan, you mentioned Trevor falling the other night. That was close to it. It was Was he slow enough that you could really have it make sense to the listener. I think I went back and listened. I said, Was I slow enough? Did I describe enough? Did I try to measure the steps he was taking until he crossed the goal line for the winning score? Those are the plays that you wish you'd get a chance to have. Buzzer beaters are great, clearly. You can set them up and the shot speaks for itself. But All of it is a challenge. I'm just grateful. I'm grateful that I have found a profession that gives me so much impetus to continually improve, regardless of what stage I'm at in my career.

When you said, A second ago, I check in on these broadcasters when I'm stuck, what does that mean?

I think sometimes, whether it's creatively or with me, it's probably more cadence and pace and just how they may call a big... If I didn't like a shutdown call or whatever or a last second made shot, I say, You know what? It didn't really... I'll pay particular attention to what Joe or Sean or Mike, these are all my contemporaries, these are all friends, but how they may handle it, I think we're all learning from each other, perhaps, maybe, I don't know. But I do from them because But I think they're all so gifted and talented and have such a feel for the moment. I love the way they broadcast and just how they may handle a moment. If I get to say, You know what? I don't feel like my my my shutdown call early in a game, middle of the game, late in the game, whatever it might be, it has the right tone to it or feel, whatever. And so then I'll say, Next time, listen to Joe or Mike or Sean. That moment may come up in their broadcast and how they'll handle it. I don't copy. I don't tell kids to copy unless they're really young and trying to develop their voice as I did when I was 10, 11, 12 years old.

But those guys always seem to have a pretty good answer, and I just respect them so much. Sometimes I might even dig in the tape in Summer Hall and Stockton, Aymeric, what their tone sounded like. You can easily find that stuff on YouTube and other places. It's just a good reminder of, I think we all need a mentor, and sometimes distantly, remotely, their calls, their voices can serve as a reminder.

Kevin, are there athletes in hoops or football that you get really excited that they're on your calendar because they allow you to get in your bag more than other athletes? I imagine, Baker Mayfield's on the schedule this week. I'm jacked up because I know I can play my best game.

He loves the way you simply say Baker Baker Mayfield.

I mean, it's no Joe Tess, but anybody saying Baker Mayfield always tickles me a little bit. That guy's awesome.

It's a great name, right? I mean, it's a catchy... It's a great name. But I would say that in the NBA, it was Michael, then Kobe, then LeBron, and I had the real honor of calling every season of Bryant. I've done every year of LeBron, and we're scheduled to have him on opening night on Prime. I just see he's going to take the first month off. So we've already hit the load management there, and he's injured, clearly, but that's a shame. Anyway, the point is that, yeah, you get... Going into last week, Seattle and Tampa, two quarterbacks with incredibly compelling stories. I don't need to get into those. You know them. The way their teams had been playing, you knew that it had the chance to really be electric. Clearly in the second half, it was. There were seven consecutive TDs, scored. It came down the final part of the game. And then in Tampa the next night or in Jacksonville the next night, you knew the Chiefs were building a little bit, and it looked pretty good the week before against Baltimore. Jacksonville was three and one, first-place team. Now, this week, we've got Green Bay and Cincinnati.

So I've got 40-year-old Joe Flacko, who's pretty doggone smart with an incredible arm, coming back to play the Packers for the second time in three weeks with a new team and starting the week that he was acquired. So that is a nice story. And you get used to those kinds of things emerging during the week of preparation.

You're a packer fan, right? You're biased. You're a Jayhaw fan and a packer fan, correct?

Well, I went to Kansas, University of Kansas, and then grew up as a ballboy for the packers. And when I was a ballboy, when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, I used to sneak up into the press box at Lambo Field and recreate imaginary games during the lunch hour to an empty stadium in an empty field. And so every time I get in that press box, I think of how lucky... If you'd have told me at that age that my career would have had this grouping of games and employers and time in the business, I would have said, Oh my God, you got to be kidding me. So that is a special place for me for sure. We're actually about 100 miles north of Green Bay, where we spend some time every year, and that's where we right now. So I'll drive to the game on Sunday and drive back afterwards.

Well, what you just described in terms of the meticulous that it requires to be as good as you are, sounds like it doesn't have a whole lot of fun in it because it has to have so much preparation and then pressure and then the fun is the doing of it. Have you had a moment any time where you sit in the press box with such gratitude that it simply moves you to tears? Where you've arrived, because what you just described, you got to get out of here with that. You are a ball boy who doing games in an empty stadium, and now you go back and you get to do that game at the highest of levels? You can't have too many moments like that.

No, it's singular for sure. And one, I never take lightly every time I go in there to do a game. My dad was the President and CEO of the packers for 21 years, and he was the one who initiated the rebuild of Lambo. And to what it is today. Then it was carried on with the people that have followed him and done such a magnificent job. But there's a sense of pride when I walk in that stadium and see what he had accomplished in his two decades running the organization. The only other time, I guess, Dan, I feel that is the Super Bowl. When we broadcast the Super Bowl, it's thinking of the people that have been in that seat, Jack Buck, Lindsay Nelson, Don Crickie, Jim Simpson, Marv. To sit in that seat and wear that headset and call that game is about as special a moment as you can have. I never take that lightly. I'm full of appreciation and gratitude when I sit there and get a chance to do that big game. Those are the moments that you say, This is how lucky I'm. This is why I'm in the business.

That sounds like it's almost owed you. It's more, How lucky am I to be in the business in that seat and call them a game like this and follow in the footsteps of those giants that have been in this position before me.

Hey, friends. It feels like everywhere that you turn these days, there's just another fee. We were talking about it on the show earlier this week. Buy a ticket, there's a fee. Pay a bill, fee. Even your bank piles them on. That's why CHIME is such a game changer. Check it out at CHIME. Com/dan. With CHIME, banking is done right. When direct deposit is set up, there are no monthly fees, no maintenance fees, and you can even get paid up to two days early. Here's the part that really stands out to me. With qualifying direct deposits, CHIME gives you free overdraft coverage up to 200 on debit card purchases and withdrawals. To date, members have been spotted over $30 billion. That's billion with a B. Plus, access to 47,000 free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined. Someone I know uses Chime, and it's made managing money so much easier for them. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime. Com/dan. That's chime. Com/dan. Chime. It feels like progress.

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

Banking services and debit card, provided by the Bancor Bank, NA or Stride Bank, NA.

Members FDIC.

Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply.

Timing depends on submission of payment file.

Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs, according to US news and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required. Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend Rose. Hey, Rose. Hi, everybody. When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends. I consider us friends. Yeah, me too. We're often toasting the good times. And what am I toasting with? With Miller Light. That's right, Miller Light. Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at the game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand. From jaw-dropping touch downs to fantasy heartbreak, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room. And it's just not the color of beer, which is brilliant. That beautiful white can. How beautiful is that? Is that you doing the sound of a can opening? Is that your favorite sound? Oh, no. It is a horsey.

A horsey? All right, we'll stop doing that. And here's a kicker. Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975. That's right. And still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good- Time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. High five again. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller light sound is good. Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/janna. Find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller. Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sean. 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounce. Ouncess. No, it ses. Ouncess. Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. Super excited to talk to you about the official ticketing partner of the Dan Lebitard Show. They've been a good partner of ours, and I couldn't be prouder of it because, folks, I really use game time. I practice what I preach here, people, because the Game Time app gives the advantage back to fans.

It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets, especially when it comes to the National Football League. It is hard to get some really prime NFL tickets, and Game Time makes it so incredibly easy because the interface is beautiful and easy to understand. And the Game Time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll be getting 100 % authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus, fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. You get zone deals, favorites, panoramic steep views, a low price guarantee, and game time's unparalleled ticket coverage. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with game time. Download the game time app, create an account, and use code, Dan, for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, Create an account and redeem code, D-A-N, for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the Game Time app today.

Don Levatard. Go ahead, Billy. Ask him your question.

Is gymnastics possibly good? Oh,wow.

Stugatz.

I got some phleb in my mouth. It's okay. Is gymnastics possibly corrupt? This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz.

Prime Video's NBA coverage begins October 24th with a Friday night double header. I believe this is Kevin Harland's most famous call, the way that he will be remembered, all the work he does every week. He works very hard, but nothing will ever be larger than this. Not the packers, not the Super Bowl.

Now, Garding Steph Curry comes up with the steal.

It pockets him. Leonard. If you've got the hammer, you've got to use it.

I don't think that's his best. I think his best is the other one, the longer call. That's a decent one, but this is the best one.

Oh, there's a cat. A black cat is taking the field. A black cat is running from the 20 to the near side, the 10. From the 39 in Dallas, here's a short throw down the middle caught by Ingram. Caught at the 35, went to the 30. Now the cat running the other way. And so is Ingram at the 30 to the 25 to the 24-yard line. It's a catcher on a 15. Now the cat has stopped at the 50. So is it bad luck for the Giants? Is it bad luck for the Cowboys? I don't know, but they've stopped playing. The players with hands on hips are watching the cat run and zigzag all over the field. He's at the eighth. Doesn't know that it was last Thursday that was Halloween. Thursday night football, not Monday night football. He's a little bit late. Now he's at the 5. He's walking to the 3. He's at the 2. The cat is in the CDW red zone. Cdw, people who get it now, a policeman, a state trooper has come on the field, and the cat runs into the end zone. That is a breakdown. The cat is elusive, like Barkley and Elliott, but he didn't know where to go.

Look at their trying to corner him, and they got him in the end zone. There are state troopers all around this cat, which now climbs up into the stands, and the fans are running for their lot. Now it goes back on the field again, and it's running in the back of the end zone, and it runs up the tunnel.

Do you have a personal favorite?

I haven't heard the entirety of that. I would say nothing to do with drunks or wild animals on the field. No, that probably would not be my first choice. I'd like to say that I'm working toward a call in a game in a moment that I'll remember. They've been lucky for me that I've had a lot of great performances I've been able to call, but I always like to think my best call is ahead of me, but I don't know that it will involve a drunk or an animal. Maybe it will. If Dan Levatard ran out there, that would be, I think, worthy of drunk. A drunk animal. I'm not saying drunk or an animal. I'm just saying if he just ran out there. He's lumbering. Lumbering, yes.

You thought Trevor Lawrence was slow.

Yeah. The strides of Levatard.

Look at him. Yes, he's dressing it up a little bit. So your next call is your favorite call? Did you just do that to me, Harland? You've got a courier- I'll do it. How long have you been doing this that you're still in a place where your next call is going to be your best call?

I began calling games in my room when I was like 11, 10, 11 years old. I told you the Lambo field story. It was actually our high school in Green Bay. He had a radio station, 10 watts, reached 10 miles. I did games when I was starting when I was 14. Our high school games. Then that led to some other work in the Green Bay area with commercial stations and then heaped on. So what, 14, what, 50 years, 51 years or whatever? I don't know what else I could do. Actually, my wife said, What else could you do? I said, There's nothing. I don't know that I could do anything else. I'm lucky I found something that at least I enjoy.

It feels to you the same. After 50 years, it feels to you it still has the same stuff in it that challenges you. And because you're always looking for improvement, you can't be as hungry as you were, right? That's not possible.

Well, I'm almost now to the point where I really want to just make sure that I am improving, as I mentioned, maintaining and not messing up in any way, because when you do, then that draws attention. I just do not have that angle hit me. So it's harder to leave to do a game. Not that I feel more pressure, but the business is changing and the with these NFL games are so immense. The numbers that are watching these games and the knowledge of the fans that are watching them have never been greater. The fan has never been smarter, and the viewership has never been higher, and the league has never been held in such a position, I think, and continues to grow and is the most popular sport. And doing two of those games every weekend, it's the responsibility that probably drives me a little bit and making sure that I'm really buttoned down. Because when you say something that's maybe just a little bit off, man, fans know.

I can't believe that fear is still there for you. I can't believe that.

Yeah, fear is probably not the right word. It's more responsibility just because there's not a broadcaster in the business that would not give everything to be an NFL Network broadcaster. Broadcaster. Same with the NBA, you could line them up. Knowing that and what's at stake every single game just makes you not nervous, there's no fear, but you need to be alert and present and just very… You got to be on your game. Probably not too different than how you all feel going up against the competition of the business on your side of it, on your- Did you not just hear how all of us were talking during that segment.

We don't quite have that standard around here. Prime videos.

Good call, Black.

Nba coverage begins October 24th with a Friday night double header. What is the worst attention you've gotten? You articulated it well when you said you're respecting the responsibility. It's not fear. You just always respect the responsibility because any one sentence on live can get you buried. So the worst attention you've gotten is what? 51 years. That's a long-ass time to not I have one-off the top of your head.

I cannot think of one right now, but I'm sure there are. It doesn't even have to be anything monumental. It can be just a wrong identification, wrong name that you've gotten, just not cognizant of the situation of the game, things like that that show that he does have some mental acuity. There is a responsibility to just make sure that you are really present. It's three hours of not letting your focus dip at all. Incredibly hard to do, to keep focus for three plus hours and not doing NFL and two plus doing college or certainly the NBA. To make sure that you are prepared, that's the challenge. You cannot lose your focus. Because when you lose your focus, that's when the mistakes happen for sure.

We don't make any of those around here. Our Our Internet is always perfect, and we always speak cleanly. Kevin, thank you for being on with us. Always good talking to you.

Dan, thank you so much. And thanks to your great crew. I sure appreciate the time.

Thank you, sir. He's as good as there is in the business, and you can hear why because he never relaxes on the laurels of knowing he's as good as there is in the business. I don't think of people like that as having those kinds of, we're not going to call them fears, it's obviously standards. But having standards so high, I would think he would have the confidence by now that he would just come into the game and just know that he's good at it. I don't know when that happens for somebody if it doesn't happen after 51 years.

Yeah, I always read into that saying that's why he's so great, because he's always aspiring to a standard that he is yet to achieve because he keeps raising the standard.

I just think, though, for Joe Buck, I'd be curious to talk to Joe Buck about some of that stuff because he's been good at it since he was in his early 20s and it was handed down in his family. I don't imagine that all standards are like that. He works hard. I don't imagine that you get a situation where everybody views themselves as a grinder. I'm not saying that he has imposter syndrome, but I've seen a lot of great people who are actually great at what they do that are fueled by imposter syndrome. It's always interesting to me to see someone arrive at success and then feel like they have to work just as hard as they did 50 years earlier when they were dreaming He was screaming about that. I didn't know he was a ball boy, though. I didn't know that packer fandom was something that was in his blood.

It seems like a major conflict, we're going to be honest.

I wish you had said that, but it feels like you- You accused him.

I tried to defend him.

Even there, Billy muttered it. I barely even heard what he said.

What did I say?

Well, you said, go black to gladiator time.

Yeah, go black. Yeah, that sounded a lot.

Could have been worse. I could have been dressed like Jeremy.

Yeah, that was super racist.

Triple racist. Thursday night football is on, and it's only on Prime Video. This This week, the AFC North takes center stage as the Pittsburgh Steelers battle the Cincinnati Bangles. Rar. Coverage begins at 07: 00 PM Eastern with football's best party, TNF Tonight. Not a prime member? Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30-day free trial. It's the Steelers and the Bangles, Thursday at 07: 00 PM Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See amazon. Com/amazonprime for details.

Dan Levatard. To us, residents, Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.

It's better. You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugatz. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy.

Brought to you by headquarters, Toyota.

441 Power Line Road. Second down to nine.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Hampton Farm Hampton Farms fan of the Week. There is no bias around here when we announced this week's winner of Hampton Farms fan of the Week.

He could win this every week. The winner is, once again, Michael Irvin. This week's nuttiest fan. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Keep an eye out for Lucy at Auburn this week. If you think you are your team's nuttiest fan, Michael Irvin, slapping a belt on the wall, doing push-ups. He could win every week.

Billy, you have not gone after Tony this week as much as I thought you were going to for his contentions. Why? His double-pronged contentions that he's being targeted by the cartel on TikTok, and he stopped a home invasion. I thought both- Wait, what?

Yeah, Dan, I'm worried, actually. Hold on.

Because- Hold on. Just a piece of it. Think before you speak.

I am thinking before you- That's not the reason. Okay. That's the secondary story. But the first one, I am being targeted by the cartels on TikTok. I've gotten to this weird spot on TikTok where I'm getting... Listen to me.

I love how he's like, I don't know how my algorithm got this way.

I literally, I don't know. So what it is...

Like Jason Whitlock over here.

What cartels? Mexican ones. Sinaloa.

Drug cartels?

Are there other cartels that you know of?

Canes cartels. Clown cartel.

I'm not getting targeted I didn't get any of those. Big one the night. So I'm on TikTok doing my thing, watching stuff, posting stuff, trying to get more into that. Nice doomscroll. Follow me at 10datonie.

How are you targeted by Mexican drug cartels?

So listen. So I've been listening to a certain podcast, and they've been saying, Hey, look, this is how... Okay, are you guys going to let me talk or no?

Tony, it's totally fair. I'm writing it down, Tony, because I want to tell them after the meeting, Gosh, you got to let Tony get his story off the ground.

Thank you, Dan. Thank you. I appreciate that. Listen, so I may have to go work for the cartels for a little bit. They're saying that the cartels aren't doing word of mouth Hey, why don't you come work for us now? What they're doing is they're actually sending people videos on TikTok and Instagram being like, Hey, why don't you sign up to be part of the cartel? And you can WhatsApp them, and they'll send you like, Hey, be at this at this time, and you can work for the cartel. So what they do is they'll take videos of the entire process throughout, from getting the coca leaves to creating the product, to showing you the product, to sending the product out. Distributing. Distributing. Thank you. And they're like, You can make 25 to 50K a week if you hit this number.

And I'm like, And you think this is legit?

No, that's how they're targeting people. This is not me saying. You're happy we let them go? This is not me saying. This is people that are in the information industry, in the security industry, saying, Hey, this is how they're targeting people. This is how they're doing it? Yeah. I was targeted definitely more than once.

This is all algorithm stuff, though, right?

What am I searching, though? How to be a cartel member?

I don't know what you're searching that would invite. I assume at this point that the computers are smarter than we are in some places, and so they can guess your interest based on some of your other interests. I think that's why Billy, in his awkward way of helping you while not helping you, was trying to say, Be careful what you say here because- I'm not disparaging the cartels whatsoever.

I'm saying they have actually a good-No, that's not the part he's asking you.

I tried to not let him go down this path, but you guys wanted this. So here you go. You're going to get a knock on your door, dude. You have said way too much.

But from whom? Hold on. From whom? I'm not trying to knock the cartels. They actually have a good... What were you going to say?

What podcast do you think led you to being targeted by this?

No, it's not a podcast that led me to be targeted by the cartels. It's how I know the cartels are targeting people on social media. What is Joe Rogan? Sean Ryan Joe Rogan. Yeah, they have guys on that work in military situations, and they're overseas doing certain things. There was one guy that Rogan had on was talking about how Mexican cartels are going to find people in the United States and bringing them over to work for them as drug mules, as people that are in the production chain. One of the things that he said was TikTok, that's exactly how they do it. Now I'm finding myself getting targeted by the cartel to be like, Hey, you want 25 to 50K a week? I'm like, Yeah. They're like, Well, why don't you come over here? I'm like, Hmm.

As a good patriot that you are, have you ever Have you considered infiltrating the drug cartels on behalf of the United States of America?

What's the win for me there?

You're saving hundreds of thousands of lives from all the drugs that are coming across the border. You go in, you be a drug mule for them, and then you eventually have to turn on them to save others. So a double agent. Yeah. Have you ever considered that?

Because if they're targeting you, obviously, they think you're capable of doing these things.

Correct. But if you're listening to these podcasts, you probably also think you're capable of doing other things to help America on behalf of- Gosh, I do love helping America.

So am I getting paid by the US government?

Or am I getting paid by-You might be getting paid by both, honestly.

Now we're talking. Now we're talking 25K a week from the cartels, but then I'll go to the US government, A, if you match me, okay? You should strong arm the government.

They can't even get you health care. And tell them, Listen, this is what the drug cartel is offering to pay me.

There's enough people strong army in this government.

Trust me. And then you say, If you guys don't pay me more money, I will continue to flood drugs into your country. I like that strategy. That's a good strategy.

Can you be my agent using you and your stuff against the government, though?

No, I'm going to sit this one out, I think.

Against the government, though. Not against the cartels. I'll work solo on the cartels.

I believe that Billy's initial reaction to you, I thought the shock in his voice was from the home invasion, not the cartels. I wasn't sure, but I thought Billy does a good job- I forgot about that after the story.

What happened? Someone broke into your house?

Well, so- Drug cartels or the government?

No.

Did we just put up a photo of Tim Ruddy? Who was that? Or was that... Oh, that's Dan. Oh, that's AI football player Dan. That's fun. That's what we're talking about.

68, Dan. You had a Fumbo Rusky there. What was that?

Tim Ruddy is who you made me. It was from the Jeff Saturday School of AI, and It's a joke that's nine minutes late based on Kevin Harland's call of me lumbering on the field.

The good news is AI isn't here to take over everything. It took him nine minutes to create that beautiful image.

It's not quite fast enough for the joke to land when it's supposed to.

What about a joke from 20 minutes ago? Here's Conor McGregor playing hockey.

That one's good. That guy was terrifying every time he took a trip down the ice.

So someone broke into your house?

What happened with the home invasion?

You can imagine it was the Friday night.

I don't think you're imagining a lot of things.

No, I'm not imagining anything. Trust me, this was not imagination. So it's the Friday night after my brother's wedding. Get home late. Obviously, we had a great time. I go to sleep. What? What? Okay, thank you. So we get to go to sleep. All of a sudden, at around five o'clock in the morning, I hear something downstairs. And I'm like, what the hell was that? All of a sudden, my alarm starts beeping. Yeah. And that's a scary moment. Obviously, Simply Safe alerts me anytime that something happens. And what the sound was, was somebody had opened a door. No. Beep, beep, beep. And dude, when I tell you, I have to actually update the lawsuit because I hurt my hip again, my quad, that day, getting out of bed. So I got out of bed like Usain Bolt out of the block.

Because you have a child.

I have a child. She's sleeping right next to me.

And my wife-Oh, she's in the room. I was thinking she's in a different room. That would be scary.

So you're saying you get out of bed the way that some football players get off their back by jumping to their feet without ever- Like Saquon Barkley did, remember? Yeah, without- Just like, whewf.

Like Sean Michael's.

Thank you. I always wanted to do that.

The heartbreak kid. Thank you. I kick the diaper caddy out of the way, ended up denting, and I'll send the picture when I get home. Ended up denting the metal diaper caddy. Split-second decision.

I got it. Man, you are a family man.

I ran down the stairs. Dan, no weapon, no bat, no nothing. Bare hands and bad intentions. Those are I start running down the hall. Boom, boom, boom. Are you like, Hey, who's here? No, I'm silent. Sound real tough. What you hear is the... Jenny said it sounded like a grizzly bear was running down the stairs because I made every size 13.

Boom, boom, boom.

And I finally get down. I'm looking. I get to the front door. Front door is closed. Okay, nobody's there. I get to the sliding glass door by the TV. Nobody's there. Okay, where's my office? No windows. Okay. I'm looking around. I'm looking around. I'm like, They may have gone upstairs when I went downstairs. So I ran back upstairs. I get to my daughter's room where you can see over where the street is. I open up a blind to see if somebody's running. If there's a car, nothing. I go back to the room and I'm like, What's going on here? I don't know what's going on. Every door is closed. Why did it sound like that? Jenny's like, What's going on? I'm like, I don't know. I have to find my phone. So I look at the phone, SimplySafe sends you alerts on your app, and it's a critical open garage. By the way, the alarm is blaring in the house. Talk about panic. Talk about trying to figure out where to throw the ball. So I finally get up, simply say, garage door open. I'm like, I didn't hear the garage door open. What's going on?

And then it hit me. What? The sensor fell off the door. No. The adhesive of the sensor fell off the door, and the sensor was what I heard rolling on the phone, the adhesive.

Bouncing instead of knocking?

Bouncing instead of knocking. All of a sudden, I look and I'm like, thankful. I was ready to stop the home invasion there, Dan.

You did it correctly. I don't know how to do that. Valerie pointed out to me that I do it wrong because she said one night, I heard a noise, and I got up and to the bathroom. I don't totally ride. Is it your tummy? I don't.

A little rumbling?

She heard a noise. I don't handle this correctly. I have never in my life run thinking that there is someone actually in my life.

Dan, I went down like a man possessed. I was going to go kick somebody's ass.

Like the Blade Runner. You don't go places with bare hands and bad intentions?

Thank you.

Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend Rose. Hey, Rose. Hi, everybody. When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends. I consider us friends. Yeah, me too. We're often toasting the good times. And what am I toasting with? With Miller Light. That's right, Miller Light. Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at the game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand from A lot of dropping touch downs to fantasy heartbreak, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room. And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant. That beautiful white can. How beautiful is that? Is that you doing the sound of a Can opening? Is that your favorite sound? No, it is a horsey. A horsey? All right, we'll stop doing that. And here's a kicker. Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3.

2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975. Five. That's right. Still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good-Time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. High five again. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller Light sound is good. Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/janna. Find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller. Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sean. 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounce. O'ses. No, it ses. Oh, ses.