Transcript of Reacting To People Who Paint Their Own Houses: "They Are Historic Losers" | Postgame Show New

All right, so it's been a few days since we last checked in on what's going on here. Tony, you were painting your house. I don't know if you know this, Dave. Tony was painting his house. He was trying to do it on his own. I would never do that on my own. Tony was trying to do it on his own and he just like, like he gave up in the middle. So he's— you've been out there trying to find someone to paint your house. Like, like you put what, the first coat and then you just said screw it, I'm done?

Yeah, so I've been getting quotes on somebody painting the entire house because we remodeled the house inside. Yeah, inside. We put the master up. So we need to paint every single wall, all the ceilings and all that stuff. So I looked at the ceilings the first day and I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this. So I called up a guy, he did it for a very reasonable price. I got him the paint, he did the work, everything was great. I'm like, you know what, to save money— my wife's like, why don't you do some stuff at the house to save money? And I'm like, you know what, perfect. I'm gonna start painting. I'll paint the rooms and the baseboards and the casings and the doors and all that. That guy will paint the roof and we're good. In 2 weeks' time we'll move in, everything's happy, you know, go lucky, we're good to go.

You fool.

That was 2 weeks ago. So we, uh, the guy paints the roof. I'm like, all right, my time to shine, baby. I went to the Home Depot desk, got the paint, 5-gallon bucket. I got all that.

Those machines are wild, how they make—

how they shake the paint. Yeah, so I got the paint rollers, I got the stick to attach it to, like, roll up and down the thing. Start in the first room, start doing it. I'm like, this sucks, this really sucks. Okay, this really sucks. And it's kind of like an— it's an off-white So it's like I'm painting the white compound, but then the off-white, I'm like, did I paint this area? Did I not?

And then you don't even get the satisfaction of a new color.

Exactly right. It's like, it's like if it was like a green, I would see exactly where everything was.

Yeah, you should paint your house green.

Did you get that new Scam Paint that they're like, hey, this paint's so good, it only needs one coat. And then you put it on and it's like, I feel like it needs another coat.

Yeah, paint, they call it paint technology. So the guy at Home Depot was telling me about the paint technology where you got the Marquee, you got the Ultra, you got the Dynasty. And he's like, with the Dynasty, you can clean it with soap and water. You just put on one paint, it covers 130 colors except white, because it doesn't cover white, because I need to paint it again because it doesn't cover white. So I painted the first room and I had to go, you know, I had to leave. My wife comes over, she's like, that sucks. And I'm like, well, I'm not a painter. I'm trying. You got to be, you know, give me some grace here. So I painted it again.

Boop.

I'm like, you know what? Doesn't look bad. Move to the next room. To the next room for another 2 days and the next room for another 2 days. Did a little bit of the hallway, but then we had this massive living area because we blew a wall out.

So it's like, it's my nightmare.

This entire thing needs to get painted. I'm looking around, I'm like, I can't do this. Like, I'm done. So I called back the guy and I was like, hey, look, I know I told you I was going to paint the rest of the house myself. I can't do it. I need you to help me.

I'm going to tell you right now, man, you fell for the oldest trick in the book, which is every banana in the tailpipe, banana in the tailpipe, every movie It's always in the movies, it's always a couple, they move into their first home together. I'm like, come on! And then there's that painting, and then you do a little paint on her nose and paint on your nose.

I never care for that move too. Don't put paint on me. What are you doing? You've crossed the line now. I know we're— it's fun and games and everything. You poke me in the butt a little bit with the paint, but like, not on my flesh. What are we doing?

So you do that, you do this, and it's like— and, and we got a little musical montage, like, every little— like, so like kind of happy music. They make it seem like it's easy and anyone could do it. Say, another thing that does this is if you watch HGTV. They make home reno look so simple.

Painting is the easiest thing. They're like, boom, boom, paint's on the wall, let's go.

Even in 50 First Dates, I don't know how Drew Barrymore did that every day.

Oh yeah, they— let me— what, what's dispiriting is, Tony, is how fast professional wall painters—

no, it's insane—

can do the same job. It takes them Like, what took you literally 2 days will take them an hour. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what voodoo, how, what that, you know, it's like the— I always say, how do you start out ski jumping in the Olympics? What's the ramp up to launching yourself off of that? I don't know what this buildup— I can go and practice basketball, I'll make some shots. These guys are, are all Michael Jordan when it comes to come to paint a wall. It takes them, takes them 45 seconds to do a whole house. It's wild.

So I told my wife, look, I'll look up YouTube videos I'll get on TikTok, see what the moves are. I get to the YouTube video, guy does it great. You do this, you do that. And I'm like, oh wow, he painted in 27 minutes. He got the whole thing done. I did it on 2x speed and it was great. And then I do it and I'm like, though, that looks like shit. Yeah, I did the exact same thing. It looks terrible. So today, right now as we speak, the guy is there painting the rest of the common areas of the house. So what I'm going to do on Wednesday— I'm not in tomorrow. I'm on Wednesday. I'm going to take a video of my area of what I painted and his area of what he painted and see what's what. And see if you guys can tell the difference, because the other added bonus of this is that my wife came in and said, hey, this looks like shit. She can't say that to me now because the guy did it. So now I absolve myself of any sort of complaining about the painting because all of a sudden, not my problem.

I paid the guy to do it. If you want to complain with him, you tell him to come back and paint it again.

It'll be like when we played Walgreens or CVS. My wife and I painted our house and went fine.

We know you did.

And I bet you guys had musical montage and she put the paint on your nose and everything, right?

Yeah, a little bit of white wine, throw a little bit of music on in the background. I bet you both— probably looks like shit.

You probably both wore overalls too, right?

Overalls for sure.

Is overall a good experience?

Chuck Taylors.

I'm literally wearing Chucks right now.

She wore a backwards cap.

Yeah, that's right.

It was beautiful.

We love each other.

Dave, what was the picture I saw on Twitter yesterday that some user, some Twitter user sent and said that it's you and me?

I like this, and I inquired. It was a guy named Snack Attack, and I had to confirm with him. Snack Attack sent this picture, and I said, wait a second, is that me and Zaslo? He confirmed it was. I didn't know. I didn't know if it was me. It looks more like me, although I don't really wear you know, medallions. But otherwise, I think that's a, a fair approximation.

That's definitely me.

Do you not get the, the source material?

Yeah, it's OutKast.

The medallions? I don't think Dave gets it. I didn't get it. No, I never heard about that.

That was—

no, I thought that I was thrown because that looks like Fred Durst to me.

That looks like Neil Brennan and Fred Durst.

Yeah, it looks like me.

You look like Fred Durst.

That's an OutKast image.

Yeah, shirtless there. I just realized that.

Look at your nipples. Yeah, yeah, the nipples are— is that, is that true?

I got that accurate representation.

I got the close nipples.

You were right, you are hairy.

You know about those close nipples?

You have those kind of close nipples where I, I wouldn't, uh, suggest you pull your shirt up right now. Oh, there we go. Okay, now it makes some sense.

See, it's me.

You don't want to wear your best clothes when you're painting.

I would never wear my overalls.