Transcript of PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today, we're gonna find out what this sound is.

It's fruity in the back.

You get that, like, apple

What do you say?

It's fruity in the back.

Fruity in the back?

It is. Guys, grow up. It's fruity in the back.

Right after this ad.

You're listening to DraftKings Network.

Stigat here, I wanna tell you a story. I'm serious here. My wife and my 2 daughters, they begged me to buy a Peloton. So I bought a Peloton, and then I watched that Peloton sit in my office and stare at me. So you know what I did 1 day?

I looked at it, and so I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the Peloton because no 1 else was using it and I paid for it. I mean, so why not? Then I realized eventually that they bought it for me. And I gotta tell you, way more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Peloton coaches are walking the walk.

I love the coaches. I do the Grateful Dead 1. It's fantastic. They have a sub 3 hour marathon runner, military trained athletes, a former college basketball player, and so many other well rounded coaches on their team. All this experience really shows in their classes, which are never short of challenging, especially for me.

So I jumped on it that first time. It was challenging, more challenging than I thought, then I wanted to beat the bike, and so I kept jumping on it, and I absolutely love it. I I mean, I'm the only 1 who uses it, but, again, they got it for me. I mean, I had no idea. That's a little passive aggressive, don't you think?

Find your push, find your power with Peloton atonepeleton.com.

Now when we did the drinking based podcast, we had a drinks expert. Do you smell for a living? No. Okay. Well

I don't know a shit about cologne. Well, I know about Jeremy Fragrance.

That's not true. Lawrence is underselling his credentials. I'm a

men's lifestyle expert.

That's right. My god.

Are are you familiar with men or or lifestyle?

Both vaguely.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's what you're That's

my whole life. It's men and lifestyle.

Wow.

I have a podcast that talks about that kind of stuff.

Lauren, you do have a podcast. Podcast. Throwing fits is 1 of my favorite non sports podcasts.

I feel like I've heard of this podcast,

but it's not a meme

account on Instagram.

For me. Is it? It's not a girl

Not like that. There's, like, we have a 1% women listenership. So

Yeah. I mean, same. Working at sports.

Congrats on your podcast announcements.

Thank you. I mean, the number 5 podcast on the sports Apple chart? It's just because it's based on new subs.

How did it go

for you? Show.

We don't even have

any Doesn't matter.

Don't even have it on any website yet.

Are we rolling on various

things now?

Before we start, you guys. The Invisalign's done.

Oh my god. Look at that. Katie, you're hot now. Katie's hot now.

I'm now unapproachable. Please don't approach me. I'm too hot to talk

to

you.

This is the 3rd episode in a trilogy that I wanna catch Lawrence up on.

Please do.

Katie and I have tested athlete alcohol.

Mhmm.

And we declared what sucked in your memory?

Oh,

I think Le it was

Oh, Michael Jordan's

Michael Jordan's tequila sucked.

Was terrible.

So bad.

Did you have the LeBron Henny?

No. We had LeBron Tequila.

The Lobos. Right? We were eventually very

You got face.

Very drunk. Yeah.

We got pretty drunk. Yeah.

Right. Yeah.

Charles Woodson's, we didn't like.

It was basically as much athlete alcohol as we could get. Yeah. CJ McCollum's wine was pretty good.

Yeah. I think it was. I think vaguely that I remember that it was. I don't, it was 1 of the first things we drank.

So Oh, really? Yeah. So we have to go to the tape.

It feels like it's in enveloping my tongue. Does that make sense? It is. I feel it on, like, all sides of my tongue. This is good stuff.

Relatedly, Katie Nolan hasn't dumped any of the wine that she's been tasting. Cheese.

Not a bitch. When I

puked it all up, I didn't even taste that.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. That was, part 1.

Yeah.

Part 2 was athlete weed.

Right. With my fiance, Dan Soder, who is a weed expert.

Yep. Very funny man.

Are we thank you. I'll let him know, and thank you. I made him this way. Thank you for bringing all this great How much of it stays, would you say? Because you don't wanna get caught carrying this much.

You can get in some real trouble. Our typical dealer comes over, smokes some of it, eats some of your food, plays your video. Don't leave. This is a story. Everything you do and publishes it as a podcast.

Guys probably wearing a wire.

Gary Payton?

Yeah. Like, was the best,

which we I mean, that we knew that. That glove packet. Mhmm. And Dan cannot smell.

Has no sense of smell. I was very upset today when I was leaving.

Physically cannot smell.

So I

told Pablo I said hi. COVID knocked it out completely. So now it's, like, gone. But he also insists his taste is untouched.

And I'm like,

that's not possible. Right. What I know is that I trust his agency on his own senses, and he tells me he can't smell, so he's not here today.

Useless. And so I was like, who in the world can fill this 3rd chair?

Mhmm.

And I said, okay. Who, hosts a show that I love?

Thank you. Check.

Check. Who was able to convince me using the word, master perfumer

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That, he has some knowledge of cologne. Perfumier?

I don't even know.

Something like that. You didn't say that in the kitchen.

Is that a word? Perfumier? I

don't know. He's referencing a guy. What was the guy's name?

His name is Rodrigo. I don't know his last name.

He's met up perfumier named Rodrigo, and I was like, that's plenty.

What else could a man named Rodrigo do for a living?

That's the nose nose there.

Smell. I believe you also said, quote, in a text, I know what I like and have gotten a lot of expensive shit for free. Yes.

Okay.

That is a fact. 100%. Alright.

Katie, what do you know about cologne?

Nothing. Yeah. Don't wear it. I don't wear perfume. I guess, girl cologne.

Cologne for girls.

But then again, like, I get I'm I the man, the object of my affection can't smell. So am I wasting my time Right. Smelling all nice for?

Just farting with impunity.

Yeah. Exactly. But I think I, like, know if I like the way something smells.

Yeah.

I'm not afraid to say it.

So we have in this corner of the room Mhmm. 11 different 11. Athletes slash celebrity colognes slash perfumes. They've created a whole system. We're gonna blind smell this shit.

Okay. Can we not call it

Fragrance for the fragrances is what I'm being told in my ear by Rob who collected all of this stuff. Not to denigrate

the whole like like they do at a counter where they spray it on a little thing and then they waft it in front of your nose

like that? You will see. We have we have, testers pre sprayed. Great. Each individually bagged, and we have reveals in which we will find out what it was.

Something plastic bag.

Some notes, literal in finger do.

The notes of plastic will

be different. How, like this is not an official method.

Doesn't feel it.

Okay. I'm being told to defend the method. There's a whole method. Sorry, boys. Long before the athlete weed strain and celebrity tequila brands, famous people were selling vanity fragrances.

And so I figured with about a month before Valentine's Day, that we might do everybody out there a service. So, if you're listening to this instead of watching it on YouTube, what you should know about our method here is that Katie Nolan, Lawrence Schlossman and I are going into this whole exercise completely blind. That means we're gonna start by taking these pre sprayed paper strips of the vanity fragrance in question out of a Ziploc bag. At which point, we will give our unbiased review of it using only our sense of smell. And we're not gonna find out which celebrity it even is until the end of that segment when we open a sealed paper bag to reveal the bottle our producers bought for us inside.

But if you are in fact watching this on YouTube or the DraftKings network, our producers are also gonna try something a little bit different for you. Because they are gonna show you the celebrity behind each fragrance early and completely silently, just on screen, while we're doing our smell test. So you can know and see how powerful or not our noses are before we do. This is apparently the experience our producers had while watching us tape this episode. And this episode, by the way, will keep escalating as we get deeper and deeper into this list of 11 mystery fragrances about which we know absolutely nothing.

And that is for better and also, spoiler alert, for worse. We begin with fragrance number 1.

Oh, this smells like my dad 30

years old. This is bright.

Sorry?

Bright.

Okay.

Meaning it, like, perks you up almost? No. Just fresh, bright.

Smells like dad. It smells like aftershave dad.

It smells like a bunch of dads rolling around in a field.

Smells like dad camp.

Get a little barbershop.

Okay.

Smells like suppressed emotional accessibility.

But it does Unrequited love and affection.

But there is, like, an aftershave aspect to this.

This smells like a, like a family function that I have to go to and give a lot of hugs at when

I'm leaving. Hugs with men?

Yes.

Does it smell expensive to you?

Honestly, kind of. A little bit.

A little because it has this, like here we go.

New money. New money.

It has, like, depth in the back end of it.

Oh, wow.

It, like, dips down in a way that you're like, oh, there's It's dipping There's more to this. Yeah. There's more to this than meets the eye, nose, ear, or throat. Yeah. That's nice.

It's nice.

I came in expecting, like, I'm gonna all over this, and then I'm like, ah, this feels like kinda like the man that I once imagined I would be 1 day. Is it time to reveal?

Should we put these back in the 1 bag?

Lock them up. We're done.

To keep them for context.

Put them in the bag so that we can Oh, right. Isolate sense.

Never go back and smell it.

Oh, let's get some ASMR there, Pablo.

It's like lunch.

This is and I don't know the answer to this either until right now. Michael Jordan's colon.

Did not do a cologne.

Dead dad.

That's what he said. Did you say it smelled like dead dad?

Talking about, like, male relatives. I said it's unrequited

love and affection.

Oh,

god. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I mean Murdered father. Yes.

Smells like longing.

Hold on.

Listen. Guy sucks at tequila,

but examine

look at his packaging here.

Look at this. Yeah. Exactly. Hold that.

Describe for the audience. There's a debossed basketball in the glass.

Yeah. That you could put your thumb in. That's actually quite nice. I would definitely be holding it that way while

spraying it

with the has a flask aspect.

This might pair well with, like, cigar smoke and beer pong and

Rumors. Those things are

gambling debt. Yeah. Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan. Is it aromatic? It's an aromatic fragrance for men.

So we nailed that. The nose behind this fragrance is Steve Demercato. That I believe is, a term of art for the

The nose. Perfume.

For the for the perfume. Top notes are Cypress, grapefruit, lemon, cognac, geranium, cedar needles, Brazilian rosewood.

C d n e d. That's fun to say.

Middle notes, fir, juniper berries

Fir? Lavender, f I r. I thought I thought No.

I would leave my mind to Wells. Bear.

Pelt. Incense, green tea, clary sage, and cloves. Base notes are sandalwood, musk, and patchouli.

That's all I smell I'm learning. All I get are the base notes because the musk

I got some of that bright up top, though. I can see that that citrus. I know no 1 said that, but I kinda

you know? He did. Did you describe what top, middle,

and Absolutely not. Were? But I will describe that for you now. Thanks. Because a top note according to the, increasingly terrible AI overview on Google Docs.

Eat raws for

is a day.

I'm so lazy. I love that AI overview.

It's so much worse. Tears.

It's not.

Nice. It's so much worse. Nothing I

say is right anyway.

Top notes. The first sense you smell when you apply a fragrance, also known as head notes or opening notes, they're the most volatile of the 3 fragrance notes and are made up of small, light molecules that evaporate quickly. Hot notes usually composed of citrus and fruity ingredients, but can also include fresh herbs. Some light top. That is a fragrance that costs.

What do you think? $55. $50. Oh,

it's freaking price. Price is right gross.

It's $21.30. Wow.

What a deal. So cheap.

It smells the greatest best athlete of all time.

Good. I don't that smelled awful. No problem.

Though, once you know it's a $20 cologne, it smells like

Smells like

Does the silhouette of his bald head unmistakably his bald head

Yeah. Of course.

Yeah. Embossed and also, like, some red foil. Does that do anything for you?

That's cheap. That's like, you buy this at a grocery store.

Sounded cheap.

This is a Kroger's

cologne. Wow. Now I'm I'm told, that between these scents, we should be, Smelling coffee? Palate cleansing, by sniffing some coffee or your elbow.

Is this like Maxwell House?

And and we confirm that this is an old wives' tale. Right?

I'm being told to remind you guys that we have no idea if this actually works. Right. But they also advise you to smell yourself.

Is that what you were doing just then? I thought you were, like, sneezing in a weird way.

Did they say smell your own elbow? Number 2.

Yeah. Number 2. Oh, this 1 smells

very different.

This hit all. Different. Oh.

Was this sprayed 1 second ago?

These are sprayed 2 hours ago for the record. It's

very sweet.

By our lab full of scientists.

Aquatic. Definitely sweeter. Katie's right.

Yeah. So

it might be does that mean it's perfume, do you think? Maybe.

This this is striking me as much more feminine Yes. Than MJ's Musk.

Right. Right. Right.

You wear this to your quinceanera. This is that's what I'm getting. A 100%. This is sweet treat.

This is like I'm I'm reading, Red Book Magazine, and 1 of the pages is stuck together because of a perfume ad. And I I peel it off and it rips it open, and I'm like, oh.

Yeah. This is like a magazine where the pages are stuck together for different reasons.

Okay. Alright, Pablo. Shout

out Victoria's Secret.

It almost smells like a perfume that is by a celebrity that I know of, but I don't think it's that.

Like a Jessica Simpson? Walmart?

Yeah. Sweet. I said sweet.

You said sweet.

You just said it loud.

There aren't a lot of base notes to this is what I would say. This is like the antithesis of patchouli. This is not a barbershop. This is

It's florally, but, like, not really. It's like lightly it's almost like a guard gardenia.

Like sophomore semiformal. Like, this is the scent that sticks in my mind years later when I'm trying to remember in my personal, memory bank. Sense memory. That's right.

It's a

This is feminine. This is distinctly feminine. Whereas I felt the first was distinctly masculine.

I agree.

Alright. So I think we're on the same page. This is a perfume.

So let's let's find out.

Alright. This should be interesting. We're judging a cologne by its cover.

Woah. Oh. 0.

Excuse me.

A there For boys? There are no words on this.

Can you describe this, kid? Be for boys.

It's green.

This is Seahawks perfume. The color of the liquid is green unless that's the glass. Nope. It's the liquid. It is Mountain Dew colored, and the

It is ecto cooler.

That's right.

It looks delicious.

This is for boys.

Your product known as Avon Untouchable Okay. By Chris Paul. Wow. I do regret my previous description. How much do you think this costs?

Why is there no branding?

There's Good also good question.

Did this drop when he was on the Pelicans? What is happening here?

Right.

It's so crooked too. It's like every part of it is leaning.

Sit right.

It sits and then also this. So it's like if you're gonna do that, then at least make that flush with the I don't know, man. I hate it. $12.

Okay. What did you guys pay? You guys paid 15.37.

Probably 78.

We paid 28.99. Okay. Wow.

And you got fleeced.

Stu Gautier, I wanna tell you a story. I'm serious here. My wife and my 2 daughters, they begged me to buy a Peloton. So I bought a Peloton, and then I watched that Peloton sit in my office and stare at me. So you know what I did 1 day?

I looked at it. And so I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the Peloton because no 1 else was using it and I paid for it. I mean, so why not? Then I realized eventually that they bought it for me. And I gotta tell you, way more challenging than I could have ever imagined.

Peloton coaches are walking the walk. I love the coaches. I do the Grateful Dead 1. It's fantastic. They have a sub 3 hour marathon runner, military trained athletes, a former college basketball player, and so many other well rounded coaches on their team.

All this experience really shows in their classes, which are never short of challenging, especially for me. So I jumped on it that first time. It was challenging, more challenging than I thought, and then I wanted to beat the bike, and so I kept jumping on it, and I absolutely love it. I I mean, I'm the only 1 who uses it. But again, they got it for me.

I mean, I had no idea. That's a little passive aggressive that you think. Find your push, find your power with peloton@onepeleton.com.

Alright, gals. Here we go. These are wet. These are all wet. I don't know where to touch these because they're all wet.

Oh. 0, That's now that's different.

This is very different.

This is very different.

We are redefining the spectrum of femininity, I dare say.

That is a scented marker from, from from, like, elementary school.

Get high off the

the You get too close to the blue or purple marker.

I'm gonna briefly huff the ziplock bag as you would with

yeah.

I gotta be careful. I got an addictive personality.

Lauren's gonna take these ziplock bags.

Next week, you're just on galaxy. Yes. Color marker.

I love that because I'm getting, like, what's

I think it's like the almost like maybe the brown. Remember the brown 1 was

always like, what is this? I'm not like a fan.

Could you picture it on someone? Because to me, even though it's making me think of a a marker, if I'm picturing it on someone, it's a very older woman. Great aunt? A very older woman.

The person who wears this fragrance has a padded toilet seat. And a small dog. I love a padded toilet seat.

I hate that. To have and, obviously, the bacteria of it, but remember how nice it was when you would

see it?

It's the worst. It's like into a pillow. Yeah.

Which kinda nice.

Not here to yuck your yum.

If this is a cologne, I'll eat my hat.

I am getting the sense, though, why people are into galaxy gas, though, which I have discovered Oh, yeah. Among kids and possibly adults. I've heard. It's good Allegedly.

Don't use it. It puts holes in your brain. Okay?

And you're gonna whip it?

No. Because it puts holes in your

Remember when we visited, we can bleep this institution out?

Yes. Yes.

And you Katie and I visited

a pillow and a billion cartons

Shell casings?

Shell casings of, of little c o 2 cartons.

And I went to a party because someone else brought us to this.

Mina?

Mina. At

There you go.

And the floor was like a shooting range place. Where they were just like Hell, yeah. Gatling gunning. I

was like, you're our future. You're our brightest. You're our best and our brightest.

Just So this is galaxy gas for your great aunt, which she probably prescribed already.

Do not like. Back in the bag it goes.

Let's people know what this thing is. I am I am not into that person. Alright. Let's see what it is. Katie Nolan.

No. It's not Britney Spears. No. It's not Britney Spears. That's not Curious.

I've worn Curious.

You thought.

I thought. Why is it in the full box, you guys? No. Am I thinking of a different Britney Spears fragrance?

So apparently

are there?

There are 2 different types of Britney Spears fragrances. Curious and curious love.

Woah. Wait. Is the curious love in a pink round bottle with little green dots on it?

It is.

That's the 1 I learned.

Both inquisitive fragrances, but 1 is romance driven. This is

I love that Katie wore a version of this perfume.

I loved Britney Spears. I love Britney Spears.

The curious woman, and this is capital c. The curious woman is romantic, check, independent, check, mischievous.

You talking about me? Katie, that was a Romantic?

Romantic independent and miss and mischievous.

Okay.

1 who's not afraid of risk.

This is such a small bottle. Like, you're getting so little actual products.

I wonder what the price then, the damage on this for getting so little, seemingly.

I would say this is $40.40. Best bottle though. $35.

Best bottle bottle, please.

A Genie bottle. Mhmm. But it's, which, you know, Christy and I, but it's very, like, angular on the ends. It's like almost like a clamshell. It's blue light blue.

30 milliliters.

30 milliliters, tiny little guy.

Kid, like, a diamond?

Maybe. Kinda? It kinda does look like a cartoon diamond. Mhmm.

Yeah. Well, this is definitely a Walmart thing. So I'm gonna go 15.

It's definitely a Walmart thing. What do you mean by that?

Because Britney Spears has to deal with Walmart.

Launch in o 4. It became an instant hit with the public. Mhmm. Composition is based on the notes of white flowers surrounded with vanilla and musk nuances. It It opens with fresh lotus, mouth watering pear and magnolia, the intensive floral heart.

Pear is there for sure.

The intensive floral heart.

Like me.

Is composed of tuberose, tuberose, jasmine, and pink cyclamen cyclamen?

Those are my 3 favorite Disney princesses.

That's what the, the wise men brought in Britney Spears' Yes.

Frankincense and pink psilocybin.

The sensual base is composed of musk, vanilla, and precious woods. Sensual base. Precious woods.

Yeah. That's a lot, Britt.

It is the kind of scent that, makes your parents want to control your finances. Oh, I was gonna say get divorced. Katie, Lauren said $15.

I'm gonna say 30, $30.

Britney Spears, curious. Yeah. $16.74.

Wow.

Wow.

This man knows what real America wants to smell.

Finger on the scent pulse.

Yeah, dude. I know they want lotus flower for 16 bones.

Precious wood. Number 4.

Oh, woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah.

Woah. Wow. You guys spray these, put them right in the bag? Holy shit. Oh my god.

Woah. Yo.

Yo, dude. You are waiting online to get in the club. This is

Oh my god. You are talking to me about something I don't care about. This is gasoline. Oh my god. You won't shut up.

I just got roofied by this product.

God. Crypto? This smells like crypto. Oh my god.

Oh.

It's tough to put near your nose.

He still owns NFTs.

Like, this

is so bad.

This guy had got 1 of those those apes.

This fragrance owns multiple board apes.

Yeah.

Says Diamond Hands unironically.

This is this is a rough 1.

It's really alcohol y.

I might have to tap out. That's really, really heinous. That's not

good. Yeah. You hate to see this fragrance at a college reunion.

It's just too much.

It's too much. It's

I wanna say European, but that might be too derogatory. Yeah.

It's a

coped up business pitch. It's a, like, dude, I think

I mean, it's a

straight to the Balkans. I think we should talk about investments.

I cannot wait to find out what

this is. I know. I hope it's like, do I just hope it's an athlete I don't like?

Yes. Yes. CR 7, dude.

Yes. Christiano Ronaldo popping out of this paper bag could not have been more perfect.

You're missing the operative word origins.

Origins. Holy Please describe what the packaging of this is like.

I'm so happy right now.

Our noses just

You would think that he would just go shirtless. Right? But he's wearing a shirt Yeah. Completely unbuttoned Yeah. With the kind of come hither look that an absolute moron is gonna snatch right off the shelf.

This is

We that expression.

At the top where you push where you inflict damage upon, it says CR 7, but kinda looks like it says cry, and I love that.

The 7

Oh my god. That's brutal.

That is fragrance imitating life.

This is

a new fragrance. CR7 origins was launched in 2022. Top notes are Bayleaf. Mandarin

origin Bayleaf? What is this? A soup?

Send this profimiya to the Hague, dude. This is terrible.

Middle notes are clary sage, lavender, and geranium. Base notes are patchouli and

Ass. Dog And cheeks. Spread cheeks. How much?

What do you

guys say?

I said 50.

Yeah. You said 60.

$68. 25 pieces.

Thank god. Thank god. Okay, Cristiano. You win this time. Oh, get it out.

It's Oh, no. Oh my god. Oh my god. A container. The bag?

Container. Where's the bag? I don't know.

We have a breach.

It breached. Oh, god. How

do you off our fingers?

Oh my god. It is on my fingers.

It lingers.

Oh, don't smell my finger.

Number 5.

Oh, it's cinnamon. Oh, it's spice.

Oh.

0, it's allspice. It's old spice. It's

It's pungent.

5 spice.

It is, like, in your spice cabinet or rack where all the spices have been, and they all kind of Voltron to be you know? It's like every all spices.

Yeah. This is the bottom of your grinder if you smoked spices. Oh, it's settling in. At a certain point, the spiciness begins to wear a suit.

I'm kinda with it now.

Okay. But then on the back, it's, like, sweet and and almost floral. In the back, it's like

Yeah. This back, there's a lot going on.

Baby got it.

It it settles in tenderly. Yes.

Yes. It holds you nicely.

We've been on a run of 3 straight

Ass. Fragrances. Yes.

This is growing up.

This smells expensive.

Yeah. This feels like a chance that you're taking. You're going out, and you're like, I'm gonna try to be this guy, and I'm kind of intrigued by what this guy's life is like.

Yeah. Maybe some type of performative accessory. Mhmm. You know? A new hat.

Try a hat, but you might take it off halfway through because you're crushing

This is crushed

under the weight of it.

This is the new hat.

Ordering a drink that you never order because you're like, this kind of feels right tonight.

This is Cristiano Ronaldo's friend who in comparison Oh. Is the guy you wanna spend the the your your night out with. This is Cristiano Ronaldo with his shirt buttoned up.

Yeah. Just norm just being normal.

I think I quite like it. I reserve the right to say I hate it once I see whose it is.

Very good.

Let's find out. Put it in the bag because we cannot have another

It's Robert Downey Junior as Sherlock Holmes in in the Guy Ritchie movies.

I do think that's nice.

Guys

No. Let's go. What is it?

Yes. Beckham.

You said

I get it.

Up. We nailed it.

I think

so too. Nailed it. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, David Beckham nailed it.

Yeah. That's a really good fragrance, David. I quite like that.

Instinct.

Spice. What did first thing I said when I smelled it a bunch? Spice.

Rewind the tape.

Posh Spice, I said.

Wow.

This is posh spice.

And it is a posh smelling thing.

My god. I do love this. Should we take a look at the bottle? Really good at this? I think we should do this for our living.

I'm canceling my podcast, and I'm starting the I mean, that just looks like cologne.

Right.

That was like a podge of cologne.

But but even the box, a classy box Classy box. As as

a The

posh line. This is saying. This is, like, his version of Tom Ford cologne branding. Almost like he's Oh, this is

even nicer in the bottle, if I may

say. Oh, yeah.

Notes. We're back to the vetiver. Bergamot or Bergamot?

I think it's Bergamot, but don't quote me.

Which is, like, a yellow fruit and orange, some are saying. A mandarin orange is another 1. Star anise. Mhmm. Pimento.

Okay.

Patchouli.

Yeah.

Cardamom.

Cardamom.

White amber.

I think we're missing the biggest thing. The juxtaposition between David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo comes down to having taste or no taste. This is

a tasteful guy. Yeah.

It's a tasteful fragrance. True.

Yeah.

Cristiano Ronaldo, no taste, fucking gasoline.

The scene in the in the David Beckham doc, I did not watch all of, but just have seen that scene.

The car thing?

Yeah. Exactly.

We're very working working class.

Be honest.

I I am being honest. I am being honest.

How did your dad drive you to school?

So my dad No.

What answer?

My dad What

car was it?

Alright. It's not a simple answer because

car, what did you get your dad to drive? It depends. No. No. No.

No. No.

Okay. In the eighties, my dad had a Rolls Royce.

Thank you. So on that note, what do you think this runs?

Yeah. This is a 6 60 to $70 bottle of perfume.

Yeah. I'm thinking 75.

Guys

Yeah. This is $19 $20.

Come on.

Go buy it.

The best 19 bed

resort is right now. Deal. Buy it.

Stock your stuff for 75 for next year. Tonight. Are you

way wrong? Is this

That's a deal.

It's a deal. Super is that a bad

sell off? Fragrance.

That's legit. This is currently the clubhouse leader.

Yeah.

Oh, without it. There's not even close to it.

Yeah. Sure thing.

Hey. You sold that car yet?

Yeah. Sold it to Carvana.

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

The guy who wanted to pay me

in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months? Yeah. No.

Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up, and paid me on the spot.

It was so convenient.

Just like that.

Yep. No hassle.

None. That is super convenient.

Sell your car to Carvana and swap for convenience. Pickup fees may apply.

Number 6.

Woah. Yowza. Alright.

This needs to be wet. This is very wet. Wetter than Beck's got you?

Oh, boy. This is something else.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's cinnamon. That's

Oh, I hate this.

That's heavy musk. That is Elon as

My reaction to smelling this is like a meerkat popping out of a burrow, and I'm deciding whether to pop back down, and I think I'm

I think I'm back

in the burrow.

This is dirty

to me. Pop out and smell fragrances.

It's a little filthy.

Okay. That is really not getting less strong.

This is a turn for the worse.

It's becoming more

It smells like a woman wearing a suit for the first time. It feels like the first time a lady ever was like, women can wear suits as well. That woman wore this perfume.

Smells like shoulder pads. Right.

It smells like

a shoulder pad, a big gold button.

This smells like

She can have it all.

She can. Let's see it.

If it's for a man, I'll be I'll be surprised.

Gobsmacked.

This is

a big package.

Okay. No. Gobsmacked. Oh my Brady. Oh my god.

Tom I thought it was Chris Pratt. I don't have my glasses on. You

thought how light skinned is Chris Brown?

Tom. No. Chris Pratt. Oh. I don't think

he's got other.

I don't say that person's name. Tom

Brady.

First of

all, Stetson.

So collab with the hat company?

Yeah. Damn.

You got your cologne at the hat

store? Friend went to college. Stetson.

Ugh. To to learn

how to make hats. Original Stetson, the legendary fragrance of the American West, a rich masculine blend. No. Oh, no. Ruggy woods.

About that.

This is a miss.

Baby, baby, baby. No.

Incomplete. Base notes.

Sandal it.

Musk, vanilla, honey, tonka bean.

Tonka bean?

What's that?

Tonka trucks also make beans. Much like Datsun also wears

Tonka Bell. Tesla. At taco Tonka Bell.

That's right. What do you think it costs? 12.99. 55. $30.47.

This is the most expensive cologne so far.

Really?

Correct. We've done a lot of patriarchal scouting of these fragrances.

This? This is the first lady.

This this is a lady that we should respect.

This is doctor Jill Biden. God rest her soul.

What? Doctor Jill.

Still with us.

Imagine you found out that's how she died, though, right now? Wait. That'd be hilarious. Sorry.

Not doctor Jill. Really nice.

Soft and delicate and I would

like my laundry to kinda smell like this. You know? Yeah. Soft.

Or my bed sheets, you know?

Yes. Wow. Sexist again.

I want this to make me a delicious sandwich.

I want this to cook for me.

I guess I could still be sexist even though I'm married, but Fair much children.

There's a subtlety here.

This smells like how I remember that Britney Spears perfume smelling.

Is this the romance version?

I don't think they would do both.

I don't I I don't know. Monsters?

Yeah. Fruity in the back.

You get that, like, apple

What do you say?

It's fruity in the back.

Fruity in the back.

It is. Guys, grow up. It's fruity in the back. I like this.

I like this. I like this. I like this.

Alright, guys. Marry it. Why don't you Jesus. Simps.

Alright. This is for sure perfume.

It's not gonna sleep with you. So I'm just being people on the Internet when you're nice to a lady. Hope she sees this, bro.

Yeah. You can't just be polite. No. I mean, they're still correct probably. But yeah.

This is nice.

Yeah. This is a winner for

training. It's, like, classy. It's light.

It's But also feminine enough to satisfy, again, my most aspirational alpha desires.

Yeah. Okay. Bubba was so bold as I think of his alpha. Oh, alpha.

I like it. I like it a lot.

Bubba's mad. I can't make eye contact with Bubba while

he's Everybody.

Make me very uncomfortable.

Look at me. No.

It's nice. It's it's light. It's floral. It's fruity. This is wonderful.

Almost like a peach or like a

This is like the drink you order at dinner and your friends are, like, beginning to make fun of you, and then you're, like, try it.

They're like, is this is that elderflower in there? And you're, like, just take a sip.

Bet bet you regret making fun of me now. Soft. Let's see what number 7 is.

Soft. Soft as baby. Wow. Jenner. This is me now.

This is Yeah.

Us now. Still. She did

it again.

Yeah.

Did it again. That JLo.

She is still she do?

What can't she do?

That's dill.

These still make part.

The block. Katie and I have made fun of JLo in the past. I apologize.

She popped out recently. I wanna say it was something political in a brown outfit that my jaw was on the floor.

This is what a celebrity smells like. Yeah. It's called still.

That's good.

That's nice.

Tell her. Contemplating making this for daily driver.

17.99. My daily driver.

79. This is

my Adam Driver. 7.99.

I bet it because I guarantee you she's moving bricks of this. Mhmm. $20. $26.23.

And worth every penny, I think. Very beautiful. Very beautiful, very delicate. That's why you can't make eye contact with her when you

This is aspirational for

a certain type of JLo

head for sure.

JLo, you did it again.

Feed my kids tonight or smell like JLo?

I get that JLo.

This next fragrance needs to earn it. They can't coast on so many have. They cannot coast on the legacy of Jennifer Lopez.

This literally smells like the standard hotel in Miami. Pablo and I were talking about it earlier. This smells like the they're, like, lobby scent, which is definitely something way more expensive and better than whatever this is. But

to me.

This is nice. Soapy. In a bad way?

Yeah. It smells, very soapy.

I like a luxury hotel lobby.

Yeah. I know this about We all know this about you.

I like this.

There is restraint. I credit this for its restraint.

Are you getting perfume or cologne?

I don't it's unisex, it feels. Yeah.

Right? Mhmm.

I'm a fan. And if this is cheap enough, straight to cart.

Let's open up the bag.

I'm really curious about this 1. Wow. Why does Will Levis have a fragrance? Excuse me. So good?

And why isn't it called Will Levis stinks?

Read it more closely.

Will Levis number 8, Hellman's Parfums de mayonnaise.

Yo. They killed it.

That's so funny.

So here's the commercials. Right?

That Yes.

So I It's so funny that you guys

thought incredible.

Can you buy this, or is it do you get it when you order a

jar of pepper? Smell like mayonnaise. It wasn't supposed to, was it? Like, I don't

So it is to to Lawrence's funny. Taste and appreciation for the finer things in life. This is impossible to find now. It's all sold out. You can't get it.

There you go. Just

take it.

Can't add to cart. But but they

Smells more like mayonnaise up close.

And now that I

know that

Is it supposed to smell like mayonnaise? Mayonnaise.

Will Levis, number 8, Parfums De Mayonnaise, open to the bright burst of tart lemon that provides a refreshing and clean introduction. At the heart of the fragrance lies a creamy, daring mayonnaise accord.

What the fuck? Daring? Daring? Creamy and daring?

Creamy, daring, mayonnaise, accord. Like, it's

Did you need the ones?

Yep. Yeah. Offering a smooth and complex heart. We're describing Lawrence so far, by the

way, Max.

I am creamy, delightful. Yeah.

And a complex heart.

Yeah.

Okay.

Parsley adds a fresh herbal element reminiscent of a well prepared dish. And, of course, this fragrance would not be complete without subtle coffee undertones reminiscent of Will's signature mayonnaise infused caffeine beverage. Apparently

those bottles.

At all.

Services. Drinks mayo?

He has a signature mayonnaise infused caffeine beverage. What?

This is

a thing. Right? He puts mayonnaise in his coffee.

Wait. Really? That's that and that's why they signed him? Levis quarterback at the University of Kentucky, and I have been known to put mayonnaise in my coffee sometimes.

A sensual Musk base weaves through the composition evoking physicality and charisma. Finally, we finish off with a comforting creamy vanilla finish that is equal parts inviting and intriguing.

The vanilla was there. No. That's the hotel lobby.

I hesitate to say that Katie comes out looking great

for

this particular test.

But it shouldn't be that good for what it is.

They had no business trying as hard as it did.

They put their whole into that.

They're mushy. Yeah. They're mayussie. I

mean, it is creamy and dern.

No. Absolutely not.

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Number 9.

Very nice, very delicate. This feels like a lady to me.

This smells generic to me. Mhmm. Like a platonic ideal of perfume.

Mhmm. It's almost evasive to me. In a world in which people are screaming, I'm not even sure what gender this is, honestly. Enigma. A riddle.

It's like a a woodsy I have such a headache from this. Yeah. Just to be clear.

Is it possible to be drunk off of smelling fragrances?

When you picture perfume, you picture this smell. This is

what you yeah. You smell.

Dare I say that it almost feels like it's like an algorithmic

I liked it more at first than I do now.

This is a centrist. Admittedly, I'm a little gun shy also because I was just praising the mayo fragrance. Yeah.

I'll

do the mayo is better than this. I don't care what comes out of the bag. The mayo is better than this.

We can only find a sample of this.

Oh, broke this.

Oh my god.

What is it? Driven by Derek Jeter. What? Yo. That's for real.

Nailed him. Is this We're kind of

going in the gift bag for the for the ladies? Driven away from my home?

It's an Avon. It's another Avon jam.

Autograph baseball. It's sample of, Derek Jeter driven.

That's that. Captain? Boring.

And I love I grew up adoring this man. Mhmm. But I

because he got ass.

I mean, he

was clutch.

Yeah. And he's a snooze fest.

If you are Yankee fan from Staten Island and you buy the driven cologne and you put that on

You're gonna be upset. You're gonna be disappointed. It's

it's not even a problem. Crime.

Still a hall of famer, to be clear. Unambiguous. We can't

take that away. They won't allow us.

You for clarifying. They

won't let us.

2,000 hits.

But if we could, we'd revoke it because of that perfume.

Jeez. That's

not good.

Good. Just really boring. Not my cup of tea.

Like Jeet's.

Yeah, Jeet's.

Yeah, Jeet's.

Number 10.

Oh, this is juicy. This is juiciest. Cheese.

That'll get you.

Oh, that's

what the Britney Spears smells like to me.

Yeah. This is bubblegum. This is Bath and Body Works. This is Jessica Simpson written all over it. Something like that.

It's 1 of those for sure.

This is fruity.

This is David La Chapelle. Yeah. Yeah.

This is those Steve Madden ads where they used to make their heads really big and their bodies really small.

This is a Bratz doll. Yeah. This is no 1 over the age of 14.

This is youthful. This is exhausting me just to smell it.

If you are wearing this

a vape.

And you are not a 14 year old, you should be arrested.

Mhmm. You're on a watch list that way.

Is Britney this smells like the Britney Spears. I know I'm gonna keep saying that.

This is like I Chris Hanson should walk in the door Mhmm. Now that we've broken this out of the ziplock.

It's not as bad as they're making it sound. It's just very bright, very sweet For me. Good instincts for you both to be repulsed by

That's right.

Scent of a child, girl. For the record, love that. Good job doing a great job.

Hate this.

You hate this.

Ew. Never.

I Gross. I can picture it bullying me.

Oh. I

am scared of it.

Mean girl.

This fragrance is the reason why Katie got Invisalign.

It ends really, really sweet. Like, the more I'm sitting with it, the more it's like,

alright. Cotton candy.

Get it. You're 12. This is Taylor Swift Wonderstruck.

Come on. Just nailed it.

That tracks.

Nailed it.

That tracks.

And I like t swizz, but, yeah, this is, this is preying on the parents of young girls who don't have the money to spend.

Wonderstruck.

Stupid. Thunderstruck Taylor's version.

Also, no. Is this the real is this the real bottle? Just 0 effort.

It's a travel size. Yeah. It's a travel size.

Travel size.

You know, you wanna smell like Taylor Swift. Travel with someone.

This smells like a Taylor Swift concert. This is this is exactly right.

Do you think that Taylor Swift smells like this? Hell no. Wonderstruck is the first fragrance from the young American pop country singer Taylor Swift launched in cooperation with the cosmetic company Elizabeth Arden. Wonderstruck is named after the lyrics from the song Enchanted. Mhmm.

Quote, I'm wonderstruck, comma, blushing all the way home.

Cool portmanteau.

Which tell about the feeling and the impression you get when you first meet someone you like. Taylor hopes that our fragrance will be an essential part of many impressions in first meetings. What do you think Wonderstruck

I mean Swift costs? It tracks, but I thought it would this is

that smell too fragrance, so I don't think she's low end.

I don't think she was a full blown capitalist yet. Yeah. How much she would sell it for, I will say that size bottle? Yeah. 7179 1799.

The travel size bottle is 999.

59.99. What the How dare you underestimate your capital?

Full blown capitalist the whole time. Wondestruck. 59.99 for the travel size?

Damn. We've been wonderstruck. That's that's crazy town.

Egregious. Maybe they deliver to

your house on a private jet? That's bad.

Oh, that's interesting. That's the worst deal. Yeah. Expensive and the smallest size other than the Jeter 1.

And with the least appeal.

That is only for little girls. The last fragrance.

Oh, good.

Get number 11.

Jesus Christ.

What is that? Is that spearmint?

Wow. This is potent. This is the most I feel like this is as

hell. It's patios.

I have not smelled this since origin.

This sits outside in a folding chair and whistles at me.

Man, I'm afraid of this.

This is an Elks Club.

A VFW hall.

This 1 has seen some things and done some things.

As I'm sitting with it, I don't dislike it necessarily.

Yeah. I'm I'm getting Vietnam vet for sure. Man. Maybe it'll settle a bit.

It's just It really does come on strong.

It's kinda, like, deep. It's kinda like the back of my nose.

I I I feel that. I feel that, actually.

And it's, like, earthy and woodsy. Yeah.

Let it be known.

There is something in here. John Madden or, like, some old, like, Terry Bradshaw.

Oh, I hope it's Terry Bradshaw.

You know, something like an old guy.

See this being Terry Bradshaw. Me too, actually. Almost medicinal.

Yeah. This is a this is a a guy rolls into your 1 horse town. He's got a in, a briefcase full of whatever

he needs. And

this is this is 1 of those

Yep.

A polio? Here you go, dawg. But it doesn't smell cheap. Like, this kind

of No.

No. No. It's like but but, like, home brewed.

Come on. Credit for being different. It's very different than what we've smelled

today. This is this is this is alluring.

This is the work of an old man.

Is it snake oil? Is it penicillin? Who's this? Theirs.

He's got

stories. And his own bottle of whiskey.

Our last fragrance is

Drum roll. Oh, wow. Damn.

We're gonna cut that.

We got got. We're gonna cut that. We got got. We got got. Snake oil salesman.

No.

I think we nailed that. This is, fight fight fight Donald Trump.

Oh, the bottle's brutal. What a tacky

Just a sticker Slacked on a

Oh. That's perfect, though.

That's a good addition. 2024 made in France.

I hate how Made in France.

Yeah. I

thought he was America. I thought America first.

We got the sig on the side. This is 2024. This must have been This is new.

Like a cigarette.

This is that new this

is that new new. It is a an all black heavy ass bottle. Oh. Fight. Fight.

Fight. Fight is a bold fragrance from Trump Fragrances designed for men who embody strength and resilience. This limited edition cologne is crafted to leave a lasting impression with its rich and robust notes. The fragrances commemorate president Trump's moment of personal courage and the strong message

that he sent to Americans up being shot

at in Butler, Pennsylvania. Instead of the potential horrific moment of Trump's assassination, every camera on the mainstream media captured the most iconic photograph and video of his political career.

Oh my god. The amount of money. I I was looking for the profile notes.

Lawrence, what do you think this costs?

Well, based on that reaction Oh my god. So this is a $100.

Mine says $200.

Woah. Let's we go. We

pay I don't act this the most embarrassing thing

might be $200?

That we spent $216.67.

Your gage trunk per hour. 99 a bottle.

We gave, I presume, to be the alleged shell company

that

someone Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure.

But God.

I can't believe it doesn't smell worse.

Now let's go is anybody here really good at math and conversions? I

wanna end the show.

This, if you took the amount that Taylor Swift had in hers

and you

scaled it up to this size, is that more does she charge more per drop than he does?

Mathematically speaking, Taylor Swift's cologne, fragrance, perfume, would cost at this rate, $400. Jesus Christ.

Shout out to t swizz.

I hope that, the rest of the year works out in a way in which we're all like, you know what? That wasn't as bad as I thought.

Happy January 6th, by the way.

Yeah. Belated. Happy

belated January 6th.

At the end of every episode of Hollow Toy finds out, a show where we find stuff out. We say what we found out today. And I guess I guess, Katie I

found out Taylor Swift charges more per drop of her perfume or did, I don't know, than 4547. Is that what we call them now? Is it 4540 what how do you even do you get both numbers? Did that did Grover Cleveland get both?

You get

you get

you get you get both. Yeah. You get both. Cool. You get both.

What was your favorite?

It's between Beckham and I and JLo, I think.

I'm still shook.

What did you learn today? What'd you find out today?

Found out that I'm updating my hall pass with my wife to David Beckham. Nice.

That wasn't on there.

No. I also found out that I wanna try mayonnaise in my coffee. The little lettuce, the whatever's happening there

Yeah. You were in the It

unlocked something in all the right buttons for your boy.

I don't know.

I'm not gonna start rooting for the titans, but

No. That'd be nuts.

That I mean, he's figured something out.

So I think if I may collectively summarize our thoughts.

Nope. Mind you that picture over

in the

after picture. I think is David Beckham.

At the price point too.

At that price point.

That's

crazy. 1925. The best deal, the best man, dare I say. On the metal stand, though, we concur that J. Lo is there Yeah.

If we're being honest with ourselves.

I don't know.

The scientists behind the glass are telling me that, it was pretty clear that we all agreed that the Trump 1 was pretty good.

Damn. Really?

What I found out today is that I should never trust the producer of this

show at all.

You ever do that?

Nose knows. God damn. Don't lie. Trump got 1.

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.

Yeah. Sure thing.

Hey. You sold that car yet?

Yeah. Sold it to Carvana.

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

The guy who wanted to pay

me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months?

Yeah. No. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up, and paid me on the spot.

It was so convenient.

Just like that.

Yep. No hassle.

None.

That is super convenient.

Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience. Pickup fees may apply.