Transcript of Postgame Show: Spliff Notes With Juju Gotti
The Dan Le Batard Show with StugotzYou're listening to DraftKings Network.
Wanna thank everyone who participated with the toy drive this year. We will continue to make that a thing that's less hastily planned by me than this year's was. The Santas got skinnier over the course of the week, but not less entertaining. We went from Tony, at Cuban Santa, very big, very, very physically big, yes, but fit. And then we went, to Roy who is skinnier or less less thick, and now we are on the skin the skinniest.
Well, this is the skinniest Santa I've ever seen, though. The laziest 1 as well. I don't think in the history of Santas, there has been 1 that's quite this pathetic, really, if I'm being honest. She's barely given any effort to the beard, but she collected more toys than the rest of you. The rest of you didn't do anything spectacular in the way of collecting toys.
You got some. You did well, but I'm told that, Rose has done better than any of you, not that this is a competition necessarily. Rose
the kids, Dan. Who's making it a competition?
Who who
might that be?
Thank you. I don't know. Do you know where I can find an answer to my question? I will conduct an investigation immediately. I will put myself in charge of that investigation.
Still dumbfounded. Don't know how it became a competition. Rose, what is happening out there? Conclude our toy drive, please.
Okay. So I have good news and bad news. Good news, my challenge ain't work because we're I'm drowning in in gifts.
Yes.
So thank you, Stan, because Stan sent us a lot of things. Bad news, I'm gonna have to go skydiving. But, we're doing great. Look at this. Wow.
I I think we did pretty pretty great today.
Okay. Excellent work. I, next year, I think, I think we need to have, competitive Santas, rotating Santas, more aggressive Santas to see who can collect the most toys and make it a competition where everyone gets mad at each other.
Clear where where this is gonna come.
So I'd like to do it that way if we could. We're gonna go to Juju in a second, but, Rose, thank you for all your hard work. Thank you. Enjoy the holidays. If we don't talk to you again, you're the break out star of 2024.
I believe at the end of the year, we've got a giant run that has you as the breakout star. So thank you for all your work on the show over the course of the last month.
Thank you. Bless you, and thank you everybody who donated. We love you.
Yes. I'm sorry. I I just, yes. I'm sorry. I see a lot of, a lot of clattering in the
background there. Like, you said that and Rosa's been an amazing star, but you said the breakout star, and we kinda back here. Said, well, hold on. There are other names on that list. Like, for instance No.
Welcome to the IP. No.
No. I don't know. Did Rose break the Bill Belichick story?
No. Taylor is not a Taylor Or
Freddie Kitchen.
Freddie Kitchens.
Freddie Kitchens. Freddie Kitchens. Coaching the Fenway Bowl. He's not listening at the kitchen.
Okay. No. Taylor doesn't get to be famous around here. Less Taylor. Thank you.
More juju. That's what I'm saying. 1 of our growing stars here on the network, and his Thursday thunder has been hurting. He and Billy Gil, when they give you gambling advice, they want you to win. They care deeply.
They don't want to cost you money.
It's that damn 4th leg.
Yeah. The 4th leg. Yes. Well, 14 parlays, I think. You guys are crazy.
You guys weren't winning the 3 team parlays, and so you went to the 14 parlays. That does not seem to be the way to do it.
Yeah. The tricky thing is a 3rd leg can often often be tricky as well. So, you know, it's it's a parlay. It's risk reward.
To be fair, once they went from 3 to 4, they started getting 3 legs right.
So Attaboy. Thank you.
Like, it there's progress here.
There has been nothing funnier today than the audio audience hearing you talk each time knowing that you've got a a bag full of nickels in your left cheek. You I I hear it every time you speak. It's it's my favorite when you're making serious good points. Can you do me a favor? Can by the end of this segment, you nail the dismount of this show by making a really great societal point that is filled with a great deal of philosophy, wisdom, and unique, I mean, perspective, but is also said in a way that makes it clear that you have a bag full of nickels in your left cheek?
Let's do Thursday as well.
Juju, let's do Thursday, Tommy. Thunder. Profound. Right now, let's play the imaging for Thursday Thunder.
That's right, Dan. Thursday Thunder, it's brought to you by Draft Kings. Stay tuned because you're gonna hear more about what DraftKings has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Juju, what do you got?
Yes, sir. Ski, I'm happy to be back. Last week, Thursday Thunder was a poop on the street, a stinking turd sponsored by me. So I I take accountability. I'm sorry, America.
What was I thinking? But tonight, I see, Justin Herbert throwing to my brother, Stone Smart, the biggest, the baddest since Will the 3rd dishly has been out with the injury. Stone Smart has stepped up, and I dare I say, he will catch over 3.5 catches tonight against your Denver Broncos.
I think the way we should sell this is by saying not a poop on the street. This bet we don't prom we promise we don't promise much around here. We just promise we'll be above a poop on the street.
Yes. And you can also catch this fade, you know, or not catch this fade. You know what I'm saying? It's up to you, ladies and gentlemen. Moving on to the league that needs a a 3 point dunk instituted some kind of way in the paint.
Walker Kessler, gangster, the biggest gangster in Utah, Walker Kessler. He will get over 10.5 points tonight against your Detroit Pistons.
Forgive me. On the screen right now, I have 9.5 points. I have on the screen 9.5 points, but Yes, sir. So Juju's saying 10.5 points. You're saying Kessler's going over both of those?
You know what that is? That's a early birthday present for our big brothers and sisters at DraftKings, baby. On the spot, you just witnessed a live miracle. So, yes, over 9.5 points tonight from big gangster Kessler. You dig me.
And the 3rd leg?
The 3rd leg, we gonna travel. We gonna stay in the association, but we gonna visit my brother, Tom Habenstrode Lamb. Because if you didn't know, Tom Haberstrow is on the call for the Portland Trail Blazers every game. Check my boy out. So you got to know I'm going with my dog, Tumani Kamer, tonight over 8.5 points.
Because, bro, he he from Georgia. He went to Georgia with Ant Man. I always love his game, and I know that after this break, he is invigorated. He wanna give us 9 points tonight. So over 8.5 points tonight for Tumani Comeer.
Alright. He is, he cares about this deeply. He and Billy, I don't know what happened. Do we
know what happened to BBB
this week? Because I felt I
took my shit, Dan.
I yeah.
Poop boop. Poop
boop. Don't worry about this o stuff. Don't worry about o stuff.
No. The only reason I bring it up is because he's mad at me because I brought a lot of attention to it. And Juju and and Billy, they care about this in a way that's not reasonable. Like, I I want them to just make the picks and let go of it and be good with it, but they feel all sorts of bad for costing people money, Thursday.
Picks is hard, dude. Yeah. You're riding us hard, dude. It's high pressure. We wanna win for the people.
I don't need to be reminded that making picks is hard. I know plenty damn well that making picks is hard. How about you make a damn pick?
You know what? I I want to. I listen. We're in the DraftKings, contract here, and I should I should tell DraftKings. DraftKings, you want me to be a part?
I've never been about commercialized content. I've never done it before. I don't do that. But I might will it I might be willing to do it as part of negotiation.
You're it's an interesting thing to say during a sponsored segment, but go for it. Keep cooking, Mike. Okay?
I'm saying me personally, making You're
in the segment, buddy.
Making picks and putting my ass on the line the way Juju and Billy are, that's not something I've ever done before.
An ass on the line.
That's a big line.
Ass on the line.
My ass is on the line. And guess what? Gambling problem, hope n y. Dial it right now because guess what? We we gamble responsibly around here.
That is correct. Juju, what else do you have in the way of critique on today's show on people being, mad or titillated by anything we did today? I'm hoping they found us funny every time. If you listen to this just on audio, I'm hoping they found us funny every time I did the way Amin sounded reminding me that his face doesn't work.
That was a shocker to a lot of people today. Also too, before I get to this, I mean, great point with the goat Paul George thing with the underdogs you did. Oh my god. Off the top rope, frog splash. But the question that has the Internet ablaze today is, does college Mike have abs?
Remember?
Holy moly without working out. 75% of the audience says, no, he does not. I'm sorry, Mike.
Maybe you should start exercising.
There were 2 abs that seem like they were sitting atop a beer gut.
So so your the studio monitors are all kinda wonky. Look, like, get rid of the lower third. I definitely see 4. Right. Like, he's got 4a half.
Yeah.
That I I think those are halves, especially coming from a a sit downer like myself. Those are abs. I wish I had those abs. Really?
Mhmm. I'd kill for those abs.
It kinda just fades away though after the first, like, that terrorist 2 row.
Yeah. He's gotta do some leg raises.
I mean, if you live in the ab house, don't throw stones. However that works.
What else you got for us, Juju?
Well, sticking to the code. Can you have 6 pack abs without working out? 72 percent of the audience says, no. You cannot.
Where are we on this? Like, where are we gonna come to a conclusion on this?
I mean, Roy was a big example. Roy had, like, 6 pack abs, and he wasn't really doing that. Yeah.
Yeah. Right.
Then he turned then he turned 35.
Let's see, Roy.
It stopped. No. I am not lifting my shirt. No. I'm a £190 now.
I got a homeboy named Saul, Solomon. He at the house. He had 6 pack abs his entire life, and he hasn't worked out a day, and he drinks more than everybody. So that person does exist, but, yeah, he's just not as common.
He does not drink more than Greg Cody. Chris, I was with your dad last night. Can we put can we put this up again on the screen, please? I want everyone to see, what it looks like when a 70 year old man who's already 8 beers in and he decides to do a tequila shot off of a hockey stick, ends up next to David Dwork in a moo in a moment of real community, and the 2 of them throw their, arms up in the air triumphantly. I did not have any of that happening at the holiday party.
It was a moment of soulful connection that I was just shocked by, primarily because Dwork was right in the middle of it.
Look at dry Roy in
the background too. There he is. Dry ass just watching. You know what? Troy.
Look look at Troy. Look
at Troy.
Troy. Dry Roy in the background.
Laning.
As as Greg Cody steals his good friend, Dork, there in the background as Roy stares, I hope
y'all choke.
A totally dry Roy, a Droy.
1 of the bartenders called my dad her spirit animal.
No. I I I can't believe that we have the shot live of Roy
Smirking.
Losing his friend dork to a to an older man
right there, stolen out from under him at the bar.
That is a hater meme.
So jealous.
Are you jealous are you jealous there that it's drinking or that your partner has run off with a 70 year old man? Which is making you jealous there?
Yes. Troy.
Troy. Juju, what else do you have
for us? Any critique criticism from
today's show?
It's nothing gonna top that, bro. I feel like
Alright. I
gotta know the hours. Alright.
Alright. You gotta
You're welcome.
Alright. You gotta see it on YouTube.
There is in the shadows. Joy being jealous that his, his partner has been stolen
by
Greg Cody.
We check back in with the laziest Santa we have ever seen, Rose, one last time to tell us how things are going at our Toy Drive. Then, Juju Gotti joins us to give us his picks for Thursday Thunder and recap a truly epic show which featured Greg Cote stealing David Dwork from Roy, Amin talking with a bag full of nickels in his mouth and College Mike's abs.
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