Transcript of Local Hour: Goodbye Billy, Hello Stevie (feat. Some Hot Guy Who Used To Work Here)

Pablo.

Now what? This doesn't qualify. This does not qualify. It's got to be huge breaking news. It's not just sniffing around Bill Belichick.

He's a voyeur at this point. This is getting weird.

It's not a big episode unless it means there.

That's true, but it is a pretty ridiculous episode.

I mean, it's a good find, the lost tapes and whatnot.

It's a great find, but you know what it is, Mike? It's a window into how the power dynamics have played, because I think all this time we've been saying, It's Jordan, and she's running the stuff or whatever.

And according to this episode, it's a Game of Thrones.

It's not just her because Michael Lombardi's in there, too, and he's got the ear, and he's pulling. But at the same time, him and Jordan don't like each other. And so it's like a competition for the ear of the king. It's a fascic. How long is this thing going to blow?

You know who comes out smelling like roses? Matt Patricia in all this. He's even had a glow up of sorts.

He's skinny. Patricia is skinny.

Patricia is actually a Chris Cody thing.

Are you regretful that you were there the first day that the bomber thing came out? Because now it feels like you're part of this situation, and I would imagine this is burning some bridges for you, professionally. Absolutely. I've nuked any relationship I have with the Clippers. Yeah, and you didn't have any sense that that was going to happen when you sat down that day, did you? No, I didn't know what it was about. I picture me walking in to, Hey, what's up, man?

To be fair, though, are you really that plugged in with the Clippers?

I used to be. He was wearing a Clippers' jersey in the episode, and he wasn't a costume. He wasn't faking it. That was the second episode.

That was trolling. What? No. You're just supporting. No.

I was giving them the benefit of the doubt. I don't think that that Whispering Wind qualifies for this episode. I mean, you've heard it. I have not heard the whole episode. I know what it's about, but this this should only be for big national breaking news that's going to get everyone talking. The winds shouldn't blow for anything else. It's not a big breaking news, but it is incredible context to a situation that we're familiar of and through Pablo's reporting and also what's happened during the season.

But now it's like, Oh, now I get what the power dynamics at play are, and that's what makes it really interesting.

I am told, Chris, that a lot of people here who don't know necessarily how they want to express their feelings toward Billy want to do so through song that Jeremy says that he wants to say goodbye. He's not supposed to be in today. Nobody asked him to come in. Billy didn't ask him to be in.

I definitely didn't ask for a Jeremy song today.

Jeremy wants to serenade Billy with song on his last day?

He's not the only one here for me or for Jeremy?

He's not the only one. Well, this is a good question that you ask. We often ask it about Greg Cody. He, too, wants to serenade you with song, and I don't know if he's doing that for him or for you. Chris, have you heard Greg Cody's song?

Yeah, and it's a tearjerker.

Oh, no. We're going to start sad.

Strap it on, boys.

It's a turker.

Strap what on?

Is something happening with Billy? You became the Duke as you vaulted higher, a useless sound not hard to find. Our love for you, it was forged in fire every time you blew your mind. Skeptical at times, but nuance always knows how to make us feel without you on the show. You won't be Black Jack, our favorite hypochondriac. So bang those pots and pans into the sky. To go where apple pies and eagles fly, it's hard to say goodbye. An onion won't be the thing to make us cry, when it's hard to say goodbye.

♪ I got no shot today. I got no shot Are there being any good today. Billy, it was a tearjerker.

It was a tearjerker.

And just tap into that emotional repression of yours.

It was the forged in fire for me. Think of the bad moments.

Well, we've got top five things Billy won't miss. Do you want to just start the show there?

No, we can build it. It's a couple of LIs.

Okay. Last night was a great night for Old Guy in sports. Actually, three old arms. Three old arms, because I'm going to throw Aaron Rodgers throwing a Hale Mary 70 yards in there. That was crazy. The biggest story from last night was Scherzer, but we'll get to all of that.

No, the throw from Aaron Rodgers.

What a great incomplete pass. If he had five more yards, it got in the back of the end zone open, by the way. He had five more yards. I think their odds in the AFC went down after watching that incomplete.

Dare I say, the greatest incomplete pass ever.

I don't know. He's had a couple of those.

That one was pretty incredible. Watching Flacko go into the wayback machine and have the bangles make it look easy was legitimately confusing to me. Like, wait a minute. How can Flacko be burrowed for a day? Nobody can throw for 350 yards unless they're trying to come from behind. What do you mean he's going to do it all game? Everyone's going to be open whenever Flacko wants them to be open because no one can cover Jamal Chase. Oh, that's right. No one can cover Jamal Chase.

How bad is Browning? Chase had 23 targets in this game. Insane. My favorite subplot of the NFL season is this war between Joe Flacko and Mike Tomlin that has been right under our noses, but we haven't paid attention to it, really.

Well, let's get to these sounds in a second, because how does it escape our attention that we found the guy that makes Mike Tomlin blink? Clearly, Mike Tomlin is afraid of Flacko, and for good reason. He's been trying to warn us. He's been telling us for years, certain things won't allow you to get out of the stadium. One of them is Flacko. And get the sound here. We haven't played much of this sound of him, Tomlin, before this game. Just warning us again and again, I don't want any part of Flacko. Please, you guys, don't injure Anthony Richardson. I don't want Flacko in the game. I'm afraid of the veteran quarterback. To be honest, it was shocking to me.

Andrew Barry must be a lot smarter than me or us because it doesn't make sense to me to trade a quarterback that you think enough of to make your opening day starter to a division opponent that's hurting in that area. But that's just my personal feelings. He's like, Hey, Browns, why are you trading him to the bangles? He said it before the game, and look what we saw.

That's as afraid as we've ever heard that man. That man who's never had a losing season in our most violent sport, who wins every season. We've never heard him afraid of anybody except clearly Joe Flacko. Make no mistake about it, because weeks before that, he told us, Yeah, we were trying to keep their other young quarterback healthy because we didn't want to see Flacko.

A year ago, we're playing in Indianapolis, man, and I comment to the guys that, Keep Richerson upright. Don't put Flacko in the game, and Flacko ended up in the game.

Has someone ever won a comeback player of the year because of the comeback within one singular season? He's just coming back from being with the Browns.

Do you know how hard it is to be better than the comeback player that you already are that you won over a guy who died on the field and came back?

Talk about breathing life in a franchise. That's what Joe Flacko does. A breath of fresh air, a breath of new life for NFL franchises.

Tone, the bangles now are in play. All of a sudden-They're back, baby.

All of a sudden, we're all like three and four.

Can he get him to burrow? Can Flacko just get him to burrow?

The Bridge quarterback we needed, the 40-year-old. He is the living embodiment of Marty McFly's parents kissing at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. The bangles season is disappearing. I was like, Oh, my God.

I don't feel so good, Doc.

They kiss like, Earth Angel, Earth Angel.

I need Pablo to investigate the urban legend surrounding Joe Flacko's Comeback Player of the Year win, because in league circles, there was chatter that Joe Flacko was supposed to, if he won the award, give it to Demar Hamlin in a nice moment. And as the urban legend goes, Flack was like, Get out of here. This is my award. I want it.

The only way to do better than win Comeback Player of the Year over a guy who came back from the dead is to be able to come back from the Browns, Tried to wreck you at the end, and you wouldn't let it happen. Now you're out there roaming around, and your remains are literally haunting the man that we thought Mike Tomlin had no fear. He's clearly haunted by the idea, You guys are really going to give him the division? I had it right there. It was going to be five and We were going to bury the bangles forever, and I can't because now Flocko's roaming around in the division. And oh, my God, they've got good receivers. Oh, my God, they gave all their money to the receiver. So I thought, I'm looking forward to talking to Dominique Foxworth about this because the game I watched last night, I thought Jalen Ramsey played well. But Tee Higgins is really good. And on that last play, Tee Higgins has also paid a huge amount of money to make that last play. And I'd like to know, what is your measurement, guys, on the game Jalen Ramsey played last night?

Because with the running game the Bengals had, their corners were on an island and didn't have a real chance. But the one that had no chance was whoever's guarding Jamar Chase. They decided Ramsey's going to be on Higgins, and he slowed Higgins. But not if Higgins and Chase are going to be what they've been for three seasons that are the reason the Bengals paid them all that money. Tony, yes or no, Jalen Ramsey played a good game last night. Yeah.

Look, It's hard to play a good game when you're constantly getting beat by two really great receivers. As a corner, it's a failure position. It's almost like hitting 300. You're going to fail 70% of the time, but you're still going to hit 300. As a good corner, you fail more than you succeed.

But when you do succeed, it's big. It just feels like when you're getting 23 targets, that's usually never happening to somebody you're guarding.

I can't believe how easy the bangles made offense look last night. But I do want to spend today making sure while we celebrate old people Bill, we celebrate as well that Billy Gill has a montage of things here, of sounds that we have.

It's a connection to old people there. You are getting older.

Yeah, that sometimes... You can't dispute what Tony said there. You can't say it. You are getting older. Am I?

Are you getting younger?

Some would say.

We have sound here of Billy's first words on the program as we go full nostalgic and biographical. Billy, do you have any recollection whatsoever? Do you have any context for the sound that we're going to play? Do you remember your first words on the program? No. Have you seen this? Do you know anything about what Chris Cody has dug up here that are your first sounds on the program?

I don't. I remember starting, though, off with a confidence that was uncommon to most people. The vault, and it is a vault. That's what Strug and Mary Lou Retten did. The vault is the vault. It's a form of the pommel horse without the handles. The pommel horse horse is only used in men's gymnastics.

Okay, so you can't vault off the pommel horse? You can in female gymnastics, but the horse without the handles.

It serves a dual purpose. Sort of.

We need to get to the bottom of this. I cannot have this leaking into the next segment. Just tell me so that I can get it out of my brain and move on to other topics. Please, Billy, not just tell me. Can you vault off the pommel horse? Does anybody do this?

They used to, but not anymore. Okay.

Not an answer.

They used to.

You can if you're an idiot. All right, moving on.

No, you want to keep it right here?

No, I don't want to. That's the first time he ever spoke.

How many Billy- Then there was a texter. The next segment, People Were Not Happy with Billy.

Texter writes in. I believe we can all agree with this. Billy is the worst. Billy just uttered a couple of syllabus there, but already you have turned on him. His Billy's radio debut. I'm pretty sure that was Billy's radio debut on our program. He uttered about four syllabus total. I thought he was efficient and funny, to be honest. People don't want to hear from anybody who isn't us. They have turned on Billy for using the same microphone that they complain that Mike Ryan sometimes turns on. Boy, things have gotten out of control around here in terms of how much the people speak. Billy, how many shows did you go without speaking? How many shows did you work here?

For two years. You used to have to earn. Yeah. I was on this show for the two plus years before I said anything, sitting in the corner with Stevie, who could barely log the show. Just answering the phone, even that, I'd have to type in the description.

That was quite the producer battle. Stevie. King of the Mountain, who wants it, boys? You were Stevie.

You and Stugat just wanted to be Stevie's friend the whole time. Man, Stevie's so hot. I'm like, What's wrong with you guys?

I invited Stevie to my wedding.

I don't feel like it's fair to group me and you and Stugat thought that Stevie was so hot.

He was so bad. But we just love the vibes. He's like, Hey, man, I forgot to log this show today. You do use Stevie. You're doing great.

You guys treated him also like Joe. He's like, How the lady is treating you, Stevie? He's like, Yeah, I live this weekend. Like, Ah, Stevie.

His dad was friends with Stugats. Stevie.

Vibes. He works hard.

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On says.

No, it says. Oh, it says.

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That's not true at all.

That is absolutely not true. I feel like it's true. There's no special trees in the middle of nowhere.

This is nonsense.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Let's get some video here of people and also more recently, because Billy and Zaz had a moment the other day that I want to replay because I'm pretty sure it was the introduction of the mouthpieces.

The Dentec bucket mouthpiece, yeah.

Yeah, but let's play some of that back. Going back to the Clevelander, let's celebrate Bipo for a second. This is something that we can make happen, right?

Bro, you take a turnover chain, you put on the Cuban flag beanie, and that's it. You walk out with Jorge, and that's it. Bim, bam, boom.

You got to give him a Cuban flag beanie.

He's going to quit before the fight even starts because he's going to see what's up. As soon as you walk to the ring with him, you take a gasuela, you start making his... Let me fight it. Hold on.

Lots of bands. You just go. You just go.

That's how you need to go to the ring. You're not going to the fight. You don't have this, you don't have this in you. You just broke something. Yeah, that's right. And guess what else is going to get broken? Nate's face is going to get broken. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, so I'm going to train with Guillermo.

How do I handle today weaving between sports and celebrating what is obviously an emotional last day for all of us without allowing the emotion to get in the way of an emotional last day for all of us?

Wait, whose last day is it? Eve's. I know. I saw that email. I was crushed. Shout out to Eve Wolf. Thank you for your service.

We should have made this a Stevie Coltoon tribute.

Oh, my God.

I want to learn more about the Stevie character. I've never heard of him.

He's the best. Recently got married.

Congratulations. They tied him down, huh? You didn't get the invite back? Man. Wow.

I was a little raw about that, to be honest. By the way, Kevin Nagandi says congratulations, Billy. Oh, thanks. Ran to him last night, the great Kevin Nagandi.

Wow. Didn't we accuse him of putting a mirror over his bed? Yeah. I think that was me.

Kevin Nagandi, we were saying, who at ESPN most looks like they have a mirror over their bed?

But he looks at himself. He's just looking at his face.

No one's ever been more excited to see us in Bristol than Kevin Nagandi. It was awesome. Yeah, it was so nice. With Victor Cruz, who could not have cared less about it at all. Frankly, hold on. Bristol's so weird. I loved it. It's so weird. Just walk around the corner like, Oh, there's Linda Cohn. I went down a Billy Rabbit hole last night on YouTube. Anyone else do that? Why? Now, I did stumble into a best of montage of myself, but I got a good 10 minutes into Billy Montage. You thought about quitting. How long was that?

30 seconds?

No, it was like 19 minutes, actually. 19 minutes of Chris Chris? When I got fired, someone made it. Oh, wow.

So this is all pre. Got it. Can you tell me, Mike Ryan, if during your dinner with Kevin Nagandi, anything presented itself that made it more accurate, what we've just alleged, that not only is Kevin Nagandi, the person ESPN, most likely to have a mirror on their roof in their bedroom, but a means contention that it's not to have sex. It's just so that he can see himself in the mirror because- Good morning, Kevin. Television is the vanity business. That's right. Looking good, Kevin. If you weren't up there, I'd love to have sex with you. You look so good.

I don't know why I made him Joe Tess. You look great.

A couple of things popped up from that interaction with Kevin Nagandi. I was, as a goof, we were at Joe's and I was wearing a bib. That's not cool when a guy... It's like that scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I wish I wasn't wearing this effing shirt. I was wearing a bib the entire time. And also, Dan, congratulations. You're at the point now where people ask, How's Dan?

With that face? Yeah.

Is Dan okay?

Like, sucking teeth?

How's Dan?

The way people ask me about poppy? Yeah.

How's How's Dan?

While you were wearing a bib.

While I was wearing a bib. Just living high. I'm like, Vibes are good. We got another deal.

Can you believe it?

It dawned on me that I used to work at the same company as Kevin Nagandi. I'm like, What a weird time. I don't feel like I was a member of ESPN all that much because we were working in the Clevelander. But I'm like, Yeah, it's my old coworker, Kevin Nagandi. It was weird.

Well, you've heard Billy A day walking around Bristol and walking around a corner and seeing Linda Cohn, I'm guessing, is like Billy's children walking around Disney World and seeing Mickey Mouse at the breakfast.

No, they're terrified of the characters. Kids are scared of those things. Kids are weird, man. It really is. They talk about Mickey, Mickey, Minute, Minute. Then they go see Mickey, Minute, they start crying. It's like, Jesus Christ. My earliest, literally, well, one of my earliest memories went to Disney World, saw Goofy, wouldn't shake his hand because I thought he was going to bite I was two years old.

I was 37. That's not a joke, man. I got the ball. I was in the Sun's front office at the time. This was last week. Billy, I'd like to hear more stories about you as the person who didn't speak on air here for two years, walking around Bristol for the first time, feeling disoriented because you didn't actually feel that we were a part of anything that ESPN was because we didn't feel like we belonged up there in the big league, I guess?

Well, those are different errors. We ended up at ESPN after he had already been talking. Bristol, though, I remember some Bristol memories that we had. We went on a trip that we had a meeting. Me and Roy showed up at the meeting. Chris was nowhere to be found. We then found him in the commissary, the eating area. This is not true. It's called the caf. This is not true. With Tony Collins. He's like, I found Tony Collins. We're doing a tour We're recording some tent. I was like, That's a good idea. You should do that. Then he went after me. I missed the meeting? Yeah. I forgot who was it. He found that now. It was the sales guy. He found that now. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I wasn't invited to that one. I remember that, and then I remember scurring about our last day. It ended up being our last day ever in Bristol, but scurrying about our last day in Bristol to find a studio to do the music dome because that was when we were doing the music dome. We got in trouble for that. We did get in trouble for that.

The original idea was to do it at the sports center desk. The real one? Yeah. Dc2? Yeah. You can't get in there. They were very much like, You will not be doing that. Then we found another studio, and they were like, You will not be doing that. Then we just kept walking around, and someone's like, Hey, I work in the control room of a studio. You want to use our studio? We're like, Absolutely. It was Matthew Berry's fantasy studio. That was the puppet show. Then we started playing with the puppet, and we started playing with all of the knobs and everything. I think Daniel Dopp, isn't he? Not to ruin our sources. I think he may have been the one that gave us access.

He's not there anymore.

Is he still there? He's doing a great job on fantasy focus. One of their main fantasy talents now. How about that, man? Way to keep up. That's my guy, man. You met Daniel Dopp? It doesn't seem like he is your guy. Great guy. Dopp's my guy, man. You never met Dopp, Dan? You would have loved Dopp. We're going to talk to Matheo Burn a little bit.

He engineered the show in New York. That's my Dopp. He engineered the live show in New York.

Yeah, he was there. He loved working with us.

You got in trouble your first day on the campus.

No, our last day ever. Yeah, and we got some strongly worded emails after the fact for just crashing a set and not going through the proper protocol and furthermore, playing with puppets that we should not have been playing with.

But it's like the sports center set is like a vault. I haven't been there enough to actually know these things. The real sports center set The one they've had for the last six or seven years. When you guys went, it probably would have been brand new.

It's massive, it's very expensive, and you can't just walk in there.

But even if you work there?

Even if you work there, man, that's a crown jewel.

But Billy was an employee.

That so does everyone else. You have to be an employee to be in the building.

I know, but why wouldn't employees be... If somebody in our building, not that we're ESPN, but if you needed to walk into one of our studios, people would walk in and out of our studio videos. Is it because it's this precious heirloom that that set is a recognizable set, and so no employee is allowed on it without a frisking, and you got to go through an X-ray, and you got to go through bureaucracy? Security and security. Now you get it.

I mean, you could stumble onto the set, but you had to keep walking. But we definitely were not going to be using the set to tell people the thing of a jig was Victor Ola Deepo.

Don't remember that. I have now seen over the course of this week a couple of times, and I did not know it before seeing it a couple of times, though I could have suspected it, but I did believe in you, and I can be naive this way. You clearly pulled that ladder over during your dancing with the stars up No, false.

Dancing with the stars.

Absolutely pulled the ladder. What up, Stevie?

It almost killed you, by the way. Mass singer. Stevie's on FaceTime. Stevie's on FaceTime, Dan. Stevie. He is a handsome guy. Stevie, Amine says, What's up? Well, that's a good-looking guy, man. Come back, Stevie. Stevie, the seat's open How are you? Oh, he's got a beard now. Steve's going to be here on Monday, Dan. Just you wait and see. Hopefully, you don't need the show to be long. Zoom in on that. There you go. That's a handsome guy. No wonder. It looks like Mike Fuentes.

He looks all mature. Stevie, you're on the air, pal.

Handsome Mike Fuentes.

What's up, boys? I love Stevie. Yeah. I love Stevie. Yeah.

Your vibes as always, pal.

Old Home Week. The old crew is back. I love it. How the girls treat you, Stevie? You guys miss me that much. I love you. Yeah.

Hey, congrats on being married. Where was my invite, though? Invite for invite.

Oh, yeah. That is true. We missed the invite for invite, man.

For real, man.

I'll be in the next DJ gig, man.

You know that. Yeah. Do you agree that Kevin Nagandi?

Who? The Matt Singer was the Matt Singer. He was dancing with How can I get that wrong? We should do Billy's top five times we got in trouble at ESPN, given that-We? How many of us?

I didn't get us in trouble.

We know number one. Starting with the Matt Singer The Mass Singer the day after the Super Bowl is one of the times you told me we got in trouble, and I didn't know we got in trouble. We started with the mast singer after the Super Bowl because you're so good at doing the mast singer. I believe that's when the ladder came down on close to me. Is it not? Or was that a different time?

No, that was the time. That was like season three or season four, I think. The ladder thing was when we were running out of things to do. Then we saw a ladder in there, and actual people was in there, and I was like, I want to make this guy laugh. Let me pull down that ladder. I remember this. I mean, no ladder fell. I could say this now.

Billy reached the point where he didn't want to do it anymore. He hated the bit, so he just tried to sabotage it.

And that was the ladder. A common thread.

Yeah, it tends to happen, usually by his own design or by Joaquin Gonzales's.

That guy.

It's a bit passive-aggressive because that skit was not my idea. I still don't know what the difference is between dancing with the stars and the mass singer. We were only doing that because you liked the mask singer. You got tired of it and didn't tell me. Just we were doing it because you didn't like the mask singer.

Very clearly, it's a mask.

No, hold on a second. We were doing the mask singer because it was a pop culture moment, and that was us connecting with what was going on in pop culture at the time. However, pop culture continued to move on, and we did not. We just continued doing the mask singer over and over again. I will say that when COVID came, while it was horrible, and we lost all of those people, and it was a terrible situation, all those lives lost. You're good. We also lost the ability to do the Mass Singer updates, the music dome, and I could not have been happier for the situation. He would take so many notes. I'm telling you, there would be pages of notes. Look at the legal pad. It was so unpleasant watching it at the end. That wasn't a bit. There were pages of notes. Yeah, too many. You guys didn't even want all the information, but I had to give you all the clues so that we could guess along to figure out who the Mass Singer was. That actually was Stingamajig.

You clearly grabbed that ladder. It's obvious now. The investigation Pablo Tori finds out has learned that ladder was purposely... I didn't know at the time because it happened behind me. I thought it was a mistake. I really did. I believed it was a mistake. It's like when an offensive player pulls his defender.

I want to relive it with audio here. Let's listen to the ladder fall. The tree. All right. The tree.

Was the tree the cue? All right.

The tree. So expertly done only because I was not looking at you. The tree. Did I not recognize that you were doing that on purpose? Now, upon further listening, if you only have audio, see if you see and can hear where it is that Billy is fiddling around and grabbing for a ladder that was already supposed to fall because he missed it the first time he purposely grabbed it.

The tree. The tree. All right. The tree. All right. The ladder missed his cue. For a total eclipse of the heart.

The tree. The tree. How can we describe it.

Don Levatard. That was a long story. Yeah?

It's the only kind he tells.

It was for a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys.

You I forgot about the League's Cup.

Stugats. La Careta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the '97 Marlin celebration because it was La Vana and the Nantes.

Well, when Fidel died the first time. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Play the sound of Zaz and Billy arguing.

This is an all-time clip right here. Honestly, when you had the Swap Helmet and he was in the studio, I was hoping you guys could recreate the magic.

Swap Helmet is supposed to be a good thing. You're swapping with a person. I'mnot the team. You're swapping with a person. You're swapping with me? You want to do business with me? You want to slob with me? Maybe I had the Broncos. You want to slob? No, I want to swapt with a team.

I don't want to swapt with you.

Who you got? That's not how I do business. Well, you make the rules. Maybe I got the commanders. You want the commanders?

You're not going to stop doing this.

Your microphone's off.

Yes, if you're the commanders, then I want to swap.

So you want to do business with me? If you're the commander. Say, I want to swap with Billy.

I want to swap with Billy if he has the commander.

No, no contingencies. Pick a person to swap with. This is what you got for not keeping Chris, who you got? I have the Jags. Mike has the Cardinals. They're the biggest favorite. You son of a bitch. I don't like to use that word, but you made me. I might have the Commanders. My team is in this hand right here. You have the Commanders? Maybe. It's right here. Take a look. It's in this hand. Let me see your hand. You're seeing it? You're blind?

You're the Commanders?

I got my team in this hand right here. You I want them?

If that team is the commander, I'll want them. I think Chris Cody gave you a clue.

Want this team or not? I don't want that team. I'm declining.

I don't want that team.

Wow. Your funeral.

It's as strong as you've ever been. Gangster with a lisp.

It sounds like Johnny Hill from Wolf of Wall Street with the fake teeth.

That's what Billy sounded like.

Jeremy wants to say goodbye to you emotionally. Serupy, he wants to serenade you. He's jealous of Greg Cody's song. Jeremy's in the other room. He also badly wants to talk about Scherzer putting on the best performance that there was from an old guy yesterday. We're not going to let him do that. But, Jeremy, what do you have? How do you want to say goodbye to Billy?

Thanks, Dan. Yeah, I really wasn't sure how to say goodbye. I dressed as Billy today as tribute. He's always been one of my favorite characters. He welcomed me in with so much love and so much grace to the show.

I didn't know how to put it into words and speaking to him in person, I didn't know how to even write it in a card.

So I decided, like Greg, like Yeti, I would try to put my words into a song. So Chris, I think you have that available. Goodbye, Billy. Goodbye Billy. Goodbye Billy. Goodbye Billy Gill.

See you later, man.

I mean it from the heart, Billy. While Jeremy was setting that up. That's the one.

The camera didn't show it. Billy was hitting him with the rapid obby. Billy was trying to speed him up. Jeremy is vying for the position left open by Billy by trying to yammer more than Billy.

Stevie wants it, though. Stevey, I think, is the run-runner right now.

Country mile lead.

Country mile lead.

The vibes. Him or Yudanas Aslam or James Franklin. We're going to have an open tryout for Billy's seat. Do you know how difficult it is, Jeremy, to yammer so much that Billy tries to wrap you up?

Well, I learned from Billy that things like words can be…

Because it's like, Charlie, well, sometimes…

When you think about photography, really, all you have to do is just point and go… There's nothing that complicated about it. I vote for Stevie.

Clay Travis' contract's up. Really? I saw that article. How did not want them in?

Free agent. Shitstane. We refer to him as Shitstane.

A little more balance. A couple of Shitstains.

Get yourself on a list.

I do want to talk in this local hour. We will spend the show celebrating Billy and Dominic Foxworth will be around here a little bit later. Matthew Berry will be here as well. We'll ask him about that.

But- Great, dude.

Louisville and Miami play tonight. Louisville. If people want to pounce on Miami quickly because very little annoys the national audience more than anything that resembles the U is back talk. But there will be people nationally tonight rooting for the whole Miami thing to not be real, for Louisville to win, create more chaos in college football, and produce one of the great things that I miss since Saban left. Where are the teams that you to lose, that you don't want them to get back on top? Because Miami looks more formidable than they have looked in 20 years, maybe 25. It looks like the most balanced, physical, fast, violent Beat you in more ways team that there is, as I mentioned all week. There just aren't a lot of teams good enough that the money will tell you, Yeah, they're two touch downs better than an offense that is scary. A Louisville team that offensively has been scary for a while and can put up 40 at a time. If that defense is real and if Miami is real, what the moment commands is they do not allow the nation on a Friday night stage to laugh at Miami because none of it was real.

Normally, I'd be super nervous about this game, and I think I respect Jeff Braum. Like Miami, they're coming off a buy. Jeff Braum is an incredible play caller, NFL-level play caller. They have a really talented, outstanding wide receiver that's going to be a first rounder in Chris Bell. But typically these Friday ACC games, they're a little spooky. Miami, historically, has actually randomly been really good on these Friday nights. I think 10 and 3 overall since they joined the ACC. But Louisville really struggles at what Miami excels at. That is a bad offensive line. This is a game where Ruben Bain can get after it and pad those stats. Everyone understands while watching the game that he is dominating the game, but he's not racking up the sac totals the way that you would like. They're bad at pass protection with their running backs. The Skinner was here in Miami, and he hasn't improved whatsoever. His frame is the same, and he can't block worth a damn. So this is a game where Ruben Bain can really, with a TV window all to himself, can further entrench himself in that conversation, as well as Carson Beck, who has good numbers and should be in that conversation as well.

Louisville, historically, and you're going to have to help me here because not just with the pronunciation, I can't tell you how good, statistically, Louisville's defense is. But in my lifetime, they've never had a good one. In my entire lifetime, Louisville- Louisville. Louisville. It's not that hard. Not with Schnellenberger, not with anybody. Has Louisville ever had a Good defense.

This is probably... They've played each other since Mario Cristobal has been here, the battle for the boots, the Bronze Boots. The last three years, I would say this is probably their strongest defense of that era. Remember, these two teams combined for 90 something points last season. That That was actually a game that I was surprised Miami won. They were in control of that game, but it was, I think, 52, 45 at the end. This is probably, in terms of talent and effectiveness, the weakest offense that Jeff Braum has had going up against Mario Cristobal. Quarterback, Miller Moss, a former USC guy. He's all right. Brown's a really good running back, but he seems a little hobbled, but he can break away and be a game-breaker. Talent-wise, though, this the toughest test on Miami's schedule to date. Did Billy check out?

You think it's talent-wise? Wait, I don't think I agree with you.

Talent-wise on Miami's remaining schedule, I think that this is the toughest test remaining on their schedule. I think that at Pit, maybe I have PTSD from ending a season against a freshman quarterback at Pit with the playoffs on the line.

No, that's just ACC fear on the road.

Yeah, but Pit's playing better. Smu, that'll be an interesting road test, too. But I think in terms of overall talent. Louisville is probably the most talented team remaining on Miami schedule.

But not more talented than the three teams they've already beaten?

No, but the season's a war of attrition, and I keep holding on to, and this is not an emotional hedge, I just don't think this is a a year that you see a team go undefeated.

You keep doing that, though, and you know what's coming your way if they lose this one.

You know- Yeah, embarrassment, shame, the rest of the nation reveling in it, and those are the stakes now, which is great. We had the conversation that if they lost this game-Oh, my God.

There's no way. Oh, my God.

What is this shit that you guys are talking about? That Louisville and Louisville this, and they're not going to beat the keys. The keys are going to beat the shit of this team today. I'm telling you that right now. You guys have been saying all this time, Where has B-B been? Where is he? What's going on? Let me tell you a little story. I can't I believe this. Four years ago, a company was started, and there was this man with an accent, and his name was getting in something, and he said, We are going to reinvent the wheel, and we are going to make all of these movies, and the first movie that we're going to make is about you, people. And I said, That sounds dope as hell. How many are we going to make? And he said, Four parts. And I said, That's sick. Four documentaries about people. I can't wait for the world to hear my story. He said, I'm going to make you a very wealthy man, people. I said, That's great. What are we talking here? Millions, billions? He said, Millions. I said, Great. How are you going to pay me, bro?

He said, I'm going to pay you in stock options. I said, What the hell does that mean? And then he was like, Well, Mr. People, this is how it's going to work. We're going to give you. I said, Great. You're going to give it to me now? He said, Well, four years, something about a vest. Four years, something happens with a And I said, So in four years, I get all of that money. And he's like, Well, not exactly, Mr. People. I was like, Well, what are you talking about? He said, In four years, you're going to get the opportunity to give me money for those stock options that I'm giving you. And I said, Mother, are you high? He said, No, no, I stopped that. And I said, Hey, enough of that. Get out of here with that shit, Anagans. And you thought that I wasn't going to come, and I wasn't going to come. And the reason that I is because I heard that someone said yesterday that I was an embarrassment to our people. Someone insinuated that I disappeared because I was an embarrassment to our people. This cara chivo over there with that great shit on his face.

And if you go back and you look, Mike, if you happen to know, and Pablo Tori can maybe find out, we look at the old videos from the Clevelander, that beer that he had before, that was It was blacker than a mean beer. So someone needs to look into that situation. Me, an embarrassment to our people. You know it's an embarrassment to our people? This guy can't even say reguetón. That's an embarrassment to our people. People's right about that. I, sir, am no embarrassment to our people. I am our people.

There you are.

Yeah, people. Your cardio is definitely taking a over the years. Covid.

You still have the COVID lung? Covid. Congrats to people. I thought you were vax. Congrats to people. He is this week's nuttiest fan. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of Bolsese. Money? I got money. I got money? On stock option. Keep an eye out for Lucy at Iowa. You get peanuts. If you think you are your team's nuttiest fan.

Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend Rose. Hey, Rose. Hi, everybody. When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends. I consider us friends. Yeah, me too. We're often toasting the good times. And what am I toasting with? With Miller Light. That's right, Miller Light. Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at the game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand. From jaw-dropping touch downs to fantasy heartbreak, it's a beer that has been there for every moment. Fifty years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room. And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant. That beautiful white can. How beautiful How cool is that? Is that you doing the sound of a can opening? Is that your favorite sound? No, it is a horsey. A horsey? All right, we'll stop doing that. And here's a kicker. Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975. Five. That's right. And still hitting different five decades later. You're so good at this, Rose. I know. So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller Time is always a good-Time. Look at us. We're a great tag team. High five again. Can you do that beer sound one more time? And the horse sound one more time? I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller Light sound is good. Miller Light. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight. Com/shaan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller. Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Sean. 96 calories and 3. 2 carbs per 12 ounce.

Ouncess.

No, it ses. Ouncess.