Transcript of Hour 1: The Fourth Rail

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stukatz podcast. We have a situation with this Seahawks-Rams game where you've got the number one scoring offense against the number one scoring defense, and usually defense wins that game, seven or one all time when you have that matchup. The all time stats between the Seahawks and the Rams, the Seahawks are 29 29 and 28 against the Rams all time. They've scored 1,223 points. The Rams have scored 1,222 points. So this feels like it's for the Championship to me. I don't know how that feels to you. The Patriots have had a really easy schedule, and it's rare for a team like the Patriots to just cascade through everything and win the Championship their first time through this. I know I've doubted them all season, and they're five and a half point favorite on the road because they've gotten very fortunate here against the Broncos because Stidham is starting. But that's the game I'm interested, and I'm just not interested in the other one.

The part that sucks is that the game that it was actually during our holiday party, that Thursday night game between the Rams and the Seahawks, was probably the best game of the year on a back and forth basis. It's like, how do you top that game? The last time we saw these two teams play, it was the best game we've seen in a really long time. All right, do it again.

The two times they played, right? The Seahawks, the first time they played the Rams, they had a minus four turnover differential and was still trying to kick a 61-yard field goal at the end to win the game, not even tie it, because they somehow overcame that. And then the last time They played outside of that weird Broncos-giant game earlier this season that had all that chaos in the fourth quarter and the game that the Titans won against the Cardinals. The weirdest game I saw this season was the ending to Seahawks-Rams the last time they played. But I believe that most of the people listening to this are going to take the Rams in that game just because they don't trust Sam Darnold. They think Sam Darnold is going to Sam Darnold even with the best defense in the league. Tony, you're making a face there. You're willing to trust Sam Darnold.

I'm willing to trust Mike McDonald. I'm willing to trust the defense because Sam Darnold had the game that we all thought he would have against the Rams, and they were 61 yards away from winning the game. Right on field goal. You've seen the worst possibility. He throws four interceptions that are terrible. They have five turnovers in the game, and then all of a sudden you look and say, All right, 61 yards.

But I don't understand how the Rams lost to them last time. There were five minutes left in that game. It was improbable. Look, I could also make the argument that both Packers-Bears games of the last month were among the weirdest of the comebacks. But the Seahawks winning that second game against the Rams was damn near inexplicable. And when it comes to distrust for Sam Darnold, you guys remember the radio call? Last year, Minnesota went 14 and three. They won all their one-score games, then they get to the playoffs, and Sam Darnold, Sam Darnold in a way that had the broadcasters really frustrated. He's holding it too long. Just run. Throw it, man. That was the pissed-off announcement talking about Sam Darnold with obvious frustration. He's holding it too long. Just run. Throw it, man. That was both of them, actually. Just run.

He's holding it too long.

Just run. Throw it, man.

That man comes from a very deep place in the loins. He's holding it too long.

Just run.

Throw it, man.

Baby.

Let's welcome in another new sponsor here. We love new sponsors. We ask you to support the people who support us. We've got a goat conversation that I want to continue from earlier in the show of Worst Coaches to Win a Championship. We were talking about Doc Rivers and the fact that Doc Rivers is now 18 25 with Giannis onto Tukumbo. Doc Rivers has some bad failure on his resume. It's not just the game sevens, the collapses with three-one leads. He had an Orlando team with Anthony Hardaway. Now, Grant Hill was hurt on that team, but he had a team that never got out of the first round with Anthony Hardaway.

Are we doing the goat of bonehead coaches?

Not bonehead coaches, but the goat of coaches to win a championship who you still don't consider any good.

I got to scratch off Nathaniel Hackett.

So you're just doing bonehead coaches that didn't win a championship?

He worked the clock to set up a 64-yard field goal.

We're talking a goat conversation. We need to get the goat of bonehead coaches. Nathaniel Hackett, try to beat that.

You remember that guy? I mean, Jean Chiswick. I wanted to go goat of coaches who won a championship and you still consider incompetent. Larry Coker, very Switzerland. Those are good ones.

Don't say Coker. Come on. Ozegean.

That's what I had. Larry Coker I think Larry Coker had the best start to a coaching career there's ever been. I think he won his first 32 or 34 games, and then when he left Miami, wasn't allowed to coach anywhere else.

Well, thankfully, you can't say that anymore. It's Signetti.

This Hot Takes Goat conversation is presented by Franks Red Hot. Make every dish the greatest. Eat the goat.

Barry Switzer's pretty good. It's a really good one. When you mentioned Signetti, have you come around on Signetti, Tony? What is your feeling on Signetti? You seem to have some bitter sweet, troubled, conflicting feelings.

After proper time to really think about and reflect on the loss, I started thinking about Signetti, and I started thinking about his timeline of where he's been and how he's gotten where he's gotten. It's like, this guy's a great coach, and I like his style. I like how he's always looking at the camera. He's playing on the fourth rail. Google me. That's probably one of the greatest-What's the fourth rail and why is he playing on it? Fourth rail, yeah. He's breaking the fourth rail. No, it's a wall. Fourth wall.

Fourth wall. It's the third rail.

This is really funny, considering the conversation we just had prior.

About the boneheads? Yeah.

What is the what is the fourth rail? I don't know what the fourth rail is.

Minor penalty, two minutes.

Tremenda cagasson.

Yeah, there's a third rail.

Don't write it down there. And a fourth wall. Don't write it down.

I'm sorry, Tony. You're going to have to leave. Sam Darnold with the Vikings versus the Rams last year in the playoffs. He lost 27 to nine, nine sacks, 12 QB hits, two turnovers. Also, almost half of his interceptions this year have come against the Rams.

He said, Google me, and then he did it. You got to go, baby.

Did you not hear Tremendake a Song? I don't know what a four- No, I heard it, baby. I know, but I don't understand what that was as analysis. That's complicated.

Zaza said 18 things that haven't made sense in two weeks.

What are you talking about? Don't bring me into your business, all right? Mind your own business. Go in penalty box. Get my name out of your mouth.

I just don't understand what he was even to say. He plays on the fourth rail. It's bad when he confused all of us. It's a word salad of nothing. I thought that he'd come around on Signetti- It's a shame.

I wanted to hear the rest of his Signetti point.

It is a shame, isn't it?

Now, we'll never hear about it.

But he doesn't deserve it for it to be heard when you say he plays on the fourth rail. Nobody understood what he was talking about. It's just saying words for no reason.

Fourth rail was wild. That was so funny. We were so close, so close, so close to- That's ridiculous. Having a game, a national title game, in which people were questioning Kurt Signetti's game plan and clock management and touting What a great call Mario Cristobal made. We were this close.

What do you think Tony meant? Fourth wall. Fourth wall, right?

Breaking the fourth- You think if you had to explain what the fourth wall is, he'd be able to properly put the words together?

I don't know what he's saying because Signet doesn't play to the camera. What? Signet, he's just pissed off all the time.

No, he knows exactly where the cameras are. Are you kidding me? That's his thing. He's constantly looking at it. You didn't notice this about this?

He's just pissed off all the time.

He's always playing to the cam. The guy is such a ham. When he said, Google me, it wasn't about his record. It's because it's something that he does every morning. The guy loves himself. A net of ham.

He had that Google me line, locked and loaded.

He definitely rehearses his moves. And you know what? He's a champ. Theater kid. He's the freaking man. Man, how did that corner not bite on Mally underneath? It's like they knew where we were going with the ball.

I spent all day yesterday thinking about that fake punt, not fake punt, but the punt return that ever materialized. I spent all day yesterday thinking about it.

All right. So for those of you who do not know, a play that Chris Felica has pointed out before the blocked punt that in that game. Malikai Tony caught a ball at the five-yard line. And because the punt was so good, the University of Miami was not able to execute a play that I don't believe I've ever seen tried, executed on a punt. I've seen it tried on kick before, before they changed all the kick-off rules. But I don't think I've seen, I can't come up with it from my memory, a play where you field a punt and then make everyone, because Malikai Tony obviously draws a lot of attention, come to the right side of the field and then lateral across the field by throwing it into your own end zone to a player for the Hurricanes who was wide open over there, unattended to. A lot of people were sending me this over the last few days saying, Look, Miami had set up, according to Chris Falica, I keep making him Falic for some reason, I always do that, had set up what would have been a seismic ballsy play call. Now, we're going to associate that game, I think, with Signetti the balls he calls because the Hoosier scored two touch downs, one of them aided by several University of Miami penalties, the other one aided by two fourth and fives that they converted that Signetti could have been forgiven for if he had not gone for them.

I thought it was surprising that down in distance that he not only went for it, but chose to unleash his Heisman Trophy winner's legs for the first time on a design draw play. But you can't stop watching that play because of the almost and the One that I found curious in the coping of that is I really do feel like I can go to any football game that's played that is close and find 30 different plays that would have changed the outcome of a game if somebody had seen something. For some reason, this one is the one that University of Miami fans can't stop talking about.

Because it's so extraordinary that they were trying to even attempt that risky play. On top of it, it's Yeah, it was going to work. It's the what could have been that has captured me.

There were six could have beens in that game. By the way, it's remarkable that Malikai Tony, most people, when they have a design play like that and have the ability to throw, they'll force something bad.

How many times do you see the flea flicker who just about gets blown up and the running back still tosses it back?

Or a reversal wide receiver who forces a ball and it's either purely picked off Mally. He had the presence of mind like, All right, it's not there. I have a split second to just tuck this down and not even look. And to the point that Chris was on the sideline. He's like, I think they had something cooking on that. It was weird, but nobody that was in attendance thought, other than Chris, Oh, that's a fake play. But there were six plays in this game, and two of them were mano a mano plays, back shoulder throws, where you just tip your hat like, Okay, that's football. It came your guy beat our guy. And they did that. But the rest of them were straight up balls in execution. And that was the book on Indiana. They execute and they take advantage of any mistake that you made. You mentioned the draw play by Mendoza. Cory Heatherman said postgame, he knew that was a play call. He knew that was a play call. We were just late in getting that play call in and the safety comes outside as opposed to inside. The punter booming that punt, us not being able to maintain the block there.

Obviously, the block punt, all this stuff, the procedural stuff, the operational stuff, it all worked in Indiana's favor. And I thought it was cliché. All right, we'll see. I see these guys on the field. Our guys are a lot bigger than yours. Now, a lot of that stuff played out. Miami effectively ran the ball. But the game was won by execution. And I'm just flabbergasted that everything that was said about Indiana was absolutely true. You cannot make a mistake against them. You will pay for it immediately.

In When sports, championships aren't one alone, the one with the right people around you. That's exactly what Intuit TopoTax brings to taxes. With TopoTax Expert full service, match with a dedicated tax expert who handles your taxes from start to finish. The experience is seamless. Start in person, finish online, move between both whenever needed. The dedicated tax expert keeps things updated every step of the way so nothing falls between the cracks. Think of it like having a great head coach with a solid game plan. The players are called, adjustments are made, and the work gets done while everyone stays focused on what actually matters. And just like game film doesn't wait for business hours, neither do taxes. With Tobotax Expert full service, you can get any tax question answered at no extra cost, even on nights and weekends during tax season. This is having someone in your corner running the whole operation and helping put points on the board. Get started at tobotax. Com. Only available with Intuit Tobotax Full Service experts. Real-time updates only in iOS mobile app.

All right, kick Same thing, it's all with Smearing Off, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smearing Off. Wow, you're on the money with Smearing Off. Chris, you know what goes great with Smearing Off? Smearing Off. Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style has got to match the vibe. All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff Commission, merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Aleyley May. Smyrnav. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Aleyley May's one-of-one game day jacket. The merch will be dropped on select date from December to January, 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand? Smyrnav. That's right, Chris. Fans, 21 and over, can head to Smyrnav Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smyrnav vodka, number 21, at your local retail.

Smyrnav. Please drink responsibly. Smyrnav. Number 21, vodka distilled from green, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnov Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. Us resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12: 15, 2025 at 12: 00 AM Eastern and ends 1: 23, 2026 at 11: 59, 59: 00 PM Eastern. See official rules at program website.

Draftkings Sportsbook, the number one sportsbook for live betting, is turning up the stakes this NFL playoff. Every Sunday, every DraftKings customer has a shot at over two and a half million dollars in prizes. Here's how it works. Open the DraftKings Sportsbook app and opt in. Place a live bet at just $1 or more on Sunday's playoff games, and every live bet gives you another chance to win. The more you bet live, the more entries you stack, all all Sunday long. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app right now and use code Dan. Bet live for your share of two and a half million dollars in prizes with code Dan. In partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

Gambling problem? Call 1-800 Gambler. New York, call 877-8 Hope & Why or text Hope & Why. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. Org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over in most states, void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Three sweepstakes with separate opt-ins. Minimum odds, minus 500. Prizes, either bonus bets that expire in seven days or single-use profit boost. See official rules at dkng. Co/live-millions for entry period and free method of entry. Sponsored by Crown Gaming Inc. Don Lebatard.

To us, residents.

Oh, wow. That's pretty good. It's in there.

It's better. You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugatz. I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy.

Brought to by a headquarters of Toyota. 4: 41, Power Line Road. Second down of nine.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

The point I was making about the fourth Reo was that Signetti is such a good coach, right? It just seems that he came out of nowhere. It's just like he got one job after another job, and then he got the Indiana job, which is historically one of the worst in college football. I was like, I'm going to win. Google me. Everybody's like, Look at this guy. It's a joke. Then all of a sudden, they started being good. All of a sudden, they started winning. Then this season, they've just been the best coach team. It's like, How do you go in? Completely change a program in a culture like that.

They didn't play that good a game, honestly. That is not his signature in terms of the team not making mistakes and playing well. They did not play the normally clean game that they played.

But the corner that made the interception sharp, that is a testament to film breakdown and coaching, because Malikai Tony was open underneath. You can hold that against Carson Beck. He took a shot, his head bounce off the field. But usually the corner follows the underneath wide receiver, and that way you have a bigger your hole to drop that pass into. And if you look at the film, Marion is open if it is a perfect pass. But it has to be that precise because the corner has Carson Beck read like a book. He's going his one read, this is a play call. I'm not going to follow Malley. I'll allow Malley these 20 yards underneath because I can go win a national championship right now. And on top of that, he makes the catch, too. It's a hell of a team, dude.

To Tony's point, I've been thinking about this as well. Through the latter part of the season. Signetti is what, 63 years old? How does that happen where you have a coach who becomes... We're going to start talking about him alongside Kirby Smart as best coaches in college football. But Kirby Smart is significantly younger. How do you become one of the best coaches in college football out of nowhere and you're in your 60s?

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I mean, his attitude, maybe he's always had that, and at the lower ranks, that doesn't fly. It's weird for a guy that stood that close to nick Saban, that was responsible for some big-time recruiting acquisitions and wins, to have to go to a lower level and build himself back up. Very rare for the Saban staffs to do that. Very rare.

Are you still turning off the television when you see the remnants of the highlights from that game? I see all over our Wallpapers City. I do see still a national flippin champions are posterred. All the Indiana people have left. There's no longer a bunch of red in all of our streets. They have left the city, but they've left behind some Wallpapers.

Yeah. Honestly, I thought about taking a personal day this week because I was so sad, but doing the job has made me, because of the performative aspects, come up and realized, yeah, it was a great season. I enjoyed putting together the badass plays. I'm really happy about it. But yeah, It's still pretty triggering, Dan. It's one thing if you get blown off the field and you run into that team. It's another thing entirely where you're like, damn, it was so hard to get there. They had to win four games essentially on the road, where you don't have the home field advantage. To do that at College Station. We're talking about cream of the crop programs that Miami had to go through. It's so hard. And everybody was saying, All right, we'll just get them next year. Dude, there's 150 teams in Division One College football. There's about 25 that can talk themselves ourselves into, We legitimately have a title chance here. It is hard. You're not going to have the overwhelming talent advantages that the teams of the past did. There is talent spread evenly throughout. You just have to get as many lottery tickets as you can.

Hopefully, we make the college football playoff and we can talk ourselves into, We get in the tournament, we got a shot. But it is hard to get back here. I didn't want to take it for granted whatsoever because there's no guarantee.

It's not just that it's hard to get back there. It's hard to get into a position where you're playing the championship game and you're the team with more pros, where you obviously have first-round pass rushers that can wreck any other team's game plan because you've got two first-round edge rushers. That's the first time Miami has ever had two first-round edge rushers. They've had some decent pass rushers, but they usually come through the middle. They don't have the great guys on the edges. They had two of them this year. In the history of the program, you've got Kaleas Campbell, you've got Rusty Medares, you've got Greg Mark. You don't have two first-round pass rushers on the edges.

The game was right there. Miami lost to what is going to be talked about when you see top 10 list for the rest of time, like greatest college football champions. 16 to no Indiana will be on those lists. Miami had an opportunity with a minute left in that game to beat them, having a miraculous season, and it came down to execution. We all thought Miami's best would beat Indiana's best. I think that one game sample proved that. And Miami just didn't quite meet the moment. They didn't quite play the game that was good enough to win. I think the Bill Connolly win probability measurement was 14 % for Indiana.

They didn't- Based on the stats from once you check out the stats after the game, the win probability of Indiana, given that they only had two shutdown drives, the win probability was 14 14% based on all of the metrics after you consume them when the game has been played.

Yeah, my offense versus your defense, your defense versus my offense. Miami outplayed Indiana in that regard, but it was execution and special teams, and that's what everybody said, You got to watch out for Indiana on, and they proved it.

Also, Roy said the thing, baby. I'll never forgive him, baby.

There's that as well. I wanted to ask you guys something from a couple of the different press conferences that there were yesterday when people start taking inventory and doing the autopsy on their NFL seasons. Put the Buffalo press conference off to the side for a second. John Lynch of the 49ers. It's still strange to me to see John Lynch running the 49ers. I don't think a lot of people listening to this know that John Lynch threw the first pitch in Florida Marlins history. He was the single A pitcher who threw the very first pitch in organizational history, and now he runs the 49ers. Not only does he say that they're going to look into whether or not their players get injured more than any other team in the league because they practice next to a power plant. So now you've got a GM of the league. Even though scientists have said, Look, there's not a link between these things, basically, what you've got is a GM in the league saying, I fear that my players are contaminated with radioactivity. That's not a normal thing that you get in a postseason press conference.

Okay, not radioactivity, EMF frequencies. That's different.

And not a power plant I misspoke. It's an electrical substation. Whatever. No one knows what to call those things.

Funnier my way to have them contaminated by radioactivity. But when you talk about radioactivity in their locker room, they did also have that with the Iuk situation. And this is the part that I wanted to get to with you guys, because the quote from Shana Khan was shocking, given that you had Iuk, he had 27 million in guarantees in a contract that they were skittish about giving to him, but they gave him the contract. Then Ayuk stopped showing up when he was injured. This is the quote from Shana Khan, I'd say it officially stopped for me when the last time I tried to get a hold of him and couldn't, and then tried a couple more times and still couldn't. Then that matched everyone else that was trying to get a hold of him to come in. Eventually, there's not much of an explanation because it's really hard for us and anyone else to understand. That's why it's something I've never seen in 22 years of coaching. It's unfortunate and it's confusing because it's confusing for all us, but it eventually becomes it is what it is. A guy is under contract. The money is guaranteed.

They never take away your guarantees. They're guaranteed. They're taking away his guarantees because he just stopped showing up. How do you stop showing up if it risks millions of dollars when you don't actually have to go in and do the work? You just have to get perfect attendance. You don't even have to get perfect attendance. You just have to return the calls of the people in charge.

You just have to not violate the terms of your contract.

Just show up. Just literally show up. You could do whatever you want. You could play whatever.

Drive to the facility and just sit there. But have you guys ever heard of such a thing? And, incidentally, I can't help but do this. It's not fair. I know we do this doctor diagnosis when we're not doctors. But anytime I'm confronted in that sport with something that doesn't make sense to me, I was talking about this a lot on the end of Antonio Brown's career when he plays for three teams in whatever it is, six months, and you're like, What's happening there? That's one of the best receivers you've ever seen. What's the craziness of this behavior where I don't see any precedent for it? It can be addicted to social media. But anytime something this strange happens that I can't explain, I wonder, fairly or unfairly, Hey, what's going on with this person's head? What did football help do to this person's head?

Power plant, dude.

Substation.

Have we not heard heard at all from Brandon Ayuk's agent? Has the agent fired him? Normally, when something similar to this is going on, we will hear from the agent.

You guys remember the summer of Ayuk? We talked about this guy nonstop for two months, and he's fallen off the face of the earth.

Dan Levatard.

I've never stepped foot on that campus. If you told me right now, your life depends on it, go to Santa Fe University and just take a picture.

Stugatz.

I would die. I don't know where it is.

This is the Don Levatard Our Show with the Stugatz.

Is it something that's unfair for me to do, to wonder whenever I see erratic football behavior from a player that I simply can't explain, that I have never seen, that Kyle Shana is telling you. I haven't seen this in 22 years of coaching where someone doesn't show up for his guarantees when I have never seen, that Kyle Shanaan is telling you, I haven't seen this in 22 years of coaching where someone doesn't show up for his guarantees when I have What he got to do is show up for work. He doesn't have to exercise, he doesn't have to rehab. He just has to show up at the facility.

What's he mad about?

I don't know because his family members have spoken. Look, he was wounded that they didn't throw more to him at the end of last season. He was wounded that he's not their number one receiver as a priority, even though it doesn't matter who plays for that team. That team wins 11, 12 games, even if everybody is injured. I don't think it's a logic leap that's fair for me to make, but I can't help but keep making it when confronted with behavior I've never seen before. I only do it in that sport. I don't do it in hockey where there are plenty of collisions and concussions. I don't do it with any other sport. It's only that sport where I'm like, Oh, do we not yet know where it regards brain chemistry, how damaging some of this is? Because the Antonio Brown behavior started immediately after Vontez Burfecht hit him. All of that behavior started when he was incapacitated on the field by a dirty hit by Vontez Burfecht, who was trying to make that hit, who was trying to purposely injure him, and not only did, evidently, also derailed Antonio Brown's entire life.

But you have a point. You have a genesis of where the thing started with Antonio Brown. You look at Brandon, it's like he tore a bunch of ligaments in his knee, but that has nothing really to do with his head. It's like, is it the rehab and how grueling it is to come back? Maybe that- Well, that's why Dan's asking whether or not it's even fair to ask that question.

Can you ever text Pablo and tell him what to do? Can you? I need a deep dive on this one. I'm just talking about the power plant.

I looked into it. I spoke to Peter Cohen.

Oh, I would be totally here for Tony finds out.

You can go find it on my YouTube channel, Anthony Tony.

I don't tell Pablo anything about what to do. No, I don't.

He shouldn't look at this power plant.

It burns down the collagen in your bones is what the conversation is.

But But hasn't that substation been there since the '80s? Yes. Haven't they won?

Yeah, but they haven't been there since the '80s.

Okay, but they've had multiple teams practicing next to it without this injury. Sure, yes.

Injuries. They've been hurt for eight years, Dano. Agreed.

But from the '80s to now, that substation has increased a million fold of output because back in the day, we weren't really using that stuff. You know about that whatage?

And now everything is being used. It's my gimmick.

I remember having the argument with Stugatz when Bill Parcells was running the Dolphins and they went 11 and 5 with Pennington getting second in the MVP voting, and they had an injury-free, practically, year. And Stugatz is saying, Yeah, Parcells can do that. I'm like, Kenny, you think Parcells can come in and make sure his guys don't get injured. Nobody turns an ankle. So Siriani, the last few years before this recent spate, the Eagles were the healthiest team in the league. What are they doing? They're doing something to keep their players healthy. I remember Chip Kelly, when they hired him, he had protein shakes, and he was measuring their hearts with Apple watches, and he was ahead of the game. You guys believe that there's a way to either prevent injuries in football with your training staff being appreciably better than someone else's training staff?

How much would that guy get paid who can keep your team from getting hurt all year?

Have you considered God? Well, they are in that godless city of San Francisco.

Finally, somebody said it, baby.

I did enjoy the idiocy of Segura, Tom Segura coming on with us the other day and saying he was at a table with a bunch of football players who were talking about how they got injured. Then he started talking about how in high school, he broke or he hurt his tailbone. He's looking at one of the bosses who are like, It's such a flabbergasting lack of self awareness to get into that conversation. It's like talking to war veterans when you got to go fight one time in your sixth grade cafeteria about the perils of conflict.

The Crucible of Life. Guess who's not there with me?

I just can't I can't believe that any human being, never mind Tom Segura, that any human being would sit at a table with three football players who are talking about injuries. Do you guys do any assessment? Valerie does this all the time, and I become numb to it over the years. The amount of stoppages in football for an injury are so commonplace that now my wife has me self-conscious because every time she walks past the television, someone's on the field hurt, and she doesn't understand why we're still doing any of this. She's watching it and she's like, Let me guess. Someone's hurt again? Because they're carrying people off every couple of plays, and it's just the most normal thing in the world. None of us take any inventory as they play an extra game, and the Rams, and the Seahawks, and the Patriots, and the Broncos are all some form of broken by the end of this season. None of us are taking any actual inventory of how any of those bodies feel at this point in a season, correct?

I'm taking inventory that during the play house, we have to sit and go to a commercial break as opposed to going over to Buffalo for another game that's in the red zone.

Yeah, I'm taking inventory of it when I have to sit down and watch Jared Stitt. No doubt.

Took inventory when Marvin Mims got the microphone.

That was crazy. I was like, Oh. Yeah, up his butt, man. That was crazy.

It was very close to up his butt.

That was wild, dude.

It was like, Hit him in his back and his tailbone. But it was at a different angle. He might be having a big issue.

You know radio, you can't say anything is going in and out of a bud. That's why I'm glad to be a digital audio pioneer, because sometimes it's absolutely necessary. That microphone almost went up his bud. You can't say that?

You can't. We can live. Nothing can go in and out of a bud. Cannot put anything in or out of one of your Orphans. Thanks, YouTube.

Dan Soter did that to Steven Ross. He was stuffing 10 different championships up the owner of the Dolphins. But speaking of Digital Pioneer, one of the most popular games anywhere to be found in the digital space is Real or fake Fake podcast. Let's play it.

Listen up. Time to think fast.

Is this a real or fake podcast?

Been a minute.

Talk to him, baby.

You guys remember how to play this game? I say a podcast name, and you try to guess if I'm trying to trick you with a fake one or if it's an actual real podcast.

Do we have buzzers?

No, we just go around the main room over there. Here we go. Game recognize game with Miles Turner. Is this a real or fake podcast?

I'm going to say fake. I don't think. Come on.

I'm saying fake.

That is a real podcast. It felt real. I co-host it with Brianna Stewart. Oh, that makes sense.

Game-recognized game, boys.

Game-recognized game. Next up. That sounds great, actually. The Rush with Max Crosby.

I don't think Max Crosby has his own podcast. I've heard him It's going to be available to all other podcasts, but that'd be a good name for him, The Rush with Max Crosby. I'm going to say no.

I'm going to go and no.

It is indeed a real podcast, The Rush with Max Crosby, co-hosted by Cooper Rush. Up on Game with T. J. Hushmanzada. What is it called? Up on Game with T. J. Hushmanzada.

It's a great name. It's a funny a funny name, and I'm going to say it's fake just because you went for the funny name.

I don't think it's a funny name.

I don't think T. J. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Is T. J. Hussmann Zada a funny name? Yes or no? Oh, no, no.

That's a- But not up on... You're having a bad week, dude.

Write that down.

Is it real or is it fake?

I'm trying to guess what Zazl even meant. I don't think it's real. Did you make a guess? No. It's a real podcast, and it's co- I missed it with LeVar Harrington. You guys are bad at this game. We Want the Funk with Dory Funk Jr. Is this a real or fake podcast? Rest in peace, Terry Funk.

You know about that funk family?

I know the Funk brothers. There's no way that's real. There's just not a way.

A lot of wrestling podcasts out there. I'm going real.

No.

Yeah, it's got a lot to say.

Is this the fourth best funk, brother? You believe we want the funk with 84-year-old Dory Funk Jr. Is a real podcast. You are incorrect. It is fake.

We're friends on Facebook.

Dory Funk Jr? Yeah. I'm glad I got that story. Lastly, Cousins with Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady.

And Kirk Cousins. I'm going to say no, that's a fake podcast. I think they've got too much work elsewhere to do their own podcast.

This is real. It is a new podcast they are launching.

Zaz, look at you. Way to rally, pal. It is indeed a brand new podcast and the inspiration for this entire list that featured We Want the Funk with Dory Funk Jr.

Eighty-four-year-old Dory Funk Jr. Still doing it. Starting, well, not podcast. He's evidently still not doing podcast. By still doing it, you mean living, right?

No, wrestling. No, he's not. He is still living. Yes, he is wrestling.

He's 84. He's not wrestling. What are you talking about? He's older than my father.

May Young and the Fabulous Moula still wrestling in today. Yeah.

What are you talking about? He does a school. He's still teaching. He's in the ring.

He may teach. Nobody wants- I think we have a staff here that was trained by Dory Funk. Put it on the poll at Levitard show, does anyone want to see an 84-year-old professional wrestler? There's no way. He might be teaching. He's not wrestling. He's not actively wrestling.

I guarantee you he has wrestled a match within the last year.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Do you think 84-year-old Dory Funk Jr. Has wrestled a match in the last year?

Great game, man. I missed this one.

Did David Samson report earlier that it's If that we come in next Tuesday and find out that Ohtani is dating Tyler Glass now and everyone's just going to be like, Yeah, that's a normal thing. I should have asked some follow-up questions there when he said that the movie Heated Rivalry TV show. Is a normal thing.

I have a bold prediction. You remember when Drive to Survive became a huge hit and everybody in every pitch meeting for the next five years was like, It's like the Drive to Survive, but for LPGA golf. Watch out for gay love stories across all other sports. It's like heated rivalry, but for NASCAR. There's already a-It's a whole genre of books.

My wife is very into it.

There's already a softball show that was green-lipped by the same Canadian network, Crave, I believe. It's either Crave or pop.

I'm not sure. Dan, it turns out that I am in fact wrong about Dory Funk Jr because his last match was over a year ago. Matter of fact, it was August of 2024, so barely over a year ago. But I do have to tell you, his last match was a double hell, current explosion death match.

Let's get all the sounds that record for posterity, Zazlo's terrible 10 days around here that culminated with him telling you to take the nets last night who lost by 56 points.

Shit, do you want to know what were the kids doing?

I really failed in not playing that for Adnan and Samson and asking them what movie he was talking about.

The packer's winner, the bear's lose.

You're going to buy a substation, buddy?

Oh, boy.

I don't think it's strange for me, but like...

Oh, boy.

Again, and the whole thing culminated with him yesterday in a first-time appearance for a sponsor that we really value in a betting segment that we value. Zazl told you to take the Nets plus plus 11. 5. And again, they lost by 56 and scored a league low this season, 66 points in an NBA basketball game.

Don't be afraid to buy up to plus 55. That's on you. You always want to play safe.

Oh, boy. He was off the fourth rail this week.

You could tell how that was an honest mistake, right?

I got a burger out of it.

We got a fourth wall, third rail. You mix them together. What do you got? Fourth rail. Keep it moving, baby.

He's right about that.

I Stan from You Coming, that's Rich, by the way. What? Absolutely Rich coming from You.

From You Coming. From You Coming. It's like the heated rivalry, but of PGA golf.

From the maker of the fourth rail, The You Coming. What were you trying to say about Signetty? Okay.

What I was trying to say was that I like the fact that he said, Google me, and then he went out and did it. What I was trying to talk about the fourth rail between the fourth wall and the third rail is that he looks at the camera, which you didn't know, by the way, non-ball watcher.

Wow... Nice.