Transcript of David Samson Schedules His Text Messages And Weighs In On The Lakers Front Office Changes | Hour 1 New

This is the Dan Levitan Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

This episode of the Dan Levitan Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.

David Sampson.

I can't believe what I'm about to tell you. And it's very simple. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Don't drop a deuce. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Go pee pee. Hey, Toss. Go pee pee. Don't drop a deuce.

David Samson seems delighted here.

We've only just begun, Karen Carpenter.

I was disturbed by how eager David Samson was to have an orgy. I mean, as disturbed as I was by anything David Samson has said or done since he mispronounced boobs in Spanish.

Hey, Toss.

His sound was sensual in a way that creeped us out.

I wasn't looking at his pecker.

It was unpleasant.

Go pee pee. Go pee pee.

Go pee pee.

Go pee pee. Hey, Toss. Don't drop a deuce.

It's just money.

Pee pee. Go peepee! Go peepee!

Money gives him a boner.

He's a shill for management, a shill for ownership.

That's a hard and fast rule.

Money excites him in a way that is pornographic, period.

Let's not kid ourselves about dude wipes. No, I sit to pee always.

Uh, that— uh, that echoing and evil laugh at the end.

David Sampson is with us now.

Uh, nice to see you, David. Nothing Personal is the name of the podcast. Uh, you're coming in off of a, a rough awards week. The Pablo Torre Finds Out show, uh, you must be heartbroken to have not won an Emmy as well. It's strange that you guys would be good enough to win a Pulitzer but lose the Sports Emmy. Uh, were you crushed by that this week? Do you love awards as much as Pablo does?

Oh, I think it's yes. I was very disappointed. We're Pulitzer Prize-winning podcasters. You have a Pulitzer Prize-winning show. You'd think that we'd get the sports Emmy for sure. And when our name was not called out, I was sort of— I thought I had it wrong. I thought it was in the bag. I had the speech prepared. I had names. Your name was third in line to mention and ready. And then all of a sudden, Here's the problem with awards. When you don't win them, it feels worse than how good you feel when you do win them. And that is a really bad position to be in because you're supposed to be happy with the nomination. And for me, it wasn't good enough.

Is that true what he's saying right there? Do you guys believe that to be true what he just said? That it hurts more to lose an award than it feels good to win an award?

Interesting. Interesting question.

How would that— I got to talk to you a little bit about that intro because I wasn't aware that Cody had been bowling on lane 34 last night. I'm also not fully aware whether he expected me to respond to his text at 1:41 a.m. that I responded to at 1:43 a.m. with, hey, how about this as the intro? And I responded and then he didn't respond. And now I know why. He must have just passed out. It was so Cody.

It was 1:40 in the morning. Yes, you are. Of anyone in my life, I know I can text you at these times. You're always up. That's why, like, I would not text most people at that time. But you, I can.

It was no problem. But then you didn't respond to my response.

I went to sleep, David. That was like a text of like, can I play this for you? And then I'm going to go to sleep now because it's 1:40.

That's like falling asleep in the middle of a conversation or in the middle of sex. You just don't do it. David's right. You got—

there has to be like at least a 5 to 10 minute buffer where you allow him to respond because maybe he's gonna respond with a question of his own.

Texts are like emails, like I just sent it, I put it there, I'll check it when I wake up.

They're like texts.

Right, plus you know that David is a quick responder, so you got to give him 3, 5 minutes.

Thank you for your service.

No, no, I responded immediately, Greg. What I'm saying is when a text conversation ends, it ends with a thumbs up, it ends with an okay. It ends with a see you tomorrow. It ends with something, not just ask a question and then the answer comes and then you leave it be. So I'm basically up all night waiting to hear, is there an edit coming in? Do I have to be prepared for something? And crickets on the phone.

Yep. I hear you. I'm on your— I'm on Team David here. I got to go against my own son.

Chris, you fell asleep in a drunken stupor while David is staring at his phone waiting for 3 dots.

Drunken stupor. Was creating imaging. I was working.

I just wish you had told me, Chris. All you have to do is say, because normally I get a text at 1:41. I'm thinking, all right, there's something to do here. Turns out it was just an end of drunk text. I thought I wanted it to be like a during drunk text.

I thought of that fruit platter or $22 in quarters question last night at 1:40.

Terrible question.

I was working.

Just so terrible.

Just a terrible question. I can't believe you had all night and that's what you came up with for uncomfortable questions. Whether I'd want $22 or fruit. Like, I just don't know.

I think I had one more.

How much did you smoke last night?

I had one more. Are we talking— are we talking just by eating it? A lot. Another one I wrote. I got another one for you in that same vein. Eating nachos or 15 minutes of good meditation?

Oh, I know that answer. Gotta have the nachos.

Well, I've only reached good meditation one time, and I'd rather have that than just about anything.

What does that even mean, good meditation?

I gotta love David though. David, you gotta send 100 back, Chris. At least 100 emoji.

100 emoji.

You guys are built very differently though on, you guys, the room seems divided on what's proper text etiquette here at 2 o'clock in the morning. I don't follow any good text etiquette. I'm always up. So what is the correct way? 'Cause it seems like you guys are all divided on this.

Well, I feel like you know your audience. Like I know David, like I won't text everybody at that late, but I know David's up a lot. I know he's probably not gonna get awoken from that.

That's why you should have waited for a response, because you know he's up. If I text you, Chris, at 1:40 in the morning because I want you to see it when you wake up, I don't have to wait for a response.

But our text was very like, I asked him a question, he answered it. Like, what do I need to do there of like, okay, David, I've seen your response.

Oh, so you saw his response?

This morning when I woke up?

No, no, no, somewhere else. You couldn't even wait 2 minutes for a response?

Yeah, give him a thumbs up.

At 1:40 in the morning?

Give him a thumbs up.

You know he's going to be awake.

2 minutes is a long time for you.

I was sleepy.

I had just had a nice day.

If you want to know for real, I had just showered, a late night post-bowling shower so I don't have to do it in the morning.

Oh, God, showering.

He always wins. Yeah, I took a shower, so I was in the nude on my bed texting David.

How about that, David?

How about that?

I was nude.

How about that?

I changed my mind. I do not want a response from nude Chris. I retract everything I said. As a matter of fact, I'm only upset that I responded at all now, given I didn't know he was drunk. I didn't know he was high, and I sure as hell didn't know he was butt naked. Oh God, I totally screwed it up last night. I should have let it go. Do you know that there's a thing you can do, which is save for later? You could have sent the text but had it delivered like it's 7 a.m. when you're prepared to hear the response.

What? You're talking about like scheduling texts.

That is a thing, birthday girl. You can schedule texts. I do that all the time. I will send texts to people in increments with what I think will be a response to their response before they respond. So then I don't actually have to respond when they respond because it's already scheduled in.

Dave, so you've got 7 different texts at 6 different times in the day predicting their response. You're like, yeah, I chat, chat. DavidGPT is just sitting there like, I think that's how great it is.

I'm going to Play that. Think about how great a time saver it is. I don't have to look for the three dots. I don't have to think about anything during the day when I want to watch a movie or I want to go running. I can do all my texting late at night.

But Dave, what about—

no one knows because you schedule it for later.

What about spontaneity? Somebody replies with something you weren't expecting. All of a sudden, your draft that you send seems stupid.

He's wide awake, though.

No, I love where your head's at, except the conversations I do that with only have certain responses. So it's not like I'm asking someone, hey, what are your plans for Saturday night? And then I'll schedule the response. Okay, let's see a movie. That is a clear yes or no. But if I know that there is a plan for Saturday night, here's a great example I just did. We have plans Saturday night and I will say, do you want to see a movie? And then I will respond scheduled. I'd like to see Devil Wears Prada. Then I'll respond. It's showing at SAG Harbor Theater at 3:45 p.m. And then I'll say I can get a dinner reservation post-movie at this restaurant, which, by the way, I already will have had. And now I've made the whole plan before anyone's responded.

You're actually a great date organizer.

Well, it just saves time.

David, have you ever done this predictive text scheduling? With someone in this room?

Don't answer that. I'm your lawyer. Don't answer that.

Yeah, thank you. The reason I'm not going to answer that is that I've been told that I need to not answer that. But there are certain people who it's easy to do it with. Someone, for example, you can never do with is Dan, because Dan's texting doesn't follow any sort of through line, right? And he'll just text about something. You'll be in a conversation where you expect what will be next. And then he'll ask you something totally different. So you'd get caught immediately if you're not doing it in real time. Yeah.

So when you guys were talking, the thing I was thinking about, you just taught me that a text is different than an email. I send it in the sky and don't think about when it's going to be responded to. Don't care when it's going to be responded to.

That's why you're you and why it's so frustrating.

But no one around here responds to it either, though. Like, that's the other part of it.

Like, that's—

Well, that I can help you with.

Juju and Samson, I'm going to say, and Zaz, maybe Cody, you'll go, you'll— You'll go days without— like, I don't think of a text as anything but an email. It's something you just fart into the sky, and if it comes back, it comes back.

If it doesn't come back, it doesn't come back. Hey, look what replaced the telephone!

In—

so that people can have no human connection whatsoever.

Fart in the sky.

Just fart in the sky and get on with your life. Doesn't matter. Like, I don't expect somebody to actually latch onto my fart in the sky.

Now, every text deserves a response, and let me tell you this, David, uh, every text deserves a live response Not a scheduled response. I'm gonna part from my backing you here because I don't like the scheduled text.

Oh, but what Samson is saying sounds like the mind of a serial killer. That's pathological, psychological. I don't know. Samson, that's totally crazy. I don't think anybody in the world is doing what you're doing.

Faking human interaction.

I didn't make up send later.

No, doing it.

He's predicting a conversation.

No, I'm not talking about send later. You're doing something so pathologically AI that you're working like a computer to appear like a human being. Human being on a computer.

I'm doing it so I have more free time.

But to—

no one—

I really don't understand why you're comparing me to a serial killer. I'm not eating anybody.

No one— that's a cannibal. I haven't accused you of that yet. When what you're saying—

I don't believe any—

I don't believe anybody in our audience, anybody in our audience sends 9 different send letter emails or texts to somebody assuming just to pretend like they're making contact while they're going running, unless they're like having an affair and need to hide something from somebody. Like, I don't think that's your—

send later is not for affairs. No, that's what Signal is for.

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Dan Lebatard.

Go pee pee.

Stugatz.

Go pee pee.

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

Trish, do I have anything wrong here? That, like, do you think another person in our audience is behaving this way on email?

No, I mean, it really does track, David, with everything that people believe about you, which is that you're like cold, calculating, like the man, like AI, like not a human being.

Oy vey. I, I, Trista, I appreciate the—

I'm not saying I believe that. I'm just saying that's your brand. I have a different opinion of you now that, you know, we know each other. But before we met, I was like, yeah, this guy.

Well, don't judge a book by its cover. What a great example right then and there.

But now you're doing the thing that kind of like propagates the brand. Like, you got to stop doing that.

That's true.

Oh, we could use a makeover here. As you truth to power, like you telling him how to be more of a human being. There's a marketing arm. She can make you more human, David. She could if you'd listen to her.

I could do it really fast too.

Wow.

No, but Trista, I believe you can, but I don't think your top 10 ways to help me would be in my text etiquette. I believe you would go to the low-hanging fruit, which is trying to help me in ways that I know I need help. I didn't think you'd view my efficiency as something that is helpworthy.

Dave, did you see the father from the crash documentary has been placed on administrative leave after his school saw the documentary?

No, I did not. We just talked about that on the show recently. I can't remember when. It may have been last week. What is the update, Juju? Why did— what— why did they place him on administrative leave?

They're not giving too many details, but they were not happy with his appearance and some of the things he was saying on that, especially wearing the Boom shirt, bro. Like, that was not in great class.

That whole story, we throw back through line to last week. It just gets crazier and crazier. I was going to review a movie today that was even crazier than that because I'm really into these movies now, these documentaries which are teaching me stuff. Trista, I'm trying to learn and improve and evolve, and I can't believe the insanity that exists in this world. Stuff that I would not even think about. And yet Dan accuses me of being a serial killer.

You did let Ollie lick your hand, and it did feel like that was a breakthrough moment for you.

That was a very big moment, and I recall that actually because I was stuck, Trista. Here's what I was stuck with: I didn't want you— we had just met— and I didn't want to prove to you that everything that you knew about me was true that quickly. So I had to go to a place of total discomfort and allow a dog to lick my hand, all in the name of fomenting a relationship. What you didn't see is what happened after, which I had to double wash and triple sanitize, but I still viewed it as growth.

You know what? That's— if that's not love, David, I don't know what is.

Hold on, I have a little tear in my eye.

It's so much work to be him. It really is, uh, to try and figure out— I, I really don't think that this is normal human behavior to, uh, send 7, uh, emails into 18 hours later, text, whatever, text pretending to, to be having a conversation with somebody even though you're not actually there, that you're 18 hours ahead of the day on trying to fake being human.

Do I have this wrong?

Yes, I, I think it's very efficient. And he ain't sending this to his significant other. This is for y'all broke boys who don't deserve his time. I'mma schedule that.

No, Juju, that is not true. It is mostly to my significant other, number one, because it's very predictable in certain ways. Number 2, it is not about money. It really is not. To me, it's just about time and it's about certainty. I don't do this when you're, when you're negotiating a business deal or when you're doing anything like that, Juju, at all. I do the multiple send laters when it is a very matter-of-fact, predictable conversation. Please don't paint it incorrectly, Dan.

What if she texts you randomly, hey, how you feeling about a threesome?

And then you have hell no already pre-responded and now you're No, no, I love where your head's at because I've thought about that and I've gamed it out. Here's the answer. If you get a response that is so off track, you come clean with what you've done because it's so worth it to admit it because you're about to get something better. If I'm offered a threesome and I've shut the door because of my pre-scheduled texts, which she doesn't know about, I'm going to totally cop to the pre-scheduled text just so I can then say, I'm all in for the threesome.

But now you're— the threesome's out the door because you've revealed the pre-scheduled, uh, text messages.

No, no, I— that's apples and oranges. If someone is game for a threesome, they're not going to be dissuaded from that by a simple text schedule. Now, they could be dissuaded by a beer belly, they could be dissuaded by other bad personality traits or physical traits, but if they're in to start with then you don't ruin it with just a pre-scheduled text.

You've reached the threesome quota for the show. Thank you, Dave.

There's some sort of like modern-day Seinfeld episode in that where George is scheduling texts and all of a sudden he gets a request for a ménage à trois and he's like, Jerry, I scheduled the text, I couldn't change it.

It's a great point.

It just seems insane to me.

I don't think I'm overreacting when I It—

you must—

it just must be hard being you if you have to put this degree of thought into every transaction.

It's very clinical.

Well, I think it's not that hard, actually, Dan. I think it's harder to be you, who's all over the place and disorganized and can't be anywhere on time, doesn't know where he's going to be one particular day to the next, can't figure out what to do with his animals. I think it's way harder to be you than it is to be me.

Well, David, the only reason I think it's right is the only reason I think it's weird is that The whole act of texting takes a matter of seconds. I don't know about you, but when I send a text, I usually dictate it. It takes 5 seconds, right?

Do you know that 5 seconds adds up? Just 12 of those moments and you've got yourself an extra minute. You do 24 of those and you've got 2 minutes. You know what you can do with 2 minutes? As you sound like me, it's my mental savings.

You know about that 2 minutes?

How do you know I need 2 whole minutes?

Sound like Tom Dundon over here.

Dan doesn't take care of the Lakers, fired everyone and no one cares.

How come that Dundon goes to Portland, fires some people? It's front page news yesterday. The Dodgers, the Lakers fire half their front office and no one cares.

Well, he waited a year. This guy waited 60 days. He's efficient like you. He pre-scheduled the firings.

It seems smart. And his team, by the way, Stanley, his team may be in the Stanley Cup there, I think a game away, guys, which means something's got to be going right in Carolina. Carolina. I'm just saying. And what Mark Walter was doing in LA, whether it took him a year or not, is debatable. It could have been part of the initial contract that he had the right to combine the two front office operations. I think it's just good business. It's what Wayne Huizenga tried to do when he owned all the teams in Florida back in the day. You guys are all— you may all remember that. But it turns out the economies of scale with owning multiple teams are not as great as one thinks going into it.

Oh, let me backtrack on that because I don't have the sophistication to actually know if what he said was just true. But you're the one guy in the national media siding with Dundon. You think that his way of being cheap, the only reputation that people have of the new owner of the Portland Trail Blazers, the only thing they know is that he was also cheap, being cold about how he built the Carolina Hurricanes. So you're here to defend him because I haven't heard anybody.

I think you got to listen to— I know you're busy, but nothing personal. I covered this extensively, so I'll just review part of it. He lied to you about some stuff and he was honest about other stuff. He is lying to you when he tells you that he had people check out of the hotel. I don't know if you saw that, but he required people to check out at a certain time before the team bus and they were sitting in the lobby. I explained to our audience and I'll explain to yours, that's not how it works. When a sports team travels, you get every room until whatever time the team bus leaves. That is part of the contract that the team has with the hotel. There is no late checkout fee. There is no early check-in fee. The rooms are ready whenever you get to your hotel, whether it's 5 a.m. or 1 p.m., your rooms are ready. And when you leave, whether it's an afternoon game or a nighttime game, you get your room until then. So that comment that he made was wrong. But the comment about trying to trim fat in a front office makes a lot of sense to me.

I haven't heard— you're Portland-based, Trista. Like, have you heard anybody come out in defense? Once a narrative on cheap gets thrown around and it's provable, it's empirical with the Carolina Hurricanes, I haven't heard a whole lot of people defending it. And I hate when we don't have the ammunition to come at David because he knows more about business than we do. Can he be corrected on anything he's saying in defense of a Portland owner that is getting only bad press even as he takes one team toward the championship?

Well, what I would say is this. I think the NHL is very different than the NBA. Like, NHL is more of a not an individualistic culture, right? You have guys like with bones popping out of their shin. They've got, you know, torn ACLs, MCLs. They're out there playing. The NBA is the lifestyle. Like, the— you want to be an NBA player partly because of the lifestyle that is the life, right? And the people that are working in the NBA in the front office, they could be doing a myriad of other things for a lot more money, working for brands, doing partnerships. But they are with the NBA because of the cachet, because of the lifestyle, because of everything that comes along with it. And if Dundon wants to trim the fat, I believe that will be a talent drain. I'd love to get your thoughts on that.

You don't ever want to do a talent drain when you— trimming the fat and talent drain is an oxymoron. Those two, when you do layoffs like that, you're either laying off because of budgets, in which case you go to the highest paid people, which in many cases are the players. Obviously, one player you get rid of is more than, you know, 15 people in the front office. But trimming the fat is when you have 4 people in corporate sales for 4 teams all calling on the same company in LA, and instead you only need 2 people because they can do it for the Lakers and the Dodgers. So of course you're going to let go of 2 people. So any sort of situation like that, that's what I would call trimming the fat. And you just have to be smart about who you choose because no one wants to talent drain. You want to do the opposite, actually.

But if you're there 3 months, 2 months, and you're coming from a completely different sport, completely different industry, how do you even have the knowledge to know what the fat is?

During due diligence, Trista, you have met with the existing officers in the company. You have gotten a list of every employee, what their salary is. You've gotten their reviews as part of due diligence, and you've spoken to their bosses. So you don't come up with, oh, we should fire Joe Smith in corporate sales. That's not what Dundon did. He would get the names from people saying, here is your job. You've got to cut blank dollars out of your budget. Where would you cut it from? It's not him looking at a name and, oh, I don't like the way that name sounds. We'll fire that person. That's just an overly simplistic way to look at it. But of course, mistakes can be made because anytime your boss wants you fired, there could be personal reasons. There could be lack of performance reasons. Who knows? But a new owner of any company comes in and has to rely on existing management.

Dan Levitar.

Tatas.

Stugatz.

Tatas.

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

So Samson, I've told you again and again, exceptional on all of the business stuff. Nothing Personal covers that well, but he's also very good on baseball. And it's a pretty cool time in baseball, David, when you've got Christopher Sanchez throwing 44 and 2/3 scoreless innings. I mean, he's going to approach some rarefied air soon on just nobody can hit him while Ohtani goes 2 straight starts. Leadoff home run and then no-hitter and scoreless innings because his ERA is under 1 and he can win the Cy Young. When you talk about this era of mastery in baseball, what are you most awed by?

I'm awed by the fact that we're not teaching people how to hit anymore. That's the fact. We don't have a two-strike approach. We have people swinging out of their asses because that's how they get paid. They get paid for launch angle, launch, launch angle and exit velocity. They don't get paid for situational hitting. And that makes me sound like a grumpy old man. And I don't mean to be. I'm trying to win games and score runs. Now, Christopher Sanchez is doing— you're right, Dan. It's only happened one other time since 2000, since 1913. One other time. Greg Cody, Oral Hershiser. It's the only other pitcher who ever went a calendar month without giving up an earned run ever.

Crazy.

Since 1913. So you're seeing history right now. And that's pretty cool with Ohtani. Again, he had 99 pitches. They pulled him out in the 6th inning. He hit a batter. He walked 4 guys. He didn't give up a hit and he hit a home run to lead off. But he looked tired and he looked frustrated. And the Dodgers have a big decision with what to do with him going forward because it's hard to be so great both ways. And that's what he's been. But that, that can't last.

Well, can we think about this for a second? Think about what he is saying there, because Craig Counsell complained, hey, the Dodgers, the rest of us have 13 pitchers. They have 13 pitchers and Ohtani. And what, what he's doing physically, the mastery of it, is unprecedented for a baseball player of any kind. It's just sheer lunacy for him to be not just pitching, but pitching this well. The toll on the human body— there's no human body that can keep doing all of that, is there?

No, it doesn't exist. And it used to be you could take the Greenies, and you both have been in clubhouses with the Greenies, I'm sure of that. And you could do it with, with help through pharmaceuticals. But now it's much harder to do that and it just wears on you. The MLB season wears on these players in a way that I never appreciated as a fan until I got into the front office and I watched their bodies get battered and what they had to do to prepare themselves and what they had to do to be ready to play 162 games. And it really got me understanding the concept of load management. Something that I never understood before.

That is the least joyous and most poignant, poisonous way to celebrate Ohtani. Oh, it's going to all break soon.

No, I love watching him. He's the best player I've ever seen. He's the greatest baseball player I've ever seen in my life. I would take him any day because he gives you a top of the rotation starter and a top of the lineup hitter. And he's an all-star both ways. You know, we had Dontrelle Willis hit 8th a couple of times. Most of your pitchers It's a waste. They keep their jackets on and hope they can bunt a guy over. Now your starting pitcher, who, by the way, is unhittable, hits home runs and gappers and gets on base and steals bases. Oh, it's unbelievable.

You just brought me back, dude. Pitchers running with jackets on.

Yes.

Chris Moan.

I'm telling you, Chris Moan.

Look, there have been two creepy moments in this segment. One of them was David Sampson, the way that he didn't want compared orgies.

And he said oranges in a way that felt aggressively sensual.

That's apples and oranges.

Yeah.

See, there was a snort in there.

There.

There was a snort and a thrust and then—

yeah, come on, that's apples and oranges.

Which you like more, Chris, the pitcher with the jacket on the bases or the catcher on deck?

Oh, with his shin pads, with the, with the guards on. Ah, I think you still get that some. So I just— I put, put a jacket on anybody.

That is wonderful. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show.

Do you miss the pitcher bunting and then putting his jacket on? Running the bases with his jacket on.

We don't even have those. They're not standard issued anymore. So it's been, I'd say, 18 years. What are we, 2026? More. It's been 20 years since there were standard issue pitcher jackets.

I feel like— have we shifted our strategy with what, like, keeping your arm warm is? Because I feel like I don't even see pitchers put their one arm, you know, in between innings in the jacket.

Yeah.

Do they use the towel now? Have we— is that outdated, that strategy of, like, keeping your arm warm?

It's proven not to be a thing. It's also bizarre. Like NBA introductions back in the day, they wore their warm-up suits to be introduced. Now they go out and rip them off. They rip them off. That's what you're supposed to do. Not anymore.

Make that ball boy pick it up.

Yeah.

And put up—

yes, put those buttons back together. It's difficult to do.

I, I do like Jalen Brunson or Donovan Mitchell. They unwrap their knee like ace bandages. They stand at the scorer's table to unwrap stuff, and then they put their mouthguard in. That, by the way, it's the grossest part about sports is what you do in between plays with your mouthguard, like putting it in your helmet or putting in your sock. I could vomit. But no, there's no more ripping of the warmups. That bothers me.

David, what's New York City going to be like if the Knicks win the finals? Like, you know, it's fun. We say, oh, they're celebrating outside on 7th Avenue after the Knicks Knicks win a game, but like, will it actually be nutty if the Knicks win?

It depends where. Here on the Upper East Side, you know, there's people are at bars watching it, but it's civil and people are just enjoying it. And there's a lot of people wearing Knicks stuff. And there's this look that you get where, you know, if you walk around in Mets stuff, you're not getting many looks right now other than sort of a scance. But when you're wearing a Knicks shirt, it's people. It's like this camaraderie. That's why we love having professional sports in cities and why there should be public financing of stadiums. Games because of what it does to a community. Right now, New York is all about the Knicks, and it's pretty damn cool to watch.

What did you make of Reggie Miller saying this?

Whoever wins this series, I've seen enough from the Knicks. The Knicks are going to be favored in the finals to win it all.

I'm just telling you right now.

Yeah, I want him to use code Dan on DraftKings, because if you do that, you'll find that no, the Knicks are tremendous underdogs. Flags against both the Thunder and the Spurs, as they rightly should be. But I love, you know, the thought of Reggie saying that. But of course, it's complete horseshit.

He tried to walk it back yesterday. I don't believe him.

Oh, he did.

He tried to walk it back yesterday on the Dan Patrick Show where he said, no, no, what I was talking about was most people are going to want them to win. They're going to be the favorite of the two teams among the fans. There's no way that's what he meant.

No, it's not. That's so ridiculous. Why walk something back? Why not just say you were wrong? It turns out that I went on DraftKings and I found out that they're total underdogs. I would have much more respect for that than trying to walk it back and say it's like gaslighting an entire country of gamblers.

This was a very divisive topic yesterday. Me and Dan agreed. The rest of the room thought that this was vulgar. Disgusting. Did you— well, I don't think, I don't think Juju thought that. I don't think he actually weighed in. I don't want to speak for— I don't want to speak for Juju on this. I don't think Juju weighed in. So it's the, the DX Suck It by Uribe.

What, what, as a baseball guy, with no context, the DX Suck It by Uribe?

Nah, people know.

Do they?

No, they know.

Yeah, well, sorry, you can tee it up, Dan.

No, no, I'm, I'm just— I'm trying to help for those who do not know.

What— for the audio audience, for the audio audience that has no clue what the DX suck it by Uribe is.

I thought it was wanna ribeye, I'm not gonna lie.

No, it's not. Yeah, so Trista, here's the problem with that. You better be in the right situation and you better be on the right team with the right manager. But when you're striking out a Cardinal player and you look in the dugout and you do that suck it it, you're going to get in trouble, which he did from his own manager to the point that Pat Murphy did a press conference where he addressed it. And that is a rare thing for a manager to call out a player in that public way. It means that it was a real problem in that clubhouse and it caused divisiveness and anger and frustration. And so he had to cut it off privately and publicly. That was a big deal for a Brewers team that's playing great.

But it's kind of awesome though, right?

It's not necessary. I'm not a big fan. This happened with the guy who celebrated even though his mother had died and it was Mother's Day. I'm not a fan of that. I want to win.

Wow.

Just strike the guy out and go back to the dugout.

You're not a fan of—

score a touchdown, give the ball to the referee.

Oh, for the love of God.

But who gonna do the gritty?

Okay, so I remember— here's the calamity of this is the following, right? This is how they keep what Uribe does out of baseball. It's the way that the sport does it. I remember being in a clubhouse, Six-Fingered Alfonseca, he gave up a home run and then he hit the next guy on purpose and everyone knew he did it on purpose. And when I got to the clubhouse, he was weeping because of how Bonilla and Alou had been yelling at him, screaming at him, "You're gonna get us killed because you're an idiot." And he's just sobbing in the locker room. Like, it's Uribe— I want Uribe to behave how he wants, but the The rest of the crew has to be in on, we're not going to throw at the other guys because we don't like this in our sport. Like, it's just asinine, but it's how they keep the sport police.

It's how you keep a clubhouse, Dan. You, you should know this, Dan. You run a business. You have a very strained ecosystem that you have to monitor at all times, don't you? You, you bemoan the fact you have to do that, but that's what being a manager is. That's what being a president is. You have to just be aware of what's going on in the clubhouse. You just talked about Dart and Abdul Carter. Why do you think Jackson Dart had to address the Giants clubhouse today? He addressed it because you had to protect the ecosystem. So of course he had to meet the entire clubhouse. That's apples and oranges.

What was that? You're snorting like a truffle pig.

I've never been around a truffle pig. That's— I like an Orange Cage movie, though. I've had a long day, Dan. And it's just getting longer.

Sorry about the early text.

Just 10, 15 minutes.

So was he sending you the music to approve it or not approve it? Like, were you going to be okay with it? Like, what was the nature of the text exchange? He was going to you for creative?

No, he said, this is what we've prepared. What is your view? Are you okay with it? And so I had to listen to it, which I did. And then I responded immediately, 2 minutes later, which is all it took to listen to the intro. And I responded with, hey, if it may— let me just read you— if it makes you happy.

Exactly.

That's why it's my response.

When I saw it this morning, I'm like, perfect. So he hates me, but I can play it.

That's it.

That's all. Listen, it's not— I'd like you, Dan, to treat things a little more seriously as it relates to nothing personal in sports business, etc. But if it makes you happy to have me saying pee pee and whatever else that I do from time to time when I'm enjoying my time with you, then go, go forward, prosper.

Send me, send me that by, by text. Go forward, prosper. Just off the 6 hours from now. I know I'd like him to do it. So I'm getting that for 7, 7 months straight in the middle of the night. Just prosper. See you later.

That's apples and oranges.

Yeah, it's a truffle pig. Tiny little truffle pig.