Transcript of Dan's Road Trip To Buc-ee's | Hour 3 (feat. Jessica Smetana) New

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Jessica is going to be here in a little while, and I've rarely seen Zazz as angry as he was during the break where he's like, where the bleep is Tony? Like, I wanted to talk Wembenyama with Tony. Mike's telling me I'm not doing a good show and we got to do other topics. And Tony just vanished. He disappeared. He disappeared. And then I'm told, oh, there's FIFA toys across the street and he wants to play in an amusement park of soccer. The World Cup is in town and he didn't tell anybody he was going over there. Zazz seemed legitimately pissed.

I mean, he's— Tony's here doing a show and all of a sudden it's playtime?

Yeah, he's a leader on the Wemba-Yama hate front. Wemba-Yama, uh, Wemba-Yama, Wemba-Yama, Wemby. This is why the ref calls him Wemby.

Cut it up, Wemby! Let's go, Wemby!

You're good.

Yeah, Victor. You call him Vic.

Carve out your own lane. V-dubs.

Uh, Tony was first to I beat the rush to hating Victor.

Well, he was second, but it's all right.

Second, well, you weren't hating him, you were saying he was gonna be a bust.

Really?

No, I said he's either gonna get injured, you better hope he gets injured.

Were you a Bobo guy?

I, no, no, no, I wasn't, but I knew all about Wemby, saw him a bunch. I'm like, you better hope this guy gets injured, and I think he definitely will get injured, which he hasn't, because then he's just gonna make the game unfun and super unfair. We're almost there, but he got, he gets winded, so that That might be a little Achilles heel.

It's terrible to get winded when flames are climbing.

Sucks up the oxygen, Dan.

Yeah. Jessica is here and now Tony is also here. Tony with Jessica at the same time. Tony from a soccer amusement park. Jessica, forgive me for doing this for you. This is just bad planning by us and Tony doing whatever the hell that he wants. So Tony, what are you doing out there and what is out there?

Dan, glad that you think of me when you think of Wembley. I really appreciate that. David Jacoby, everything is what he said was completely true. I was 100% right with him. Um, Dan, I know when you think of soccer you think of me, so I came out here to the Fan Fest zone for FIFA that's happening right across the street here at Bayfront Park. Um, it's not open to the public yet, so we got exclusive access prior to. And what I'm gonna do is you're gonna talk to Jess, you guys are gonna do the show, put me in picture-in-picture. We're gonna walk around the entire grounds and find cool stuff to show people on a secondary little screen. So can we do that?

Okay, yeah, sure. We'll make it messy, and if you have anything, you call for the ball and we'll see, uh, what happens there as we try to juggle and spin a whole bunch of plates. So Jessica is with us. She has a fiancé who is Knicks insane. I think it's uproariously funny. We didn't mention when talking about the best stories in sports, the Brendan Sorsby situation is uproarious, including that the— now, you know, now we're going to the judges and the rulings and they'll settle this whole thing in February. When we go to the courts, which of course is after the season, after he's been like— I— when you talk about the chaos of college football and sort of a fracture at the fault line of everything that's happening, a gambling quarterback who's going to be able to play on an injunction and make money, uh, is as crazy a story as college football has right now. So Jessica, what do you make of the latest developments here, though I explained them poorly?

No, I think you explained them pretty well. So we got an injunction, he's eligible to play this season. Obviously Texas Tech's very happy about that, his, his lawyer is very happy about that. I'm sure he's very happy about it. Their argument was that it would, um, you know, be bad for his mental health if he couldn't play this season, and it would harm him permanently, which we talked about last week. Um, wasn't an antitrust argument. So there's been a lot of like argument over this Protect College Sports Act, which I— Dan, I don't even want to get into all that because I think it's boring and it's probably not going to pass. But if you want to talk about it, we can. Where we're at now is that I kind of feel like there's— the only thing that would stop him from playing is public pressure. And I don't think Texas Tech will cave to public pressure because I think there's too much money involved in this. And I think that they fully expect that he's going to play this season. But the Big 12 is obviously, you know, there's been all these stories about all these athletic directors outside of the Big 12 not wanting to schedule Texas Tech, which like I didn't really think Georgia was going to schedule Texas Tech anyways.

And the Big 12 ADs all being mad about it. But I don't know what recourse they have. I know that there's some fuzzy bylaws where maybe they could punish a team with a supermajority. But is that in their best interest? And then what happens with Cincinnati? How is— how are they involved in all of this? Do they get a vote on that? Like, it's just a complete mess.. And I think all of the issues in college football with lack of collective bargaining and these issues of like now, you know, certain leagues are talking about self-governance being more important and getting away from NCAA governance. It's all jumbled up in this mess, but it has, I think, brought everyone together in that I don't know anyone who is not a Texas Tech fan that's like, I think this is good. I think he should play this season.

If I could mention real quick on Zazzle Show 2.0 today. I did a lot on Brendan Sorsby. My co-host on ESPN Radio, Amber Wilson, who's also a lawyer, does a great job and an easy way of breaking this down for everybody, what's actually going there. So if you want to check that out, that'd be great. Uh, Jess, yesterday I, I essentially got laughed at in here when I took the stance, what— why doesn't some higher up at Texas Tech, university president, someone there, you know, involved with the school say, we don't want to be represented this way and we're not going to allow him to play.

Can you think of someone who is high up at Texas Tech who would be a name that we're all familiar with that would have a say in this, that would choose to have that be their opinion on it? Because I can think of one person very closely associated with Texas Tech who's already made a statement and has said, this is a broken system, which, yeah, it is a broken system, but it is also, uh, this is kind of separate from how broken the system is. This is something that should be enforceable in spite of the system being—

I honestly—

obviously not, Jessica.

I honestly am having trouble coming up with a hypothetical that I could produce out of fiction to put at the center of the problems that this sport is having. Then you have an almost universal consensus in sports where everyone argues about everything that it's wrong for this quarterback to be playing, but because money rules, he's going to play. I can't come up with some sort of fictional example for you where someone gets to play where everybody in the world thinks that person shouldn't play and he still or she still plays.

Yeah, and to talk about like the mental health element of it, because like again, this was not him saying that like, I won't be able to make this money if I don't play this year. It was like, hey, I have a mental health condition that compelled me to bet, and so if I can't play, that this is going to impact me negatively. It's really kind of wacky, Dan. And yeah, it's hard to think of another comparison to what's happened here at all, which is why it feels like this sort of like universal coming together moment. I talked about this on my podcast this week too with Gojo, The Echoes, Echoes, Echoes podcast. It feels like maybe this is a good PR win for the NCAA because they can just point to an echo, echo chamber. Point to this is like, look, we, we need this legislation passed, or we need help to enforce our rules. And, you know, look at how ridiculous this has gotten, and we, you know, like, this shouldn't happen. But I really, you know, at the end of the day, we all— even though the NCAA is right in this case, like, you shouldn't be able to play— it is the NCAA's fault that all of this has happened over the last however many decades you want to blame the NCAA for stuff.

All of them, I guess. So it just, uh, yeah, it's We can— we can— we're all just gonna have to live in a world where— and again, unless they cave to, to public pressure, I don't know if they will— we will watch him play. And to my point about mental health, it is going to be detrimental for his mental health to play this season because now this is the face of a broken system to everyone. Like, he's— Brendan Sorsby was not a household name last season, Dan, and now everyone's going to be rooting against this kid. It's going to be ugly, I think. I mean, it already would have been because of transferring inside your own conference among like Big 12 fans. But I do like the human part of me, even though obviously I think he made a mistake and he should feel some consequences for it. I do feel bad for him now because he's going to be the face of what a disaster the NCAA system is.

Can I run through with you guys, though, where it is a long time ago that the NFL had a conundrum in that, well, how do we be moral about our punishments when Ray Rice punches someone in an elevator? What do we do here? Well, he can't play. He says the public and peer pressure. He can't play for a team, right? You can't have that video out there and he gets to play. And then you get arguments on both sides. This one has no arguments. Like, there's no arguments on both sides. And there was video that should have led to nobody having any arguments about that. But I thought we all agreed on gambling. I thought that was a consensus, and the opinion of everyone seems to suggest that it is. That can't play. It's not allowed to play.

I mean, it's a, it's a fair point by you that we seem to draw the line at something that directly affects the competitiveness of the game on the field and not something that is a crime and morally abhorrent. Although this also, there may be subsequent criminal charges here. That part is still sort of out in the air somewhere. We don't exactly know if there will be, but Yeah, it does seem to be, I guess, for, for better or I would say for worse, that does seem to be where the line is, Dan, that you can't be watching a football game and think, do the players in this game have any sort of wager on the line of how this thing can go? Because that does sort of defeat the entire purpose of the game and the suspension of belief that like this is a real thing that's happening.

Going to tag in because you said morally abhorrent and I perked up because we'll be live on Saturday on our YouTube page for reaction to the USA's match against Paraguay. Nate Bukaty will be joining me there. But obviously a lot leaves soccer fans pretty conflicted here. That's why the show is called Morally Abhorrent. But there is one good story out there, Jess, and I, I'm super pumped to talk to you about Freddy L.A.

Yeah, Dan, I don't know if you've seen this guy. He's, he's a German guy. He's been traveling around the Southeast for the World Cup, going to all of the most American places and reacting to them on his Twitter account. He went to a Buc-ee's, he went to a Waffle House. Um, side note, Dan, I was talking to Chris Cody about this over text. Have you ever been to a Buc-ee's?

No.

Okay, yeah, we were both right about that one then. Um, he's just been going to lots of places across the United States and like reacting to them, and it is pretty fun to see our broken country through the eyes of someone who's never been here before, experiencing things for the first time. And just what wonder and awe I would feel. I, I mean, I guess I can sort of remember the first time I went to a Buc-ee's. It was a pretty remarkable experience. And I'm happy that this guy is getting to experience this now for the first time.

And in a super American moment, he casually stumbled upon a Confederate monument. That was fun too.

I'm waiting for him to get milkshake ducked. I don't know about you, Mike, but it's too feel-good. Like, there's got to be something here. I went on his account. I was like, are we even sure this guy's German? Because this would be a great bit if he was just like some guy from Alabama pretending he was German.

Uh, Jess, I started having the conversation before the show. I'm like, wait a second, is this guy a psyop.

This is right, right. Look how great America is. This is awesome. What are you guys talking about? The World Cup's gonna be great.

So we had to go, we had to do a deep dive and saw him at other, uh, European soccer competitions to make sure that this wasn't like some fake internet thing. But yeah, he went to, uh, Jordan-Harris Stadium to watch an international friendly, and he's like, why the hell is an eagle flying? This is amazing. This is Auburn, Alabama. This is a tradition there. But for a friendly, they have the same tradition, the eagle flying. And he's like, this is the most absurd stadium experience whatever, which is a fun part of the World Cup. Non-World Cup venues— England played in Tampa and they were really confused as to why there was a pirate ship in the end zone. And the Americans that were there supporting England started the wave and the English people were like, no, good. They literally waved their finger and said, no, we're not doing that.

Good. Why are people so anti-wave? Like, I feel like I'm anti— this happened when I became an adult. When I was little, no one argued about the wave. I grew more and more people came out against the wave. I am pretty indifferent over it, but why is there so much hate?

It's— I'm not anti-wave, I'm anti-wave during certain situations. Lulls in the action, go get your wave on. Our team's on offense, what are you doing? You don't do the wave when your team's on offense. So I think there's like, there's some nuance to the wave game. Summer always hits different once the big game starts stacking up. Now you've got finals games on every other night. Baseball's rolling all week, racing on the weekends, and suddenly everybody's looking for an excuse to get together. The other night, a buddy texted me, "We've got the game on, come through." I figured I'd stop by for maybe an hour. That was optimistic. Next thing you know, everybody's locked into the game and we're all part of the coaching staff. Somebody's yelling at the ref, somebody else is suddenly an expert on pitch strategy, and nobody's even pretending they're leaving early anymore. It's one of those nights where you take a sip of Miller Lite, look around, and realize, yeah, This is exactly what summer is supposed to be. That's why Miller Lite is always part of these nights for me. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink when it's hot outside, and perfect for long nights hanging with friends watching games.

An all-American summer starts with an all-American beer, Miller Lite. Go to millerlite.com/dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

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Dan Lebatard!

Greg, how's your birthday going so far?

It's going fantastic. My wife and I are staying home tonight. We're watching the debate on TV. We're gonna do something special for dinner. It's a nice day for me so far.

Stugatz! That sounds like a not a super nice day.

Last night, the debate.

Old people love that shit.

Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, that's exactly right. Old people do love that shit, and I'm old now. I can't deny it anymore.

Now this is the Don Levitar Show with the Stugatz.

Is this— we're just talking about football though, right? Because like in soccer, where are we again?

Constant action, you know. Yeah, you can do the wave in soccer if you're up like multiple goals.

I'm talking about life. There's no scenario in life where I'm doing the wave.

Chris Cody loves the wave, says he's very good at the wave, can lead a wave, can support a wave, can punctuate. I'll get the wave going.

You've got— you've been one of the guys that gets the wave going.

Put on the chair. All right, here we go. In rhythm now. 1, 2, 3. This is what he does. Yeah. Yeah. See, look at that. That's some expert wave giving. Usually takes 3 to 4 to get it going. The first 2, no one knows.

Yeah, that's true.

I've seen it at a baseball game. Dan, I have a question. I have never seen it at a baseball game. If you had to guess, like, if you could describe what you think the experience of going to Buc-ee's is, could you do that for us?

I have no idea. What you guys were just showing me felt like a wonderful something between Cracker Barrel and I— what am I going to say? I don't even know.

You know about gas stations, right?

Yeah, but I don't— what you guys were just showing me and a Buffalo Wild Wings, but like, like some— so what?

I don't—

I'm not—

not close. Isn't it like a Wawa? Like a Wawa, right?

No, it's like— it's like more— I would say it's more like a Walmart Supercenter with brisket and the cleanest bathrooms you will find along I-95, Dan, than anything. But yes, there is. Gas also, but gas is like, you know, not the main thing. The main thing is the food and the bathroom for me.

So a Costco-sized Buffalo Wild Wings?

Yes, but a rest stop.

Dan, have you ever been anywhere?

So you think that because I haven't been to Buc-ee's and don't know what Buc-ee's is? I've been to a gas station.

Dude, they have a beef jerky wall. A beach trip, people! It's incredible, Dan!

What if we take Dan— this is a show idea for you guys— take him to the nearest Buc-ee's, which I believe is Daytona Beach, and just let him walk around and someone film him. I would watch that.

Tony is jumping up and down, and I don't know whether he was doing the wave or calling for the show to come to him. I did see that Rose was partaking in certain liabilities there where she seemed to be climbing a rock wall and had no harness, and all of that was very dangerous and irresponsible. Tony, what do you think? What did you find out there that was interesting in the fan zone, FIFA activations, everything that's going on there? Right now you're just in front of about a dozen porta-potties.

Yeah, I'm in front of a dozen porta-potties. More on that in a second. But we did see a naked rock climbing wall in which I was like, you know what, maybe for the show I'll start climbing up the wall and do like a fake look, I'm going up the wall. As I look back, Rose is like 10 feet in the air already, no harness. There's a rope that was attached to the wall. Wall, and the problem is the rope is how you like go down, right? You don't have a harness, you just kind of like scale off the, off the rock wall. So she didn't realize it went down, so she almost fell off. So I almost had to like stand there and catch her. But Dan, I finally made it. Jeremy texted me this joke: I finally made it to the fan zone. D— Dan, look at this.

Oh, there it is. He did text you the joke.

The fan zone.

The fan—

look at this.

Yeah.

Good.

Right, Cody?

Am I right?

Look at the way to blame Jeremy on it because you knew that joke wasn't going to work.

And so, so preemptively, all his fans, they're actual fans. For those listening at home.

Yes. Thank you, Jessica, for including the audio audience on Tony. Just step back and you saw the camera shot go from a dozen porta-potties, which is not the way to celebrate the World Cup and the activation fan zone, to about 40 fans that he's surrounded by. Tony, thank you for going out there. And ruining the last hour of the show when Zazz wanted to talk about Wemby with you. Thank you for doing that. There's more ruining to do.

Okay.

There's more ruining to do.

All right.

We'll check back in with you later. Let's see what Jeremy texts you that is unfunny that we can also go to.

I will say though, Dan, you, me, trip to Daytona. We get the Buc-ee's Big Buckin' Brisket Sandwich. We get some beaver chips, little pecan pie, and get some gas while we're there.

Let's go.

Don't worry, Dan. They also sell kombucha there. I've gotten it.

Thank you.

Chipotle, pimento cheese.

You guys are always thinking of me. I do appreciate that.

Thank you, Andrew. You're welcome. Your thoughtfulness in that regard. The way I was describing it, I wouldn't have assumed that Buc-ee's did sell kombucha.

I would have guessed— They have everything, everything that your heart can— and again, cleanest bathrooms along I-95.

So a Southern-fried Walmart. That's what it is.

Yeah. With Buffalo Wild Wings slash TD Bank. Yeah.

With gluten-free cinnamon sweet beaver nuggets.

You in on that?

It's kind of like a HomeGoods.

You know, on a road trip? When's the last road trip you took?

What do you mean? Like, just with whom? Like, I go places with my wife. With your wife and your driver.

The last time you got in a car and drove for several hours.

Yeah, when's the last time?

How is Lehman doing? I can't remember. I don't know the answer to the question. I'm not avoiding the question. I don't remember the last time I took a boys trip, if that's what you're asking.

No, no, not a boys trip. You pile into a car and you open up the maps and it says over 2 and a half hours.

And a half hours. Maybe you got a sandwich you made for the, you know, person you're driving with.

I don't know. Yeah, you send your personal assistant to a Buc-ee's and have her tell you what it was like. That kind of thing.

Yep. So you don't know the last time that you did that? It's probably like when you were on a beat somewhere, right?

No, I went, I'm gonna say 3 and a half years ago with Valerie and her brother to Disney World. So drove to Orlando. Perfect.

Next time you do that, stop at Buc-ee's in Daytona.

Does that count?

Not because you had— Daytona's north.

You had the VIP tour, so that does not count. Well, wait a minute. Is it a road trip or is it the VIP tour? Like, how does that work? If it includes a VIP tour, it's not a road trip. I drove myself. Does that— yeah, that's a road trip. A road trip with multiple people? What's a road trip? Define it for me.

Counting Orlando as a road trip?

Yeah, it's over a 3-hour drive.

So define it for me.

I mean, I guess.

State lines.

I'm shocked you didn't fly private.

How many miles? So you want me to drive from Miami out of Florida to drive that? That's what you're saying a road trip is?

That's definitely a road trip.

When's the last time any of you did that? That's a 14-hour drive.

I've done that. I've driven to Atlanta.

No, it's a 7-hour drive to Savannah, first of all. Second of all, there is a Buc-ee's in Brunswick in Georgia, which is right along 95. So you could drive to that Buc-ee's and back, and I think it would count.

How's Lehman doing tonight before the biggest game in the history of games? And how was he after the last one?

Biggest game in 20 years.

And does he also hate Wembley?

No, he does not hate Wembley. I don't hate Wembley. I still like Wembley. If they were playing anyone but the Knicks, I would be rooting very hard for Wembley. And he's doing better than I am. I'm so nervous, Dan, because to me tonight feels like a must-win game for the Knicks. And I don't know if we can give it that label, but I'm going to give it that label because if this thing gets tied up at 2-2, the energy in the city, it already started to shift after Monday night because things got a little weird around MSG. And I feel like we might go fully on tilt if it goes to 2-2.

Greg Cody said if the Spurs win tonight, the series is over.

Yeah, the winner tonight wins the series. 100% unequivocally.

That's a must-win game.

Then he said 100%.

Yeah, it is 100%.

Bank it. So whoever wins tonight, if the series still goes to Game 7, you wouldn't have to watch because I know.

Yeah, yeah.

The winner.

I think he's right about that. Yes.

Thank you. How—

Jessica, all aboard.

How many people have to be involved for what took place out of— outside of Madison Square Garden to be described accurately as a riot?

I don't know. I don't know, but I do know that people did burn sage outside of it the other day to, like, get the bad vibes off. So maybe that will help us.

But you don't have a number. You don't have a number for me because that— did it feel riotous to you, those Knicks fans fighting each other after the game and tearing the jersey off of a Spurs fan? How many people do I have to put in that fight for it to feel like a riot?

I think a riot can be any number, Dan. Famously, the group Pussy Riot, it's like 10 people.

So, sorry, I didn't know that. You know about that Pussy Riot?

Thank you, Jessica, appreciate it. Appreciate the time, thank you.

Echo, echo, echo.

Little mesquite peppered beef jerky, Dan?

I know that you guys are making fun of me and my driver because we go everywhere together. I don't think many of you are routinely taking road trips, and I also think you're defining, you moved the goalposts on me throughout on what the definition of a road trip was. I would assume anyone listening to this this would say that if you go with more than one person to someplace like Orlando that takes you 3.5 hours to get by car and you drive yourself, that qualifies as a road trip.

You don't think I'm a road trip guy? I'm a huge road trip guy. I watch my football team play in a lot of college towns, a lot of college towns that don't have direct flights. Yeah, I road trip it all the time. I also have a kid, man.

A road trip has a very specific definition. A road trip involves an overnight stay at a roadside motor court motel that has a shuffleboard court in the front. That's a hotel? Yes, a roadside motor court motel.

Greg Cody, I will let you know, is a man of the people. His wife is more elite. She would never stay in a motel with a shuffleboard out front. But Greg Cody, as I said, doesn't mind a spring break type of motel that costs $49 a night that has some shuffleboard and has a dozen Miller Lites nearby.

Damn right, you got that right. And a pool out front that has no water in it.

/shower.

A motel pool is something that it will not surprise you, Greg Cody, man of the people, doesn't mind a motel pool.

I don't.

But your wife would not be caught physically dead.

No, she wouldn't. She'd be at the Four Seasons about 30 miles away.

Doesn't do pools, really. It's a complexion thing. That kind of thing.

I really don't think I don't think that Greg Cody's inner monolog needs to be talking about Earlene. I think that's a dangerous area. You've been playing with fire. The flames are climbing throughout the show today, and you've been playing—

The sun rode it.

You've been playing with fire. No, but see, you're—

No. Oh, have I been playing with fire?

Yes.

Have those flames been climbing higher and higher?

Yes, I already knew that, sir.

It doesn't make it right.

Steve Martin. He said it in a legal scream. Get over it, everybody. Talking about it like it's the goddamn Alamo. Jesus.

Dan Lebatard.

I feel like we need to normalize saying the scientific terms for organs on the air.

Like, if someone—

yes, you know what?

If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say he took a foul ball to the penis.

Say it. Stugatz.

That free kick hit him right in the cock-a-doodle-doo.

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz. The fact that, uh, you cannot muster enthusiasm for the NBA Finals because the Knicks are there and because you're rabid with anger that your Miami Heat have been passed so overtly by one of their rivals—

I'm more upset about the Stanley Cup, to be completely honest. I don't think about the Knicks that way. That it's actually kind of fun that the Knicks are back in it. And so far I've been— I want the Spurs to win just because I want New York to feel scared and I just want a really good series. But a huge part of me wants joy for Knicks fans and like maybe that'll make the league a little bit better. I think this has been a '90s-ass series in many respects and I've enjoyed it. So I'm in on it. It's just, you know, it's a lot like it's New York and everything, as Dan always says, gets Times Square'd. And I am living through that right now. We are talking about this Finals more than any other Finals, and that includes the ones that the— our team has played in.

Your guys' deference to the Knicks and that fandom is pathetic. It's bothered me as an actual Miami person. Yesterday, Michelle Beadle came on this show.

What'd she say?

And referred to this show as a show of Knicks fans, and nobody refuted her.

Oh, I thought about it. I have no, no So what leg do I have to stand on?

That was my 13th reason.

What do you mean your 13th reason?

It's a colloquial term that young people know, Dan.

It's okay.

Zaslo. Oh, thank you. I appreciate the help there. Zaslo. Jeremy says that he's got some critiques from yesterday's show. He's got some observations from yesterday's show. Mike's got his critiques here. That is a bold-faced lie that we've talked more about these Finals than we did when the Heat were here. Like, that you can't say that with a straight face. Like, you know, You devalued everything else you've said by saying with a straight face that we've talked more about Knicks basketball than we did about—

More than the Nuggets. Give me more than the Nuggets. No, more than the Nuggets. More than the Nuggets.

Definitely not the Big Three era. All right. But I'm not going to apologize for talking a lot about the biggest story in sports. I know you want me to.

Look at you.

I mean, look at you.

I'm not going to.

You lost. That's right. And I know for a fact the Nuggets, because the Panthers were in the same You know, I look up to you, Dan.

You're a shell of yourself. What you're doing, this is some Jeremy-ass behavior.

I don't want your respect. I don't. I actively curry not having your respect.

By acting like me and dressing like a fool?

I am not dressed like a fool. I am dressed like a winner. I am dressed like a, like a soon-to-be champion. I am dressed like somebody who at his heart bleeds blue and what's the color?

Orange.

Orange, yeah.

Blue and orange, is there other colors?

Color and you offend me.

You don't have an in-season tournament champion shirt.

Uh, look, O.J. Anunoby will forever be in my heart because of how he won that tournament. How many buildings, buildings do you think they're going to turn blue and orange tonight to try to turn the tide? You guys see those like shots of New York City? It's like, ooh, all your buildings are blue and orange. Cool.

Losers. You mean the lighting?

Yeah.

Yeah. Waste of electricity.

The latest video I saw of Knicks fans behaving poorly Italy over the last couple days. The Knicks fans, like, it's like a group of them, they're trying to light a Spurs jersey on fire, but the Spurs fan is still wearing the jersey.

Wait, what?

So like they're trying to set this, this fan on fire.

Seems illegal. Seems illegal, but it's all right. We just have to survive just 24 more hours.

I hate these people.

24 more hours and the flames stop climbing.

Nope, it's Game 4.

We temper them down.

Nope, it needs to go 7.

And the eyes of the world No. Go to Mexico.

Yeah.

For Mexico, South Africa. And then at 10 PM, Sicko's Delight. Oh, we get 10 PM soccer. There was even a midnight start here. An expanded group stage means more soccer, and that is a good thing for the world and for those that want an escape from a hellscape of Knicks talk. You're making me Me choose between Mexico or New York?

Oh God. Speaking of soccer, Tony is, uh, at the activation there, uh, across the street. He's, uh, done a good job of ruining today's show and not being around for any of his basketball expertise that we could have used while Zazz was getting passionate. Instead, we send him to an area of weakness, which is soccer, as he pretends to be a soccer expert when I'm not sure how much he cares about any of this, and he just wanted to wander across the street to be in a lovely Miami, stealing money from the company, wandering around the exhibits out there. What have you seen, Tony, that, uh, has, uh, has moved you out there? Uh, you've got a private VIP experience. How crowded and crazy is that going to be this weekend as the world's largest sporting event comes to South Florida and the United States? Those are two different things, by the way.

South Florida and the United States. Canada and Mexico, barely.

We have our own country here in South Florida. Everybody else can do whatever they want. But again, what touched me the most is the fan zones, incredible stuff that they've, uh, they've brought up and put there together for fans. This is the only place really in FIFA in the world that you can have FIFA stuff, but then right over here we have the ocean, literally 35 feet away from where we're standing. Look at that, Dan. Look at that.

Look at that.

Come on.

Dan, you can't get that anywhere else, Dan. Look at that.

Well, there are, there are other oceans.

Some material over there. There are other oceans.

Not here, buddy.

This is the only ocean here. So I will say Friday they have a kickoff party. Carlos Vives is going to be here doing a, uh, private concert for the kickoff. And then Saturday this all opens up and, uh, fans will be able to come out and hang out and do a bunch of stuff here. A lot of cool exhibits obviously the rock climbing, there's, there's soccer, there's a whole bunch of different things that, uh, that people can do. So concert tomorrow and then the kickoff and open of everything on Saturday, Dan. So I'll probably be back for tomorrow, maybe.

Yeah, I don't believe you, and I feel like you were running out of material when you threw it toward the barge. It was a big trash barge and you— that was where you ran out of gas. Thank you, Tony.

How sick of that theme are you? That theme blasting in the background. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be in here.

Move of like, I'm Show you the ocean and there's a trash barge and then you petered out. All right, come back over here and hurry up and, uh, and do your job better than that.

I should have showed you— hold on, I should have showed you the million-dollar yacht, couple million dollar yacht.

That would have been better than a trash barge.

Yes, yes. Yeah, the barge caught my eye though, you know, it's like a squirrel situation. It was moving and then it was all of a sudden, oh, there's a barge, but I thought it was a boat.

I got it. All right, don't want to talk to you anymore.

There's There's a photo op.

Yeah, yeah, got it.

Barge Simpson.

You got it, got it. Barge Simpson.

It had to be said.

The last outlaw. Had to be said.

That's what I said.

Bowling tonight, don't forget.

Rack 'em! That's a new one. That's a new one. That's not on your list. Rack 'em is not on your list anymore. And he said that's Jim Rome's, but he wants it.

Rome says rack 'em.

He really doesn't know.

House ball for spares.

Greg, you stole another catchphrase.

Rack 'em. Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

Hey, rack 'em.

That kind of thing.

Have some integrity.

Trailers for— enough about me. Come on.

It's just a rat-a-tat-tat. It reminds me of Rambo falling to a knee in the last of the most violent Rambos and just machine gun shooting down 150 people in the most violent movie ever made. Greg Cody is now just firing catchphrases in every direction because Maximum— Me Maximum is me talking to my inner monolog all show, and my inner monolog making me giggle because it's tickling me all show. The Last Outlaw at his heart is glad that Dave Hyde was canned. There, I said it.

Speaking of cans, Miller Lite. That's coming tonight. We're gonna get safe drunk. That's right, drunk, but not really. Not unlike the Greg Cody spectrum of drunk. Safe drunk. A good 9-beer buzz just to take the edge off, make it a little looser. Tell me I'm wrong.

That is insanely accurate.

I start laughing a little bit more.

9 is so many beer.

No, I can't believe how right he's got this though. You say Zazz, like he—

That's the safe kind. Drink responsibly. I always do.

Zazzlo is right to be horrified and say 9 doesn't seem like safe buzz territory, but—

That's a midweek number. It's a nice midweek.

It's a weekday.

That's a school night number. Yes, that is a Tuesday night number. Yes. Yep.

Yeah.

Weekends, you'll never see me without a beer in my hand.

Straight up. Chris, let's actually do this in front of your father as if he's not here. What is the number where Greg Cody careens into the bushes? Because a 9 count, a 9 count is about where he gets to feeling good. 12. That's right.

12.

Well, I want to know like—

9 is safe.

10, oh.

11, eh, risky. 12, bushes.

What part of the day is the first one cracked open?

6 PM. Is it a weekend?

No, it's weekday. No, wait a minute, these are different times and things.

Don't be ridiculous. Wait, what do I have to do?

If he's got to work, it's going to come after the column, whenever the column's done, and it's gonna— it's gonna— the flames are gonna rise.

At what time? What time do I finish the column? It's that time. That time is Miller time. As soon as I finish the column I'll say a little something, head over to the garage, crack open a nice cold Miller Lite, and I'll stay there for a good 90 minutes, listen to my own voice, watch back some videos, see some feedback of people loving me. Then I'll, uh, maybe, uh, I'll send a voice note to Yeti or something, and then more, you know, about myself, we're talking about myself. Yourself, that kind of thing.

Rack 'em!

That's what I'm talking about. Rack 'em!

That was amazingly accurate, everything he said. I don't know how he knows all of that. Is it because I've told you? Like, everything that he just said there is 100% accurate. Would you refute any of it? What would you quibble on?

I don't condone excessive drinking.

I didn't say it was excessive. I said you can handle 9 beers.

Yeah, sure. Easy, easy. Doesn't mean I always do.

No, no, no.

9 beers is automatic vomit for me. 9 beers.

Lightweight dude. Nothing, nothing. No, you built up a tolerance over time.

I almost called you something, but I promise I wouldn't say that word anymore. You know what I'm talking about.

All right. Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

Is derivative. We shouldn't say that word.

It starts with a B. Gotta wanna earn. Gotta wanna learn.

Dave Hyde's dead and I'm thriving.

He's not dead.

He's dead. He's deader than disco.

I thought you were gonna say deader than those horses Clark Spencer keeps.

Than the horses Lord Spencer murders after they lose races. That's what I'm talking about, the Last Outlaw!