Transcript of Alley Oop 152: NBA Trade Chaos Incoming Kuminga, MPJ, Morant & Zion Rumors + LeBron Retirement Talk

When he said, Maybe you'll love me when I fade the black. Come on. I swear to God, Juju, it's happening again. My eyes started to water up.

Oh, your eyes started, so it hit your heart.

It hit your heart. Yeah, it hit my heart.

Oh, damn. Okay. So you're getting emotional about the King, my baby, Mufasa.

I'm not ready for LeBron to retire. No. Damn.

It's breaking news. The besmircher has a heart, and it starts with Mufasa himself. Say more, bro. I'm sorry for interrupting. Go ahead, bro.

Listen, you see what... We can talk about how corny he is, and I love that Kevin Hart's telling him on the DraftKings segment, Hey, we don't believe you. We think you lie all the time. But what he continues He used to do at 6 feet 8, 6 feet 9, 40 years old, with the force and the skill level that we see him play with. And then imagine he's just gone. He just doesn't play anymore The league doesn't have him. And he knows that he's underappreciated and underloved. And maybe it's almost a plea. He heard that song and was like, I I need to tell David McManiman, maybe you all will love me when I fade the black. And the fading the black is right around the Kona.

But see, the thing about that is that we both got to understand about LeBron and Jay-Z. Jay-z put that song out, what, six albums ago?

I was in high school.

That boy said, This is it. This is the Black album. It's over with. I love you. And boy, we done We don't have him and De Carter. We done had him and Kanye. We done got so many tracks. So I think this is one of those situations where, understandably, I do not think LeBron will ever try to play or cheat the game. I'm not one of them detractors in the streets that just be like, LeBron Lane, LeBron B. I respect the greatness. You feel me? Lebron been doing this thing for so long and with that impeccable resume. I don't even think I remember my boy getting a DUI. I don't think I remember my boy ever punching a guy, let alone a domestic violence dispute. Never. Not one on his record. So as a Black man in these streets, we just got to salute LeBron more than anything else. That basketball, that's a whole nother thing. That's the game they playing. He getting paid for that. Imagine you getting judged for your job, your performance on your job. Who gives a damn how I'm at work? I'm a stand-up guy out of work. And so that's what I think we She'll be in the bruh, I'm a little bit more of, bro.

My brother's a stand-up guy. Of course, I'm still playing. Look at me.

Not even a J-Walk. I'm so into my craft. Listen, no matter how much we love what we do. No matter what we do in our careers, though, before we go to the funny.

There are days where we want to cheat the motherfucking game. Come on, man. Are you kidding me?

I'm tired. I got a migraine. I got cramps. I'm on my cycle. Exactly. My puppy just threw up. But no, LeBron, the only thing LeBron's ever tried to cheat the game with is his hairline.

There we go. Preach. Check out my boy on the bench, man. You could tell my boy, Checked out, man. This is the shit that makes me You're going to fucking lose it with LeBron. He got JJ Reddick trying to talk to the team, right? Where is LeBron? Anybody see LeBron? He's over there, hounding like a little bitch. Now, I see And look, we can play that one time, but we can mute, bro. Bro, hang like hell. You at your house, recording your TV, hanging on a multi damn near billionaire. So first of all, you can sit yourself down. But yeah, bro, I relate to LeBron. How you feel about that video, bro?

You know, maybe it's just the emotions in me, the heart that's been touched by LeBron. Yeah. But the besmircher, I don't even think would go that far. To be honest.

I think it's mostly like, what does LeBron need to learn from JJ Reddick's ass, truthfully? Come on, man. They were parting about two months ago. They always shoot, now you're the coach. Salute. I'm not hanging. Get your money to JJ Reddick. But yeah, bro.

It would be like, Juju, it would be like all of a sudden me and you doing this part, and it's like, Now I'm your coach. The fuck?

What?

No, you're my A podcast co-host, fam. You're not...

What are you trying to draw up right now? You could be my Gino Aria, my bruh. You look like Pat Summerall, for real. If you cut your hair and went with the bob-Pat Summerall or Pat Summit? Look, see that? I was wrong. I said Pat Summerall. I got you a football coach D-line.

I have a question for you about an I texted you about this yesterday.

Shoot.

Tony Allen, a legendary besmircher, came out and issued an apology to Cooper Flag. Let's play the clip. I have something really important I want to ask you about this on.

Okay. Give me two seconds. I know which one this is. It's happening.

Let her shoot.

Mama's Got It. We're right here. We're right here. Okay, here we go. Mama's right there.

Mama's right there. Here we go. I feel like mama ain't right there. Mom is never right there. Who? Jay said he owes an apology to somebody. Who doesn't? It was like Vane Reims. Oh, man.

The boy Cooper Flag. Run the clips, Peter. Oh, man. Listen, bro. Who do you compare Cooper Flag to? What was your comparison? So I thought he would be more like an Andre Carolinco, Brentbury, guy, right? Brentbury. I was absolutely wrong, man. I truly want to take that take back, but it's unfortunately, I can't, man. And, man, he's been showing me so many signs of a superstar. It was one game, he had 40 not too long ago, and he playing both sides of the floors was surprising to me. And like that, like I got to say, them breakaway dunks, all that is just electrifying. His ceiling is way higher than I thought. I can't front. It was way higher than I thought.

I like it, man. Okay, so this is the question I have for you, Juju.

Okay.

Why did every 40-year-old man inside the culture prejudge Cooper Flag like he was the second coming of Christian Lagner?

Bro, you know what I think it is? First of all, before I say anything, I want to say, Salute to Tony for being accountable. You did because a lot of folks, I don't think that get enough play as it should. As podcasters and sports analysts or sports talking heads, we don't admit when we're wrong enough, bro. You ain't got to come in here and concoct 12 reasons why you still right, bro. Say, you hear me, bro? Oops, damn, I messed up right there. So salute for Tony for that right there. But I do think that's one of them factors of... You know how folks be talking about stuff that they don't necessarily watch. You feel me? I think a lot of them for the talking heads when watching a lot of Duke basketball at this time of last year, they might have tuned in to the tournament. They saw him go down in a tourney against, what, Auburn? But they didn't watch how he was playing all year. So I think that that's just a result of that. It is. I don't think he... Because if you saw Cooper flat, boy, what the hell? You would never say no damn, Andre Karolenko, Saluda, AK-47.

But this ain't that, and that ain't this.

I think it's one of those scenarios where... It's one of the only scenarios of reverse racism that you can find.

Would I?

Of prejudice because it's really just the Cooper flags white. That's really it. It's like, and he looks as white as they come. And he played for Duke. It's thin-slicing at its finest. He had the pitchfork on Slam magazine. What did they say? They said something crazy that was very racist. It was like, he's coming. It was really wild. I forget what the Slam cover said, but I remember being like, this is a bad look for Cooper Flag.

It's a little bit of Slam.

So he goes to the whitest school with the whitest, sniveling, villain reputation. He's long and lanky, like Christian Laitner. Christian Laitner goes to Duke. He's on the dream team, flames out. And so then it's like, because Kaman Mase said this to me. I remember being like, they use the exact same analogy. Oh, he just reminds He's going to be a Christian Laitner. I think he's going to be an Andre Carelenco. And I'm like, I think it's your age, first of all. You're scarred from how bad Christian Laitner was. And I think it's just Cooper flagging his white ass haircut, like the bull cut. And he's a killer. I don't know what it is, but I needed your thoughts on it. You think that's a fair analysis of what happened?

Yeah. And the New Balances didn't help. I don't know. No, it didn't. This is further down the line. But New Balances, the Rass cutting, knew about it, did not help. But I think it's that what you said as well as, shoot, bro, Duke guys, come on at 7: 00 PM Eastern Time. That 4: 00 PM on the West Coast. That 4: 00 PM in Vegas, what came in them be? Man, ain't finna be watching no damn Duke play North Carolina State, man. They just saw that boy in a tournament, and his tournament was a little bit subpar, so they judged him off that. But Soluta Coup, man. Soluta Coup.

Going to go down as one of probably the best two-way players in the last 15 years.

You got to know. Moving on, though, man. Donovan Mitchell, he had a controversial move in the NBA last night. They went up against I forgot not who the hell. But, Ms. Rebecca, do you got the Donovan Mitchell clip? All right. Donovan Mitchell, a controversial move last night. And I know the besmircher, Ms. Pro-step herself. I had to understand what she comprehensive from this move from the Spider-Man.

I need to see this many times.

Jump off the floor, then bounce the ball, still dribble, Quentin Grimes, what universe is this? And then you did his ass. That's the problem. No, hell, no. Don't not call it, and then I get dead. No.

Did he touch the ball? Hold on. Okay.

Did Quentin Did he sometimes touch it? No. No, he did not touch it, bro. Travel, man. I'm going to just say, walk. Ain't no way in here you could jump.

That's a walk. That's absolutely a walk. And then he jump, stopped, floated, order, cooked you. Why would you think you could do that?

You know what he tried to do?

He tried to dribble as he was up, which is technically you can jump while you're dribbling. But it's bad. This needs to be called. This needs to be called to travel.

Exactly. Whatever the name of that referee is right there in the corner, brother, you are on watch. We are watching you. We are watching these. Look, salute the DraftKings. We love you. That's I'm going to say. We got our eyes on you. This is the travel. Moving on. Breaking news out of the NBA. Jonathan Kamenga has demanded not, Please trade me, sir. Please, sir. No, no, no, no, no. Get me the hell up out of here right damn now to the Warriors. What you think about that, bro? Is it justified?

I don't think Jonathan Kaminga has played a game in 30 days.

Come on, man.

I'm ready to say there are certain coaches that are built for certain things. You know how Trick Daddy is like, Oh, Trick Love of Kids?

Yeah.

It's like the exact opposite for Steve Kerr. Steve Kerr doesn't want anything to do with pacifiers or bottles or ball handling drills or teaching you how to be a pro. You need to be a pro as soon as you walk in these doors. Now, the problem is that he has an owner trying to do the whole two timeline thing. You can't have two timelines if there's one timeline that doesn't have a pacifier. They all need diapers. The second timeline needs to be in diapers and pacifiers and basically beyond their AAU coaches teet, essentially.

Also, coming out of the Warriors camp, they say they are not interested in MPJ. And this is from my boy, Sham Sharania. They say they are not interested. Who even puts out that statement? Why would you take the chance? I wouldn't even do that. If I'm not interested, I'm going to just let you wonder, Oh, taste to see. You did. But what you think about that? Are they tripping? Should they be having my boy MPJ on their radar?

Have you ever done that to a girl before? Listen, I don't even know where your level of interest in me is. I'm not interested in you, though.

Exactly. Hell, no, bro. I'm just sitting here randomly. I know you didn't text me, but I'm not thinking about you.

Let me just text somebody and be like, Listen, I just want to let you know I'm not interested. If I see you in San Francisco, we're not laying up together. I'm sorry. It's like, Nobody... Listen, maybe MPJ don't want you.

Exactly. Because I saw my boy laying up this week. I saw some photos of my boy linked up in a new relationship. I'm pretty sure he would love to stay in the BX, the South Bronx. You did. Across the bridge is over. The bridge is over. Put it by by.

The Golden State needs to do something fast. It's a wrap for them.

Yeah, man. The problem with them, I think, is going to be the injuries, because once you get a little older and older, That ankle injury take a little two extra weeks. That Wolverine quality you used to have in your back. I'm going to need three more sciatical excuses. You did. So, yeah, get well soon, warriors. Lastly, before we go, the boy stopped. Zion Williamson, man, he been in the streets. Now, he been getting a lot of headlines for the wrong damn reason.

You could have just stopped before lines.

My boy been in the streets, man. He need a beat out, bro. We got to get my boy a beat out to be like, Bro, this is the road. Don't go over here. Don't go over here. This is cool. Because my boy keep getting played by OnlyFans after OnlyFans. I don't even see nothing in his roster that's even like... Matter of fact, I'm not going to go there. I'm not going to go there. I'm just saying, as crazy as an off-the-court season as my boy has had, My boy still got it, man. I say all that to say my boy still got it, man. Will you, right now, sitting on the Portland or whatever team you got, if you were the GM, are you going halfway in, if not all in, on the Zion-Williamson trade right now?

It depends what city my team is in.

There we go. Talk about it.

So let's When we talk about the cities we don't want him to go to.

Let's go.

Miami. There's a lot of temptation in Miami. Temptation in Miami. On all levels, in all fronts.

Right.

You can't go to Miami. Houston. We already know what time it is in Houston.

You can't go to- J Prince. Hell, yeah. Houston, Atlanta, Vegas.

Atlanta, you're not going to Atlanta. Listen, Magic City is not just for the wings. Okay? We're not... And the girls will eat you alive. They will see you coming, and they will get your Venmo so fast that it's drained. You will be drained in both ways, off the court and on the court. And they will drag you through the streets and talk about your name.

Professions.

La, they're different in LA. They have pretty faces, a lot of ambition, girls from all around the world, Russia, Slovakia, and like, Middle America. They're coming for you, Zion.

So no. Como estas?

Listen, como estas Oh, Bonita. Oh, that's a muy guapo.

No Sotras..

Okay, so you can't go there either. We need to get... And I think maybe even Utah is a no-go because those women-Oh, I see what you're saying.

You tip the scale.

They'll come at you with the good news, and it'll be all bad. You know what I mean? They'll hit you with the LDS book. And it's a wrap for you. So you need a place with a bunch of uglies.

Yeah. But I don't think you can say that, because now I can't ask the follow-up question.

We got to stop him from bumping uglies. That's what we got to do.

There we go. Now, totally not related to that, what cities do you see him being safe in? This is not saying these cities got uglies, for the record, not allegedly.

Listen, ultimately, ultimately- But ultimately. As somebody that's from here, there's not a lot going on in Portland. I like it. As fine as I would like to consider myself, I think. Hello. I got finer when I left this city.

Hello.

I saw the world, okay? I found a contour brush, all right? I found a way to get my hair blown out. I found my swag outside of Portland. Listen.

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.

The granola chips, even if you get caught up with the Grinola Chicks, they're not hitting you for more than an Alberta Food Co-op card. Okay? We got very low standards in terms of what tricking looks like.

You didn't hit us with that Portland lingo, bro. Right there, that was like an LA guy hitting us with, Roast Cranes, I'm confident. He just game-banged. You just game-banged us with Portland.

Listen, it's $5 every six months for the Alberta Co-op card, but you get 20% off on February. It's between the first and the seventh. So that's what they will do for you. They'll hit you with the juice card. So I think Portland. I think San Antonio. I think there's very little. Maybe Denver. Denver is a good spot. I mean, these are not basketball situations that I'm talking about. I'm just talking about to keep Zion off the streets, where should he go?

Yes. And that's why I was surprised. I mean, still at the time of this taping right now, everybody is still playing for their team There has been no Ja Morant move. There has been no trades, no blockbuster moves. In case by the time this come out, it happens. But that's why I'm surprised that people are even putting the respect on Ja, I want to go to Miami. Excuse me. How about no? How about no thing? We good. My boy messing up in Memphis out there. My boy got Memphis going crazy. I'm sorry. I don't know. Now, Memphis is one of them super pro-Black towns. You did. So you want to be extra, extra Black if you ain't come up from there.

That's another town Zion can't go to is Memphis.

No, extra not. But at the same time, I think Ja Morant is in that same boat as Zion because Ja Morant come from that, too. Ja Morant come from South Carolina. What is it? Down from Spartan Bird, wherever Zion from. So they got that same... Now that Now that we popping vibe, it's up. And so, yeah, I think you're right, bro. We got to send one of them boys to Portland. We got to send them boys to Milwaukee. You know what I mean? Toronto. No, no, no, no, no, Toronto. I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself. But yeah, somewhere like that, because that's where you're going to get the most. I don't think heat culture can overcome the booby trap culture in Miami.

One time, Juju, I thought it was when the Super Bowl was down in Miami.

Yeah.

I thought I was going to one place, and it sounded like the booby trap, but it was really the booby trap. I think I told you this story before. I put it into my Uber, and the Uber driver was like, You sure you want to go to the Booby Trap? I said, Isn't it just a bar? They're They're like, I'm not going to stop you from going wherever you're supposed to go. You got people you're meeting there? And I said, Yeah, I'll meet my friend there. We got to get out of here?

Dylan threw that one in because we're on this a long time. We're already 28 minutes in, so I'm just letting you know.

I'm just going to tell you, a boobie trap, Ms. Rebecca. I was the only white woman in there. It's But you don't want to go to the booby trap. Like, Joc can't go to the booby trap.

Exactly. And heat culture can't overcome opalakagoon culture. No, he can't. But moving on, man. And we will be right back after these This is Messages. You. Take a shot. And welcome back to the Alley Oop. We are about to head into a segment that we like to call Boy Stop.

To set this up, it's two men. They're about to square off. One of them has to strip down. The other one is in skinny jeans and church shoes.

That's all I need to hear right there. Skinny jeans and church shoes. Danger. Danger, brother. In a vest, and he ain't even... Uh-uh. No, Exactly. See, that one lick, you flying. Oh, my God. Two licks, you through. And you're lucky my boy was a good man.

Did he try to pick him back up?

Bro, you're lucky this man ain't have a hate in his heart, Bro, he like, He ain't even do this to you, bro. Do you not see the church shoes I have on in this club, bro? You're extra playing, bro. What would you do if a girl in some church shoes and a vest walked up on you? I'll go the other way.

I mean, listen, there's people that just let you know that they're a problem based on the sheer ridiculousness of what they've pulled up in. The amount of confidence And the ability to back it up is what is required for those tight-ass pants with the church shoes. He came in there rocking Krav Maga.

Yes. He didn't even use his fist. He's got an earbud in, for God's sake. I'm He's not even sure he's paying attention. I mean, look closely. He's got an earbud in.

The earbud didn't move. Yeah.

He's listening to a track. He hasn't even stopped his workout.

It was legitimately light work for him. The dude took his shirt off for no reason just to get clapped up.

I'm talking about the bra.

Wow. Baraka trip into the front kick down to the ground, and then he tried to pick bra up like, You good?

Exactly. Bro, the first move is a Baraka trip. That's where you know, danger, danger, because most intermediate fighters run up on you with a fist. My boy said, Oh, you leaving that time wide open for me.

He got to touch Earth.

Exactly..

Yes. Why you? Boys, stop.

Boys, stop. Exactly. Taking your shirt off in the club to square up with a brother in some tight jeans and some church shoes. Boys, stop, man. Come on, man. Wake up.

I love this show.

That's a wrap. Thank you, as always, for pulling up on us, man, at the Alley. Thank you, as always, to Mr. Distinguished Dylan, my boy, my brother, man, and Mrs. Rebecca Donahue, as always. In The last words on the way out, sis?

Listen, if the hurricanes beat Indiana, I want to see Mario Cristobal at the Booby Trap.

There it is. I'm pretty sure you ain't got to hope for that. My boy got a table already paid for.

He's got a monthly membership. His shirt is the Booby Trap.

Catch us on Tuesday. Same bad time, same bad channel.

Same bad channel. Salute. Lock in.

Booby Trap.