Alright. You ready? You have to say hi.
Hi, brother. Yes.
Do not say no.
No. I'll I'll go like this. Expressions.
Guys. Girls. Right. Before we get started, I think I I'm I'm talking to everyone in the room. I need this episode today.
You need this episode today?
Yeah. I'm in a foul mood. Oh. What? I have no fucking clue.
Just a mindset thing you woke up this way?
Yeah. Interesting. This way.
How was your sleep? Bad.
When I was livid Okay. I I've been watching this anime called summertime rendering
Yeah.
On Disney plus. Yeah. It's pretty decent. Okay. But it's been knocking me out.
Okay. So every night, I've been putting on trying to get through at least 1 episode. Mhmm. And it doesn't seem to matter what time I put this bitch on. I'm going to sleep.
And I love it. Okay. So I put an episode on.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That is dozing now.
Yeah.
And I'm like, gang. Mhmm. And then I just reached for the remote to just turn it off. And as soon as I'd done that, turn it off Gone. Awake.
Oh. Awake. And I was like, mm-mm.
Not good. So I tossed and turned
for about 20 minutes, half an hour. I was like, I'm just gonna put it back on. I'm hoping the same thing will happen again. Happened again, and I had dreams last night. Okay.
Random. I keep I keep having dreams about, performing
Mhmm.
Us doing, like, live shows
Mhmm.
And something going wrong. For example? So the other night, I had a dream. It's 2 nights in a row. Yeah.
The other night, I had a dream that we were doing a live show in an arena
Yeah.
And you were nowhere to be found.
Oh.
You just weren't there. And and management were forcing me to do it, mom and dad.
And I was like, I'm not doing it without him.
Yeah. Management. That's sweet.
And they were like, yeah. You are, bro. Everyone's here.
Yeah.
And the team was packed. Packed, bro. And for some re some reason, all my family and friends were there. Okay. All of my family and friends were there.
And I was like, I don't know how we're gonna do this. And I was in the grooming room,
and they kept bringing Trying to usher you in.
You know, they they were, I was in the grooming room, and they were giving me alcohol. Oh. And I kept drinking, drinking. I was getting twists up. And I was thinking, now Phil's here.
And I'm no. He's not here, and I'm drunk. This is gonna be the worst day of my life. I don't know what I'm gonna do. And also, when
they realize he's not here, they're not just gonna let me carry on.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So they're
gone, like, what the fuck is gonna happen?
Yeah.
Bro, that was horrible.
Do you ever get to this part of the dream where you're on stage performing? Or do
you ever have it before them?
So on the arena 1, I never got to the part where I actually had to get there. Last night,
we were rock huge before you
Last night, for some reason, you thought it would be funny to do some tag team thing, pause.
In your dream.
Yeah. So we would do Verzuz and then you would do yours and I wouldn't even be on stage. And I would do mine. And there was a bit, for some reason, people okay. Ah, that's what happened.
The in our show, there was a show and all for some this is so fucking random. I had it in my head in our tour list.
Mhmm.
Every I don't know what country we were fucking in. Mhmm. But on my tour list, every show started at 8. And then we had 1 show that was starting at 7. And everyone turned up at 8.
And then we were in the show and no 1 was there. And you were like, I'll do your verses. And I was like, I think we should wait until, like, people get here because clearly there's been something else. And you were like, no. Do it.
You're like, we don't have time.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. We're performing right now.
Yeah.
And I was like, bro, there's no
1 here. Yeah. And there was 1
girl on stage and, I brought her on stage and I was like, oh, we're gonna do some singing and shit like that. It's gonna be some some fun. And she was like, yeah, I'm down. And what song did I I put on an R and B song, like a bait 1. Mhmm.
I can't remember what 1 it was. And I gave it a mic and I was like, alright, let's go. And there was literally, like, 3 people in in in the seats and you were behind a curtain like that. And I was looking at you like, this is hell. And then I was like, 321.
And the music started. She was like, I don't know this 1. And I was like, sure you do.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. La la la la la la la la. And she's like, no. Sorry. And then she was like, no.
And then instead of giving me the mic, she was like, like, oh
my god. And
it started rolling towards her feet. And I was like, I wanna die. And then 8 o'clock hit, and everyone started, like, walking through. And you were like, gang. And you came up.
And it was like, my turn. 369.
And it was like, oh shit.
It's a bias.
It is a bias. What the fuck? And you were gas, and I was like, I've been sabotaged. Yeah. I really feel sabotaged.
Oh, damn.
So recently, my shoes have been random and invasive.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I woke up grumpy.
Maybe it's it's from just just that, to be fair.
Maybe. I also had an egg slap this morning, and it spilled on my hoodie. You noticed I'm wearing half a set. Yeah. It spilled all over my hoodie.
I screamed. Oh. I screamed.
Sorry, dude.
So, yeah, it's not been going well.
Well, we're here now. It's gonna be a good day.
It's gonna
be a good recording. We're training today. Ellis is joining us in the gym as well. So, yeah, man. Yeah.
I'm scared.
Yeah. I was gonna say, are you sure you want to? What? It's really gonna it's gonna be a struggle. I'm not even trying to, like, gloat or anything.
It's gonna be rough. I don't want you getting rhabdo or some shit.
Getting what?
Rhabdo.
What's that?
Oh, boy.
Is it a disease or something?
It's kidney failure but it's caused by Jesus. I was not expecting to
say that.
I think it's rhabdomyolysis is the full term for it. Yeah. It's basically where I'm not a doctor but it's something along the lines of where you train really, really hard
and,
what ends up happening is your muscle tissue starts to break down and it goes into your bloodstream and then your kidneys can't process it and it causes your kidneys to break down and it's rough. And it happens a lot with people who have never done much ex you do exercise all the time. I know you do. But
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It usually happens to people who have never done exercise before and you, like, you go in and smash them, force. And they get such crazy, crazy muscle pain.
Yeah.
And the the key symptom is it for for it to know that you've done it is if you piss, your piss comes out like Coke. They say your piss looks like Coke. Damn. And then if that happens, go to the
hospital. Yeah.
When I was a PT, there was a guy called David Watson. His first ever session wasn't with me, but his first ever session with another 1 of the PTs. Yeah. He he did a crazy session and then he he missed his session about 3 days later. Yeah.
So VC Gordon was like, David, is everything alright? Just wanna
make sure you're okay. He's like, I can't walk.
And they were like, oh, some muscle stiffness is
is common. He was like, I can't walk. It hurts so much. And they
were like, oh, sorry.
Like, we probably went a bit too hard in the
1st session to try to
do some stretching. He's like, I can't fuck you up. Like, he said, I'm like, and my piss looks like Coke. Aw.
And the b z said, what? Yeah.
He's like, go to hospital now. And he's like, woah. Woah.
He's like, get to the fucking hospital. So, yeah, he went to the hospital, bro. Sorted him out.
That shit
will kill you. Christ,
man. Rabdo's no joke.
That's crazy.
A lot
of CrossFit people get it because they train so, so, so hard. Intense. Rabdo's no joke. So I'm just saying
Well, to be, I could, I can go off and do other bits anyway. If the, if, if the leg, if the leg day, if the leg workouts are getting too crazy,
I'll just
go and do something else.
Also fair.
I mean.
Jump on the treadmill, stair master, fucking whatever.
It's fair, but I know you. You're a headstrong you.
Yeah.
I don't see us being 3 sets of leg press in and you being like, too fair gents, it's a bit too hard. I'm just gonna jump on the treadmill for a bit. I think you're gonna be like, now fuck this.
I guess we'll see.
I guess we will see.
Alright. Cool. We'll see.
But anyway, you had a PSA?
I do have a PSA. Guys, girls, we are, like we said, we are coming to Australia, and we are coming to New Zealand all throughout February. Now, as you know, we're gonna be there for 5 weeks, and each week, we are going to need a fucking haircut. Team, patrons, cult babies, everyone on the other side of the world, I need recommendations.
Facts,
man. Specifically for the Afro Caribbean hairs that we have. Yeah? I don't need none of them other ones. Just just Them other ones.
Just them other ones. You know me? If you've never trimmed a black hute before, I don't want your recommendation. Fact. I don't.
And this is, you know, respectfully, I need trims whilst we're out there. So please please please please please send your recommendations and, yeah, hopefully, we can get shit popping, and we can get fucking good trims while we're there.
Get good trims because I'm not dealing with the wall. Yeah.
You can't
you can't do America times 2. Some of the trims you got out there were heinous, and I've literally never looked the same. And it was it was very, very, very, very, very, desired.
What that boy did to me?
Pause. Yeah. It was it wasn't
It wasn't It was unruly. It wasn't sanctioned. It was unruly. Yeah. And I know when we left, his boys would poke and find it in.
They must have been because that was out of order.
It was.
I was out of order
what he did, Thomas. Took ages. He took ages for that monstrosity.
My skin was red raw. Yeah. From what he did with that scalpel, my skin was red raw after that. I fuck I I that was the worst day of my life.
Oh, yeah.
And I fucking hated it, and I knew that stubble was gonna kick in like a motherfucker. Didn't it, Josh? What he did to you was unfair. It
Yeah. Yeah.
That was bullion. It was. But 2 trims were just heinous.
Yeah. That top right corner was
Yeah.
Yeah. So please Yeah.
Please, guys. You've seen what a head top looks like when we've got fresh trims. Please, please, please send some recommendations. I know there's Donny's out there that look like us, that have hair like us, that have gotten trims properly there. You feel me?
So It
has to be packed.
Yeah. We need we need we need the recommendations.
Cool. Gang. Okay. That was a good PSA. Mhmm.
Because I'm I'm actually down for that as well. Our barber offered his services in Australia.
He did, but I was thinking, like, how is that actually gonna happen? See what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
How is that actually gonna happen?
He's gonna have to lower his prices
if that happens.
Well, because his day to day price is already too much. Yeah.
What it won't make a difference. He he can he can charge us for free. It won't make a difference. The flight then went back in the telly alone. Madness.
It's Teliz.
Teliz. Exactly. So It
it would be insane.
Yeah. Same. I mean, it doesn't matter. He could charge us 0 p.
Fuck, man. But, yeah, I I want some healthy trims in.
Insane. Same.
I wanna feel good.
Same.
But I also I need consistency because I'm not I'm not going from Perth, buff trim, to Sydney, dead trim, to Melbourne, fucking buff trim
Yeah.
To fucking Brisbane, dead trim. Then Adelaide
or whatever. So I think I think what we need to do is get a trim the day before we fly. Yeah. Fast. Then when we land in Perth, probably, like, a couple days before the show, get a touch up.
Yeah.
And then in Adelaide, get Adelaide, touch up. Sydney, touch up. So it's never ever too full.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So they just follow the fucking lines.
They're not starting from a black canvas.
Follow the lines, clean up the sides, and line up the beard. That's it.
Yeah. I'm not asking for a miracle.
Yeah. Just do what you're told. It might be a miracle,
but, yeah,
I feel like that's the best cause of action.
Because real talk,
let's just get on with it. There's not that many black people there.
There are.
There just isn't.
Can we can we search the population of black people in Australia?
I'm pretty sure the total population, by the way, is like 25 mil. Of Australia?
Yeah. Google it for me, please.
The whole population. That's less than half of here. And their country is 10 times bigger.
Damn. 25 mil?
Yeah. We're like 60 of
them.
Yes. Or 70, bro. 26.6. Damn. Yeah, bro.
There's hardly anyone over there. 4 100,000.
1.6 percent of the Australian population are of African origin.
Interesting. I wonder where they I want because I'm assuming there's, like, a there'll be a specific city where most of them, like
Congregate? Congregate. You know? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm not Nothing would be that spread.
Yeah. I'm not, yeah, I'm not being the only black guy in the city every time, in every city. 500 k is enough, though.
It's not much. Yeah. That 400 k warrants
at least 70 dollars. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
At least.
Yeah. They can't yeah. 1 man can't be cut in Aldi. They use Aldi's lot. 1 man and
40 thou? 400 thou is impossible.
Yeah. So, yeah, we're we'll be fine. Also, Sam, my barber
Yeah.
He he he lived the news, isn't it, for a while?
Oh, yes. I remember you telling me.
Yeah. So Fair. Something going on.
Yeah. Fair. Fair.
Fair. Alright. Africa's barber. Master barber. Alright.
Cool. The fuck?
Oh. Hey
yo. Idris Will. Idris? Idris Will Smith.
Okay.
This Fucking everybody hates Chris.
Yeah.
Fucking Swae Lee. Swae Lee.
Okay. This year
Oh, Zena. He's hardly got a RZA. Yeah. Yeah. He's already got the stuff at the top.
Pause. Okay.
Okay.
This your boy Sego.
Your boy in Sydney?
This is Sydney?
This is Sydney. Yeah.
What's his name? Trey Song. Trey Alexander. Trey Alexander. Se less.
Trey Alexander. We can't.
Alright. Cool. Yeah. Pause.
Did you come and look at
the trims,
by the way? Or was he just Oh, yeah. Yeah. We just saw celebrities.
Oh, yeah. We
just see 1 trim.
That that was that
that was that was my leg.
That was under my work.
Middle. Yeah.
That is under my work.
Oh. 0. Yeah. But it's
he these aren't trims.
They're not trims. They're just people.
Yeah. Well, that's I don't know what I'm gonna say.
No. He's not gonna be true. You. That's He's not blaming you. That's
It's just facts. I'm still gonna go. Alright. Go. Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
Alright. I
think that there's a couple of trims there.
Couple trims.
No. No. No. No. There's a couple trips there.
Alright. Trey Alexander, Sydney, you're you're booked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You're booked. You're booked for Sydney.
Keep that week free. Yes. Because boy yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be a daily lineup.
My skin's gonna be red raw, of course.
Oh. 0. That's a Oh, that's a
That's a broke. Wow. Say less.
My brother Yeah.
That's not a hair
out place. That's clean. That's clean. That's a clear.
Yeah. He's smug with it. He knows just how good that looks.
He's smug with it. Fuck. Alright.
Alright. Try play.
Alright. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Okay. Okay. Thank God for that. Alright. That's 1 city out of a 100 sorted.
Okay. Cool. Cool. Speaking of sub Saharan, I, I need to learn some Yoruba. Okay.
Just for if I'm gonna if I'm gonna if I'm gonna do stuff, I wanna I wanna be multilingual.
Okay.
So t what what do I need to learn? What's the central?
Bawony means how are you? Bawony. Bawood. So b a w o n I.
Okay. Yeah.
Bawony. Bawony. Yeah.
Yeah. How are you?
How are you?
Okay. Cool.
And to reply, say. That means, like, I'm okay. It's just, like, informal.
Alright. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
Cool. So say it. So say say, With the what's the second thing? Moua. Moua.
W m o w a. So 2 separate words.
2 separate words. Yeah.
Moua. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad.
Not bad.
Not bad. Come
on. Come on. That's boring stuff. Give me some good stuff.
I'm try and I feel like I need I need more context. I don't often Alright.
Let's go in this situation. Okay. I'm frustrated. Yeah. So I've just said okay.
Cool. I've come in here, like, today, and I've said I'm fucking grumpy.
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
So you've said, and I've said
you won't even say Moa because you're you're not. Yeah.
I'm not. I'm the opposite. I'm I'm the opposite.
I'm the opposite Moa.
You know what? Oh,
I don't know why that's maybe not.
You probably just kiss your teeth, to be honest
with you. Fair. Yeah.
You probably kiss
your teeth. Kiss what Yeah. Because we're
we're we're we're all about the expressions.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We're all about the expressions.
Is it easier if we just go as we go?
Yeah. If we
just continue the episode Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair.
Fair. Yeah. Some
shit. It probably would be.
Alright. Cool. Because, yeah, I don't want directions. I don't want Mhmm. I want I wanna I want I want Yoruba James to actually come out the way Yoruba James would actually say.
I don't ask for directions.
Fair play.
Fair play.
I wanna act how I would act.
Fair play.
Yeah. I'm hungry. There you go.
It being bummy.
Alright. You ready? You have to
say it. Hi, brother.
I'm not saying that.
No. I'll I'll go like this. Expressions. You got this, sir.
You got you.
You hit that too slick.
You got this. You got this. No.
I'm not doing that.
You got this, bro.
I'm actually not doing that.
You might did your shit and like, so last week, I was silent. You you got this. You got this.
Bro, you hear it hard, bro. Say it again.
I'm calm, bro. I'm not I'm actually calm. I'm not even hungry anyway. I'm actually calm. I'm satiated.
It's actually fine.
So little segues. That means I'm full. Yeah. That's so funny. That's so funny.
Say less. Oh, fuck.
Oh, you make me laugh, bro.
Say less. Okay.
Oh, because you never you never say, Eurobo shit.
To be fair, I only ever tend to dabble in Eurobo when I'm around Eurobo people.
Like code switch, as
they say. Exactly. So it's like I don't necessarily like, when I'm here with you, man, like, there's no gonna there's not gonna be any jokes that are gonna be in Europe. So I'm it's never gonna bring that Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Out of me. When I'm with Jay, Toby on, like, a separate thing, that will probably come up. I was I was I was waiting
I was
waiting for that face. I was waiting for that face. Don't worry. Don't worry. I was waiting for that face.
Wow. That's fine. But it's it's never gonna come up when I'm with you, man.
We don't do any patois jokes either. So what's the whole point? Either. Yeah. What's the point in being the only fucking Caribbean if we don't even do Patty jokes?
That's that's our fault.
That's not our fault. That's not our fault. That's not our fault. That's not our fault. That's not our fault.
That's not our fault.
I'm not blaming you. Obviously, you've
got your friends that
you wanna do
inside jokes. So if we don't
do any
statement inside, to be paid.
It is.
That is. I understand.
A 100% it is. It is. Because I've
been there a 100 times, and you man are cackling.
Cackling. I mean, you're sitting there like, what?
Yeah. Shrugging shoulders, man.
You're shrugging shoulders.
Yeah. Man. It's it only only dabble in it when I mean, around Yoruba people. Fair. We're Nigerian people.
So Fair. I mean, it's it's the only time it makes sense.
Alright. I'm gonna learn it in secret, and then something will come up, and I'm gonna say something. Alright. And you have to promise you have to promise to laugh.
Promise to laugh?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I probably will too. No.
No. No.
Laugh because it will be inside joke.
I see. Not
because I'm saying
I'm hungry or something.
Oh, I see. I see. I see. I thought you meant laugh because of the way you're saying it.
No. No. That was like, I probably will.
No. I mean wow. No.
I'll make sure my dialect is calm.
Alright. Gang. Yeah.
Alright. Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool. I'm gonna be surprised by you.
Yeah, man.
Yeah. Duolingo.
Say less.
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Okay. Cool. Random. Before we continue
Mhmm.
I was thinking, the other day about, you in, what were we talking we were talking about something, and we were you were talking about, like, customer service and your management and all that kind of things
Okay.
When you was, working in restaurants.
Okay.
And, like, I wanna understand what was it so for context
Yeah.
I used to work in customer services Mhmm. For a time. It was on the phone. Mhmm. So I could just hang up on, man.
Mhmm. And I've seen what I've seen what pushing your buttons is like.
Okay.
And I've to this day, I've always known what your job obviously was. Mhmm.
But
I've never had to see you do it really.
Mhmm. And I've
never actually had to see you deal with, like, disgruntled people. And it's always baffled me that you managed to do it. Okay.
Fair. Because
I've seen you be pushed. Mhmm. And it doesn't it doesn't look good. Mhmm. You shut down.
I can't imagine you being accommodating.
So the question is, how was I during those situations? How were you during those situations? I think I think I've said this on here before. Hospitality taught me patience. A lot and lot and lot of patience because, you never know what prick you're gonna deal with because of how maybe their stake has been made or maybe their table's, out their table's running late because someone else on the table and they've not been they've not paid or whatever.
So it's like, how I deal with it is just communication. And if they are insisting on still being an asshole type of thing, I just have to just understand where you're coming from, this, that, and the other, and just literally transform it. But when I go into the back of when I when I walk away from that person, I'm chatting shit behind their back. So that's there's literally no other way you can deal with it. That's how it is in all forms of hospitality or all forms of, like, restaurant business or whatever.
There's there was nothing else or there's no other way I could have dealt with it. And because I felt like because I slowly started to deal with it from when I was a bartender before getting into management, it was somewhat innate. It was built in by by 1 by a point, it was like second nature for me to understand how to deal with certain people and certain customers and what to say, what not to say, how to treat, and what to take off the bill. And just long story short, find a way to turn them around. Because if their if their experience has started with, for example, it's a busy Saturday.
Obviously, Saturday predominantly is the busiest day of the week for restaurants, regardless of the time. And let's say, for example, it's 3 o'clock. There's a table of there's a party of 4 way in, but the table that they're meant to be on haven't even ordered desserts yet. Mhmm. So, obviously, now the per the people that that your your party's waiting.
You, man, are waiting. You're on a table. So you're waiting by the bar. Okay? I will get you a round of drinks.
Sorry about the wait. I will speak to you, say, oh, let's go let's take you to another floor because, obviously, we need a table back, but you can have some drinks upstairs. I know, we're trying to push you or whatever, but don't don't worry. We'll take you upstairs. You can finish your your meal upstairs.
And then at once those 2 have been communicated, I will then speak to, like, the busses, the runners, whoever, get the table sorted, wipe the table. I'll drop the bill, probably take the payment upstairs. So we we're not waiting for you guys to all, like, let's, let's do this bill here. Blah blah blah. And then by that time, it should have been about 5 to 10 minutes.
I'll check back on you, see how you guys are doing, and then get your table ready. And then by that point, hopefully, by the time your meal has started, I'll come check, like, probably twice throughout the meal, and I'll be making sure to drop the bill as well. So you've got, like, a familiar face. Even though it started off with a terrible experience, you've got my face to be like, oh, at least he's tried to change it. Do you know what I mean?
So you've got, like, a reckon recognizable face. Can we try? Okay. Can I be disgruntled? You turn me around.
Okay.
So I have to leave here happy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Long story short no. Don't get me wrong. It doesn't happen every time.
Okay. Cool.
But the aim of the game is to, yes, try and make someone leave happy. And if if you're an asshole, I was like, alright. Cool, man.
Yeah. Alright. Cool. So in this game, you can't give up on me.
Alright. I'll try my best. Yeah. Yeah.
I'll try
my but you have to be realistic as well. You have that's the thing because there will be I know what you're like, and you have to be realistic because there are certain things you wouldn't do in a restaurant. So let's just make this clear.
Yeah. Okay. The okay. I'm gonna be realistic Mhmm. But I'm gonna be a realistic Karen.
Bastard. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Not not realistic James. Okay. Because James will just shout.
Okay. Cool.
Eat his soup like a good little bitch Okay. Cool. And just complain to his girl. Alright. But I will be a realistic bastard.
Okay. Cool.
Talk to him. Alright. Cool. I've sat down.
Yeah.
Come, come and ask me how we're doing.
Hi, guys. How you doing? How you guys doing today? How we doing today? How you doing today?
Yeah.
Big man. We've been here for 40 minutes. No one's even asked us for a drink.
You've been here for 40 minutes.
You don't even know that we've been here for 40 minutes. That's the joke. Well, I'm sure you
guys were at the bar prior to sitting down. No?
Yeah. I drank water because I wanted to have a drink when I sat down.
Oh, my bad. I apologize. What's the name of the booking? Oh my god.
Is this
kinda fucking serious?
Duncan. Duncan. No worries, mister Duncan. I see there's 4 of you here. Sorry about that.
Let me get your 1st round of drinks so I know where you guys are sorted, and I'll come back to you after that. K. Boom boom boom boom. Round of drinks. Boom boom.
I'm back. I will bring the drinks over as well.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I already know it. Yeah. Here's your run puncher and
then Thank you.
Boom boom. Sorry, guys. I know you've been waiting for 40 minutes, but I'm gonna take your order straight away. I'll run you through the menu. So can I take your order, please?
What do you recommend? I've never been here before. You've
never been here before?
And at this rate, I won't be coming back. But anyway, what do you recommend? What's your name? Sorry.
Fuhad.
I'm not gonna say that. But
You would never say that to me. I promise you, you would never say that to me because I I will drop everything.
They were saying character.
Yeah. Focus.
I'm not gonna say that.
You're not gonna
say my name?
What what's would you recommend?
So I do recommend the, gochujang cauliflower. I also recommend the, duck balls for starters. For mains, we do have a sliced rib eye, which is 40 grams per 40 sorry. 400 grams. 400 grams of like, you said
Is there anyone here who
actually knows what they're doing? Just a question.
I know
exactly what I'm doing.
Is it 40 grams or a 100? It's 400 grams. Alright.
Pardon? Is there anything else you you would like, or should I go on with the rest of the table?
Carry on with the rest. I wanna make sure everyone's set before I before
I before
I make my own.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Pause. Just so you know, in my reality, if you give me chewed, I give it back. But I give I give I get chewed back in in, like, a The sake, anyway. Yes. I don't even know how to explain it, but you will you will know that.
I'm not 1 to fuck with. I'll continue.
K. I'm really trying to stay focused. Yeah.
I know.
I know.
I'm
trying to stay frustrated.
Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. So I've taken all their orders.
Taken all orders.
And I've recommended you these dishes. So back to you.
How would you recommend having the steak done?
I would personally say medium, but it's up to yourself.
Alright. Cool. I want it medium.
Okay. Medium's fine. Sides? Sides. We have rice.
We've got broccoli. Like I said, we've got a cauliflower dish at the, beginning. But if you want, rice broccoli, we have a mushroom dish as well. And we also have some sweet ones, so baby corn. What's the mushroom dish?
So the mushroom dish is, 4 different types of mushrooms. You've got shiitake. You've got baby. You've got shimeji. And you've also got an American type of mushroom, which is pretty new on the market at the moment.
So all of that is combined in, like, a small sauce, but it's also spicy at the same time. I would recommend it, but it's not something What's the sauce? I'm lactose intolerant.
No one's even asked if I have any allergies.
We ask that at the end if you don't mind.
At the end?
Yes. I'll be dead at the end. No. We ask that at the end of taking the order, not the end of the Just
guys make it up as he goes along. Do you want your Just make it up as he goes along.
Do you want do you would you like another server? Because you probably got
the same experience. No. Because I the only reason that you're serving us is because we were here for basically an hour before anyone came over. So we got stuck with you, didn't we?
But this is why I'm trying to change that experience.
Is there a manager?
I am the manager.
Oh, fucking hell. I'll have the mushroom dish then. If I die, I die, I guess. What what do you
mean if you die, you die?
Can I have the mushroom dish, please?
You can have the mushroom dish. Do you have any allergies? Does anyone on the table have any allergies?
Do you even care?
I wouldn't ask if I didn't. Fair. No. We don't. You don't have any allergies?
No. We don't. So why would you die?
Are you taking the order or are you questioning me? Because I'm a paying customer.
I've taken the order. I'm asking you why would
you die? Boredom and starvation.
Okay. Your your food's on the way. I put I put your I put your starters through already. Don't you worry.
How'd you do that then?
I gave the list to my colleague.
I didn't see you do that.
That's that's the point. Alright. Cool. Your starters will be on the way.
Thank you.
The mains will probably take about 30 minutes. But as we are a the starters are on the way. The mains will be about 30 minutes. But as we are sharing, sharing restaurant, the food will come as and when. So there will always be food on the table.
Is there anything else I can get for you whilst I'm here?
What was your name again?
FoodHud.
Do you guys do tips, or is it just like it goes to everyone?
There's it's up to you. There's service charge on every bill, but you're more than happy to cash tip or card tip. It's up to yourself.
Well, I'm not paying for the dessert.
You didn't you've not ordered the dessert?
No. But you haven't offered me a free dessert.
We're not even at the dessert section yet. You've all I've given you a round of drinks and I've just taken your main And
do you think that's enough, do you? A round of drinks?
Do I think that's enough? This is the start of your meal. We can't afford Do
you think that's enough?
We can't afford
I'm asking you. Do you think a round of drinks is sufficient enough compensation for making us wait here for 40 minutes? Well, sir, if
you like to wait till we get to the end of the meal or at least wait till you get to after your mains, we can talk about desserts. But I'm not speaking about desserts while I've taken your starter's order. It doesn't make sense to me.
No. That's fair.
Is there anything else I can do for you whilst I'm here?
Alright.
You sure? Yeah. Cool. Guys, I hope you enjoy the email. And I'm walking off and I'm calling you a prick.
And that's that's literally it. Fair. Walking off, calling you a prick, and then letting at that point, I will let everyone know that you're a 400. Oh, so 400 means you are irritating. Fair.
Yeah.
400? Mhmm. Why 400? It just is.
It's it's just a code. 400.
What are the other codes? I know 86. 86. What are the, customer codes?
Customer code 700 means you're.
So so if you're on if you're
if there's, like, a group of buddies on, like, table 7, we were like well, or table 6 or whatever, we were like 700 or 6 position 2.
Say less. Yeah.
Sorry. 400 doesn't mean annoying. 100 means annoying. Okay. Cool.
So it means you're an irritation.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
So 1 we'll say 100 on 6, position 1. Position 1. W. Because you're at the head of the table. Damn.
Yeah. Damn. So that's how we do codes pretty quickly so everyone understands, but you don't understand. I could be you could be I could be taking your order, and a colleague of mine could walk past me, and I'll say 100p1, this table, or 100p1, table 6.
Has anyone who's ever worked have have you ever had a, situation where people have worked in restaurants before and they understand the codes and they've been like, what the fuck?
Yes. But not in a negative way. But not not with me. I've heard it happen to other people. I think this happened to Bella and someone else.
They were I can't remember. They were in a restaurant somewhere, and they went to the toilet, and 1 of the chefs soured. 700 on the walk, And they looked back as, like, safe. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Mad.
Looked back and said safe. So Right. You never know who knows these kind of, lingos. But yeah. Fair.
But I'll
let I would let the rest of the management know as and I will go to the chef as well, ETA on table 6, for example. Let's push that because Mhmm. I'll explain everything and then Alright. You turn you around.
Cool. Yeah, man.
Thank you. You turn me around. Pause. Pause.
Glad I
did. You got a dilemma for us, no?
I do. I'm a married man, but I also have a side chick whom I've been meeting secretly for lots of fun and fantasies. She's the only side chick that understands that I'm married and doesn't give me pressure and trouble, so I'm very happy with her. Recently, I finished building my new home, so I decided to do a little housewarming party with my friends at the new building without informing my wife. All my friends came with their girlfriends and side chicks, so I also went with mine.
The fuck? We had lots of fun. Loads to drink, and we ate all day. When the party was over, I spent the night with the, with my girl at the new house till the, following morning. Till the following morning when we were about to leave, my girl suggested to me that she wants to stay behind to clean and tidy up the place before, before she left.
Since This is side chick? This is side chick.
Okay. Cool.
I thought it was a good idea. I gave her the keys and left without thinking twice. 2 weeks later, I called to meet my girl at my house at at the new house, only to find out she has packed in her things and has been living there with her parents and her siblings. She lied to her parents that I bought the house for her, and they refused to leave. I threatened to involve, the men I threatened to involve the men in black, but she has also threatened to expose me to my wife and leaked some sensitive content of our secret affair and and some naughty things we've done whenever we link up.
I never knew this girl was recording us when we're getting intimate. Now my wife is asking me questions about the house, and she's demanding that I take her there, to go and inspect the place, But I've given her loads of excuses and lies upon lies. I've even ran out of excuses. How do I get this girl out of my house without her family, exposing me to my wife? Please, I need advice.
I will
be in the comment sections.
Charge it, bro. I'll run up in there with to be fair, I'm not playing. I'm actually not playing these games.
Okay.
There's no way she can post up with her family in my yard. And then even once I get her out, what, she's just gonna that's it? She's just gonna dip forever? Yeah. Nah, bro.
It's charged. I'm running up in there and dragging everyone out by the hair.
Yeah. But then what's the aftermath of that?
I lose my wife probably.
Damn. Yeah. Yeah.
It's all dip, bro. It serves me right.
It does.
In the family home.
It does serve you right. It does serve you right. There's there's no
There's literally nothing else to
chat. Yeah.
There's no win win out of that. Fuck. Yeah, man. Let's peek.
I'll be
in the comments, miss Joyce.
I'll be in the comments. Yeah. There's there's literally no way. Unless you can find some dirt on her. That's the only that that's the only way to get out
of this.
Yeah. But I don't see that happening.
Yeah. Neither do. She's clearly
got nothing to lose.
Facts. Considering she brought the whole family there, moved all stuff in and blah blah blah and lied to the family and said, oh, yes.
He bought
this house for me, for us. We're in here now. I'm sorted.
I'm Eve okay. Yeah. Upon reflection, I might just depending on how worthy I am in this situation, I might just get a new house. I might just start
again. You're gonna have to.
This is crazy. Yeah. Consequences. Consequences, bro. Yeah.
Right. You said you got something random to talk about.
Yeah, man. Arkane used to win animation of the year. Fucking hell. I'm on I've watched episode 7. Spoiler in 3, 2, 1.
Both fights with, Jinx and the pops and Vi and the pops. The the, Yeah. Have you seen Alright? Yeah. I What are you all to?
Sorry. I should have asked that first.
I'm up to
It's all out, by the way, now.
It's all out before the season's out?
Yeah.
Okay. So it's 333. I've watched 33.
Okay. Okay. So So
I've watched So
you're on episode 6. So you've seen 6. You're on 7. You're going to 7.
Yeah. I I've seen You would've seen what I'm talking about then. Okay. Go.
Because if you've seen the second half, if you've seen the first 3 and the second Yeah. You've seen exactly what I'm talking about. So I love, first of all you you it's fine. It's fine. Uh-huh.
1st, I'm not gonna go into too much of what I've said what I needed to say Okay. On that bit. First of all, I love when they do, back stories or, like, a flashback or any form of, like, music type of thing. The animation style is very different.
100. The
animators have worked over time in
this movie. The time. It's
it's giving me, into this is it Into the Spider Verse? Or which one's the second 1? Across the Spider Verse? 1 of them, anyway.
Yeah. And Yeah. When
yeah. The animation is
It's unbelievable.
Unbelievable. The fight scenes are you have you seen season 1?
Oh, this mother.
Come on, man. I was The
way you grabbed your ears, bro. I was like, oh, shit. Okay. He's in.
No. I'm not yet. I'm soon soon come. Soon come.
Just remember the credit
we gave me yesterday for being watching from the fall. Yeah. The fall. You guys haven't seen that yet.
That's from 2013, bro.
Alright. So why haven't you seen it yet? Fair.
No. That's not No. No. No. No.
No. No. No. No. No.
No.
I haven't seen everything in the world ever.
You've seen the last time?
No 1
in this room had ever even heard
of it. Okay. That's your business.
You've heard of Arcane, no?
I've heard of Arcane. Yes. And I'm planning to I spoke about it on our stream last night. I'm gonna do a watch party, of it.
Season 2? All of it, fam. Fair. It's a lot of Arcane.
How many episodes is it per season?
It's only 18 in total. I think 9 and 9. It's not bad.
Okay. They're all an hour?
Not all of
them. They're all an hour.
Okay. Fine. Maybe I blitz through season 1 then, and then I do I street I do watch part of season 2.
It's good. But it's Good. Animation, heavy. Fight scenes, heavy. Cover your ears for 1 second.
For 1 second. When, the, the the scientist slash doctor dropped the blood, and then
the the the animal here.
Crazy. Vanda. Vanda is the pop's name. The animation style of Vander's perspective running through the thing, following the
blood draw lamp.
All this kind of shit. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was live.
Splicing man with
1, the swing?
Live. It was live.
Oh, yeah. The fight scenes, bro. The fight scenes.
Unbelievable, bro. It has
to win.
Season 2 is better than season 1 as well.
Then again, you I can I would have to take what your word for it because I have not rewatched season 1? But season 2 is might be the best animation I've seen this year.
The only thing that's troubling me now, which I hope I get more answers to moving on, Jace is fucking up the bag. Talk to me. Jace is fucking up with the bag. Obviously, you can see he's come out all murked and skinny
and all
this stuff. And he's just murking people and dipping. Mhmm. But he's not giving any answers.
So do you know why he's doing what he's doing? No. So I had the same confusion as to why Jace was moving the way he's moving. So I after finishing episode 6, I reread on Wiki episode 1 to episode 6 to get Jace's context. Does that make sense?
So he's livid because when he put Victor when he tried to heal Victor with the hexing, obviously, Victor was livid that he used that instead of using it to save something else, so then they parted ways. But I think, heck, I think Vic Jayce, sorry. I think Jayce, Jayce was starting to get all these visions. Obviously, when he saw the Orb and all them scenes, he started to get all these visions and stuff, and he wanted to eradicate
Hexcorp completely.
Yeah. Yeah. Because Jace is because Victor is part Hex Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, he
had to
he had to mark him.
I mean, I get it, but, like, it's not given enough context. Like, because so basically, I don't know if this this might have been back end of season 1 Mhmm. Or maybe beginning of season 2. Jace, the little doctor professor from season Heidenbergen. Yeah.
Some. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heimaldinger.
Heimaldinger. Something like that.
Yeah. Heimaldinger. Yeah.
And the guy the the, echo as well. Oh, the black guy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They all got trapped in the fates. Yes. Yes.
And Jayce is the only 1 to come out so far. Was that the beginning of season 2 or end of season 1?
I think it was season 2. I can't remember. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
So they've all been trapped in there. And then Jayce has come out, and he's just been on a madness set. And I understand I'm getting I understand that for some reason, he thinks that arcane is evil. And but I don't understand the ferocity in which he's killing people.
I think it makes sense now because I've seen because I've seen episode 7. It follows Echo a lot more in episode 7. And from watching that, I think what you've just said will, like, double back on itself to make context for Jace.
Okay. Cool. Okay. Cool. Okay.
Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Because, yeah, I think it'll make sense. Okay. I think it'll make sense. But animation of the year.
It's unbelievable.
Animation It was worth a year.
Season 1 came out 3 years ago, which is shocking to me, but
it was worth a wait.
It was worth a wait. It was unbelievable.
The slow mo's in that bitch?
Yeah. The fight yeah. The fight scene between, Vanda and Jinx in the prison was
sick.
When she gets those pink eyes and starts
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's fucking heavy.
Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, man.
It's very, very decent. I like it a lot.
Good. Yeah.
Yeah. You're gonna enjoy it, Rem. 100%. You're gonna enjoy it.
Rem, Google, animation of the year, please. Because I'm pretty sure do do 2023. I'm pretty sure Blue Eyes samurai won it last year.
Oh, 2024. 2024.
My bad. So that's this year.
Okay. Cool.
They won this year. God. Blue Eyes samurai was fucking unreal. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It did come out this year. Fair play.
Blue Eyes samurai came out this year?
I'm sure was it this was it not early this year?
Probably, to be fair. Early this year? I'm glad it was. Been a long year, really.
It has been a long year.
Yeah. Fucking hell, man.
I can't wait for season 2 of that. Yeah.
Season 2 is gonna be wham.
Do you think they're gonna go back in time or continue the
well, she's dipping to England
now on
the boat.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember.
She's Yeah. She's taken she's kidnapped homeboy. She's taken him to England to find
himself, find
the other guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm not sure how I feel about that.
It seems a bit mad. Maybe they'll do,
like, a 2, do, like, a flashback in the first half to to get the first because she's you need to get 4 Donny's. Right? She's got 1 of
the Donny's. Something like that.
Yeah. That's 4 of them. Yeah. She's got 1 of the Donny's.
1 of
them's her dad in
it. Something like that. Yeah. I might be watching, you know. I might rewatch it.
Yeah. It was good.
I look forward to Squid Game,
mom. Squid Game.
The trailer came out last night.
Oh, did it really?
The second 1.
The second trailer. Yeah.
I'm not
even seeing the first trailer.
The first trailer wasn't much.
I mean, no. I mean, for the second, like, it was an actual the official trailer for the 2nd season. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Snippet.
An actual full trailer. Because you have ones where, like, snippets
Yeah.
And stuff. I'm interested what they'll do with that, man.
Yeah. Squid Game's gonna be cool. I don't know what the fuck they're gonna do though.
So I think he wants he's going back in the game and he wants to sabotage it and basically end it. But I don't know how he's gonna do
that. Interesting.
He's clearly got a plan because he's going back into it.
You know what's dread though as well? The, Squid Game shit is is tough because since it came out, it was so groundbreaking and so popular that people have done some kind of Squid Game esque thing.
Yeah.
Between season 1 and season 2, there's been a 1000000 different, like, shows and games and YouTube shit and all this kind of stuff that's surrounded, like based off Squid Game. That by the time season 2 comes in, I'm going to be like, I'm gamed out, bro. But fuck it fair. That was a show. That was, that was the, that was the show that everyone was like, you have to watch this show.
Yeah.
And everyone in the entire world had seen it. Mhmm. And then I remember thinking, you know, when people are kind of stuttering their eyes off, everyone's just watching it. I'm not watching it. Yeah.
That was the 1 where I was thinking, I don't know if I'm gonna watch it because everyone's on his dick. Mhmm.
Yeah. People supposed to watch it. What did you what
did you think was the most terrifying game? I think the 1 where they jumped on the glass was the most terrifying. Out of all of them, that was 1 of
the last ones though, when they jumped it was 1 of
the worst. Yeah, that's a jump along the glass.
Google, Squid Games games.
Yes. It's the attention of that because you have no idea
on it. It's not pushing each other and
shit.
Yeah. Yeah. That's not
happening. Yeah. That's the 1 I think was the worst.
Oh my
god. The first 1, I think I could bust the
first 1. 0, the red light green light. Yeah.
I'd smash that. Yeah.
I
think I could hit that.
Yeah. Alright. Cool.
Statues with red light green light. Marbles. The fucking cookie thing.
Yeah. Fuck that.
Depends what shape you get, man.
Yeah, that was horrible. Cross Bridge, Friend and Foe. I don't remember a lot of these games.
I think they took a war. Tuggle War was stressful. That was crazy.
That was tough. I think they're mixing some of their games with the actual Netflix game version of Squid Games. Because, you know, there was those Netflix version. Oh, I've heard of that. Yeah.
Game ones. Yeah.
Red light, green light. Easy.
Mhmm. I could do that. Yeah.
I reckon I could do that. Sugar Honeycomb was tough.
That would murk me. The umbrella is Yeah. That would murk me.
The way
these men were sucking the sides of that?
Fuck. That would murk me. Yeah. That would, yeah. And you can't even, you don't know which 1 you get, right?
How do you choose?
So you do choose, but they didn't know what the game was.
Yeah. So they
had to just go to a random shape. So some people just went to umbrella and then that was like the worst 1 you can get.
Oh, okay.
I think there was star, circle, square, and umbrella.
Romulus, if I oh, god.
I think square would be the easiest.
Oh, yeah. Square probably easiest.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Square would be banging. Cool. Right, Ram, what's next?
Tug of war. Depends on your team. Vile.
Really does.
Depends on
your team, man.
I wonder if we had a busted team, though. Yeah. And they won.
Yeah. Yeah.
They did the the
the because they did the opposite.
Yeah. They did a certain technique. I think they said that you'd like there's no way without sounding sauce. You tug for a bit.
Yeah.
And then you have to you Give them an e way. Stop. So you all you do is lean back and let them just do it, and then it tires them out, and then you just go ham after that.
I remember that now. Which is
a really good technique.
Yeah. It was good.
That's such a good technique. That was good.
Fuck. That was scary.
Yeah. That was terrifying.
Marble. I don't
remember this 1.
0, they make up any game for the marbles.
So it's
everyone every pair was making up their own game so you could get everyone's someone else's marbles. I have 10. You have 10. My my goal is to take your 10, and I have 20.
Yeah.
If you have 0, you die.
Fair. Okay. Cool. Medium
stress. Hopscotch. This is the 1.
This is the glass thing. Hopscotch.
Yeah. That was disgusting. You're nice if you're, like if there's 10 people there, you're nice if you're, like, the 7th 1 to go. Yeah. You're chilling.
Yeah.
Yeah. What? The first? But it was getting to a point where they were going across and then people in front weren't moving.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you'd have
to push them or go around them.
Even in the games 1 that they did after this, same thing. They were being People out of front, I'm not going.
No. My
go. Make
me go.
Yeah. I can. Push someone. Fast. I'm
sorry. I'd have to.
If I'm second and a person from me is something, I'm pushing.
And I
would expect the same treatment.
Really? Yeah.
I'd expect if I'm first and I'm saying I'm not going, I'd expect someone to push me.
So if you're if you're 3rd Yeah. And we're going going going, and then the guy at the first is like, no. No. No. No.
And the
guy behind him is like, fuck that. Push, smash through, gang, goes Mhmm. And then goes. And then a couple more, he's like,
I don't think I can. I'm pushing it.
And he
looks at you and he's like, blah,
blah, blah, blah. And you push him.
I'm pushing him, man. He smashes him. And then you're going, and you're like,
now I'm here.
I don't actually think I can move. And then, bro, behind you, like You
know I'm gonna go.
Push him.
Yeah. After this, after it's affirmative, bro.
I'm affirmative. I said, please, bro. Please don't push me.
They're still gonna push you, but you have to squabble there. Oh, 0, we'll squabble up.
We will. We actually will. I'll I'll jump back on their glass, and we'll just wrap it out because I'm not I'm not dealing with that. Fair play. That's too scary.
Fair play. Fair play.
But I always thought, are you, you can touch the barriers as well, innit? It's you can't balance on it, but you can touch it.
I don't I don't remember if there were barriers.
No. The the thing with the lights on right here.
Oh, okay. Okay. I I don't remember, to be honest.
No 1 touched it, but that's what I'd be aiming for.
Fair. Fair.
I remember it was sick, though, because there's that guy who he was like, I used to make glass. So and then he could he he was like he said the reflections of the lights, and then they switched all the lights off. That's fucking because he was doing really well. They got lights up the last 2, and then there's, like, turn the
lights off. He should
have shut his mouth. Yeah. He should
have shut his fucking mouth.
Literally. And then the squid I don't remember how to play.
Oh, yeah.
How does this 1 go again? Features a publicized game that, according to the frontman that, is 1 of the most violent games that Korean kids used play. The game is played by drawing a square, a triangle, and 2 circles on the ground, and has 2 teams trying to invade each other's space. The tricky part is you can't touch any lines, and you must hop on 1 foot on most areas. Of course, players will try their best to make you fall along the way.
Okay.
I don't really remember how he won this. Neither do I. Neither do I.
I remember the girl was murked, though.
Oh, that was hot. That's the only thing I hated about that. I thought it was so stupid. When they blew up the glass bridge after and then, like, 1 of them got injured, obviously.
Yeah. Yeah.
It kind of ruined that.
It was a bit like, meh.
But Yeah. Well, she's
going to the last game fit and healthy.
Mhmm. I'm curious of what the new games will be in the 2nd season.
Same.
They can't be the same.
Rem, do me a favor, please. Google, winner of squid games and see if she got the money. Because I remember, squid games, the challenge here. I remember for a while, she didn't get it. I remember seeing it.
She didn't get it for a minute. But I had to keep a secret for a minute.
She won $4,000,000? Yeah.
Jesus.
It doesn't say otherwise. Fair play. Maybe she did maybe it took a while, but she still got it.
Fair enough. Alright, guys. We're gonna charge it there. Thank you very, very, very much. As always, we appreciate you.
As always, head on over to patreon.comforward/shitsandgigs. Contribute 3 pound a month
Tempe a day.
Run the piece
to S&G.
And your daddies will take it from there. Facts. If you live in New Zealand, Australia, make sure you grab some tickets to daddy's home down under. Yes, sir. And yeah, man.
Love, love, love. Bye.
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