Transcript of March Madness Has Begun, High Point Upsets Wisconsin, UNC Meltdown, Stanford Steve Giving Best Bets For Friday + Fyre Fest Of The Week

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On today's part of my take presented by DraftKings, day one of March Madness. We're gonna go through all the action. Uh, we also have Stanford Steve on to talk to you about Friday's best bets. So he's going to break down if you're listening to this right now and you get your teeth kicked in like pretty much all of us. Hank, did you do okay?

No.

Okay.

So like all of us, did anybody in the booth?

No, no, no one won.

Memes.

So, yes, Steve will break down the Friday slate for you. And we're going to finish with Fyre Fest. And it is all brought to you. This episode is brought to you by BodyArmor Flash IV, the official rapid rehydration drink of March Madness. Flash IV is packed with electrolytes, delivering faster, longer-lasting hydration without artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners. Whether you're training, traveling, or just feeling the heat, I'm gonna crack open a Flash IV right now. Strawberry kiwi.

They're so good. I just had a grape one and had an orange one earlier today.

Work hard, hydrate hard with Body Armor Flash IV. Grab yours today at 7-Eleven. Okay, let's go. Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, March 20th, and the tournament is over for me, and sports are dead and stupid, and why do we care?

Yeah, that's a tough one. Do you want to start with that one? I feel like there's a lot of sickos and perverts that are tuning in to listen to the game. Yeah, Hank is tuning in. He bounded into the studio. He's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

I walked—

couldn't wait to record. So I'm upset for my good friend Dan, but On the other hand, like watching High Point, I actually think that High Point is a very, very good team.

So Acuff puts 30 on their head.

That was— it was no joke.

They were good. There's no fluke there.

They're a very good team.

Absolutely not. No, Hank, there was a moment. So like hour after the game, I was pretty upset, just mad, angry, going through all the emotions. And then I flushed it because I was like, look, there's a lot of tournament left. Got to pick myself up. Up off the mat. So like around 5 o'clock, I announced I was back and I'm good. And Hank's like, I could, I could get you back mad. And I was like, what did I— but you, you just like smart.

He did.

Well, no, I didn't.

I didn't. You're like, you're making this smile.

Yeah. Because I was trying— weren't you happy that I was back?

Yeah.

But then he was like, I could get—

you're like, why are you smiling? And I just laughed because I thought of something to say, but I did not say it. Yeah.

What are you gonna say?

Well, no, it's not— I don't want to— I don't— again, this is like—

text it to me.

I'll say—

you might as well say it.

Just say it now.

It was a, it was a callback.

I was just gonna film Max in on the conversation in the cave about a potential guest.

Oh yeah, Chase Johnson, who by the way, similar to my Sam Darnold, uh, take, I was very prescient, prescient, prescient, prescient, prescient, prescient, uh, 2 weeks ago I said Chase Johnson is our new goalie. This was well before conference tournament week, well before brackets. Little did I know that I would get— I was just predicting my own demise. Because that was the game. The Badgers were up 8, missed the layup, and then Chase Johnson hit a logo 3 that looked like there was a magnet in the ball. Not saying they cheated, but just saying it looked that way. Yeah. And that was it. That was the swing. And I, I'm like, so I really know what to say other than I'm kind of used to it because this team just, just like rips my guts out every single year. And I spend so much energy and, uh, time watching them and caring about them. Like, I go back to watching them play against Oregon at midnight, you know, in the middle of February, and having that loss bum me out for 3 straight days. And like, all the effort I put in, it just sucks.

You just get no, no reward out of it. But yeah, it sucked. I loved watching this team this year. They had some awesome wins, but it doesn't matter because they didn't do shit in the tournament, and that's the part that sucks. And everyone gets a laugh at me, which is totally deserved because again, I— they, they didn't like choke. It was High Point just outplayed them in the, in the end. And it just sucks. Yeah, sucks. I, I don't know. Sports are so cruel that way where it's just you don't get the— you don't get anything back from it. Yeah, you really don't.

Well, it's the friends you make along the way. It's the memories you create for yourself. I honestly think that if we didn't watch sports and we didn't commit these things to memory, like, like you said, the memories of staying up watching Oregon, all the meaningless games that ultimately don't amount to jack shit that you still remember things from. Our brains would just turn to mush. This is how we stay mentally fit. It's like either that or wake up in the morning and do crosswords all day. Yeah, this is way better.

But it reminds me of when I, you know, the Patriots lost the Super Bowl and I had to just—

when was that? Which one? And they've lost the most of anything.

Just hop in the shower, do soggy sorrows because we brought that back and then record this podcast.

Yeah.

It made it that much worse. Yeah, but that's what happens.

Yeah, it does. One of your favorite teams, you do soggy sorrows.

You do soggy.

We brought that.

Yeah, you guys brought it back.

Yeah, yeah, you brought it back.

No, you guys.

No, you did, because you did the soggy sorrows. We didn't bring it back.

No, we're going to bring back soggy.

Yeah, you did that.

I didn't hear it.

Yeah, we all did it. Yeah, I— yeah, you did the soggy sorrows. Good job.

Are you gonna do soggy sorrows?

I mean, I can do them. Do you want me to go leave right now?

I just— I'm— I, I just We—

that I'll do.

So I actually don't— I don't want Big Cat to go. I want to rip the show right now.

I'll go do Soggy Sorrows.

You know what?

I'm going to do Soggy Sorrows. You want me to do Soggy Sorrows?

I'm just— we— it's a segment that, you know, our fans— we brought it back.

So pause the show.

We brought it back.

Max, pause the show. We're going to— I'm going to go do Soggy Sorrows.

You happy? Happy now?

Everyone was asking me that.

I got—

I got a million tweets.

Everyone was asking.

We're not going to have the show ready in time for tomorrow.

Yeah, we're not going to.

No, we won't. It's not going to be out. Sorry, everyone. No show tomorrow.

No show. It's going to be— sorry, the show you didn't watch.

Soggy Sorrows. If the show's not out, you didn't watch it on Netflix before 8 a.m.

at least because Hank made Big Cat leave to do Soggy Sorrows, threw us all way behind. Great job, Hank. I hope you're happy.

I just was— I just was talking about— we were just reflecting about our teams losing and I was— yeah, I just had went through this and I was reflecting and I had to do that.

Yeah.

So I just brought that up. Anecdotal evidence. Anecdotal, you know, connection.

You just want him to be as miserable as you were.

So we're just— Soggy Stars is just back now.

Soggy Stars is fully back, which is bad news for all of us, actually.

You just like—

I—

what?

You—

yes, it's been back since the Super Bowl. Well, in the Super Bowl— like, what does that mean?

I actually—

you're right.

You're right.

You know what?

Now it's fully back for every loss.

Fuck it.

I don't—

well, Hank, no, not every loss. Like, that's a Super Bowl loss and that's a— yeah, that's like you got 12-5 upside first round. You're right. It's got to be meaningful loss. It's got to be one that stings.

It was stated, but I'm—

yeah, in the Super Bowl happen.

I said, I said I was going to be late. Now, when you guys made me do it for Super Bowl, I was like, I will be.

I've actually never gotten wet before with my clothes on in this office.

Let's go.

Come on, Jake. I didn't know you like to get wet. You've been smoking PCP all day. Yeah.

So when Duke loses, you will be doing soggy sorrows, I guess.

Sure.

I have a— I will agree to soggy sorrow. I will agree to soggy sorrows for Utah State, Villanova. I don't think I should have to do soggy sorrows if Villanova loses to Arizona. I feel like that's fair.

How soggy do I look? Yeah, you're a favorite. You're pretty wet. Pretty soggy. What?

Oh, it's—

I guess the game sucked. I don't know what else to say. And yes, what he was alluding to What Hank was alluding to was Josh asked, like, do you want Chase Johnson tomorrow? I said no. I was like, I don't. I was like, if he beats Arkansas, would love to have him on.

I said that.

I do not want— and he also texted me this like 2 hours after my heart— my guts were on the ground.

Yeah, we saw the text.

Josh is our booker, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, we saw. I love him, he does a great job, but I was like, that's a crazy no. That's a big no.

We saw the text come through, and I— what I did think about it, but I figured that that might be too raw for Big Cat. But if he wants it on the weekend, like we had Golkie in the cave, if, if Jace wants to come chill in the cave.

No problem.

Next week, if they get bounced, that'd be awesome.

Yeah, because he wins Saturday, would love to have him on on Sunday because that's enough time where it's like, hey dude, you fucking beat my brains in. But yeah, getting that text 2 hours after losing, I was like, I don't— I'd rather not talk to this guy.

So with High Point, like, like I said earlier, they're just a good basketball team. They had size, they had speed, they had athleticism, and they were all really fucking good. And after the game, their coach said, we couldn't find any majors that wanted to play us. No, no Power 4 teams want to play us. And I get it. I completely understand why no Power 4 teams would want to schedule that team. They're out of conference because they're really fucking good. And it was kind of awesome how they didn't bother, like, really activating Chase Johnson until it was crazy, until the second half of the second half. And then they're like, oh yeah, we got this guy and he's got that release. Where he like shoots and then he puts his arms out to the side real quick that only awesome shooters have. And just like once it leaves their hands, they don't give a fuck. They know it's in.

And he— yeah, he was making shots from all angles. He made his first 2 of the year. It only took him like 14 steps to get it.

But yeah, yeah, 2 and a half steps.

Yeah. Yeah, it was— it sucks. I don't know what— yeah, I mean, it really, really sucks. But again, I think I'm— I think the only lesson I've learned is like I need to just stop believing. I need to stop believing because this has also become a thing where the Badgers haven't been to the Sweet 16 in like 9 years, 10 years I think going on. And this is also why, uh, when people like Hank or other Duke fans out there like, oh, why are you so obsessed? Like, because every year that we keep going is another year that I'm just reminded how close I was in 2015. I will never get back there, and it will just never— that will haunt me for the rest of my life. and I will be in my dying bed and being like, 2015. It just won't happen like every other team, because in pro sports, you can— any team can get good. You have, you have hope in pro sports because it's like there's a salary cap, you can draft, all these things. In college, it's— there's windows, and if you don't hit it, it's like, especially if you're not one of the blue bloods, you know, you're probably never going to get it back there.

And that's the, that's the hard reality. Hank, any other troll things? I know you got a lot. You— I know you got a lot. Go ahead. I'm— if this was—

if this was an hour after—

I don't understand where it's like I didn't— I didn't— I didn't troll you today at all.

No, I know. I'm saying right now, I'm saying go ahead. I'm— I'm— I'm saying I'm good. So like, I can laugh about it now.

I mean, you got pretty upset when I even suggested Soggy Sorrows.

You—

you did. I just went and did Soggy Sorrows.

You said that the show wasn't going to be out on time.

That was actually PFT.

I brought that up. So fuck you.

That was PFT.

I—

what? Take it back.

Okay, I take it back.

That was PFT who said that.

Do you think that losing, uh, in the first time slot— like, if you're gonna get upset, if you're gonna— would you rather lose in the— like, what's the ideal time first week into games to lose a devastatingly, like, big upset loss as a favorite?

Right.

Okay, uh, details are important.

No, that's— this is for, like, general, right? This happens every year. Embrace debate. You got, like, more of, like, a general topic.

You nailed context there. Uh, I would say for that type of loss, it would probably be better to be like Friday after dinner because you, you almost feel like you were still in the tournament. Like, I was never in the tournament. I just wasn't. The tournament started and then I was gone. So the only plus side is by tomorrow afternoon no one will remember it, but it still feels like I wasn't even in the tournament. So I would say Friday after dinner because then you turn around and it's Saturday and everyone's talking about the second round. Yeah, probably that, that the first window sucks. You just don't feel— I was never, I was never alive.

And for a little bit it looked like you might get like a small amount of relief after the game was over because Duke was in big trouble. Oh yeah. And that would have— if you had a, if you had a bad loss before that time, you were just rooting against Duke because then the entire story of the weekend becomes Duke lost to a 16 seed.

Right.

And it looked like it could happen for a little bit.

Right.

But yeah, again, I don't think the Badgers played poorly. No, High Point was like you ran into a buzzsaw.

High Point was better. Anything else?

Would you rather lose to like—

this is where it's like, no, to pretend that you didn't have more questions.

No, it's like you're going to make it.

Yeah, go ahead.

No, I'm just talking like this is more like because like you're going through it right now. You're going through something that a fan, every fan base is going through every March. And it's like you can kind of not give people the playbook of like, no, I mean, what's his name? CJ McCollum. We went through it.

Uh, what's his name? Would you rather—

what's his name?

And he tries to— he's not so disrespectful. Watch college basketball.

What team was that?

Is it late?

Watch college basketball, Max.

Uh, would you rather lose to like another, you know, Power Five conference school or like a real true underdog?

It doesn't matter. It all sucks. It really doesn't. Like, I don't think it matters. It just sucks.

That's it. That's the last one.

Okay. Appreciate it, Hank.

Good questions, Hank.

Yeah.

I, yeah, I mean, the one good thing is I'm used to it now. So it did. I was able to bounce. PFD, you were in the cave with me. I was able to bounce back about an hour and a half later. I was, I was okay.

Yeah. I mean, you were, you were pretty upset and understandably so.

It's just like, it's a fucking shitty way to do it.

It stinks to go out if you're in that position, you're playing a team that you thought that you would be able to handle.

Oh, yeah. And I'm sure—

I think you did allow yourself to believe like, oh, yeah, it's a weird season for you because if you had asked yourself 4 months ago, like, do you think that this team is going to win a game in the NCAA tournament? You'd be like, I don't think we're going to get into that.

We were a straight bubble team until we beat Michigan in Ann Arbor.

Yeah.

In January.

And, and so you did.

You did.

You went from at the start of the season, hopeful midseason, this team sucks. I have no expectations. And then they had enough wins against really good teams that you thought maybe. Yeah.

And it's— yeah. And it was also even in the game that that sequence with 4 and a half minutes left, we were up 8. It's like, okay, we're going to win this game. And then it just evaporated. And you knew the minute Chase Johnson hit that logo 3, it was like, that's a fucking problem. Yeah, like that was a problem and it's going to go the other way now. Oh, Hank, here's one last one for you. Losing when you're the biggest upset in the day, that sucks. I'm surprised you didn't ask that. Would you rather lose on a day with a ton of upsets or just be the only upset?

Yeah, it's good. It's a good point. But you still have tomorrow.

I have another question of tomorrow that Hank is thinking about asking, but he's not asking.

Yes. Can I ask it, please? I would love to. The floor is yours, guys.

Does it make it any worse to lose to a team that gives away free ice cream to all their students?

Absolutely. Sucks bad. High Point isn't a real school.

It's vacation.

It's vacation.

4 years of post-high school vacation.

It sucks. Like, students in Madison right now still have another, like, solid month and a half of winter. High Point is going and eating ice cream and in their shorts and flip-flops and having steaks, and they don't have class, so they're fine. It's a complete blowout in every facet of the way.

High Point seems like a campus that it's just like nobody, nobody goes to class. You just lay out a towel and you just chill on the quad. It's the— voted the nicest campus in the United States. Fuck you.

I think I'm— I would like you to go like 20 questions because you— we listen, we did this to you after the Super Bowl. We asked all these questions.

That's fair.

Would you rather High Point beat Arkansas or get blown out by Arkansas?

Good question. Probably beat.

But that means you could have beat Arkansas.

No, that— no, because we lost to High Point.

But it would be like, if they get blown out, it's like we wouldn't have had a chance.

No, I think beat— I think beat Arkansas probably be the better outcome just because you're like, wow, High Point's really good. Like, what are you going to do? They're just really good. So I mean, I guess I'll be rooting for Arkansas because I love Aikoff. So that part, I'll probably be rooting for Arkansas in this game. But yeah, probably beat, I think. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Like, that's the thing. It just doesn't matter because I'm out of the tournament. Yes, PFT.

Yeah, PFT, commenter, Barstool Sports, part of the Take Podcast. Is Greg Gard on the hot seat?

I saw some of those tweets. I would say no, but why does it have to be a tweet?

It's just an actual question.

No, there was— I mean, I follow a lot of like Badger basketball on Twitter and there was some discourse about it. Um, I would say no because he actually has done a lot of things to change the program. Like, we play a modern offense. We don't play Wisconsin basketball anymore. I think they need to get tougher, um, and I think they need to— like, just the rebounding was a problem. Defense was a problem. I, I, I trust Greg Gard, but yeah, you have to, you have to throw some criticism to him. He hasn't been in the Sweet 16 in 9 years or whatever it is, 10 years. We've, we've lost as favorites like multiple times in the last 5 years in the tournament. So he deserves a lot of criticism, but I do not think he should be fired. And I don't think making an irrational— like, he is in all of the Wisconsin athletics, like, problems, he is a small one because I think he does a pretty damn good job with everything that he's given.

Yeah, Hank, are there any more Knipples that you could possibly acquire?

Good question. Yes, there is. There's his son, his brother. His younger brother actually went on a recruiting visit. Got the game that we beat Michigan State. So maybe that was— maybe we'll get a Knipple.

You got it.

That, that can't let the—

be nice.

We got a Knipple.

You can't let the Knipples out.

I would love a Knipple. Knipple would help a lot. But yeah, I— back to the great— the Greg Gard has done a really good job the last few years of getting incredible talent in the transfer portal. Like, Tonje was awesome. Nick Boyd was awesome. I feel bad Nick Boyd goes out this way. He played a lot of years in college basketball. Had some heartbreaking— think about it, he lost San Diego State buzzer beater.

Yeah.

Um, I think they lost to Northwestern, uh, on a buzzer beater, and then this one. So he— yeah, I mean, he had, uh, some pretty heartbreaking losses when it came down to— yeah, they went and played San Diego State, so maybe that's when they lost to Northwestern. I can't remember what it was, but, uh, yeah, I feel bad for him. But yeah, he's— the, the coaching staff has proven that they can find talent given the fact that we're never going to be the top spender in NIL. Any questions from the booth? Memes, how'd the numbers do on the memes?

Oh, it banged.

That's one silver lining is I know my boy Memes is going to—

he's firing.

He's firing and he's hitting all his quotas.

Memes, did you have them ready ahead of time?

No, because I didn't. It was one of those I didn't really believe it was happening.

Yeah.

And then it started happening. See, I—

were you happy?

The layup, the— hasn't hit a 2-point shot.

Yeah. Crazy.

Since February.

I was like, oh, February, whatever. It's like, no, February of last year.

He— memes. I was— I mean, I think Stanford Steve, I think I talked about how I feel confident. And then in Fyre Fest, we— I was like, I— and we taped Fyre Fest at 10 a.m. I was ominously like, we don't know what the real Fyre Fest— this is the real Fyre Fest. But Memes, I didn't think it was going to happen until that Chase Johnson logo 3. Then I was like, yeah, that's— this is— this is going to happen. I just— I just kept on muttering to myself. I was like, this is a problem. We're going to lose this game. And then Wisconsin started playing really fast, matching their pace. Yeah, that hurt them also. Yeah. And I didn't take enough 3s. We took 23 3s. We're a team that shoots 30+ 3s a game. We just didn't take enough 3s.

Memes, how excited were you to deploy the Aaron Rodgers wearing a Wisconsin uniform carrying the American flag meme?

That's like everything to you right there. That—

what that was, it was just a picture inside, like, it's memes' brainstem, like the lizard part of your unevolved brain. That's, that's all you were thinking. Jets, Jets suck. Wisconsin sucks.

I actually had one of High Point made because to start the game, I almost tweeted out then. What, Max, did you have a question? Yeah. That was like a sultry— that was a sultry late night, like, disk jockey.

This is a selfish one. Like, how, how hard are you rooting against Villanova tomorrow?

Not—

we both know in the first—

no, because you're playing on Friday. By Sunday it will not matter.

That's a good point.

If you were playing today, I would have been rooting hard against you. Okay, I'm being honest.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tomorrow I actually kind of want you to win because it doesn't matter, you know what I mean? Like, actually I do want you to win tomorrow so that way you could lose on Sunday before we tape.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

But they're 100%.

Yeah.

I mean, if they win tomorrow, I'm looking at a successful tournament.

Oh, yeah.

Season.

Yeah.

I have zero expectations of beating Arizona.

No. And that's the thing. Like, if we had—

it's loser talk.

No, but if Wisconsin— yeah, if Wisconsin had gone to the Sweet 16 and lost to Arizona, I would not be as upset. I'd be like, that was a great season, great run. You just got to know there's levels to everything. Losing to High Point is a disaster of a season, right? Yeah. Yeah.

PFT commenter here. Is this the worst 12-5 loss that Wisconsin's had in recent memory?

Yeah, I'd say so.

Okay.

Yeah, probably the most talented team. I mean, we were— we were— the JMU one was not— we were not as good. We were good this year. We beat a lot of really good teams. So yeah, this sucked. And Nick Boyd was a monster. So yeah, this one sucked. We also lost another one a few years ago. Who do we lose to? I think it was— oh fuck, I can't even remember. See, these losses are just piling up at this point that it doesn't even— yeah, it doesn't even hurt. So we did lose to another 12 seed. I can't remember. Can you find it for me? It's like 3 years ago. Thanks. First time Hank's ever fucking locked in on research. They lost.

That's just rude.

Let's see. Also true.

You lost to BYU, who is—

BYU was the second round. Yeah. Last year. That was that. Remember how brutal that was? We came all the way back.

Yeah.

And lost that game. Iowa State was an 11 seed. Maybe that's what I was thinking of. Iowa State was 11 seed. That was Oregon. Oregon.

Yeah.

Oregon. That was fun. Oregon is a 12. That was really fun. Everyone saw that one coming. For like, for real. Okay. I listen. If the one— are we done with questions? Any other questions? Oh, yes. Zach, please.

I've just got more. So a piece of information for what it's worth. A gentleman did get in contact with me, Big Cat. His fiancée graduated from High Point. She said— he said that she did drive the ice cream truck for a short period of time because they couldn't find anyone to drive it. So they're not getting maybe as much ice cream at High Point.

I love that.

People first thought.

So they don't—

they actually don't respect ice cream.

No, it's kind of like it's a hobby for them. It's not really like—

it's not a lifestyle. Fuck them.

But on the other hand, that means that there's an ice cream truck that's on campus that has nobody looking after it, and you can just volunteer and they will give you the ice cream truck for a day.

Also true.

That fucking— that rocks. It's not a real school.

And shout out our friend Kelly Keegs, who went to High Point. Kelly Keegs and Henry Lockwood, they're 1-0 on the college basketball season when watching their teams.

Yeah, pretty incredible.

Duke did beat Santa Pretty incredible. So it's fucking huge.

I do. It sounds like you're being a little salty to Kelly. I just want to say—

oh, no, I just want to say that I respect Kelly.

I don't care at all.

I was being salty to you. I was not being salty to Kelly.

I'm worried about me.

I don't understand.

Don't put that curse on me that you just put on Big Cat. No, I'm one of the good ones, Kelly.

I have done nothing to troll you, actually.

I, I, that was 100% salt to Hank, not to Kelly, which is just unnecessary and, and says a lot. You existing.

Oh, I was rooting for Duke to lose so bad today.

Yeah, so that, that was all right. So the other, we'll talk Duke-Siena. The other one that at least should probably, uh, be at the front of the show is UNC blowing the biggest lead in first round history to VCU, including them tweeting in with like 10 minutes left, up by 19. And I— Hubert Davis probably needs to be fired.

I would say so. I don't think they're going to fire him. I think he's under contract till 2030 and they don't want to. But if you— if you choke that away, that was— that was terrible. That was as bad a mismanagement of a second half as you'll ever see. Like, you're supposed to be North Carolina.

They were—

you have to have more pride than that, North Carolina. You got to get rid of this guy.

Yeah, they were just completely discombobulated towards the end of the game where they just ran. They were just turning. I think there was a stretch where they had 3 turnovers in 5 possessions, couldn't do anything, couldn't run offense, couldn't rebound. They blew it. Absolutely blew it. Credit to VCU though. VCU is one of those teams I think just as a program where they don't care about being down in a game where they'll just keep like coming at you no matter what. And they proved it. They were just tougher. Than UNC down the stretch, including in overtime.

They're a very, very well-coached team. Yeah, that was— yeah, it was impressive of them to not quit on it. But man, that's as bad as it can get for UNC. Yeah, you do have to move on. This is— that could be like a— it should be a long-term good thing for your school that this happened because you need to move on. It should inspire you to move on. If you don't, it will bury you.

Yes.

There's no coming like Hubert's not going to magically come back next year and be a good coach.

No, no. And, uh, yeah, that one was shocking. The Duke-Siena game was pretty crazy. Hank, were you nervous during it? There was a moment where Siena was— they started out so hot, won the first half convincingly, and then it was just kind of a hang on, can they hang on. And I think there was a sequence where they missed the 3 and then Duke had a dunk.

It's like, oh no, it was, um, it was 2 missed dunks.

Yeah, that's right.

So they fed their big man the low post, turned around, bricked the dunk, and then their own guy got the offensive rebound. And then had— he tried to dunk over 3 guys. It was a pretty tough shot to pull off, but he also bricked the dunk. And then they just take it the other way and score. And it felt like at that point, that was the momentum shift. And it was also— it wasn't just momentum. It was the fact that Siena did not play any subs. Yeah, the entire game.

Yeah.

So they were able to play really, really well in the first half. They hit all their threes. Then as the second half went further on and Duke was— they settled into that zone really nicely that Sienna couldn't really completely figure out how to crack. And then also the legs started to go where everything started to hit off the front iron for Sienna. And then by the end of the game, they just couldn't move. No, they just couldn't run it. Like when I say they played the entire game, Sienna's 5 starters played literally the entire game. There was one guy, one guy in with 10 seconds left. Yeah. At the end of it, when it was out of hand, out of hand. But yeah, their, their starters were up 11 points at halftime against Duke. And yeah, I mean, credit to them. They played awesome. Jerry McNamara, great job coaching that team.

John Shire said that. He's like, Jerry McNamara outcoached me today.

Did you see he might have been doing like a little rope-a-dope? So Jerry McNamara showed up for practice the other day and he had one of those knee scooters to like keep weight off of his foot. Okay. And he was like pretty cagey about it. And then today he just walks out there on two feet, no problem, running up and down the sideline. Yeah, well, Sun Tzu, Art of War.

I need to know more about their roster and like what part of Jerry McNamara, as good a coaching job as he did, how is he not able to coach his reserves up enough to be able to come in and play for like 2 minutes?

All right. So it was 3 injuries and 1 guy ineligible. So that's 4 right there. That you could just throw out. So I think there was a— I think it was not— I don't think it was by design. They would ideally not want to just play 5 guys the entire time. Yeah.

No, of course.

More circumstances.

Yeah.

It's just—

it was wild. That's kind of when I was— it was a little uneasy. I was like, this feels like it's like happening. But they ran out of gas. And after the 2 dunks, it was like they just couldn't— they couldn't rebound and they couldn't jump. Their center was completely gassed. He was just getting thrown around in the post.

Duke's huge.

So that's, that's when I was like, all right, thank God they don't have any— literally, if they had 1 or 2 reserves that could give any meaningful minutes, like, it might have been a different game.

Are you nervous at all about Duke? They didn't look good.

Should be.

They haven't looked great.

That happens though. There's a lot of times you can talk about a national champion where they're losing in the 1 versus 16 and they go on and then they run through the tournament.

No 1 seed has ever trail the 16 seed by double digits at halftime.

But they go down.

I mean, I guess not double digits at halftime, but it's also the way they played. I mean, they weren't convincing in the— in the ACC tournament. They didn't—

they won.

I understand. But they haven't covered a spread in like— I think it was like 5 or 6 games.

No, it's not. You know, it's March Madness, right? But they—

I mean, they were— they won by like 1 point against Florida State. What are you going to say, Max?

March— March gambling and March Madness. It is March gambling.

I mean, it is the teams. Not if you're—

if you've been watching Duke down the stretch, they have not looked the same.

Well, yeah, they have injuries, right?

I know. So that's why I'm asking, are you concerned about them? Because they have not looked the same, and this was more of not looking the same.

Yes. I mean, obviously, like, concerned, but you got to just, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

It's not called March.

It's not called March.

It's called March Madness.

Yeah.

You can just say that about anything.

What?

He's right.

Yeah, right. There was a very interesting interview that Tracy Wolfson did at halftime with Malik Brown. Did you see that, Hank?

I did not.

So halftime, they talked to him and he just goes, we thought it was going to be a cakewalk going into this game. So now we know what it is. So we just have to respond back. Like John Shire did not have the boys ready.

No, no, really not. Yeah. But that's again, like, you got to just hope And it could not be. They could, you know, they could just be a bad team now. But you just got to hope that that was a wake-up call they needed.

Yeah. It's not March gambling.

Not for them.

Correct.

Well, hopefully not for them. That would be quite a scandal.

Yeah.

And I would get to the bottom of that very quickly.

I was very impressed with Seattle, though.

Yeah.

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For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Limited time offer. Max, are we doing a parlay for Friday? Does—

I wasn't told.

We were 2 for 3, which you can't win a parlay. That PFT was your—

was your bet Michigan State?

That hit.

Yeah.

Mine was Houston first half.

That hit.

Good hit.

And what was the last good hit? Was the last one?

I forget. I mean, I probably lost.

So what was your leg? What was your leg?

My pick was Arkansas.

Arkansas. What?

Arkansas team total over 7.5.

They scored 97 points. So you took the over?

No, I think it was under.

Ah, it's not called March gambling.

If you want to blame anyone, it's Hank.

You can blame— it's not March gambling, Hank.

Yeah. Uh, Max is on the phone. Yes, we have it.

Okay, we have one for tomorrow.

Hank, I think—

no, I think Matt— I think you do too, Big Cat.

No, I would rather not.

You are March gambling.

No, I'm not March gambling.

But you just— you won.

You just—

well, yeah, I won one Well, no, I lost because the parlay lost. True. We lost.

We're a team. Yeah.

Yeah. We don't point fingers around here. We lost as a team. All right.

You want to bounce back?

Yeah, let's go. Let's bounce back.

All right.

You go first.

No, you go first. All right.

Give me Villanova plus 1.5.

Okay.

You're—

that's, that's deflection.

It's my fault. It's a good call. It's a good call. Why does anyone hate me?

I want to win and I want my boys to win.

I'm not as a friend.

Why does people hate me? Oh, so, all right, see, this is what I don't understand. This is an existing situation. If I picked Utah State, I'm a troll. If I pick Villanova, I'm a troll. I cannot exist.

There's 16—

I like Villanova. I like this team. I've heard a lot about them.

Uh, uh, uh, if we beat Utah State, that's a winning season. Is Villanova your pick?

Yes.

Okay, I'll take— with, with my boys Memes and Zach, we'll take UCF +5.5.

Oh, that's a troll pick. You just want to blame— you just want to blame—

no, we're That's our team. That's our Bracket Busters team.

Me and Max's team.

What?

I'm just using the logic that was just used against me.

That's not even close to the—

I'm so lost.

Zach picked UCF. Memes talk about how he didn't want to pick UCF.

We have jumpsuits. We're in on UCF.

I know, but memes that you guys have already talked about how Zach choked that pick and you guys didn't actually want to make it.

Well, he picked—

we're not there yet.

He picked them to win. I just picked them against spread. So it's my pick. And we have bobby pins now. Yeah, my pick is totally different than Zach's.

Got it.

Shout out to that team pick.

I'm happy that you're, that you're ready to ride, but you better—

we're riding with our boys.

Yeah, I want to straight— I want to straight—

close to the same situation.

Yeah, it is.

Visa, Visa, Visa, let's go!

Bring me some—

it won't fit you.

PFC, I'm gonna take, uh, Tennessee, the Tennessee Volunteers, 11.5.

All right, so you can bet—

what's that spread?

11.5 on DraftKings.

Um, all right, two more games. Congratulations to Nebraska basketball, they have won a game in the tournament. That was awesome. They kicked the shit out of Troy. Like, not even close. Just an absolute demolition to the point where Troy head coach Scott Cross said after the game, I would like to thank the good Lord for the opportunity to just have your guts absolutely ripped out.

That's how you know you're alive. That's a great spin zone.

Yeah.

It's like I felt something today. I felt real, real anguish. And you don't get that unless you've done something great to get yourself to that point.

Yeah.

That's an awesome spin zone. I got, I got to tip my cap to him because there's really nothing that happened today that was any good for him at all. No, there was never a moment in this game really that felt like it was going to be close. Maybe the first minute, maybe the first 30 minutes.

Like, no, I think they were up like 9 to 6 or something. But Nebraska, the crowd was electric. Yeah, the team was electric. And yeah, they get their first win in program history. That's an awesome feeling. And now they're— the big goal is, you know, get to the Sweet 16.

And congrats to all the students who are going to be drinking on John Rothstein's tab.

Yes.

At some point.

Yes.

You know what? I'll match. OK. Do you want to match?

Not right now. You can't match. I'm not feeling great. Yeah.

That's not a good match.

Yeah.

No, I'm just happy for him. I'm happy for Nebraska too. I did not realize— maybe we'd heard it before on this show, but I didn't realize that Fred Hoiberg's grandfather was Jerry Bush. And he coached Nebraska when they beat Kansas in 1958.

Oh, wow.

Did not know that. When Wilt Chamberlain was on campus.

That's pretty cool.

That's a pretty cool story.

That's pretty cool. We also had to start the day Ohio State go down huge and TCU hold on. Jamie Dixon has now 3 tournament wins since he went to TCU and Pitt has 3 winning seasons. In the 10 years that he's been at TCU. Also credit to Ohio State and Jake Taebler for the worst final play of all time.

It's really bad.

They had like 4.5 seconds and they ended up with a Bruce Thornton half-court shot. Yeah, I don't understand how that—

it was the slowest bring up of all time. There was absolutely no urgency behind it all. I don't think anybody set a screen. I might be wrong about it. We've watched a lot of basketball.

We watched a ton of basketball.

But I just remember that play took about it felt like it took the entire 4 seconds to get the ball to half court. Yeah, really bad last possession. It also would have been a terrible last possession for VCU if UNC had hit that 3 at the buzzer. Yes, in regulation with the steal, with a steal, and really fucked that one up. That would have been way worse. But, um, yeah, tough break for Ohio State.

We also had, uh, RIP Amir Khan. I think it's officially done. McNeese State lost to Vanderbilt, so that had a hell of a run, 2-year run. I don't think he has eligibility left.

No.

So that will be over. That was— Vanderbilt was kind of— they were, they were, they went back and forth. They went down a bunch to start. You're like, uh-oh, McNeese State's looking really live. Then they were up huge, Vanderbilt, and then they let them back in, but McNeese just didn't score for the last like 6 minutes of the game. And, uh, they, they continue. Michigan State, easy winner. Arizona's ready to go.

Very easy winner. The defense looked alive today.

Yep. That was a wire-to-wire winner. Same with Arkansas. That was a wire-to-wire winner. Cal was smiling after the game. He's got— he was shaking hands, laughing. Yeah, he's feeling it.

He's definitely feeling it. The team's feeling it too.

Yeah.

They were doing like a bunch of unnecessary lobs. That's how you know that a team's feeling it in March.

Yep.

And the game was over and they were like, fuck it, let's just try to get like 3 more alley-oops before Cal gets us out of the game. Yeah.

And then we had, uh, in the night slate, we had AJ Dubonca try to basically will BYU to a victory himself with 35 points. He was awesome. Texas was just better. Texas is the team we talked about, team that, that wins the, the first 4-game and could potentially go to the Sweet 16. So they, they win there. That's their second win, and they looked, uh, they looked good. They— the game started out so hot, slowed down a little, but Texas, they're big. The big guy in Texas cannot hit a free throw, but he, he, it felt like he did everything else.

Vokie Taitis. He was, I don't know how you pronounce it, pronounce the guy's name, but he looks like a big stretched out Joe Burrow.

How, what was his, was he 3 for 9? I think from, it was crazy because he was awesome today. He was 23 and 16. Every time you looked up, it was the action was running through him. He was getting putbacks. He was getting rebounds. But if BYU had had any type of like 3-point shooting miracle in them, Voki Tyaitis did everything to let them stay in the game because he would just keep going to the line and keep missing the front end of a 1-and-1.

Hack of Voki Tyaitis. Yeah, that's the strategy that the next team's going to employ. He was— yeah, even when he was taking it to the hole, he was missing a lot of his shots short and then just tipping him in because nobody was boxing him out on him. Yeah, but he had an awesome game. He was their offense for the second half.

And BYU shot 4 for 22 from 3. That's where you miss Saunders. And now AJ Devontae is going to the draft. Although remember, he did say that he's considering potentially staying at school. Yeah, he was the same thing as me saying, like, I'm considering not having ice cream today.

He might be waiting for 1 or 2 checks to clear. Yeah. Before he makes his final announcement.

Remember when Cooper Flagg said that? Yeah. And everyone's like, oh, maybe he will stay.

But like, he might be on some sort of installment plan where the last deposit hits like April 1st.

Yeah.

So he doesn't want to say anything until that's already in there. This is— they spent a shitload of money on DiBonsa. Oh, yeah. $8 million. Is that what they reported, Max?

And it does suck because once Saunders went down, their team kind of fell off a cliff. And it— yeah, I mean, I guess if you have the money, spend it. It was cool to watch him play, but that's between $4 and $7 million. But BYU definitely is in the category of disappointing season.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, if you, if you spend that much money on a player, you expect it to last a little bit longer than that first weekend.

Yeah. I have two teams. If our darling Jake is actually listening, maybe he can put these in his reminder because he said he ran— he actually said that he ran out of reminders. He's all out of reminders.

Like he's like, there's too much memory used on his phone.

We've reached like all reminders expired. He has no new ones.

Okay. Okay.

That can't be true. Oh, because there's yearly reminder, remember?

Okay. Yeah. So he needs to put these in. Never bet on St. Mary's again in the tournament. Never bet on Georgia. Yes.

Yeah. Georgia banned.

St. Mary's, Bucky Ball fucked them up so bad. Texas A&M. I got trolled by Texas A&M because I trolled them about the 4th place in the SEC. They came back over the top. That's fine. I deserve it. They looked awesome. And then Georgia, this is the second year in a row. I can't remember. Can you find the final score last year when they played Gonzaga? Because I vaguely remember that being an absolute ass-kicking. But Georgia— St. Louis just did whatever they wanted to Georgia.

Yeah, it didn't look— it looked like Georgia didn't practice playing basketball for the last two weeks. Like, the offense was not an offense. They would turn the ball over at midcourt. They didn't play anything resembling defense either. It was— it was ugly, right? So ugly.

And St. Louis runs like a very complex, like unique offense, and they just didn't have any plan for it. What did they lose last year to Gonzaga? Yeah, 89 to 68. So that's back-to-back seasons in the tournament where they lost by 30 or close to 30. And then tonight they lost by close to 30.

This one was so bad. It was, it was never close.

Robbie Avila was awesome.

Since 2002, they've lost 5. They've lost 5 in a row in the first round.

Damn. I want to—

Robbie Villa needs to see a doctor, though. I'm worried about the giant bruises he has on his arms.

He's just banging.

Yeah, it's like— it looks like he got into a car accident on the way to the arena. Yeah, I hope he's okay.

He's banging down low. Houston, easy winner. Yep. Wire to wire. They're just so much that Houston— actually, that's another reminder. Just bet Houston first round every year. Yeah. They always go up against a team that is just no, nowhere near what Houston wants to do.

It didn't look like these were two college teams playing. No, it looked like one team was like high schoolers and the other team was a group of 35-year-olds that are really pissed off but still play every weekend at an open gym together and want to scrimmage the local high school team.

Yeah.

And, and that's what Houston does. They are just— they, they play like grown men. Like grown adults and they play pissed off and angry and physically. And I love watching it.

Yeah. And then Illinois, the most ethical team in the tournament. We talked about it on Wednesday. They do not foul and they do not steal the ball. That was another wire-to-wire winner where they— if you're an Illinois fan, that's, that's the Illinois. I know it's Penn and a lot of their team was sick, but doesn't matter. It's still a tournament game. Anyone could beat anyone. That's the Illinois, though. That's like, that's a deep run Illinois. They play like that. They were very, very good.

And also, if Jake's listening, do not bet on any under in a Hawaii game.

Yeah, that's another one we should put.

Yeah.

Yeah.

OK. Any other— what? I agree. Yeah.

I have a question for Hank.

Listen, we win and lose as a team, dude.

Eric Henry, when it comes to Duke basketball, you've watched a lot of their games. Are we sure that Cameron Boozer is really that great?

Yeah, he's a big boy.

Yeah, well, that's not the question. Yeah, I know he's a big boy.

You got to perform in the tournament. This is his first year in it. If he's going to be considered great, I think he's got to perform well in, in the tournament, and he did today.

He did not look that great for the most of the game.

What are you, 32 minutes, 23 points, nine rebounds. It's a pretty.

Oh, if we're gonna read box scores, we're gonna be a box score watcher. That's fine. But if you're a. or in a ball— what if you watched him play? He did not look that great at all today, and he hasn't looked that dominant. Like, there are parts of his game when I watch him play, I keep waiting for him to be, um, like, explosive in some way, and I, I don't see that much explosiveness from him. Against Siena, he didn't look explosive.

See, it was a good team, well coached. They had a good— they had a good game plan.

Okay.

So you're not worried at all?

No.

Okay.

Any thoughts about— any other thoughts about the tournament today? The USF-Louisville, that was a miraculous cover, but Louisville looked good. They kind of controlled that game from start to finish. I don't think there was any other, like, big— the basketball's, like, overinflated. I don't think it was that big of a deal. No, I think we went about 7, I think it was like maybe 7 and 9 over-unders. So not like years past where it looked like every single game sucked. Oh, Miami of Ohio Wednesday night. That was awesome. That was fucking awesome. Congrats, Miami of Ohio. That was another one where they were just flat out better than SMU.

They were chucking.

That was not a fluke. That was not a crazy Cinderella type story. They were the better basketball team. And I'm excited to watch them play on Friday.

The crowd was awesome.

Yeah.

The swimming team.

Yep.

Getting down there. There to distract. I've never seen a team chuck as many threes as Miami of Ohio does. It's just all threes. All the— they don't give a shit if they airball by 10 feet on a 3-pointer. Next one's going in. They just don't stop shooting. Yes, Hank.

I have a question for you.

Henry. Henry Lockwood.

Uh, your NBA team, one of the biggest perennial losers of all time.

Yeah.

Basically relegated. Unfortunately, it's not a situation—

they don't do that in the NBA.

They lose by 40 every single night.

Yeah.

They have star players who don't even play.

They also injured—

paid by—

they also injured the star.

It's It's a joke.

So you're thanking the team for knocking Cade Cunningham out?

Always in the lottery, never do anything with it. But you'll be in the lottery again this year. Yeah. Let's say you get the number 3 pick. So you're not getting AJ, you're not getting Acuff.

Yeah. Yeah.

Who would you want to take third?

Oh, so you have Acuff. It's interesting. Why?

I know it's one of the only other guys you know. So I'm assuming you would have said him. So who would you want to take third?

So you have Acuff over Cameron Boozer?

I'm just saying, I know why you— I wasn't going with it.

Probably Jaren Peterson.

Darin Peterson's a winner.

I would probably take Darin Peterson.

You think he's a bigger winner than Boozer based off of his play this season from all the games you've watched of him?

I never referred to, to Cameron Boozer as not being a winner. I said, are we sure that he's that great of a player?

Got it.

Because I was questioning some of his explosiveness.

So you take Darin Peterson?

Yeah, I'd be very happy.

What if Darin Peterson is not there?

Then I take Boozer, I guess, because you got to— you have to bank on traits. So his dad was a very—

is a number. So the question is, are you worried about him not being that good of a player? He's— you would take him number 3 in the NBA draft. That's pretty good.

Well, I think the thing is, like, when you look at his dad, his dad was a very good player. His dad was not like a dominant— he was never like one of the top 5 players in the league, maybe not top 10 players in the league either. But he was just a solid player for a long time.

So he was, he was, he was a walking 20-10.

Yeah. You know that you're going to get a very, a very good player. And I would be very happy with guaranteeing a very good player because the Washington Wizards, as you know, have gone a long way to, to reshape the image of that roster. So they should be competing.

Good question, though.

Yes, it's a really good question.

Any other questions?

That's it for me.

OK, that's it from the man from the couch.

You want me to name other college basketball players?

I would make you happy. Who would you rather pick? No, I was just asking you a hypothetical question.

I want Acuff.

Yeah, he could be sick.

He might be there, but I want Acuff. Fucking love Acuff. Any other thoughts? Oh, Zach, do you have any thoughts about the tournament? You were in the— you're in the cave all day or the other cave. I'd like to see you in the regular cave tomorrow for a little bit. Bit, just to pick me up. Okay, for UCF, definitely.

I think, I think we suit up, definitely going to get the win tomorrow. It would be nice, it would be good to see. I would like to see that. Uh, Kate, or I don't know why, I just like, my brain deleted there. I'm really trying to work on that. That's on me, guys. I like to apologize to everybody, airwaves I'm in as well, for that. Uh, yeah, the tournament was good. It was a lot of fun to watch. It does get a little overwhelming, so many screens going at the same time. We got so many games going.

So many.

Uh, the energy in the room, big spikes, big up, big, like, big ups, big downs. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Mm-hmm. Agreed.

It's gonna be a great time.

Tomorrow's gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna have a great time. And then on Sunday, we will recap everything we watched. And yeah, so if you're, if you're listening right now, Stanford Steve's gonna give us some winners. So let's kick it to Stanford Steve.

Hank, I actually had one more question. Oh, Hank, just curious to know, you've watched a lot of basketball. How important is knowing horoscopes and astrology? Where would you put that?

Not high.

Not high on the list.

Okay.

That's just interesting.

Why?

Well, because Jaylen Brown spends all of his time learning his teammates' horoscopes and astrology in order to communicate with them better. Oh, I thought it was a fascinating story. He said, I learned communication styles that work best for each individual. And started utilizing that when I speak to each and every guy because of their astrology and numerology.

I like that. Okay. I mean, Jaylen Brown's a smarter guy than me. I'll put my hand up and admit that. Like, if he's— that's something I might have to look into.

I actually—

I'm open to it.

I think that this— it actually does not do any favors for the Jaylen Brown has more aura than Jayson Tatum argument. Like, this is good for that.

Mm-hmm.

Sure.

Yeah.

All right. Let's kick it to Stanford Steve. Okay. Before we get to our good friend Stanford Steve, Chevy football season might be over. You know how it goes. The minute the big game ends, we're already talking about what's next. Free agency, the draft, who's getting paid, who's grinding, because for football guys, there's no offseason. And that's exactly why they roll with the Chevy Silverado. Silverado is the truck that shows up every time, built to haul. Tow and take a beating, but smart where it counts with modern tech that makes life easier. Big screens available, camera views that help with towing and parking, and a cabin that feels right whether you're road tripping, heading to practice, or loading up for the weekend. During the season, it's the MVP of the tailgate. After the season, it turns into your training camp truck, hauling gear, tackling home projects, and doing the work that never stops because the grind doesn't take breaks and neither does Silverado. Check out the current offer and buy your own Chevy Silverado at chevy.com. Go get it today. The best truck in the world. We're also brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea.

We love Twisted Tea here. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. Twisted Tea is the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day and all season long. Whether you're hanging out at a friend's house, catching a game at the stadium or at the bar, or day drinking with friends, Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today and go get them. Listen, watching— let's see, Northern Iowa was, you know, remember their big upset? I was at the bars at Joe's on Weed. That's a Twisted Tea moment. Half and half, peach, original. There's Twisted Tea moments all over the place. Go get a Twisted Tea today. Okay, here we go. Stanford Steve. Okay, we now welcome on our Dude of the Year. Very, very, very special guest. It is Stanford Steve. Steve, we're going to go through the Friday slate. So we're going to pretend like we're taping this on Wednesday. We're obviously going to pretend this is tradition with you, you and Snooki on the show. We're going to, we're going to pretend that we, you know, Thursday's already happened.

But let's start with this. What did you think when we nominated you Dude of the Year, which I think now has to be a Takey award that we'll give you?

Love it. Uh, I just am looking still for me and Snooki in the reel for the book for the 10-year. And Snooki and I still, uh, maybe it's on the 20-year, uh, celebration or anniversary, but, uh, we're still striving to get there. We know, we know we have room, uh, to, to rise, and it's a hell of a list that did make the list in the reel and the book. Yeah. Uh, so we'll, we'll, we're still striving. I appreciate the the opportunity to come back on with you guys.

Better Pardon My Take episode pairing: Stanford Stevens-Snooke or Stu Feiner and Ja Morant? We do— we actually put out both of those shows.

Did we also— am I making this up, or did we also have Paige Sporanic and Mr. Portnoy?

Maybe.

Dave's dad.

Yes. Uh, was this pre-needle, Stu?

Stu. Stu has fought Ozempic. He fights Ozempic. He's beaten Ozempic many times.

Wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror.

Yeah.

And he's just got another battle. It's one battle after another for Stu.

He's coming out.

He does fluctuate. And when he's at his thinnest, he actually looks really, really good. But when he's at his heaviest, he looks— it looks like it's a prosthetic stomach that he's wearing.

He's— those— I still think back to like when you guys were going out to the house and the videos and then him with the mulch. Like, yeah, those are all-timers. Like, you think like what people were in and battling COVID, the whole thing, and he's out there just screaming his head off.

He's the best.

And that's what we, that's what we went to for fun. Yeah, back in those times. But yeah, he is an absolute legend for sure.

Okay, let's talk about it. I want to start with your teams that can win it all. Okay, your list. I love your list every single year. I think you're trolling this year, but I want to hear you out because I— all right, I'll say I thought you were trolling a month ago when I saw your list. I don't know if it's changed and you've stopped trolling, but I want to see your list.

There is no trolling. Uh, I, as you know, I'm a Duke fan.

Yes.

And your spin zones you have attempted this year are getting to be ridiculous.

Whoa, whoa, are we— we're both not trolling.

I am not trolling.

I'm not trolling.

You totally are.

Okay, continue. Okay, continue.

Uh, so the first list comes out, uh, day after Valentine's Day every year, and Duke was not on that list. And they proceeded to win every game. That included the game against Michigan, Virginia, Clemson, North Carolina, then the ACC tournament. Uh, so they, they, they went on the list before the ACC tournament with the injuries. I took them off the list. They are currently off the list and will not be on the list, and I do not see Duke winning the national title.

That's insane.

Is that because of injuries?

Yes, I, I really think the depth is gonna, is gonna really hurt them, uh, when you look at this region alone. On top of that, uh, I, I just don't see the path, uh, the lack of depth. Gongba, if he's back, he's not going to be 100%. And look at those teams. I know people are saying, oh, it's just name brand, the whole deal, but the, the, the guards that they're gonna have to go to with Caleb Foster down, who's their best on-ball defender And now, I mean, Lil Boozer was great in the ACC tournament, and, and the confidence that he got from that is huge. But to be able to go up against— I, I still think they have the toughest 8-9 game there is of anyone. Uh, TCU and Ohio State are, are really good teams and playing their best ball of the year, which is another thing I look at. Uh, and then you have that 4-5 of Kansas, St. John's. Uh, that, that's a, that's a bear because Kansas is gonna travel, um, if it's them and St. John's, is a train right away because that game's going to be in DC.

And then I, I get it, you don't have to play all the teams on the bottom, but most likely you're looking at, uh, Izzo and Hurley, who I look at those teams and how they're built, and I think about this a lot for teams, they got to get out of their conference. Like, they are just so beat up. You can't agree with every bullseye, uh, in the Big East, and this is the worst Big East we've ever seen in my lifetime. Them, uh, and I absolutely hate the committee for doing what they did and putting St. John's and UConn in the same region. There's 3 Big East teams in the, in the whole thing, and they put the best 2 in the same region. That's just stupid to me, and it seems lazy, and I, I don't like it. I don't— the tournament is not for rematches. Final Four, sure. Elite Eight, maybe. Okay, not Sweet 16. I love that.

Um, I love that take. That's, that's a great way to put it. It's not for rematches. It's a standalone thing.

Well, they can't, they can't meet until the Elite Eight, and also Duke's gonna be there, not St. John's.

Stop. Okay, just stop with your nonsense. Okay, uh, but just the idea, like, how many brackets— like, obviously St. John's won the Big East tournament, they're everybody's favorite now. UConn is still a team that I have coming out of the region, uh, and it's, it's a likely thing that could happen. That you're gonna— I'm dying to see what these point spreads are. As you saw with Duke in the, in the ACC tournament, I mean, that, that Florida State line was insane. Yeah, I think it was 17.5, then it goes down, they cover against Clemson who can't score, and then they don't cover against Virginia. So those lines are coming down. I think people are catching on. So even that second round game against Ohio State or TCU, whatever it is, it's— I, I see single digits, and it's only gonna get smaller, uh, moving in there. So Duke is not on the list.

Wait, hold on, hold on. Before— let's just—

before—

let's put a bow on Duke because you think they're not— they're not even on the list. I think they're guaranteed gonna win the national title. If they do win the national title, I want you to say right now that you're coming to Max's bachelor party?

If Duke wins the national title, I will come to Max's bachelor party.

Okay. Okay.

All right.

I do think it was actually very smart what the committee did with Duke because they took the one team that nobody would give a shit about if they put them in the hardest bracket, if they, if they did them dirty with the seeding and they gave them all the hardest teams, uh, 2 through 5. To play against. So if you're going to screw over one team, I do think that Duke is the correct one to screw over.

Yeah. Yeah. I know who you sit next to every day, too.

So I know where that— I lost it. I lost to Duke, too, in the tournament.

All right.

Yeah, I understand.

They're an enemy.

Yeah. All right.

So that was so house money.

No, I listen to Duke's— that was our year. That was our year. Duke versus Duke. Also, if Duke loses this year, like, that's a, that's a really bad back-to-back run of losing with teams that should win. You can make the argument that this team should win more so than last year's team. Yeah, because John Shire is a year older. Yeah, you're wiser. Yeah, he understands the landscape more. He knows how to manage the tournament.

Like, oh, he's a girl dad, that's why his superpower—

you want to see coaches getting better, not getting worse.

Yeah, most, most shocking sports story of our lifetime if Duke doesn't win it all this year. Stop. And then when they do win it all, we get Steve at the bachelor party.

I can't—

yes, and I can't— you're an ACC guy through and through. Stanford. You're a Sunbelt.

Uh, how about that though? Have you guys— I mean, that 10-year window of JMU, PFT, Signetti, and I know that's what I was talking about.

Pretty nuts.

Wow, what a great era that we had. And like, I knew that we had excellent coaches. I didn't know that Signetti was going to go on to be the best coach who ever coached college football. And I didn't know that Byington was going to be this impactful at Vandy. But yeah, I mean, it's what I always say. If you're going to be a stepping stone, be the best stepping stone. I think that's JMU.

It's a good point.

Billy Madison's there now. So yeah, good. All right.

Yeah.

Billy Madison.

Yeah.

Rest of the list.

All right. The list contains Arizona.

Yep.

Michigan.

Yep.

Houston.

Okay.

UConn.

Oh, is that— is that— is UConn— because I actually agree with the whole they got to get out of the Big East because of what the actions Dan Hurley runs their offense has so much, so much complexity to it that it— they need to get out of there. But I still just don't know if they have that, that gear they need offensively to win it all.

What I love about Hurley and what he brings to the table is they, they play to— I don't want to say the opponent, but the environment. Like, that Big East Championship game was a bloodbath. Like, the first— there wasn't a whistle, uh, until they called— like, they, they're murdering each other underneath, uh, Zoubi and, and Reed, and the first foul they call is a flop on Zoubi when he's trying to defend Reed. Like, and then it's just, it's a free-for-all, right? Uh, there's so much emotion in the building, and you know how Hurley gets. It's just the, the anxiety builds. And I've been critical of him, but he didn't deserve a technical, right? I mean, I mean, the old foot slapping on the floor, that's— I mean, I get it, coaches got better shoes nowadays, but just because it's loud doesn't mean it's bad after we've seen some other things that Hurley has done. So UConn, uh, remains on the list. Illinois is on the list. Kansas is on the list. Iowa State is on the list. Sparty on the list. Wisconsin has been on the list. I know that stays on the list. Yep.

Purdue because of their road, they are back on the list. They were off and now they're tracked. Like, you know, we talked about Duke's road. Like, Purdue I think has the easiest path for a 2 seed. I mean, that bracket on that bottom, there's— I don't see anybody being able to challenge them. I get they play Missouri, uh, a Miami in St. Louis. People have made— I mean, another horrible thing by the committee.

Um, but Hoff comes back for Gonzaga, maybe, but I mean, he's not going to come back.

I mean, How many times— I mean, we're still going through Bosco updates on that one.

Yeah, Bosco's— I mean, Bosco banged us all by getting us all on Gonzaga. I actually got out of it in like December, but yeah, he got the whole world on Gonzaga futures. Yeah, whole world.

Pizza guy or security.

Did you see— did you see this story, PFT? Bosco texted Elio, uh, early in the season to take Gonzaga. Yeah, to win the national title. Elio spent the rest of the year every week like putting a little bit more on Gonzaga, like it's a 401(k). Yeah, then he pulled up, throwing it in, and Elio doesn't watch college basketball.

He pulled up, probably gets paid like employee matching, little nest egg.

Yeah. So he's just, he's like, yeah, like a squirrel just put a couple nuts away. He pulls up a Bosco video, top 10 teams, Gonzaga's not on there. He texts him, he's like, hey, what, what happened here? And Bosco goes, oh, well, one of their best players, uh, got hurt like 2 months ago. He's like, were you ever gonna tell me?

He just never told him.

Yeah, but at the time, at the time, it was a good bet. He jumps along like, like lily pads. Yeah, he just, you know, if one guy loses, one coach is out, he's got another one in the hopper. I think he's, he's represented by like half of the teams in the NCAA tournament this year. Yes.

Can the stream handle a Michigan-Alabama game?

No. Uh, yes. Well, no, it can because, uh, Dave will not be coming for that. Oh, he won't come back for that. Okay. No way. He'll just be— he'll just beat Michigan or he'll beat Alabama from his, his palace in the Keys and enjoy the hell out of it.

I was fortunate enough to sit with you guys for the Alabama-UConn game in Phoenix.

Yeah, that was—

I mean, Alabama was down early. If they ever had a lead late, or so— I can't imagine.

Yeah, yeah. And I'll give Bosco credit, physical activity. He rides and dies with Bama. It's, it's—

they're the Crimson Tide riders.

Yeah, he, he does go hard, so I'm gonna give him credit. Like, he, he watches every game. All right, so anyone else on the list?

Uh, that's it. Uh, Wisconsin is on the list, so I've dropped off, uh, Nebraska because of the trek. Yeah, I love the story, and people said they can't win it, but I would throw at you Indiana won the national championship in football. They were, they were my Indiana this year. Nebraska, you really know what they haven't won? An NCAA tournament. Well, game, we'll see how that works out against Troy. But they were on the list and now are off. Michigan State started off and now they're on. Wisconsin has been there the whole time and Purdue was on, off, and now back on.

All right.

So I believe that's 11.

You have, you have Wisconsin on the list, but no Arkansas. Why is that correct?

Defense. You know, it's funny, we mentioned Alabama. I'm almost at the point where Wisconsin plays a better version of Alabama ball. You know, the whole analytics with 3-point layups. Wisconsin, like, I want to say that— Big Cat, you probably would know this— in 2 games against Michigan, they've made like 31 3s.

It's crazy. I think it might be more. I know we hit—

I think I thought it was 15, and I mean, what, Rapp had 5?

I— yeah, Rapp had 6, I want to say.

31.

I want to say it was— I think we might have hit 17 in Ann Arbor. I'm gonna look it up right now.

Okay.

Uh, but yeah, no, we have the ability. I mean, obviously I'm very bullish on this team because I also— and this could all be for naught because it could be out right now as we're airing this. I think that they're— so we hit 16 when we played them in the Big Ten championship game. And we always have that like in our arsenal of like, yeah, hey, we could do this at any moment. 16. Yeah, 18. I was right. 18. So 16 and 18, whatever that math is.

34.

34. The— yeah, it's fun to watch. And I also think that the losses that we've had have been I don't want to say explainable, but I've, I've kind of seen most of them coming. The only one that really, that really got me was the USC meltdown, uh, at home. But like, yeah, everything else was like— Ohio State was the most classic one. Oregon was like, you're gonna split 1-1 on the West Coast, whether it be Oregon. Everyone does. Like, all these losses. So yeah, I'm very bullish on them. I think they, I think they have it.

I just don't want to—

you know, you go cold for 5 minutes and It's the, it's the worst feeling in the world.

Yeah, it's, uh, but again, their wins— and people say 6 wins, but I've seen them, I'll put their wins against anybody.

Yeah.

And, and that good is about the ceiling you could get to. And you win games, the style of play, and their guards, their guards I love. And going back to your point, PFT, about Arkansas, there's not a lot of interest in playing defense there. Uh, the lack of wanting to bend your knees and play and get in the stand— I love that— which is, which is fine. Uh, couldn't be me, but, but because they're so athletic.

Yeah.

And, and what they've done with Acuff— I mean, Brazil is a guy, feels like he was there, you know, playing for Nolan Richardson. He's been forever. And he started, I think he started at Missouri, um, but he had a great SEC tournament. And Acuff, I look at him and I watch him. He's, he's the best offensive player in the country. And I like, I'll say it like, he's a better college player than Allen Iverson was right now.

Wow, that's— he's got—

that's crazy.

He's got the cutoff tee, he's got that wristband on the left arm, he's got a better build and a better frame, uh, and Iverson was a really good defensive player. Offensively, he's better right now than, than Iverson was as a freshman.

I've heard multiple people say he's the best point guard that Cal has had.

I think he's just crazy.

Iverson, Iverson wasn't a great shooter when he was a freshman, but he was, he was an exceptional ball handler and he could create around the rim.

Yes, I'm saying right now, is it that George— that freshman year at Georgetown, Robertson, Aikens, more advanced offensively. He's a better shooter, as you pointed out. And just athletically, his build, he doesn't get knocked around. I mean, he— his, his build is built for going to the hoop. Uh, you know, he was fine against Ole Miss where they were like, all right guys, we're just gonna outscore him. Yeah, that's fine. And I thought it was a tough matchup against Vanderbilt, and they did the same thing. They made threes, they're athletic, it's hard to get shots off at the rim. Uh, so that style of Wisconsin against them, hopefully we get, uh, would be a fantastic game. Uh, so I, I look at Arkansas as just being more vulnerable.

Yeah, the decision-making too is just so elite. Like, he just makes the perfect pass every time.

His demeanor is great too.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, you know, those interviews after SEC Tournament, him and Cal are walking to the desk and Cal's like, hurry up because I want to go to bed. And, and he walks out and he's like, you did miss another free throw tonight. I think he missed one at the end every game and they got away with it. So The, the way Cal could do that, uh, with, with those young guys and mold that team is really, really cool to see. I just— 6 games playing that style, you're going to be up against it, and you got, you got big-time teams coming at you.

Yeah. Uh, the other team, I think in that same region, yeah, the, uh, Arizona Wildcats. You didn't mention them, did you?

Yeah, they're, they're— yeah, they're number 1.

They're number 1.

Um, and I heard you guys with, uh, Titus talking about a thing, and, uh, Titus didn't have it, and then you guys were given the info. The first thing I write down next to every team on the list is their free throw percentage.

Yep.

And Iowa State is very, very concerning being— I think it's now 338th in the country at free throw shooting. But it's— I thought the percentage would be worse. Like, I thought it was going to be low 60s. It's 67%. Right. Everybody could have their jokes with that one. But you look at teams like Illinois is fantastic, 6th in the country. Wisconsin is 10th. Um, you know, Duke isn't— that's another thing that worries me. They've gotten better. There was a point where they were in the low 250s with UConn. They're up to 191st. There's— I think there's 360, uh, 365. So when you look at that, uh, Iowa State, it takes a hit. Kansas, that helps them, uh, they're 35th in the country. So that's a big factor for me because you have to make your free throws. Look at Florida's run last year.

Yeah.

And what the— between the shots making that Clayton had. I mean, UConn had them, uh, you know, then they took care of Maryland. And then Texas Tech, if they make front ends of 1-1, just the front end, you make one and, and that they don't even go to the Final Four. Uh, so that's a, that's a concern. And, and it's a concern for Florida too, who's also 234. But Arizona sitting at 147th at 73.4%, I, I think that's good enough. What I love about Arizona, PFT, they show up, no one cares who's going to lead, lead them in scoring. Nobody. And I think that really fits, uh, Lloyd. I think when he's had, um, when he's had the, you know, your Mathurin, like, you could tell there was an, there was an angst to get— make sure we get our guy touches. This team, it doesn't matter. And then the other thing that kind of I worry about is Bradley's hand. He hurt his hand against Houston. In that second half, he was a totally different player. Now you had Burries and Del Orso going crazy, but that championship game got tight late and Bradley didn't look the same.

So I'll have my eyes on that early to see what he looks like. All these 1-seeds have questions, whether it's health or depth. So that's one thing, you know, everybody wants, you know, another chalk deal, but that's going to be a deal. Michigan, the case in injuries, enormous. Yeah, they are not close to the same team without him.

Okay, let's talk Friday bets. And by the way, the free throw thing, I couldn't agree. I mean, it really is one of those simple things that we forget. To, to really take into account because it's not even just, you know, you're up 2 and you gotta hit 1, or it's like the difference between when you're up 5 and you hit 2 free throws versus you hit 1, and like, you know, ending a game, making it 3 possessions, like those type of little things where it's like not letting them have a chance to get back in it is so huge with these free throws. And you see it time and time again in the tournament. Okay, Friday, yeah, I throw a couple games that I've been kind of looking at and I'm like, I might want to take take the dog here. Akron, that, that spread I think has come down.

Yeah, I wrote these down when they opened. That's, that was 7.5.

It's 7.5, uh, right now. What was it when it was— oh yeah, it was 7.5.

All right, so it hasn't really opened at 10.5.

Opened at 10.

Are you talking about Akron, Texas Tech?

Yeah, it was, it was 7.5 Sunday night after, yeah, it had settled. But, uh, so Akron's one of them that I'm looking at. And Hofstra, not as a troll, but Aiden Holloway having 7,000 pounds of weed on the week of the tournament. Uh, feels like that might, might change the dynamic of the team a little.

You should be allowed to have a pound of wheat. 2 pounds does feel like you're spiking the football a little bit. It's like, we get it, you like weed.

Alabama doesn't. That state, uh, it's pretty evident that they don't want that, uh, in their state. So, um, yeah, I don't, I don't understand that situation. The issue with Hofstra, uh, Big Cat, is if Bama's on from 3.

Yeah.

Like they could beat anyone in the country. And Hofstra's just not that set. Like, they got good guards, they can guard, but we've seen with Alabama, if they shoot their way to a win, these— that's where these schools just get, get manhandled. Yeah, because they can't keep up the pace. I think Hofstra, it's huge for that. I mean, I think the, the UNI is the same thing.

Yeah, you and I kind of like as well St.

John's. Yeah, you know, St. John's is going to be in your face after a made basket. They're going to be, you know, full go, man-to-man pressure, full court and can you get stops? Because then they can't set up. You saw the difference. Like, look at what Arkansas did to them last year when Cal beat them, and just look how different they looked last Saturday against UConn. UConn couldn't score, and then when St. John's did score, it's just full go. I mean, I saw their guards do things that, that we haven't seen all year, and that's just from the, the constant pressure. So if you and I can, can hang around, make threes, and slow that pace, I like that as an under. Because you can dictate to St. John's. If you could limit them to one shot and then you walk the ball up, I think it's a big deal. So I look at—

at—

I would want more. Obviously I want more points if I'm Hofstra. I think it's dangerous, but I'm with you. 13.5 in a tournament game. They do have guards that could get to the rim. How they get shots off at the rim against that size is big. But I don't— I don't hate those underdogs. I like Akron. It does feel a lot public now, though.

Yeah.

And the whole thing rests on Christian Anderson, uh, the great guard for Texas Tech. He went out with a groin on the glass court in Kansas City. So, um, I would expect that— that, that's a— it'd be a shame if Texas Tech did get knocked out. How good of a season is that? That's the worst luck they had. I thought Toppin was Player of the Year. To not have him— they go 3-0 without him right out the gate in that— in the best conference in America. Then now they've lost 3 straight. So have they maxed out? I think McCaslin's an awesome coach. He'll have a plan. Against Akron, but Akron falls in that line just like St. John's. If they can make baskets and set up their pressure, that's where they get you, and Texas Tech is good enough defensively.

We'll get back to Stanford Steve in a second. He's brought to you by our great friends, our awesome friends over at McDonald's and the Big Arch. It's the new Big Arch. It's here. It's the most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet. It's got 2 quarter-pound patties, 3 slices of cheese, tangy Big Arch sauce, lettuce, pickles, crispy and slivered onions, and a poppy and sesame seed bun. It smells so good. We got them right here in studio. We're about to chow down on them. The new Big Arch sauce is tangy, it's creamy, it's a perfect pair to the Big Arch burger. What's your favorite Big Arch ingredient? I like the pickles. I'm a pickle man myself. How many bites do you think it would take to finish a Big Arch? Any guesses? 8 bites? I'm pretty hungry. I think I could do it in 7. The Big Arch burger is beefy, saucy, cheesy, and did we mention that it's big? Order the new Big Arch, the most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet, for a limited time at participating McDonald's. For a limited time while supplies last. And Sanford Steve is also brought to you by American Home Shield. From breathtaking buzzer beaters to jaw-dropping upsets, tournament season is full of ups and downs.

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American Home Shield— don't worry, be warrantied. Get 20% off at ahs.com/pmt and see promo details. See ahs.com/contracts for coverage details including service fees, limitations, and exclusions. And now here's more Stanford Steve, the big man. What do you think about, uh, Herb Sendak and the boys, Santa Clara against Kentucky? Now Big Cat and I are— what?

I, I was gonna ask about this game because I This— I hate that I— no, I hate that I do this. I've already put in Santa Clara as a win in my head.

Yeah, we're Colonels and we believe so much in Santa Clara that like, as Colonels, it, it takes a lot for us to bet against our Kentucky Wildcats and Santa Clara. So the spread actually, it did— it went from 1.5 to 3.5. Yeah, so it's going towards Kentucky. I liked, I liked Santa Clara moneyline when the bracket came out.

Oh, it's so bad now.

I really like them at 3.5. Um, what are you thinking in that game?

I have it— it's like my ATM of the day where it's like, oh, I'm gonna be getting killed Thursday.

Well, it's also—

I'll just go to the ATM and bet Santa Clara, I'll be good.

The fact that it's the very first game— I know, on Friday.

That's exactly— that's the worst.

There's always money in the Broncos, so like, at least I've got that in my— I've got money coming in tomorrow, I'll pay it back.

Also plenty of games after that, so yeah, you, you know, you know the mindset. You don't want to start 0-1. Yeah, and that's the game in that window. Scott and I said before the WCC tournament, put Santa Clara in. We've watched them, I've watched them. I think they're really, really good. They play really good defense. Uh, they got a good roster, they're deep, they can make threes, they got rim protection. Uh, so I think they're, they're set up for—

Kentucky just hasn't—

they haven't met the expectation. They haven't come close to meeting the expectation this year. And it's like, all right, Owei, he's, he's a great talent, but he hasn't been a difference maker. You know, I thought Aberdeen was a great guy out of the portal. I thought he was great for Florida last year. He's another guy. Maybe he is better than a sixth man, but he got a ton of money from Kentucky and he's their starting point guard. I, I don't think he's earned that money. Now, can they win this and go to the Sweet 16 and beat the 2 seed? Of course they can. But I'm with you. I like Santa Clara. I think there's a lot of balance there. Another team doesn't really, you know, they close the game with a different lineup than they start, which, you know, tells me that Sendek knows what he wants against a team and he'll play the matchups. So I'm really happy for Sendek. The guy has coached forever and it's a little, little school that was close to Stanford. Used to go down there and have some good times. So I'm happy to see the Broncos back in there and I'm rooting for them.

So I'm with you. Plus the points, Santa Clara.

Yeah, we're also losing Herbs. Yeah, he's the last of a dying breed.

Yeah.

So I want to, I want to see more Herbs.

You say Herb. I say Herb.

Herb.

Well, that's what they said Alabama.

Okay. Yeah. The, the memes is a big Santa Clara guy. He, I actually, I should get Steven Memes on this on the same text because Memes is up late with, you know, editing and stuff. So he's watched a lot of Santa Clara. So that's all we keep hearing, Santa Clara, Santa Clara.

Did he give— did he give Max a scouting report on Utah State? Because they play in that window too.

No, let me see if— let me see if Max—

the latest game—

Hank, they really do are out of—

were they eating lunch?

No, they're in a meeting. I'm gonna see.

Businessman.

PFT, what's your Final Four?

My Final Four was Michigan State. I had, like, Arkansas, which you don't like. And that's more like me just rooting because I want to see more A.Cuff. I believe I had Michigan. And then out of the South, I did not have Florida. I took Houston. So I've got my— I took some futures like a month ago and the futures that I put in Kansas, Arkansas, Houston, Michigan State before the bracket came out. Okay, so that's what I got. I feel, I feel like I'm gonna have one that's in the Final Four at least.

If, if you get multiple teams in the Final Four, I don't know if you get in bracket pools, you're gonna win because you have to be different enough. We've talked about this. Yeah, like it— I can't pick Arizona to win the title. Everybody is.

Yeah, yeah. You know, are you concerned about their, uh, about how they're built in terms of not a lot of shooting? They don't really shoot 3s at all?

No, because of the way they play defensive rebound. Uh, they, they dictate a lot. It's hard to get, get offense going against them. Like I said, the versatility of defensively— I mean, they start the year beating Florida because of Pete. I mean, he dominated that front line. He's whatever, 18 years old, and I'm like, okay, he's gonna be their best player. He's like their fourth best player.

Yeah.

Uh, you know, Awaka, that the kid from Tennessee they got, he just comes in and bloodies things. Uh, he, he doesn't give up shots at the rim. And Burrys is probably my favorite player in the country. He's had some spots where he, he's gone away offensively, but defensively, what he brings to the table— and he's probably their best shooter, uh, but I just love the way he plays. Uh, not a lot of flamboyancy and just plays an all-around game. Uh, so they are— they have to go to the Final Four, guys. Yeah, they— I mean, we did a— I did a thing on our pod the other day, like, the list of teams that have been to the Final Four since Arizona. You're talking about like George Mason, South Carolina, Wichita State, Georgetown. Um, it's, it's in dicey territory and their fans know it. And I feel bad for Tommy Lloyd because he's like, hey, I haven't been here the 25 years. I've recruited my ass off and we've had good teams. They need to have success in this tournament. They need to make, uh, Indianapolis. And I believe they will.

Yeah, it's very mean what you just did throwing Georgetown in Like, like dogshit teams have been there since Syracuse twice. Yeah, very mean.

Yeah, throw them all in there.

Wisconsin twice.

Uh, I mean, there's some, there's some doozies on that list.

Yeah, we're also the reason— Wisconsin's also the reason why they haven't been to a Final Four twice, and that's, that's what scares me.

I know the team doesn't care about that, and I brought that up, Big Cat. The idea that they're— Wisconsin's a couple games away, possibly.

Yeah.

And the idea that they made Arizona play Wisconsin 2 years in a row, in a row, in those Kaminsky teams was a joke. Like, that— like, it was so cruel.

It was.

And then the fact it was awesome that they're in California again, it's— there's a lot there. And I get it, the team doesn't care, Tommy Lloyd doesn't care, but the fans see that. Oh yeah, no doubt they see it.

Oh yeah.

I got a gambling question for you, just in terms of how you absorb the tournament and like what lessons you would take from a Friday. So if, if we're looking at a trend that came out on, uh, on Thursday and it's like, oh, uh, 65, 70, let's say 70% of the unders hit on Thursday, are you, are you using that at all on Friday? Are you just like, listen, that's stuff happens, I'm going back to what I originally thought?

I have a theory about, uh, the first tournament games, and Big Cat is so scared of these basketballs. Damn, I did this before it even was about the balls, is I look at first half unders just because of they're in arenas, the crowds aren't great, the shooting backdrops are different. Um, and I do it, you know, a lot in the, in the, in the first round of the Big East Tournament too, uh, where the backdrop— now you factor in the balls, uh, so I've— it's been really good But it's— I wouldn't say like it's been above 65%, which you would take all day, especially if you're honing in on the whole first round of the tournament. So yeah, I stick to my guns on that if that trend is there. But first half unders has been a fun deal.

The block is hot though on the first half unders. I know it's like the Arch Madness this year. Yeah, everyone talk about the unders. I think it went— I think it ripped like 7-0 in the overs after the first round.

The, the officiating is enormous too.

Yeah. And I hate it.

No one wants to talk about officiating or blame officiating. I'm not. But, you know, look at that Michigan State-UCLA game in the Big Ten Tournament. Like, right, UCLA doesn't make as many threes in a half as they did in that game. On top of what, Michigan State was in the bonus at what, 13 minutes left? Like, that— you, you need certain things to go your right, and you know right away it's over, which is all about Big Cat because he loves his overs and he always has a chance.

I do. So life's too short. Okay, uh, Best Bets Friday, and Max and Hank are, are going to be in here in a minute, so we'll finish with them. Best Bets Friday.

Um, I like that under, under in UNI-St. John's. Okay, uh, what, what do you got for a spread there?

131.5 is the, uh, over-under. 9.5 is the spread. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's going down. That opened at 11.5.

Yeah.

Uh, St. John's is very, very public. Um, I, I look at, um, if they were to play Kansas on the weekend, that's a great matchup. I would— I think that's going to be super public, and I will look at Kansas, uh, in that game. But I would look at UNI plus the points. Uh, the other problem, we don't have a line yet, but I think Tennessee is going to manhandle whoever they play, um, just because of the physicality. And I still I still like Rick Barnes even though everyone hates him and he's only been in one Final Four since 2003, which is more recently than Arizona. So throw them on— you could put Rick Barnes on that list.

That really—

that will make people upset. That might even make Tennessee people mad.

That's the best one.

I don't want to make Tennessee people mad. I really like them. What, um, the last game of the night is like that place, St. Louis, Missouri, is a home game, which is another joke by the committee. Uh, a 10 seed playing a home game. I, I look at what they bring to the table is physicality. I love their coach, and they, they were one of the last teams in. If you look at the bracket, a 10 seed, and they give them a home game, uh, I look at Missouri as being able to handle Miami. Now we got to wait all the way to the, to the end, uh, and I'm sure people will be in good shape by that. But I'm with you, like earlier we talked about Santa Clara, um, Iowa. I kind of like Clemson, really struggles to score. And I know Sturtz, uh, everything goes for him, but I like Iowa. I do too, uh, in that 8-9 game. I might— my— like, UConn we talked about, but like, who's playing for UCLA?

Yeah, I mean, Billie Doo, and I mean, Dent seems like he is— need him obviously.

Why didn't they come back in against—

well, Billie Doo was actually hurt. Yeah, Dent, I don't understand.

I don't know what that injury is where you're back in 5 days, right? You can't finish the game, right? I I don't know.

Okay, I agree.

But, um, Cal Baptist is getting a lot of points. They got Dominic Davis. He's, he's gonna shoot 30 times. It's just a matter of how many threes he's gonna make. He's a little guy, 5'10", out of Compton. Great story. Made 3 straight threes at the end of the game, uh, to beat Utah Valley. He'll, he'll, uh, he'll be it. Like, as the games are getting— you're gonna hear everyone talk about him because he's that little guard, lefty. He could score from anywhere on the court. If he makes threes, that's a lot of points. So I look at Cal Baptist plus double digits. And Furman against UConn, does UConn really want to blow— like, that's up to Hurley. Yes, he wants to and they get it going. But 20.5, that's a lot. I would look at Furman there.

Okay.

All right.

Tennessee. Tennessee is a lot. And I have Virginia going to the Final Four, but that feels like a lot of points against Wright State. Wright State could score. They're not great defensively. It's a high over-under, uh, in the 140s. Uh, maybe Wright State plus the points, but I do like Virginia. I think they're very, very versatile.

Yeah.

All right, Max and Hank are here. What do you got for Max?

Oh, um, well—

oh, Max, by the way, uh, Steve does not have Duke on his list of teams that can win the national title. He's trolling because he's a Duke fan.

He wants to win.

So we've made the deal that if Duke does win the national title, Steve has to come to your bachelor party, which he was invited to anyway, but he, he has agreed that if Duke wins, he will 100% be there.

All right, now I'm rooting for Duke.

Yeah, I'm not.

Yeah, that just turned me into a Duke guy.

Yeah, Max, I didn't do this where I invited myself.

No, I invited—

oh, I believe that. Yeah, that's invited every single person who's come on this show.

If you've talked to Big Cat in the last month and a half, 100%, you've been invited.

Yeah, well, I mean, that's true. I would— I like my friends. I like it. It would be awesome. No, we don't know.

How dare you put that out in the universe.

Yeah, we may have to cut that because that's going out into the universe.

I'm very close to doing it because you said it. And that's a mean thing that you did. No, it's a mean thing you're making me do right now.

I wonder what his stance is in that city.

Yeah, probably on bottom.

There could be some bridges burned. I could very easily see.

I think Grisillo is going to come for a night.

Well, you gotta text him the day before.

No, I—

he—

listen, he's been invited. Uh, okay, so what do you have for Max?

Um, Max, this is a must-win for Villanova. Do you know why?

Yes, I would love to know why.

Because the people in Maryland keep track of postseason wins. Oh, and Maryland has won this year. Villanova does not.

What, when they— the first, the first round of the Big Ten when they were the worst team in, in the conference?

They gotta win. All right, you stole their coach, you stole their coach, and you don't have a win, and you lost to Georgetown, another GMB team.

Yeah, okay, I'm not— where— I'm not worried about Maryland right now.

They should be.

That was an absolute disaster season. Yeah, disaster.

Your eye is not on ball right now.

No, Maryland is a big like, oh boy, they care about us way more than we care about. People of Villanova do not care about Maryland, and the people of Maryland are, are obsessed with every single thing that Kevin Willard does. And I get it, I would be pissed too. I don't care about Maryland. I don't think about Maryland.

They don't cross my brain.

Like, nothing about Maryland interests me at all.

The big man's gonna be upset about that one.

Yeah, things have changed. I mean, you did care about Maryland last year a lot.

I can't really—

I cared about Kevin Willard.

Yeah, well, where did he coach, Max?

Listen, I'm sorry about the way things turned out. Unfortunately, Villanova's just a better, a better—

no, you're not.

Yeah, no, I'm not.

I'm not sorry, Big Cat. I just see this coming out. Yes, getting a text from Pam Pelt saying, oh, The dude with the ponytail was talking shit about Maryland.

Yeah, I'm not talking shit about Maryland.

I'm just saying, I'm just letting the people know my, my thoughts on Maryland is that I don't care about Maryland.

Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, they take receipts.

Noted.

And you better win because they're gonna win this season. I like it. They have a win.

Must win. Must win.

Okay, Hank, you're a golf guy?

I dabble.

I, I thought you were a ball knower.

No.

Why?

When did— what would ever make you think that?

I thought you were a fan. Like, the idea that you go to, you know, Florida for golf on one of the best days of the year.

How many best days of the year can there be, Stanford Steve?

Best Friday? That's, that's top 3 Friday of the year.

Yeah, Friday.

What's, what's—

you're making Fridays.

What's number 2? This Friday?

Yeah.

Um, yeah.

Yeah, got us there. Back-to-back Fridays, look at us. I would say back-to-back Fridays.

This Friday is—

and then the following Friday is Good Friday.

Yeah, yeah. So, but that's not the stretch of Fridays there is. Yes, it is. We're in the— we're in the— we're in the golden age of Fridays.

One more, we got a month.

Steve, here's the thing, I don't get into the players. You act—

you act like there are no TVs outside of your living room. Like, there's— there's places that have televisions that you can watch sports on.

Not on a golf course. In the suites.

In the suites.

No, but on Friday— he's talking about Friday.

Oh, and Friday, yeah, Friday we were off the course by, uh, what, 5 PM? So we were watching, we were watching sports in our house.

Okay, I just—

yeah, Hank is a golf guy.

Yeah, you got kids, Steve, you don't understand how it is.

You don't, so what are you saying?

Golf, that's it. Golf is his kids.

Oh, I got you.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, sorry, sorry for the Dominican loss.

Yeah, that—

no, that was tough.

Yeah, that was—

I heard that.

I heard the guys might have been at 11 the night before.

Our guys?

The Dominican guys.

Oh, so yes, our guys.

There's—

that could—

our guys, our guys.

Oh, you're a guy.

Not all—

don't, don't put R in there. Uh, you got— you guys are live for the stream?

Uh, Yeah, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Couple questions.

I'm going to the Valero.

Come down to TGL, Hank. We'll be there Monday, Tuesday.

Um, he might.

I would love to.

Yeah, it's, it's awesome. I was building— the building is incredible.

I was watching last night.

Yeah. Uh, question about the streams. Um, what's the worst max Is it Joel Embiid Sixers Max? Is it Eagles Max? Oh no, Nova Max?

None of these. None of these.

Philly's Max?

No, no, none of those.

I think it's Philly's Max.

None of the above. I love all of those. It's Max after he's won a game and he just talks our fucking ears off about anything under the sun. He'll be like, oh, you're going grocery shopping? Oh yo, that's cool. How the kids? How's everything? Yeah. He's just having the chattiest time ever if he's got a win in his pocket.

Sorry, my mood changes when things are going well for me. When things are going bad, I'm not so chatty. But I'm sorry, I like to talk with my boys when I'm in a good mood.

So that's the worst. I like Max winning.

Max is the worst.

Yeah, but no, Max— but no, it's not winning, because I actually, I enjoy Max when he's in the fight. So in the act of winning, I'm fine with it. It's, it's like an hour or two after he's got the win and he's just like, he's just like, he'll like cross his legs and like sit crisscross applesauce and fully face you and not even look at the TV and be like, how's it going?

That's, that's ponytails bouncing in the way of the TV so people can't see.

But I would say, I would say like Philly's, Philly's Max might be worse because there's so much, you know, there's so much dead time during a baseball game. And so he's just got, he's all nervous energy and he's just, he's on a razor's edge and he's trying to fill that dead air sometimes with anger. And that's, that's a tough one to get through. They haven't been able to make Max happy. And I think most of his other teams at some point have made him happy.

I'll also say Max doesn't get enough credit for being an extreme ball knower in the fact that he's almost always right about his teams. Like when he is mad at the Phillies or mad at the Eagles. He's spot on for the reasons he's mad and they end up becoming true like as we're watching the game.

Yeah, I tried to tell Max the night before the Super Bowl in New Orleans too, and that's just straight Philly. I was like, can you just enjoy this? Like, enjoy the run that they're on? And he was just like, fuck you, we got to win. I was like, yeah, all right. But I appreciate that. Yeah. My last one on that. Whole scene, uh, because I love checking it out, um, is no one is more miserable in there than Titus.

Oh no, he's, he's— it depends. This past weekend he actually had a great time. He was having— he was, he was, he was laughing his ass off because we laddered Akuf threes and he would get the ball at like half court and be like, shoot it! And he was just like, what are you guys even doing right now? Like, he would drive and we'd call him a selfish fuck. And like, so But yeah, there's times when Titus is like, I would like to just watch ball.

His looks at Bosco are just like— you could do a whole cut-up of that, of just him like on his phone and then looking at Rico and just like the head shake.

And it's—

I just watch Titus when I watch those because it's hilarious.

Titus isocam.

And I miss him because he never texts me back now.

So there is just—

it's big time.

There's way too much nonsense for Titus in that cave. Yeah, exactly. He can't keep track of all the storylines that people have, like grudges people have against each other that are built up over 5 years of watching games together. He is a college basketball purist and he does— he has— he does not entertain the nonsense very well.

Yeah. And I showed Hank falling and my kids are scared to death now of watching TV with their feet on the table.

Oh, it's good. It's dangerous.

Protect your—

I want to be like that guy, Daddy's Friend Hank. I love that video.

Yeah.

God, I would cry.

That's dangerous.

Yeah. And you fumble the wings, which is just—

well, they were—

they were—

they were— it was trash. They were like finished.

Swings.

Okay.

Yeah, that's good. Also, like, maybe that's why Hank can't watch basketball for that long. He's afraid of having his leg fall asleep again, so it's better if he walks around on a golf course.

Yep. It's not going to fall asleep on the course. No, no, no.

Hell no. All right, Steve, I got one last question. Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Promo code Tate, 20% off your first purchase. Roback dot com. R-H-O-B-A-C-K dot com. Promo code TATE. Go right now. Best stuff out there. Most comfortable stuff, especially March Madness.

Great.

Get some sweatpants, get some sweatshirts.

Vests are great.

Vests. So talk to me about the setup on this, this, this weekend. What's— what are we— where are we watching? Are you— I mean, listen, you got— you got 3 kids. You got a lot going on. You're not even going to the Final Four this year. Well, no, I'm sorry. You are going to Final Four.

You're going to—

yeah, he's going to the women's Phoenix.

Yeah, I love that. Who do you got? Give us a women's— a women's tip.

Oh, if you want an easy parlay, parlay South Carolina and Texas to go to the Final Four. It's like -115, but those two teams got easy treks. UConn and UCLA got screwed. UCLA has to play the best 2 seed, or they got the best 2 seed, the best 3 seed, the best 5 seed.

I'm on it right now.

Uh, yeah, so it's like they're both like -330, but South Carolina and Texas, put them together and parlay.

You got it, Steve.

All right, okay.

And then what's the setup?

Uh, well, we are here in Dewey Beach, Delaware at the Starboard. As you know, Monty's taking control. We are at Raw currently. We will bounce across the street from Starboard to Raw, maybe mix in another place of Monty's, Claw, which is diagonal. Uh, but Dewey Beach is where it's at for the games. Newly renovated Starboard, giant TVs. Uh, I don't know how much time we could spend outside because of this polar vortex that has come through and it's about 30 degrees. But Dewey Beach is a spot and that's where we would be located. And we have a lot of festivities which happened earlier in the week to invest in teams.

Love it.

So we are suited and booted and ready to go.

Best time of year. Best— second best Friday.

Second best Friday.

Second best Friday for Hank. All right, Steve, you're the best. We'll talk to you later.

Appreciate you guys.

See you. Stanford Steve was brought to you by State Farm. In basketball, the great players don't just go it alone. They have teammates, coaches, and a solid support system all behind them. It's kind of like insurance, because let's face it, a lot of us probably aren't great at doing that alone either. That's where State Farm comes in. State Farm is a teammate, always ready to assist. It'll help you find the coverage you need. It'll help you recover from the unexpected, from fender benders to storm damage, or even just a question about your policy. State Farm is there to help provide an assist when you need it through the State Farm mobile app, a network of 19,000 local agents, and online at statefarm.com. So don't just go it alone when you need help protecting what matters most. State Farm is there. State Farm with the assist. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability and eligibility vary by state. And Fire Fest of the Week is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. You wouldn't hire your backup quarterback to close out the Super Bowl unless maybe that's what they're doing with Andy Dalton. Great quarterback now in Philadelphia.

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Okay, Fire Fest of the week, which we are recording before the games tip off, so my Fire Fest could definitely change.

Something tells me that Oliver Fire Fest is going to change.

Yeah, we're going to maybe update when we're— when we talk about the beginning of the show, you probably heard if things go poorly, both rooting for teams and also bets, but things will go poorly bets. I'm just hoping Wisconsin wins early. Hank, do you have a Fire Fest? Yes. Spiders?

No spiders.

Okay. I can't wait for the spiders.

Hank was right about the spiders traveling over the lake.

Yeah, no, I looked it up.

Crazy.

Yeah, we looked it up on the show.

Oh yeah, we looked up on the show.

The— I'm excited for the first spider day. It'd be like the first day of spring.

I'm excited, too, because they're going to die, right? Like, it's—

it's— but it's also like, you know what I mean?

It's—

it's— it's almost like a moment that we should like—

so we should have—

we should have an alert. There will never be a Fyre Fest again on this show.

All right.

But we should have an alert being like, first spider.

It's a Fyre Fest for them.

First spider.

Showing up on my balcony is a Fyre Fest for them.

You fucked up. Now you fucked up, Spike.

First spider saw— seen on Hank's balcony. Balcony was a seminal day in all of our lives.

Hank, how do you feel about getting like a bunch of lizards and releasing them on your balcony?

It's a great idea. It's a great idea.

Not opposed. I mean, lizards are kind of—

the little ones.

Yeah, yeah, cute ones.

Yeah, I think they would die. Like they'd fall and die.

I don't—

I don't think suction on the side—

they wouldn't be allowed in the house.

I don't think that lizards can reach terminal velocity. I think if you threw them off a building they fly. They, they'd like glide down.

Yeah.

Through the air.

I watched the— this is sidetracked, but I watched the— some of the dinosaur Netflix news.

I want to watch it so bad.

And it's just lizards or dinosaurs.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Yeah.

Also, 200 million years.

Hard to—

who decides that?

Who? Hard.

Oh, yeah.

Hank and I had a long convo.

Hard to wrap your head around who decides any of that.

Like, they went from 220 million years and then flash forward to 200 million years. And I'm like, 20 million years is a huge gap.

Yeah, long time.

Who's deciding like that's the time of the distance between these things?

Yeah, there's one guy. Yeah, there's one guy and he won't let you know his name and that's by design.

But yeah, lizards, crocodiles, crazy.

There's not enough weed in the world, I think, for me to, to smoke to really enjoy that, that dinosaur show. I really, I want to get so high.

Well, it was a good, just like fall asleep, like turn something on, like pay attention, fall asleep. but it also like it, it's all AI, obviously the dinosaurs and the Morgan Freeman is narrating it. And it's like, I feel like that's also AI.

Oh wait, like I don't—

there's—

because it might just be FC. It might be Frank Caliendo.

He's the fakest. He's the most AI-able voice that exists.

That's true.

Yeah.

And it just felt—

I don't know. But what did you expect when you're watching the dinosaurs?

Spielberg?

I don't know.

No, but I mean, like, for—

no, obviously.

No, I know.

No, obviously that part. But like, I don't know, it just felt— didn't—

I didn't love it. Yeah.

I don't think you were high enough. That's, that's my— I don't think it's possible to get as high as I want to get to be able to enjoy the show.

That's fair. I was watching it being like, I wish I was just like stoned out of my gourd right now because this is what this is made for. But neither here nor there. No spiders, no problem. Me and PFT, I parked my car at the airport when we went to Jacksonville. We had to rent a car from Grand Rapids, drive it here. There's a huge rainstorm, and then I had to drive back to the airport Monday to drop off the rental and pick up my car. All my windows were closed. Oh, it had rained so hard that like my roof was leaking.

Dude, that's crazy.

You have—

so everything—

your car is so not sick, it's insane.

So then, so like I had the ticket for the parking lot just in my like center console and it had got soaking wet. So when I went to the machine, I put it in, but it was literally like there was no— there was no— it was like just mushy paper. I put it in the machine, it doesn't register. There's 4 cars behind me.

Worst.

I had to get out, go talk to the ticket person. Then she's like, you have to back up and like come into my lane. And I had to then direct the traffic to turn around. They're all beeping at me.

Everyone was so mad at you. And they were like, this guy's car sucks.

Yeah. No, it, it, it's a problem.

I'm looking at the curse of the sick car. Ever since you said I don't have a sick car, your car has sucked.

I'm looking up some explanations behind Hank, your particular model. It says It's common, usually caused by clogged, cracked, or disconnected drain tubes. You got your— you got to unclog your drain tubes, bro.

What does that even mean?

Last time you had your drain tubes unclogged?

Never.

I didn't know that was a thing.

Yeah, your car stinks.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

Okay, not sick.

Not sick.

Not like your car got flooded.

Yeah. Okay. PFT.

Uh, mine's Kind of a serious one because this time of year it's— I think I talk about this maybe in the first of the March Madness shows every year, but it was 3/11. No, 3/11. What do you mean?

Was that a thing?

This band?

It's a band.

3/11 Day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got me all mixed up.

Don't know what to do.

Hey, you've been a beautiful disaster recently. I love you, buddy.

He's got to tighten it up a little. The Wednesday show, the East, the East region.

We got the West. We got— we got the West done.

Uh, but yeah, so this time of year it's always a little bit tough for me. It was my dad's birthday, always the first weekend of March Madness. It was always his favorite weekend of the year, always his favorite day. I would talk to him multiple times a day, and that's really like how we bonded when I was a kid, was really this, this time of year would be just us hanging out the entire time. So I do miss him a lot this weekend, um, but we'll turn into a reverse Fire Fest. Just remind if you talk to your dad about sports, give him a call, talk to him. Don't forget to talk to him about the tournament. He wants to hear from you. So reach out, talk to him, have a good time, bond. And I'm going to drink ginger ale and root beer for my dad today. And it's going to be tough, but it's also like gotten to be one of those things that now I look back on and I kind of smile before I get sad, which is all you can hope for. So yeah, just a reminder, hit your parents up if they like sports.

They want to hear from you. Talk to them and enjoy this time of year.

Yeah. All right, Zach, I'm not following that. I'll call you.

It is a tough— it's a tough Fire Fest to follow.

I refuse to follow.

I'll be honest, it's a tough one to follow.

My Fire Fest this week is a good message though.

PFT, it is.

It really is.

You call your loved ones, man. You know what I mean?

It's important.

Yeah, we love you. Not everybody— not everybody's got somebody to call.

Call them.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a beautiful thing.

PFT, thank you, Zach.

My favorite this week isn't as beautiful. It's just that we post things on Instagram sometimes as a media company. I was like, thought I was sharing like good life update that I was cooking at home more this week. I was pretty excited about it, felt good about it, and I just got eviscerated.

Oh yeah, bag just being in the kitchen, dude. People were like, hey, call Zach, he's gonna burn his house down.

Wait, what happened?

Did you see this picture? He's got a paper bag basically on the stove. Move.

But it's so much further away from the burner than you would think. But it would be this—

it's in the vicinity, and like, it's too— it's too much in the vicinity.

Eh, it's so far away.

It is far away, but still, it's more that you're the type of guy that the fact that it's in the area means that it will eventually inch closer and closer. It's not going the other direction.

And if I can recall correctly, the bag might have made it off the stove before steak was even done.

Oh, okay, good.

Maybe not, but could have.

How was the steak?

I think I did an okay job. I sent a pic to my dad. He approved.

Yeah, I think, Zach, it was like the actual picture wasn't— it wasn't— did you break your spatula?

I did.

Yeah, it wasn't alarming that the bag was in a fine place. It's more that you're a guy who will put a paper bag that close to your burners, meaning you will eventually put a paper bag just on a burner by accident. In it.

Is that Kendall Jenner tequila?

I could see it work. They got to also think like, I'm not working with them, I got like a decent amount of space, you know what I mean? But like, you got to maximize space. Yeah, like, I don't know, it just— that is— yeah, good tequila as well. You're very tasty. Uh, then there's coming at me for plasticware.

Oh yeah, see, the bag is— it's kind of on the—

yeah, the bag's on the stove and it is going to migrate its way over to the open flame, right? For sure, right?

That's, that's something that Zach will lose track of that bag. Zach, I got to say, Nike bag too, which just makes it even funnier that it's not— it's not like your grocery bag.

That is a sweatpants.

Yeah, there might actually actively be sweatpants in that bag.

Really get the fire going.

That's a swaggy olive oil container that you have on the stove.

That's tequila.

Yeah, tequila. Little tequila.

Oh, that's the— yeah. Okay.

That's Kendall Jenner.

That looks like an olive oil.

Are you a hypebeast?

No, just—

yes, yes, it's just good.

Yeah, you're right.

No, it's a little sassy, but it's good. It was a deal.

Not as good as Jose Cuervo, though.

Zach, how was it going out? How's it going out to the club on St. Paddy's Day?

A lot of social interaction. It's like the maximum amount.

It's my favorite thing because this office has a lot of young, young people and they obviously will go out together. And then every now and then you'll see an Instagram story of one of the girls at a club. And they'll just kind of be panning and then it'll just be Zach. Look at my boy. He's living his best life.

And you always have the— yeah, look at that.

Look at that smile.

Million-dollar smiles.

There's a lot of guys just telling me I never leave my apartment. So I was like, I can leave one time.

Yeah, you can. You left.

I'll show you. Yeah.

Once we're going back inside now.

But it was a good day. Did you happen to run into Talia?

I did not. No.

Okay.

And I think she might have been closer to the river. I didn't make it to the river.

Got it.

Look like she had a great time on Instagram, though.

Yeah, you weren't—

you weren't green.

I did wear green the weekend of. I forgot green on Tuesday, which just makes me a bad holiday celebrator.

No, that's all right. That's all right. Okay, good. Fyre Fest. My Fyre Fest is— I tweeted this, but I'm heavy in the birthday circuit right now. When you're—

when you're—

when you have a first grader, everyone's birthday, everyone gets invited. So I've done 3 birthday parties in the last 8 days. And my son's got a broken wrist. I talked about last week, so he can't do like the trampoline park and all that stuff. So we just play video games. We've been ripping. I played— I've probably spent $300 on claw machines in the last like week and a half. And all I've gotten to show for it is like a dozen shitty rubber ducks and Tootsie Rolls. But the real Fyre Fest is one of the birthday parties. They had a SpongeBob VR VR roller coaster. And he's like, I want to do this, Dad. I was like, all right, I'll do it with you. And we both put on the sets. I had to take off the set because I got so dizzy. Yeah, I legitimately started to get nauseous. My son did the VR roller coaster probably 15 times, and I couldn't handle one run of it. And I felt like such a bitch.

Yeah, it takes some getting used to. Some guys are cut out for the metaverse, some guys aren't.

I also had a moment where there was a kid who was not not in my son's class, not at the birthday party, who just was following us around asking if I would pay for him to use claw machines. And I had to kindly tell a 6-year-old like, hey bro, I don't know you.

I'm not your dad.

I don't fucking know you. And it was like, what it was, one of these, it was one of the arcades where they didn't even have the cards that you could buy. Yeah, it was just my credit card. I had to swipe my credit card like 15 times on every machine. And he basically was like, can I have your Can I have your card?

Shout out to that kid's dad who was probably like, ask him. Yeah, go. You go ask him. I'm sick of you.

It's crazy. But it was, it was, it's funny to watch. Like the, the, we were some of these trampoline parks are so insane now and like there's, there's ball pits, there's zip lines, all this stuff. But still, because, because like I said, all the kids are playing and I'm there with my son because I'm basically making sure like, don't go down, do something and break your other arm or break your wrist more. So I'm playing all the video games. All the other kids are just like, as soon as they see us playing video games, I become the Pied Piper of video games. Like, they're just following me around. We're playing the Jurassic Park game. We're getting free weird shit like balls and stuff like that. So kids still love video games. Yeah, it's still—

they're never going to stop.

No, you could give a kid a zip line in a video game. They'll take the video game.

Is there— you know how we complain that there's no monoculture anymore?

Yeah.

Is there monoculture still when it comes to video games for small kids? Like, do they all play the same games?

No. I don't know. I'm, I'm yet to give my son a video game console because I feel like that will be the end of our relationship.

Yeah.

Yeah. It'll be, hey, so long.

You think?

Yeah. You think that's why, like, our parents were like, I don't want to get you a Super Nintendo?

Oh, definitely.

Like, we want to, we want to keep hanging out.

I think I've told this story, but I remember my— I think I got my first console when I was maybe like 11 or 12. I got a PS, a PlayStation. But before that, I love video games, wasn't able to have them for my birthday. One year I rented from Blockbuster a Sega Genesis for the weekend.

Yeah.

And just carried around in a suitcase. Like, I had to go somewhere. We had to go to like a family event or something. And I just— I showed up to their house and I was like, where's your basement? Like, I have work to do.

Yeah, it was an awesome move for a birthday. You rent the latest console. I remember my buddy rented Nintendo 64 one time. It was like, well, we're just going to hang out all weekend.

Didn't sleep the entire week because you have a limited— like, I rented on a Friday, had to get back on a Sunday. I'm not going to sleep.

I'm just playing.

And this was— you guys probably have no idea what we're talking about right now. Just the idea of renting a console is probably very foreign. But it was cool. They give you a full briefcase, like a metal briefcase with the whole thing in it. It's pretty cool. Yeah.

You got to get up early sometimes to go to Blockbuster because there would be other people that would rent for the weekend. Like Fridays were a big day to rent consoles.

I miss Blockbuster a little bit. There was something about it.

Well, because you had to work for it.

Well, yeah. And you also just going to pick what instead of sitting on your couch and scrolling through a bunch of stuff, you had to be like, all right, let's go, let's pick out a movie. And then when you pick out the movie, it's like, we're going to watch this.

Yeah. And the smell. And also, yeah, you would, you would watch it and you would probably think that the movie was better than it actually was every time because you had part of your ego invested in the fact that you picked that movie. Yeah. Like you walk to the store and you got that movie and you're not dumb, so you made a good choice. Therefore, the movie that we just watched actually doesn't suck.

And you couldn't bail on it.

No.

And you also have to— you have to get your money's worth and watch it again the next day.

Yeah. And you guys, you guys definitely don't know about the winders. Yeah, we had a special rewinder, a VCR, a tape rewinder.

I remember that.

I would keep on— yeah, we keep that like on the entertainment center. So you got done watching the movie, put it in the rewinder. We got a sick one that looked like a car. You put that in, close the hood. And then send it back.

Good times. Okay.

You would get a fine, right? If you said it.

Yeah, please.

Oh, yeah.

Please be kind.

Rewind big time.

Set it on every, every single VHS.

Like if your Blockbuster membership card was actually— it was valid as a second form of ID.

Very important.

Like I had a fake ID in my fake ID. Also in that wallet had a Blockbuster card with a different person's name. I was untouchable. Yeah, I was like, oh, this guy's legit.

Okay, good show, Max. Or memes. Got any Fyre Fest? Nothing. Oh, slight one. Yeah, just because it's show related. We were supposed to have Akron in Bracketbusters. Ah, and Big Cat was nice enough saying that if our team makes it to the Sweet 16, me and Zach get to split. I'm not taking any money. We get to split the money.

So if Akron makes it to the Sweet 16, Zach has to work off $15,000 for me.

I think that's fair. Zach picked— so Bracketbusters, shout out Experian. We do Bracketbusters every year. The rules are everyone in the company plays. You pick a 9th through 16th seed, and if the last one remaining wins the prize, the prize is $30,000 this year. Zach on Sunday's show picked Akron to win it all. Then when we did the Bracket Busters draft, we— Zach Memes and I are a team. They came up. Akron was still on the board. Zach just panicked and said UCF. So hopefully UCF makes a run. But Akron was right there. To win. You have them winning the national title, which means actually, yeah, if they win the national title, I think it's an extra like $30 grand.

Yeah.

So we'll just do a video series of Zach working it off. Okay.

I love that.

So now you're rooting against Akron and for UCF, Zach.

That's where decisions were made on the mic as a team. We three-man bust. You guys gave me the bust and I busted wrong for the team.

We give you the bust.

Yeah, we're talking about busting as a team.

Oh, the solo bust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We said you take the wheel.

I explained that poorly, but we had a Notes app list. It was a fluid situation because things were moving. Teams were getting deleted, teams were getting added. Copy paste, copy paste. Go Knights.

Hey, Max.

Knight up.

Hey, Max. Who do we have next? We have Finns up. Who do we have?

I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed to do it anymore.

Yes, you are.

Who said you're not allowed to do it?

You're not allowed to do it in front of Dave. This is safe space.

Who said you're not allowed to do it in front of Dave?

Yeah, you can. No, Dave. Dave said he might leave. What is— what do you care?

He's, he's boss.

He's okay. He's not here right now.

Yeah, if we don't do it, we're not gonna win.

No, that's a fact.

Yeah, in fact, he's— he might even be madder if you won't do it.

It's also an advertisement. Yeah.

All right, people have gotten fired for less than that, Max.

Do it.

Do it.

Do it.

We're doing it all day.

Yeah, we are gonna do it all day.

All right, so do it right now. Let's practice. I might take a money line.

There we go. They're gonna win, me, Max, and Hank. And tell you what, you guys, if we win, you guys get the money. Wow, thanks, Zach.

Zach, I'll give you my share.

You know what, I'll double the money. I'll get— I'll, I'll match what experience.

I'll triple. Wait, just triple. If LIU wins, gets to Sweet 16, I'll Triple. Go LIU.

Just so we don't have to win the whole thing. Just Sweet 16?

No, no, they have to win. You have to win the Bracket Busters, but I will triple the prize.

You know what, if we get to the Sweet 16 and we don't win the Bracket Busters, I'll pay the money like we had.

Yeah, all I have to do is put $1 on LIU to go to the Sweet 16. Yeah, I think I would.

I think they're +32 against Arizona.

All right, numbers. 23. 10. UCF.

Oh, she don't.

68, 16, 59.

Fans up.

68, 10, 10, 10, 86, 55, 69, 55, 67, 67. No one? Anyone?

28.

Anyone have 28?

No, we should do what— we should do one more drawing.

All right, one more. All right, but it's two numbers, so you gotta— you can't change.

All right, I got 16 and 61.

No, you don't have— no, you can't do that.

You get one number, you should get the inverse.

56. Yeah, you could get it right.

You can't get—

oh no, you could get it Twice. If you guess 2 numbers, you got it exactly like that.

1 for 1.

62. 62.

1 away.

Oh my God, that's so close.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

UCF, 10 seed. Let's go.

That didn't count. That was 4 numbers.

That was the second one because then it became—

if you want to count it, you can, but I mean, that's not the primary.

You got the first one.

I got the cuck.

I got the cuck ball.

You can't.

Here's one out of 99 instead of one out of 100.

Here's what's important.

10 came up. UCF is 10 seed.

That is important.

Officially though, Statement, are you counting this as— because I forgot to change it back from—

exciting.

It was exciting, but are you counting it? I'll let you count it, but forever everyone's gonna say, well dude, you got it with, with less.

Yeah, no, no.

All right, I'll, I'll change it back so it's only one number. You know what, we'll do one more. What a thrill. I'm gonna change it back.

I'm shocked that you're not taking it. Yeah, I would have taken that so hard. You know what, you're done.

You've already given it up.

I think memes has fastball.

Old memes would have taken that for sure.

Memes, I— there's no chance I wouldn't have taken that. You're so dumb. I just cut myself on the machine.

That's a bad sign.

That's a bad—

that is a bad sign.

That is a bad sign.

There's a lot of blood.

We got blood.

There is blood.

There is blood.

There will be blood. There will be blood. Yeah. Count 1 out of 99 instead of 1 out of 100.

Here's what's important.

10 came up. UCF is 10 seed.

That is important. Officially, though, statement. Are you accounting? This is because I forgot to change it back. Exciting.

It was exciting.

But are you counting it? I'll let you count it. But forever.

Everyone's going to say, well, dude, you got it.

With.

With less.

Yeah.

No, no.

All right, I'll.

I'll change it back.

So it's only one number.

already given it up. I think memes Official.

You have decided, buddy.

This— I hope this doesn't end up being another thing where you don't get it for like 2 years. That would be a real shame because you had the moment. Yeah, take it. Oh, everyone in this room would have taken more on move on Mims' part.

More on move.

I'm a professional now. That was so dumb.

No, very dumb. He regretted it.

Go Knights! Go Knights! Oh, I would have taken it so fast. Go Knights!

Go Knights! Happy birthday to, uh, Jahmyr Gibbs and to Mr. Rodgers.

Okay. And Queen Latifah.

I don't— nope, nope, retract. Love you guys.