Transcript of Listener Tales 115: Halloween Tales

Hey, weirdos. I'm Carrie White.

I'm the Sea Hag from Widow's Bay.

And this, this is Morbid.

It's morbid. We're wounded.

I'm sticking to myself.

I— yeah, you are a masterpiece, though.

So are you.

Thank you.

To be quite honest.

We love being covered in blood.

Yep.

Like fake wounds.

Yep.

Fake blood, obviously.

The uglier the better.

Yeah, just being ugly and bloody is the most fun ever.

It really is.

It's cool that this is our job. Yeah, I love it.

It is, and hopefully halfway through this I can just go, and something in your house will break.

Oh, that'd be crazy. Wait, all right, so it's all manifest now. Write in if that happens.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna kill any of you because it's a, It's an interesting way to go.

And you have to do something to get killed.

That's true.

She doesn't just go after anyone.

I know, I was really sad. I wanted to get tooth decay, 'cause in the show her teeth are like fucked up. But I couldn't get tooth decay in time. It's harder than you think.

It's a common problem.

It is. You know? You know what I did use though for this entire look on my face? The Anastasia Soft Glam palette.

Which—

And I said, if only Anastasia knew.

I mean, If anything's soft glam, I would say this.

What do you think? Like, I don't think that was her intention building out the palette, but—

Maybe it was.

You don't know her life.

We don't know. I'm sticking to things, so—

My hair is sticking in my wounds.

My hair is—

Yeah. Also, that's not Alayna's real hair. That's a wig. No. Which, like, isn't that crazy? Because it looks like your exact real hair color.

It does. It was kind of crazy.

But I'm so glad you picked it up.

Shout out to Deb Deb for picking it up.

Yeah, she literally— Deb ran out this morning because we were like, maybe we shouldn't put all that blood in your hair.

I was like, you know what, I don't really want to try to get this viscous sticky blood out of my hair.

Getting it off your body alone.

Yeah, it's gonna be an experience, and I have to pick my kids up.

Yeah,

so

John thinks that she should take them to dance like that,

and I agree.

I think it'd be funny.

And I said, I was like, I should just walk into the waiting room like this and just be like, sit down and just be like,

hey guys. I mean, the kids are wearing their costumes.

And anytime someone says something to me, just go

I like

it. Yeah. I think it'd be funny. I think it should. If I wouldn't get like arrested,

I

would do it.

Yeah, I know.

You

know, yeah, that's the tough thing about life is you have to consider being arrested.

It's a tough thing. You know?

Well, welcome to our Halloween listener tale. All that being said, you sent in your spookiest tales.

You did.

And we're going to read them.

We sure are.

And you usually go first. I'll scroll for you.

I was going to say, she's got to— the sea hag has to scroll for me.

The sea hag is willing.

Because I've been through it.

I know, I meant to get yucca nails too.

Yucca nails. Instead, you have cute nails.

I do. Shout out to Helly, Techie Nail Salon.

Just saying. All right, let's start with this one because it's called The Time I Brandished a Bop-It. And I've never met a Bop-It that I couldn't beat the shit out of, so I feel—

You're like freakishly good at Bop-It.

I am. That's something I will own up.

Freakishly. Not to call Carrie a freak 5 minutes in,

but— Yeah, not to trigger me.

Yeah, don't do that.

But I can fuck up a Bop-It.

Yeah, you're always like setting high scores for the children.

Yeah, it's one of those things where if I go into a house and there's a Bop It and it's like high score 40, I'm like, and then I set it to high score 100 and nobody can beat it.

As you should.

So I feel qualified to do this one.

She is.

All right, let's see if I can read with blood in my eyes.

Okay.

Uh, let me set the scene. It's Halloween day in October 2008 and the financial crisis is in full swing.

Spooky.

I'm just a moody teen in the suburbs of Philadelphia with my scene hair, layered tops, and royal blue skinny jeans. We are transitioning from MySpace to Facebook at a rapid rate. Blockbuster just got Avatar, and The Vampire Diaries is changing lives. I gotta watch that. A simpler time. I actually have never watched The Vampire Diaries.

No, I haven't either.

And I feel crazy for

that. I wanna watch it, and everybody says I look like one of the girls from there. Yeah. Yeah.

It's true.

Probably not right now, but—

A simpler time, if you will, minus the financial crisis that probably blew. Sorry, adults. Yeah, probably. Halloween fell on a Friday this year, which meant I was free to go hang in someone's basement just as soon as I finished babysitting. Sorry, a thing of blood just dripped right down my nose.

Gorgeous.

Like literally like this.

Yeah, I saw that. It's coming down the middle now. It might get in your mouth.

Sorry, I don't care. She's committed to the fucking bit.

She's about it.

So it fell on a Friday. She could hang out in someone's basement just as soon as I finished babysitting my neighbor's 2 boys. What more could a teen want? So it's 6-ish and I'm walking down to the house for the babysitting job. The sun is setting and there's a cool crisp breeze. The most perfect Halloween night.

Oh, I love it.

This family had moved in a few years prior to the house at the end of the block. Um, I, I said that with one full breath, but it was actually 2 separate thoughts. A family had moved in a few years prior, and they had moved into the house at the end of our block.

There you go.

It sat at the end of the street down a long winding driveway that weaved through the trees. It was completely secluded from the main road and a good 15 to 20 minute walk from my house. I didn't mind the walk, especially because it was such a beautiful evening, obviously. When I eventually arrive, the parents run me through the usual spiel— pizza is out, soda in the fridge— and head out for their Halloween party. The 2 boys, let's call them Drake and Josh—

Iconic.

—were always angels. Drake was probably 6 and Josh was 4. I babysat these boys frequently and can honestly say I never had any issues with them. The night started out normal— fort building and Halloween movies on TV with the lights out for the cozy spooky vibe.

Yas.

Everything was going swimmingly until I casually saw a figure run from one side of the backyard to the other and into the woods surrounding the house.

That will change the vibe.

Nice!

That will, in fact, kill the vibe, likely.

Yeah. The house was shaped like a square and had a beautiful old wraparound porch that overlooked the wooded area.

Oh, that feels like, so like Scream and Halloween-y.

I was just thinking that. When she goes out on the porch. Yep.

Ugh.

Yep. This meant the entire first floor was pretty much covered in windows with 3 sliding glass doors that opened to said porch.

That's horrific.

Normally, this home was idyllic and peaceful, but to me, in that moment, it started to feel very unsafe and very exposed.

Yeah, windows are tough.

No. Now, I wasn't overly concerned yet, because whatever it was seemed to be passing through and wasn't heading towards the house. I also tried to rationalize that it was probably a deer or some other animal. I understand that. As casually as I could, I asked the boys to please clean up and head upstairs to get ready for bed, a little early. Being the sweet baby angels that they were, they didn't protest and went straight upstairs. Oh, good job, Drake and Josh.

So far, good babysitting day.

Once I knew they were upstairs, I slowly started walking through the downstairs, making sure windows and doors were closed and locked. Nice. I didn't dare turn the lights on. The house felt like a fishbowl on a good day, and if, if there was someone out there watching us, I did not want to draw them closer. Mind you, I was shaking like a leaf and doing my best to keep it together. I would have been shitting my pants.

I would have called the parents and said, I'm actually leaving.

Yeah, I'm actually— I'm gonna leave your kids here. Bye! Everything seemed fine, and I was starting to relax. Maybe This was just a weird guy on Halloween night doing whatever weird guys do. That's honestly—

And that thought made you relax?

That's a valid thought, though.

It's a valid thought, but not a relaxing one.

That is until I heard what sounded like an animal slam right into the window.

No.

I turned around, and at the opposite window, there was a dark figure standing pressed against the glass. No. It was hard to see clearly, but I looked like— it looked like a man cupping his eyes with his hands to peek inside.

No.

When I tell you I dropped to the floor, I literally hit the deck so hard I knocked the wind out of myself. I immediately started feeling around my pockets for trusty hot pink Razr phone. Oh. I'm so jealous you had one. I didn't.

I never— I don't know if I had a Razr phone either. I can't remember.

Yeah, I didn't have one. But then remembered I had given it to one of the boys so they could play games while getting ready for bed. Big oh shit.

Yeah.

So there I was, flat as a pancake on the kitchen floor, hiding from whoever was outside. My friends and I consider ourselves tough, cold-hearted, cool teens, but in that moment, I felt more terror than I had ever felt before, and deeply regretted ever acting badass.

Yeah.

After a few minutes on the floor and gathering some newfound bravery in the dark, if only for the kiddos, I bolted upstairs to retrieve my phone. The kids were already in their beds; they shared a room. They preferred to be together, even though the house had plenty of rooms. Like, come on.

That's cute.

I shut their door, telling them to keep the lights off, and they could watch their little box TV as long as they wanted, but to please not come out. Back in the hallway, I tried both parents' cell phones, but both went straight to voicemail.

Okay.

That's so unsafe.

That's not good. What do you do? 2008, it's a financial crisis.

Trying not to blow this out of proportion, I sat down on the top step to get a grip. That's when I heard the sliding glass door open downstairs.

No!

Followed by footsteps. I decided that now is a great time to blow things out of proportion. Y'all. I frantically dialed 911 and practically whisper-screamed to the operator that there was a man in the home I was babysitting. be sitting in and to hurry the fuck up.

Yeah.

The footsteps were getting closer, and I was just frozen in fear at the top of the stairs. I could hear the man reach the bottom of the staircase, slowly start walking up, and approach the landing hallway at the stairs.

Go get a knife.

The stairs were an L-shape, so he couldn't see straight up to me until he turned at the landing.

Get a knife.

Not knowing what to do, I— get a knife.

Get a knife.

I slid backwards off the top step towards the wall and hit my tailbone hard on a piece of plastic.

That's not what I told you to do.

It's not getting a knife. No. Shit, I thought. He definitely heard that. At this point, the man had practically reached the top of the stairs. I guess he was not planning on being met by a terrified teen girl. All of a sudden, from behind my back, a voice yelled, pull it! I had backed my way—

Oh no.

Into a freaking Bop-It.

Oh my God.

Neither I nor Mr. Intruder was expecting this.

Hey, weird things can become a weapon when you need them to.

I was gonna say.

And that's a pretty good weapon.

A Bop-It is a Bop-It is a Bop-It. Yeah, Bop his head. Okay, whatever way you gotta use that, you use it.

Yeah, bop his head right in.

And you know what? She took a split second to grab the Bop-It and swung it as hard as she could right into his shins.

Oh, in the shin? That was kind of smart.

Right? More shocked and confused than injured, he lost his footing, turned around, and started booking it down the steps, all while the Bop-It man was politely asking us to select a game mode.

Oh, sus.

I truly do not know what came over me, but armed with a Bop-It, I suddenly had a surge of confidence. I ran down the stairs after him screaming absolute nonsense at the top of my lungs. In hindsight, not great. In the moment, felt right.

Yeah, whatever.

The man took off out the back sliding door and into the woods. Oh

my God!

Right around then, the cops and the kids' parents were pulling into the driveway. I screamed and pointed in the direction he ran, and the police took off after him. Turns out he was the adult son of another neighbor who returned back and had been squatting in their shed out back. I guess he figured no one was home when he saw the parents' car pull out of the driveway, and since he had the lights off— he— we had the lights off, he assumed the kids were gone too.

So he was just like, bopping LOL into their houses when they were gone?

Yeah! Ew! Yeah, no. You gotta get some cameras.

What the fuck? And also, like, why— like, the adults that have another neighbor, go live at your own house.

Exactly.

Don't live at my house.

Thankfully, the boys never left their room again— absolute angels— and didn't hear a thing, like, over SpongeBob. Anyways, this was actually written up in the town paper. My mom has a copy of it, and if I find it, I'll send it to you. They left out the bop it part, which in my opinion is the finest work. Yeah, that's bullshit. But hey, can't win 'em all, right? Thanks for reading my tale. Keep it weird.

I would never babysit again.

I would too, not babysit again. And

on Halloween night—

Sorry.

Is your eyeball okay?

Sorry, I keep getting a glob of blood in my eye. Oh no.

Your eye looks healthy.

Oh, good.

Remember when I poked your eye the other night? Your eye looks healthy. Your eye looks healthy. I literally shoved my— She touched my brain. No, I don't— I went to hug someone and I'm over the top, clearly. My nail went into the corner of her—

Literally? Up and like literally I said, oop! Like it was literally like that thing of like you touch 2 neurons together and like something happened.

No, I felt things you should never feel with your bare hands.

Like I'm pretty sure I like did something weird with each other.

You know what though? My nails must be really clean because I do wash my hands a lot and I always like really go underneath them so as to not get the flu and be yucky. So the fact that you didn't get any kind of eye disease from my nails is pretty impressive.

It is pretty impressive.

Pretty impressive. All right, shall we move on?

Let's move on. That was a good one.

That was a really good one. And honestly, again, like, really, I told you to get a knife, but I underestimated you with that bop. Yeah, it's true. Good, good use of weapon. Okay, tale number 2, The Strange Events of Curdle Quick Falls.

Curdle Quick Falls?

Curdle Quick

and the Strange Events of Curdle Quick Falls. I can't— Sounds like something I want to listen to.

I can't decide. Yeah, I want to listen to that a lot. The door just closed, so that was scary. Um, was the door open? Questions.

Who can be sure? Questions we don't have the answer to.

How do like drag queens survive when they have like long wigs on like this and like they have to like turn their heads?

I know.

Like, you can't be quite—

They're better than all of us, to be quite honest.

Yeah, queens forever. Um, but yeah, I can't decide if I like how curdle quick feels in my mouth or not.

Curdle quick. I don't like it in my mouth.

I don't think I like it either.

But it sounds scary.

Anyways.

Because it's curdling quick.

Curdle quick. Okay.

Curdle is a disgusting word.

It really is because you picture it.

Much worse than moist, I think.

Yeah, curdle is— curdle should be outlawed. Yeah. Well, that's the that on that.

That is the that on that.

If you can see my yoga pants— no, you can't.

Sorry, I'm gonna put my little thing over here.

So, hey weirdos, it's Boom Boom Sauce Daniel again!

Hell yeah, Boom Boom Sauce Daniel!

I love Boom Boom Sauce Daniel.

We tried Boom Boom Sauce.

I was gonna say, when we went to Pennsylvania, we tried it. Here's the thing. I didn't think it was like incredible.

I thought it was really good. Yeah. It just didn't bother my stomach at all.

I— you know what, I will say I didn't try nearly enough because I am a Daniel and I would have shit my pants.

You would have. So I think you just needed more.

Maybe I needed more.

We'll go back to Pennsylvania.

I personally really like the Wendy's Signature Sauce.

That is pretty good.

I'm obsessed with it right now.

I really like the Domino's Slice Sauce.

I really like that too, and I think it's actually similar to the Wendy's Signature Sauce.

Sauce.

Sauce with Ash and Alayna. Okay, it's Boom Boom Sauce Daniel again. Hell yeah, Daniel. First, I almost shit my pants again when I was driving home from work and heard you guys—

Stop shitting your pants, Daniel.

Never stop shitting your pants. And heard you guys read my last listener tale. You guys made my day.

Aw.

As for my husband, this was the first time he heard this story, and I'm officially not allowed to eat Boom Boom Sauce anymore. Don't worry, I have connections. Haha. Oh, and also, I feel like it was absolutely rude of me not to share my pumpkin spice espresso martini recipe. So I promise every time I submit a listener tale, I will include a cocktail recipe to go with it.

Wow. Daniel. Daniel forever.

Anywho, I saw that you two were looking for Halloween tales and oh boy, do I have one for you.

I bet you do.

Actually, I have two. However, I'm gonna send you one now and another later because these two stories are on completely different spectrums. One involves a Ouija board and the other involved Disney characters. Whoa. I promise you when I send the other one, you'll understand. For this listener tale, we're going to have a little bit of a history lesson, but also we're going to take a very dark turn. Today our cocktail is called Demise. Whenever you see a word in bold, italicized, or underlined, take a sip.

Ooh.

Okay, so this is Daniel's recipe: 2 ounces of vodka, 2 ounces of cranberry juice, 1 ounce of cherry juice. Combine all of the ingredients together in a shaker, fill it with ice, and strain it. Shake it and then strain it into a shot glass evenly. And only do that if you're 21 or over. Yay. Okay, so I felt like, um, never mind. So pour yourself a drink, buckle up, and here we go. Deep in the rolling hills of central New York lies— oh, the Catskill Mountains. Ooh. In the 1760s, the Native American trails were used by European settlers to branch out and build farmland and sanctuaries during the Revolution. Many of these farmlands became thriving towns today. However, there is one village that was lost or forgotten.

Dun dun dun.

Dun dun dun. However, there's one village that was lost or forgotten. It's not even possible to find it on the map.

Oh no.

It could barely be classified as ruins. Now, what happened here? I've been asking myself this for years and I still don't have any answers. I've searched all over for answers on what happened to this village, but it's as if it's been erased from history completely. It was Halloween morning, 2009. I love that we're going chronologically. 2009. Because last— it was last tale, it was Halloween 2008.

Yeah. Look at that. Look at us.

Is the next one 2010, Deborah? Wow, fired.

Sure.

She said, I don't fucking know.

Did that on purpose.

I was a senior in high school and a group of friends and I decided to enjoy what was left of the fall foliage and go on a hiking and camping trip. This would probably be our last one before we went off to college next year. Our group includes me, Daniel, Avalon, Sierra, Trent, Marcus, and April.

That's a cool group.

I like that. I won't list last names for privacy reasons. So while we were packing, we made sure to bring all the essentials: tents, food, first aid kits, sleeping bags, flashlights, water, etc. Because it was Halloween, Sierra thought it would be fun to bring a Ouija board. You never know when you might need it. April brought holy water, sage, and incense because she didn't want any of— want any of that bad juju or fuckery in her tent.

Okay.

Now, we couldn't decide where to go hiking because we've been out to most of the hiking spots in the Catskills. So we decided to just get in my friend's car, drive through the area until we found a random hiking trail that we hadn't been to before. And after 3 hours of driving, we finally came across an unknown parking area. Beyond it was a hiking trail. This looked like a perfect place to stop. We made sure we brought a map and compass with us and placed a spot on the map as we, as where we parked, as to where we parked our car. I got through that. Thank you for being with me. Good job. Thank you for being here today.

Thank you for being here today.

As we began the hike, we agreed to stay on the trail. No detours. I feel like somebody made a detour. After 3 hours of hiking, we decided to stop and take a 10-minute break. We broke out the snacks, lit up a joint, and we all start— we all just took in the beautiful autumn day. Suddenly, we heard the faint sound of running water. We noticed it was coming from the east side of the trail. So we decided to leave a muffin. Haha. Yes, a muffin on a rock so we could locate where we were. A muffin? What if somebody eats that muffin?

Am I missing like an animal? Like a euphemism or something like that?

No, it says, haha. Yes, a muffin.

Just like an actual muffin? All right. I thought I was just old and I was missing something.

What if an animal eats that muffin though, you guys?

If I was an animal, I would eat that muffin.

I am an animal and I did eat that muffin.

I'm going to go eat that muffin. Retroactively? Yeah. Considering

the muffin ate,

I'm gonna make some muffins actually, now that we're talking about them.

What does he say in Mean Girls? Is your muffin buttered?

Buttered? Oh yeah.

Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? I watched that movie far too young.

What does she say? Go

shave your back. Bye Jason. You're— which, yeah, you can go shave your back now. Bye Jason. Uh, all right, so we walked east for about 20 minutes after placing a muffin and came across an enormous stunning waterfall. Stunning. Stunning. It was so beautiful, we decided this would be the perfect time to go skinny dipping. Ooh, frisky. Frisky. I've never done that. You didn't answer. I haven't either. I was like, Mommy's thinking about it.

I really haven't.

Without hesitation, we all stripped and jumped into the pool of water at the bottom of the waterfall. It was so fucking cold, but it felt so nice. I— it honestly felt and smelled like the purest water I've ever seen. We can come back here for drinking water! I screamed. I took a sip and it tasted so pure. The lovely Marcus chimed in, sorry, I peed. Ew, you drank Marcus's pee.

Sorry, I'm sticking to myself.

Oh, I can, I can literally feel that for you. Welp, that was lovely while it lasted. We finally got out of the water, uh, after half an hour and then realized we didn't bring any fucking towels. So what did we do? We stopped, dropped, and rolled until we were somewhat dry.

What, Daniel?

Daniel, you had me at blue cheese sauce. You lost me at rolling in the woods to get dry. You've lost me, Daniel. I hope you get me back.

Daniel, I'm gonna need you to lay out the logic of that.

You rolled around in the dirt?

Yucka!

Daniel.

I don't like that at all. I thought I felt sticky.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, we love you still. We

love you, Daniel, but that was a choice.

Then you guys got dressed and headed west toward the trail.

Dirty.

Dirty. Very dirty. Much like myself. Uh, after half an hour of walking west, we did not come across the muffin that we had left out because Ash ate it retroactively. We left it right on top of the rock that was located between 2 small oak trees. We did not find that rock or the trees. Freaking out, we decided to walk north until we came across another trail. There had to be one out here. It was about 5 o'clock and the sun was starting to go down.

The sun.

Not the sun.

Oh my God.

We knew we'd better make camp and get a fire going. Still without a trail, we came across an opening in the forest. However, it was unlike any spot we'd ever seen before. All around us, there were rotten, disheveled pieces of debris that looked like the remains of log cabins.

Ugh.

In the center of the opening was a giant circular stone. What was this place?

Don't go there.

That's giving like, Wrong Turn.

Yeah, it really is.

Before it could get dark, we set up all our tents, built a small fire where the stone was, and had dinner. We split up and walked around—

So fun. You're like, yeah, let's just set where this stone is that looks ominous and ritualistic.

Let's use it for like a dinner table.

Let's have dinner there. Daniel.

Daniel. We split up and walked around the area. Oh no, not your eye.

It's gonna happen a few times.

Just keep, just keep swimming.

It is what it is.

If you want to I don't know if this will help, but if you want to spray some setting spray on that towel and then kind of like—

I think I'm okay.

Okay. Thank you. If you want to spray yourself with setting spray, it might stop moving.

I feel like

it might

make it move again. I don't really know. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't, I don't know how it'll react.

Yeah, I don't blame you. Okay, so we split up and walked around the area to check out what these logs were used for. Maybe we could use it for firewood. Avalon, Sierra, and I went one way. Trent, Marcus, and April went the other way. One of the habitats was still somewhat, uh, together. It was falling apart completely, but not as bad as the others. We crawled inside a dilapidated building and looked around. Daniel, the boom boom sauce is one choice. This is another. I think your husband's gonna be more mad about this.

Yeah.

There was more debris, stones, and even a pistol. I put the pistol back. I ain't playing with guns, even if it is ancient. And we crawled back out. Someone's gonna kill you.

Yeah.

We walked back toward the campsite and I stepped on one of the large pieces of stone. On it was carved, Curdle Quick Falls. Ooh. You guys, get your asses over here! I could hear April scream. Something wasn't right. She had a weird tone in her voice. We ran in her direction but couldn't find them— or in their direction. We called for them and followed their voices. We ran further into the woods. By now it was fully dark and we were looking for their flashlights. Finally, we found them and they're looking to the ground in a state of horror. We all flashed our lights to the ground and what we saw turned our skin cold. Teeth. Hundreds of teeth. Human teeth all over the ground. I know it was human because Marcus pulled out a random bag of raccoon teeth, don't ask, and said, well, it's not raccoon.

No, no, no. We're not gonna say don't ask.

I kind of love that. I kind of love it.

We're not gonna say don't ask, Daniel. You're not gonna say he pulled out another bag bag of another kind of teeth. Don't ask about it, though.

Don't ask.

I'm asking.

That's not cool.

I'm asking, Daniel. Just be cool. What is that? I will not be cool. Don't be uncool. I am not cool. I'm not cool. That's why they poured pig's blood on me. I'm not cool. What's with the raccoon teeth? Tell me!

There's a bag of them.

Why he just had a bag of them on his person!

Do you remember when we thought we stumbled across a bunch of human teeth?

Yes!

It's— let's see how to tell this story. So it was—

How do you tell this story? I'm telling it.

I'm telling it now. It was topical.

It was topical.

It is topical because it was Halloween. It was. And we had a space where we were filming. It was like, what, that was probably like 5 years ago now.

Yeah, it was Halloweek.

Yeah, it was Halloweek when we did like the Australia show and then we did like a Europe show. Yeah. So we had like 3 days of shows. And I can't explain why, but there was fake teeth in one of our bags. And neither of us knew it.

And neither of us put it

there. 'Cause they weren't, they weren't, yeah, neither of us put it there. Somebody else put them there. And it also wasn't a prank. No. Just figure that out. But at some point, somebody's bag like broke and we were packing up to leave.

And there was just human teeth on the floor.

And it had to have been like 2 in the morning. Yeah. And I think Drew was like, Uh, I just found a tooth. And we were like, what? We were like, we know who lives here, but like, they wouldn't have teeth here.

They wouldn't have teeth just scattered on the floor.

And then we figured out whose fake teeth they were, and we don't talk to them anymore. And that's the tea. Don't ask. Oh, your eye's getting a little squinty, Mama.

Oh, it's because it just stuck together. Oh,

okay, okay. Oh man. So after seeing those teeth, I had no clue how I was gonna sleep tonight. It had to be shared.

We're just out here.

I thought to myself, this place looks like it's been abandoned for at least 100 years. Of course we're safe. We walked back to the campsite and sat by the fire. You just sat? Like, you didn't just go home?

You just found some human teeth.

And then you sat by the fire?

You guys are, are unflappable in a way I can't describe.

Unflappable? Listen to this shit. As we sat on the stone, Sierra pulled out the Ouija board. Anyone up for some Halloween fun?

Honestly, at this point, sure, let's go.

I'd say, mama, no!

Why not? We're here, we already have teeth.

I did just do my first Ouija board. You did? I did. And, um, check out 2 Girls, 1 Ghost feed on Saturday. Yeah, on their Halloween. Yeah, if you want to find out more about that. Uh, every— this is crazy though. Everyone else was enthusiastic. I, however, was not. Not after seeing those teeth.

The right response, Dani.

That's valid. If you see teeth in the woods and you can confirm that they're human because you have raccoon teeth to compare them against, don't do a Ouija board as your next step.

I also like that, well, they're not raccoon teeth. So the only other plausible explanation is human.

Well, maybe somebody was like,

Raccoon? No.

No, they look more like human. They look more like yours. Oh man. So April wasn't too thrilled, but she took a few shots of tequila and it put her into the festive spirit. But in the spirit of Halloween, why not? So we set up the board and we placed our fingers on it. Is there anyone trying to communicate? Sierra asked. We waited a few minutes. Nothing. She tried again. Nothing. April pulled out the incense and lit it, hoping it would help. Let me try, Avalon demanded. Is there anyone trying to communicate?

Come on.

Hello? I did just burp through that. Hello? I'm trash. Nothing happened on the board, but it instantly got much colder. It had to have dropped at least 15 degrees. As we all let go of the planchette, the wind picked up and knocked the game off the stone.

Oh no.

We chased after it and when we caught up, there it was lying face up with the planchette hovering over yes. Everyone thought it was coincidental, but not me.

Not Daniel.

We took the board back over to the stone and set it up again. We were trying to determine what to ask next when I finally thought of the perfect question. We all placed our fingers back on the planchette and I asked, what is your name? We waited patiently for a few minutes before the board started to move very slowly. A-B-I-G-A-L-E. Abigail with an E.

Oh, I like that. Abigail.

Abigail. We all thought somebody was moving it, but we all denied it. What happened to you? I asked. We waited patiently again, and this time we waited for about 10 minutes. As we waited—

Patience.

We noted that the fire was— we noticed that the fire was getting smaller and smaller. What happened to you? I asked again. We kept waiting for a response, but nothing. Suddenly the fire got so small it eventually went out. We sat there with our fingers shaking on the planchette with nothing but the night surrounding us. Nothing but dead silence. Uh, no wind sitting, stirring the trees, no moonlight, no sounds coming from the wildlife in the woods, nothing but midnight air chilling us to the bone.

Cinematic, Daniel.

Bitch.

Cinematic. Gorgeous.

Suddenly we hear a light movement coming from behind Sierra. As we look in her direction, we see nothing. But it wasn't nothing, for when we all looked at Sierra, we all saw the faint condensation of breathing over her shoulder. Ew. It was heavy.

I learned about that when I saw Mark Rober. Condensation of breathing? Why you can see your breath. It's because you're putting too many water particles into the air and it can't hold it, so it makes a cloud. Oh,

the more you know.

Science.

Science with Carrie. That's cool. It was heavy and it was pronounced because the air couldn't handle it. I freaked the absolute—

Wasn't up for the task.

Wasn't up. You can't expect air to just do everything. I freaked the absolute fuck out. Whipped out my flashlight and pointed it at Sierra. Nothing. There was nothing behind her.

Ooh.

Fuck this! April screamed. The correct reaction. She got her sage holy water and started blessing everything. We all took a shot of holy water. Are you supposed to do that?

Are you supposed to?

What is in holy water?

Is that better holy water?

I mean, you guys already rolled in the dirt of the woods, so.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, why not?

But we were all afraid that April would probably waterboard us with that shit.

Valid.

At this point, it was time for fucking bed. Enough spooky shit for one night. We got in our tents. Me, Avalon, and Sierra shared one. Trent, Marcus, and April shared the other, as we all went— and we all went to bed. I know I wasn't going to sleep well after that, so I popped a melatonin, and after about half an hour, I fell asleep. Now, this is probably the most fucked up dream I've ever had in my life. I was dressed in colonial clothes, sitting at a table inside of a house with a family of 5. There was a man, a woman, and 2 children. All of us were sitting at the table eating dinner. In the corner, there was an old woman slouching in her chair toward the fire. After dinner, the man and woman put their kids to bed. Good night, Abigail.

Oh, with an E.

With an E, they said to the old woman and went up to bed while I sat there at the table. The woman remained in her chair. After a while, she stood up, grabbed a knife and lit a candle, put the knife in her dress and walked away. Stay ready, I guess.

Okay. You never know.

Always be prepared. Yeah. That's what our last listener could have used, a knife in her dress. When she came back, she was followed by the 2 children. Wouldn't it be so funny if she had a bop-it in her dress? Old-timey colonial woman. When she came back, she was followed by the 2 children, but they didn't stop at the table. They walked right out the front door. Huh. I don't like it.

I don't know about Abigail.

Abigail.

Abigail.

I stood up and I swallowed blood. Sorry. I couldn't let it go. It was great. Abigail. I don't know about Abigail.

I'm swallowing blood. Okay.

up and followed them, and when I walked outside, the old lady was surrounded by a large group of children. Gladys?

Uh-oh.

The parents, I'm guessing, were all asleep. She smiled at all the children, and they smiled back. Then she looked directly at me, as if I had no business being there. After making direct eye contact with me, she smiled, turned away, and walked into the woods with the children all following her.

She's the Pied Piper.

She's Gladys. Walking through the woods, the old woman pulled out the knife, cut her hand— cuts her hand, and begins brushing her blood across the skin of each of the children.

I don't like it. I don't like this.

Then they were walking off as if in a trance. After a few moments, they came across a waterfall. Walking toward the waterfall, the full moon was shining down on all of them. I hid behind the trees. That's what I would do too. The children gathered around the old woman in the light of the moon. All of them staring at the moon in a trance with a handprint of blood on them. Gazing at the children, then looking to the moon, the old woman broke her concentration and then looked directly at me, again smiling. She let out a cackle, ahahaha, and then she blew out the candle. Screams! We were all awoken by the sound of screams. Screams! We were all awoken by the sound of screaming coming from every direction. We jumped out of our sleeping bags, ran out of the tents, and looked around panicking. We shined our flashlights all over the place looking for the source of the screams. We had all heard it, every single one of us. I looked down at my shirt and I was completely soaked with sweat. My shirt was absolutely soaked. Trying to calm down, we all decided to squeeze into one tent for the rest of the night.

None of us got any sleep whatsoever. Finally, the sun was rising. We wanted to get the fuck out of there as fast as we could. We shoved the tents, sleeping bags, and everything into our packs as fast as possible, got the compass out, and decided to walk south until we found something. After a few hours, the impossible happened. We found the rock with the fucking muffin on top of it, because Ash was only kidding and she didn't retroactively eat it, sitting right between the two trees.

I would have ate it.

Fuck that muffin! I screamed.

Fuck that muffin!

That sounds like a beautiful—

It's not the muffin's fault.

No one touched it. No bugs, no animals, nothing. I picked up the muffin and threw it at the tree just to let off some steam. We finally knew where— uh, we finally knew where we were and could head back to the car safely. We were all so physically tired and emotionally drained from what had happened, but we were alive. We knew where we were and we could make it home safely. I sat beside the rock for a few moments thanking my lucky fucking stars when I noticed something strange again.

Another strange thing?

The rock that the muffin was on top of looked like it had been burned. Then I looked closer and what I saw made my fucking blood run cold. Carved on the rock read Abigail Skinner, 1774.

With an E.

With an E. Absolutely fucking not. I have never hauled ass so fucking hard in my life. I honestly could have won the Boston Marathon with how fast I was running. On top of that, I had a giant pebble in my shoe. I was sure my foot was bleeding at this point, but we finally got to the fucking car and I could breathe. I sat on the ground, took my pack off, and put my head between my legs. It got to the point where I was hyperventilating, thankful to be alive, but I could not believe what had just happened.

No.

Then we began the journey back home. Thankfully, Trent had some of his hash brownie left over, and I gobbled that down. I was finally feeling a little more relaxed as we drove home. After an hour, we stopped for gas. While we went inside to grab snacks, I stayed outside and filled up. As the car was filling up, I slid my shoe off to see if I was bleeding. There was more blood than I had expected. I quickly bandaged it up with a first aid kit and then went to get the rock out of my— and then went to grab the rock out of my shoe. Only I didn't pull out a rock. Nope. I pulled out a tooth.

A raccoon tooth!

I think human.

Raccoon.

Human. I've been haunted by it and scarred by this for years.

Oh, he had a tooth in his— I'm sorry, I blew past that. He had a tooth in his fucking shoe. You had a tooth in your shoe?

Oh, and it was probably like one of those like, like really bad, um, like, like rooted ones.

Like the ones that are like thick, like crazy, like long.

Oh my God, ew, I hate it.

No, I don't— you don't recover from that.

Yeah, I didn't think something like this would be possible, but when I looked further into it, you can only imagine how many villages have been lost. not just in the Catskills, but in all of New England. Anywho, if you read this— He's got us. Thank you so much. Below, I will attach my pumpkin spice latte espresso martini recipe for you all to enjoy.

Daniel comes bearing gifts.

Period. 2 cocktails for one.

Yeah.

Thank you for being such amazing people. No, thank you, Daniel.

Daniel, we love you.

Stay weird, make good choices, and don't end up on Forensic Files. If you do, give me a shout-out. It is my bedtime show. Remember, no Friday is a bad Friday unless you are Jesus. And have the best Halloween ever. All my love, Daniel. Or as my mom calls me, Dipshit Danielle. The shoe fits. Your stories are cray cray.

You're also an incredible storyteller. You really are. I don't know why I can't speak, but you're an amazing storyteller.

A tooth in your shoe, Danielle.

A tooth in your shoe goes crazy.

It's like a pox on your house, but it's a tooth in your shoe.

A tooth in your shoe. I'm gonna start saying that.

I like that better than a pox on your house. I do too. Yeah, that's good.

Oh my God, I can't wait for this.

Yeah, what is that? It's hair. Oh! That looked so disgusting!

Sorry, it was bothering me. Uh, it's also sticky here.

Oh my god, you have a giant glob just like coming down from your chin.

Oh, do I? It's dry though. Oh, I feel it.

No, there's another one. Oh, there you go. Oh, right there. Oh, oh, oh, there they all are. Wow. Okay, your turn.

Okay!

Okay, Kerri!

So, this one's called Halloween Listener Tale.

Straight to the point.

I like that. Uh, hi weirdos, my name is Morgan. Feel free to use my name.

Oh, you have a big glop coming down from your nose. Oh, there it goes, there it goes, there it goes! It's going!

Bloop! Oh, I feel it.

Ew! It looks like a booger!

It fell.

Ew. Okay.

I just discovered your podcast last month and I'm obsessed, like binging constantly now. It's a tale. Thankfully, I listened to a recent episode encouraging to send listener tales and wanted to share my spooky tale with you.

Do it, Morgan.

So this happened when I was a teenager, like 7th grade, I think. It was October, so it was in full spooky season mode.

Was it 2010, Morgan?

It was. I'm— that's canon. It better be. I was sleeping over a friend's house and her mom was a nurse that worked inpatient at a local hospital. We, of course, were staying up late, binging on too much sugar and watching scary movies, as teens do.

Yeah, girl!

My friend's mom came home from work around 11 PM, and you could tell she just looked kind of on edge. She didn't say anything to us when she walked in and just kind of looked distant. I was pretty close to this friend and her family, so I could instantly tell something was off.

I mean, Halloween as a nurse must absolutely suck.

My friend asked her mom, who we'll call Sandy, what's up, Mom? And she came in and sat down by us, still in her scrubs. Yuck. Don't sit on your couch.

Oh, yeah.

What did he say? Later. Later. Sit on your couch later after you've showered. Nobody yell at me. I also wore scrubs, so I get it.

Yours had like dead people all over them.

Yeah, mine were even worse. Sandy goes, oh, I just kind of had a weird night, and gave us a faint smile. We asked her what happened, and she was reluctant to tell us, but of course, we kept pushing until she finally agreed to let us in. She told us she had an elderly male patient that night who we'll say went by the name of John. John, unfortunately, was not doing well and was sedated much of her shift. She cared for him more of the days— most of his days until he passed away in the early evening. After his family came and said their goodbye, it was time to take John's body to the morgue.

To Elena!

To me. It was part of Sandy's job to assist with cleaning and prepping the body to help transfer. Sandy started removing all of the— his lines and telemetry leads, the lines that monitor heart rate and waves up on the monitor. John's body was taken to the morgue, and Sandy was continuing to clean up the room when all of a sudden, the heart waves on the monitor started again.

No, thank you.

Making a beep every time a wave would form. Again, John was no longer hooked up to the machine. And even if he was, those waves would not be forming, as he had already passed. Sandy said the room felt ice cold.

I don't like it.

Sandy was a pretty deeply religious woman, and she knew that the patient's listed preferred religion was Catholicism. She called the hospital's on-call priest to come to the room and say a blessing. She never expected what would come next.

Oh, bitch.

I love when a priest shows up.

Oh, it's so spooky.

It's gonna get fucked up.

Priests are the spookiest, and they don't even know.

They are. They don't even realize it.

Do you think they do?

I would. If I was a priest, I'd be like, I'm hella spooky.

If you were a priest is a crazy thought. If a lady priest Lena was a priest, everybody.

If I was a priest.

Wow. It's like Beyoncé's If I Was a Girl.

Watch Midnight Mass if you haven't, speaking of priests. I always am yelling about Midnight Mass.

Yeah.

Doesn't get enough love.

If I was a priest.

If I was a priest. Sorry. The priest came to the room and also observed the waveforms on the heart monitor. He began saying a prayer and the waveform started going crazy, increasing in speed, beeping frantically, and when the priest finished, it stopped completely.

Okay.

The priest then asked out loud, is this John? And the monitor displayed a single waveform, letting out a single beep. The priest then stated, I'm going to ask you some more questions. If the answer is yes— why is the priest doing a Ouija board?

I was literally just gonna say, why is he holding a séance?

I need to—

The priest is holding a séance. I have questions. I actually just spit because that's

so wild. The priest is holding a séance! What is happening? Wow. I would be so put off by that. I'd be like, what is going on?

Like, why are you communicating? Especially if you're Catholic. be like, why are you talking to the dead person on Halloween?

So he said, if the answer is yes, give us a single beep, bitch. If the answer is no, give us 2 beeps. The priest began— he didn't say bitch, I did. The priest began asking basic questions. He's a wily priest. So that priest, the wily priest, began asking basic questions such as, is this your birthday? And are you a male? And included questions that both the priest and Sandy knew were incorrect. Oh. The machine provided the correct number of beeps every single time. Sandy said the questioning lasted about 15 minutes until the priest asked one final question, asking, is there anyone that can help you get to the light? The monitor did not beep, but only showed a single flat line, as you would see if someone no longer had a heartbeat. Sandy said that after that, nothing else happened in that room for the rest of the night. As Sandy was driving home, she decided to pray for John and his family, asking God to help John find his way to heaven. She said the entire drive she felt that someone was sitting in the back seat, but every time she looked, nobody was there.

Gross. Ooh, there was a creak.

Yeah, I don't like that. Sandy told us all of this when we got home, and initially my friend and I were like, oh yeah, okay, it's Halloween time, you got us. But something on her face both told us that she was not kidding around at all.

I love that you're like, okay, Sandy.

Okay, Sandy.

All right.

Crazy Sandy. She said good night, and we went downstairs to their finished basement to sleep, but we were not asleep for long. A few hours later, I woke up to their dog whining. As I looked up, the dog was staring up at the wall, looking up at some decorative metal trays that were screwed into the wall. He then started barking, and my friend woke up. We tried to call the dog over to settle him, but he would not move. All of a sudden, we heard a loud noise. Ting, ting, ting, ting. and saw screws fall to the floor along with the decorative metal trays off the wall.

Ew.

We screamed, as there was no way that metal tray would just magically become unscrewed to the wall. No. Sandy and my friend's father came running as they heard the crashing of the metal tray to the floor, followed by our screams. We all huddled together and looked down at the tray, and I see that it's an old Coca-Cola tray that says in big font, thank you. I looked up to Sandy, and she just lets out a smile. I like that. I like the way of describing that, letting out a smile. Like, you keep it in sometimes.

Yeah, I like it.

She told us she truly believed that was John saying, thank you for the care and for the prayers. After this experience, my friends said they never had anything else happen like that in the home and never felt anything malicious. I myself now work in a hospital and have had multiple experiences after a patient passes. I think hospitals can sometimes be viewed as hold— a holding place between life and afterlife. I like to think that John was able to cross over, and Sandy was a contributor to that process.

I like that.

Thanks for listening, and hope you all had the spookiest October ever!

You know what? It wasn't spooky enough.

Here's the thing, it really wasn't.

We did it in 2 weeks.

October. It really wasn't.

It was busy. It was a good October.

It was a great October. It was just very busy.

Yeah.

Um, also, I have something to say about this. Um...

I'm nervous.

So... When the freaky-ass priest said, can someone help you cross over? And the line was like, no. What if that was somebody being like, don't, don't help him?

Well, they didn't— you don't know. It didn't say anything because remember, exactly, it was one beep for yes, maybe it was like, no, maybe it didn't know.

And then we just like crossed him over.

Yeah.

I'm just devil's advocating.

It's true. Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know if she like meant to cross him over. I think she was just like,

Yeah, so I think Sandy was pure of heart and intention.

She was just like, whatever you want, dog.

I don't know about that priest, though.

The priest was not pure of intention. I got vibes. I actually don't know if he was a priest.

I don't think that was a priest.

I think that was like maybe a custodian in costume. I think that was Zach Bagans that you brought in. Zach Bagans in costume. Tale number 4, Alayna. It's time.

It's time.

It starts with saying, wazzup? That's my favorite thing from Scary Movie. What's up?

Oh, what a time.

And howdy from down in the Deep South, Texas. Texas. And you wrote it that way, I didn't say it like that. Yes, I spell it that way on purpose, but that is a story for another podcast. Haha. You can use my name, it's Luna.

Ooh, pretty name.

That's a gorgeous name.

The moon.

You mysterious and mystical maidens of the macabre. That felt so good coming out of my mouth. You're gorgeous. Mysterious and mystical maidens of the macabre. I love alliteration. Have gotten me through 2 family losses, 2 moves, an engagement, and a pregnancy.

Whoa.

Without your consent, diligent, often— uh, it's constant.

I was just gonna say, without my consent.

I was like, without our consent, what'd you do?

I was like, what the hell?

Without your constant, diligent, often grueling work, many of us would likely have gone insane over the past half a decade.

I appreciate that.

Thank you. You're truly a blessing to those of us who enjoy true crime and spooky stories but need a little dose of the warm and fuzzies. Um, so la la la, we are awesome. And but enough of the adoration, lol.

Lol.

I'm here to share a special Halloween haunting with you that my friend and I not only witnessed together but have tried desperately since to convince ourselves it wasn't real.

It was real.

I have waited many moons, many lunas, to tell you this tale, as I didn't want to believe in the supernatural entities or cryptid creatures of the unknown. It was a very dark night All Hallows' Eve. And my friends, we call, well, we can call her Kathy for this story. Kathy's parents decided to host a party and my friend could invite whoever, but we lived in the middle of the countryside and not many people our age had cars. We were still in high school at the time, but luckily I had an older friend with a car who came to pick me up and take me over to Kathy's. We'll call this friend Wesley.

Wesley.

So being the only teens at the party, we inevitably got bored sitting around and watching adults drink and have fun. So, of course, we decided to go do some spooky stuff. I mean, it's Halloween in the sticks, for fuck's sake. Needless to say, we only got to the spooky place— uh, we go to the only spooky place we know, the over-century-old cemetery behind the auto parts shop. Now, keep in mind, this was over a decade ago, back in the 2010s. Oh, we got to the 2010s.

The 2010s. We made it

chronological. So, we're talking headstones that date back to the late 1700s and early 1800s. There are even infant graves and family plots. Oh, that's sad. I hate that. My friend Kathy and I are quite witchy and spiritual, her even more so than I, who keeps a healthy amount of skepticism usually. This event, however, made me a true believer in dark energies and entities being capable of manifesting themselves. See, because as we slowly branch off and explore the cemetery, Kathy bending down to examine the graves closer and whisper prayers over them, Wesley playing guitar and sauntering around casually as the designated driver, along for fun.

Wesley is a vibe.

Yeah.

Walking around a cemetery with a guitar, just strumming his guitar.

I feel we all knew that one kid in high school who always had an instrument with them, and usually it was a guitar.

I— wow, Wesley. Okay, okay, Wesley.

Okay, Wesley, we see you.

We see you, Wesley.

I, on the other hand, was drawn to a large tree with a solitary headstone beneath it. A CD was hanging down from one of the branches above the headstone, catching the light from the auto Auto Parts store. I don't know why I said Auto Parts. Auto Parts.

Auto Parts.

Auto Parts. As well as my attention, like a beacon calling to me silently in an otherwise pitch-black surrounding. Oh, okay. Then I notice an oddly shaped black mass huddled behind the headstone, and I freeze, my skin prickling as the hairs stand on end. My now fully alert and widened eyes fixate on the 2 red dots centered in what looks like a head shape atop the massive crouching shadow. Huh. What? What did you just say?

I don't know about that.

I call Kathy over and she instantly notices my panicked tone, so she immediately joins me at my side. That's when I point to what I'm staring at, my eyes now watering with tears of absolute terror as my mind attempts to process what I'm seeing, but my logic refuses to accept What's that? I whispered to Kathy, and her demeanor mirrors my own. She grabs my arm as the CD is caught by the wind and starts swaying above the figure hidden in the darkness. But her notice of it seems to cause a reaction, and it stands up. What? I've never seen anything like it before. An almost Slenderman type of shadowy figure looming, almost as large as the entire trunk of the tree beside it. it, still crouching to avoid branches above it as it draws closer to us. And we grab one another's hand and turn tail screaming and— turn tail, is that supposed to say that?

Yeah, turn tail is like turn around.

Like turn your booty.

Yeah.

Uh, turn tail screaming and running to the car. Of course Wesley's confused and still watching from the cemetery.

He's just— he's strumming a song.

He's just playing a jam.

Yeah, Wesley's in the vibe.

We jump into the car and slam our door Me in the front passenger, Kathy behind me in the back seat. We were frantic, frightened half to death, and pleading for Wesley to get in the car and drive us out of there. Then the parking lot lights to the auto parts store next to us turn off, and we are shrouded in darkness once again. Mind you, it's after midnight at this point, and no other cars are around. Mm-hmm. The closest residential neighborhood was miles away, not close enough to get by— to get to by foot for sure. And we didn't hear or see any signs of anyone else in the area. Yeah, if Wesley had left the keys in the car, I would have likely driven off without him at this rate. Damn. But he casually walks over, still strumming his guitar.

Okay, that would get annoying.

I would kill him with that guitar.

Wesley, I'm over it. Yeah, I'm over it now.

All the while, he's calling out to whatever spirits or entities may be lingering and apologizing for disturbing them.

Come on.

Yeah, you're annoying, Wesley. But Kathy and I are just yelling for him to get in so we can leave.

As you should.

He has one foot in the guitar,

That's good old

Wednesday. He basically does.

Good old Wednesday with one foot in the guitar at all times.

One foot in the car, guitar in the trunk, and he's still apologizing for bothering the spirits.

Stop it, you're annoying me.

And wishing them well when the lights all turn back on again. And some— and that seems to be enough to convince him to leave, but it's too late. Kathy and I can sense it. There is something in the back seat with her. All we do is exchange knowing looks, and I attempt to reach back and hold her hand. It's a bit of a drive— You're just like, I'm gonna hold your hand about this?

Yeah, I mean, can you try to kick whatever this is out of the car?

It's a bit of a drive back to her house, and we remain nearly silent the whole time. Once we get back, we sage the car and ourselves, but despite our best efforts, we both had some intense nightmares for a couple weeks, and Kathy still felt as if something bad had been following her around her Ooh. That's fucked up.

That's really fucked up.

There's no solution there.

Yeah, that's it.

Oh!

It's just like, sorry.

If you read this far, I thank you so damn much because this is a story I rejected for years because of how much of a close encounter it felt like at the time. Kathy has since moved to California to pursue a music and modeling career.

Oh, girl.

And I now have a beautiful family not unlike Elena.

Aww. Congrats.

Speaking of the bestselling author, I just bought The Butcher and Wren, and I'm starting on it today.

Hey!

There's 2 more in the series, Mom.

Let's go!

The rainy weather certainly seems appropriate for it.

It does.

If I hear this on the pod, I will squeal like a schoolgirl and run around telling everyone. I'm listening. Hope you enjoyed my spooky tale of the giant shadow creature in an old-ass haunted cemetery that likes to scare girls. Lots of love, light, and laughter. Luna.

Luna!

Babes, those were spooky, fucking weird, fucking scary. Those were good!

Halloween! Halloween!

Tales!

I liked that.

I liked those a lot.

That was fun.

That was fun. I can't wait to take this wig off.

I'm pretty excited to get clean.

I can't even imagine.

Yeah.

I'm gonna put it on like a wound.

But guys, those were great.

They were wonderful.

I

just wanted to do it.

Those were awesome. We love you.

We hope you keep listening.

And we hope you—

Keep it weird! But not so weird that you don't start a podcast to make this your life.

Exactly, and happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Be safe, be careful. Be spooky and have fun.

Get candy and check it and eat it all.

Yay!

Peace.