Transcript of Listener Tales 107: You've got probed!

Hey, weirdos.

I'm Ash. And I'm Elaina.

And this right here is Morbid.

Listener tales, Big Bee.

Brought to you, buy you, for you, from you, and all about you, honey.

It's a little different this week or this month because this This is just an audio version this month. I am terribly sorry. I know. We have the blizzard of the century, and it fucked up some of our technology. Which is not fun. We're a little bit just scrambling here to get some stuff done. So we apologize. We'll be right back to our regularly scheduled video Listener tales next month. And match. And we already have our costumes planned.

They're also really good.

Yeah, they're sitting right next to me right now. Me too. I'm pretty excited. Yeah. So this will just be an audio version. So, yeah, this is going to be like old school Listener tales for one episode.

And just like, so everybody knows we won't have Nicholas on during this one because what we usually do is we put the Nicholas version on YouTube and then the without Nicholas goes out on just regular audio and everywhere else. So since you're just listening, we will not have Nicholas much to our chagrin and probably a lot of other people's. Yeah. But for the people who don't like Nicholas, this one goes out to you. This one goes out to you. And you're still valid.

It's true. We're trying to, we'll please you all, hopefully. Yeah. And one thing I just wanted to point out was we were informed by this person that I'm about to talk to.

It has come to our attention.

It has come to our attention that one of our listener tales that we did about dreams, I think one of them may have used this person's actual dream as their story unless they had the exact same situation, which I don't But either way, this person's name is Sarah James Middleton. You can find her on Instagram, the person who's dream that was possibly taken. Yes. She's on Instagram, and her handle is under the Capricorn Sun. Iconic. So immediately I was like, game, see, game. She shares all this really cool lucid dreaming content, but she shares it because she lucid dreams a lot. And I think she shares it as a catharsis and therapeutic way for her. It felt pretty violating that somebody else took her dream and pretended it was theirs. That's not cool. Don't do that.

Yeah, don't do that, guys.

Have your own dreams. If you're sending us dreams, they should be yours. Yeah. Because obviously, and she was so sweet about it, but I wanted to make sure that she got recognized about this and that she was acknowledged that that was her dream and that you should follow her because she has cool shit on her page.

Elaina told me about this last week and I followed her. Yeah. Some of her stories are wild.

Really wild. She also does amazing costuming and fashion. She's a really cool follow. I really highly suggest you find her. It's Sarah James, Under the Capricorn Sun on Instagram. Again, her stuff is really cool to follow. We just wanted to acknowledge Don't take other people's stuff and pretend it's yours. Yeah. That's plagiarism. I thought we all knew that, but I guess we do have to say something.

Sometimes you just need reminders.

Especially dreams. That can feel very violating. Yeah. Someone stealing your literal dream that your brain came up with. Here's the thing.

Eat a couple of pieces of dark chocolate before bed and you're sure to have some weird dreams that you can write into us about.

And then write into us because we want to hear them. Just don't take someone else's.

Fun experience. Chocolate dreams, write in. There you go.

Love you. But, yeah, Yeah. So it's listener tales time, and I just wanted to say something really quick. Tell me. Fuck the US boys hockey team, the Olympic hockey team. You guys are assholes.

But congratulations to the women.

Congratulations to the women on your gold medal, though. Fuck, yeah. You fucking killed it.

Let's go, girls. Babies, love you. And boys, go home.

So the boys suck. But yeah.

Congrats to Canada on silver. You deserve gold.

Congrats on your silver medal to the men's US, or to men's US, Canada Olympic Hockey Team. That part. Congrats on your silver. You earned it. You earned more.

Anyway. Less about men.

I just had to say that because it's really been pissing me off. Yeah. But Yeah. Let's get into some listener tales because we're going to be talking about some UFOs. Ufos, if you will. Some Ufos, if you listen to... Do you guys remember?

You got probed. You've been probed.

You got probed.

Remember when somebody did art of that?

Oh, that art was awesome.

That was good art. We should try to get that on some merch.

We got to find that art again.

You do have to find that art. It's on some computer somewhere.

It is. But yeah, I think I heard Ufos for the first time on last podcast on the left. Yeah, that makes sense. Shout out for them. But yeah, this is going to be a fun one. I love talking about ufos. I do, too. It's very fun.

Obama was just talking about aliens. He was.

He said that there are aliens.

I mean, and he said that was the first thing he wanted to know when he got to the White House. I have to wonder how many first day presidents are like, okay, aliens, go.

Oh, hell, yeah. That would be my first thing. I'm like, Yes, no. Okay, where are they? Show me. Can you show me?

Show me to me, Rachel. Yeah, truly. All right. Do you want to go first or would you like me to? I'll go first. Oh, my God. Okay.

Let's go first. This one's called Listener Tale by My Very Rational Husband. Oh. Dear Elaina and Ash, my wife, Jill. She says to please use her name. Jill.

Hello, Jill.

She listens to your podcast. Some might say obsessively. Iconic. Love Jill.

Let's go, Jill.

She listens and relistons to your podcast. So to say she is a fan might be an understatement. She has been asking me to write down an encounter I had several years ago. I had another weird thing happen today. So I thought, now that I have two stories, I should take the time to write them down and share them with you.

I love it.

To my experiences, both of which happened in the same neighborhood in which we still live. In fact, both of these stories happened on the same street. We live in the Albuquerque Metro area, and I will call this road, Cy, to protect my location and anonymity. That's always really hard to say.

It's like a Nemo when she's like, N-N-N-N-N- A little about me.

I'm an early bird. Me too now.

Are you this of an early bird?

I like to wake up every morning at 3: 00 AM. No.

That's crazy, my brother.

My brother in Christ.

I don't like to do that. You like to do that?

You are an early bird.

Also, doll, that's not morning.

That's the middle of the night.

Doll, that's the night time. The sun is not up.

Well, you know what? Jill is correct. Jill forever. Because Jill says 3: 00 AM is the devil's hour. It is. But she sleeps safely through it. If I do see the devil, I'll send in another story. Thank you. Honestly, you're a real one. Thank you for that. Anyway, my sleeping schedule is seven days a week, 365 days a year. I'm very dedicated, and it is very rare that I deviate from it. I'd like to tell you that's very healthy. It's super healthy. That's really healthy.

If you want an aura ring, maybe you do. It's probably like, holy shit, health alert.

Good job. That's really good. To go to bed at the same time and wake up around the same time, that's really good.

You're probably going to live a long time.

So during the warmer time of the year, I walk our dogs around the neighborhood between 4: 00 and 5: 00 AM in the morning.

In the winter, we- You lost me there, partner. You lost me there.

I read it the way it was written. This is no shade to you. No, it's not. But what about this. It's honestly, I think it's hilarious. I don't mean for it to be. Because when somebody says 7: 00 PM at night, AM in the morning, it's nothing you did wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. I just saw her face go like, urgh.

I had to point it out. Some of the closest people in my life said that. That is true.

Now, in the winter, we walk a little later in the day. We walk 6: 00 to 7: 00 days a week.

You are healthy. Wake it up, walking, hot girl walking.

You're forgiven. Married to Jill.

Married to Well, great decision.

You're going to live forever, my friend.

Listen to Morbid.

Let's go. Our walk is a little over a mile. Jesus. But it can take us 30 to 45 minutes to complete because the dogs do enjoy sniffing around. I get that. We walk along a mesa. I said it right without looking at the phonetic spelling, everybody.

Okay, Mensa.

But thank you for that phonetic spelling. That has wide open and rough spaces, flat, sandy, and dotted with scrubby sage brush. We don't see many people or cars, and to be honest, I love that part of the day. I also love really early morning.

I love that part of the early morning when there's nobody else awake.

It feels like we have the whole world to ourselves. I also don't wear Airpods or headphones or listen to music during my walks. Very smart. I usually only take my Apple Watch in case of emergencies, but I like to have this time to unplug since I work with technology all day being in IT. That's really smart. While on my walks, I've had a few run-ins with coyotes, owls, raccoons, lost dogs, and a few people that were drunk or on drugs and driving by and harassing us. But overall, it is a peaceful and calm walk 99. 99% of the time.

I really want to have a run in with an owl. I've only had two. I had one run in with an owl in my life, and it changed me down to my very core. It did.

Fundamentally changed you as a person.

It was the coolest experience experience of my 29 years of life.

We have an owl who is right outside of our bedroom window every night. You don't see it. I don't see him, but I look every night. I'm always like, Show yourself. Show yourself. But I hear him and he's so spooky. Every time he starts at John's, he's like, Oh, my God, that thing is scary. I'm like, He's beautiful.

No, not scary at all.

He's spooky as hell. It sounds spooky.

But not scary. There's a difference. I love him. I love Owl so much. I I just reached a point in my life where I just want to be surrounded by owls.

Yeah, same. I feel connected to owls in a weird way. I do, too. Owls and crows. Crows, too.

I get crows, yeah.

I feel like we could just be vibing all over the place.

You and I should just become weird old biddies who are just like the lady. We could be like the pigeon lady from Home Alone, too, but with owls and crows. Yeah.

Hell, yeah. Because at first when you just said we should become weird old biddies, I was like, become.

Well, we're not old yet. But come. So like, when we're old and gray. Hell, yeah. Let's be weird then as well. And let's level it up a few notches.

I'm going to be cone the crows at all times. I'm already starting. I'm starting, girls. Let's go. So the first story happened at the end of the summer or early fall in 2019. During this story, we had two dogs, Gidget. Oh, my God. I love it. That's an adorable name. Our border Terrier and Baxter, our Terrier mix. I love this. We were walking down Cy Road, and as we approached the corner to turn back onto our neighborhood, I started hearing a noise. It sounded like a generator. I knew this sound because it sounded like the large generators at work that power our data center when the power goes out. At first, this sound was faint, but within a few seconds, the volume increased. It was getting louder and louder. On Cy Road, we have the neighborhood to the right of me, and elementary school with not too much around it on the left side of me. The rest is mostly open mesa. The generator noise was getting really loud, and both me and the dogs were trying to figure out where this sound was coming from. I shown my flashlight around, but I didn't see anything, and the dogs just stopped in their tracks.

I didn't want to move. I wouldn't say I couldn't move, but I just felt frozen. I could have moved, but I didn't, if that makes sense. It does. It does. As I get ready to try to put my hands over my ears because the noise is now so loud, it just stops. I mean, it stops like you paused a song. No echo or reverberation or anything like that. It went from uncomfortably loud to silence instantly. That honestly would fuck me up.

I think that's what it's meant to do.

Yeah. I looked up at the sky and saw a small but very bright light hovering in the sky above us.

No, thank you.

I'm not sure how high it was, but it seemed like it was very high in the sky. The light moved towards the Sandia Mountain range to the east in less than 2 seconds. Based on my Google Maps estimate, the mountains are at least 20 miles away from me as the crow flies. As the crow flies.

Honey.

Again, this light went from hovering over me and the dogs towards the mountain and out of view in less than 2 seconds. The fuck. I am not sure our military or civilian airlines have anything that can go from hovering to out of sight in less than 2 seconds. At this time, I worked at our city school district in IT, and I later verified that we didn't have any generators at the nearby elementary school, so I know That was not it. As far as I could tell, there wasn't any construction going on around us. The skies were clear as the sun was starting to break, and I could rule out clouds. Later, I searched for reports of the noise on different platforms, and I could not find anything. Oh, I hate that. The whole thing was so bizarre, and I don't have a good explanation for what it was.

That probably drives you insane.

Yeah, that would make me crazy. I hadn't had any issues since that day. Well, until today, April 20th, 2025. I was taking the daily walk with our dogs, Gidget, Bernie, our poodle Terrier Cross, and Rosco, our sassy papillon. Sadly, Baxter passed away at old age in 2021. I'm sorry. Oh, RIP, Baxter. This experience was on the corner of Cy Road, but this time when we first entered Cy Road. This is a Saturday morning, and even fewer people are at than normal. I think I saw one car on the road, but no people. Around 4: 30 AM, the dogs and I are on our usual route.

Switch it up.

I know you got to switch it up. We are at the point where we turn on to Cy Road. Rosco stopped to sniff some bushes. While we were stopped, I thought I heard a jogger's footsteps. We see joggers from time to time, so nothing unusual there. We regularly see three or so folks jogging in the morning. I don't see them every morning, but maybe once or twice a week. All the joggers are friendly and say good morning to me and the dogs when they go by. I didn't see any joggers, but the dogs were looking around like they heard the steps, too, so I knew it wasn't my imagination. We're right next to an intersection and is somewhat lit with street lamps. I did shine my flashlight around for good measure, but didn't see anything. I thought maybe it was one of the dogs that made the noise somehow. Anyway, Rosco finishes his investigation of the shrubs and we start walking again. A few seconds later, we hear the same jogger-like footsteps run by us on my left side. The fuck? You can hear the Doppler effect of the footsteps. The dogs are also looking around, trying to find this mysterious jogger.

Again, I shine my light and nothing. These steps sounded like they were right next to us. It was really strange. Bernie usually hides behind me when we see a jogger, and he was hiding behind me like a jogger ran by. I don't know what to make of these experiences, but I hope you enjoyed reading about them. We included pictures of our dogs as well as pictures of the nearby landscape. Feel free to use and share as you like. Those dogs are so cute. Oh my God, I love them. Oh my God. I don't know what How did he make of this. The landscape is pretty spooky.

The first one, the landscape is hella spooky. The first one was a UFO. Yeah, I agree. And the second one was the Invisible Man.

Oh, there you go. We got it. Owen Baxter, the best of Spoya. Oh, and Baxter, the bestest boy ever.

Oh, he was so handsome.

Oh, they're beautiful. Look at his little tongue. Oh, my God. And Rosco is the diva.

Oh, my God. Stop. It looks pretty diva-ish, too.

Oh, my God. I love them.

Our neurotic but good girl.

Oh, yeah. The mesa is... That's like a spooky place to be running and walking by yourself. Me thinks you don't go there. Me thinks you don't go there anymore. I'm a little spookied out by that.

Oh, a desert bloom.

Oh, that's pretty. We'll share these because they said we can. Thank you for saying that. But spooky. Yeah, I think you definitely experienced a UFO in that first one. And the second one is a ghost.

Or the invisible man.

Or the invisible man or woman.

Yeah, the invisible person.

The invisible jogger. Yeah, I like that one. Thank you that. And, Jill, what about us you are? Thank you for listening. Good job picking a husband, man.

Hell, yeah. All right. Tale number two is called Abducted by Aliens. Hold on, there's more. Abducted by Aliens as a Toddler Listener.

What? Holy cow. Oh, they shouldn't be abducting toddlers.

No, that's fucked up.

I don't like that.

I don't like it at all.

If it's adults, I'm like, Hell, yeah.

Yeah. Abducted adults. If you're an alien.

But I don't like that. If you're an alien, not a human.

So hi, Asha and Lena. I've been using your podcast as a form of entertaining on my DoorDashing adventures. Hell, yeah. Honestly happy to pay it forward because as a frequent flyer of DoorDash Pay it forward. I'm glad that you can listen. If I hear this being read on the pod, I might implode. Oh, no. So proceed with caution. Okay. My name's Colin, and I'm an 18-year-old trans guy about to graduate high school. Colin. Colin. I hope you did not just implode.

I hope you're still with us.

I might join the Peace Corps or buy a bakery.

I love both of those things.

Whichever one is It was feasible. I love making cheesecake. But anyway, enough about me. I'm already obsessed.

I'm already team Colin.

I want you to buy a bakery and give us more cheesecake.

Yes, please.

I don't even like cheesecake. I love cheesecake. Elaina does. Let's go. I like bakeries. So I experienced an alien, quote unquote, abduction at the age of six. What? I doubt you'd say I'm crazy or delusional. No. But if you do, I don't really mind. You're not. Yeah, we don't think so. I'm sharing this because I, having personally witnessed it, can't find a reasonable explanation for these memories. It's quite anxiety-inducing, as you might be able to imagine. First in background, I'm an 18-year-old trans guy, and I was born in a town of about 150,000 to 200,000 people. This town is a historical river town in the Midwest. This town has an army base, though. I'm not sure what exactly the operations there are. This is an important detail because of the recent developments within the UAP whistleblower community being so closely linked to the US military. Area 51 is the prime example. I've always thought to myself, Surely I got the image of this creature from somewhere. I must have. I do, in fact, have reason to believe that's not entirely correct. We all know what the typical alien looks like, a pale green and/or gray, ranging from minuscule to tall, with lanky, briddle-looking limbs, bulbous black eyes that reflect light, seemingly because they're void of it.

Now, the type of aliens I was exposed to in the media at the time, think Dr. Cockroach from Monsters V. Aliens, or the aliens from Mars Needs Mom. Nothing like what I woke to one night. Suddenly, I sat up in my bed.

Colin, I'm nervous.

Colin, I'm really freaking out. The brightest lights that I had ever seen were to my left, blinding me even through my hot pink curtains. Damn. They were the color of a slightly darker electric blue combined with white. I can actually visualize that. I remember the curtains being shut for a moment, and then suddenly they were open as if they'd never been closed in the first place. All I could do was slowly sit up and blankly stare at what was towering above me. I I now come to estimate the creature had to have been 6 to 8 feet tall.

What?

Fuck that. My bed was quite high off the ground already, so it's likely toward the higher end of that scale. I simply stared. I felt strangely calm, yet also terrified. It's like my fight, flight, or, I can never say that, fight or flight system malfunctioned, and I somehow found peace in it while being nearly physically paralyzed.

You found freeze. You found freeze.

Yeah. I do that, too. I simply have no memories after that. The only true image I'm left is the pure curiosity and neutral attitude I could feel being towards me. Oh. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it now. The absence of life in its eyes, the reflection of the blight fluorescent Pale Blue light behind me, my young silhouette shadow propped directly in the middle of the illumination.

Oh, great writing. I know.

The best possible way I can describe the pigment of the eyes is the absence of light, the void itself. Hence why I said they were devoid of light. The skin was a light charcoal gray and was perfectly matte and incredibly smooth. The texture was fully matte, but a slight sheen was also present. Now, I've had severe mental health problems my whole life. I have very few memories of my childhood, and somehow this remained. The only other one related to aliens and UAPs is late night car rides and persistently tracking the largest, brightest, and most abnormal of glowing orbs in the sky. I do remember a string of lights at some point that could just as easily have been a manmade craft, especially since the lights were white yellow. I would presume it is, actually. What I struggle to understand is how light could have been that bright while not producing any heat that I could feel. Why do I not remember it? Is it because of childhood trauma? Is my childhood trauma this? So many questions. Perhaps. Thank you for reading. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I can't really accept what happened because it seems impossible, but perhaps our parameters are skewed.

I love listening to you guys so much. Thank you for making this lovely podcast. Feel free to DM me with any comments or questions. Keep it weird, but definitely not so weird that you can't tell if you were objected by extraterrestrials as a toddler or not. Lots of love.

Damn.

I don't know.

Colin, I think you saw what you saw. Definitely. I feel like if you, especially if you don't have a lot of memories from childhood, but that one sticks out to you.

Yeah, that's telling for sure.

But I'm hoping you weren't abducted.

That's why I said, I don't know, because I really don't want for you to have been abducted as a six-year-old.

I hope you weren't abducted because I really want to hope that aliens are We're chill and discerning enough that they're like, We're not going to abduct kids. We're going to abduct adults and see what's going on up there, but we're going to let the kids chill. I just have that feeling about aliens, that they respect kids. I like that. That's just my vibe, my alien vibe.

Sometimes I feel like an alien, and I respect kids. I know.

I felt like an alien my entire life, and I respect kids. I want to believe that it just came into your room like, one, great curtains. Two, maybe it was just curious. It was just like you said, you could feel the curiosity almost, like what's going on there. Maybe he was just like, I just got to see what this is about. And then he was like, Wait, this is a little one. So this is a little human, so I should leave. That's what I'm hoping.

I like that theory.

Yeah. And I think that means that you are special.

I think so, too, personally. I think they're like, We could beam this one up, but maybe we should keep them here.

I think This one has more to do.

And look at you. You do it. And look at you. And look at you. Peace Corps bakery. Yeah. Maybe you just name your bakery, Peace Corps. There you go. Peace A Cake Cor.

There you go. We'll work on it. Yeah, we'll work on it. You'll work on it. We'll work.

You'll workshop that. I already named one company. I can't be naming too many more.

I can't be naming other ones. But, Colin, thank you for that. And I think you, I think you saw what you saw, personally.

Thank you. Thank you, Colin. And I hope you didn't implode.

I also hope you didn't implode.

Hope you're still door-dashing because we need you out there in these streets. We do.

We need Colin.

So your job is essential.

The next Listener Tale is called Listener tales: Alien Abduction, Diamond Guy Mike, and Spoopy Ghost Pictures. Hell, yeah. Let's go. Hello, ladies. I admit I'm late to the morbid game. Having just started listening to about five or six months ago. I love the podcast, the banter, the goods. I'm well on my way to catching up. You're a badass. Let's go. I just finished the Ian braided and Myra Hindley episodes. Never have I wanted to rekill some already dead people as bad as I did those two sons of bitches.

Do you know that I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about that case? I do, too. It happened to be literally a few nights ago.

Yeah. Every once in a while, it'll pop into my head, and certain things will pop into my head about it, and it will ruin me. Me, too. I also have never wanted to rekill some already dead people as badly as I wanted to kill them.

Let's team up and do it together. Yeah.

And remember, punch a Myra Hindley supporter in the face. Remember that whole?

Yes, I do.

Anyhow, I've been josing to send you guys my two stories and some spoopy ass zombie ghost lady pictures that I took about 20 years ago. Fuck, yeah. So here we go. I'm going to type up both the stories and hope you read them both because they're absolutely fucking bonkers and I still get chills when I talk about them. Here we are. First up, I'm 99. 9999999999999999 certain that I've been abducted by aliens.

I'm pretty sure about that, too.

I am, too. That or my ass did some spontaneous teleportation shit.

Both pretty cool.

Both of which are hard to believe, but the one logical explanation for what happened turns out to be not that logical at all. So here goes. New Castle, Wyoming, 1996. About the time Ash was born, I think. Facts. My friend Shannon, her little brother, little sister of myself, decided to do a camp out under the stars. That's beautiful. And in the '90s, we did that shit.

Shut up about all your good '90s terms.

We had our sleeping bags all lined up. It was little brother, little sister, Shannon, and then myself. We were laying on the top of a hill that bordered the north end of the town we had grown up in. This hill was a strange, long, and narrow hill that basically served as a stopping point for the town. There were no houses on this hill, and beyond it was just barbed wire fences and then Black Hills forest. Well, the four of us were laying in our sleeping bags looking up at the stars. We were making stupid jokes about how we couldn't find the, quote, Little Dicker Yes. The Little Dicker, because when you're 13, stuff like that is funny as fuck. Still is. The last thing I remember talking about was the Little Dipper before we all went quiet and started to doze off. It was a beautiful night. The stars were bright. There was no wind, which is I had heard of for Wyoming. And the temperature was perfect for camping under the stars. And then I woke up, but I didn't wake up where I had fallen asleep. I had woken up near a mile north of where we had fallen asleep.

No, I hate that for you.

Standing facing due north, directly away from town in a small clearing in the middle of the forest.

Bitch, what?

Fuck that.

That's the beginning of a really good horror movie.

Yup. Now, first things first. Everyone and their grandma is going to say, That bitch be sleepwalking? Well, let me tell you why I wasn't sleepwalking. Tell us. First, I've never slept walked prior to the incident, nor have I done it since. I'm 40 now.

Look at you, couple of 40-year-olds.

Also, where I had not woken up, there was a lot of harsh sage brush, pine needles, and not one, but two barbed wire fences for me to get back to where we had fallen asleep. What? Yeah, you wouldn't have been able to sleepwalk that far.

No, and you'd have some injuries if you did.

Now, the composure that my 13-year-old self had in that moment was phenomenal. I told myself, Hey, it's okay. You were just sleep walking. I turned around and could easily see the lights of town. My feet were fine. My clothes were fine. Nothing seemed out of place except my ass that was a mile from where I'd fallen asleep. Lo and behold, I start walking back in the direction of town, and I have a number of terrains I have to walk over. First, the dried grass and sage brush, then an area of thick pine trees, pine cones, and a carpet of dead pine needles. Now, I'm not sure if you've ever stepped on a pine needle, but those bitches hurt. Yeah, they do. Could I sleep through that?

Maybe.

But let's get to the barbed wire fence number one. This sucker was nearly brand new. The wires were tight, and my awake and conscious self struggled to slither my fat booty through the wires. That shit is hard enough to do in the daytime without getting your clothes caught on it, let alone at 3: 00 in the morning. I'm assuming that's what time it was because this is some weird shit and there was no cell phones back then.

Hey, Jules' husband was awake. That's right.

Jules' husband was taking a walk. So the first barbed wire fence I finally crawled through, but I snagged the back of my shirt on it and tore a little hole in it. The second barbed wire fence that I came to after walking over several hundred more feet of pine needles and shale rock was less impressive. And in the pale sunlight, I was able to find a spot where the top wire was down, so I crawled over the top of it. Nice. I had to walk for a while before I find my friends. All three of them were sound asleep in their sleeping bags. I crawl into my sleeping bag as if nothing ever happened, but my feet were achy and cut up from the walk back. I had snags in my clothes and scratches on my hands. By morning, I had convinced myself yet again that it was just a bizarre and isolated incident of sleep walking. The older I got, however, the more that never made sense. There's no way in a million years you could convince me that I walked my ass a mile from where we were sleeping over sharp pine needles through two barbed wire fences and a whole lot of other obstacles without being woken up.

I've never been a heavy sleeper and reiterate that I've never been a sleepwalker. Not before, not since.

Yeah, that's weird.

I had never in many years considered the idea of being abducted by aliens until I told this story to a friend. Without missing a beat, he simply said, You're abducted. To this day, I believe it. There's just no way I could have made it that far from our little camp without something stirring me awake, like getting my ass tangled in a barbed wire fence. Mind you, this is Wyoming. Those fences stretch on for miles and miles in both directions. Damn. Anyways, I don't think I was probed. I was 13, but something really fucking weird happened that night. That's the best explanation I can come up with because sleep walking just isn't fathomable. I didn't tell Shannon or her siblings about the experience. I was honestly too embarrassed. But the older I got and the more I was compelled to tell the story, it's interesting how a lot of people have had similar experiences, all of which are completely unexplainable. It's true. That's my first story. Keep it weird, cue, Ash.

But not so weird that you wake up in the middle of nowhere all the way away from your friends and you have no damage from crawling under barbed wire fences.

Yeah. And what you said, but not so weird that you go on a camp out on a hill north of town where nothing extraordinary ever happens and you sit in your sleeping bag talking about the little dickers and wake up to find yourself in a clearing a mile from where you fell asleep and have to turn into bare motherfucking gorillas to find your way back in the dark after being abducted by aliens. Do not keep it that weird.

I would have read yours if I saw it. I didn't see it.

It's okay. We needed an ash one. Now, my second story, you got abducted by aliens, by the way. Absolutely.

You got abducted by aliens. Because there's no way you wouldn't have had evidence of being ripped up by the fences and your feet hurting.

I'm a sleepwalker. Yeah. I'm a sleepwalker. Do you still often? I haven't done in a while, but now I have children who are sleepwalkers, or at least one child who is a sleepwalker. And it just doesn't work that way. I think people have this weird misconception about what sleepwalking actually is. You're not trekking a mile down the road. It's just not happening. You're doing some weird shit. I've heard of people walking out their front door and moving some distance, a mile through terrain.

Yeah. Like, no. Shitty terrain.

It's just not happening. Usually you're walking downstairs and saying some weird shit to your parents or something. Yeah.

Drew slept walk before a few times, and one time he just left peanut butter in the top rack of the dishwasher. That's hilarious. And I was like, what the fuck is he doing here? He was like, I actually have no idea.

My oldest sleepwalks. And they come down at night a lot. Just because they're trying to push. I need water.

I'm tired, but I can't fall asleep. Can you lay with me? She looked at me a weird way. Yeah.

But when they come down, they always do this thing because the kitchen is off of the living room and they'll just peek around the corner and we can always hear their little feet. So we always brace it and mute the TV and just wait for them to come around. And then they'll just slowly walk over to us to tell us from the middle of the But when she's sleep walking, I can hear it.

I love them. Just what she does.

Because she just comes barreling down the hallway and we can hear it. And usually, that isn't the give right away because sometimes they'll pitter-patter down the hallway. It's that she comes barreling around the corner and walks full speed directly at us, just staring at us. It's like a freight train coming at us and we're just like, oh, God. And then she just sits down. And then she just sits down in front of us and we'll at us and we're like, Hi, love, what's going on? And then she'll snap out of it at some point or we'll just have to bring her back upstairs while she's still sleeping. That's so scary. But I can always tell when she comes barreling around the corner, we're like, oh, she just comes I got you.

She has a different look at her eyes.

She does. It's a... I'm asleep. Like, void. It's just I'm not really looking at you. I'm looking through you.

That's so creepy. And I hate it. Yeah, it's wild. She is knock on wood. Never done that at my house. I don't know what I would She doesn't do it often.

It's a, yeah, it's every once in a while. It's once in a blue moon. But it's funny what she does.

I think it would freak me out. I really hope my children someday don't sleepwalk.

That's honestly all it is. All that's important is you just talk to them softly and then you just get them to get up and you just walk them back upstairs and into their bed and you tuck them in and you say, good night.

There's so much shit that comes with having kids that you just don't. Like, luckily, I think of because of your kids. We can prepare you for it. And then I go home and I'm like, Drew, when we have kids someday, we might have to deal with A, B, C, and D. And he's like, Yeah, it's fucked up.

Yeah. That's, you know what?

We'll do it, though.

It is what it is. So, yeah, you got abducted. You did not. For sure. You did not. For sure. Now, my second story is another long one in a doosy, but I'm not going to apologize for it being long because you've said time and time again not to do that.

Don't do it.

Good call. So here goes. Same town, New Castle, Wyoming, 2001. 2000. And one. My best friend Aaron and I, you can use all names. Nobody cares. We were just hanging out when our friends Ryan and Billy pulled up with some guy we don't know named Mike. They say, Hey, girls, want to go check out some haunted places? Fuck, yeah. Oh, man, this would have got me. We're 17. Yeah. Who's Mike? We're 17 and 18 at the time. This is a small rural town. You're damn right. We want to go to some haunted places.

Also, let me ask Trix, 17, 18. I wouldn't give a fuck who Mike was. No, I'd be like, Let's go. I'm like, Hi, I'm Ash. Nice to meet you. Let's go.

Haunted places, you say? Yeah. Let's go. I want to go ghost hunting in so bad. Desperately. This is getting me in the mood. Desperately. So badly. Well, this dude, Mike, was the driver. He was one of those people who gave you weird vibes. But since Billy and Ryan were there, it was all cool because they're good friends, and so we're not worried about old Mikey boy. We start driving around the same rumored haunted houses and checking them out from the road. Of course, we're all psyched up and spooking ourselves out about these places and chatting about various things that, quote, might have happened in them. Then out of nowhere, this guy, Mike, says, Hey, do you guys want to go check out the meat packing plant? No. I'd be like, No, leatherface. I don't. I'm all set.

Why does your family live there?

Excuse me, what? I had grown up in this town and had never heard of an old meat packing plant. Well, hell, yes. We want to go to the meat packing plant.

You're like, I haven't seen Texas chainsaw master yet.

So we load up into Mike's Jeep Cherokee and head down these backroads. We're traveling along this gravel road when down from a telephone pole, this owl swoops right in front of us and back up onto its perch.

Why is that becoming a sub-theme? Right?

Okay, that was a little weird, but whatever.

The owl said, Don't go to the meatpacking plant.

It's always the thing where it says, How many owls is weird? One. One is weird. When you see one owl, you say, What?

I'm telling you, one owl changed the trajectory of my entire life.

Already, something's arrived. A foot.

Yeah.

We arrive at the meatpacking plant, and I tell you this place was spooky, spooky. There were two buildings, the creepy building and the really fucking creepy building. The doors of the creepy building had essentially been removed. Just looking at this place from the road had the worst of the worst chills tickling down my spine. I would want to go. Mike says, Who wants to go in? Me. Ryan, no fucking way. Billy, over my dead body. Me, nobody, no, no, no. Erin, I do.

Mike, okay, let's go. Mike, tag yourself, I married.

Me, motherfucker. There was no way in a hundred million years that I was going to let my best friend go into this creepy-ass place with this fucking weirdo by herself. That is girls shit. That's girlhood. That You're a girls' girl. You're a good friend. You're ready to come by. Good job. So no, she was not letting that happen. So I begrudgingly get out of the Jeep and follow the two into the creepy building. Thank heck it wasn't the really fucking creepy building. I step inside the door and the overwhelming sense of dread I got from this place was paralyzing. I only allowed myself to stand just inside the threshold as Erin and Mike disappear into the darkness. As I'm standing there just listening to Erin and making sure Mike isn't murdering her, I I looked to my left along this wall where there was a massive incinerator. As I'm looking at this thing, I see movement at the base of it. Y'all, I have a pretty sound mind in my skull, but I shit you not. There was a puddle of blood growing out from under this incinerator towards my feet. As I watched this puddle grow even closer to my feet, I found it hard to move away until something in my brain just snapped me back to life and said, not today, diamonds.

Not today. I calmly stepped out of the building and back into the road. Billy got out of the Jeep and he walked up to me and said, Are you okay? You don't look so good. Well, it turns out all the color had drained from my face and I looked like I could give Snow White a run for her money with that ivory ass complexion. I shook my head no, and Billy simply says, You guys have no idea what dark shit you can open yourself up to by going to a place like that. Maybe you should say that before we go in, Billy. I didn't respond. I simply stood there and waited for Mike to return with Erin. Thankfully, they both came out of the building alive. I didn't have to put the smack down on Mike. Now, I know what you're thinking. That's the end. It's over. Well, joke's on you fuckers. It's not over yet. Hey. So we jump in the Jeep and Mike drives off. The next thing we know, he takes a single left turn and we find ourselves lost in a cornfield. What? Okay, that's not so weird. People get lost in cornfields all the time.

Do they? Not New Castle, Wyoming, they don't. We don't grow corn in New Castle, Wyoming. There's about an inch of sandy topsoil, and then it's solid rock underneath it. This land is good for grazing cattle It's not good for growing anything. I didn't know that. So we drive for what feels like an eternity in one direction, never leaving the cornfield.

You were in a backroom cornfield.

You were in the liminal cornfield.

That's strange, baby.

We drive for an eternity in another direction, never leave the cornfield. That's backroom corn shit. Then we keep driving in another direction, and bam, we're out of the cornfield. But guess where we're at? That's right. Right back at the front doors of the motherfucking meatpacking plant. No. Oh, no. No.

No. No.

No. No. No. No. Now, all five of us are a little weirded out at this point. A little? I'm in the back seat hiding my eyes. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist. Just kidding. It totally existed, and that was the weirdest shit ever. I'm suddenly convinced that we're trapped in a death labyrin while the others are just joking about how weird that was. Thankfully, Mike drives out the direction he came in, and I'll be damned if that owl didn't swoop down from the telephone pole in front of us, nearly hit the Jeep and back up to its perch.

Seeing an owl twice?

That's it right there.

How does it feel to live my dream?

Erin and I were returned safely home that night, but the events of that night were deeply ingrained in my memory. I've told that story to other lifelong residents of our small hometown, and many of them have the same reaction. Meepacking plant? Question mark. Cornfields? Question mark. We don't grow corn in New Castle.

I just want to start saying that to people.

We don't grow corn in New Castle. Any time somebody says something remotely weird or whatever, We don't grow corn in New Castle. We don't grow corn in New Castle. Get out of here. Moral of the story, I think Mike was a sinister being who brought darkness with him because I love that that's the moral.

It's Mike's fault. Mike's fucking weird.

Moral of the story, I think Mike was a sinister Mister Being who brought darkness with him because that's just the vibe he gave out. And nothing that weird has ever happened to me since.

Hey, if you're not with Mike, evidence proves. Yeah.

I rest my case. People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell that story, but I know you girls will appreciate its utter weirdness. Of course we do. And I fucking believe you. Please continue to keep it as weird as you do, but not so weird that you go haunted house hunting with creepy guy Mike. Do not keep it that weird.

Bye. We won't.

And then pictures of horses. What is that? Holy shit.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I fucking hate it. Oh, that was like- What is that? That literally, first of all, I have chills all over my... That was my genuine raw, real reaction. I forgot that you told us that you put creepy photos in.

I also forgot that.

We're going to post these.

That was a real legit jump scare.

That was like when it's the one that you see when your friend's like, Oh my God, check out this funny video.

And it's like, Oh my God. No, you just made me feel alive. So thank you for that. That was like a genuine... I have not been that legitimately frightened.

I screamed.

Did you hear me? I think we both did. I think we both squeled a little bit.

I want to look again, but I I don't think.

That was upsetting? What is that? I need to go back up to the top.

Because at first I thought it was funny because I was like, oh, my God, look, the horse is touching the other horse's butt. And then I kept scrolling because I thought it would get funnier. It got scary.

I'm so stressed.

It got scary.

So stressed.

It got really fucking scary. I scrolled up once more, but I can't anymore. Oh, my God.

I just saw it again.

You can only do it.

I'm so stressed out.

That's the last time. I'm going to need you to tell us more about where those photos came from.

Tell me about that. I'm looking to see what you said that was.

I think they said just creepy ghost pictures in a field.

Yeah.

With no corn.

Who is that? Please tell us more about that person. It's cursed. Because I'm really upset by that.

I'm holding my own self right now.

Oh my God. It's so stressful, guys. I don't like it.

And she just pops up out of nowhere. She's not in the first three.

No.

But she's definitely in the last two.

Oh, and she looks all like... She looks like a zombie. She looks warped. She really does.

I really hate it. I actually don't want to spend any more time talking about it.

Yeah, I don't either. We're going to post it, though.

Okay. And it's not that I don't appreciate that you sent the photos. I'm just really terrified and feeling really vulnerable right now.

No, you're honestly, like I said, you made me feel alive. So thank you for that.

That was a hilarious reaction.

I really appreciate that. I'll forever be thankful for giving me a legitimate... I haven't had a legitimate frightening moment in a while.

So thank you. We're just down and now I feel like my feet need to be That was a lot. I'm going to go in my hood.

Bye. Wow. Thanks for that. You.

You freaked me out. That was great. Okay. So next listener tale. I'm scared.

Don't worry. We'll post them. I promise. So you won't be outside of what we just saw. You can all have that moment. You'll be with us. You can all feel alive.

I just scrolled up to her again. She's really scary. I hate it. Okay. Oh, fuck. She scared me a lot. Listener tales, no probe in here.

No probe in here.

Buenos dias, weirdos. What's up? Buenos dias, buenas noches. My name is Elise, and I'm a spooky bitch from good old Kentucky. This is Southern as hell. Hell, yeah. Feel free to use my name. Elise for life. Feeling free. A little about me. I'm the resident witch chick of my friend I read tarot cards and I write scary stories in my spare time. Oh, girl. If you feel like checking them out, you can read on shetheghost. Com.

I'm literally immediately going.

We're about to feel so alive.

Oh, my God. You guys are giving me gifts.

You really are.

I really appreciate you for that. Yeah.

I thank you guys a lot. So my family is pretty strong believers in the paranormal and aliens and such. So we're pretty open to all ideas and theories about the universe.

You sound awesome, all of you. You do.

Plus, I come from a long line of brujas. Oh, hell, yeah. I literally just told the girls about brujas. Hell, yeah. My Google home was giving them nicknames, and it called them Brewha Ha. And I said, you're a witch.

You're a witch.

I said, that's Bruhas.

I love Bruhas.

And we believe our ancestors were very connected to the other realms. I'm telling you all this to set up the people we are for the story that I'm about to tell.

You mean The best people?

Exactly. Period. Thank you. Got it. I also work as a TV news producer. And while I deal with a lot of serious shit on the regular, you guys are the best storytellers. And help me get through some of that with your wit and senses of humor. So bravo to you for everything you do. Oh, shit.

Thank you. That was really nice.

That was really nice. Well, I have a whole plethora of real life ghost stories, including the man who watches me sleep, the child ghost who haunted me and my roommate, and the haunted doll that currently lives with me. Shout out to my girl, Kim. What the fuck? Tell us everything you can. Tell us all of that. Write in all of your stories and tell us all.

Damn.

I think I'm going to start out with a good old fashioned alien encounter and now narrow escape from Proben. From Proben. If nothing else, I hope you get a good laugh out of it. So buckle up and hold on to your potatoes because...

You know we're Irish, huh?

Exactly. Because we're about to break some traffic laws with this one. Let's go. I love potatoes. When I was in high school, I went to an all girls Catholic school. This particular day started out pretty normal. My dad woke me up, I put on a scratchy ass uniform, skirt and sweater, and we headed out. At the time, I still wasn't old enough to drive. My dad was my chauffeur extraordinaire. This was around 7: 15 in the morning, so neither of us would be fully awake until we got some Starbies. That's what we call Starbucks. And by we, I mean literally no one else but my ridiculous ass. Even so, neither of us thought we would be shitting bricks in full panic mode 20 minutes later. No one does. No one expect that. No one expect that. You can't. You can't. You can't just go about your day expecting to shit bricks. No. It'd be tough. I also want to preface this story by saying this is the same direction we drive in every single day. Fun fact, Kentucky has some pretty fucked weather most of the time. One second, it'll be snowing in April. Two hours later, we'll be under a tornado warning.

It's real fun. Anyway, the day in question, it was spring, which meant that it was humid enough to... You're hilarious. It was humid enough to rat up my Puerto Rican hair and make it grow to the size of Doug D... Doug Dimadona. Owner of the Dimsdale Dimadone. I can't say it. Hold on. Make it grow to the size of Dimsdale Dimadone, owner of the Dimsdale Dimadones hat. That's a high hat. I love it. Aside from my hair looking frightening AF, it was also foggy as hell. You could barely see a couple of feet in front of you, especially since the sun wasn't up yet. This will be important to remember later. As we make our way up the ramp to merge onto the Expressway, that's when we saw them. Up in the sky, hovering overhead, were multiple circular aircraft made out of rings of light. Whoa. Each one looked like six or seven round orbs floating in the shape of a circle. And it wasn't just one, it was a whole fucking fleet.

What? Uh, dad?

What? Dad? What am I looking at? That's when he saw them, too, and they were getting closer. We both knew this was the moment H. G. Walls weren't us all about. This was clearly an alien invasion, and we were about to get fucking probed.

About to get probed.

What the fuck, dad? What's happening? What are those? I don't know. I don't know.

When your dad is like, I don't know.

When your dad's panicking, you had a panic. At that point, we were obviously, both of us were obviously fucking panicking. Arms flailing, tears streaming between bickering and shitting bricks. My dad slams on the brakes and puts the car into reverse to dope the fuck out of there and escape the obvious alien invasion we were in the direct center of. Hard pass. No probing today. Not our butt holes, E. T. I love that he's also reversing It was like, no. It was like, no. It was like, no. It was like, no. It was like, no.

It was like, no. It was like, no. It was on the Expressway. It was just not happening.

It was a good thing there were no other cars on the road. Otherwise, it probably would have been a bad idea. Probably. But we were determined to to dippest out of there and outrun the space invader's butt holes clenched. Ain't no predator-looking ass bitch about to dissect our human corps for intergalactic science. Nope. Get your specimen somewhere else, guy. Hell, yeah. Then suddenly my dad pulled over and stopped. Oh, no. His face was blank, but a smile soon crept to the corners of his mouth.

What?

That's when we both realized what had just happened. The fog was so thick. It covered the entire high mast poles up.

Oh, my God. You guessed it.

Streetlights. The spaceships that we were We're literally fleeing for our lives from were actually just motherfucking streetlights. I'm obsessed. Once we fully gathered our thoughts, the two of us bursted out laughing. A grown ass man and his dumb fucked daughter literally yeeded themselves off the highway thinking streetlights and War of the Worlds were one and the same. Meanwhile, I was late for class for obvious reasons, but I was not about to explain the bullshit my father and I just pulled. So I chalked it up to, I overslept. Oh my God. We still laugh about it today, and I like to think of it as a lovely bonding experience. Hell, yeah, it was. At least we know where we stand in an alien invasion survival scale.

You're both getting the fuck out of there.

Yeah, you're killing it. Anyways, keep it weird, but not so weird that you and your dad put it into turbo mode on the highway, but hole sealed shut because you dumb fuckers don't know the difference between streetlights and the goddamn mothership. So then you end up late to school because of your anti-probing detour. Make good choices, E.

I love that. Oh, my God. They attached the streetlights. They do. If they do look, I I would have felt for that.

Yeah, I absolutely would have felt for that.

Because those are high.

They're really high. And the actual pole itself was blocked out. Oh, yeah.

Honestly. I want to ship myself. Yeah, I absolutely would have shit myself.

That's the funniest shit I've ever heard.

I'm obsessed with the fact that you both reacted the same. That is some father-daughter bonding shit right there. It really is. For sure. It really is. Oh, my God. All right, we're going to do one more, and it's called, That time a UFO came to my mom's house.

I'm in me mom's car. Me I'm in me mom's UFO.

Hey, weirdos. I've typed this out in a double space, size twelve font putipha for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to use my name. How do you say this? Oh, you told me. Sive. Sive.

That was so like...

Sye.

That was full of on we. Oh, I like that. That's a really pretty name. That's a really cool name. Sorry, it spent us like... We took 38 minutes to decide what your name was.

As soon as I saw this name, I said, That's Irish. That's got it. That's an Irish person.

Does everybody in the world remember the first time they saw the name Siobhán?

Yes. Siobhán and Sorsha.

Oh, yeah.

Like Sorsha Ronan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Siobhán will send you into outer space.

I had a friend when I was working at the salon. She had her friend coming in and she was on the schedule. And I was like, What is your friend's name?

She was like, who is Siobhán?

I was like, Siobhan? She was like, It's Siobhan. I was like, In what world? She's like, the world. She's like, in the actual world In this world. Like, don't be dumb. She's like, aren't you Irish?

I was like, yeah. They're like, yeah, I guess. So feel free to use my name, Sive. I hail from the beautiful northwest of Ireland, where the coastline is endless. There you go.

Look at us having all the information in the put of and just looking elsewhere for it.

We're just like, what? The little villages are quaint and adorable, and we have some of the best beaches in the world. Yes, you should really visit. I want to. It's on my fucking bucket list. And a rich heritage that is soaked in so many spooky legends. Yeah, it is. Before I get into my story, I just want to say that I am without a doubt, hands down, fudging addicted to your podcast. I love that. My twins literally react to your voices now because you are what keeps me going through a day of preparing meals that will most likely get heated onto the ground or on my face. But it's fine.

Elaina can relate. Yep.

Also, Elaina, congrats on The Butcher and the Red. I loved it so much, and it got the seal of approval for my crime novel loving 93-year-old grandma.

I think that might be the best compliment you've ever received.

Your crime loving 93-year-old Irish Grandma. Yeah.

Yep. That's a win right there. Somehow, can we get that as a blurb on the next book?

I would really like that. Sive's 93-year-old crime loving Irish Grandma.

This book.

I honestly I'll take that. I will happy cry for a week if this is read on the pod. So buckle up, bitches, because there are some hairy as heck tales and also apologies for any spelling or grammatical errors as I have dyslexia.

You're killing it so far.

Yep. I was going to apologize for the length and say to cut it short if you want, but I know you two absolutely will not do that. No more. I'm going to kick things off with E. T. Both of these tales are my marvelous mothers, but it's all G. She hath given me permission to share them. So here we go. Let's tip back to 1970s Ireland, in the back arse of buttfuck nowhere, Ireland. Let's go. My mother is the fourth youngest of 12 kids.

Wow. Bless your grandmother. Yeah.

Yes. My grandmother is one amazing woman. Evidently. That's why I want her on my book jacket. Anyway, it It was mid-October, and while my mother's parents were out playing Bingo, because what else would you be doing on a Friday night? My mother's older siblings decided to be extra cute family fiends and give my mother and her sister some money to walk to the little shop about a mile from their house to get biscuits and juice. Hardcore. It's important to note my mom was about 13 at the time, and her older sister was 17 or 18 years young. Now, remember, we were in rural Ireland in the '70s here. Lamp posts along the road did not exist, and it was October, so it was dark by the they started to make shapes to the shop. The only light they had was from a little farm house they met along the way in the moon as it was a clear night, but that was it. My mother said it took them about 15 minutes to walk to the shop. It was closing at 07: 00 PM. They got there in the nick of time, grabbed the shit they needed to get and made to go back as it was getting late.

They were low-key spoofed because come on, dark country road at night? Fuck no. See you later. Anyway, as they were walking back, they both noticed this huge ass light up less than 500 yards from their house. It seemed to be a field, and my mom said it lit up the entire area. It was ridiculously bright, and she described it as being like the sun. It was much too big to be a combine harvester, and it wasn't moving. It was just like this enormous floodlight that you get at football games that just engulfed the field. Both her and her sister were confused as heck, as this obviously wasn't there when they had walked over. My mom, being the curious little fart she was and still is.

I love a curious little fart.

Decided to go and check it out. There was a little farmhouse just at the top of the field and a narrow stone pathway covered by tall trees and hedgeroof leaving up to it. My mother said her older sister insisted she just come home, but no, badass 13-year-old mama was on a mission. Her sister, my aunt, reluctantly followed after her because the situation was beginning to get super creepy. As mom walked up the little lane, she said the light seemed to be getting brighter and brighter to the point she was finding it hard to see. That's when she saw it. Just up ahead, hovering slightly above the trees, was an enormous craft. Yep, that's right. It was a fucking UFO. Let's go. She described the craft as having three massive spotlights, a dome shape in the center, and a saucer-shaped base with a ring of smaller lights around the saucer. My mom said if she had scaled the tree, she would have been able to put her hand on the base of it.

She had curious little fart.

Stunt and absolutely shitting it. My mom said she just froze. She said she tried to move, but her legs, but they would not budge from under her. It was as if she was in a trans-like state. She recalls being completely transfixed on this monstrosity of a fucker and legit could not pull her eyes off it. All she remembers was hearing my sister screaming at her in a muffled tone as if she were underwater to get the fuck out of there. It was at this point my mother snapped out of her trance and turned to look back at her sister. But before my mother even had a chance to look back, the humming noise intensified and the craft shot off at the speed of light into the night sky. I think it was at this point the reality of what just happened hit my mother, and both her and her sister absolutely forest-gumped it the fuck out of there. Out of breath and a couple of skid marks up later, they tried to explain to their siblings what the fuck just happened. And naturally, They thought these two must have inhaled something on the way over the road and hallucinated this ship because absolutely no way did that happen.

If it had just been my mom alone, I don't think anyone would have believed her as she was only a soft 13, but her sister was 18 and was white as a motherfucking ghost from the shock of it all. When my mother's parents arrived back, they told them the entire story. My grandpa was a police sergeant at the time and asked my mother and her sister to draw exactly what they had seen. Both of them drew identical pictures. Naturally, there was an air of caution and suspicion surrounding their stories as it's one of those things, isn't it? I, for one, believe in it all. The universe simply is too big and vast for us just to be it. Agreed. To be honest, I don't know what's scarier. Either we're alone or we're not.

I think it's so much scarier if we were alone.

If we're alone, that's terrifying to me. It wasn't until the next day when the principal of the local school came into the police station to make a rather odd and unexplainable statement. Mom stated that it was at this point that my father, my grandpa, her father, my grandpa, truly believed the happenings of the previous night with his daughters. The man stated that while he was driving home from the bingo, he felt an Almighty magnetic pull on his car, so much so that the car just completely stalled and wouldn't move, even though he was driving at the time. He said the force was so strong that he himself struggled to get out of the car to see what the fuck was going on. He explained to my grandpa that he managed to wrangle his way out of his seat belt enough to peep his head out the window. But just as he did, he said a massive flying object shot off into the sky. He stated that it simply couldn't have been a helicopter as there was absolutely no sound, and the speed at which it flew off was like nothing he'd ever seen before. That's so fucking creepy.

Naturally, my grandpa was perplexed as fuck at this, and to this day, my mom still can't fully explain why or what the fuck ET was doing visiting her neck of the woods in rural Ireland. But yeah, that's the story. You have to believe that another guy came in and said he saw the same thing.

And had no idea that two other girls didn't even know who they were.

That's so fucking creepy. Little spin off story. My boyfriend is a pilot and said he's been seeing strange lights to the west of Ireland, flying much higher than the plane for the last two months now. What? Me being a Libra and always has to weigh up the options, asks, Could it be a satellite? But he said, Absolutely no way. It moves in different directions and can sometimes appear green in color. It's become so frequent that he said other pilots are talking about it in their second frequency. I think that's what it's called. I'm not great on aviation though. But yeah, that shit fascinates me.

Being a pilot must be fucking wild.

Oh my God, I can't even imagine. Because you must see the craziest shit.

Truly.

Anyways, for story two, we're going to take a trip down Paranormal Road. And yes, this also involves my I swear this woman has a sixth sense that I might start calling her Cole. The events of the movie plot line, of this movie plot line, take place in the late '80s when Mama Bear was in her second year of university. Uni. Mom was staying on campus with her friend in a four bedroom dorm. Now, the layout of this dorm is important. On each floor, there was five dorm rooms. Each dorm room had four bedrooms and then a shared kitchen and common room. However, in order to access each floor, you had to have a specific key. Okay, cool? Sweet. Back to the story. So one weekend when everyone, bar my mom, her friend, and two others on their dorm floor had gone home, my mother and her friend decided to stay in their uni dorm as they worked in the city, but more so because they couldn't afford the bus fare that week because, come on, broke ass uni students And what sounds better, bus fare or a chance for a raging piss-up?

A raging piss-up. A raging piss-up. Incredible.

Anyway, on this particular evening, my mom was getting her beautiful curly hair. I said red hair because I pictured her with red hair. Curly hair ready for a night on the tiles. Side note, so jealous of them being in their 20s and getting to experience the '80s in all its glory. I agree.

I feel that way about people who experience the '80s in their 20s and the '90s and their adolescents. Yeah.

She was sitting at the end of their hall in their dorm room as there was a long-length mirror situated there. To the left of her was the exit door that took you to the common room and out of the complex. So if anyone was entering or leaving their dorm room, she would have seen them as she would have had to have scooched over to let them past. About So five minutes into drying her hair, my mom said she kept seeing her friend who was doing her makeup in the bathroom at the other end of the hall, peaking her head out of the door with a confusled look on her face. Confused, my mom asked, What are you looking at? To which her friend replied, I thought I saw someone walk past the door. My mom said she laughed it off and replied, Hmm, no, I would have seen them, too. Trick of the eye, maybe? They both continued getting ready, and just as mom was about to switch off the hairdryer, she said she felt a presence behind her. She looked up into the mirror to find a girl, not much older than her, standing directly behind her, just smiling at her.

Disgusting. She said this girl had a black bob and was wearing a cream crew neck top with a purple cardigan. Stunned. Mom instantly just said, Oh, hello. Sorry, I didn't even notice you coming. That's when she noticed. She's like, Hey, sorry, but you didn't see there. I didn't see you enter my fucking house. That's when she noticed it. The girl in the mirror didn't have a lower body. She was simply a floating fucking torso.

I wonder if it was one of those things where the building used to be structured differently and her pelvis down was on the next floor. No.

Pelvis down. Eew. Completely frozen to the spot. My mom tried not to scream to her friend, even though she said she didn't feel panicked at all. In fact, she said she felt this overpowering sense of calm. So it must have been a good ghost. Yeah. My mom looked at this girl straight in the eye while this girl just continued to smile back at her. She said She tried to turn the hair dryer off without breaking eye contact, but had to look away for a split second to remove the plug from the wall. And when she looked back up, almost instantly, the girl had gone. What? Now, remember, she had been sitting on the floor right beside the exit door. And so if this girl had entered or left the room, my mom would have literally had to have moved her entire body to let her out. She had not budged from the floor once. Naturally, once the shock of what she had just seen set in, she called her friend and the both of them darted to the common room where the other two people on the floor were sitting eating food. Both of them asked the two if they'd seen this girl leaving the floor as she would have had to exit the building via the common room.

Of course they didn't. They said they hadn't seen a single person enter or leave the dorm and that they had been in the common room for the guts of an hour at least, so they would have seen her. My mom said it was at that point she began to feel her breath quickening. There was a church on campus, and both mom and her friend decided they would visit the chaplain first thing the next morning and explain to the priest what had happened and what they had both seen. Because remember, My mom's friend said she saw someone walk past the bathroom door minutes before my mom saw the girl in the mirror. As they were explaining what she looked like, my mom said the priest began to scrunch his eyebrows as if he was remembering something. The priest told them to wait for a second and disappeared into a room at the back of the church. He returned a minute or two later with a huge folder full of mass cards and began to flick through them. He stopped and pulled out one out of the folder. My mom said her heart dropped when he turned it around and asked, Does this lady look familiar to Shakerly, my mom replied, Oh, my God, yes, that's her.

That's the girl I saw last night. I just got full chill.

I did, too. I got a warm.

There on the mask card, wearing exactly what my mom had described was the girl in the mirror. Oh, that's chilling. Mom said she looked so angelic and beautiful. The priest then dropped his head and looked at the mask card. Softly, the priest uttered, This lovely girl was a student here, but sadly passed away from leukemia about seven years ago.

Oh, I just got another chill.

At this point, both my mom and her friend began to cry, mostly because of how sorry they were for her, but also because she chose to show herself to them. The priest then came up to their dorm and blessed it. Nothing happened after that, and they never saw her again. But Mom claimed she wasn't scared because she knew the girl that she had seen was a kind soul, and if any, was probably just looking over the place while they were there. To this day, my Mom still received various signs, such as knocks on doors when she's home alone or having premonitions in her dreams of things that will happen not long after she's dreamt of them. So, yeah, I think it's safe to say Mama Bear is definitely a gifted soul who attracts the weird and wonderful, or who knows? Maybe ET had something to do with it. Maybe. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed these tales that we can all thank my fabulous mother for. And remember to keep it weird, but not so weird You know, all that.

That was such a good one.

I love that so much. You know, all that. Sive, that was so good. Both of those stories.

Fucking scary. Yeah, very, very scary. Guys, these were great tales.

These were so good.

Oh, the scary lady is sitting with me. I love it.

I love it, though.

That was freaking me out.

That scary lady in the picture will ruin me for life. But truly. But guys, you killed it. Truly killed it.

Brought to you by you, for you, and from you and all about you.

Just I love you guys.

We love you. We love you so much. And in March, we'll see you on video on the YouTube.

Hell, yeah.

So in the meantime, we hope you keep listening.

And we hope you keep it weird.

But not so whether you don't send in your tales to morbidpodcast@gmail. Com. Com with ListenerTales somewhere in the headline. We like scary stories. We like Paranormal stories. We like UFO stories. We like Ghost stories. We like Abduction stories. We like any story that's really crépive. Oh, we really like Dream stories, too. Okay. Bye. Bye.