Transcript of Side Stories: Meatballs & Murder

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop.

On the left. Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories.

Yes. We're rolling! We're rolling! Rolling, rolling, rolling.

Did you see this one little letter? I actually, you know, like, did you see this letter about the cowboys? No.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no, I'm talking about the letter about— did you see the— about the cowboys kissing each other?

Oh yeah, how they actually all love each other.

I just thought that was really fun about this idea of like guys just going out there and just being like, it's like, no, no, there's nothing, there's nothing gay, just we kiss each other for competition. Yeah, the whole thing about getting close, it's just that's boys being— that's boys maximizing, that's boy maxing.

Yeah, well, he, he also liked to watch furries have sex with each other, but they were all men.

But no, he said they're not all— but they had penises and vaginas and boobies. And so he said said that's not gay. He said they got it all, they got it all, so they can't be gay. But actually, that's the most gay of all, right? In a way.

Yeah, furries for sure.

No, no, I'm talking about furries with human boobs, human vaginas, and human penises all making love to each other at once. That ain't— it's not straight.

No, certainly not.

But you know, at the same time, it's cowboy life.

Yeah, no, he's— he should just acknowledge what he loves, of course, and love it.

He loves people with every single part so that he can experience finally the joy of being a single cishet white woman coming out as pan for Pride Month. Welcome to Side Stories.

Yes, yes.

Um, my name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, and I did it.

I had the courage. I put on the Ghana jersey, and it was really wonderful.

The response was wonderful. Ghana ended up, uh, going on to the next round. Yes, which was huge.

Uh, they're playing Colombia on Friday, you fucking pussies.

Get you, we dare you, losers. Yeah, you fucking— you try, you military army. Oh, you people run by a dictator that easy access to California, pieces of shit.

That's right, you Bogota fuck yourself.

Well, honestly, I do. I wish, I wish good luck to all the teams.

Yes, actually, yeah, yeah, I'm rooting for Ghana. Ghana's been, uh, they're doing great.

And you're— and honestly, it's really fun. People really, you've, you've embraced it, and you are— I, I see you're glowing. It's like you're pregnant.

I do feel stronger.

You are. You look stronger.

Yes. And if you hear about the witch doctor—

well, we talked all about this on stage when we did our live show just now over in London, Ontario.

Beautiful London, Ontario.

It's definitely a city, but the people are wonderful.

If you wanted to go to a place and do heroin in the street, London, that's where you want to be.

Wow. Oh, the heroin is nice.

Shout out to Grooves Records.

Shout out to Grooves Records.

They treated us well.

They really, really did. And it is— but Today's— before we even get into it, I want to say thankful. I'm thankful for today's light episode. Yes, we have— it's just uplifting stories. Uh, I think people come here for positive news. People come here for a John Krasinski-like lift to their day, you know. They don't— and we— yeah, we've discussed some really serious things recently, you know.

For a man who wrote The Quiet Place, he just won't shut the fuck up.

He just won't shut the fuck up. But John Krasinski In John Krasinski's style, first of all, what we're gonna do here is show you, we're gonna tell you how happy this is, and we're gonna take all your money. We're just fucking waste it. That's right. We're gonna waste it carving our wife's face and body to the point that she looks like a skeleton. But that's why we're doing this. We're taking it back. We're taking back good news. 'Cause today it's light, fun stories.

Yeah.

Take you back to side stories of yore.

Yeah, absolutely. Everything's so light today that you could pick it up and you could throw it in a lake and it would never come out.

And no one would ever know that it was there in the first place.

That's right.

So what I love about what we do here, right, so we went to London, Ontario, and in London, uh, for those of you that don't know, London, Ontario is the— is considered to be the serial killer capital of not just Canada but North America. From 1967, 1969 to like 1985, they— well, this is kind of their claim because it's a very Canadian claim, but, but the idea that it was They called it Murder City.

They have a lot of murders there, but I don't know, you know, Detroit's right over there.

We still— and we had LA. I still want to say like we had LA in the fucking '70s, we had Seattle-Tacoma area. We don't— I don't think we're slouches over here. Camden, New Jersey killed the shit out of a lot of them, but they had over 4 different serial killers operating at the same time. And we thought was really interesting is that there was the Belk—

doctors?

No, No, no, uh, no, they did, because that was with a license. They don't have a license to do it. But it was really fun because they had the Balcony Strangler, they had the Chambermaid Slayer.

Yes.

And then they have the Mad Slasher. Cool names. Yeah, very Canadian. And all three types of white people.

Yes. And they changed— I like that they changed the Slasher, the Slayer, and what was the last one?

The Mangler?

The Strangler, the Strangler, the Slayer, and the Slasher. Yeah, so they were like, we can't reuse the adjective.

Well, 'cause they don't wanna be redundant, right? Because they got real writers in there. So as I was looking at these stories, I was like, oh, that was interesting. And then came up the story of Dusty Bowers, which is probably, it's a bleak Canadian story. So a woman gave birth to a child, and what she did was, I guess, like, the long story short is there was obviously issues. She left the baby out in the forest to die, right? To be consumed by moose.

Yes. She went from dusty to dirty. Yes.

In the snow. She went in the snow.

Yeah.

She went from dusty to dirty to dewy because she was covered in water. And so what the— so the Canadian police, they go and they investigate. They go talk to the lady and she's like, oh my God, I had a dream. I know where my baby is. And they're like, where is she? They're like, she's out in the woods where I left her. I mean, out in the woods. And so she has this— they go and take her. They believe her.

It's a dream. They go and they get the baby.

Baby, and in the most Canadian cop-like way, they don't properly cross their T's and dot their J's. They pick up the little baby and they wrap it up like it's evidence and they throw it in the fucking truck and it dies.

What's wrong with that?

Problem is it was already alive. Ah, and so it was still alive. And so when they threw it in there and it seemed to create a situation where they just had to call it a mulligan.

Yeah.

Because they couldn't figure out what to do. So it was like the whole trial went into a whole conspiracy and it's just wild to me.

Yeah. 2 people in the audience knew her.

Yeah, absolutely. But no one, no one thought, no one said anything about knowing the baby.

Well, I mean, do you really remember any of your conversations with babies?

When I've told them my secrets. You know, that's the best thing about a baby. You could tell a baby every single thing you've ever thought, Nick. You know, nothing happens.

Oh man. I can't believe she was just like, my dream, it's in the woods.

And you're like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Where you drove, where you live next to. Oh yeah. And so it's just like that Catholic thing.

Or that Christian guy who like, they made a whole book about it. It was like, he said, God spoke to me. My missing daughter's buried in this cabin in the woods. And it's like, you killed her.

Yeah. God told you to do it. And then God put her there. God told you to do it. And then God ratted you out, bro.

Yeah. Yeah. Like what the fuck, bro? Yeah. And now you wrote a novel. Go fuck yourself.

And guess what? Who never tells you to do that? God. You know who tells you to do that? An agent from New York. That's who tells you to write a book. There's, God's not making any money on that. He doesn't care. He's not reading. God can't read. God's blind.

God's dead. Yes, that's why God can't read.

Yeah, 'cause he fucking blew his brains out. See, that was the— so that story led me to a really fun story that everybody sent us because, you know, when we do these shows, like, people want to hear local flair. They want to kind of hear— so everybody was like, oh my God, did you hear this story? It happened right down south. Like, it was right south of London, Ontario, just north of Grand Rapids. And everyone's like, oh my God, you gotta talk about this story.

You got to talk about it on stage.

Baby found dead in a porta-potty at Electric Forest. That's what you wanted.

So everybody was just like— Electric Forest is a, uh, it's not like a new weird Keebler elf city, it's a music festival.

Dude, Electric Forest would be so much fun to see a bunch of gnomes on ketamine. Yeah, yeah, you know, that'd be fucking cool as fuck, dude.

So yeah, so someone— so a raver was pregnant and had her baby and just left it, but they still don't— haven't found the mother.

No, no, you, you know what I'd say you'd look for the mother for? The look for the leaking trail of baby. Yeah, I mean, well, you know, well, no, fuck, she went right back into the pit. This is the thing with EDM that I don't really understand, is that y'all love dancing more than anything else, and I just feel like if you're showing up almost— if you're full-on pregnant to the EDM festival, obviously this is not somebody that's like doing all the work. No, you know, because they found the whole rig. It wasn't just the baby, it was the placenta and the umbilical cord. And like, if she had to cut the umbilical record herself after she—

holy fuck— crapped it in the porta-potty.

So thank you, Eddie.

It took me a second to find the right word, but then I just went with crapped it.

Perfect. Yep, that's actually the only word to use. And unfortunately, it's really sad, and obviously everyone gets mad about this. I just— you guys told us to talk about it.

It's a light episode.

It's a light episode.

No Epstein.

No Epstein.

No Iran. No jellyfish drones.

We're not even gonna bring it up. Not even gonna talk about how Iran has a secret drone program, probably, or that we're giving them stuff, or where— or someone from the inside of the United States of America is fucking, uh, going against their government and selling them stuff on the inside, or it's Russians.

We're talking about babies and porta-potties over here.

The simple stories that people come to us for. John Krasinski-like stories. This is the Good News Network, you know.

Like, who's playing the Electric Forest Festival? Any, any good acts?

Actually, I'm more interested in that. Yeah, because there's not a There actually isn't a lot of information on this. They just note that again, the whole rig was left behind. The whole kit and caboodle.

Oh, Cascade! I've seen Cascade.

A guy named Excision.

Excision.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't like any of this. I don't like any of these people. Who's Grizz? I guess Grizz is somebody you could give birth to a dead baby to.

Could be Grease.

All of these are play— Dude, this is a string cheese incident.

Oh, multiple sets. Well, string cheese incident, you know, that's what you could say. The umbilical cord was.

Ew, ew. It's not, it's not a string.

Passion Pit. Passion Pit.

Oh, I remember.

You could also— that's if you have sex in a porta-potty.

No, Passion Pit is for 40-year-old gay married men.

Yes.

Okay, that's what Passion Pit's for.

You could say she left behind a dead mouse. I— cute.

They're closing it out with T-Pain though. Oh, they're continuing on.

Good.

Yeah, yeah, you stop.

Oh, Frost Children.

That's what— that baby was more of a human. You see, but guys, this is the problem, is that I— it really is. You very rarely see this at a country festival. I'm, I'm not blaming the music. I'm not trying to blame the music because there's no abortion there. You're right, you're right. Wow, Eddie, that's actually systemic. But I don't actually— I've never heard of somebody giving birth in a porta potty at an Ozzfest. I've never heard of somebody giving birth in a porta potty.

It's happened.

Look it up.

It's a, this is, look it up. I think just this is the only one left behind. Sure. I think other people have been given birth in a porta potty and then took it with them. Give it a old wipe-a-roni.

You know, you, I hate the old Italian wipe-a-roni. There is nothing worse than a deep Italian wipe-a-roni.

I really appreciate you Googling porta potty baby.

How many babies been born in a porta potty in a music festival?

Yeah, I think we have to dissect these.

AI is not figuring it out though.

AI has one job. —to count them porta-potty babies.

AI has one fucking job. Oh, man. Yeah, so it's not that common.

Do you remember when that lady dumped all the puppies at Coachella, in the dumpster at Coachella? God help us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone's getting it. That's worse. Light episode.

Light? It's a light episode, Jim.

We're trying to do a light episode, okay? This whole thing is really just about fun topics. I'm not talking about the government. No, we haven't said anything about the government and the fact that we're probably lying.

You don't need plumbing for a porta-potty.

No. The government's not involved. No, you don't need permits for all these things and certainly can't be pulled because of it. But Electric Forest, one of the super famous EDM festivals, like it's like one of those big ol' big ol' ones, kind of like, uh, what's this place they do in Vegas?

They're all famous. They're all— I can't— every time I can't believe any of them exists and then there was always like 100,000 people at all of them.

Was it EDC? Was this all big overseas too? Big, like big over—

It's a very popular genre that we don't understand.

You know what it is, is that both and I, because like, I actually appreciate the idea of the people arriving just to dance, like the dancing, and it's heavily focused on the dancing. I think it's really fucking cool.

I've been forced to have like the best possible time you can have at like Kaskade and Tiesto and stuff like that. And I hated it. I know, but I had like Tiesto like be like, like pointing at me because I was like in the booth next to him. He's like, huh, great. And I was like, in my mind, I'm like, I need to get out of here.

This is awful. It's just not for us. This is not our— it's not our speed. But I do. So I appreciate like I appreciate the love of it. It just seems like— why does it say in my brain, yes, whole baby born dead with its umbilical cord and its whole rig in a porta-potty. Yeah, it makes sense. It's at an electronic music festival. You know what I mean? Of all of them, besides like a Phish concert, but even Phish, everybody's got money now. They're all fucking boomers. Yeah, yeah. So everybody's going to see those shows are boomers. They're not fucking—

yeah, they're all— yeah, they're all—

they can't have babies anymore. Yeah, they're fucking— their eggs are rocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, menopause has turned their eggs into fucking statues of little people.

Well, Phish was at this festival. Wow. They had to fish the baby out of the porta-potty. I'm losing fans left and right here, Henry. We need a better story. Yeah, we need a new story. Yeah, sure.

I really miss the opportunity to book Aborted Fetus. Oh yeah. And then we're like, this can actually, we can use, here at Aborted Fetus, we want to use this opportunity to teach you, you can choose. You can choose the freedom of your own body. Your body is your choice.

Yeah, she had her own guar concert in there. Ew.

Ew. Well, let's move on to a new one.

I'm just like, honestly though, before we move on, people already don't like me.

The, uh, the, the—

who found it? Like, who's looking in the porta potty?

Oh, this guy named Johnny Mandingo. That guy, he was a police officer. I feel like those— I actually think no, I think it was just some lady that went to go in there right after. You think so? Yeah, I think so.

It's so dark in there in the middle of the night. Like, you don't want to go in there. Yeah.

Oh, it's the guy who—

the guy who drains the toilets found it.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, the guy with the worst job in the world found it and it made his life even worse. He has a horrible job that he probably hopefully gets paid good money to do and then he has to find a dead baby and then move on like he's a fucking Vietnam Where's his GoFundMe? You know, yeah, nobody gives a fuck about him. Nobody gives a fuck. No one's talking about that guy. It was like, oh my God. Yeah. Where's his? Seriously, he needs a GoFundMe. I don't feel bad that Lizzo's record failed. I feel bad for that guy. Yeah. I feel, that's who I feel bad for.

That is officially worst job in America. Oh yeah.

Every once in a while we found a dead child. Yes. Yes. And then I saw one time, one time I found not just one, but two, but three children all dead. At once tied together with the umbilical cord. Somehow the 3 children had committed suicide inside of the woman. And I, but one time I found 4 quarters. It's a light episode.

Rise from your grave. All right, here we go.

Here's the next one. There's a Batman in Mexico. This is actually fun.

Oh, this one's actually, this one is.

This is fucking technically awesome. Who knows though, because it's funny because the Mexican government right now, they are not happy and they're considering him like hurting people and that the quote unquote robbers he's been apprehending, they've been saying that they are the victims, but we shall see, won't we? They always come after the vigilantes. Yes. Don't they, Brooklyn Devil? Don't they? You know that. You know that they do.

Brooklyn Devil. I do. So in, um, in the Lagos de Moreno in Jalisco, they, uh, I think that's right, Jalisco, Jalisco, Batman of Lagos de Moreno out of the Jalisco, Mexico. So they have a bike theft problem, bicycle and motorbikes, and this guy has taken it upon himself to— maybe it's one guy, maybe it's a bunch, we don't know yet.

They know right now it's, it is definitely several vehicles. They have several vehicles that they have picked up on.

They know it because this could be just the community coming together. Who knows?

Yeah, it absolutely can, because they're saying they're having a problem. They're finding these young men, or mostly young men, middle-aged men, duct taped entirely to poles. It takes more than one guy to do that. I think so too.

I think it does, especially these guys. They're criminals, so they got to be kind of tough.

Oh yes, Batman and Robin. Well, that's what they're bringing up. It could be a Nightwing, it could be, um, Batgirl. Maybe. I'd like to think so. I'd like to see a little Batgirl in there. But see, what they did was is that they duct taped them to the pole, and then he drew little whiskers on their faces, wrote rateras on their forehead, which means thief, right? And then put a piece of pink poster board above them that described what they did. And so they have been— they've been beaten, They've been— they're all bruised up. Some of them got black eyes, bloody noses, all this shit, uh, but they're following around. But the police isn't—

they aren't arresting the guys that are tied up to the poles, right?

No, because there's no— there's no evidence, actual evidence, that they stole anything, which is the problem always, right, with the vigilante, is you can do the busting, but you have to then eventually figure out how to work with the police, because then if they don't properly have the line of evidence and all that shit secured, then the courts can't do anything to them unless you're just going to hang them from bridges and make them scared to do crimes, which I think is also just as legitimate.

Yeah, they write the word Ratero, Ratero on their foreheads.

They leave the bikes there. Yeah, those guys' bikes. That's like the proof. That's so— well, that's what they say, that that's the bike that they stole.

Yeah, that's the bike they stole. But you know, there is no real proof that they stole the bike. That's the problem with this whole thing.

Yes, which is always one of the main issues. But everybody's saying It's more of a gigantic response in general to the neighborhood trying to take control of its own crime that's like, that's kind of overrun— running the city. Yeah. So it does to me make sense that there would be a Batman. It makes sense because they need one.

Well, they have their thing in, um, Jalisco. Uh, apparently there is like a, a band of female vigilantes.

Dude, this shit's fucking— this is the better story in my opinion.

It's only like 3 sentences, so I don't even know what happened here.

It's like stole like armored cars, right?

There's a bunch of female vigilantes have been patrolling the nearby state of Michoacán. Michoacán. How do you say it? Michoacán. Michoacán. Michoacán. Carrying assault—

I'm sorry. You're funny. Eddie's learning. He's watching. I watched him watch the World Cup.

Yeah. He's learning. I, you know, I'm dumb when I read. I'm dumb when I read English.

You're nice when you think that.

So anyway, these chicks are carrying around assault rifles to protect themselves from the fucking new generation cartel, and then these women warriors have built a homemade tank. Yeah. And they set up roadblocks to fight the gunmen. So they are straight up— this is crazier.

But also, from what I have heard from people talking about what goes on in Mexico and people who live in Mexico, is that, yeah, there is obviously— there is some high crime, there's some chaos, but for the large part, much like here in the United States of America when we're dealing with chaos, there's still just families living, and most people live a normal existence even within all of this craziness. But it, you know, we have been— United United States of America has been heavily meddling, uh, within the, uh, Mexican people. Like, you know, going after— doing all these— we're playing the games too now. Now we're fighting the cartels, but also God knows what we're doing down there because there's no way we would ever know.

No, we won't be doing—

yeah, the FBI is in charge. So they built a killdozer. Yeah, dude, it's fucking awesome. So these chicks rock. Yeah, so I do understand it's a lot, but it's gonna be amazing when the fucking— I mean, I'll— like, there's a lot of jokes here, you know, But no one really wants us to go through all of them, right? Like, we don't want to talk about how that is how you can tell the problem with him keeping his identity a secret. Car's always jumping up and down, and it's also really hard, you know, because obviously he has the commemorative horn. Yeah. Because, like, does the, you know, does the Batman theme. You know, that's a thing. Again, I'm trying not to be fucking, you know, I'm trying to be bad hair.

I mean, that would be awesome.

I'm just saying it would be really cool if it turns out like you can know who the Mexican Batman is because he shows up after a concert. Yeah. Making all the hot dogs, all the bacon wrapped. I mean, like, that would be one of those things.

We'd be like, he could do that too. Yeah. A Batmobile with rims would be fucking awesome. Oh, that's what I—

to me, this is the comic book. Like, this is the comic book. Like, this is like, there's a comic book in here about people within Batman's world being inspired by Batman to do things, you know, like the idea of an actual Mexico City Batman that does it in his way is such a fun fucking idea, and I want it to be real.

Yeah, well, it seems like it is real.

Who knows? I mean, hopefully, you know, he never knows who's fighting for what, but just remember, sometimes we have to take care of ourselves. Amen. Amen. Yep. And we here at Last Podcast Network, we treat the Mexican Batman as a hero. He is a hero, and I want him to email us at sidestorieslpotl@gmail.com because I want to talk to you. Because we talked to other superheroes on this show.

They're vigilantes, and we superheroes—

we're gonna follow up with Reckless Ben still too. He reached out this week. So great. Oh, we are gonna follow— yes, because he's still been— his gag order— for those of you that haven't been following his entire saga about bricks and minifigs, go to Reckless Ben on YouTube, watch his videos, go watch his stuff on it because he explains the whole thing way better than I can. But it is a What's happening to him is extremely irresponsible, and we promise our goal is to speak with him as soon as he's allowed to. And so here's our next one, next story, another fun story. Which one is this? Grandma? Yeah, old grandma finally does something interesting. You know, 'cause grandmas, you got the spoil your grandmothers, they gotta cook all day grandmothers, you got those nice grandmothers, you got grandmothers that still keep it tight, you know, like if your grandmother's like fucking, uh, like Gillian Anderson, Yeah. You know, there's still those kinds of grandmothers now, 'cause people are having their kids later. It is hot grandma time. Yeah, it is. And guess what? If you are, let's just say if you like fine, matured women, ooh, mm-hmm, there is a couple of them out there, my friend.

Yeah, the future's great.

It is for us that like MILFs. But not for this family, because this one GILF was not one I'd like to fuck. It's one I'd like to apprehend. But she did it to herself. She's a real gila. Grandmother I'd love to apprehend, but she's dead. So this woman, Amy Steadman, 64 years old, young grandmother. She was found dead Tuesday afternoon inside an apartment in Mechanicsville. Holy shit. Mechanicsville. How brutal of a town is Mechanicsville in upstate New York? I would love to know. Sidestorieslpotl@gmail.com. Does crude come out of the taps? Like it's one of those where we just passed by Petrolia.

I think this is actually the only non-incarcerated family. Well, yep. Yeah.

The only one that is not the only non-ex-con family. Yeah. Historic Mechanicville, where we lie to every woman that comes in.

The police chief is called—

his name is William Rabbit. Yeah. That's very cute. Mr. Bunnies. So Amy Steadman, she was found dead in her apartment along with her daughter Sarah Myers, 44, and her 4 grandchildren, Harper, Hudson, and 10-year-old twins Gavin and Grace Westland. So days after the 6 family members, they were found dead, Mechanicville Police Chief William Mr. Bunnies said the evidence strongly suggests that Steadman was behind what seems to be a group poisoning. Yeah, one of the kids, one of the younger kids, said was died by— is died by sharp, fatal sharp force injuries, but we don't know what that means. The police are also saying they believe that there was a piece of— there was a letter mother. There was some evidence of saying that it seemed that that's what indicated that Amy Steadman, the grandmother, was the one that killed everybody and then killed herself. They're not looking for anyone else, let's just say that. And the, uh, the main issue seemed to be was that there was a— I guess the father of the family was, I guess, estranged out of the picture.

Probably a dick, who knows, God knows.

And there apparently there was a re-up on the child custody situation where he was going to finally be able to come visit them. That's what it seemed like. Like one account I was reading was saying they thought it was because he was going to get custody, but it doesn't seem like that. It does seem like he was showing up. Something was happening within their custody battle that caused Amy Stedman in the most New York grandmother way possible to say, if they, they're going to take away my grandkids, nobody can have my grandkids. Because I could sort of see my mom doing this.

It's usually a very empty threat. Yeah, normally.

But every once in a while it's not, because that's why New York grandmothers have to be checked. Yeah, because New York grandmothers are fucked up. My grandmother was a literal Sicilian witch, okay? My grandmother straight up had family— she would talk about how they had family mob members that they knew and how nobody talked. This is the old country, the old days, before the stupid Italian Americans who got off becoming— acting like they're in The Goodfellas. Back in the day, they used to actually keep omerta, man. You know You know how they used to keep America? By killing everybody that said anything. Yeah, right, because Italy was fucking brutal out there. Besides all the beautiful bruschetta, all the beautiful focaccia, all the amazing mozzarella, all right, besides all that incredible food and all the fucking history there, they're fucking murderers, dude. They killed Jesus Christ, you know what I mean? It's bad over there, dude. So I can imagine grandmas being evil.

Yes. Um, there is one more. I was just like, I was thinking in my head just now, like, has there ever been another grandma family annihilator? Because that's the big deal here on a quick Google, I found Nanny Doss.

Oh dude, we covered Nanny Doss, the Giggling Granny. I'mma send you all the stuff we did. Nanny Doss, I will send you— Nanny Doss was so bad, she killed babies. Yes, also poisoning. She was one— she's the big one. She was one of the only— when we covered her, it's interesting about Nanny Doss is that she was one of the only female serial killers that talked about having a sexual nature to it.

Oh yeah, she killed 4 husbands, 2 children, and one of her sisters, her mother, 2 grandsons, and a mother-in-law.

Nanny Doss was fucked Fucked up. Wow. No, Nick, this would be a good Miseducation of Ed Larson. Oh, he needs to know. Oh my God. I wanna learn about her. I love grandmas.

Yeah, dude. My grandma, whenever she was so bad at being a grandma. Mm-hmm. You know, she never talked to me. I was recently sitting down and I was thinking like, what did my grandmother teach me? What did she tell me? And I couldn't, I didn't, only memory I could ground up was one that I found that happened all over and over again where she would just tell me to sit next to her. While she lit a cigarette and didn't smoke it. And then I wasn't allowed to talk.

Yep. Wow. Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah. See, my grandmother used to do stuff where she used to poke me. She used to poke me and say, you're getting fat, right? And then she also used to do stuff where she'd go, if she saw me eating chocolate, she'd go, chocolate will give you a heart attack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might—

and also her with Jackie, she used to pinch Jackie under the table whenever she ate.

Yeah, right.

She used to pinch her when she thought she was getting too fat. God. And then she would just do stuff where she'd be like, you need to stretch out your fingers. You have long— stretch out your fingers. She kept saying to Jackie, you're gonna be tall, you're gonna be tall.

Yeah, look at your fingers. Start with the fingers.

You're gonna be— look at your fingers, you're gonna be tall. That makes no sense. Yeah, she was an old dumb bitch. Yeah, she was old fucking dumb bitch. You didn't know anything, dude. I had no idea.

My uncle's mom, I remember I ran into her, uh, she was, she was about to die. She's dead now. She saw me for the first time. She hadn't seen me since I was a child. It's been like 15 years. I, I— 'cause she's like, "You're getting fat." I'm like, "You haven't seen me in 15 years!" I'm a 45—

I'm a 40-year-old man! What do you mean I'm getting fat? I just have bones now! I'm literally just full grown now! Also, I was born fat, lady! Yeah. You were. Yes! It started like this for you. I love it. I know! 'Cause you never had to be used to anything else. That's the best part of being fat as a kid. That's what they don't understand, is that the best part of being fat as a kid is that later on, like, as you balloon in and out of weight as a human as you go, getting back to fat, just comfortable. You ain't got to worry about it because you always look like shit. That's the best part of having looked like shit always previously. But this is— this story is unique. This very rarely happens. More information is going to come out. I do think—

what could possibly come out?

Well, you know, I want to read the letter. Yeah, yeah. But I want to find out exactly what happened. I want to find it exactly like— we don't quite know what happened, but we didn't hear the sharp object thing till right now. Yeah, there was just one of them.

That's, that's one of these— does that mean she like glass in the oatmeal or something?

No, it sounds like she stabbed one of them to death.

Oh, okay. Like, it sounds like a poison take.

Yes, or something where she didn't have enough.

And then how'd she kill herself? Poison again?

Sounds like it. Yes. All right, she drank poison. So it is very— it's, it's interesting. Very specifically in, uh, a female cishet way to kill. Yeah, which is the poison. Poison is like—

if she was a good grandma, she would have just killed the man. Exactly. Yeah. You don't gotta kill the whole family. And I think— so they don't have to be with the man. You just kill the man.

I think we have some young grandmothers that listen to our show. Yeah. I don't want you to always remember that. All right. Take it out on the guy or get the money, get the children and go get the children and go. Yeah. Cuz just cuz your daughter made these mistakes doesn't mean that you gotta do it. All right. Your daughter made the mistakes. Yeah. There's another problem. I get that. It makes me angry.

You know, she, she could have been right cuz we have another story here of a, of a man who did bad. Bad. When? Now. What? Again? Men doing bad? No. Once more, um, a boyfriend dumped his, uh, he strangled his girlfriend and he dumped her in the woods, uh, and, uh, when, uh, he did that, uh, he was such a fat loser that he had a heart attack and he died right next to her.

All right, so this is one of those things I want to— I want— I can't stress enough how important your health is.

Alabama story comes out of Alabama. And Alabama, let's look at the—

honestly, can we look at the obesity rates of Alabama? I think it's second to Mississippi.

This is a—

to me, this is systemic. Yeah. Okay, what we're seeing here is heart disease in, in Alabama is 30% of the adult population of Alabama are morbidly obese. Fourth fattest state, you know. And this is huge, guys.

West Virginia, Mississippi, and Louisiana. That's what this—

this is what this is about, really. I didn't think— I wouldn't have put West Virginia on the fat list. Oh, you have never been then, I guess.

I, I thought, you know, I figured they're all walking up those hills, you know, drinking themselves, and they—

you think they're walking?

Yeah, I think they walk everywhere. Nobody— I think they're just always dancing with their foot music. No, they arrest people who walk.

Yeah, they think people who walk are trafficking illegals. That's what they think. They don't— they don't walk. They don't walk, right?

Do you remember the West Virginia Jersey Shore where the guy died mudding? Yes, he just like—

and like, you guys are— it's not, you know, you guys aren't good enough at life to have a reality television show.

Yeah.

And so this is, to me, this is an example of like, once you hit a certain age, just because you might have used to be fit and you think you can do the things that you can used to do, because this is a story of a guy that's really used to just like doing stuff and he doesn't understand that he's got limitations now. He's 44. Yeah. And once you strangle somebody to death, that's hard enough as it is. And if you've never done any cardio and if you've not done any work, right? And if you like, it seems like apparently he had a bit of a heart condition as well, according to his ex-wife.

Yeah, he was already at a problem.

And so, you know, he was already getting, you know, just the fight leading up to this was stressing him out, right? Like just the yelling and the fighting up to this point, 'cause he's grab, you know, he's grabbing his arm a lot, being like, goddamn it, you know, you know, if you say one more thing, if you spoil another fucking episode of Pluribus, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna do it. You, you went ahead dead and watch the episodes without me.

You know what, he probably thought he strained his arm strangling her.

Probably said, God, I need to be stretching before I do something. This is one of the hardest fights. Why is it radiating? Why is all the pain radiating? And so when they found her, she was laying there. He had dragged her. They're like, it's just kind of— unfortunately, it's very cartoony where they drove past the place and they saw the abandoned— his abandoned truck was on and the door was open. The car was running with the radio going. Yeah. And the door was open. And then there was a trail leading to where he had dragged her out and she was dead with her arms up mid-drag. And he's right next to her in the fetal dead. Yeah.

He was fetal position. And then the person who found them thought that they had found mannequins.

Of course. 'Cause they, that's common. Really? Yeah. Of course.

I guess I would be like, oh, someone left mannequin. 'Cause I guess I wouldn't jump to there's a dead body over there. Yeah.

If you assume everything's a dead body, I honestly would tell you you probably have PTSD, you know what I mean? Like, it's— so if you— yeah, that's why a lot of people, I feel like they have it now. Yeah, they do. So yeah, these people are fucked. But this is a, uh, they're, they're getting into it. It seems that they got into a bit of a fight. They must have. I don't think you just strangle somebody.

Yeah. Um, the, uh, his, uh, apparently they put out an obituary for him before they realized that he murdered her, and, uh, they called him a country boy. And then they took it down.

He is one. Yeah, I don't think you could— I think you could still give him that distinction. Yeah, yeah, I think he is a country boy. As a matter of fact, I think that he is. He killed outside. He did. And he dragged her to his favorite place, and then he died there, which is honestly almost in a way it's very poetic because then he gets to go right back amongst the trees, just like the Native Americans. He gets to full circle be amongst nature. One of the leaves. Ah, there he is amongst the roots.

Oh, look at this art. We, we, we spoke poorly. He's not from Alabama. He's actually from Macon, Georgia. He just did the killing there.

Look up the— I would love to look up the obesity rates of Macon, Georgia.

I got you. I mean, it rhymes with bacon.

I would like to see that if that is because again, this is about triglycerides. Yes. And this is also why I think— 35%. 35%. Exactly the same. Yeah. I'm going to— guys, this is about the men out there.

Okay.

Listen, we got to work on cardio. Yeah, you can't just do the things you want to do just because you think you can because you used to, buddy. It's not the same. Oh, they're— well, Georgia's 19th in fat people. No, cuz Georgians got— because Atlanta tips scales, everybody's very fit now.

Everyone's so hot in Atlanta.

Everyone's hot. Hot city. It is, it's hot. Everybody likes to work out a little bit. The ones that don't work out are actually still kind of skinny. I bet Savannah's hot too. Savannah is, from what— Savannah's on the older underside. Oh, so former hot? Yes. Yeah, used to be super hot. Now they're more of like the Guelphs from our previous story. Oh, this thing also says that 44% of the obese people are below the poverty line. Yes, very much so. They're poor. Oh yeah, no, it's right. It's very—

well, I mean, that is fucked up because the fucked up thing about that is food desert. It's a food desert. Yeah. And the McDonald's, your value meal is way easier.

A salad's fucking $20 now. It is. And to buy all the ingredients for the salad, yeah, to make it home right now thanks to— we're not talking about this. Yes, we're supposed to keep it light. We're keeping it light. We're keeping it light. We're keeping it light.

We're not talking about serious issues, the systemic food desert. No, we're not talking about country.

Keep it light.

You know, a lot of people have to get their groceries at the Dollar General. We're not bringing it up.

We're not gonna talk about the fact that it's almost done on purpose to the poor by the rich, but we're not gonna get into all that because again, it's a light—

we're keeping it light. All right, the grandmother killed her family and that was because she didn't like the person that had nothing to do with her, you know? All right, how about this? Here's a light one.

Okay, good. Here's a light— here's a light one.

Uh, Milwaukee wedding, a guy was eating meatballs with his hands. Cute, right? No, it's adorable.

The guy's sitting there, he's a groomsman, he's sitting there and he's having a good time. That kind of even makes it even worse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then someone's like, hey, why eating your fucking meatballs with your hands? And so he dragged him in the kitchen and he shot him.

Dude, never. This is what I'm gonna say. If you see a guy who's at that point where he's got a meatball like an apple, if he's eating a meatball like an apple, don't talk to him. If he is at that point, yeah, it's a wedding. It's a wedding. And we might wanna— He's a groomsmen. I will say the groomsmen should be held together enough. Held to a higher standard.

Where they're not eating the meatballs with their hands. Fight over meatballs. I just love the fucking scene.

It's just like, it's just this beautiful wedding scene She says, wedding shooting, fight over meatballs. Like right next to it, it's also fat. It's a fat fight.

It is another fat fight.

We covered this a while ago. Milwaukee's also big.

There's some big people in this picture.

Also, I get it. Today's big people do wrong maybe is today's. I gotta start doing this. I wanna go to the farmer's market and be like, hmm, have you had any of these Red Delicious? And then just like pull a big meatball out of my Tupperware. Oh, these are good. Mm, these are really good. Oh yeah, you know how people eat little apples with like a knife? You're not just me with my meatball, he's eating with a knife.

Both the people lived, I want to say.

See, that to me then says, I just wish they— why bring a gun to the wedding?

Well, it was in his car and he went out and got it because he was so mad and he brought it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he shot the woman in the arm and the leg and he shot a man in the back of the neck.

She's fucking Christ. Yeah, just let him eat in the kitchen.

Yeah, just let him have his meatballs. He probably went for easier access for the meatballs. You're back at it, you're still eating the meatballs.

You're just like, shut the fuck up, you shut the fuck up, you back the fuck up, you back the fuck up, these are my meatballs, these are my meatballs, bitch.

Yeah, so that's why I'd be like, whoa, yeah, take them, let's box them up. The victim, oh, the female victim said, uh, that, uh, the, the, she's the cousin of the bride and she was in the kitchen area when she saw the groomsmen eating meatballs directly with his hands. She told him to use a plate and he punched her.

How did he get— how is he on the party? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like this is a family thing, cuz this is one of those issues too with those when you have to do mix family and friends and mix all these people who've never met each other before, you know what I mean? Where that's— cuz you know this, you— we both had weddings, you know, like when you bring the two levels of friends where you have like there's the friends that have grown up. Like we, we dealt with this a lot as comedians that in a wedding you'd have half the party where like other people from other walks of life that probably had like kids, people you're not ready to give up on. Yeah, kids and homes. But like literally, like they, they all grew up, we all got a couple. And then there's the other, the other side of the friends that are all like, you're trash. These are the friends that I used to party with and I bring them places to make them fun, to have the events be fun, but it doesn't really mesh with my new current life.

That's what it feels like this might be, where that guy is used to being like, who gives a shit? We used to eat meatballs from the tray all the time. Yeah, you fuckers usually like, oh, you know, no one said anything when I stuck my head in the soup tureen, right? Like at the bat mitzvah, right? Like there's guys like that because there are guys that are like, he'd stick his head in the soup tureen 10 years ago, everyone's like, oh fuck, this is the most lit shit in the world. Being like, he's like, I thought you guys would think this was hilarious. Yeah, because meatballs, meatballs in my hand, that's hilarious objectively.

And then no, he did leave behind a gift, apparently an envelope addressed to the groom.

I think he was embarrassed, man. Someone just— one gift certificate to Maggiano's. Yeah, you know, like if someone called you out for eating a meatball with your hands at a restaurant, you'd be embarrassed probably, right? I'd say I'm sorry.

I think a lot of it has to do with alcohol. The, you know, people— I've noticed as someone who went to a wedding recently with a bunch of youngsters, and I had a great time, and I loved how, how happy happy they were. And I remember my weddings from the past. You— I— when you're young, you're so excited, you show up hammered. Yeah, yeah, you get— and then you got a flask in your pocket and there's free booze, you know, and it's just like, it's just a recipe for disaster.

Yeah. And we just don't fight, we don't do that anymore. But yeah, it seems like it got really loose in there and they were not really— they were mad about the meatball. Yeah. So maybe they wanted to keep the meatballs, but I would say if I see somebody, you know, just fucking box up the meatballs, give them the meatballs.

Yeah. Also, if you're planning a wedding, maybe no meatballs, do a bolognese. Interesting.

Harder to eat with your hands. See, I like hand food. Swedish meatballs aren't hand food. Yeah, they are.

They are. If they don't have sauce on them, they can be.

See what I do, dude?

I love a non-sauced meatball. Well, you know, I always do.

Oh my God, when I make meatballs, I make like 4 meatballs for me while I'm eating. Yeah, and I eat those meatballs with no sauce because they're my favorite meatballs.

The meatball on the fork, you put them in the oven and then you fry them to give them the shell. You do that? Oh my God.

I don't— you see, my mom grew up with the no fry. That's what I do there.

I did no fry like my meatballs. I re— I bake them first and then And then I put them in the sauce because I'm trying to, you know, you don't have to fry them afterwards.

I always bake them.

I love when they have the shell.

See, I put them at, you can get the shell, you can get the shell easy if you do it at a super high temperature for a very small amount of time. So if you actually put the oven up to like 475. You do have good meatballs. I do, and I try. So I put the oven up, 475, toss the meatballs in for like just 20 minutes, get them to brown as fast as possible. Fuck yeah. Then I put them in.

How much, do you use a lot of breadcrumbs or just a little bit?

I use, what I like to do truly, I over-egg my meatballs. So I put a lot of eggs and I put a little bit of half and half in there, but then I try to make it, then everything's by hand feel. So then I add breadcrumbs by, by bread, 'cause I kind of want it to be not so wet, but I want it to not be dry.

Yeah. I over egg my mashed potatoes.

Yeah. You like putting that, you put eggs in the mashed potatoes.

Yeah. I put eggs in the mashed potatoes, which makes them more bounty.

He does it. He's been doing that. His mom taught him to do that. Yeah.

You just crack 2 eggs in the mashed potatoes while they're all hot and then you mix it up and it cooks inside of it, it's fucking good.

Yeah, it makes it like— it does. He does that. He makes it like thicken— thickens them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I haven't made meatballs in so long.

You should do it. Meatballs. I— we are meatball— I make a meatball for you about once a week.

That's the brighter side of this story. Meatballs. We're going to have more meatballs in our life because this guy's a fucking pig.

Whatever this fucking guy is, this is now a meatball show. Also, we have just went past these crimes. We're here talking about meatballs, which is the heart of the show. Yeah, man.

See, I think it's fucked up that this guy used a gun. Because, yes, because he's not—

he already punched the woman.

You're not willing to use a fork, but you're willing to use a different instrument. Wow, what a weird— yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, I think if you're gonna kill someone or try to kill someone after you eating with your hands, strangle.

Can I ask honestly, were the meatballs sauced? We don't know. That's not in the article. If the meatball's not sauced, yeah, the other people were wrong. Yeah, I'm gonna say that if the meatball wasn't sauced sauce. What are we fighting for? Yeah, don't ask me, I don't give a damn.

He's looking at 25 years.

When have you ever seen an unsauced meatball at a wedding though? I depend— oh, not at a wedding. Never at a wedding. Nobody keeps pre-sauced meatballs.

No, you have to show up early to an Italian's house. That's how you get a pre-sauced meatball. Well, you got to hang out with the chef. Yeah, you got to hang out in the kitchen. Yeah, that's how you— that's how you get the good shit early. Try this. Yeah, try another one. Fuck yeah.

We got to move on. We got to move on. We're just talking about meatballs now, which again, I will talk about meatballs for the of her life. Rise from your grave. But Eddie, can you describe, um, I want you to do this one last story about the car that I should have—

we should have gotten. The car?

Oh, this is what I'm mad— yes, so I'm mad that I didn't get this car.

So my man, um, Mr. Pastrami, uh, shout out to Roundtable, he sent me this and he's like, you got to buy this for Henry. I want it so bad. And I— my response was, and it's— I now know that I'm wrong, I I was like, not yet, Henry's not dying yet. But now you, you do want it.

Oh no, of course I fucking want it. I don't need to be dying to enjoy myself. So this is coming out of China.

A Chinese technology firm called U-Ban has created an autonomous toilet to help people with limited mobility. Uh, basically it's a remote-controlled toilet that comes to your bed, dude, and it fucking washes and wipes your ass.

I don't give a fucking shit. I want to see how much this costs. Think about this.

Self-driving smart toilet, dude.

At night, you got to go to the bathroom. How many times you get to use this?

Like 3 times. Me too. You be helped. Nice if I just like can put my legs over. Fucker comes over, he's like, I like you, feed me, feed me so much, thank you so much. I'm thirsty. I would love to look Julie in the eyes while I shit next to the bed.

Hop on, partner, time to take you to the rodeo. And then it just spins me as I shit, you know.

I'm like, we That'd be the funnest part, doing loop-de-loops while you poop every fucking everywhere.

Go picking up the mail, you know, like, come out just actively shitting while I get the mail, actively shitting while I go get my food. I ain't exposing myself.

I got a blanket on top of me.

You can't see anything because my belly's covering my dick and balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, so, so what it does is it empties itself into an actual toilet.

That is the most incredible thing I've ever— this is— I've I want this. Yeah, why is this just for dying and old people? Yeah, they could use this at the EDM festival. Oh yeah, tell me about that. Then the baby could be driven by the robot to the hospital, you know what I mean? Because then it could sense— Eddie, it's amazing. It's how we show delivery. That's how we keep any baby from being—

to the maternity ward. Uh, go away.

I want that way. I feel like I'm actually— this— you're not meant to poop in it. What are you fucking— oh, fuck. This shit. Oh, fuck you. You can't comfortably poop. You can poop. You can poop. It's in my house.

You got to get it out. Yeah, it's my fucking house.

Fuck you, dude. That's some Chinese trickery. Yeah, that's what that is. That's some Chinese-ass trickery trying to fucking— what in the living fuck? That is— I'm angry, dude. This is a trap. It's a prank.

They have ultraviolet sterilization to kill bacteria. That's nice.

What does it matter if you can't dump pumping it, right?

He's getting rid of your pee pee particles. My pee pee particles ain't that stinky. Oh yeah, yeah, mine are. I got that vitamin D too, dude. Start making my pee pee particles all kinds of stinky.

They love it. Stop it. You know, that's why you gotta flush the lid of the toilet.

Close the lid to the toilet. That way when you flush, your pee pee particles don't fly up in the air and get on your toothbrush.

That is true. That is what you should do.

Absolutely. I learned that from a man. Yeah, yeah, it's a man. My name, pee pee particles. Yeah, I know.

Hello, I couldn't help but notice you put pee pee particles everywhere, and that's why I'm here. It's me, Mr. Monsignor Pee Pee Particles. No, I, uh, I'm mad.

You mad you can't shit in it?

It's $13,000 and I can't fucking shit in it. Fuck you. It's $4,000. It's $4,000.

Oh, I think the price varies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'd pay $13,000 if I could shit in it.

You, you would go up that high?

You go up an extra $9,000 if it can just to shit in it.

If it can climb stairs.

If it could— if I can shit in it and it can go upstairs, that would be— look, here's the inside. It's got a grinder in it. No, I know, dude.

Fuck yeah, dude. Oh man, that's awesome.

So can you do it for espresso and for cold brew? Do they have— what, what, what are the levels on the grind?

Oh man, this makes me want to get old so bad.

See, I feel like Eddie— this is what I'm saying. I I hate— I also hate it when they make the urine brown in it. They made the fake wastewater in it. Oh yeah, it's like brown. Yeah, well, it's probably diarrhea, hopefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also assume maybe that if you're older, you are shitting more liquid.

Oh, they say it's, uh, got similar technology as a Roomba.

I mean, it's going to just scare the shit out Oh yeah. Oh wow.

Yeah, but this is great. I'm mad at China.

Why are you mad at them?

They're lying. They're helping. This is an advancement.

No, dude, not unless you can shit in it.

It is getting you closer to your poo-poo remote control car.

I know, but I want to shit in it, all right? I want to be able to shit in it. And until that— until that happens, there's no no point. The piss is able not to be anything. Truly, piss is easier to contain on your body than poop.

When Henry was a kid, he destroyed so many Power Wheels. I did, I did.

But that's right, do you know what I mean, right? Like, you got rubber sheets, you got all the difference of— except for that, I do send you that one. There's one, um, there's one series of videos I send to Eddie all the time of this, like, one family dealing with a large, very large development disabled boy that's like probably 6.5 feet tall ripping their home to shreds, right? It's like really kind of scary. They gotta bolt them down to all the chairs. You like, they have to bolt the refrigerator to the wall.

There's gates everywhere. It's really intense. It's like, it's crazy.

It's like these people, it's like, it's very exploitive. It's extremely exploitive. I don't know if it is. I just don't, I don't, either way, I just think it's icky.

But the thing is, you're the biggest fan.

I keep sending you the videos because the way they have to wrap the bed for the amount that he urinates. Yes, they have to put 2 rubber sheets on it, then they put wicking sheets on it, then they wrap him in several blankets because of just how much urine he emits at night. Yeah, and I feel like that's the thing, that urine can be captured. Yeah, I think it's poo-poo that needs to be dealt with.

See, I don't find it exploitative because they clearly love him.

Yes, but they are putting it on the internet.

You know, if you're making money, God bless them. I'm sure their bills are fucking through the roof.

Oh, I mean, I do understand that. It's very— it's a comp— I would say it's a complex—

I don't think they're exploiting him. I think they're showing us how how hard their life is. They are.

But then also, but then in that way it is sort of exploitative. But I also get it. I, I don't— I get— I kind of get both.

Yeah, I'll get both.

But I was just saying about how you'd be crazy— you'd be surprised how much urine somebody can make. That's what this light episode was all about, all right? It was how much urine you can potentially make, which is honestly half a gallon. So I think it's time for some listener emails.

Oh yeah, which I think is kind of stays on topic.

Yeah, I I love this one. So we asked last week the question about human foie gras and about if you get to a certain weight point, what happens to your liver? Like they used to do with geese where they go and they force-feed them delicious aromatic foods and then they take their liver and they grind it into pâté. We wonder if the same thing could happen. I got a very interesting email. Someone sent the source from this medical, uh, article. This was from the, uh, the NIH. It cites regular human hepatocyte steatosis at 5% and quote unquote grade 3 severe steatosis as 67% or more, meaning human fat content in the liver can exceed 67%, which is higher than foie foie gras. So like, that's higher than the fat amount that would be in a normal foie gras from a geese, right? So it's definitely possible for human liver— livers to reach foie gras ratio of steatosis to functional hepatocytes. So medically it would look the same. However, mammalian livers, including human livers, are susceptible to infection by parasitic flukes such as Clonorchis sinensis. And Optiscorpus vervarini, which is— I had a great Optiscorpus vervarini over at Mother Wolf, which is quite good.

And they are known— those are known to cause cancer. Additionally, prions have been found in liver tissue. So generally eating human foie gras is medically unsafe. Aside— of course, it's human. Yeah, yes, of course. But he was saying aside from all the moral issues, right? Whatever. Mostly adding this part for whatever FBI agent has to read this as the results of me feeling the need to answer your thought experiment. Also, orcas eating only liver means other animals get to eat the rest, contributing to nutrient fall and marine snow for a larger ecosystem. So it's not always full.

Oh, all right, have fun, dude. I watched this fucking awesome orca documentary on the flight. Yeah, you're saying, dude, it was, it was all about how they, you know, they do the thing where they like do the, make the waves and knock the seals off of the ice sheets and stuff like that. And so they wanted to film all of it, just all the orcas like doing it and working as a team, which is because it's like the coolest way animals hunt. But the thing was, they never, they doing something they never seen before. They had one seal, it got up on a, like, a big old iceberg, like a real big one. They're like, they're never— the orcas are never getting the seal off of this one. The fucking orcas worked as a team and headbutted the iceberg until it broke up. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah. Then they, then they ate the seal. It was fucking awesome, man.

That's so fucking cool. Honestly, it's very— it's intense. Yeah, I know. I had a great time watching it. It's intense. But I, you know what I was saying? It's kind Nicole. Thank you, Air Canada. And it's good. The whales got to eat. Whale got to eat. They got to eat. Got to eat.

All right, uh, but yeah, that was a lot of fun. Oh, guys, uh, before we go, I just want to make sure everyone knows that we only got 2 JK Ultra shows left.

Yes, please come. And I got— and the end, the most important one's our very, very final one.

Yes, um, so we got Tulsa on July 17th, and then we got Oklahoma City on July 18th. And the Oklahoma City city show for everyone who's mad they couldn't make it to, uh, to the JK Ultra Tour. If we accidentally missed your city— Phoenix, I'm sorry— um, go and you can watch the live stream of the very last show of the tour. Yeah, that's right. So we're gonna have live stream, uh, details will be on our website, lastpodcastontheleft.com. Uh, make sure you check that out and watch it. And the live stream will be available for 2 weeks. Yes. So even if you miss it in real time, you can go back and watch the replay for 2 weeks. It'll be fun. So find the link, it's going to be on our website. It's not technically there yet, but it will be there by the end of the week. And go check out this live stream. I'm very excited for it. I'm glad everyone's going to be able to see it.

I really love our show, and I think— but I'm also excited. I'm excited for new ventures, new stuff. Yeah, but I can't wait for you to see it. Go and check it out. We will have all that information on our socials and here on the show. Um, the socials, go to LP on the Left for all of that horseshit. And, uh, live every day knowing that you If you're not yet the Mexican Batman, you can be one. Yeah, you can be one. And then you can love the fact that you are changing your neighborhood one ratero at a time. All right. And then you can laugh at everyone, especially once the, uh, once the, once the Daily Goobell tells them, oh, we're gonna fucking get, we're gonna get you, Batman. We're coming for you, The Batman. Just know that you're gonna, they're gonna regret the day they came for you, Mexican Batman.

That's right. And don't worry, we got plenty of more shows down the road for everybody. Come see us. Um, Side Stories is about to announce more more shows soon. But, oh yeah, um, right now we, we are officially doing Redway again. We are, we are, we are doing it again. That's going to be on October 24th at the Mateo Community Center. We'll never get inside, but we're just doing that show every year, I guess.

We love this show. We come on out. We're going to be bringing some special guests though this time. Yeah, it's gonna be—

we're gonna have a lot of fun.

We're gonna have a lot of fun. And we're bringing some people from the network. We're gonna bring something like— we're really doing it this time.

And of course, go to crimewaveatsea.com/left to come see us in February out. We're doing that again. And then you want to come see me on robe. I got all kinds of shit going on. First of all, Friday in town in Los Angeles, uh, Julie and I are taking over Amber's weekly free show. Yeah, it's Amber's birthday this week, and so we're— Julie and I are going to take over and host it. We're gonna have some fun. Pat Barker from the show is going to be there. I'm very excited. Uh, that's gonna be fun. That's gonna be over at the Clubhouse at 7 PM. That's free. So if you're in town, come and check that out. That's gonna be a blast. It's a really quick, easy show. And then I'm going. I'm doing my tri-state area tour. Yeah, tickets are low for each one of these shows, so if you want to come to any of them, make sure you hop in there now. I got July 10th, Salute to Bethlehem with Ruby Deer and Disney Dan Becker. That's going to be amazing. We got very little tickets left for that in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Newark, New Jersey on, uh, July 12th.

July 13th, City Winery in New York. I'm co-headlining with Kirsten Michelle Sills, and I got a bunch of chucklehutters, and it's gonna be be a big show. I got 3 chuckle-hutters. I'm keeping them as a surprise for you guys. If you're Roundtable fans, come and check that show out. Um, then right after the Oklahoma City on July 19th, I'm gonna be in Dallas, AKA Plano, Texas, at Mic Drop. Come and check that show out. Henry and I only got a couple tickets left. Uh, we're doing Ed Larson and Friends at the Comedy Store. That's gonna be July 26th. There's literally only 10 tickets left, so if you want to come to that, you better get in there. It's gonna be in the Belly Room. Henry and I are co-hosting, and then I'm gonna do a set at the end, and I got some friends there. Nicole Buchanan, shout out to you, and John Grace. Did you— gonna have a lot of fun. And then one of my Chicago shows sold out. So Saturday in Chicago is sold out. You can't get tickets to that anymore, but I got a ticket. I— we opened up a show on Friday.

That's July 31st at the Lincoln Lodge. Come and see that show. It's a late night show, 10 PM. You got a lot of shows. I do got a lot of shows. And don't forget, in August 16th, Dead Men Tell Some Tales here, D23 weekend at Dynasty Typewriter. We're doing— bringing that show back, and my boy Henry's going to be there for that as well. I got so many more shows coming down the pipe. DC, Milwaukee, Denver, San Francisco, Nashville, Rochester. Go to eddietunes.com to get access to all those shows. And also, before before we go, Rob's been twitching.

Rob's been twitching, not just season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's over on Twitch. Yeah, what's your, what's your handle on Twitch? Uh, @roboki on Twitch.

@roboki, go check it out. You've been twitching, you've been watching shit and hanging out with people.

Yeah, we just watched the whole Backrooms YouTube series. It was 2 and a half hours long, it was great. You got work to do. Yeah, you gotta be fucking— I need to take a break. No, I'm glad you're doing a break. This is the problem, he's doing that thing. We start to be like, you can't monetize all your vlogs, Rob, you're gonna freak out. Tell them.

No, but come check it out, it'll be fun. It's amazing. Uh, yeah, we love you guys. Thank you for hanging out with us. Love you.

Hail Satan.

Hail, uh, hell Grooves Records. Yeah, that place was really cool.