Transcript of Side Stories: Christmas Movie Stories

Do you want to listen to Last Podcast on the Left without ads? Do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon. Com/lastpodcastsontheleft.

There's no place to escape to. This is The Last Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories. Yes. No, what a wonderful Christmas day.

Dinglebells, dinglebells, dingle in my ass. I got dick and it dingles and it pees out its front. Hey, dinglebells, dinglebells, I pee on my balls.

Why is he doing this perverted song?

Yeah.

Why is he- I like how perverted it is.

Why is he doing a song about urine?

Dinglebells, baby. Well, last year, I had shinglebells, everybody.

You did that. You I did that joke at me.

I did that joke constantly every holiday. You told me you need new Christmas humor, Ed. It's a good one. You know where it originated? It'll never be as good as where it originated. One time on Christmas, I called my aunt Patty, and she's like, I have a shingle. I was just like, Oh, you mean shinglebells? Then she got really mad and hung up the phone.

I bet I'd also hang up the phone. I was like, That's a fucking great...

That proof that it was a great joke.

You're right, because that's the audience that needed to receive it.

Hell, yeah. You got to rib the person that's got the shingles always.

If she can't take a joke, how is she going to handle the rest of the shingles?

That's some cream.

You really got to smile your way through it. Welcome to Side Stories, talking about smiling. Side Story. My name is Andrew Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How are you doing? Then I have a little bitch on a shelf. Oh, yeah, you better get to him right on the snitch.

I'm here to tell everybody Sandy Claus, Sandy Claus. Henry's touching my panties again. It's always scary when the bitch on the shelf comes to snitch.

That's right. Jackie Zabrowski. I don't touch the bitch on the shelf's panties.

I know it doesn't matter, but the bitch on the shelf says you do, and you don't get no fucking toys, fat boy.

Can't stop the bitch on the shelf. Can't stop the bitch on the shelf.

I'll hold my honesty on my own. I'll hold my true story.

Your blood pressure's high.

Yeah, it is.

Oh, yeah.

Long week.

Our Halloween movie show, our horror movie show, people really liked it.

People did enjoy it.

We figured as a Christmas gift to the audience, we would come back and talk about Christmas movies with Jackie. Me, I love a good Christmas movie.

I am fine with them. Now, we're talking about Christmas movies. I'm glad we are because it is Christmas Day. This is the last day in which I am happy. I believe I've received enough Christmas. I started celebrating Christmas with the rest of society as I was forced to on December first. I have gone and seen several trees. I saw the big tree. I went to 30 Rock. I went down to, fuck it, I went to two malls. We went to the gay men's choir, which was amazing and special. We certainly did. Yes. What's awesome is that the second we press stop on this recording, I get to be finally out of Christmas. Wow. But I have- You're hosting Christmas. Christmas Eve, it's different. Christmas Eve is nice.

Yeah, it is Christmas Eve doesn't...

Jesus ain't here yet. That's what's nice about Christmas Eve.

Wait, does he show up on Christmas Day?

Yeah, in the morning. That's when he flops out of her fucking big raggedy ass pussy.

I invited some people to your house on Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah? Who's coming? Some people. I'm not going to be there, though. If you can just entertain them and feed them, I'd appreciate it. Hell, yeah.

Maybe that Uncle Ron guy. What's his name, the guy I've been watching on Instagram? Uncle Ron?

Uncle Ron is Ron Pertee. That's not who you're thinking of.

No, there's a guy that we've been watching. It's highly inappropriate.

Oh, and he's also He's called Uncle Ron?

Yeah, he's called Uncle Roy.

Oh, yeah. He's very upsetting Jackie. Where is it?

I want to find this. Before we start talking about Christmas movies- We should not be plugging this guy.

Your phone's over here.

I think that he's a... Yeah, he's a fucking problem, this guy, man.

No, he's definitely my father's potential favorite comedian, but he doesn't mean he's a good man.

I got you. No, it's Uncle Ron.

Oh, it is Uncle Ron.

Yeah, it is Uncle Ron. He said some really controversial stuff, and he likes to piss his own pants. He's my Christmas spirit animal.

Is he a postman? You Speaking of Christmas, I don't think he has a job. When I worked at the Village Pour house in the East Village, I remember we used to have big Christmas parties all the time. They were like, That was where you make a lot of money that time. That time of year. Then I remember American Airlines came in and they were like, We're going to have a big party in the back, and we charged the shit out of it. We jacked that shit up. Give us your fucking money.

That's what you get, man. Give me that fucking stupid comfort seating money.

But what happened was we jacked it up to an obscene amount of money. They agreed to pay it. But remember how the postman used always get drunk? One of them stumbled in the back and pissed and shit his pants in the middle of the.

That's what I'm talking about. I am so upset, man.

Dress as a postman.

I love this. We were just watching Scrooge, and I was thinking about this, man, I'm so sad that we missed out on big, drunk corporate parties where everybody made horrible mistakes.

I've been to a bunch of them, but yeah, those days are over.

But just understand, the problem with those parties is that, let's say there's 60 people there. 20 people are having the best night of their life. It's fine. It's wherever they want to get the hell out of there. And 20 people experience a life-shattering trauma that ends their career and ends their life. We're live.

Holidays all about a crapshoot.

You never know what's going to come up.

But we want my ass on the copy machine.

Yeah, Jackie, you can do that at home.

Yeah, we'll get you a copy machine.

Can you find me one, please? They still have them somewhere, right?

Oh, yeah, or a scanner, at least. Now, this is one One of the questions I have that I prepped for today, and this is a perfect way to go into it. I know we're eventually going to get to what we think are the worst Christmas movies ever.

Oh, yeah, I have mine.

Yeah, but before we get into that, since we're talking about Scrooge, I wanted to get your opinion because I know we all love Scrooge.

I think Scrooge is probably one of my top 10 movies.

Scrooge, or you only can keep one, Buffy Christmas Carol, because they're basically the same plot. They are. The same breakdown. Fuck all the other Scrooge movies and all that stuff.

Can't we just burn the books of Charles Dickens instead?

Charles Cawkins, please.

I'm sorry. According to Uncle Ron.

To me, I feel like I used to love Scrooged But as time goes by, Muppet Christmas Carol is irreplaceable.

Muppet Christmas Carol is objectively a better film than Scrooge. Better acted. Well, I'd say in terms of the accuracy to the material, the way the material is presented, how much fun I'm having when I'm watching it. I love singing the song.

Looking at their little Muppet feet.

I love Muppets, and I think that it's a better film, but I think that it's the opposite for me as I get older.

Scrooged is evil.

But Scrooge I learn more from. You think so? The ending monolog for Scrooged, which even though it's hard because Bill Murray was, I guess, famously a piece of shit on that set.

On most sets, apparently.

Yeah, he was a... Unfortunately. Even though he's my comedy hero, one of my comedy heroes, and I'd fainé if I met him, he's one of those people that he technically took that entire set hostage, and he did whatever he wanted with it. But that ending speech that he gives is so heartfelt and so... It felt like Bill Murray talking to himself. It felt like a hard man talking to himself in the only way he can, which is through character on camera and convincing himself that Christmas is good.

Him and Karen Allen together is electric.

But what about that? But what about that? Fifteen years later, and they just start making out.

It's very creepy. I think it is. We were joking about that. Now I'm watching it. It is a little bit creepy that it's all of a sudden it's like, he is against every fiber of your being. It's never going to work. But I have a question for you guys. We talk about this on Page 7 every year. How do you feel about the fact that on Disney+, and also I believe the DVDs, they took out in Muppet Christmas Carol, they took out The Love is Gone, But you can watch it in the extended version, like the theatrical version on Disney+, but it's not the original thing that you click on. They take out what I call is the full crumb of the movie. They take out the love song because they're like, Kids don't like it. It doesn't cast well. But it's such an amazing song, and it's also very important to the story.

Because it makes you understand what happened to Scrooge.

I dare say that I would choose Scrooge if we're talking about Muppet Christmas Carol without When Love is Gone. But with When Love is Gone, I feel that Muppet Christmas Carol is... It hurts me to say it, but it's a better song.

It's a better movie. The love's gone, the sweetest dream that we have ever known.

I did not see this. I know. Also, Scrooge has Jeffrey Joseph. Yes, he was our buddy. Which is very important.

I can text him each time or comment on an Instagram that I just saw you in the film.

It never fails that I watch it legitimately every year, and it always makes me laugh. It really does.

It's filled with jokes.

Richard Donner, who would have thought? It's all good. But again, it's all Bill Murray. Then the other and the characters, it was the- Carol Caine. It's just an incredibly cast film. It's just so good. It's so well cast. Bobcat Goldthwait, which then you think about Head Goldthwait, how he made an entire superstar-level career with just having a funny voice. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

It's the dream.

It just doesn't happen anymore, but he made it like a dream that you thought you could get. Do you remember he had an entire summer blockbuster film of him talking to a horse?

Oh, Hot to Try. Yeah. John Candy played the horse.

It was a huge movie. Yeah.

But his Bigfoot movie, actually, I don't think was that bad.

I enjoyed it.

Willow Creek was good. It's not. It is definitely one of those that's more in your brain than of what you're seeing. So it's not like, I think a lot of people thought it was boring, but I thought it was fun.

God bless America is pretty crazy.

I like God bless America, but it's interesting. It also doesn't... I don't know if it holds up.

It doesn't hold up as much, but also is more poignant than ever at the I love Bob Good Goldquate as a director.

Willow Creek, I thought was weak, only just because Bigfoot, I don't find scary.

You're right, Bigfoot is not scary. I went into it knowing nothing about it. I think that's why I enjoyed it because I didn't know absolutely anything. The Father of the Year is David Spade. Yeah, that's a very different movie. It's a different one. Yeah, World's Greatest Dad is the one of those on.

But Bob K. Goldthwait is a very good director, but that's the... The rest of the cast of that movie- Father of the Year.

They also been in the movie called Man of the Year still holds up. I watched it a couple of years ago. I was just like, Man.

Robin Williams is so But you could see where we get confused.

Yeah, there's a lot of movies out there.

But one thing we wanted to talk about today, I think most important in this world of negativity, we wanted to talk about what we consider to be the worst- The worst of them. The worst Christmas movie.

Because everybody I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like the best ones.

I, and we will.

I, personally, I understand I'm against... I have an unpopular opinion. If I dislike all of the old maudlin Christmas movies.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I hate Miracle on 34th Street. I don't like Meet Me in St. Louis. I don't like a White Christmas. I don't like any of those. You know what it is?

They're good for the daytime, not nighttime.

How do I say they're all movies made by horrible, abusive drunks.

So was the Wizard of Oz.

Exactly. But it was good. The Wizard of Oz is good. You know what it is? They inspire an emotional response in me that I don't It's a wonderful life also. Those are the type of things that it's like, That's not what I like from Christmas. I hate sad Christmas.

You hate sad anything. I feel like any time you feel precipitation on your face, you just go, I hope I'm sweating.

Yeah, Jackie and I live in the sad world.

I love to be sad. Well, Jackie likes to cry. I dislike crying. But it's not for me. I just don't like sad films.

I refuse to work out, and tears are the same solution as sweat.

You're damn right. Because it's just your body crying. You damn right.

But I think that the worst Christmas movie of all time, as far as I'm concerned, is Christmas with the Cranks. Wow. Christmas with the Cranks. The reason why I absolutely can't stand that movie is that it is, unfortunately, Tim Allen at the end of his powers. Jamie Lee Curtis. He's got him back.

He's got his powers back.

Jamie Lee Curtis is fun in it. I don't think it deserves 5% on Rotten Tomat. If you like these shit Christmas movies, it is perfect for that.

I feel like- It's not, though. Do you understand what the message for that movie is? The very center of that movie is? Don't you even try to be different. It's all commercialism. It's literally about, don't try to be different. Do the same thing that you've always done. Do what we do. Don't do what other people want you to do.

That's what Christmas movies are.

It's all about conforming and coming home to a family that you don't want to go to, and then you got to go and be a part of this ritual that you don't want to necessarily be in. Everybody's pressuring you and screaming at you about how you're ruining everything because you don't want to do it. Everybody's a fucking busy body in the movie. I don't like the message of the movie. It makes me angry. All right.

All right.

Yes, that's the thing. It's literally the message of the... It's not even just the movie. I'm not talking about the casting. Dan Ackeroid's in it. I love him. There's a couple other funny little bits in it.

He's been in a lot of shitty movies.

Oh, Yeah, he just needs the money. Now that he's got, he's cheating, so he's spending for two. Dan Ackeroid got a divorce. Yes. After like 40 years of marriage, man, men are down.

Man, something broke that Campbell's I tell you what. No, man.

It's an écoroid. He got sick of turning it down.

Yeah, that's what it was.

I'm sure. Hey, man, look at him. Look at him now. This just happened.

Look at how thick his neck is. It's what everybody dreams of.

They're separating, so maybe they work it out. He still visit his wife's- They are legally married.

Well, they are estranged, which is almost worse than divorce. He says he always goes to visit his wife, Donna's magnificent home. He has purchased. What are you going to You can't keep one of my boys down. That's a Blues brother, man.

I do love the Roids.

That's my celebration right there, man. The freedom of Dan Ackeroid. He needs to be free, dude. We need to get him out there, man.

We need to You don't think it had anything to do with this obsession of the occult and aliens? Maybe it's a look into your future? Yeah.

Ufos and love of the material kills love. I've been saying this for years. They were married for 39 years. No, but he got thirsty. He met some horny ass, fucking probably some lady with no bra on from Southern California or Sedona, Arizona. They wanted to tell him all about crystals and stuff, and he's like, Oh, you mean crystals I can buy? And she's like, No. And she shows her her hard nipples.

Yeah. Is that what happened?

I hope so, for his sake. Hell, yeah. He's never going to come on the show now. We're going to talk with him.

I want to talk with him about this. I love him. I want to talk with him about how you still fucking.

How are you still out there fucking? What's that game They fucking glue popsicle sticks to their penis.

Jackie, what is your worst Christmas film?

Really depends on what we're talking about when it comes to worst and what the criteria is. What are you talking about? It took me a while to figure out. That's what I was about to say. For my specific criteria, I'm going to say any Christmas movie that adds Christ into it. That is a lot of them. That's the thing.

Christ shouldn't be in the season. We're past We're post-Christ.

It's over it. Like, already born. We already did it. Who gives a shit? It is about buying presents, and it's about eating a bunch of fish on Christmas Eve. Yes. Last year, we did watch the movie Saving Christmas, which is the Kirk Cameron Well, I mean, come on.

Of course, because- This might be the word. You might win this round.

It is. It really is because you think like, Oh, it's going to be so bad. It's fun to watch, but it's not. There's also, I think most movies that have a... Oh, God, I can't think of the word right now. What is it called when everybody stops and starts singing and dancing in the middle of the street?

It's a musical.

No, no, no, no, no. There's a flashmob.

Flashmobs. Oh, my God.

It's I hate flashmobs. I hate flashmobs so much.

You almost forgot they existed.

I hate flashmops.

I hate flashmops. God, I hate flashmobs. I love a musical. I hate a fucking flashmob.

Well, I just learned the term die and non-diegetic, which is if movements happen within the world of a film or happen outside of the world of the film, and that whether or not people, there's a conversation about musicals being diegetic or non-diegetic, are the songs in a musical natural to the environment of the musical? Are they reality or are they separate from reality? Is it a moment of commentary upon the musical or is the musical within itself?

Is it subtext or text?

Yes.

Yeah. Then look at this.

Look, diegetic versus diegetic. If you look at this, it says... We pop it, we're going to read it. All right, diegetic. Sounds that belong in the world of the film. So So diegetic sound is stuff like, when they do the thing where you hear a song playing at the top of a movie and you see somebody driving, and then they shut off the song in the car and the radio. That's called diegetic sound because that sound is within the world of the movie. Non-diegetic is stuff like narrative voiceovers, stuff that is outside of the screen sources.

Okay, that's very interesting. Well, we all learned something today, and I appreciate that. Now, something that... One movie, I dare say, that goes up against Saving Christmas for me is a movie I've actually seen multiple times, and every time I watch it, I get more and more enraged. That is the movie Jack Frost. And that is story, and I'm not talking about the horror movie. The Michael Keaton one? I'm talking about the Michael Keaton one. It's bad. It's on my list as well. I will stare at Kelly Preston, do almost anything just because I like the look of her. Rest in peace. But Jack Frost- She does? Yeah, you look at her corpse. Oh, yeah, man. I'm looking at that. Kelly Preston's dead? Yeah, man. She's winking at me. Winking at me. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

John J. Wilt's son died. When did Kelly Preston die?

Years ago.

It was right after. He was very close to the son died. She died of cancer, too. Wow. Yeah. Really, really sad. Holy shit.

Rip.

Rip. Very sad. In it. It's the only way to get a scienceology clean.

It's like they pressed her on the ground.

Baby, Schinglesbells, come on.

It's been four years. I got to make the joke.

It's okay now. Enough time is passed.

I think what makes me the most angry is that Michael Keaton in the movie is in this like a Blues traveler band.

That would be a good role for him maybe.

Sure, because I love Michael Keaton. It's why I've seen this movie six or seven I've never seen it.

Don't. I'm not going. Save your fucking time.

Watch the other Jack Frost. The horror movie? The horror movie, and at least then it's like...

That's with...

He looks good with the guitar in his hands. That's for certain.

Shannon Elizabeth is in that one, right?

Yes. Yeah. But this movie made me so upset.

Where's she at?

Shannon Elizabeth? She was just- She's around. Yeah, she's still doing stuff. You know what? She was in recently, the remake of Night of the Demons. She played Angela.

She's a A professional poker player.

Really? Whoa, no way.

That's cool. That's hot. I mean, she just got so, but I don't even like gambling. That's really fucking cool.

I'd sit there and blow on the chips. I'll blow on the desk. Get a little cocktail dress on. Come on, Shannon Elizabeth. You got two first names. Come on. You know what says here, according to Jack Frost, did you know Jackie, three of Frank Zappa's four children are in it?

Dweizel. Which one?

Dweizel, Ahmet, and Moon Unit.

Man, whenever they did Celebrity Jeopardy, I would get so mad because they would never take it seriously. No, of course not. It's Moon Unit.

What else has Moon Unit done? Oh, he's just, Wow, just wrote a memoir. Earth to Moon. Oh, sorry. He put it as a guess.

Also, as we were just looking up Jack Frost, I forgot also specifically about the Santa Claus 3, which stars, and this pains me to say it.

I watched it a couple of years ago.

Moon Unit as a woman?

Yeah, as Winter.

As Jack Frost. Yeah.

Moon Unit Zappa's a woman?

Sure.

I'm not going to answer that question.

I have no idea. I refuse it.

No, it says it's a woman. It says an American actress, singer, an author. I don't trust Google.

Could be incorrect.

That's great.

Looks like a woman. I'll call it a woman.

He's got a little bandana on there. Sorry, I just slid down a Moon Unit Zappa hole.

Whoa, don't tell your wife.

Yeah, Hey, come on. It just with my pain.

But I also do like... I am the person, though, that really enjoys a hallmark. I like a shitty Christmas movie.

Well, you love Christmas.

I like a bad Christmas movie as well. I'll watch a bad Christmas movie. The Lindsay Lohan movie that came out last year where she gets amnesia, that was a lot of fun. The one that came out this year- She's not good.

Garbage. It also was starring Mr. Fitts from Pretty Little Eyes.

What is the name of this? It's called Fall falling for Christmas.

That was last year's. This year's is Our Little Secret, and Our Little Secret.

Don't watch falling for Christmas. Don't worry about it.

But it was fun.

I enjoyed it.

It was fun. If you like shady Christmas movies. Yes. But save your time with Our Little Secret.

I do like how everyone's rooting for Lindsay Lohan, though.

She looks great.

She looks great. She's killing it. She seems like she's got her act together. I'm all about it.

Doesn't she with some guy that's human trafficker out of Greece? Doesn't she own a- I'm waiting for her. A good thing?

I wanted her to have a good life. I just wanted her to have a good life.

Is she with Angie Tate? Is that what's happening? Something like that.

She's just out there. I believe that she's with some gangster. We're all rooting for her.

I am definitely rooting for her. Yeah, sure. She abandoned the Mykonos Beach Club.

Yeah, she was in the Mykonos Beach Club. Yeah, she abandoned them. They needed her.

What's the Mykonos Beach Club?

She had a reality television show where she was ostensibly whitewashing her life living in Greece. Now, she's got a Mykonos Beach Club.

She had an accent for a while. That was interesting.

I think that that's just getting... I feel like more people truly need to ease up on gaining an accent while on vacation because you're just trying to ingratiate yourself with the locals. Lindsay Lohan, yeah, she's obviously not from Mykonos, but at the same time, when in Mykonos- You got to assimilate.

Now, Eddie, I know you also dislike shitty Christmas movies, but did you happen to check out the Dr. Seuss, The Grinch musical Live?

No, I would never.

That was wonderful. I dare say it might be worth it just because it's so- That is wonderful.

Like a Broadway?

It was on live television? Yes. But it's a special.

Yes.

I forgot about this, Jackie.

I actually would love it if you check because I think it's on Hulu that you can still watch on Hulu. Who's playing the Grinch?

Is that Tiltus Whitten?

No, it's, Oh, God, what's his fucking name from Glee? It is horrible.

Matthew Morrishon.

Matthew Morrishon.

The uncharismatic lead teacher man from Glee.

He tries to make the Grinch horny.

No, he's not horny. But it's Horny.

Very, very uncomfortable. The Grinch is specifically not horny. This is the thing. But he does all of this like a dancing movement like he's trying to be seductive evil.

Yeah, why is he being sexy?

I don't like the person. A person as the dog.

Yeah, and that's what she- You have to have a person as a dog, a person that dog can't sing.

I would like that. I'd rather have a dog on stage. Of course. Let it bark through. I mean, one of my favorite Christmas carols is the dog's barking, Jingle Bells.

Sounds like when the bitch on their shelf, yeah, man, goes caroling. Fuck, yeah.

No, you go caroling. It's like, All right, everybody, Jingle Bells, but king of dogs.

We're not.

Can I watch it?

Now, we're just going to say something here. I'm watching this musical playing. This is why musicals are dead and over. It's because of this moment of Grinch dancing with this dog on live television that they put a lot of money in. A lot of money. A lot of money. Went into making this a thing because this was live when it was done.

Do you think they beat him when this was over?

I hope they did. Have we heard of Matthew Morison ever since? No. He like a moron. This is the worst shit. This is the worst fucking garbage. Look at this. What is he even doing? What is this? He's just trapped back where he's being sexy. He's doing the same moves as Donna from Like a Virgin.

Just close your legs, you're the Grinch.

I don't want to see your Grinch taint. Yeah. My grinch. He's sexless.

He has no genitals.

Yeah, it's just all of it. He's really just a I'm going to say, not good in it. Thank you. But it is fun because it's not that long. If you're looking for something to have on in the background to just zone in on every couple of minutes being like, What the fuck is happening? Throw it on.

What's your worst Christmas movie, Eddie? Because you have a hard time. You are, of all the people I know, people who watch as many films as you do, you have a truly accepting nature.

Well, I'm always just impressed that they finished making a movie.

That's what I talk about with Natalie. Whenever we watch something that's extremely bad, the thing that we always remind ourselves as we're watching stuff, it's like, They made a movie. What are we doing? What are we doing right now? We're sitting watching something that they went and put the time and effort in to make. And yes, it was wasted time, wasted effort, wasted money, but they did it.

They have a project at the end.

They got it done.

I was drawn between two, and one of them is a series of films that I can't stand. But before we get into that, I'm going to say, spirited fucking sucks.

Spirited is if... The only way to really describe it is that it's so corporate. It's so utterly direct. It was really.

I love Sunita, and I wanted the best for her. Loves Sunita, love these whatever. I was so happy to see her, but that movie, fucking blow.

You know what it is, is that it's the problem. I've noticed this. I was talking about this with my mom recently of there's no... There They're having a hard time creating another Christmas classic film.

Well, the thing is, they used to come out once every three years, a Christmas movie when we were younger. Now, there's 10 a year, and we're supposed to like all of them, and the story never changes? I'm fucking sick of it. Spirited was dog shit. It was forced. It was rushed, it seemed like. The set design was sloppy. I haven't seen an Apple movie I like by the way.

Also, can I say this? Because we just saw the LA gay men's choir. It was fantastic. They sing their first... It was candy-focused this Christmas. The first half was from Willy Wanka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They sang those songs. Those songs were so fun, and they were so emotional and emotive and evocative. Then the second half, they decided to sing three songs from the new- Two songs. It felt like nine songs. It did. What is with modern musicals? If you get a chance to see the gay men's Chorus of Los Angeles, you should know. They're great.

It's unbelievable. Yes, they're amazing.

They do three big shows a year.

It's wonderful. But I was so surprised at We are better at ever than... We should be better at ever than anything and everything. But it's so funny when they're like, We can't write a good musical anymore. It feels like. It feels like that type of thing where you are... I wasn't into Hamilton. I'm not into Lin-Manuel, blah, blah, blah. I'm not into that guy. I'm not into that style of musical either. It's just weird to go see a musical that has no... I was like, There's three songs here where I couldn't tell you what the chorus was. Not to be anything. I can't tell. I'm feeling like an old man being here being like, Am I wrong that this song has no chorus or bridge? Make it catchier. It has nothing. I'm not walking away humming it. I have no idea what's going on. At the end of the fucking the original Willy Wanka movie, you know every song, even though you've only heard it once in the movie.

You're walking out singing the songs. Oh, man. Pure imagination is a gorgeous song.

Wonderful song. Gorgeous fucking song. It's like Wicked. Wicked is not for me, though. But you like Wicked. Did you see Wicked? You liked it.

I enjoyed it.

Very much enjoyed it. No one told us it was a part one.

Yes, It is very upsetting. That is rude. It's very, very- That is fucking rude. It's between that and also the amount of movies that pretend like they're not a musical, and then you go and see it and they're a musical.

I just saw Amelia Perez, and that happened to me. I didn't know. I saw the preview. I didn't know it was a musical. I went, and it was fucking awful. I left, and I went and saw Carrie.

Don't lie during the trailer. I feel like it's like, Don't bury the lead, bro. People want to know what they're going to go see.

Yeah, I couldn't handle it.

No, because no one would go because people hate musicals because they can't write good musicals anymore. They don't know what they're doing with them. I don't know why. Just hire pop singers to write the song.

This movie is going to win all the Oscars this year, apparently. I can't hate it more. I couldn't get through 30 minutes. This thing's a fucking musical. I I was in a theater of eight people, and six of them were laughing about how bad it was. Why don't they write it?

Even though I dislike them, I'm actually really confused as to why isn't Ed Sheeran, who is one of my least favorite artists of the world, but he could write a catchy-ass song. Why is he not writing all of the songs for a musical?

He just doomed us.

I'm just saying. He would write. But unfortunately, as much as I hate all of his songs, they're getting right in my head. I know half of his songs for some reason because I've heard him on the radio. Who's that guy?

Groben. What's he doing? Josh Groben. He's just a singer, though. He's not a writer.

Yeah, he has a new deck. Shit. Matthew Morse also, who's only in two other things since The Grinch. Oh.

Yes. So this is what I wanted to say is the thing about Christmas movies, and I don't hold these as Christmas movies because obviously there's a lot more going on, but I feel like they're jammed down my throat every Christmas, and I never like them. I can't like them. I've tried several times. Fuck these Harry Potter movies. Oh, of course. I am just sick of it. It's like, this is not a Christmas movie.

It's not a Christmas movie.

They bring it up for a little while in the middle of the movie, and then everyone's calling them Christmas movies. It's just because people buy stuff. They're just jammed down my throat. Every Christmas is Harry Potter, and he's a piece of shit. He offed himself.

Did you just ruin the end of Harry Potter? No, that is just one of those things that's all marketing.

It's just marketing. They I also push Lord of the Rings, which I'm down for because I like something that takes an entire day. But it's not a Christmas movie. You know what it is?

It's a time off from work movie. I feel like that I wonder if there are... Because to me, that's different. I feel like you settle in. I love a time off from work movie. That's when I sit and watch Napoleon. That's when I sit and watch something long and difficult.

But also the Harry Potter movies dropped. They were all released during Christmas time. I feel like a a lot of people created traditions around watching them. That makes a lot of sense. Then rewatching them before the next one would drop. I think that that is why it's more like a tradition that people created for themselves.

Also, you know what happened to me with Harry Potter? When the first movie came out, I'm working at a restaurant called Garfields. It's basically Fridays. It was in the Tallahassee Mall.

I remember Garfields.

Harry Potter, the first Harry Potter movie, came out in the mall. The movie theater was across the hall from Garfields in the on Black Friday. It was one of the worst days of my whole fucking life. Then we were at a two-hour wait, and so people started getting the idea to order to go.

Oh, Garfields closed.

Thank God. They were awful. But people got the idea to start ordering to-go food, and so the tickets just started coming in. Then people were just eating to-go food in the middle of the fucking mall and throwing it on the ground and shit. It was a fucking disaster. I think that's where my hatred for Potter comes from because of the trauma of that day. But I understand that. But I do like a butterbeer.

Sure. I like butterbeer with bourbon in it.

Oh, well, yeah. Well, you got to have to buy the bourbon separate. Then when the bartender is not looking, you pour it in there because they're not allowed to serve you a spiked butterbeer.

But it's much better that way.

Much better that way.

Much better that way. I actually am neutral on the Harry Potter thing just because I do know that… I don't I don't even think about them. I don't think about them during Christmas time. Now, I'm trying to reherald within my own life, Gremlin. Because for a long time, I left Gremlin alone.

It might be the best one.

It's so good. I left it just because I feel like as a child, I overwatched it. I watched it so many times, and so I hadn't seen it probably in a couple, literally a decade or so. It's so funny. Then I sat and watched it probably two or three weeks ago. I really think that it might be one of my favorite Christmas movies. I know that it's very stereotypical of me, but also- I mean, it's unbelievable. The movie itself is fantastic. The characters are amazing.

Well, that's the thing. How do you feel about movies that are technically Christmas movies? Because that's why when I was talking about the criteria earlier, that I've started peppering in Edward Scissorhands in my yearly watches. Oh, absolutely Christmas.

It's on my list right now.

Because it's such a good movie, but then is it still... I feel like some people are like, It's not Christmasy enough to be a Christmas movie.

If you're going to watch Harry Potter, then fucking Edward Scissorhands is way more Christmas. It's about snow.

This is the thing. It's on the list.

Like what's his put? Okay, good. It's on the list. Batman Returns also. Lethal Weapon. Fucking awesome. I love watching Lethal Weapon. But the one of them that I'm always go to that I just want to give a shout out to and I love, and I feel like the world shunned this movie and no one talks about it ever. Trapped in Paradise.

God, I love that movie.

I haven't thought of Trapped in Paradise in so long.

I showed it to Jeff I love Trapped in Paradise.

It is so funny. I got to re-see this. Dana Carvie is the kleptomani. I love this movie.

I love this movie. John Lovage. Everyone is killing it in this movie. It's such a good movie. Can I ask, though, upon rewatch, because you rewatch it closer to than I watch it, do they not deal the dynamic of the Home Alone Thiefs. No, they're not getting hurt.

No. They're not getting beat up on.

We just rewatch Home Alone and Home Alone 2. It is funny because Home Alone, you forget why. It's obviously a classic film. John I forget is the sneaker, the best part of the whole movie, weirdly. But then Home Alone 2, I remember loving it as a kid and then rewatching it as an adult just recently. I was like, Oh, the first 45 minutes of the movie is the exact same as Home Alone 1, except he goes to New York. Yeah, of course.

In the last 45 minutes as well.

I was trying to look up the length.

Yes, it does the fighting, but it's the same, though. It's the same. It's just the same plaques. It's just the same plaques, yeah. Trapped in Paradise- Same plaques.

Trapped in Paradise, I will say it is an hour and 51 minutes, and it does feel it. That's the thing is that it needed and that it will be forever. The let down is that it's longer than you remember. It's one of those, but it's the mid '90s. You know how I feel like it always added way more trying to have real moments. Emotion. We didn't need it. I literally just want to watch nick Cage, Dana Carvie, and John Lovitz be them. That's all I wanted.

The mom is so fucking funny. Great.

What is that woman's name? Because she is an amazing character actress.

You know what you're saying is so hilarious, too, because I was just looking this up for some reason. I wanted to see Dumb & Dumber was almost two hours long, and there was no reason for Dumb & Dumber. Even though Dumb & Dumber is fantastic, it's just the things that are bad and Now, dumb and dumber, all the genuine moment. Well, actually, I'm wrong about Dumb & Dumber because I do love the, I'm sick of being a fucking nobody. When he does that weird emotional monolog. It can still be done well. That thing was like, You remember that? He does that weird nowhere where he's just hyper emotional and real in the apartment before they go on the road trip.

But that's the thing. I feel like Dumb & Dumber is in that same place with Trapped in Paradise, in the same place as a my Blue Heaven. When I feel like- Dumb & Dumber is a It was a classic. But I'm saying we watched it because it was on TV all the time. I feel like I watched the first hour of Dumb & Dumber a hundred million times.

We would just catch 20 minutes of a movie back in the day because it was just randomly on TV. You'd see the middle movie three million times just because that's what happened.

Exactly. I always found it so sad that Dana Carver never really got his movie star ascension, that he never really got the project that took off of the... Like, really took off. He just had, besides Wayne's But, man, he really did.

But it's Wayne's world. He's gone. It is.

And Master of Disguise, you forgot.

Dirtle, turtle, turtle, turtle, come on, bitches.

Dirtle, turtle, turtle, bitches, It's right from your grave.

Speaking of trapped in Paradise, the Rep is very similar. You guys, when's the last time you all seen the Rep?

I haven't seen the Rep in a long time.

Yeah, it's around the same time period. Dennis Leary. It's got a lot of similar themes. Someone kidnaps a family on Christmas, and it's bad guys learning to be good through the love of Christmas.

The world really was captivated by Dennis Leary for a period of time. Then he just went. He was on that rescue me show for fucking 10 years. I have no idea how long that show was on.

They had a compound in New York. I auditioned for that show once, and they had a full floor of a giant building. Yeah, it was wild.

You know what movie always makes me think of you, Eddie, at Christmas time? That's the movie Mixed Nuts.

One of my favorites.

It always makes me think of you.

Suicide Hotline Christmas movie in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles. I think Madelyne Khan's last movie, I believe.

I just remember watching this just drunk in the middle of the day when we used to live together and you're just like, Mixed Nuts again.

Yeah, you guys rewatched Mixed Nuts a lot. I bought it. I love it. I know. You love that movie. That's one of those movies that I go in- Eighteen % on Rotten Tomat.

13.

Go fuck yourself.

I love you with all my heart, Abby, but if you rewatch it.

I watch it every year, almost.

All right, well, I'm glad you like it.

When's the last time you've seen it?

The last time I remember seeing a chunk I was just like, Oh, wow. Something doesn't age well.

It's upsetting. Oh, yeah.

It's about a suicide hop.

I'm impressed. Yeah, it's very upsetting. But also, I mean, Julie Hagerty. I love Julie Hagerty. She's the female lead in that movie. She's from Airplane.

Oh, yeah. She's wonderful. She's a great actor.

The cast is perfect. It's one of Adam Sandler's first movies.

Wow, that's actually very interesting.

Juliet Lewis. Yes. Rita Wilson.

Liam Neeson plays a trans person trying to to deal with Christmas. It's one of the first movies to deal with this subject.

I do think it's interesting. I think it's interesting. I think the subject matter is very interesting. I think it was during a weird period in Steve Martin's career.

It was. Yeah, he was making choices.

Which I appreciated about him because he always made... He made a bunch of weird choices back in the day before he started making all the movies with the... What was that thing where he had the 19 kids?

Cheaper by the dozen. Cheaper by the dozen where he fucking gave up a little bit.

You know what I just rewatched? What? I know this is a hard write, but it's pretty fucking great. Have you ever seen Rare Exports?

It's on my list.

Oh, yeah.

Rare Exports. I never actually saw it.

A lot of hanging dong.

You will really like Rare Exports.

I met the director. When they were promoting the movie, he came into Village Pourhouse. He came in and he's like, Do you mind if we put the poster up? I was like, Go for it, bud. Yeah, get a little up there. Because it was playing at the movie theater across the street. It is fun.

It is a wonderful movie.

89%?

Yeah. It's one of the better Christmas horror movies, I think. Hold on.

It has 76 more % than Mixed Nuts. Is that what we're trying to talk about here?

I guess so.

That is fucking bullshit.

I would say it is that much more of a better film.

No way. I will die on this hill because it is hard for me to get up the hill. I understand.

I'm already here, just let me die. It was just on the last drive-in with the Joe Bob Briggs. He just did a whole section on rare exports. It's fucking great.

I'll check that out this year.

It's truly, truly a- I might watch it tonight, actually. It's probably top five Christmas horrors, that Black Christmas, the OG.

God, Black Christmas is so good. Now, Terrifier 3 is taking the reins. Terrifier 3 is taking the reins.

Thank you, Terrifier 3. I want to say thank you again for taking up the cause of adding to the Christmas Horror movie lexicon. That is what you... We need this. We needed you. Also, I just thought you floored past Die Hard. Oh, my God.

Die Hard, too.

Our mother, our beloved mother, she was like, Oh, the best movie I've seen this year. You've got to see it. Red One. You got to see it.

She really wanted us to watch Red One.

We rented it and we put it on and literally- You rented it?

It's a Netflix movie.

I don't know what it was on. I just clicked on. I just wanted it.

Did you pay for a Netflix movie?

I legitimately just wanted my mom to be engaged with something. It does have a talking bear. I put it on, and as we're sitting and watching it, Natalie leans over to me and she's like, Is this what prison is like? Is to be forced to do this? Is this like watching television in a common room in a jail?

At least in this prison, you get a juiced up J. K. Simmons. I don't want to watch the movie, but at least J. K. Simmons has got abs and he's taken all kinds of human growth hormones to get that way.

Can I say this about J. K. Simmons? Dude, calm the fuck down, man. You don't need to be this ripped. It's bad for you at this age. It's extremely bad. You're going to die much earlier. He was old in us. You're going to die much earlier because of this. He's definitely juiced. That's not Maddie, dude.

No.

Look at his arms. That is not fucking natural. You need to watch yourself, buddy. It's not about you got to be careful. Your heart's going to fucking explode. But it was like, what happened?

I am proud of him.

What happened to Christmas action movies? I thought that was really funny. At the top of Scrooge, you forget. We try to watch it, we ended up we were like, Oh, we got to make dinner, and we shut off Red One very quickly, 25 minutes in. Then I was like, I sit and think, I was like, oh, Red One is literally what the beginning of Scrooge is making fun of.

Yes, exactly.

It's making fun of it. Now we're watching- They made that movie. Now it's real and it's bad. It's extremely bad. But then you think about Die Hard, which is a great example of this Awesome. Now it's obviously meme. Everyone's talking about it all the time in terms of being a Christmas movie. It's still an incredible film. It's just a great movie. It just happens to take place at Christmas, which is you want... I just want more of it. I want more of that. I think what was nice about Die Hard, about the Christmas thing is that it's not a Christmas film, but the Christmas part of it adds this emotional weight. Of course. That makes it so fucking that much more... That's much heavier for him.

Speaking of emotional weight, when was- I have been getting bigger. I'm glad it is an intervention.

I got a corset for it.

When was the last time you watched the movie, Prancer? I have been- I would say a decade ago. I haven't watched it since- It's pretty bad. I was a kid, but I remember specifically being traumatized by this movie.

I saw it in the theater, I remember.

Don't they just shoot a lady's prized rainier in the head or whatever?

Something, but I didn't know if I should go back and watch it. Is it magical? Yeah. Apparently, it's magical, but isn't it very sad?

I mean, there's lots of sad stuff.

Does a dancer get molested or something?

No, eaten. By the way, we had a rainier recently. Delicious. It's so good. I'm sure. It might be the best meat.

I'm sure.

I love an elk.

I ate some rainforest and it pranced out of me into shit.

I bet, man. Sometimes it goes down greasy, comes out greasier. But apparently, Chloris Leachman is in Prancer, and I love Chloris Leachman.

She People take work. I know.

Prancer is work. I know.

Sam Elliott's in it, too. I remember loving Prancer when I was a kid, crying, and then seeing it again 10 years ago, and I was just like, This is dog shit.

Yeah, he does get sold to a butcher. Yeah, he gets sold to a fucking butcher.

Sold to a butcher. That's why it's so traumatizing.

The living fuck.

Killed and sold to a butcher. That's the thing. How does that make this my favorite Christmas movie?

You know what I mean? What the living fuck of it? Oh, God.

Eight pagodas in it. I love the eight pagodas.

Understated masterpiece. I love the eight pagodas. It's a magical rainforest. How the living fuck is it held by the rules of man?

Yeah, chop it up and eat it. Chop it up and eat it for Christmas.

Honestly, it would have been cute if they fucking chopped it up, made it into a bunch of sausages, and then they ate it, and they all started floating. Oh, that would be cute. Then Santa comes and rigs up those fucking cannibals up to a fucking sled, and he makes them people pull the fucking sled.

Hell, yeah, dude.

I love this. Yeah, dude. Fucking, Reinders are free for the fucking weekend.

Can I rapid fire some movies at you to close out the show? Sure. Love this. All right, Santa Slay. Have you ever seen it with Goldberg where he plays Santa and just goes around killing people? No. Slaw? I've never seen Goldberg. It's really bad, but he just kills the fuck out of people. That's fun.

Actually, can you put that at the top of this, Rob? There's a disclaimer on the top of this video about Santa's Slay that I wanted to read here real quick that just said the term... What is it? Hi, I'm Scott, and I'm glad you like the Goldberg videos I upload to the legend as I've received recently diagnosed with cancer, which is why I may have the YouTube channel as a tribute to Goldberg to help cheer me up. I put most of my time uploading videos or applying to all you great amazing supporters. If you could spare any donations, it would be very much appreciated. Thank you. If not, no worries. I hope you enjoy the channel. I will continue to upload videos daily on road to recovery. Thanks, Scott. If you could spare any donations, it would be much appreciated. How many years ago is this? Two years ago.

All right, well, let's find out if he's alive.

No, I don't want to get this.

Yeah, I don't want to spoil it.

Yeah, I don't know what this guy does.

Oh, he still got the... I don't know. Me and my father have been diagnosed. I don't know, man.

No discrimination. What are you talking? What?

Just keep putting up those Goldberg videos, buddy. You never know what's going to come.

Yeah, I think that's great. All right. Crampus.

Yes. But I've already seen it. I like it, but it's not that great. It's not as good as I remember. It should be better.

But I like the practical puppet. I like that a lot of it outside of the Gingerbread Man, I like that it's practical, and that does keep me coming back to it.

I like seeing it in theater. I remember when we saw it in theaters, it was awesome.

I enjoyed it. Yeah.

Hot Frosty. Did you see it yet, Jackie? I did.

Was it good? Well, it really depends on how you feel about the whole idea of a baby child, adult, and if you want to fuck I get that. I guess that really… It's like big. Exactly. But it is a snowman turned into a human being. It's a snowman turned into a human being that Lacey Shabert tries to fuck because she just lost her husband and she's a widow.

I have to see this. It's like the hot guy from Shitz Creek.

From Shitz Creek. We should show this. We should watch this as a group.

It's a brand new movie.

I dare say- You called him the hot guy from Schitts Creek? He's just got- He's one of the- Oh, is that the guy with a beard? He's the veterinarian.

Yeah, but he's just got He's got way more shredded recently. Yes. He wasn't like that on Schitts Creek.

He was very attractive. If you're supposed to be hot frosty, I think you're supposed to look like that, unfortunately, for some people. But it's how you depend. I also really enjoyed poor things, but I know a lot of people were like, Baby lady, you fuck a baby lady.

It was a great movie. It's a great movie.

It's a great movie. It's a great movie. It's a great movie. That's why I enjoy Hot Frosty, but I understand that some people were very upset about it.

Why? Because he's a frosty? Because he's a baby man. Because he's an idiot.

He's a baby man.

No, he's a fucking snowman. If he was a fucking snowman, if he had- Also not a human, then. Listen, if he had down syndrome, it'd be different. That was my biggest issue. Because think about this. If he frost you, because how offensive would that have been? If a snowman turned into a down syndrome adult. I Mad would everybody be then? Then she tries to fuck them? Everybody be super angry.

Oh, don't be fun as a movie that's just a fleshlight that comes to life. It's just like, fill me up.

But then it still looks like that. Please ask me a question about myself, my wants, my It should remain a fleshlike then.

As someone that is a self-described monster fucker, I was upset because I didn't realize that the snowman turned into a human being. I thought she was going to fuck a snowman, and that's what I wanted to watch.

They're not ready, Jackie.

I want to watch it.

All right. Eastern Promises.

Very good. That's an Eastern Promises? Christmas movie?

It takes place during Christmas.

What? I mean, a naked fight on Christmas is what I hear for.

I should watch this on Christmas.

Eastern Promises has a bunch of Christmas. Why did I rewatch this? Yeah, I fucking love Eastern Promises.

I only remember the naked fight. That's all I remember about it.

I mean, the whole movie is great. It starts off with a brutal murder. I love Nico Mortensen. All right, we're moving. Family Stone. I know you love it, Jackie. Might be my favorite. I do. I love it.

It's so fucking sad.

That's why I like it. I know. I'm just not into sad. I don't like sad. I don't like to feel sad. I'm already sad.

All right, people go both ways on this movie Love, Actually.

You know, I think I understand I hate it more than anything else. I think I have decided that I finally, officially, truly, very much hate Love, Actually. I just found out, Kiera Knightley, 17 in the movie. In real life, she's 17.

I did not know that.

She did not want to do the cue card scene. She thought that it was very uncomfortable, and she's a 17-year-old, and so apparently, they had to shoot it multiple times because she was so visibly upset while she was doing it. She couldn't act her way through it.

Wow. Unfortunately, though, Sometimes. I mean, I guess that's what happens. But she was a child?

17, and she's supposed to be married in it. It's just all- It is weird. Old days. Then, of course, everybody gets upset with the showboy girl.

I like to watch Liam Mason cry.

Of course. Also, Emma Thompson cry. I love to watch anybody be sad on Christmas.

I want to go to his house and make him cry.

I'm sure he's crying on Christmas.

I'm sure he- Who's he banging now?

He's banging Pamela Anderson.

Yeah, dude.

No make up Pamela Anderson. You You know that? You know that?

Yeah, dude. He is riding that fucking cheese all that down, dude.

Because they're making Naked Gun remake together. Oh, my God.

Madly in love with Pamela Anderson. Yes, God, that's a happy ending. Oh, I love this. Isn't it great?

Isn't that the best connection?

Yes, it is. It just shows you that anything's possible as long as you're almost seven feet tall, rich, famous movie star. Got a great brogue. That's all you need to do is be Irish, handsome, rich.

That's all you need to do. Holdovers. Wonderful film.

Really enjoyed it. I like that movie.

Holdovers was really good. I got to say, we forgot one perfect Christmas film. I feel like it's a good one to close out with. It's a little film called How to Ruin the Holidays. Apparently, How to Ruin the Holidays is- A new Christmas classic. Is to watch the film is the best way to ruin the holidays.

He's roasting my work.

Oh, I know. I love you, Henry, but I haven't also watched it yet.

You both are ignorant of my work.

Haven't watched it yet. I went to the theater. I saw it. I went, I booed. It was great. Thank you.

But I did feel that it was a pretty good film. It was a pretty good film. It was fine.

You're like Robert De Niro in Cape Fear.

That's my friend.

Yeah, well, that was the last movie I was in.

There we go.

Hope you guys go rent that, huh? You just go rent How to Ruin the Hall of Go for it. Because that'll really help the dividends. Not for me. I don't make any money off of it, but it would be- But Colin Mockery needs it.

Come on, guys.

I don't think he makes money off.

But I liked seeing him in a big role.

He's great, too. Also, he's extremely nice. He's a great guy.

You're the bad boy neighbor. You're the M. M. At Walsh of Christmas with the Cranks. I am.

Yeah, I'm the mean neighbor. I'm the mean neighbor. That's why they hired me. Sometimes just being yourself.

It goes a long way. It really does.

Then did you have to shoot across Just in a different house because you had COVID?

No, I found out I had COVID on set. This was in 2021, the first time I had had COVID. I did not know that I was sick. I took a rapid test and the big test, remember? Oh, yeah. Then I tested negative on the rapid test. I shot a day, but then I started not feeling very good. Then it wasn't until the next day that it turned out I tested positive for COVID, but I didn't give it to anybody else because I was wearing those dog combs.

I gave it to a lot of people. When I did the L-word, I didn't realize I had COVID, and I just wasn't feeling good but wasn't testing positive. They tested me twice on set, and I wasn't testing positive. Then it turns out, I found out later on, gave a bunch of people.

Well, I'm sorry. At least you gave them something for Christmas. Yeah, come on.

A lot of people don't do anything.

Come on.

Thank you so much. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. We love you guys. Thank you for listening to this show. I hope you're a great time. When you're at home with your family, remember, you don't have to be nice all the time.

You really don't. Honestly, sometimes those fuckers got to go do their own thing. You let them go do their own thing, but you're not responsible for everybody's activities during the holiday.

Yes. Amen. It's going to be over soon. Take some personal time and remember to take a walk, smoke some weed. Yeah.

Take a drink in the garage. Love the guns. Clean your guns. Go and clean your guns.

If you're looking for any last minute Christmas gifts, and you live in the Atlanta area. Last podcast on the left is going to be doing a show with Coca-Cola Roxy on January 11th. Please come and check that out. We got shows in Dallas, Toronto, Detroit, and Nashville next year. We're going to book some more soon. But more importantly, watch Good Pud. My favorite show on the network. Thank you so much. It really is. Yeah, I like that new show. It is so good. It's unbelievable. Spend time watching Good Pud. Really freak out the squares with this show. It's a wonderful thing. Hell, yeah.

Good work, Eddie.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays, everybody. Love you all. Don't let the New Year hit you in the ass, huh? Yeah, man.

Jerk off.

Yep. Take mommy out of the room. All right? Give me a Patreon. Last minute's the last time. Come on. Hails to. Jerk off.

Don't forget.