Transcript of Winston Churchill Keep Calm & Cackle on

Eggs, bacon, baked beans, I think a big beefsteak, tomato, and a bowl of fruit. He would eat that every morning, and he would only wake up at 11:00 in the afternoon. He only started his day late.

I don't know how he had any appetite with all that anxiety going on. You're getting bombed every night. You're worried that the Nazis are going to take over your island. You don't got the Americans in yet. You're feeling the disadvantage. How the hell was he able to get anything down?

The thing is, because I think that some people, the way that they react to anxiety and stress is to not get smaller, they get bigger. Winston Churchill got bigger, emotionally and physically. I mean, the kid was fat. If Humpty Dumpty was a movie right now, it would be played by Winston Churchill.

Yeah, and he was a wild kid with his outfits. The guy liked to wear a onesie. Yeah. He liked to walk around in a onesie like a baby.

I liked it. Well, because he looks like a baby, so he said, Let me just act like a baby. Yeah, he wore a once. Now, here's the thing with Winston Churchill. A lot of people know Winston Churchill. You know him as the Prime Minister of England, which, by the way, I was watching documentaries about him this weekend with members of my family. Would you say the The average American person knows that Britain, Great Britain and England have a Prime Minister and not... Do you think that they know what that means?

I don't think the average American knows that England and Britain are the same country. Got it. I think they think England is one country and Great Britain is another. It's another country. Right, I think so.

Well, because you know, but Great Britain is actually England, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. Right.

It used to be all Ireland until they were like, Fucking get out. Get the fuck out.

Because they were Because when I was watching my family, they were like, Oh. Because they were saying, they call Downing Street, 10 Downing Street is like their White House. And then the Prime Minister... Because when I was watching it with my family member, they were like, What is it so special about being the Prime Minister. I was like, They're like the President of England, and they didn't know that. And I was a little shocked that they didn't know that. But maybe we're just history-loving.

No, there's a lot of countries that call them Prime Minister. You're dealing with people who aren't I'm asking a lot of questions. Yeah, because Germany has got a Prime Minister.

No, Angela Merkel is a Prime Minister. I thought she was a Chancellor. Oh, she's a Chancellor.

You're right.

Isn't it, Chancellor?

Look at me calling people stupid when I'm stupid.

Because if you don't take your anxiety down, I'm going to fucking give you a smack. I'm going to hit you with a banana. Do you want to take a nibble of the vegan banana bread? Because it's vegan, it's healthy.

No, I don't. Here's the thing. Some guy said to Winston Churchill, I'm 100% healthy I eat vegan or whatever. He said, I'm 200% healthy because I fucking drink coffee and I smoke cigars.

And I smoke cigars. Right. The field marshal of D-Day said that, that general, he was known as a dick, because Are you talking about Eisenhower? Do you know what's a fun fact about Winston Churchill? Well, Eisenhower represented the American side, but then there was the guy who led the British.

The kid used to like to walk around naked, and sometimes he would take baths and have his secretary recite what he wanted her to recite, and he was naked in the bath.

A Him and his whole family stayed with Franklin Delano Roosevelt to the White House for a month, and FDR saw the kids peace multiple times because he would just dictate to him in the bathtub. Here's another fun fact. Here's one thing I wanted to... Why I'm fascinated with Winston Churchill is we'll get to all his Galipoli and all the things that he did and what you know him for. But you know what a lot of people don't know about Winston Churchill? Why? You know where his freaking mother was born?

His mother was born? You know where his mother was born? She was an American kid.

Yeah, but you know where she was born?

Brooklyn. She's a Brooklyn a kid.

Winston Churchill's mother is from Brooklyn. He wasn't even raised in Brooklyn in the 1800s. Here's one thing, it's the same thing with the Jews. If you're born out of an American vagina, then you're an American.

Right.

Winston Churchill, you can't be born out of an American vagina and not get a little red, white, and blue goo on your head.

That's the same rule as the Jews.It's the same Jew rule.That's why Jesse isJew.Jesse.

Is a Jew.

He tries to be Italian, but he's a fucking Jew.

Jesse's Jewish, and That's why Patty Clips, who also helps run the studio, is Lebenese, why Patty came in here with a mask on. That's what it was. That's what happened. It's not Pat's fault. Pat's just from the Middle East, and it's a trigger thing, even though he loves Jesse, as we all do. But because he was born out of the Jewish womb, then Pat has a sensation about him because he's Middle Eastern, where he just puts a mask on. That's just how- It's unfortunate, and I don't think it's right.

No, we're not saying it's right. We're just saying it's a fact of life. It's something that happens. It's a truth, Bader Gainsberg, that people from the Middle East have a tough time eating around Jews.

They do, and it's unfortunate.

I think Jews have a tough time eating around Arabs. Yes. It's what it is. You got a tough... Yeah.

I'm obviously just kidding.

Just joking. But-lad of 14.

Lad of 14. But it is one of those things where Winston Churchill's mother was an aristocrat, a high society lady from Brooklyn, United States, and then she married Winston Churchill's father, like an arranged marriage, who was a Lord in-Rudolf. Randolph Churchill.

Was his mother the Duchess of She might have been. She might have been the Duchess of Bay Ridge.

Vincent Churchill's father and his mother were sitting there somewhere in Brooklyn, and he's trying to talk to her, and she goes, We're not going to be friends. No, we're not going to be. You know we're not going to be friends.

You know where this is heading.

How hot is Margaret Well, Robbie in that movie.

She was so hot. It's insane. I wanted to slurp her poop.

I would.

I would slurp her poop.

I would slurp her poop.

Some girls, you just got slurping poop.

Now, Vincent Churchill, the kid is born. Here's the thing. It wasn't like the kid in the beginning of his career made a lot of mistakes. Make no mistake, the British people hated him. They hated him in the beginning because the big one was Gallipoli. Do you know about Galipoli?

Yes, yes, yes.

In World War I, Gallipoli-He made a big booboo. Made a big mistake against your mortal enemy, the? Germans.

Turks. The Turks.

No, because you don't. Germans are your friends.

Germans are friends. They're friendly. Just come over here. Oh, yeah. He made a big mistake. He planned out the whole thing, and it went south.

It went south. Thousands of mostly Australian and New Zealand soldiers who at that time in 1914 were part of... They were still part of the British Empire. People hated Winston Churchill because they blamed Gallipoli on him. I mean, it was a disaster.

It was a disaster. But he says it's because it was a committee of people, many generals making decisions. He said, From this point on, I'm going to do things my way. If I get the chance again, we're not going to have a lot of chefs in the kitchen. I'm going to do this like Adolf Hitler. I'm going to call the shots myself. Exactly. Yeah, because he blamed it on everybody else. That could have just been him being a dick.

It could have been him being a dick. Here's the thing about Winsor Church.

The kid did not like Indians.

Unfortunately- He let a lot of them die. Unfortunately, he did because he had people... Here's the thing, folks, if you want to get mad at people in history, and I'm just going to be crystal clear with you right now, if you want to get mad at people in history, you have every right to mad at people in history. But make no mistake, you were not in the situation. You were never given the immense stress and power that some of these people in history had to endure. So your biggest decision sometimes in life is, what am I going to have for breakfast? Where Winston Churchill has to say, because you can very easily say, Winston Churchill was a piece of shit. He let the famine in India rage on when he could have sent them rice and food to help them. But he also had to send rice and food to his starving army who was fighting the Nazis who were on crystal meth and advancing in World War II through their Blitz Creek like crazy. So yes, he unfortunately had to let some Indian people die, and that really does suck. But he also had to feed his army because if he didn't feed the army and the Nazis would have taken over Europe, then guess what?

We'd all be speaking German right now.

You can't blame a British guy for being a British guy. I mean, he might have gotten off the plane and gotten to India and just went, P-U. That could have just been his first impression of the country and go, This place just doesn't smell great. So I'm just going to care about it less because I'm a British snob.

I'm a British snob. You know what, folks? If you go back and listen to some of our episodes, we've told you that good people do bad things, bad people do good things. This is a truth, Bader Gainsberg. We're about to hit you with right now. Go back to listen to one of the old Historiology episodes. But Winston Churchill probably had good reason to not like Gandhi because Gandhi, I know you think he was a good guy. He liked to bang out. And it's S-L-O-K-S.

Yes, his cousin's, too. I think she was 13.

Yeah, so here's the thing, folks.

He was testing himself. Babe, he I was going, All right, I want to let's sleep naked with her and see if I could do it. But you know what he did. You know he pushed his wood up against him.

He pushed his wood up. He put his woodrow wheels, banged her out. And it's unfortunate, and I know that people want to hate on Winston Churchill on TikTok, but the truth is, folks, you've never been put in a position like he's been put in a position, and he pretty much mostly rose to the cage.

He rose to the cage. He was just the guy that history says, stood up to Hitler and said, I got a woo, FDR. By the way, talk about a kid who's got eyes that are close together. Fdr. Every time you're going to pick an FDR, he's got a monicle. I mean, that kid's eyes were close together, his legs didn't work.

Because do you think he can get polio?

I might get polio. But he was like, I'm going to woo this guy into the war because we need this guy because we're just going to get overrun by the Nazis because the Nazis were a goddamn machine.

They were a machine.

They were storming everybody. He just took the fight, kept protecting the island. They started bombing citizens. It got ugly, but he just I'm going to have to wrap, write love letters to FDR going, Babe, this is your fight, too. This is your fight, too, babe.

Because here's the thing.

We got to bring these two forces together just like we did with the hyenas.

Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's what it is. Folks, here's the thing. World War I happens. Here's the truth. A lot of people say, why don't more people talk about World War I? Because it was fucking boring. Okay? Because nobody really did anything. I know a lot of people done.

Nobody was charisma. Nobody like an Adolf.

But World War II, why it's interesting why Winston Churchill becomes Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler and Stalin, FDRs, because you had big personalities because, like you said, charisma, you had a lot of fun things happening.

World War I was just not so fun. Yeah, it depends what side you're on. It depends what side you're on. It was so much fun. Yeah. I mean, there was stuff that was going on that wasn't so fun if you had a frisby on your head.

If we're just talking about... I'm not saying- Just talk about the German perspective for the first couple of years.

That's what I'm saying. That's what you're saying.

If we're just talking about, and I'm not talking about good or bad, I'm talking about just endorphins going up, people having fun. I mean, who was having more fun than the... They were just field goal kicking everybody, taking countries. I mean, they took Poland like I fucking took a vegan banana, give it to me.

They just took it. They took France. They just walked into France.

The resident doctor of this show, our good friend Dr. Luki, who's a Polish kid born and raised in Warsaw. His face... Generations of kids have just been born with... The kid just always looks surprised. His face just always looks surprised because he's just like, Are those Germans coming to take my country?

Yeah, he looks like a black and white photo.

He does look like a black and white photo.

He looks like he should be in like Auschwitz-Strauss. Yeah, he just has that look. He has that look. He's got an ancient European, no new genes to my village look.

Yeah, and that's why I was very... When we first met, when we were friends at 18, I think because I still have the German DNA and he has the Polish DNA.

You tried to put him in I was looking at him, I was like, I remember in my head, I was like, How can I put this guy in a can? Just kidding. He said, What are we having today after the game, Chris? We have pizza. He said, No, we're having you. Yeah.

I want to have Lukasz Schnitzel.

Yeah, it's a Schnitzel from your Kosh.

No, but so World War I, Gallipoli, that's the big thing with Winston Churchill in World War I. He gets blamed for Gallipoli. They oust him out of politics. Then what happens is, because the thing is, because World War II didn't really happen that long after World War I. If you think it was that long, it really wasn't because it was-It wasn't that long.

The Germans got right back to work.

Right back to work because they rebuilt quick and they were like, Look, we lost in the Championship game last year, but we rebuilt.

We got a new GM, and we liked this guy. We're going right back in for a ring. Yeah, they liked it. They went just like the next season, they went for it.

Yeah, they just went for it, and they just kept winning. What happened was is Winston Churchill was the only person in Parliament at that time saying, We have to stop Hitler now, because Neville Chamberlain, who was the Prime Minister of England at the time, actually made a peace deal with Hitler. He was like, You know what? He met him and said, Let's just shake hands on peace. And Churchill was like, No, we have to go to war with him. We have to stop him right now. And they were like, they kept telling him to shut up. He was telling the British public, We have to stop Hitler. He's a madman. He knew this in the mid-1930s. And then they just start blitzkrieging, taking every country. Then once they took Poland, that was the buffer country between Eastern Europe and Western Europe. Then they were like, Oh, shit. Then the people called for Neville Chamberlain's head. They were like, he's got to get out. Within 10 minutes- I think they actually called them.

They did. They were like, this guy, we need a guy with some balls in there. Yes. That's why they were... I don't think without Neville Chamberlain being such a F word, I don't think they go for Churchill.

Because you might as well just say, you said it twice, right?

Yes. Yes. Because they knew that Churchill was a military bulldog, and they knew that he was a Hawk against Hitler. They're going, oh, look what happened. He went and made the peace deal and said he wasn't going to take Poland. Then he went back on and he took Poland. We can't trust this little crazy guy with a half mustache.

This little crazy guy with a halfy. What happens is the big turning point, too, is what Churchill really gets famous for is he becomes Prime Minister and then Dunkirk. The Battle of Dunkirk, which you guys have seen that movie with Tom Hardy. If you guys ever want to just move your monkey a little bit to a movie down in your basement with the lights off when your father's not home, throw on Dunkirk and just listen to Tom Hardy's voice. It's like ASM off. He's great. Yeah, the whole time in a mask, and he's in a mask and he's just... Tom Hardy, that's my hall pass.

Tom Hardy?

Tom Hardy. I know Jasmine when we talk, who's your hall pass? You know Jasmine. Tom Hardy. Jasmine said Mark Wallberg, and I said Tom Hardy, and she said, Excuse me? I thought, I was like, Tom Hardy. I mean, I meant Jessica.

Would you top him? I mean, you're a big guy, or would you get top by Tom Hardy?

Tom Hardy? I would probably say for him, I would...

With Tom Hardy, I know you got a gay mind and you're open to it, but you just don't got the type of body that could receive gay sex. You're just going to have big white milky legs in the air. It's just not for you.

The thing is, to be honest with you, I wouldn't even want to have sex with Tom Hardy. I would just want to have him look out a window and me hold him from the back. That's That's all I'm looking to do with Tom Hardy. Just hold him and just smell his hair. You just want love from guys. That's all I want to do. I'm not looking to do anything gay. I really just want love. I just want to hold. There's times when you and I have been walking around. I said, Maybe I should grab Yonny's hand right now.

You just want romance.

I just want it is. But I'm not looking for anything sexual. Because that's it. If we're in a long trip, like when we fly, we got to go fly to Texas this weekend. If I get a little tired, you might just wake up and my head's in your lap.

It's just my head.

This is what it is. Or my head's on your shoulder. I mean, because make no mistake because this episode... Well, this episode is coming out Thursday. Make no mistake, folks. We're on Joe Rogan right now. Right now, we're on Joe.

We're on Joe Rogan right now.Right now, we're on Joe.We're on Joe Rogan right now as well.It's probably a fucking snoozer. Now, those two guys loved each other very much, too. Who?

Winston Churchill?

Winston Churchill and FDR. They started developing a nice relationship where they really loved each other. I think the kid, Winston Churchill, wrote him like a thousand letters.

Well, Winston Churchill- He was a suitor. He was the suitor. Winston Churchill was... Winston Churchill definitely wrote- He was going like, Come on, nuke the jobs.

Get it. Help us. Come in.

We need your help. Well, Winston Churchill wrote many more letters to FDR than FDR wrote to Churchill because he knew that he was being pursued. But the thing is, is Dunkirk, Winston Churchill gets famous because he was the one that said... Because they had 450,000 troops in Dunkirk, and the Germans were closing in. They would have lost a whole army and that war would have been over. But he said, Get small boats, get the British people to help us. And they got like 380,000 soldiers back off the shores from Dunkirk across the English channel. And then the Battle of Britain happens where Churchill says, We're going to have to fight them in the air. And so many British pilots died, but they beat the Germans back enough. They scared the Germans back. Their first hit back because nobody had stopped the Germans at all. They were like, Hitler was like, Oh, we can't bomb. We can't just go in and bomb England and London. We can't do it during the day. That's when they started coming at night, when they started blitzing London and bombing London for 56 days in row, they dropped bombs on these kids.

Here's the thing. When I watch a documentary, when you go look at the London Blitz, when they're bombing these people for 56 days, they're in bomb shelters. Of course, the first few days, the British people are staying underground and school is closed and the stores are closed. But then, guys, they just start to live their life. You get used to it. You get used to it. So the thing is the people today, sometimes when we complain and bitch about this and that, it's like, imagine your city was getting bombed every day for 56 days, but then you just went to school or you just went to the market. They had a party. If there was a podcast, it would have been doing the podcast. Then at night, you just go into the bomb shelter. Everyone just lived underground. Just accept that what you're doing, living right now, a lot of it, a lot of the pain you're in, it's in your head because not you, just people. It's in your fucking head. Actually, you do. It's in your head.

I think that's our perception of it, but I think if you would have asked those guys at the time, they would have went, This fucking sucks. Yeah, this is great.

But they accepted it, and a big part of that was Winston Churchill saying, We're going to fight them in the streets. We're going to fight them in the hills. We're never, ever, ever surrender. He would go down himself. Two things he did. One, he would go down to the bomb shoulders and show the people, Fat Man scoop is here. I got this cigar. I'm here. I'm walking around my onesie. Then the second thing he would do is during these bombs, when they would just drop anywhere from the night sky, he would stand on his roof and smoke a cigar and let the people know that he's on the roof. I want you guys to be safe, but I'm on the fucking... The Hitlers in Germany, no, I'm on the roof, baby.

Supposedly, even when he left a political post and went back into battle, Remember that part where he goes back in the battle, joins a regiment? He was a guy that not shy away from danger. He had a deep belief that he had a destiny. He always felt like he was destined to be Prime Minister. It didn't look like it was going to go that way because he got very unpopular. Then after what happened when he had that big tragedy, he had to resign. Galipoli. Galipoli. Then he went and he became like a military guy. He was an infantry. He went on the front lines. I think it was in Africa or something, right?

He's a guy who like a something. And he fought, He legit fought. So that's why sometimes when you hear about these stories about Alexander the Great or these other Roman generals, whatever, who led the front lines, you're like, I don't know if I believe that. But a guy like Winston Churchill. So we actually have video evidence, Teddy Roosevelt, video evidence of it or we know that it happened. The one thing about Winston Churchill is he was not a puss. He was not a pussy. He was not a pussy. He would throw a swing, and he was begging FDR to get into the war because he knew if the Americans don't join, we're done. He needed the Americans because we were like steroids. We were windstroll. The only way you're going to ever beat Adolf is you need to get juiced up a little bit. You need to send the American juice.

The Americans were going, Listen, we just got in a war over there. This is their problem. We're not going back over there. Can't these Whites just figure it out? They're always fighting with each other. We're not going back over there. We're isolationists. We got things over here that we want to care about. Then, Destiny intervened in the name of the Japanese, and they woke up. The Boys.

Yeah, they made a big, big mistake. Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman, Boys. Huge mistake.

Huge. Big, big mistake.

Wait, but I wanted to ask you this because we've known, we've covered on this show. If you go watch our, if you haven't, if you're new here, go watch our episode of Pearl Harbor, one of the classic history of episodes. We talk all about Pearl Harbor, but we have spoken about how the Japanese got involved and they bombed Pearl Harbor because they wanted to fuel their own war machine. They needed oil, whatever. But It's a little coincidental that Churchill is begging for the US to get in the war, and then all of a sudden, the Japanese bomb the US and get us into the war. Do you think Churchill, and we haven't found evidence yet, but do you think the kid did? He had a little sushi day. You think he sat down on the floor, he went to Emperor Hirishido's Palace, took off his shoes, sat on the floor, got a little sush, and said, Let me make you a proposal.I.

Think what could happen.Is it possible? It's very possible. Something like that The British intelligence there were doing a lot. They had double agents in the German army. Maybe they had something cooking in the Japanese military. They could have. What they did is maybe they sent out a false Morse code or they said, Oh, we broke the Americans code, they're about to attack from Pearl Harbor and then convinced them to preemptively attack because he wanted to get him in the war. That's very possible. That's secret, and maybe we'll never know it because it is a coincidence.

It's too much of a coinkydink that all of a sudden, this country who was swearing they were going to be isolationists gets bombed out of nowhere.

It also could be FDR because FDR always agreed with Churchill. He just couldn't convince the people. The people. He needed something. He needed some big thing to happen that galvanized them. And so maybe he just said he called the Japanese and said, Hey, we're going to give you a free shot to the face. Yeah.

It's like power slap.

Hit me.

Just in true American fashion, what happens is the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor, the Americans get into the war. Winston Churchill says, Now we need to go kill the Germans, right? And he goes, No, we're just going to go to Africa and kill them. The first thing they do is they just went to North Africa, and they're like, We're just going to kill a bunch of North Africans, and then we're just going to fight Germany there. Because Americans, we just want to always just take over Africa. I don't know why. It's just an American thing.

Well, it was an easier front to it. That's what they said. That's what they said.

The kids were just like, Oh, let's go.

Here's another opportunity.

Yeah, let's get more Africans. It's messed up. But so they go to North Africa.

I'm not sure if that's true, but it's possible.

It's, Hey, this, Ryan, is as we told you, we are the ChatGPT slots. You come here for fun and a little fact. You come here for more fun than fact. It's definitely more of a fun ride. If you want to go more fact than fun, then you go to our avoid Dan Carlin.

Yeah, it's definitely more of a fun ride. We're basically taking a sports car around the block, but you ain't really going anywhere. Yeah, but we're having fun. Yeah, we're having a good time.

You take what's fun. What I want the people to do is, of course, go to patreon. Com/historyienes, where we go and we have the most fun there is go on Patreon and see if... Take a shot if every time that we say something that is historically inaccurate, go do the research yourself and then write on Patreon, what did the boys get wrong? Because what's beautiful about Patreon is what's happening now. We're only six episodes in. The community there, if you go on that Bay Ridge Boys chat, I mean, these people are... It's happening again. They're hilarious, the funniest fans ever. Then they're going on dates with each other. They're talking about what we got right, what we got wrong. Patreon. Com/historyianas. We do a bonus episode up there. Anything we've cackled out here, we put on there. But then we also talk about some facts, even more facts that are actually historically accurate on the page.

Right. Right now, here's a good opportunity to let you know we got our RSS feedback on Apple, which was a big struggle, but we got it. We got all our old subscribers back. So please go there, get it active, write a review, rate it five stars, go hit the Apple app.

Yeah, go hit it up, and we appreciate that. The Japanese get involved, and now the United States military, because here's the truth, folks, is what it is. You could talk shit about the United States all you want. Number one, despite what you read in the news, we are still the number one country, the number one superpower. Buy a lot, folks. Buy a lot. China is not even close. North Korea is not close. Nobody's really close.

We're so powerful, we put drones on ourselves.

Yeah, we got drones on ourselves. They're looking over New Jersey.

They're looking at just something in New Jersey. I think they're looking for...

What are they looking for? Unfortunately, the rumor that's looking like it's more and more true is that somebody got a nuke from Ukraine, and they got it into the Eastern waters of the United States. Apparently, those drones are looking for a nuke.

That's scary.

You know what? It's scary if you are not around your family. But for me, it's like, if you're going to nuke us, at least that's the way to go because then we'll all just go together. No problem because we're in the blast zone. You have fun. But you might be okay because make no mistake because you live in Maine.

I don't Yeah. No, I'm just kidding. We can't have anyone hurt by this thing. That's a rumor. That's an ex-rumor. I don't think that's what they're doing.

But in the front page of the New York Post this morning, Joe Rogan even said it's true. So we're going to ask him to his face on Thursday. Joe Rogan is saying that this is true.

Well, here's the deal. It makes a lot of sense because what else are they doing? You know they're American planes because they got FAA lights going on.

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Yeah, I like him. Yeah.

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Yeah, Tirel. I think he's from Atlanta.

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Yeah, Joe wrote, Infrared alert, Homeland Security Security FBI finally ramping up efforts to probe mystery drones tormenting New Jersey and New York. Okay, so now it's getting breaking news that now the FBI is involved. Okay, so let's see. Federal authorities have finally stepped up efforts to investigate mysterious drone sightings that have been spotted nightly over a growing swath off the Eastern Seaboard for nearly a month. Okay. I think they're called nuke snippers. Nuke snippers, yeah. They're looking for fumes. Yeah. Joe Dogen, genuinely concerned about drone sightings after new theory emerges. It's, folks, it's what it is. I mean, there's really nothing we can do if there's a nuke off the East Coast.

What else could they possibly be doing?

The only thing that I advise you guys to do is if you really want to be safe and you want to guarantee that you get into the right part of heaven, if a nuke gets off, every second of the day, you need to be draped in the American flag. The only way. When Jesus sees you coming to the gates, no matter what you've done, he's going to see that American flag. He's going to say, God, dad, that's one of my guys. Get him Yeah. He's looking at you because why do you think... We've talked about this before. Why do you think that our country is protected by the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean?

Because Jesus Christ. That's Jesus Christ. Now, here's the deal. If a nuke goes off, I want to be in the blast zone. I don't want to be on the expert. I don't want to live with half my face milk at all.

For a year, you slowly die of cancer. It's like, just make me into dust right now. I want to be slime.

Yeah, I want to be in the blast zone. Hopefully this doesn't happen. Things are heating up.

There's a lot to be anxious about. There's a lot to I'm being anxious about, but that's why you're safe here. I'm saying it to the fans. I'm saying it to you. You are safe here, guys.

I have the utmost respect and the utmost trust in the military that they are going to find whatever. That way, song Russia.

That's what it is. It's.

I don't know. It's 514. Yeah. Or Russian or North Korean.

The theory is that it snuck out with the chaos of the Ukraine-Russia war, that it snuck out through the Ukraine, and somehow it got over here. Because make no mistake, if you go this new movie, Carry On, on Netflix, you just realized that the TSA is Franks and Beads.

Yeah, and you can also carry a nuke in a suitcase now, right?

See, the issue is with nuclear warfare, and Oppenheimer was saying this, we said, Oh, now we're releasing God or whatever. I forgot whatever his famous quote is. But he said the nuclear bombs right now, he wasn't worried about in his lifetime because they had to be as big as rocket ships. He said, If technology advances and they can make them small, then you have an issue because the nuke that's in somebody's briefcase right now is 20 times stronger than Hiroshima.

What do we got to do to fix this world? You got to just keep where it's too late.

You got to just... I just want to get this message out to the world. What do you have to do?

Radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance.

Be friendly with your present and go gently with your day. That's it. Can you hear me, leaders of the world? Yeah.

Go gently. Go gently. Radical acceptance. Stay friendly with your present. Be where your feet are. The only thing you have to do is the thing that you did on November 6 is you picked right. You did save the world. You saved the world. Unfortunately, because if it was the other way, it'd be bad.

Because if a world war starts now, I mean, Donny T may be the guy. Will he be the new Winston Churchill or he more Neville Chamberlain. What will happen?

I'm going to say, Donald Trump will be... Here's the similarities between Winston Churchill and Donald Trump. What happens is, is obviously, this episode is not about World War II. You know what happens in World War II. United States, we beat the Nazis back, we beat the Japanese, we dropped the bombs. Everyone's triumphant. V-day. Winston Churchill was famous for this sign because he was saying victory. V-day, where the Germans surrender, Britain wins, whatever. But because of all that war, even though the people loved him, they said And he did not get reelected as Prime Minister just a year later because the people figured we needed that mindset to win. We love you, Winston Churchill, but now we need another type. But we need the exact opposite of you to rebuild and have this- Smart move, too. Smart But what happens, though, is they do that for four years, and then they reelect Winston Churchill. Yet again, Winston Churchill becomes a Prime Minister twice. So they elect him, then they make a mistake, they don't elect him, then they reelect him back like Donald Trump. So these similar It was similar. To Donny T, where we said, We made a mistake.

Right. Then we said, Come on back. Right. That's very possible.

That's what it was, folks. That's a big similarity. And plus, they both had American mothers.

They both had American mothers, and it was the three of them. It was three guys. It was war makes for strange bedfellows. We had Winston Churchill, we had FDR, and then we had a guy named Stalin. Joseph Stalin. Not his real name.

Is Joseph Stalin not his real name?

Stalin means steel. The kid just wanted to-Joseph Steal. Yeah, he was marketing. He liked people calling him Steal. Man of Steal. Man of Steal, basically. I think his real name was Holajowski or something. It's just some weird name.

Weir name. You know what's crazy about, and we should do an episode one day on just specifically Joseph for Stalin because he killed as many people as Adolf, but he doesn't get the bad press about it. He took a lot of people down. He killed a lot of people, unfortunately.

Yeah, he was a commie. What happened is when Winston Churchill, FDR, and him got together, slowly, the relationship between Winston Churchill and FDR started to get a little looser because Stalin stepped in and those were the two big guns. They started cucking him a little bit. A little bit. You call yourself Great Britain, but right now, you're little Britain.

You're just a little island that we don't care about.

You had your day. Now it's the big boys need to talk.

Yeah.

They started making jokes about them.

Right. Churchill didn't love that, of course. He didn't love that. But he stayed professional and he just said, You know what? We still need them. What he was worried about is what eventually happened, he was worried about, he was like, if they keep getting closer and closer, Stalin and FDR, then what's going to happen eventually is they're going to become really good friends in BFFs, and then they may want to turn their sights and take over England. Not that it ever got to that, but what definitely started to happen is they both... I mean, the reason why we even dropped it... You know the theory of why we actually dropped the nukes, right?

We wanted to scare the Russians.

We wanted to scare the Russians.

Scare Stalin, let them know we got it. Don't fuck around.

That's why we dropped two because we said to the Russians, Oh, you told we only had one motherfucker? Yeah. We have this.

Yes.

And so Churchill knew all that. But do you know what's another wild thing that I learned about Whitney Church? You ever heard of Operation Unthinkable? You know about that one?

No. Okay.

Ready for this? Operation Unthinkable, folks. Should we do Operation Unthinkable on the Patreon or just do it here?

Let's do it on the Patreon because that's a goody.

Operation Unthinkable, go to Patreon. Com/historyienes. This is so wild and it's 100% true. It is 100% true.

Now, what do What do you say to all the people out there on the internet that are saying that Winston Churchill is actually the villain of World War II and not Adolf Hitler?

What I say, especially if you're coming from a country that has democracy right now, I'll say you should thank Winston Churchill folks. Because if you thought he was a villain, that's only because you've been free for the last 60 years to do whatever you want. You're sitting there, you cut your dick off and you have it on your head like a unicorn.

But what they're saying is, Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy with the POW camps and the ovens and stuff. What happened was- Did you say Hitler wasn't that bad? That's what they're saying. Okay. What they're saying is- Because that's wild. Winston Churchill was really the bad guy because Adolf Hitler really did what he did with the ovens and POW camps because it was a logistics problem. They didn't plan on what they could do with all these POWs. So they just decided because they were overwhelmed with them, the most humane thing to do, Now, that is from... He's not even a real historian, but he is a content creator. It got big, and Tucker Carlson interviewed him, and what was his name again? I forgot his name.

Wait, so he said that Churchill was actually okay with it?

No, he said Churchill was a bad guy because he started the war because he wanted the war, and Hitler didn't want the war. He just wanted a little piece of Poland, and that's it.

He would have stopped. Where they wanted the Rheinland, and they wanted a little piece of Germany, and they wanted a little Poland.

That's it, and they would have stopped. But Winston Churchill was this warhawk that was like, goading him on and responsible for him continuing to go and go and go and go. Darryl Cooper, that was his theory. He's saying Winston Churchill- Is that the guy that jumped out of the plane?

No. That's DB Cooper.

No, that's the guy that Tucker Carlson interviewed, and then it was a big hoop law on the internet, and even people on the right were very upset with that. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say, Whoa, that's not true. Winston Churchill's a hero, but he's going, Look at all these bad things Winston Churchill did.

Because there's not- It's almost like he was trying to cancel Winston Churchill. There's not a person in history- I don't know.

I'm not saying it's true or not.

Is there anyone-I wasn't there. Is there anyone in history who's went on to become a hero that people don't think is also a villain? It seems like impossible to be hero. Jesus Christ.

Good guy all the way around.

Yeah, but there are a lot of people who think he's a villain. You know what we call those people.

Yeah, those guys are- Maybe Jews, too.

Jews and Muslims are Jews.

They think he's an imposter. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, today, my- Basically, no matter who you are, you're I'm just going to have some people love you, some people hate you. Muslims actually don't hate Jesus, right?

No, I think they think he was one of the prophets.

Right. Okay. I think the Jews think- Muhammad's the big guy, and Jesus was just another guy.

Muhammad is huge. Yeah, he's Ted Serandos. He's big. He's running it. Yeah, he's the big guy. Yeah. He was also a military guy, and he was a political guy. He was a conqueror.

I think he was a cute kid.

There's no way he wasn't. There's no way he wasn't.

You can't have that much power and not be a little bit of a hoddie with a body of Genghis Khan.

But look at Hitler, he was not a hoddie, and he rose to power.

He wasn't a hoddie.

Just the way he spoke, dude.

Girls wanted to bang him out big, though, right?

How many times have I gotten calls from you? You say you're watching Hitler's speeches in Germany, you're getting chills.

Yeah, I mean, before my- You can see how he convinced people to do things with that charisma. Because it's one of those things I just watch it for history. But if you ever want to get fascinated, then go watch a Hitler speech with the English subtitles on. You're like, Wow.

Yeah. He's a good speaker.

Yeah.

Churchill was also a good speaker.

Well, I told you when I was watching the Hitler's speech when they just AI did the Hitler's speech in English without a German accent, and he was just saying his words, and Jasmine was making food in the kitchen, and she's just listening on the TV. She has no idea what I'm even watching. She goes, Who is that? And I go, Oh, it's a political leader. She goes, I like what he's saying. He's making sense. I said, That's Hitler. She's like, Oh, my God. No, I didn't know that. Because he's talking... All they did, this AI thing, is every time they said Germany, they said America. And so they changed it because all really Hitler would do is talk about how much he loves Germany and how every country is going to tell. He said he would famously go to, Now we're fighting another superpower. It's Germany versus England. And he goes, One of us, one of us is going to be destroyed. The only way to win is one of us must be destroyed, and it will not be the Germans. And they started to go nuts. This speech that I watched was America versus I think it was Russia.

And America will not be destroyed. And people clapping, whatever, and jazz. That shit is nice.

Yeah, when you heard it in English, you're going like, This sounds like a lot of politicians. He was just going, We're going to make Germany great again. That was basically what he was saying.

Put yourself, if you're a German person, the Jews stuff and the Holocaust stuff is inexcusable. But just as far as Germany getting their lives back and going to war, make believe you're a German person in your 20s or 30s. At that time, you have no money. Your country got decimated in World War I. You have to pay all these war reparations. Then this guy comes back. It's like, Hey, let's pick up the pieces and let's just stick it to these motherfuckers.

Well, I could always see in all these countries, because they go from great economy to bad economy, feast to famine. There's just one group in all these countries that just has figured it out. They're just always is doing good. It's like I could see during bad times, they look at the Jews and they go, What the fuck are they doing? But what they really are doing is just being good with money. That's all it is.

They just are so good with it. They're good with it. There's nothing bad about that. They're good. It's economy.

Certain groups are good at certain things. I got to just say the Jews just figure out a way to just... They're recession proof. They just figure out a way. When you're down on your luck and you look over there, it's very easy to scapegoat them because you're going like, They're rich. They're doing okay. They're unaffected this. Let's take them out.

Yeah, it's what it is. But so with- It's not the first time it's happened. No. It just happens. Listen, Churchill, there is also another, and this is just a conspiracy, Cutie. This is a conspiracy, Cutie right here, but there is some thought that the Americans and British knew about the Holocaust and the camps. There's this theory that they say that when they discovered them, they were agaced by them and, Oh, my God. That definitely was, I'm sure, some truth to that, but they thought They knew about this from their secret agents and that the Nazis were getting some type of scientific result in the beginnings of the Holocaust. Then it got to, because they all got so drugged out, not science, and they just started mass murdering people. That's when they pulled in and said, Get these camps out of here. But there is some thought that maybe FDR or Truman at the time knew, and Winston Churchill knew about it, and they're like, If they're getting science out of it, maybe we should just…

Yeah, let's just see what they come up with. I mean, yeah, not doing Yeah, we're not doing it, but we could benefit from whatever they learn.

It's a weird part of history. It's possible. That's a full conspiracy, Cutie. It's possible. But in the research, we learned about that.

Yeah, it's very possible.

What do you think? Winston Churchill, hero or villain, Cutz?

Absolute hero. I think it's one of those cases in history where a guy's personality pushes history forward and pushes good over evil. I really do. You can get boggled down in This is what's so horrible about times like this, because like you said, guys got to make horrible decisions where you're sacrificing one people for another, you're sacrificing lives for other lives. A lot of saving private Ryan moments happened. But ultimately, he was the guy that first saw what threat Hitler was. He first understood who he was and what he was about, and he was ringing the alarm. Nobody was listening. Everyone was scared. Chamberlain saw what military beast he was, didn't He was like, Maybe we'll cut a deal. He was appeasing him. It was really only Winston Churchill that was signaling the alarm for the rest of the world that this guy's going. He wants to burn people. He wants to take over the world. He wants to be a fascist. He's a racist, and it's bad for democracy. His efforts single-handedly to continue to woo FDR. Woo FDR. Come on, baby. I love you. Get in.

Yeah, and he got in.

He got him in, and that was that.

Who does Winston Churchill sound a lot like?

We saved the fucking world, make zero mistake about it.

Yeah. You want to bitch that there's a McDonald's in your country right now? You're fucking welcome, okay? Because it could have been an oven in there.

It could have been a fucking oven in there. It could have been a fucking oven in there. There's even people going in there and everyone would have been just Nitzel. It was a dead. Imagine going to a five-star restaurant and all you're having is hot dogs.

Exactly. It could have been that. You're welcome. Let's just be crystal clear here. Okay, Winston Churchill was predicting this, was warning the people, and nobody listened, so he is Alex Jones.

He was right like Alex Jones.

Alex Jones is my Prime Minister.

Yeah, he was way ahead of the game like Alex Jones.

Alex Jones is wild, and he was calling shit out since... He called Epstein out in 2003.

Yeah, and Dunkirk, which is... Just to emphasize, Dunkirk again, dude, that could have been the end of it. That could have been the end of it if he couldn't get... What was it? 400,000 soldiers. He had no way to get them out. And he goes, What was it called? Operation Get Him Out or something. Yeah.

What was it called?

Operation Barboza?

Barboza is the one... That was Russia. Barboza.

So whatever his operation was, he said, Everyone with a boat. He said, He went to the Citizens. He said, Everyone with a boat. We got to get these people up. He ended up getting like, 330,000 of them out when they were predicting, maybe we get 40,000, 50,000. And That was basically a majority of the British military.

Yeah. And I could tell- He pulled him out. I could tell because- He pulled out when he needed to pull out. That's what it is because he's better than me like that. And I could tell that Yannis is now back in the game because make no mistake, we talked about that exact fact 30 minutes ago, but his eyes were here. But then they finally came back together. When he started, I just noticed that the eyes came back, and then he's back in the game.

I'm back in the game because I don't know if you brought up that he used all the boats from the citizens.

That's what I said. Did you set it? I said it word for word. But your eyes were here.

Yeah, so I just missed it.

Now I'm back. But now you're back and you're laser-focused and you got the bullseye back because you're Yanny bullseye.

Did you say that it could have ended? I mean, word for word.

It's what it is because... But we're frangs and bees and you're back. I'm happy. I'm happy that Yane is back drinking a box water. She gave me water in a box.

In a box. But it could have all changed right there and that could have been it. And then-Dynamo.Dynamo..

We wouldn't have had Jessie because they wouldn't kill Jesse's mother. Jesse would have been gone. Jesse would have been out of here. We probably still would be here as slaves, though. Actually, no, I would be fine because I would be Matt Wright.

Yeah, you'd be fine.

I'd be on top of the game. I had my hair dye blonde.

Some are the Whites like me and Jesse would be out.

Because I would be kissing the mirror. Just in the mirror, just have a thought.

You'd be in a good place.

I'd be in a good place, yeah. But you guys would be out.

We'd be totally out. You got to give the guy a lot of credit.

I think also hero to me, I understand when you look through history, you could see a lot of people did bad things. George Washington had slaves. Churchill let India starve. Mlk used to cheat on his wife and hit her. Everybody's got something. But the bottom line is they're great men because they're great men.

Overall net, they're great Overall, Net Great Men, they've done 10,000 times more than their critics have ever done in their life.

That's why I go to that Man in the Arena speech with Teddy Roosevelt. That's huge. Critics are, by essence, weak people that they don't have this spirit to lead. I mean, you show me someone who critiques for a living, I show you a weak person. Because these leaders, they're not critiquing anybody. They're just blowing shit up, getting shit done.

They got to make tough decisions, and they don't overthink it, and they just do it. I mean, think about D-Day when they were using all those fake planes. They were ingenious. Yes, because the better place to invade would have been closer to Belgium, but they tricked them, they tricked the Germans, and they came in on Normandy, and they set up all those fake military apparatus.

Basically, like Thanksgiving Day parade floats.

Yeah, just like fake tanks and fake planes. And they came in. Yeah, and they snuck attack them back.

And D-Day, Utah Beach and Omaha Beach, which because I would love to go to Normandy. I think that's when we-Let's storm the beach in Normandy. Here's the thing. You ready for this? You ready for this? We're We're not going to have these money goals or whatever on Patreon. But what I will say is, you ready for this? I'm ready. When we get to, right now, we have 10,000-ish members at Patreon. Com/history. History Hyena. 10,500. When we get to 25,000 members-We're going to fucking Normandy. We're going in. Ready for this? Yeah. Go to Patreon. Com/historyhiena. Join because we have a lot of content and a lot of fun. But when we get to 25,000 members, here's what we're going to do. Me, you and Jesse are going to to Normandy, and we're going to pick one lucky Patreon member, and we're going to take them with us. When we get to 25,000 members, so that's the only way you can get in the sweepstakes, we will take you with us now. 99.9 chance It's, if you're a piece, you're going to get picked. Just know we are going to look at your profile pictures, and it's going to be random, but it's just randomly going to be an absolute fucking smoke show that we're taking to Normandy.

It's a looks-based contest. It's what it is. You're hot Yeah. If you're not hot, get plastic surgery.

Go for it. Yes. 25,000 members, so we got a ways to go. But we are going to Normandy because I want to go to Omaha Beach and Utah Beach. I want to see where this glorious D-Day happened. You know what's wild, too, about Normandy? Then we'll get to the Patreon names. You know, the German government wants to take the Nazi soldiers' bodies back or bury them, whatever. The French government said, No, we'll bury them. You can keep their bodies here, but we're going to bury them with black crosses. There's a whole field of black crosses, and it's the Nazi soldiers buried dead. I want to see that, too.

I want to see that.

Would you take a piss on?

Yeah, like I did. Remember, I took a piss on the Confederacy.

When we went to the Battle of Antietam, when we went to Antietam Annal field in Maryland, Yannis took a piss where the Southern Confederate soldiers were buried. Make no mistake, that's a federal offense that the Biden administration would have given you jail time for, where the Trump administration will give you a tax break for that.

Yeah, we had fun.

We did have fun.

This will be fun.

We're going to go. Listen, we don't know if it's fully announced yet, but there's a chance it might be announced. Go to historyhijienesisback. Com or christiecomedy. Com or janispapiscomedy. Com. We are doing right now as it stands, a live History Hienas in Washington, DC on Saturday, January 18th. Saturday, January 18th, live History Hyenas podcast in Washington, DC. We don't know the venue yet, but it might be on sale by the time this episode comes out. So live History Hyenas podcast, drive from wherever. We're only going to do our live shows in the original 13 colonies. That's a rule. That's just what it's going to be. We're just not going to desecrate this beautiful country and do a live China show, if it's not one of the original 13. And Washington DC is not one of the original 13, but it is our nation's capital, and we thought we'll start there.

That's right. And check me out in Austin this weekend. I'm shooting my special. I don't know if there's tickets left, but if you listen to this, go to that. Also be on the look out for our live shows we may start doing in New York City.

That's going to be fun. Yes, might start doing those on a weekly basis. But right now, one of our favorite parts of the show, you fans have told us your favorite parts of the show. We have a really good time. We read out the newest members of the Patreon, the Matriarchy, as we call them. We are a little behind on names. If you haven't heard, just because we get so many of them, we can only do 200 or 300 at a time. Just know, if you have not heard your name, your name is coming. Do not worry. Do not fret. We will get to it and we will catch up. But because of the love and support of our fan base, it's just taking a little bit longer, but it's fun. And of course, we pick the winner. We call them the pseudo Penus of the Week, and you will see your name if you have what we deem as the funniest name at historyiennesisback. Com. Okay, so here we go. I'm going to start reading the names. These are the newest members of the matriarchy. Welcome. Justin. Is that like a swastika joke? That's security.

That's security. We're going to have to usher you to the back. Nathan Hutchinson, Bo. Then we got Trump Picks for Bordersar, a. K. A. Secretary of Catapults, Eslo K. S. Secretary of Catapults.

Yeah, he's got to go to the list.

Okay, so he's going on the list. We have our first member on the list. Thomas Csack, Kirek Diggler. Kirek Diggler. Eddie Bill. James wants Christie to come in me in a different way. Fry.

Okay, it's a request. All right.

Colin MacDougal. Tim Dylan. Hi. Tim Dylan is on the... Welcome. I was on the phone with you Roman D, Kyle, Clark, Pizwad, 47, Jake Dogg, KW, Chefre Domer. Like chef.

I mean- That's a catapult.

That's on the list.

That's a contender. Chefredommer. Jeffrey Domer.

Cannibal Jeffrey Domer. You called him Chefre Domer.

Yeah, put him on the list. He is a chef. That's the contender. That's a catapult.

Okay, putting a star next to it. Sam Ennard. Then we got Yanny, Poppin' My Moonly.

Okay.

All right. No fumes, nick.

Like that guy, chicken finger.

Straight to the back, just kidding, I'm gay.Funny Drexler.Okay. Brit, Ian Fry, Christopher Hayes, Andrew Eck, 12, Brennan Sullivan. Then we got Matt still waiting for Christie D to crack me open and eat Lakeside Maple out of my smashed Bean.

It's a mouthful.

Yeah, but good. Good. Lucid M, Patrick Rudzic, Matt Gill, Jay Tesky. Then we got Schiferny. Then we got Logan, My Bomb. Then we got Father, $3 Bill, Touch My Asti. Christopher Reilly, Coach C, Mark Y, Chris Shackleton, Hairless Wop with a juiced up lollypop, #ForTheTable.

Drexler, good one. Drexler.

Strong one.Fly Drexler, you were close, but you didn't make it. But For the Table is just the fans love For the Table. We love For the Table. I say For the Table always. Chrissy Kammel is jacked off at Chihuahua. Travis Downing, Douglas Jerezky, Rebecca Schauers, Matthew Corrado, Calin Groves. Then we got Karkle TT says, My Communion Water is for the Table, Fart Hog. Theron Wallenty Then we got a piece from South Jersey, But Call Me CTM. Peter Schoffela. Then we got Cackle Free Videos or Taking the Boys Up to Poughkeepsie. You can get Cackle Free videos at petron. Com/histerianas at the $10 level. They're there. They're there. Elvin Z, Tucked in Trumps, Santer, 8254. Aoc is for Rome, but Pete's Butachet is for the table.Drex.

Or struck.Drex, that was great.

Good one. Johel Marben, Michael, Casey Boos, Zek, Omishi 33, Anthony Dahlans, Dom, Frank Kapp. Then we got veg, Goddangit Bobby, Ryan Randolph, Stephen Ketty. Then we got Always Play the Trump card. Cuckleman, 710. Wheel Cool guy, Stacey Tobacco, Graham Hill, Graham Hall, Colton, Tenilo, nick Spencer, Alex Nesdial, Gabriel Courtney, JD Vance. Welcome. Valentino Calderone. Justin Jackson, $2 bill. Great kid. There it is. Donny Jones, Bag of Bones. Then we got the present, Isn't friendly with me, so my feet are at ladder 14 because my life is a character piece.

Funny.

Drexler. Jean So tight, JB, Molly Lange, Michael Lassasso, Mr. Wargasm, Abby Rendels. Then we got Santrap's Quake with a glue gun leak. It's got an STD. Yeah.

Drexler, On the fence. Okay.

Andrew Mar, Dave, Johnny Grant, Ash. Then we got Poking for Hyena's Return, likes Max and Steubin's, watching Bull's Piston in '91.I.

Like it.Okay. Yeah, I like it.Drexler, Drexler.

Matt, K. Gibbons. Then we got AOC, Please Touch My Wee-we.

It's a nice It's a request. It's very funny. I'm going to Drexler it.

Then we got Stormy Daniels' Cum Dumpster.Chicken figure.Ben Staden, Austin Greens. Then we got Harvey, Suck My Dick Babe. I can't give you the part in the movie unless you Suck My Dick Babe, Weinstein.Put.

Them on the list.

Yeah. Okay. Suck My Dick Babe's Old School. Then we got JJ, I live in Howard Beach, so of course, I'm loud of 14. Okay.

It's nice to know where you're at.

Serup Monkey moving his vegetables to the H H F Fs. What's a Serup Monkey? Maybe they're from Vermont.

Probably a Canadian.

A Canadian. Maybe Canadian. Then we got Half Na Mean, Half Sandy, I put Hot Sauce in My Hummy. Okay. Dawson Barber, Nicole Nicole Macaulay. Then we got Sergio Chacone's Exotic Snake Dealer.

That's on the list.

That's on the list. That's hilarious. Shane Ormus. We only got four minutes, right? Bobby B. With Tiny Peepee, Marissa and I Kissed once. It's what it is. Matt Williams, Mickey Polka Monkey offended me with the Squeek Sauce. Father Bill here for the Convent.List.List. I mean, that's... He's banging the nuts. Yes. All right, so we got Bill Cosby's Margarita Machine.On the list.On the list. Vinnie the Guinea.Chicken Finger.Chicken Finger is nice.Yeah. Then we got Rocky, Reilly, Matt Samson, Jeff Rubino. Then we got Canadian Cousy eating Lemon Sucker Box. Got my breath smelling like Fumariar unfiltered. I walked into one. Walked into one.

A little security, but also a Drexler.

Yeah, Lemon Sucker Box. Lemon Sucker Box might have just been your name.

If you went Lemon Sucker Box, you would have got it. On the list.

I got a catapult. Yeah.

Well, good, very good.

Francisco. Then we got Julio Alejandro Alvarado. Okay. Cade Tarroll. Then we got Joe, Sometimes when I'm feeling squirly, I let my glue dry in my shorts and curlies. In my short and curlies. Damn, victim of a bad read.

Still funny Drexler.

Then we got Bobby Kennedy's ThroatChicken Finger. Okay. Wisko guy with nine DUIs.Fony.Yeah. Kjb, Liam, Daniel Glauer, Jake Norton. Then we got Vegetable Mover.

The kid likes to drink.It's what it is.Chicken Finger.

nick Fazio, Michael Campbell. Then we got Sean Chico-Berkowitz, Esquire III. Josh Clauer, New Jersey Ramos, African Rose, Justin Gui, Weyshawn King, which we've had. But still A little good.

Shout out to a great one.

Then we got straight anal sipster needing a gooch-mooch Mister.

Drexler.

The Romanian grass sniffer, gorgeing on a fume feast. Welcome to the Wild Wild East.

Inventiveness gets him on the list. That was inventive.

Then we got destroy my bean, gang bang me, ladder 14.

Funny factor on the list.

Make no Steak, Matriarchy, Maddie's got a loaded glue gun.

Kit is locked and loaded with a nice Drexler.

Then we got tyranny Hunter. I mean, tyranny Hunter, damn autocorrect.On.

The list.On the list. It's just… The guys are getting so inventive.

I thought I was walking into one, and then they saved it. It's just imagination. Then we got Pat Maruni's Firehouse Mangravy.

Hey, I love that. Drexler, strong Drexler.

Then we got Chris, Make no mistake, Amma F-A-G, DiStefano.Walked into one.I walked into one because he wrote I-M-A-E-F-A-Y-G-E-E. I walked into one.

He walked into one. It's his security.

Security, but it's funny.

Yeah, very funny.

Craig Kslowski, Matt powers.What a Pollock.Yeah, what a Pollock. Then we got Dr. Itard dead. I don't know who's Dr. Itard.

Doctor with R-E-Tard dead. So he walked in a one. I walked into another one. For that one, you get on the list for that one.

Yeah, you're on the list because that's the second one I walked into.

Now they're writing them to sneak them by you.

Yeah, it's a good one. Alex, I'll be so. Then we got Chrissy, the FF loves… Chrissy, the FF loves Squeaker Blue Glue. Okay. Big Gooch, Ross Cook. Then we got Fumar's Stada Stoudemire's uncut glue gun shooting cackle-spackle.

I think we've had.

That's an old school. Cackle-spackle is funny. Yeah.

It's a funny one, Drexler for that. I think we had Fumari Stoudemire, too.

Then we got, I have fumes because I shot in Desert Storm.

Wei Songxi.

That's security. Security. Then we got Troy Todishuck. Then we got Uncut Dutch Cuck, a. K. A. Stroop Waffle Monkey.

Let's put them on the list.

Then we got screwed in and glued in, and now I got Jungle Fumes. Drexler. Then we got Squan Chompottimus, Dimitri El Chamsky, Christopher Ward, Kyle Bujiga, Z. B, Donnie the Democrat, Red Cricket, Grant Cromie, James Skinner. Then we got Anton. Oh, shit. This is a long one. Anton Strashefski, a. K. A. Tony Polish Peace, told my devout wife I'd give her something long and hard on our wedding night, but I didn't. I'm going to tell her it was my last name.

It's good.

It's the longest name we've ever had.

It's the longest name we ever had, and it didn't disappoint at the end. That's funny. A strong Drexler. Strong Drexler. Really good strong Drexler. On any other day.

Then we got Ben and Allison, Jen Jones, William Vergan. Then we got frozen grapes in my ass, then walk around shitting like a deer. Yeah, put them on the list.

Okay. Yeah, put them on the list. That is what you call a contender. That's what you call a strong contender. Putting frozen grapes in his ass and walk around shitting like a deer. They shit pellets. You're talking about maybe a Hall of Famer there. That's what it is.

This is a good one. This is why you have to keep listening to the list because even if it seems like a weak list, you just never know when you might get a Hall of Famer in there.

I just thought that earlier guy was going to win, but it looks like he may be Drexler.

Taylor Eastman, the big bad baller himself. Then we got my Squeak Peace fits with ease, no need for grease. Kenneth Roy. Okay, we'll do another page. Then Then we got JB. Then we got Herstery Hyena. Then we got Knocked up my Korean girlfriend and watered down my white jeans. Now my son's going to have a small peen.

Drexler, funny.

Gary Burms. Then we got Robot To Human Hair. Brett Hannerin, Seth Keegan, Matteo Moreno, Dylan Fontana, Dylan Gay, Best Pal Kippie, Low Key Steph, Whitney's Tits.ChickenFinger.ChickenFig er, Bobby DeFreeze. Then we got Rosa Parks had a drop-top caddie. Patrick T. Caru, Brenda Orozco, Gavin O'Neill, Tim Walsh, Lumpy Mooseknuckle, Paul Corup, Dustin Linder, Giselle's BJJ teacher. Did we have that already?

I don't know, but it's a chicken finger.

Hayden, Sean Burton-Miller, John Rosario, Jean Sack, Lack of Chroma Homes.

Lack of Chroma Homes.Not bad.Inventive, and it's on any the day, but I'm sorry. The guy put frozen grapes in his ass, and he walks around shit like a deer. So you're Drexler.

Jamal Bartlet, Miguel Ramos, Alex Diaz. Then we got It's Over, Johnny, DCR Jr, William Charles, Phillips, Westfall, Ryan Dunphy, Fumala Hairypuss, Chase Hayden, Michael Bishop, Z, Mike Hon, Timothée Lepetre, Connor flood, gay priest, James McJunkin. Then we got Non-toot, got fumes, fat mans, got boobs. Chrissy Kias, andymino@gmail. Com.screwed in.Screwed in.Put his email in. Yeah. Then we got Fattiest Canon, Banjo Buck. Then we got Kamala on my Mike and Ike Elginson. Okay. Justin Vickers, Ricardo Carrillo, Bout That Live 2023, Doug Emhoff's Clean Right Hook, Molly, Shane Bihar, Joe B, I Got Catapulted Over the Wall, Brandon McGowan, Nicholas Babbit, Ty Vandy, Jack. Then we got, here we go, Trouble D. Then we got Uncle Russie's Best In Show, Fuzzy Cuzzy.

It's good. All right. Do we have enough? I don't want to ruin everybody.

Okay.

Did we have enough? That's enough.

Let me just look if there's anyone. Okay, the only one-You should just read them, right?

Because people like to hear their names. You just read that page. Do finish that last page.

Okay, we'll do one more page. One more page, and that's it. T double D. Uncle Russie's Best In Show, Fuzzy Cuzzie, Justin Kalowski, Dick Baby, Tyson Corley. Then we got Frank Marinaria in my name, but potatoes in my blood, D Lorenzo. Then we got the Overshadowed podcast.Screwed In.Screwed In. John Baker, Straight to the Backshot, Jenny.

Straight to the Backshot, Jenny's a... Oh, that's a really good Drexler. Yeah.chicken finger and a Drexler. It's a good, simple one.

Then we got Bronnie Half-Scroats, a. K. A. A. K. A. A. Daddy, a. K. A. Too High for Fire Department. Okay. Okay.

So a little wordy.

Yeah. Dekle Milletich, Brandon De La Rosa, Joe Arias. Then we got Feral, Father Bill's Unholy History Hole, Lou. Then we got Shannon Sharpe's Instagram Mute Button. Big fart of the show. Keith Scanlin, Maddie Slice. Oh, big fan of the show, sorry. Cal Tata Suniko, Joe Logan. Then we got a Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK. Contender. Contender? Okay, that's the one I saw. You never know.

Yeah.

Micah Abbott, Gus Eslo K. S. Hernandez. Not Pritty Pal Boy, Blake Beard, Lucas Jalowski, Shilmaille, Holly Antcap1, Kyle Conley, Brandon Young, Chris Panucci, Austin, Chip Chepansky, Drew Dijou, a. K. A. B. B. Netanyahu fumes. Okay, sorry. Andrew Nickel, Marty G. Cole hair sign, Kevin Lentini, Barry McCockner, Fumario, and Luigi.Put them on the list.Okay. Okay, that was another good one.

It's going to be a tough one. This one's going to be a tough one.

nick Stengel. Then we got kielbasa and beans because I'm a Pollack.

Drexler, funny.

Half potato monkey, half TP2. I got a DUI at 18. Lauren's Dead, Josh C, Liz Small, Costa Janocas, Lauren Marindino, GK. Then we got Marky, the Leroy, a. K. A. Schultz's favorite eunic.

Drexler, on any other day.

Rick Taylor, Hey Bert, Chrissy D. And Yanny PR. Franks & Beans, Jason Ward. True. You Up Yanny, Jamming Yam's with Chrissy Cumsox, Kippie Vantage, Jeffrey Oliver, and Joey B. Yes, so that is That's the list for now. Let's read the contenders. Thank you, everyone, joining the Patreon. Thank you. Okay, so here we go. These are the contenders. We actually don't know who the clear-cut winner is on this. We're going to take a chance.

No.

We got a Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK. Contender. Okay, that's a contender. We're going to keep-Contender.I'm circling this one.That's a contender. Okay. Fumario and Luigi.

It's a tough Drexler out of any other day, that kid's winning. That's tough.It's tough.That's tough.

This is what it is. The Romanian Grass Sniffer, Gorging on a Fume Feast, Welcome to the Wild Wild East.Beautiful.

Wine, Skate, Drexler.Okay..

Destroy my bean, Gang, Bang me, Lata 14.

Any Other Day. Drexler.

Tranny Hunter, I mean, tyranny Hunter. Damn autocorrect.

Contender. Okay. Contender.

Dr. E. Tardel.

Any Other Day. Okay.

Drexler. Uncut Dutch, a. K. A. Stroop Waffle Monkey.

Any other day, Drexler. Okay, that's out.

We know what's going on. Okay, then we got frozen grapes in my ass then walk around shitting like a deer.

That's the contender.

Okay, so right now we are… Then there's just a couple more. Harvey Suck My Dick, Babe. I can't give you the part in the movie, Unless You Suck My Dick Babe Weinstein. Yeah, Drexler. Drexler.

Good one.

Sergio Chacones, Exotic Snake Dealer.

Amazing. Drexler.

Father Bill here for the Convent.

So good, but Drexler. Drexler. Yeah.

Billmilker Hasby's Margarita Machine.

Good one. Chicken finger.

Chicken finger.

Okay. It's Drexler. Justice crack it up.

Trump's pick for Bordersar, a. K. Secretary of Catapults, Eslo K. S.

Very good one, Drexler. Drexler.

Then we got ChefreDommer. Contender. Contender? Contender. Okay, so let's get to the- God damn it.

This may be the hardest one yet.

Here's the contenders, folks. Okay, it's between these four. Chefre Domer, Tranny Hunter. I mean, tyranny Hunter, damn auto-correct. Frozen grapes in my ass, then walk around shitting like a Deer, or a Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK. Who is the PPW, folks? We got four to pick from.

Let me be honest with you, this is one of the toughest one we've ever had.

This is why because you're Winston Churchill, I do not have the power because I'm Neville Chamberlain. I'm a pussy. I'm suing for peace.

How hard is this? This is impossible, dude.

But it's up to you. You are the lead. Some will consider you a hero, some a villain. Yeah, that's true. You're in the seat.

Give me the first one.

Okay, we got Shefri. Sorry, the first one is Trani Hunter. I mean, tyranny Hunter, damn autocorrect. So good. So is that still in?

I hate to do this. This is Sophie's Choice shit. I'm going to direct this with that kid. I hate it. I hate it. This is just how tough this gets.

Okay, so then we got... It's really... Oh, and then we also have Shefri Domer.

Shefri Domer is a contender.

They're still in. Okay. Then it's between Shefri Domer. It's between Shefri Domer, a Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK, or frozen grapes in my ass, then I walk around shitting like a deer. Which one is it? I can't help you because- No, this may be one…

I feel bad for that guy that just got Drexler because any other day that's winning, this may just be one where we got three winners. How do you pick between those three, bro? How do you- You want to put up there? How do you literally pick between those three? How do you do it? Jeffrey Domer. Yeah. Maybe he's Drexler.Okay.Okay..

It's sad for me to do. It's sad because it's actually a Hall of Fame name.

It's Hall of Fame name. It's just on the wrong list. That's the definition of a Drexler. He's just on the wrong list.The.

Wrong list. Then we got a Leroy from Atlanta shoved it down my throat, and now I sound like RFK or frozen grapes in my ass, then I walk around shitting like a deer. That's a toss-up for me.

I don't know what to do. Jesse? I don't know what to do.

What do you like?

I'm going frozen grapes.

Okay.

It's the most original one I've heard so far. It's very original, but I mean, how funny is a Leroy He shoved up to his dick and now he sounds like RFK. Hilarious. Yeah. All right. We just may have to do a vote on this one.

So Jesse's got frozen grapes in the ass, and what do you got? Because then I'll be the third deciding vote.

Okay, you're right. So listen, The RFK one, it should be a winner if we gave them both. We have to pick one is what you're saying?

Yeah.

For me, it's going frozen grapes. I walk around shit like a deer. That's the one. Because it's just the funny factor. They're both funny. Yeah, That's one of the toughest ones we've ever had.

It's the closest battle I think we've ever had. It came down to the absolute wire. But congratulations to frozen grapes in my ass. Then walk around shitting like a deer. You are a PPW. You will see your name up at historyhienesisback. Com.

Yeah, that was a tough one.

Thank you, folks, for being a part of the Patreon. We love you. Go check us out. Remember, Washington, DC, January 18th, live. History Hiena Show, our very first one. So go check it out, christiecomedy. Com. Yana. Go see Janice. Shoot his special this weekend in Austin, and then come see me in Miami, December 28th to the 31st. And patron. Com/historyhienas, where we're going right now to tell you all about Operation Unthinkable and some other fun facts.