Transcript of China vs. The Boys

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of History, Hyenas. I'm sitting here with my co-host, Christine DiStefano.

Hi, my name's Chris Pappas. I'm Frank.

You look very cute in glasses though.

Because I feel good. I feel... You can't see.

I can't see anything right now. Where's Jessie? Who are you?

Oh my God, there's Jessie.

But here's the thing. With your new curl and your glasses right now, you're Christopher Reeves But you're Superman, but you're Clark Kent right now. It's what it is. But instead of super powers, what comes out is full Frank Sabine.

It's what it is. Frank Sabine. It's what it is. I'm Clark Kent now, then I take these off, and now I'm Superman, and then I start drinking, and I'm paraplegic. That's what it is.

Do you think your super power, I think, you would be Manic Man? I'd be Manic. You'd be Manic Man. What's his power? Be like, he's going to get a lot of things done. He'll be able to talk to you on the phone while he's texting, while he's moving, and while he's putting Karela down. That's what it is, because you tried to kill your dog with fucking dishwasher soap.

It's what it is, because, and make no mistake, if this is another time, I would have ate it for Christmas.

Rest in peace, Larry. And that you said we're going to eat it for Christmas is very appropriate because today we're talking about a group of people that likes to eat dogs.

Yeah, they like to eat dogs for food, and that's the Chinese. This episode is about basically how China became the enemy. This episode-.

Yeah, this episode is brought to you by America First Foreign Policy.

It's what it is because we are preparing for January sixth.

We did a deep dive, so you don't have to. Today, we're investigative reporters, and what we found out is we did a deep dive. So yes, we know that Jews are crawling to your shoes. So when you're around them, make sure you lace up tight. But what we found out about the Chinese is that they can turn invisible, they can fly, and what they can do is they could just get into the real estate market. That's another thing that they could do is give you an all-cash offer, and you're going to take it, and I know what you're thinking. No, America first. They voted for Trump. Oh, we got to keep the neighborhood Irish. We got to keep the neighborhood Italian. I'd like to sell to a nice Italian family like my family was on 86th Street off of Third Avenue. But guess what? When that offer comes in, you go, You know, Tintin, Tintin, LLLC is offering cash, and the McCormick family is offering an under-ask in price and ask me if it's okay if we don't renovate the house because it has a lot of family tradition and they want to go under-asking.

But Tintin Bingo, LLLC, is offering me cash asking. It's what it is. I'm going to look the other way and I'm moving to Staten Island.

It's what it is. That's what I'm doing because Juju Wang came in with an all-cash offer, and you just got to sell it to him.

Now, this episode will be totally in. Here's the thing.

We are committed to not saying the F word in the first 10 minutes, but we are not committed to not doing Chinese accent. If the YouTube algorithm wants to demonetize us even further and push us down the algorithm, then that's just what it's going to have to be. We don't care. What they What you predict is that China is going to be the top dog, the top economy by 2030?

Yeah. That made me upset. You know what I'm going to do? What? I'm getting pedicures every day for the next month to get these Chinese at my feet.

It's what it is. That's a good idea.

I've been having- Because let's go get pedicures and say, Yeah, that's where you belong. That's where you belong. It the fuck is.

Because you know what it is, because I've been keeping a Chinese household just to prepare. I come in and take my shoes off and I shit in a hole in the backyard.

Live, boy. Just kidding. Yeah, not only can they turn invisible, but they can fold up. They can fold up like a table and fit into a suitcase. So a lot of people are worried about nukes getting snuck into the country. I'm worried about fucking... I'm worried about... Yeah. I When is the Patreon? You're slipping in duffle bags. Duffle bags.

They're sneak them in. If you want to hear the good stuff, go to patron. Com/historyhienist because we are demonetized on YouTube, so we got to keep it in line. But make no mistake, I'm going to Miami this weekend, and when I open up my suitcase, I'm not sure if a couple Chinese kids are going to come flying out because they fold up like origami.

They do fold up. They're very, very, very ergonomically conducive, and they can fit in all things. I just want to say right now, January 18th, we will be in Washington, DC, at the Lincoln Fida.

Yes, Chinese welcome, by the way. The Chinese are welcome.

Chinese are welcome to buy all the tickets up that are not sold for cash. Yes. We'll perform to an empty room as long as the tickets are sold. But right now, we're on pace for a seller.

We're on pace for a seller. That's what my agent said, but my agent is known to lie because he's a frisby.

. Here's the thing. He's an ultimate frisby.

It's an ultimate frisby. And because make no mistake, that show on January 18th at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, DC, is our first live history hijina show. The only way that you can submit questions that we will ask or have a chance to get brought up on stage is go to petrion. Com/historyianas, submit a question, and we're going to take a lucky Patreon member, and they're going to come on stage and make no mistake. We want the Chinese to treat those tickets like their little houses. Just buy them up in cash right now.

Buy him up or treat him like food and styrofoam. Just Neil and sit down on a curb and eat it all up.

Make no mistake, if I see one more comment of one of you fans getting mad that we're plugging the Patreon, why don't you suck our Chinese assholes? Only because we got It's a monetized on YouTube. So this is the way we're trying to make a living because make no mistake, I bought a house that's too expensive on Staten Island. Yeah.

I just need help again. From a Chinese LLC.

Now, here's the situation. Yes, I did a reverse Chinese.

You did a reverse Chinese, which is good. When I was San Francisco, I was there at cost. In San Francisco because what did Rome do is the Romans do. It's what it is. Yeah. But I was there on the Chinese New Year. True story. And when I was there, they were setting off fireworks. Now, I'm not used to what's going on, and nobody warned me about the Chinese New Year. I was there. When you're in San Francisco, you just see Chinese. They're the Puerto Ricans of San Francisco. They're everywhere. I thought that the invasion had started and I tripped a couple of Chinese guys. Yeah, it's what it is. Thank you.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ, get on that button because today we're I fucking hopped up.

We're coming out to have cocaine. I knew Yannis was in there. What is happening?

Because we're coming from the big boy's birthday. It was Jesus's birthday. I'm proud to be Christian.

Yes. Your hair was raised to the roof this morning when I came in. It almost looked like you had hair implants. I don't know what happened, but now your hair is back to normal again. Cud, did you take a shower last night or this morning or no?

I didn't take a shower this morning.

I know when you come in dirty. I know when you come in with a dirty ass.

Yeah, I got a dirty ass right now.

The fans wanted to bring this back and we will. What percentage clean is your ass today?

Right now, because I sweat. I did sweat last night and I woke up and it was wet underwear. I'm going to say the moisture takes me from a 79 to a 67. I got 67% precipitation in my ass.

Wow, so you're 67% clean ass. I got to be honest, I took a shower right before Cummings, but I did fart a little bit on the way here, so I'm 92% clean ass.

But guess what? You want to know why we're both safe? Why? I brought witch hazel pads. Yeah, it's all we got to do is give it a nice little dab and you're ready to fucking get rim job. That's what it is.

Now, Jesse, you had a Staten Island Christmas, so I know you had a lot of Italian food. We are two days past Christmas, but what percentage clean is your ass?85%.85%, not bad.

I would never go 100. You could never go 100 with a clean ass. No, you can't. You can go 100%. Maybe right after the witch hazel wait. Yeah, what you got to do is the best way to do it is take a bath so you can soak that thing. Rub it with your hand, rub it with a bar of soap, get really in there. Then when you get out, two tabs, two tabs of a witch hazel pad. Or after you take a shit, you can get it back to 93. 93 When you get to 93, you got to have one of those bidets. Bidets, right. You got to go French. You got to let that water soak for a good seven minutes. Just let it spray. I say seven minutes because it feels good. Why not just let it happen a little while?

It's what it is because the problem is with me with the bidet, is every time I let it spray my ass, I wind up peeing on my chest because I get a boner. Yeah.

Yeah, it's what it is. The water goes in the ass and it comes out the penis.

It's what it is because I get instantly hard.

Guys, let's be honest. It feels good when it touches your asshole. It feels real. I move it around. I shift it around like that. I shift it around. You have to. Yeah, I get up like this and I just move it around because I don't know if there's more pleasure than getting the asshole stimulated.

That's what God wants. That's where you put the pleasure button.

Yeah, that's what it is. Let me just tell you something. Let me give you a little tip. If you move around a little bit and you let it hit the tape, you definitely go puy. That It's a pressure on the tape. I don't know what it is. You got to make sure you got a nice hard stream from that but then just let it hit that tape. It's what it is.

Make no mistake, we have not said the F for it, but the content has just got us all the way down. Once again, we're down because it's just who we are.

Yeah, but I mean-I'm not going to change for the algorithm. We're not going to change who we are.

I'm not going to change who I am.

We're just a couple of souped up kids that obviously got what we wanted from Santa.

I got what I wanted from Santa. And make no mistake, it's this North Face jacket that I got from Santa that's brindle shit green that my girl bought me, and I do love it. I want to say publicly I love it, but I'll tell you the truth, I'm patriotic.We.

See that jacket?Yeah.

Because it's just a nice...

Yeah, no, that's totally like, I just want you to be safe in the streets because it's close enough. It's close enough to look like the gang. What's that gang I'm talking about? It look close enough to the colors of the Lion King, but also enough to leave you alone, but also enough that you look like an off-duty cop. So I want you to just be safe when you're walking around because I don't want you to get beat up.

I don't want you to get beat up. This is a Sunset Park special right here.

Sunset Park, that was nice. I got that shit from DSW.

Because make no mistake, I'm very happy to have it, but make no mistake, my girl got me a North Face, and I got her a trip to Florence. So it's just a little different.

Can we just call it what it is? Models, it's Puerto Rican Bloomingdale.

What is it? What is it?

We're so seen.

Yeah. No, but I'm happy.

Coming off the fire room the way we need to do when the Chinese fucking invade and they stormed the beaches of Santa Monica, we got to be ready.

We have to be ready, and that's what this episode-Peperdine University is going to be the front lines of the fucking Chinese storm. Because here's the thing with the Chinese, what they're doing, the way I could describe the Chinese is they're picking up speed. Yes. Those kids are picking up speed because if you just go back to the 1970s, China had a nonexistent GDP. They were literally in like... How many countries are there? 350? They were in 348 place because it was like Haiti. Yes, it was a nonexistent GDP. They were not at all on the map, and then they changed. I wanted to learn the Chinese names, but make no mistake, because I don't know the difference between these two names.

You just got to drop a bunch of silverware and then that's what it is. Yeah. Latter 14. Then you're going to come up with 10 names just by accident. Yes. Fucking, I don't know, Mao Dei Schlong.

That guy.

My big tongue.

Yeah. Yeah, my down mouth. Here's the thing. It's not people that's racist. No, they can't pronounce our names either. It's just a different culture. Shut up with the picking which culture you're allowed to make fun of and which culture you're not, because I I see a lot of you motherfuckers on there going, Oh, Luigi, Mario, but that's okay, you pieces of shit.

Right. Ask a Chinese guy to try to pronounce Larry, our Uber driver, or Larry, the dog that Chris tried to kill. You know it's not going to come out loud.

It's going to be Rari. It's going to be Rari, and that's what it is. Rari, the Uber driver that we posted the episode of our time in Austin at patreon. Com/schisdrahinus, he did tell us that he shoots blanks. He did tell us he shoots blanks.

He's got no prostate.

We illegally recorded him, but Jesse did a screwed-in move and did We didn't put any of the video out there. Instead, it was all audio, and then we are safe that way.

I don't think Larry's ever going to do any research to find out what happened. We may just start karmikazy-ing Uber drivers because it ended up being a very fun idea. Do you just think of karmikazy?

No. That's Ten out of 10.

Yeah, I think we're Karmakasi.

Karmakasi is a 10 out of 10. Yeah, I think we karmikazy. Karmikazy is a 10 out of 10 where we are going to put on the patron, we're going to be in the back seat of Ubers, and we're going to secretly record our conversations with them. That's a great way to do it.

That's a great legal way to do it.

We talked about, we were at our in Austin with Joe Rogan, and we thought the episode was coming out the next day. And make no mistake, we're sitting here one week later and the episode's still not out. It's still not out.

It's Eslo K-S. It's Eslo K-S.

He put out an episode of him and Duncan Russell in elf costumes, which is a 10 because they're squig.

Yeah, well, we went Too Wild on the episode, so maybe he may hold it like the Tim Dylan episode. Who knows?

That could be his version of the Tim Dylan episode where he's saying, This is too wild. I can't even put it out. Who knows? I don't know. But talk about China.

Yeah, but speaking of Joe Rogan, I see China a lot like Joe Rogan in the sense that he told us when he was little, he was small, he was a small guy, and he got bullied. Then he just said, I wanted to become the guy I was scared of. That is China. They got kicked around like a rag doll. By the Japanese. By the Japanese, by the British. They had what they called a century of humiliation at the hands of the British and everybody else with the opium wars. The British got them all addicted to opium. All these Western internationals were in there, the tea companies, whatever they were called, and they were in there and they were just raking the land, raking the resources, dominating them after they come from this proud history of thousands of years of dynasties and eunich and having a good time.

Wait, Sean Cheehan, the original eunich from China.

Thousands of years of emperors in glory. They They came up with paper. They came up with gunpowder. With spaghetti. Yeah, they came up with nail files for pedicures. Yes, they came up with a little bit. They came up with good hand jobs. They came up with web feet. Yeah, they came up with happy ending. Happy ending, yeah. They came up with all these things. I mean, they came up with the noodle Then what happened is just the Europeans took the noodle, turned it into something good, and they also took the gum powder, and they turned it into something good. Unfortunately, they took that technology and they turned it on the Chinese.

It's what it is because we just started shooting spaghetti.

They were like, Well, we didn't know you could do that with that powder. They said, You're not as evil as we are because like the Israeli said, all the white men are lepers. It's what it is because- 14. It's just the truth that we have Neanderthal DNA and we're just a little more evil than everybody else.

It's what it is. The white man, you gave us How do we use it for guns and we snored it. That's what it is. That's how we roll. Here's the thing, because population is a double-edged sword. Okay?

Talk to me about it.

Population is a double-edged sword, Babba's, because here's the thing, Lieutenant Lollipop, is population, they have numbers. The one thing you cannot deny about China is they come with numbers.

Yeah, they do spread. They reproduce like string beans. Yeah.

It's what it is because what I like to call them is the Puerto Ricans of the East. Yeah. It's what it is because what I like to call them is the Puerto Ricans of the East. Yeah. It's what it is. Race on Because we're hitting that fucking soundboard heavy today, and sometimes it's just going to be what it is.

I like to call their sperm long distance runners. Yes. Because the penis is a small, so that sperm's really got to travel far to get to that egg. I'd like to call the black sperm is more of a sprinter. It's really only got to go like a quip 50 meters to get where it needs to go. It's what it is.

It's got to go to Patreon. It might have to. Yeah. Pat, do you want to get in here? Pat, give it up for Patty Clips walking in here with our breakfast. Come in here because Pat's got one... Are you coming in? Yeah. Yeah. Just give him his coffee. Yeah. Oh, the door's locked. Yeah. See, that's fine. Yeah. Just in case it's a school shooting in here. The door's locked on the inside. That's what it is. Patty with the fatty coming in. We both got on Nick's sweatshirts. That's what it is. Yeah, let me feed your butt. Yeah. Pat, the Lebanon sensation. Now, Pat is born and raised in Staten Island, so he also knows Chinese are the enemy, and they wanted to try to put up a gate on the Arizona Bridge and not let those fuckers in, but they keep getting in.

But the problem is, like we said, they can fly. That's the difference. At night, they said they saw drones up there. You know what that was? Chinese. That's what it is. That's what they were. If you look closer, it's Chinese. Those were guys up there.

Those were guys up there. Yeah, what I called... Those were deliveries.

Those were deliveries happening. No.

So obviously, we're fucking around. We do love the Chinese. We want the Chinese vote. We love Chinese people. We're just being silly. It's a character piece. But let me tell you, population is a double-edged sword, folks, because China, take China, they had big numbers, just like India has big numbers. And your population, can either use them for good or for evil. What China was doing is they had all these people, and basically the people were collapsing in on themselves. What do you do? Pat just hit a light with his butt.

Yeah, I love you.

Yeah, Pat just hit a light with his butt.

He's got a fat ass.

Yeah, what He's been hired by the Chinese to sabotage. Yeah. What they were for these years, when the '40s, '50s, '60s, '70s, when they had the little GDP, they just were basically on their farmlands, and they were just self-sustaining their own farms. They were basically feeding themselves. Then one day, China turned around. I forgot who the leader was. Who was the leader that turned it all around?Mao.Was.

It Mao?Mao. Mao Zedong.

Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong.

People are going, Oh, that's offensive. No, actually, that's the correct pronunciation I can't go Mao Zedong. You got to go Mese dong. Mese dong. That's how you say it.

Mao Zedong, what he did is he said, you know what?

Mao Zedong.

Yeah, Mao Zedong. Mickey Mouse Zung. Mickey Mao Zedong. Yeah. What he did is he said, You know what we're Instead of just having all these people who are dying of starvation and only feeding themselves, why don't we try to see if basically we can take some of this land that they have and we'll take it for the government. Then what we'll do is we'll have companies come in like Apple was a big one, and other companies come in and basically lease the land from them. These people are now starting to make money by themselves, and they're actually getting money in their pocket instead of just feeding themselves corn. I didn't know you could grow fucking wantons out of the ground, but they're doing it. Apparently, they're doing it. All their food and what they said was they're going to get money from these companies because they're leasing their land. China said, We're trying to basically open themselves up to the world and said, Look, we got a big population here. We got a lot of land, folks. Why don't you come here? We're going to give you a sick tax break. You don't even have to pay taxes for three years.

We're only going to take eventually after three years, 20% of your tax money, which was unheard of, and we'll let you lease the land for 99 years. What happened was is these companies, Apple and IBM and all these companies started working on the land, and the farmers who owned the land in China were getting money, and then they're buying groceries, they're supporting the Chinese economy. Now, all of a sudden, you have all these people, all these millions of people hitting the Chinese economy, spending money. It's going from communism to capitalism, and their GDP starts to go double, triple, and quadruple year after year.That's.

What happened.That was actually Deng Zhaoping.Deng Zhaoping.

That's who it was. I knew it wasn't Mao Zedong.

Before that was Mao. Before that was Mao. Was Mao. Then before that was Chenkai Chek.

Yes.

Yeah. I'm just trying to do it correctly. Right. So Chenkai Chek was the guy. Yes. Yeah. Chenkai Chek and Mao, they're the ones that was having the problem.

Yeah,. They have a problem. Yeah. They have a pop-up.

They had a pop-up. Right. So Mao was Chairman Mao. He was the Communist guy. Then Chiang Kai-shek was the guy that was in bed with Britain and trying to get these guys. They had a little bit of civil war that Mao ended winning. Just to go a little farther back to set it all up for you was that century of humiliation. Then the Communist Party, they looked to the Soviets, and the Soviets were like, Yeah, we're going to be like that. They saw the happy marching in the street and all that. They didn't know it was going to lead to 35 million whatever deaths from starvation because they weren't getting the profits until this guy-We have the ChatGPT slots here, folks. But till you said Deng Jay Tao, he He implemented these economic reforms in 1978. That's what it was. That's when the GDP started growing exponentially, making it the second largest economy in the world, eventually. They fucking went from rags to riches in like 40 years. It all started with Richard Nixon going over there and saying, Hey, we're going to open it up. That's when you started to see the American cities that weren't finished get finished over there.

All their cities are so high tech, and then you go to our cities and you're like, Wow. That's the big problem. That's why we created them. We turned them into the quote, unquote, World's Factory because their economy became an export economy. They were just making shit for everybody. Now they've accelerated that and they're going with influence. Here's what I think. I think their whole motivation is revenge. I think it's revenge. I agree. They want Taiwan back, but it's all revenge for the humiliation. They're doing like that all means necessary Malcolm X economy that the Germans did in a lot of ways because the Nazis, it was like, what were they? Were they Socialists? Were they Capitalists? They were like, by any means necessary.

Do you know how the youth here, they don't know our history? Wait, who's the youth?

Are you talking about the youth? Yeah, the youth. Oh, the youth. Okay.

I didn't know. If I was like, Hey, who's Franklin Roosevelt? They were like, Is that the mall in Long Island? They wouldn't know. Their youth, Chinese youth, they know their history and they have a lot of pride because the Chinese believe they prioritize education and they prioritize national pride. You do not ever forget it. We're here, we don't prioritize that at all. We prioritize just fucking everyone can use any bathroom they want.

That's the problem. That's what it is. That's what's causing the problem.

But a leader, Dang, he said this. This was a big thing. He said, By the time Dang held power, tens of thousands of young people each year were escaping to Hong Kong. When told of the problem during a visit to Guangding in 1977, Dang explained that the solution lay not in tightening border security with more fencing and more border patrols, but improving the economy of Guangding so young people would not feel that they had to flee to Hong Kong to find jobs. That went radically against every other leader there. He said, Why don't we stop trying to fence him in and why don't we just say it's great here? Why do you even want to leave.

Yeah, and much like the noodle and much like gunpower and much like paparoos, paparoos, which became paper, we take what the Chinese did and we made it better. They built the great wall of China, and now we're going to improve upon that and build the great wall on the border. That's what it is. With drones and all those types of things. It's going to be a nice, beautiful wall. It's what it is. I'm not saying I'm for it or against it. I'm just saying we're going to improve it. It's going to be a beautiful wall. You're not going to be able to get around it. Yeah.

You know what it is, too, with the Chinese is they just were able… They made nice bets, okay? Yeah.

They make good general sales chicken.

They do make good general. This is why they own a lot of them on casinos because they're just good at gambling.

They love to gamble.

What the Chinese did, a big, big thing, what they did is when the stock market Gosh, 2008. Everybody's like, Oh, money. Nobody wants to invest, whatever. China, at the time, the Congo Republic, they had a big civil war there. Nobody wanted to invest in Africa.

No, you don't want to go on vacation there. Even now, no.

It's not nice this time.

No, it's not this time. Yeah, you want to go someplace else.

Congo is having a civil war, and China, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, during a global recession, says, We're going to invest $5 billion in the Congo. We're going to get them out of the Civil War. We're going to build the infrastructure. We're going to help heal the Congo. Everyone else was like, Look at how dumb the Chinese are to fucking go into the Congo. But the Chinese were just sitting there with their hats on and the abacus. Kind of screwed in. Screwed in. They had the abacus, and they were saying that The Sun.

They had the what?

The abacus.

What's that?

How they do math.

Okay, I never heard that.

You never heard of an abacus? Of course.

You never heard of an abacus? What is it? No.

Because when you have a little box and then they move little balls, I don't know how they do math, but They were basically doing math like my three-year-old girl does? But that's the way to do it. They move beans across the line? They moved beans across the line and they were high the abacus, and they were doing all these math equations, and they said the sun is pointing to Congo. They said, Congo is where it's at, and nobody could understand why. Here's why they're screwed, and here's what they knew. Here's what the Chinese advocates told them years before our leaders found out. They said, What the world is moving towards is electronic vehicles and electronic energy, EV. Okay? So What they said is, what does the Congo have? What does Congo have? Congo has the biggest mine of what?

I was supposed to say a lot of Black people.

It does have a lot of Black people.

It does have a lot of Black people. I think I probably got the most of that.

Yeah, they got the most of that. Yeah, which China, by the way, they're They're like one of the only countries. They were never racist against Black people. Most other countries were at some point, I'm saying.

I don't know about that.

Are they racist against Blacks?

Yes, they are. Okay, sorry. Presently, I think they are. It's pretty bad.

Are they racist against Blacks? Unfortunately. I don't know everything.

Unfortunately, they are.

Unfortunately, they are. Okay, so sorry. Sorry to our Black brothers and sisters. What they had was Congo had a cobalt mine. The biggest cobalt mine-Is that what's in Duracell?in the world. Yes. So cobalt is the main thing needed to build electronic batteries. The batteries for Teslas and any other type of electronic car. That's what cobalt does. What's happened is China bought in. They owned 70% of the Congo's cobalt. Sneaky. Sneaky. The Congo now, cobalt has went up 400% in just the last 10 years, and it's predicted to go up another 400%. And guess who owns 70% of it? The Chinese.

Yeah, the Chinese.

That's going to add their prediction is by 2035, their GDP is going to be bigger than the United States. And make no mistake, that's why I said they are gaining speed, because right now we are still number one, but these kids are catching up big.

Big, big, big. But it went from cooperation and symbiosis to now America is reexamining their relationship with China. He started with Biden and his first speech when he went in there. The first thing he said is, There's no reason why we can't make these little chips here. He said, There's no reason. We can do it out here. And they can. Basically, that's where it started going, Hey, we're going to start bringing a lot of these manufacturers. He's like, There's no reason where we can't be the leader in this. China's We were really thrilled about that because they love our money. They love our money. They love the way their economy was going, where they were making stuff for us, and they were just raking in money. We did lift them up out of poverty, but we turned them into a superpower because they took all that money and they took all that population and they turned it into a vicious military. They got a very strong military with a billion soldiers. But what they don't have is the boys. We still got the boys. Now, let me explain to you how the math that works real quick.

Let me explain. One Chinese soldier is about what? Five average?

5'5 average.

One of our soldiers, one of our corn fed soldiers, what? About 6 foot, put them on winstrel. These guys are big. Big boys. Yeah, these are big boys around Texas. I would say one American soldier each equals 25 Chinese soldiers. That's right. Actually, due to math, we got the biggest military because our boys are just bigger because they're eating cows.

They're eating cows. That's the thing, guys, is you can't get Jack using chops. It's not going to work.

You can't get Jack eating, you can't do it.

No. My stepson likes to take chops in Polevolt. That's what he does. Yeah.

There's just a difference. Now America is reexamining, and that's why a lot of tensions are happening because tariffs are going into... And who knows? Trump is going to... He's going to be giving out tariffs like crazy. He was giving away deals. Tariff, tariff, tariff. He can be slapping tariffs on everybody.

You get a tariff, you get a tariff, you get a tariff. It's just going to be giving them out. Some people are saying with the tariffs that it's good. Some people are saying it's bad. The bottom line is you just don't know. You never know with the Chinese. You don't know how it's going to affect them, what they're going to do.

Yeah, because what's happened is we've finally woken up to the giant we've created, and now we don't want to... Because they're competing with us now, and they're trying to make their... What is it? The wan, theyen, the wan?

Theyen. They're trying to make that the national currency.

They promote that.

It's like their Bitcoin. Hold on.

Yeah, let it go. Yeah.

That's it. Sometimes I could fight in the tune of the national anthem. Sometimes you can do it.

During national tragedies, it could happen.

That's what I'm going to tell.

The bricks and all that. So Trump's coming in. He's taking a hard line against that. The only thing is some people believe I've heard at the firehouse. What I have heard at the firehouse, what I have heard is, you know Schmitty? Yeah. Schmitty. Schmitty told me down there. This guy reads a lot. Now, what he What he called me was he said now, what happened was when Trump started putting the tarfs on the Chinese. Initially, the Chinese got upset because you don't fuck with anyone's money. You're fucking with the money, and that's what they don't like. They didn't like Trump for that reason. So yeah, COVID, the fucking China virus did come to hurt Trump individually. Yeah, they come to hurt him in a different way. Yeah, they came to hurt him in a different way. They came saucing in a different way. So what I'm scared now, he's doing the right thing by America first and all that. He's doing the right thing. But the problem is I'm scared that he... Yeah, a lot of 14. Yeah, but it's also going to have to get cackled.

Unfortunately, that one's going to get cackled. That one's on the Patreon. It's not that we could do. You guys can complain all you want. We can't put that one out for free.

You know who I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fucking screen mask, people. We're I'm talking about those... I'm talking about them just at the firehouse. Yeah, all this is on the Patreon. This is what Schmitty was saying. Yeah. I wish he was here to defend himself because I'm just caught where he said I didn't say. It's a character piece of a character piece. It's a double character So I'm very far from the verbiage that I'm using here. But he said they're going to throw a fuck. They're going to fucking hurl another one in those fucking China virus. If we give them a tariff. When Trump comes in there, they try to stop fucking General Strom, fucking, they're trying to stop this fucking guy.

I'm telling you because the only place to be safe is Staten Island.

Yeah, that's shit. They're not going to get over it. Yeah, because they're basically going to put a fucking couple of rocks on the fucking tracks of the Trump train. Yeah. And those fucking rocks are going to be another... They're going to hurl another fucking China virus out.

Yeah, because it's been confirmed by our Squeak Fouci that it was, in fact, from China.

Yeah, and this is all that I heard from Schmitty, so that's what I'm worried about. Yeah. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Yeah. Okay. It makes sense. Yeah. That was just a little social commentary from the firehouse.

That was just the fire.

That's not us.

The Lada 14. It's all it is. By the way, we might have an inside track to do a podcast from the actual Lada 14 truck. We have an inside info from a friend of mine who we actually really can do it. I'm not even kidding around. That would be great.

That would be wild. That would be wonderful. That's what we're doing. We're doing that. Yeah. Are we big in that firehouse?

Yes, we are known about. You are known about. Well, not us. I mean, a lot of four teams.

A lot of four teams, yes. Because we work there.

We work there.

We don't work there, but the guy- Those guys work there. They work there. Let me tell you something, I do it nice. I can play a roll of TV when it's my turn for the guys. What I like to do is board game night. When it's a slow night, I like to do board game night. I like sorry. I grew up playing sorry.

You know what for Chris is I bought other guys' bathrobes with their names on it.

Yeah, it's nice.

It had a fucking mess logo. It's nice.

Schmitty cooks a fucking great. He gets that little electronic coal oven for the pizzas. The kid can make a... For an Irish kid, he makes a good fucking pizza.

I just want to shout out Schmitty because he gave me a beautiful birthday gift last week. He sent me a cameo of Pete Alonso saying, Happy birthday. I mean, I appreciate that.

You know what he did? I cried to show my whole family. You know what he did for my daughter on a confirmation? What did he do? He gave a fucking nice, a real nice fucking ankle bracelet with a nice blue stone in there? It's what it is. Yeah, it was real nice. I think he fucking bought it from the Chinese.

Yeah, he probably did because they just give you for a good price. Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing, too, with China. One thing to know is that cobalt, that's a big thing. That is their big, big, big, big, big thing. The other thing is, we are almost certain of this. China is just very screwed in and they're not doing anything illegal. What they're doing is they're trying to, same way United States, same way Alexander the Great, same way everyone before them as the power tries to eventually take over the world. So is China. They really, honestly are doing it through real estate. They are trying to buy up all the real estate in big American cities because they know if we own the real estate, we own them, and they potentially could switch places with us. They become the number one superpower, and we become number two without firing a single shot. It's screwed in, and it's like World War III, but peaceful.

Yeah, and they're doing espionage, they're doing disinformation.

The thing that Chinese can get me with big is a honey pot. I will get honey potted big. I mean, guys, make no mistake, I like Chinese women because they...

Yeah, it's very nice.

It's very nice because, yeah, make no mistakes. Sometimes I make Jasmine put a stick through her hair.

Yeah, because they really... When you're giving them a talking to, they listen. They listen because you don't even have to discipline them. No, no. Jesus Christ. Can you hit the fucking button, please?

Some of this is on Patreon. Yeah, Jesus Christ. This episode is just going to sound like a radio morning show, but it's what we need to do it because we need to just watch it.

Make no mistake. How could you not hit the button when I say you don't need to discipline them?

It sounded pretty tame to me. It sounded tame. Jesus Christ. Yeah, because Jessie's from Benson. That's right.

Yeah. That sounds pretty good.

Sounds pretty good because not only from Bensoners, if you don't know anything about Bensoners, Brooklyn, New York, Jessie's, that's where Jessie's from. He's growing up with discipline to have an Italian side, but then also he does not like the Chinese because overtook his neighborhood. They did. So he's upset about that. But shout out any of our Chinese fans. We thank you so much for your support, and we thank you so much for your cobalt. We wouldn't have cell phones or any podcast equipment without the cobalt from Congo owned by China. Yeah.

Now, when I heard about all that they went through and what the Japanese did to them. This coffee is fucking good. Is it good? Yeah. For so long, the Japanese, starting in 1931, they started invading China. Up from 1931 to 1945, they were just field goal kicking the Chinese. That's what it is. And Shanghai Chek's whole goal.

Now, is that a real name, are you making that one up? No, Shanghai Chek.

Okay. Shanghai Chek.

That's a real one.

Shanghai Chek.

Shanghai Chek. Shanghai Shrek. That's his real name.

His name is Shanghai Shrek. Shanghai Shek. Shanghai Shek. Shanghai Shek. Yeah. At that time, Chairman Mao was siding with the Soviets, Shanghai Chek siding with the Western powers, getting support from both. But at that time, they decided to unite to try to fight the Japanese Japanese invasion because the Japanese got really industrialized, and what they didn't have was that good areaable land because they're just an island. So they decided, We're invading China. The rape in the king, they were brutal. They killed so many Ni, knees.

During the World War II, they said Hitler killed about 15 million, Stalin killed about 25 million, and in China, they said about 85 to 100 million died, mostly of starvation. So that's big.

I think they had about 400 milli population. Boy, has that grown. That's big time. Boy, it's grown.

But back then, Now they have that just in the Lower East Side.

Now, they got them on the ground. They're on the ground, too. They're on the ground, too.They are.They're everywhere. They are. Yeah. Chinese people everywhere. As Mr. Panos would say, Chinese people who's everywhere.

But we love Chinese people, by the way, and we love Chinese food.

We love Chinese food. We love Chinese people.

We love Ali Wang. We're just talking about the history of how they became the superpower.

Yeah, we're just talking about the facts of the situation. Now, yeah, they went through so much. I thought about Ali Wang. I was like, This is what her family has been through. It's a lot of intergenerational trauma. It's what it is. The cycle has to end with you. Yes. She's got to break the cycle. Everyone's got to break the cycle. Now, this is Sergeant Snuggle. You guys come from a long history of fighting in the Eastern hemisphere.

Why are you funny? Listen, and hey, how do you tell the difference? I'm Lieutenant Lollipop. You know me. I'm a big fan of cultural diversity. That's why I love Flagrantou podcast. He said that as well.

That they all look the same. Just throwback. You took up your arms in resistance, but why didn't you think for one second to maybe put the Japanese unnoticed? Why didn't you do that? I don't know. Why didn't you just... When they were marching over those fucking hills, why didn't you say Japanese? It's the top. You're on notice for what you're trying to do. This is not cool.

Because it's very- It's almost sinophobic. It's very hard to tell the difference between the Chinese and Japanese, especially at that time. The only way to know the difference is one group had pushed their hair up, one group had banks. That's what it is.

Seriously, Honestly, if you did a taste test, you know how sometimes people will line up, cook, Pepsi, Arsicola? If you line up, Korean, Japanese, Chinese. Why? I go like, What?

What would I taste that? If I put Chinese meat, Japanese meat, and Korean meat out there, and I put a blindfold around Jeffrey Daumer, and I said, Tell me, do you think he would know the difference?

He wouldn't know the difference.

He wouldn't know the difference.

Now, listen, a lot of you are going, Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, whoa, guys, Whoa. Put a fucking red light on that because you guys are going too far. Okay, let me ask you a question. Could a Chinese tell the difference between a Greek, an Italian, and a French person? No, they couldn't. No, you three white guys? No, you couldn't. You couldn't. You couldn't. Why are we fighting? That's the point. Ukraine, Russia. Why? We're all the same. We have to put this fighting completely on fucking notice and stop it. Yeah. Just like the Hollywood celebrities when they make a video, Putin, stop.

Stop.

Stop Putin.

Right. This has been the Love Lab with Lieutenant Lalee, Papa, Sergeant Snuggles.

That was the little love lab.

Because we're all love. But that is a good point because is that why didn't at that point China... I mean, nobody saw China. China was like Park slope. Where Park Slope, people were buying a property there. Nobody knew that it was going to become this great neighborhood in Brooklyn where the property valley is through the roof. Now, that was like China. Everyone was just saying, F China. Nobody cares about China. Then China was saying, But you're going to know us someday. You're going to know us someday. Then that's what happened. Little by little, once they started changing leadership around and they started to go from communism, which is no bueno, to capitalism, which is all bueno, they have now become... Because unfortunately, you know I bleed red, white, and blue. You know I love this country. You know I have to stay draped in the American-I've actually looked in his toilet and you did shit red, white, and blue, too.

I've looked.

I told you- Fucking amazing. I sent you that picture. We're going to put- He is Captain America. We're going to put the picture on the Patreon. I sent the honest that I'm going to get for the studio. If he allows it, you know that I don't fuck around because when this picture, we're going to post it on Patreon, is I don't fuck around. I love this country. But if we just look at the numbers, if you look at just the numbers, China is going to catch up and they're going to pass us financially just because they got so many more ways to make money. Also, the people over there in China, they work. They don't have OnlyFans. They're not working from home. They're not doing a hybrid work. They're not doing any of that. They just go to work. They just love their country. Nationalism, I know that there's problems with it, but in this case, it's good because they just want see their country be number one, where a lot of our biggest enemy to the Americans is the American people nowadays, and that's a problem.

Yeah. Like I said, I see a lot of similarities, not in anything else except for the humiliation of Germany and then the comeback and the motivation because of the humiliation. It's like when you lose and you want to win. I see a similarity there. Then you add that with the Confucius, the Confucian work ethic, the national pride that grew out of that Communist movement, grew out of the Japanese invasions, and then Mao Zedong, he was good for uniting the country in that national pride that grew out of that humiliation. But then they just saw that it wasn't working. Millions of people were dying for starvation. Then this dude came along Mouh, then that's when Dang. Dang. Luhal Dang. Luhal Dang came on the scene, and he said, We're going to do this different. Like you said, he brought in these foreign businesses and he gave them tax breaks in these certain areas that he districted for tax breaks for them to develop all these national companies. He said, you can go private and reap benefits. Then it was capitalism in that mixed economy that you also see happening in Vietnam now that really lifted them out of poverty and started getting the engine moving.

And boy, did they move like a bullet train. I mean, that confusion work, that confusion work ethic. And then also, I think even more is that humiliation. Think about it. When you break up with your girl, you're heartbroken and you get in shape. Yeah, you want to get jacked. You get up there. When you get rejected, you start moving, and that's basically China. They've been kicked around so long, so now they're like, We're going to be the dominant force. It's never going to... They're basically the new Jews because they're saying never again. They're motivated at a never again. What it is. Their Germans are the Japanese.

It's amazing. They'll say they're the smartest people. They're the fastest-growing immigrant. They're the smartest people in usually every class, but yet there's this campaign message that they're being abused confused and that they're not doing well. That's just all bullshit because they're just crushing everybody.

They're crushing everybody, and so are the South Asians. They're crushing their number one.

They're crushing everybody, but they cry a lot. You're just like, What's going on?

You're killing everybody.

Most of them Most of them just kill it. Actually, yeah, you're right. Most of them just put their heads down and go to war. Yeah.

A lot of them in the past couple of years were crying that they weren't getting enough superhero multimillion dollar roles. Yeah, some of them were doing a little bit of that. Yeah. That's where we are right now. Dude, think about how crazy it is, how quick it happened. That's the thing, right? It's how fast it happened. You're talking about in our lifetime, they went from nothing to number two, creeping on number one in essentially 40 fucking years, four decades. You look at their cities now, you're like, How did they even build that that fast?

The only actual way that we can beat them is to get as many Chinese people. This is the way that we're going to win. You get as many Chinese people here as you can, and you just make them fat.

You just got to do that. You just pump them up.

You pump up like their fogewa. You just pump these fuckers up, pump up their liver, get them fat, get them addicted to drugs. That's the American way, and that's how we'll beat them. That is the only way because in China, they're not doing drugs and they're not getting fat. But when they come here, they get on drugs and they get fat. China is pumping fentanyl into our system. It's what it is.

Yeah. We need to do a massive exported propaganda campaign of dominoes, of Pizza Hut because the kids cannot digest cheese. Get it out there. They got a whole nation having diarrhea. You know what they're not doing? Yeah. They're not on the computer spreading this information. Yeah. They're not flying in the sky as drones. I agree. They're not planning to attack the West Coast of America. They're having diarrhea constantly because the kids don't have the enzymes to digest cheese. Yes. So we got to get them liking cheese.

That's the way that we can win as Americans. Our superpower is we make people fat. Yes. If you to beat India, same thing. They got all these cows. They keep them sacred. Create something that there's actually New God out there that says you got to eat the cows if you want to get into Indian heaven, whatever that is, and get them fat, get them pumped up with fucking antibiotics and hormones, and then we'll beat them, too.

You know how they do? You use the technology that they did to bring Tupac back and put them on stage. What's that called? The hieroglyphic? Hologram. They put a hologram of Vishnu with all the fucking arms. You take Akash, you put him in a suit.

That's what it is.

You put him in a suit in a Halloween costume. You float him over the skies at Delhai, and he goes, I'm Vishnu with all his He goes, Guys, new message from Hali Krishna. I don't know who their God is. Yes. That's him. New guy from the Elephant Man. Yeah. I don't know. The Elephant Man. Yes. The Elephant Man says, Guys, these cows, it's time to start eating them. Yeah. Then you cook them in a burger, you get McDonald's in there, and you get these guys fucking unsaturated fats, you blow them up, hard conditions, cheese. Cheese and beef, let's go.

It's what it is because it's what you do.

Do we got to do all the work for the fucking government? We We really do. Do we have to do all the work for the CIA?

You can just start beating people. It's because it's a German-American way. That's what we do. You get them fat, you get the Chinese fat, you get the Indians fat. How did we get the Greeks? We got the Greeks. We have just a fucking inbred, just like the Yucidic Jews. Then we got I'm going now, and now we got them out. That's what we got to do, folks. The only way the Americans can win is this way, if you listen to us, because make no mistake, and I feel bad saying it, but I think at this point, because the writing is on the wall, the Chinese Their writing is on the wall.

It's very difficult to do it. Why does their writing just look like a crossword puzzle?

I have no idea what it is. They're drawing little houses, and I don't know what it is.

It's really difficult.

I don't know what it is, but the houses look cute.

They do look cute. They're nice little houses and sticks and twigs and all that type of things.

It's what it is. Make no mistake, they're buying each one of their letters in cash.

Yeah, they are.

It's what it is. But I think that the writing's on the wall, we should just team up with them now. We shouldn't make them an enemy at all. Trump shouldn't even be doing the tariffs, nothing. We should just team up and make one big super country with them like Russia is doing with North Korea and invading Ukraine. We should just come together and just pick a place to invade whoever you want to go after.

We have to really side with them because then they won't side with Russia, and that'll slow Russia down because now they're supporting Russia. They're looking at what's going on in Ukraine, and I think they're looking at it as a test, go like, Okay, what's NATO's reaction going to be if we take Taiwan? Because that's what they're looking at. They're seeing Russia take Ukraine. They're going, That's what we want to do with Taiwan. How are they going to react? I think that's a big reason that of why we're doing what we're doing that a lot of people don't mention. You heard it here first. I think it's basically how we dropped the bomb on Japan, like, Did we need to? Did we not?

To show Russia that we're dominant.

I think what we're doing with the Ukraine is we're showing China, which is actually the bigger threat than Russia. We're showing China like, Hey, you try to take Taiwan, we're going to resist. This is what we're going to do. You're going to be in a protracted war. We're going to fund them. It's not worth your time. Also, we're going to start making the microchips here anyway. Just We leave Taiwan, and Taiwan's going, Whoa, whoa, whoa. But we like to make it. We're going, Look, you're a pond in a bigger story here. It's what it is. It's the boys versus the Chinese. It's what it is. You don't have to hit the button. The Chinese people.

The Chinese people. Yeah.

Just the glorious Chinese people.

Yeah. And by the way, the Chinese army is boys and girls. It's all of us. They got girls in there? Everyone gets dressed.

How about lady boys? Are they in there?

They're in there big time.

Who do you think has got the best lady boys? Thailand. Thailand does. Number one. Because they got darker skin.

Yeah. They're like, to me, they look Latina. Yeah.

And here's the thing. The reason why they have the advantage in the ladyboy market is because they're hairless. Truly. Yeah. I mean, they're hairless without the ashtrich.

Yeah, they don't have it. Yeah. So they're halfway there. And they don't have enzymes in them where they smell bad. They don't smell. Their arm pits never smell. They never smell. That's a big Korean thing.

That's why the Asian lady boys are just superior to it. Because you're going to get a European, you're going to get a German lady boy, she's just going to have a Cro magnum for it. You could never be a lady boy, but I can. Yeah, you can. Yeah, because I got a nice smooth lady's face. Like Joe Rogan said, I get knocked out quick. You said you got a better jaw for taking a punch. Yeah.

He looked at me, I was like- Which one of you if that episode ever has it come out yet? No. Have we seen if it's come out yet? No, we'd be getting text if it's out. Yeah. We just I don't know.

You know what else the Chinese are doing, because? Yeah. And Jessie knows this because he studies the Chinese. Yeah.

Why does Jessie study the Chinese so much?

Because he likes ethnic girls.

He does. But his girl is not Chinese.

No, that's what you do. That's what the Italians do. They marry a woman like Ma. He needed somebody who could cook a sauce, and his wife would cook a sauce. Then you get fantasy gumas in you.

Yeah, it's what it is. His are Chinese.

His are all I'm an immigrant. If you went through his Rolodex, there's not one white lady in there. It's much like yours.

It's what it is. His fantasies look like the DMV.

Yeah. It looks like a community college brochure. It's what it is. I mean, he does not like anything white. The darker, the better. Yeah, that's where Jesse goes. He's like, You, he's Dominican? Yeah, he get lost. You just get lost in it. You get, yeah. But what they did, this is another sneaky thing they did, is they're lending out a lot of money like they did, I think. They're trying to build these trade routes by buying up these ports. The way they do it is they lend money. They did it in Greece with the. They lent Greece the money when the Greece was down on its luck, and then Greece couldn't pay it back. They said, Guess what? Why We don't need to pay it back. It's just ours now.

That's what they do with the Congo, for the cobalt mines. They lent them the money and they said, You know what? Forget about it. We're just going to take the cobalt. And the Congo can't do anything.

That's what they're doing. This is- Belt and Road Initiative. The Belt and Road Initiative, it's part of their foreign policy to-It's smart.put forth their influence, their economic influence, their cultural influence. They're trying to do what we've done. They're trying to do what we've done. They're trying to push their culture.

They're trying to push their economic power. Why do we have to make them an enemy? Why not let's just be all on the same side?

Because we've I found out, I think, that they say they want cooperation, but they're doing another thing. They're doing another thing.

Because these kids, the Xi Jinping, the President, now, he's like a dictator. He's never going to leave.

I hear all these pundits. It's so funny. Sometimes they're comedians, sometimes, and they make their money by their pundentry. Sometimes they do stand up for whoever they may be. You hear them a lot of times take take the side of Putin and stuff, not by saying, I support Putin. They always go, He's a bad guy, whatever. But he's going like, What are we doing in Ukraine? Whatever. It's like, I don't know. I don't know if it's good. I don't love that we're sending a lot of money there. I don't love that either. But there's got to be a reason. There's got to be some national security reason that we're doing it beyond the profits. Maybe it's just profits. I don't know. Don't get on me. But if you do, just put it in the comments and start a war because it's good for engagement. That's what it is. But my point is, they go, Putin doesn't want more. He doesn't want more. It's going Oh, so Putin's the only guy who's just happy with a little unlike all the rest of us, the no end to up rest of us? What do you think a dictator's personality is?

You think they're satisfied ever? Look at history. What's the type of a scenario that becomes a dictator. A guy who doesn't want to stop going up, doesn't want more and more and more land. We don't do that. To be honest with you, the red, white, blue doesn't do that. We do it a little bit. We do it with influence and stuff, but we go into countries and we leave them. When's the last When's the time America has taken any land?

No, we left Afghanistan.

We left them all. We left them all. I mean, we make sure that they're parts of us.

We are about to. Trump wants to buy Greenland. He wants Greenland. He wants Canada. He wants Canada because buying Greenland is funny. It is funny, yeah. But there must be, I wonder if he's pulling a Chinese move and there's a resource in Greenland that we don't know about yet, and then we're going to own something that we really need in 20 years.

You want to hear something? We could do another episode on it, but I'll just do a little sneak preview here. Yeah. At some point, Greenland was offered to the Zionists for how much less problems would we have if that was just called Frisbyland. If it just instead of the Middle East, they put them in Greenland. But you know what it was? You know the Jews? They went there and they went, Are you kidding me? This is way too cold. I am not dealing with this. The weather's horrible. I went there. It's not like Florida. The place we got to go has got to be like Florida. I can't deal with this weather. We haven't figured it out.

How is How are you going to get to his appointments on the ice?

He can't get there. It's too cold outside. It's too depressing. It's a whole thing. There's no Chinese there for the restaurants on Christmas, and I'm just not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. He's not going to do it.

That's all. It's what it is.

But how much better would things be?

When did they offer them Greenland?

At the same time, it was offered as one of the places they could... There was another place in Africa they want to went. I mean, why? It's just because of the weather. They go, Look, we haven't figured out the way yet to control the weather. Now they're looking back and they go, We probably should have went to Greenland because we could have controlled it. We could have made more sun happen with our space lasers. Yeah, it is. But that's a real thing. We should probably do it.

We'll do an episode on that. We'll do an episode on that because we're going to do a Patreon on a wild guy. What's that guy's name? Oh, the guy that you sent me. Hold on. This is who we're going to do. Well, maybe we do a full episode on him. We should do a full episode on him.

Because those guys are fun.

The Patreon is either going to be about this guy, Nicaratras, who talked open shit to the Muslims back in the day. I mean, wild things to say.

You're probably right. That should probably go on the Patreon. Let's go on the paycheck.

Let's go on the paycheck because he's outwardly taking Muhammad's name in vain, which you cannot do. You will get killed for that.

The Greek guy. Yeah, during the revolution.

Or if our Joe Rogan episode is out, we're going to do a play by play of the Joe Rogan episode because a lot of stuff happened behind the scenes and during the show that got wild that we just can't say on YouTube because if he hears it, he's never going to invite us back on.

That's right. That's right. We'll figure that out. But either way, it's going to be, as Chris would say, a fun, fun, fun time.

Fun, fun, fun time. We're going to continue this puppy at ptron. Com/historyineers right now. Yeah. All right, folks, if you went to ptron. Com, We're going to read your name. Again, winner of the funiest name gets the PPW, Ppnuts of the Week. Welcome to the Matriarchy. These are our new members, Daniel Stevenson, Jacob Stein, Bo Asberger, Chris Whitmer, Andy P, Gringo, Andrew Dunning, Matthew Bullard. Then we got when the glue hits your eye like a piece by your thigh, that's fumare.Put them on the list.That's on the list. We have one that just got catapulted onto the list.

Shout out to Gringo for a chicken finger. That's it.

Then we got Tampa's Finest Steakhouse, Glory Hole.Drexler.Drexler..

Really good one.

Drexler means you were close, you didn't make it. Then we got Foley's Ozempic needle.

Very good Drexler.

Vaseline Vasile, the $3 Billy. Vaseline Vasili, the $3 Billy. Sorry.

Damn. These are three good Drexlers in a row.

Jacked Doughboy. Then we got Omar Ghafor. Then we got Shlomi. I only paid for the $5 tier due to my religious beliefs, Goldstein.

Put them on the list for the funny Back to Back.

Then we got Palestinian parking lot attendant.

Drexler, good one. Drexler, but that's interesting.

We got an Israeli, a Jew, and a Palestine. Back to back. Back to back. They're interesting. They're always at war. We bring everyone together. That's it. Beautiful.

Through comedy.

Then we got Doc, Chase Nemoth, Darnell Hawkins. Then we got Finuki Cookie.

That's Chicken Finger. Chicken Finger.

Then we got Jose Angel Valdez. Then we got Jerry Colonel Jews.

Drexler.

Anthony, Nikita Jardim, Marissa, Jake Morgan. Then we got Jewish Community Center, Memphis.Okay.Okay..

That could be screwed in.

Okay. Then we got Glue Gun leans to the left, but not to political views. Leave the statues alone.Licks. Yeah, I mean, that was a good one. Then we got Throat Clogger, LLC.

That's a chicken finger and a Drexler. Yeah. Very Very funny.

Andrew, Colin Davis. Then we got Crumb Cakes.Chicken figure.Yeah. Then we got Kevin Mitchell. Then we got Pete Deep in My Buttochage.Okay.Okay..

Okay, Drexler.

Then we got Blake Harve. Then we got Salvo, Tano's Downstairs Neighborbour, Jesus Christ is loud. It's loud? Okay. I don't know what that means. Okay. Johnny Clemens. Then we got Pish Gadeels on Wheel. Okay. Chris Reddigan. Then we got, I can't read this one. That's their name.

It's inventive Drexler. It's funny. Drexler, for just the funny of that. Yeah. Invention.

Then we got Chris Ackerman. Then we got Bobby Lee's Homemade Prolapse noodles.

Drexler.

Then we got My ex had a mean, not mean, ladder 14 piece inside of her when I walked in. It's just what it is.

He walked in with his check, begging a black guy. It's what it is.Put them on the list.It's on the list. The vibe scheme and just... Yeah.

Then we got Lil Squeak, Benjamin, Brandon Wong, Tempol. Lil Squeak gets a chicken figure. Lil Squeak, chicken figure.

Because that's a double double. He's a real small guy. I like that.

Then we got Weyshawn Shanean-Gillis. Good one. Weyshawn Shanean-Gillis. Nice. Drexler. Then we got P. Ditty, the Baby Oil Fiend, trying to make a Puerto Rican cream.

Drexler.

Chips Malloy, JK, B-Stands 94, Jaden Dukich, Brett Jordan, Joe Biden, Jason, Giovanni Daza, Amala Harris. We've had that. Daniel LeBron, Vinnie Spisale.

Vinnie Spisale. How are you doing? My family's got a plumbing company. What it is.

Then we got Daniel Campana, Mace.

Can we do a Sauce Monkey Award? Just a shout out? Yeah. Sauce Monkey Award goes to you.

Daniel Campana, yeah. No, the other guy. Vinnie Spisale.

Yeah, Vinnie Spisale wins the Sauce Monkey Award.

Yeah, you went. Just being a greaseball.

We'll have a Pollack Award, a Jew Award, and a Sauce Monkey Award for regular names that just deserve a shot out.

Then we got Mace, Binavi. He put the Indian flag. Then we got Louis Boyd, Stinky McPoopoos, Cracking open and cleaning out my shame Cave. Shame Cave. Interesting. Then we got Jacob, The Bargazzi episode is wild and doesn't get talked about enough. Cansco.

Yeah, that was a contentious episode.

I don't remember that one.

You weren't there for that one. It was just me and Nate.

Okay. It got wild?

Yeah. Me and him were old friends. Is this recent? No, this was a long time ago. This is when he was starting to Bob. But make no mistake, if we had him on again, the episode would not be that way. It would be like, Nate.

Yeah, hi.

No, he's still a good friend.

Jeff, KG, Brian Ailing, Zack Safe, Kyle Jacobson, Chrissy Seaman demon, Joe Gonzales, Cutler Finch, Abby, Jeffrey Mason, Shaivari, Brandon Victor, Someone Get Me a Blue Chew, Chrissy, Kiss Me in Poughkeepsie and Say That You Miss Me.List.List?List..

You list.

Got it. Cal Anderson, Jackson Schumacher, Madison M, Carson Quinn, J-Dog 14, Kulter Kamlowski, Blue Chew Benny, Father Bill's Homemade Cock Rocket.

Blue Chew, Benny. That's right. Those are two chicken figures. Okay.

Sara Zatar, SV1, Situation with the Father Bill. 3-second Pomp, Glue Gun Dump, S-L-O-K-S. Joe Smith, Dylan Bonfield, Making Chrissy Bussy Lucy Until It's Nancy Pelusi.

Okay. It's a good attempt. It's a good attempt. Yeah.

Aria Gozal, Ike Duffy, Billy Garcia, Gonzalo Munoz. Then we got Beat My Meat, Tiani P.'s feet in 16th Chapel.Drexler.Drexler. Louis Perez. Then we got Tom, My Skin Flutes, Smels Like Christie's Poopshoot, Homen.

Drexler. Okay, got close. Drexler, close.

We got Fum so bad, the Führer called for tips.

Drexler.

Then we got Christie D.Fat Twinkie Matina Demetis, Zack Zephanoff, Brian Hamilton, Christine Asencio. Then we got Mommy says Stabi's Baby is My New Daddy. Then we got married a girl with a big ass and no rack so I could pretend it's Chrissy D. When I hit it from the back, it's what it is.

Yeah, Liz. Yeah, Liz. Okay, you're on. Yeah. No clear contenders yet. Not yet, which is good.

Andres Aspoulond, Lick Pachoni, Cucker Spaniel.

That's a chicken finger. Yes.

Then we got Then we got Akash sing's spin-off show, The Fragrant Podcast.

If he was Asian, it would- It would have been. Yeah.

South Asian. Yeah. Because the Indians, I suppose, the sters that they smell. He's fragrant, right? Yeah.

Put him on the list. Yeah. You have to think about it. Yeah. Whoa, that's a goody. Now we got a contender.

Then we got Seth Nuttle. Then we got Gage, the Ginger with a not-so-big Wiena, Garfield Lasagna, Eric Junkman, East Harlem Drunk Driver, Wardo. Then we got 90% WAP, 10% Clean Ass.

That's a great I can figure it.

Then we got Cum, Cusla Lynn-Harris, Victor Seek. Then we got Montenegro, Cutie with fumes, so broody, they can take use physically with ladder 14, Off My Bootie.

I just want to say to you, Jessimala, Cacemala.

Josh Yaka.

.

Alessandro Lucalano, Willem, Noah Gihan, German Jani, but I tell people I'm Hungarian. Nicholas David, Kashmir, Cameron, Amanda, Philly Dilly, Licky My Willey. Kevin Weiss, Trent, Mark Forkosh, Thomas Leake Jr. Jorge. Okay, walked into one. Walked into one, sorry.

Yeah, walked into one. Yeah, security. Sorry about that. Security.

Brad Bertha, Hot Tuna, Esteban Esqueda, Rob Baker, Jake Haddon, Conrad, Marco, took you FF's long enough, Rodriguez, Shane's Reddit account, whatever happened to the love sack, Justin. Good question. Yeah, I I actually gave it to Otis. Otis has it. Jack Maguire.

You want to put a black light on that thing?

Yeah, it's crazy. When me and Jasmine got back together, that was the first thing that got moved.

She said, This is out of here. Yeah, There's a lot of talk of things that happened on that.

Yep, can't have it. What can you do? Josh Holtz, nick, nick Jacobs, Michael DeCaro, Aaron Hipp, AI, Joshua Winters, Adam Starlina, Zachary Story, Mark S. Odel, Saul We, not Saw We.

Okay. Okay, walked into one. Yeah. Well, we just did a whole episode. Yes, that's what it is.

It's a chicken figure. It's a chicken figure. Then we got fat cuck in need of Jessie's Fingers.

List.

List. Buddy, the actor. Jessie likes to sculpt fat people. Yeah, list. Then we got Céline Rodriguez. Then we got Tyler, Welcome back, cuzies.Thank you.Thank you. James Byrne, Chad Rosenbloom, Jacob Gill, Daniel Tambini, Hunter Good, Colin Coyle, Renee Boyle, Jimmy Jeter, Lost Child, Sab, Daddy's Been a Bad Girl. Phil B, Brandon Williams, Joe McGreedy, Stevie Punjebs, Alejandro García, Sam Oxley Burns. Matt Misjudgmental, Sammie Sauce Monkey, Gabriel Solorio.

Welcome, guys. Welcome. Straight to the backs. A lot of straight to the backs. I like that.

Then we got Gabriel Torres, AI Rodas, Chrissy Cum Slut. Then we got Which Hazel in My Bagel.Chicken Finger.Chicken Finger. Jay. Then we got My Bull Moose Knuckle Wants Chrissy Pompas Butthole. Jason Minning, Harley Coats, Hillary C. And Donny T. Had a Kid, It was me. Lata 14. Adam Lizzaro, Canned Caden Ducket. Okay. Amy Mandriesk. Kirsten Nothing. Kirsten Nothing. Brad Clauer. Yannis Kamalto Harris is showing. Kamalto. We spelled it like Kamala. Okay. Ty Tang, Eric Erickson, Shane, ABP, Chico Bendito, Robert Newman, Andrew, not a fan of Yanni Unions, Carnegie?

Not a fan of Unions. Okay. Okay.

Bruce Gill. Then we got Fumari Cooper, wide receiver for the Buffalo $3 bills.Drexler.Drexler. Strong Drexler. Then we got Rub your Frank on my beans before you crack me open.Chicken finger.Tiger. Then we got George Washi, had no party, but he had sleeve teeth. But he had slave teeth. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Close. Harry D. Kirt P. Stiff Pecker, 69. Brian Mac. Matt. Okay, we'll do a few more. Oliver Nabavian. Kamalod Harris, Matt Buckley.

Wait, Kamalod Harris is good.

Let's just get chicken figure. Okay, chicken figure. Kamalod Harris. The Dale. Then we got Michie Whitebean Benitez. Then we got Thought I was Italian, but 23andMe said I was Leroy.

Wow, that's tough for the family.For Italian?Yeah.

Then we got Daniel D. Lewis. Then we got Elon's population paste, Will Save the Martian Race. Okay. Population Paste is good. Jay Drexler. Okay. Okay, walked in the one. Security. Security. Sorry about that. Yeah, walked in the one. Then we got Joe Biden's shower drain.

Funny chicken finger.

Blake Weinstein, Band Twist. Then we got Frank Cyprian.

Wait, right there, you got the Frisby Award.

Blake Weinstein. Blake Weinstein got the Frisby Award. Ben twice, Frank Cyprian, Ethan Oja, Kurt Whitman, Matthew Jamieson, Zack Massey, Matthew Griner. Then we got Albanian Grimreaper, deeper into Christie D's anal zipper. Josh Peck, Michael Sheehan, Chris Papa's voting ballot. Ben Hickman, Graham Marsh, Daniel Finnan, Kyle straight to the back. How about Come on my back?

Drexler. Drexler.

Matthew Carpenter, Samantha Matthew McMoruni, Chris, Jack Ruby. Oh, wow. Jack Ruby, killer. Back from the dead. Nico Ruiz, Dave, Noemi Sotto, Ben Schnar. Then we got Fumar, the Frisby, Zuckerberg. John C. Dempsey, Kristen Escarga, Samuel Marshall, Skyler Olivevarez, Lou G, Raphie DeSuzza, Franken, Logan Negli, Mike Izzy, Kristen Belsky. Then we got Vivek Ramsoami, Offends Amy Hammer's Mommy. Army Hammer's Mommy. Shit, sorry. Watching Laserbeam Drag Race, like an FF. Chrissy lets Lincoln do it in the Buttoch Edge. Dustin Morris. Then we got Uncle Russell's Pussy.Put him on the list.Put him on the list because it's a cat It's a... Okay.

Put it on the list. That pussy has two... Yeah, it's a double entendre. Double entendre, and we got a contender. Yeah.

Milkman, then we got full-time follower. They walked in a one. That's it, yeah. Tim Dylan's Dregsler. Alex Perez, Jonathan Osorio, Justin Ferrara, James Fusili-Jerri, Colleen O'Reilly, Sid, and then, let's see. Okay, let Just read these. Then we got Father Bill made me sound like RFK Jr. I feel like we had that one.

We had a better version of that. Who almost won last week.

Then we got Looking like misters, the Menendez Sister's, Given My Dick Blisters from given it twisters.

Drexler, good, though. Okay.

Tim Dylan's calling me. Yeah. Then we got told Stefano, the barber, give me the Christie, and I walked out of Panash, speaking German. It's what it is.

Well, he remembers Panash. Panash.

Father Bill, seeing Yannis Ween, and Christie She's Bean. Ladder 14.

Good rhyme scheme, Drexler.

Then we got Lad of 14, Underwhelm Her Glue Gun, My Own Face, I'm Elmer. Then we got Baddie with the bald cap. Then we got Twink for the Table, Save My Wishbone for the kids. It's what it is.

Drexler.

Then we got All Balls, Tim Walls, Micro Glue Gun. Then we got Tampa Tony's Leftover Tuna Sandwich.

It's a good one. Chicken figure.

Then we got the 2-inch Clit Sex Monkey. Drexler. Then we got Barron von Fuckenstein.Chicken Figure. Then we got Anthony, One-E eighth, Gynzo, Acrofresca.Chicken Figure. Then we got January sixth was a character piece, Latin 14. Then we got Come to Australia already, Christie D,FF. Then we got Pete, I like it deep in the booty fudge. Then we got Iron Ranchab, Jordan, Esteban. Then we got Chrissy, Super Sperm, spawned the situation. Then we got Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. Then we got- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Uncle Tashi's puzzle basement.

What does that mean? That means that the pedophile uncle's got a game room for the kids. Hey, what do we think? We're going to put him on the list. Okay. Yeah. Yes.

Then we got Chrissy Bitchet.

Dare I say contender.

Then we got Chrissy Bitchet. Here we got a contender for the Italian Sauce Monkey Award, Ricky Ravioli.

Yeah, there you go. Runner up.

Vanilla Thunder. Then we got banged out $3, Father Bill. Chris Schroeder. A-o, Let me see your asshole, Leroy.

Drexler.

Jesse Hart, Ryan Young. Then we got Matt, Half-White, Half-Mexican, Full-Blown Aids.

Drexler.

Drexler. Drexler. Okay. Good funny Drexler. Good funny Drexler. Okay, so here's the list. Here's what we have to go to for the list. We have- Let me just say this. We have no true contender right now.

No true contenders, really. I got to say, compared to previous I don't mean to insult anyone, but this one didn't bring the heat because there's no clear contenders. No clear contenders. Which can be fun.

There was none of them that really stopped by all. But thank you for good efforts. By the way, you could also always go back and change your name. I believe you can.

Yeah, and like my dad used to say, no showstoppers. No showstoppers.

But that's okay.

That's okay.

That's okay because, hey, we go up, we go down. It's life's a roller coaster, folks.

Well, this makes the competition fun. Yes, it's what it is. Because a lot of times you just know who's going to win.

Yeah. Okay, so we got Uncle Tachi's puzzle basement. Contender. Still in the The Race. Okay, I'm circling him still in the race. Contender. Okay, then we got Uncle Russell's Pussy. Contender. Contender. So he is being circled as right now. Then we have... Okay. Then we have Fat Cuck in need of Jessie's Fingers.

I'm going to direct slur it.

Okay, so they're out. Yeah. Okay, so then we got Kiss Me in Poughipsy and Say That You Miss Me.

I love that one, but I'm going to direct. They're out. Yeah.

Then we got Akash sing, spin-off show, The Fragrant Podcast.

Contender.

Contender, so we're circling them. Yes. Then we got Married a Girl with a Big Ass and no Rags, so I could pretend it's Chrissy D. When I hit it from the back, it's what it is. Any other day. Any other day. So they are out. So we got here. Then we have When the Glue Hits your eye like a Pizza pie by your thigh, that's Fumare.

I hate to do it because that is a goody, but Drexler.

They're out. Okay. Sorry about that. Then we got Schlomi, I only paid for the $5 tier due to my religious beliefs, Goldstein.

Hilarious, but it's being Drexlered. It's out.

Then we got Glue Gun to the left, but not to political views, leave the statues alone.

Drexler. It's truly on any other day. But there are some good ones here.

Yeah, but then we had my ex had a mean, not mean, ladder 14, piece inside of her. When I walked in, it's just what it is.

It's just It is what it is that happens. You be a Drexler, but on any other day, I get another good one.

Okay, we know what the contenders are. It is between these three, Akash sing's spinoff show, The Fragrant Podcast, Uncle Russell's Pussy, or Uncle Tuchy's Puzzled Basement.

Okay, I'm going to Drexler, Akash.

Okay, so you're out, Akash. Now it is between Uncle Russell's Pussy and Uncle Touchy's Puzzled Basement.

All right, I got a clear-cut winner here. Okay. Okay. I want to give a shout out to Uncle Russell's Pussy for the double Tandra. Yeah. I do. Okay. But the puzzle basement is just very inventive. Okay. For me, it's Puzzled Basement. Jesse, Puzzled Basement. Yes, Puzzled Basement.

Congratulations to the PPW. You can see your name at historyhienasisback. Com. Uncle Tuchy's Puzzle Basement. Thank you so much. Come see us January 18th. Live show, Washington, DC, Lincoln Theater. Go to historyhienesisback. Com for those Ticky Wickeys.

Yeah, and go to janispapiscomedy. Com for dates coming up in Cleveland in Chicago, in Philadelphia, in Missouri, and whatever else is up there, janispapiscomedy.

Com. Your dates are also up at historyofhijienesisback. Com. That's right. You can go to that one as well.

Make it easy. Go get the January 18th and go get whatever you want.

That's what it is, folks. I will be in San Francisco in February, and then we've added Tampa and Orlando in March, and then Tampa, Orlando, March 14th, 15th, then March 30th, Providence, Rhode Island, all those shows at History of Hijienesisienasisback. Com or christiecomedy. Com. We love you.