Transcript of Doc Willis ain't paying your bills! | Whiskey Ginger

Hey, Whisky Ginger fans. I am on tour. Come see your boy. Circling around, I've had a great time so far. Indianapolis and Kansas City and all those spots were so fun. What a great time I had on the road. And now, this weekend, I'm in Cleveland. I'm in Believeland, baby. Then I go to Elizabeth, Indiana, which is right outside of Louisville. Louisville, come see your boy. Then I go to St. Louis. After St. Louis, I take a little bit of time off. I head to Grand Rapids, Detroit. Then I'm gone, pretty much a whole month of November, down in Australia with bad friends, mate. Then when I come back, I'm everywhere. I'm in New Orleans, I'm in Chicago. I do San Diego, we added a show, San Francisco, we added a show, Minnesota, we added a show, Boston, we added a show, New York, Philly, we're everywhere. Come see me at AndrewSantino. Com. Once again, that's andresantino. Com.

In here, we pour a whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk Like vampire, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger.

I like gingers. Ladies, gentlemen, welcome back to Whisky Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's my boy. It's Doc Willis. Hell, yeah. All right. Tell me, I said, why haven't you eaten? Because it's 2:00 PM in the afternoon.

I said because I got this little ritual that I do to my great aunt because she used to fucking... But not fucking, she still do it. She eats muffins and coffee in the morning. And I was like, what? You don't do breakfast? She was like, Fuck, bacon and eggs. She's a G like that.

So just muffins and coffee?

Yeah. That's what she have every morning.

Every single morning. How old is she?

102. Shut up. No, no bullshit. 102? Yeah. You know who else eat worse than that every morning?

Warren Buffet. Mcdonald's. Yeah.

He has- He's an egg McMuffin. Yeah. And if he have a good day, he has the combo or two of them.

He says if the stock market is up, he has a sausage egg McMuffin. If the stock market is down, he has a regular egg McMuffin. Exactly. No meat. Yeah. Yeah. He's a money tarian.

He was drinking Are you drinking five cans of Coke every day.

He drinks Coke every day. Bro. Yeah, but this doesn't work for everybody.

But most people I know it do. Okay. Because you know- I get it.

In the hood, they don't- In the hood, they don't deserve... They're not on that They're not on the new diet plans in The hood?

No. Well, here's the thing about The hood, too, though. Because we don't really get a chance to go out and eat at restaurants like that, we cook a lot at home.

Yeah. You cook more than you go. But that's not just The hood. Anybody that doesn't have... My wife's parents, they never go out to eat unless we're in town and we say, let's go out to, if there's a restaurant, but they live out deep and they don't They never go out. They cook at home every meal, and then once a month, maybe they go somewhere. Yeah. Once a month? Fuck. It's money, and then it's also convenience. They live deep out. They don't live near a bunch of restaurants. Yeah. But money is a part of it, too, in the sense that it's a waste of money to go out. You know what I mean? It's a rip off. But you're not in the hood anymore, bro. You're fancy. Everybody knows. Ever since Doc left Bad Friends, he moved to the hills, to the Hollywood Hills. He bought a mansion. He bought a mansion.

I'm over here not struggling, but I'm doing okay. But it's like, fuck.

You're doing good. You're doing real good.

For a single guy, perfect.

Are you still Are you still over at Amazon? What are you doing?

No. You're out? Yeah, because they switched the position. And then they asked me, oh, we got to transfer you or you got to stay here and take less hours. And I'm like, oh, fuck that amount.

Gone.

Yeah. So I just said, I'll just figure it out because I didn't I want to go into, like before, a full-time schedule. And the job I had before was not only was it flexible, but I can just do what I wanted to do as far as scheduling.

And come and go whenever you want. Exactly. That is interesting. So what are you up to now? You're still doing stand-up and you're running around. We haven't seen you. The fans want to know what you've been doing. I see you sneak over to 7 Nekis and do some bullshit shows with those guys once in a while. Don't be like that.

I hate it.

I'm a big hater, dude. I'm a big hater. Don't be like that. What are you doing then outside? You're doing stand Still doing stand-up?

Yes, still doing stand-up. Matter of fact, I'm going to go to New York in October because I haven't been there since COVID.

To stay?

No. I was going to move out there. I was trying to transfer from Amazon to one of their places out there, but come to find out they were reducing hours at the place where I tried to go to.

Are they paying less, too, or no? It's the same pay.

They're paying the same money. Not only that, they was giving out a bonus, like an extra 2,000 after 30 days because of the inconvenience of getting rid of my position. Relocation. Yeah, and then another six months After that, they were going to give me another 2,000, and they would give me a relocation check. So I was like, Oh, man, let me jump on this right here.

Why didn't you do it?

Because I couldn't find nothing that was feasible for me out there.

You mean housing?

No, meaning schedule-wise.

Scheduling and trying to do...

If I move to New York, I don't want nothing in the way of night time having to get on stage. Out there, they already got the best shifts. So I would have I had to either take the night shift or the graveyard shifts or the... And I can't do the graveyard.

What's a graveyard?

Midnight to five? Midnight to seven, eight in the morning. Yeah. So Most of theirs was like 10, 9, 4 or beyond. So it was like, nah. Even though you get two or three days off, I still was just like, nah. Because if I moved to New York, I really want to make sure that I can just boom. And the position I had now, if I could have transferred or had them, if I could have transferred, then I would have been able to just do it the way I wanted to do it, getting the right amount of hours, been able to make sure I make rent on time and not go on my little savings I got. You know what I mean? So I just was like, all right.

You got any gold bars? What's in your savings? You got any gold?

No, you.

You got to have gold. You got a lot of gold? You know a gold bar just hit a million dollars for the first time? What? Gold bars just hit a million dollars for one gold bar. No, I had no idea. The highest value it's ever had in history.

I was listening to Neil was talking about. The one time when we was in his room and he was talking about doing his room over there, he was talking about having gold bars. And he had said, I got a little gold. And he has to do it in a bit. So I don't know how true it is, for how much he has, rather.

Well, he probably does have gold. Yeah. Yeah. That's Shapel show money. They paid them in gold for the first season.

But what's interesting is digital isn't based on gold.

So I'm wondering if- Oh, because you're Bitcoin, huh? You got all that shit. You don't have any of that shit?

No, but it seems like that's the way that The government is trying or wanting to move.

I don't know. The Fed can't control it. So I think that's scary for them. I think it's too sketchy, all that digital money. They have no control over it. If they can't control it, I don't think they're going to let it go.

Well, they'll be able to control it if it's They're a digital.

Yeah, but it's not. It's an open market. It's unregulated. That's why it's so volatile. I lost money. I lost money. On what? On Bitcoin. I lost some money, bro. You've been, holy shit. A buddy of mine got me into it.

He sunk me hard. Man, the motherfucking four-trex.

I did it one time, and then I was like, that's it. I'm never doing that again.

Man, in them four-trex people that was hit me off, I was going to ignore all that shit. I got smoked. I got smoked. My little brother was into that. Now, he's out of that because he wasn't profitable in that. And now, because he learned a little bit about digital trading, he started learning for the past couple of years dealing with stocks. Now, he's dealing strictly with stocks and going back and forth and trading with stocks. Oh, that's huge. Yeah. He's animal with it. He's like, Warren was when I talk to him. You're like, Buffett was or is, was. Where he would wake up every morning just in the paper. That's him. He's in the paper. He's constantly looking at the points and everything.

You can make good money in the stock market.

Yeah. If he can lead them, Escorts alone.

Yeah, but that's supporting the economy as well. Yeah, it is. This thing is everything equals out.

Yeah, but you can't put that shit on your taxi. You think the best course is like?

That's not a write off?

I just pulled it a little bit.

Is Ted Really? These are old chairs. Don't shit in these chairs, please. They got sweat pants on. It'll stick. It's all right.

Why would you let me let you know in case it lingers over to me?

If it gets to me, he laughed so hard. You're shitting over there?

Yeah.

Is he into that, Escorts? Are you into that lifestyle? Hell, no. Never.

Well, remember when I was on the streets? Yeah.

Move this so that you don't have to. Yeah.

So I wanted to be.

What? When you were in the streets, you had a... Oh, yeah. Well, you were a pimp, right?

Yeah. Not a pimp. I was a drug dealer.

What's the difference?

The pimp is a person that- Yeah, you own women.

You own women.

No, we didn't own no women. We had our little, they called them Gucci Girls, and they had their own little gang, but we didn't own them.

You didn't make them get in the streets and earn money.

No, because Listen, man, Bishop Don Juan is like a rarity. There's no super money into that because it's not legal. And to have a brothel, it's too much of a location where you would have to have You got to keep moving. So to put them on the streets, I'm fucking Zane. You know what I'm saying? I got crackheads. I can get blow jobs for $10. I don't need... And this is the '80s when they first started. You know what I mean? They was really good-looking. They wasn't fucking pooky From New Jack City. They was in the beginning of their phase. And then you're a teenager. I was getting it in out there.

Yeah. Having a good time. Yeah.

That was the only time, though, where- Did you ever get burned? No. Because I always work hard. Mostly, I was getting them gummies. You know what I'm talking about, them gum jobs. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, bro. Good for you. Not to celebrate it, though. No, you should. Gummies, you can celebrate, though.

How come pimps can get away with wearing ridiculous shit? Why do pimps have to wear ridiculous shit?

Fashion is fashion, T.

But why wouldn't you just be a regular dressed pimp? Why wouldn't you be a pimp that dressed like you? Why do you have to wear some wild shit?

They are pretty much.

To be honest with you- They're peacocking.

Most of them don't dress like that. That's just a bit of down one. They don't dress like that in Detroit. They look like you and me. Right. They're out there just giving hell out on them streets. You know what I mean? Because sometimes it is, though, that there are drug dealers that also have prostitution. Women. Yeah. They have both. You know what I'm saying? So if she got a brain of money and he out there selling dope, too, or got people selling dope for him, and he's controlling both. Right. He's like Microsoft. He got subdivisions.

Just like Microsoft, though. Yeah.

He fucking Bill Gates of the fucking streets. Yeah.

So what are you doing now outside of stand-up? Are you working? You got a little gig or no? No. I just made me do nothing right now.

I just said I got the little money saved. You're good? Yeah. I'm going to kick back for a minute. I said, Well, maybe I'll try to get some things going and in between.

On your own time? Yeah. What's up with the ladies?

Single.

Girls?

They give them a finger point. They're weird ass creepy. Yeah.

Give me your stats.

Single. Single. I actually had one that I was... But she's too materialistic.

She wanted stuff. She said, buy me shit.

Because she felt like I should be spoiling her with flowers and gifts. And that's what a guy does if he really likes you. Really? Yeah, that's how they are now. I didn't know. And then she was... She's 29. So it was like, man, it was rough because I was like... I was Very hesitant with that. But then it just was like, at the same time, she had that side of her, too. So you got the age. I was against the age, and she was trying to show me that she was into me. And I said, okay, well, let's see where it goes. But she was like, if you really want to... And I said, it sounds like you're trying to have a trick. I'm not a fucking...

She was trying to fool you. Where did you meet her? On an app?

On Instagram.

Instagram, baby. She came and got you, huh? Yeah.

I don't like to even fuck around with chips on Instagram. You know what I'm saying? Because I had a situation where I met a chick that way. And instead of exchanging numbers on the ground, I was like, You know what? Fuck this. Let's go to WhatsApp.

Go to WhatsApp? Yeah. Whatsapp. Why WhatsApp? Is she from international?

Because you don't exchange your phone numbers or anything. So you can talk on there. Because this was pre-Instagram phone calling. This was before using it. So you wanted to have your number. The feature was there on the ground, but I wanted to just do it on WhatsApp instead of through... Because Instagram is personal to me a little bit. It's not personal to where I use it constantly because you see, I don't really put it.

You're never on Yeah.

So it's like- Once every six months, you put some shit up.

Yeah.

It's just like whatever little thing I do, I'll throw it up there. That's it. So I was like, let's just do WhatsApp. Because WhatsApp is like the garbage can of... It's like the dark web of fucking meetups.

Is it really? Yeah. To me. I thought WhatsApp was only used for international. Whenever I'm overseas, all the Europeans, they want to hit you on WhatsApp. And I was always like, why not just iPhone? If you have an iPhone, you don't have an iPhone.

I got an iPhone.

You do? Yeah. I don't get it because then you just use iMessage. But WhatsApp is your phone number, too. It's still your phone number.

Yeah, but they don't have it. They don't get to get to your phone. Really? Yeah. They don't have access to your phone. I didn't know. They just have. So it's like, okay. But they can call you through the app.

The app will call you, not your phone number.

Yeah, the app will call you. Exactly.

So Materialistic Girl, WhatsApp me.

Yeah.

What did she want you to buy her?

I'm going to show you what happened with her. Oh, which one? The one from Miami or the one- Shit, I don't know.

Okay. My God.

No, but okay. So let's talk about this. So she was like, oh, okay. It started with us just really having a good time. Then we start FaceTime and video chatting through the WhatsApp app. We're having a good time. Going back and forth. And then after about a month, month and a half, she started talking about bills.

Bills? Yeah. Mama, phone bills high. Yeah.

Fuck it. They're just throwing out those. Yeah, it's too bad. Bye. I was like, okay, well, God bless you, hopefully. I'll pray Or you throw a little prayer. Hopefully, you can get that taken.

You know what I mean? Jesus. Pay these bills.

And he will. So then it was like, I said, Okay, this is going good. And then she- Did you pay any bills? Never.

Doc?

Never. Not one? Never. I bought her a check some feelers before for a little bit of ass. This was back in the day, though.

I buy a bit some feelers for some ass.

Yeah, I done that before. That was back in the day.

But outside of that, no. No.

Because for what? I mean, if you get women that like you, you don't need to. For what? I mean, it's like that when you're going out with them and spending any way going on dates and kicking them.

Yeah. You're going to be spending money somehow.

But when they ask for an object of desire, that's prostitution, really. You know what I'm saying? Like that, she was like, You give me some feelers so we can fuck. And I was like, To the more I go. A little foot action? Yeah.

You have feelers in stock? Yeah. I'm on my way.

Yeah. She's bad, too. So I'm like, All right, I got these for you. So did that. But anyway, so it went from that to all of a sudden. Now, normally when she would call me, phone would be her hand. Talking back and forth, Look what an outfit I got on. Oh, you're looking good. I'm not going to tell my girl. I don't care. I don't care mom. And then this time, she calls me and the phone is set up on something. It's not a computer. You can see. I'm like, what?

It's on a stand.

Like on a stand because she's sitting at her dining room table, which she always called me from the table, but it was this time it was different. I said, Oh, sorry. I saw some bullshit about to pop up. My fucking street sense. It's a little spiny sense. Are you tinkling? Yeah, I was tinkling like a motherfucker. Yeah, I'm sitting over there like, Oh, something wrong. And then she had the long face. Hi. And I'm like, Hi. How are you? You okay? What's going on? Somebody died? Well, remember, I've been talking to you for the past couple months or three months, whatever, about certain bills, and a couple of them have gotten behind, and I need about $400, and I really need your help. And I was like, Man, listen, we ain't even dated yet. We haven't even seen face to face.

You never met up?

Yeah, we never met up. No. That's a pass. So I was like, Yeah. I was like, no. She said, What if you want to be something to you? You got to show me that you're serious and that you're real. You got to come after me. And I said, By giving you $400? I don't even fucking know you like that. And then so all while she's talking to me, she doesn't realize that there's a man shadow that's going across the floor.

Oh, no way.

Yeah. They're standing behind the camera. So I look and I see the shadow on the floor. So I just don't say nothing. I'm just going there. I'm just beating in like, I can't do it. And I said, then I got quiet. And she's like, What's wrong? I said, And the street is kicking in on me. I'm going to get a little uncomfortable. I'm for you all in case you all be like, what the fuck? But I got quiet and I looked at her. I said, Bitch, what do you think this is? You think this is a joke? You think I don't know this is a fucking scam, bitch? Like that. And she goes, What? Why are you talking to me like this? I wouldn't do no scam on you. What are you talking about? I said, Bitch, I saw crack heroine, been on the streets, been in jail for different... Bitch, I know a motherfucking scam when I see one. And then she goes, What are you talking about? I said, Turn and look to your right on the floor. There's a man's shadow right there, and he's standing behind a goddamn camera, bitch. And then she looks, she goes, Oh, and then you could see the guy's shadow and his hands fell.

I'm like, Hang up, bitch. Hang up the And I'm like, Man, then I just start going, Bitch, you're wasting my goddamn time. Three months of this shit, and you up here scamming. And she said, I'm so sorry. You're a good man. And I shouldn't ever did it. You know what? I'm sorry. Bye. And he hung up the goddamn phone. Damn. And that was it. Yeah. So when it comes to meeting women on any social media, I don't- That's a cautionary tale.

Yes. Yeah, but luckily, you didn't get scammed. People get scammed all the time. Yes. Or some people are looking to get scammed. Yes. You know, some guys go on those sugar sites. They know they're going to get scammed. They know they're going to get scammed. And they do it anyway.

And then some of these women, because of how good-looking they are, you got athletes and different rappers and different politicians, rich men, they just fly them out and do whatever they want them to do. So you have that aspect. It's just expected for some of these women because they think, oh, you got to... No, you got to do like this. I'm like, no, you're not doing that.

I'm glad you didn't get caught up.

No.

You're too smart.

Man, it would never happen. It's one of those things where it's just like for me, If I get caught up, it's just because I want to.

Right. You're looking. Yeah, right. That's what I mean. Guys do look for it.

To be scammed?

Yeah, to get sunk.

You know what I mean? Well, I was watching- To get sunk on a woman.

That happens a lot. Yeah. Because sometimes you're like, whatever.

I was watching with my great aunt because she watched all these murder mysteries.

This is 102?

Yeah, 102.

She's 102.

She's 102, about to be 103 in January.

And her cognition is good? Everything she can... She's not- No. No, she's not good. It's bad.

No, it's rough. Okay. It's rough. She has dementia, so it's constant.

Does she know who you are?

A hundred %.

She knows who you are? Yeah.

Yours is like a very slow... It's a slow breakdown. I don't know what it is about hers since she's been diagnosed, way back in early 2014, '13 or whatever, she's still been great as far as memory. Some of her memory is slipping, but not of who I am. She knows exactly who I am.

Wow. My memory is bad now, and I'm 40.

I have a terrible memory, bro.

I don't remember shit.

Me and Ian was talking about that, Ian Edwards. I was telling him, I said, Man, man, I said, I don't know what's wrong. But I said, When I converse, I can't even remember certain vocabulary. It's like I have to repeat the same type of words. I said, God, I don't know what happened to me. He said, Man, that's been happening to me, too. He said, They're bothering me. And one time I called him about something, and I said, Hey, you remember? And he was like, Doc, you know my memory is just Yeah, bro.

Give me some conspiracy shit. What do you think this is? What's this coming from? Let's get in a conspiracy because I know you love them. The bad friends fans used to love it when you got in a conspiracy shit.

But the only thing I would talk about is the alien stuff. And that's not even a conspiracy. I was just giving them the information. That's just fact. Yeah, the facts.

That's all I was doing. But don't you think people's memories are slipping or life feels a little bit different post-pandemic, years later? Something's up.

Something, man. Or it's just that Also, you ever notice how now all of a sudden, don't eat too much process or ultra-process. So I'm wondering, and then you got microplastics and all of this stuff.

The microplastics is wild.

Yes, right. It's wild. So now there's this whole thing of have all of these things we've accumulated in our bodies over the years because of bad science is now having an effect on our neurosynapses and everything in the way we think and the way we act and the way our physical bodies. We're breaking down because there's a lot of unfiltered pollution in your bloodstream and it's in your different organs. And it's like, God, damn.

That sounds right to me. I don't like that. That scares the shit out of me. But that sounds right.

I try to make sure. It's like now I stop buying cases of water.

You're right. You mean plastic bottles? Bottles, yeah. Because they sit in the sun and shit.

They sit in the sun. It's not that because what the microplastics actually come from is from the manufacturing of the bottles and not being necessarily cleaned out enough or little bits and pieces.

That's why I try to do glass. Yeah, you try to- I like glass because glass can't leak.

Right.

So that glass is a safe bet.

Yeah, that was what's been spoken on. But how many places are selling big jugs of glasses of water?

No, you can't. It's hard to find. It's expensive, too. It's a ripoff.

Right. But what I did do was I did a little research on how can you lessen drinking from other sources, right? So what I learned is the bigger plastic jugs and stuff like that, most of the time they don't have a lot of microplastics, where to if you drink and consume- Individual bottle water?

Yeah.

Bunches of them being made. And there's a bunch of plastic flying around. Whereas even though the bigger jugs are being made by the case, but they're not as many as you would if you buy a bottle, a single case of water. That's what I'm understanding. I like this.

You're like Wikipedia for me.

Or you can always just... You're going to lose a lot of it during evaporation, but you can boil it. They say heating it up also helps the water. It kills germs. Yeah. And it also melts the microplastics down. It kills it down to almost 99.5% effective.

But who has got time to boil their shit?

I don't. I just be like, Fuck it. Whatever happens, I'm out of here.

Give me your great aunt. You're sitting with her. She's 102.

She's 102. So What are we talking about?

You were saying that you were... See? This was an exercise to show you that you wouldn't remember.

Microplastic. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking went... In here, we pour whiskey.

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Ginger. I like ginger.

But her cognition, you say, is not that bad. If she remembers who you are at 102, that's wild. Is she your oldest living family member?

Yes. I told her yesterday. I said, You broke the record. 102? Yeah. And I said, Yeah, on both sides of my family, I don't have anybody that I know of that lived past 90. She's like the only one.

Yeah, 90's wild. Yes. You think you'll live long?

I don't really care.

You don't give a shit? No, man.

Because when it's time to go, you're good to go.

I'm good to go. What if to go is tomorrow? It's I'm fine. You don't like that? No, not yet. I got some life left.

I just look at it, it don't have to be this bad. I don't have a wife, but you have a wife. Yeah. And then you may... And I still want to get married and have children, too, right? Sure. But by me being single and living away, I'm free. So I'm free to go whenever time is. You know what I'm saying? I just look at it like Einstein's theory of relativity in space-time, and then I look at it from a biblical perspective because they both say Einstein believed in determinism, meaning everything is and done. Then the Bible says that God predestined everything. I lived in the comfortableness of that because I look at it as, Oh, my God, I'm going to go. This is what it is.

If God says, go, you got to go.

I just hope it ain't no fucking tiger kill me. You're really like, Fuck, will you see- Bring in the tiger.

Well, dude, I read today, they were saying, According to quantum physics, death doesn't exist and may just be an Illusion. Our current way of thinking goes on to assume that the world has an objective existence independent of the observer. However, numerous experiments have suggested the opposite. There was an article that came out just recently. It's fascinating that it was the illusion of death. The belief leads us to accept the concept of death primarily because we identify ourselves with our physical bodies. But biocentrism, a theory proposed by Robert Lanza, Dr. Robert Lanza, argues, If we incorporate life and consciousness into the equation, many scientific puzzles can be explained, including why the universe appears finetuned before life. So it's a deep cut that perhaps death is just an illusion.

Well, yeah, when you look at it- We really actually don't ever die. When you look at it from the fact that also what they say about us, that they think we're in a simulation, right?

I mean, the simulation should, I believe 100 %.

When you think about if you wanted to, whether you believe or not, but just think of what they're being a creator. They're being actually a guy.

I believe in something. I don't know what it is. I couldn't put a thumb on it. But something exists.

Exactly.

I don't know. I don't think it's a guy.

Whatever it is that created the space and time.

So all of it- The space-time continuum?

Yeah, but the continuum, the problem with the continuum is, number one, it's having a lot of problems right now. With the James Webb telescope now. I love you, bro.

You know the continuum has been having a lot of problems. This continuum got me all fucked up.

Yeah, it's fucking. It's got his issues with it.

Well, because I think we're finally seeing all of our experiments come to light after all these years, and it's really fucking with us. You know what happened with what's going on in space. I know you're a space guy.

They're stuck.

And now, SpaceX has signed an agreement with the government, apparently, that they'll go up there and they can get them in this second round, but it'll take them six months to get them. Hold up.

Did you see the new article on that? The spacesuits are incompatible with the spaceship chips that SpaceX has.

What? So they got to send them up. Well, they got to send them up new shit then, right?

Yeah, they got to do it a whole other way because I guess it's something to do with the way the suits are designed versus the interior.

Of SpaceX's. Yeah. It's like, oh, my God. But it's still going to take them six months, these astromants. I didn't read the whole explanation. These astronauts are going to be still stuck for six more months, though.

Whatever it takes, I guess. Even possibly longer.

Do you even want to come back at that point?

Yeah. I don't know.

I might just say, open the door. Let me go.

Yeah, unless you get that show. That show is suicide.

Well, because I think if you've been up for that long and there was a chance you might not get back, open the hatch, dude.

Well, in the vacuum, you're definitely going, it's going to be quick. It's just like a fuck.

Like the Titanic, right?

You think, oh, that's.

Yeah. When they went to see the Titanic, you wouldn't even know you're gone. You go so fast, you don't even know. It happened beyond quick. It's quicker than quick. It's quicker than you could process. You're It's gone instantaneously. Wow. I'd rather that than a slow death or feeling it.

That's what people say, but there had to be a little bit of hearing something. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. You heard something. Yeah, like what the fuck is it?

But imagine.

Sorry. I don't mean to fuck you. No. But, you know.

No, it was a crazy journey in the first place. What were you doing down there? What were you doing down there? I want to see the Titanic. Too bad.

Same thing the UFOs be doing down there. Something.

You think the UFOs are at the bottom of the ocean?

Yeah, they say USOs. They call them USOs, unidentifier or submerge objects. You haven't seen the video?

No, you got to send me this shit. You with all this shit.

I haven't seen it.

I don't know this. You didn't see the navy when they show it. I know there's creatures in the ocean. That blow my fucking mind. I saw an ad yesterday for Pacific Life. You know the insurance company with the whale that comes out of the water, Pacific Life. You've seen it. You've seen Pacific Life Insurance. They have a big whale that jumps out of the water. That's their icon. The water, beautiful. See, See a whale. And then you go, okay, that's 100 % an alien. It's a dinosaur alien.

Shit, a squid?

And there's millions of them. I think they have no idea how many more are down there. I believe in all that shit. Well, yeah.

I mean, you got 30,000 feet. You got tremendous PSI of water once you get through so much of a PSI that whales don't... They can't go that far. That's what's interesting about space and even about the concept of God. As I was talking to somebody about that, I said, Man, that's interesting, because I was listening to Michio talk and about dimensions, right? And they are asking him what a dimension is. And he said that a dimension is this. He said when he used to go to this Japanese pond up in San Francisco, he said there was these carp with their eyes on the side of their head that swim under these lily pads, and it was a shallow pond. So he said, the carp have no way of knowing that there is another layer above them. So their only existence is they see each other and they just move in this two-dimensional way. They just move back and forth and around each other. He said, what if I reach down and grab the carp and lift it out of the water? And then he said, now the carp has experienced a new physical being. It's experiencing oxygen, a person breathing with no gills.

So it's a whole nother physical realm for... He said, That's where we are. He said, It's as if somebody's looking down on us, can reach down and just lift you out the fucking universe. I was like, Fuck God, it's real. And then it remind me of Men in Black. I even put it on this little video I had made. I said, This shit is scary as fuck. I said, Man, you shouldn't have said this shit. And then he was recently on News Nation. They've been covering a lot about UFOs now. And the guy asked him, he said, Could the aliens be our God? He goes, Wait, wait, wait. Now, that's... You know what I'm doing? I don't call him a nerd. I like Nieto, but he isn't. He's a scientist. He's like, Well, now that's two separate questions. He said, One is somebody coming here telling you that they're your guys. And he said, But the other one is the creator himself. He said, So that's two independent things. And I said, Damn. So I'm over here like, I got to go back to church, man. I've whipped open my Bible like, What is it?

Leviticus, now showing up. You know what I mean? I just look at life as... See, I forgot what he's talking about.

There's no wrong belief system. Whatever thing you believe. Do you go to church?

Can't you go to church here in LA? What do you think? Pedophiles ain't got a good belief system?

No, I'm talking about that. I'm talking about if you believe in God. Okay. I don't think any God belief is wrong. I think whatever you believe in God, whichever version of it, whatever it is. I think any version of it that you believe in is fine. If you believe in something and it gives you hope or power, substance, if it gives you joy, if it gives you something for life, it doesn't buy. I couldn't care less.

I look at God a lot different from... Because I grew up Christian, right?

Yeah.

And Baptist. And I look at God totally different because I go to all kinds of different churches.

Do you still go to church now?

When I haven't been in a while. It's been about at least five, six months or maybe even longer. It's been a long time.

Why not?

Because I've just been lazy. And then I've been working at Amazon on Sundays.

Right. And that gets in the way.

I just stopped going. So now I'm off. I'm like, I was seeing that today. I was like, Let's go to church today because before I go to the podcast. And then I was like, That's not going to happen. It didn't happen. So I just got to get myself back in the middle. But I go to church for a different reason versus everybody else. It's like church for me is more of a gathering of people that's like minded. That's all it is. It's like when we hang out, like right now, we're comedians. When we go, remember how we used to do at the Comedy Store afterwards? We would all go to either Green Matts or Norm's and sit it and eat and kick it. Same thing. It's the same thing. So you just get gathering with the people and then you're just giving praise and thanks to the divine creator. So I have a whole different concept about God. My concept of God is similar to that of Einstein and what the Bible actually teaches versus says, versus what a lot of preachers teach. It's two different. Sometimes you go to the churches or you listen people preachers talk about God, you're like, what God is he talking about?

Because that ain't- It's not the one I know.

No, because you can't talk about God and then say, God is good. God is good. God is good. And then when something evil happens, you go, well, that ain't God. And I go, What? How? What do you mean that ain't God? If God created all things time The problem is, is you're trying to judge God and say God is evil because if he's part of this, but it's God is both. So God doesn't have evil. He's just good because he controls it. That's what I mean by to God, we would be assimilation because you imagine if the space-time continuum was correct, which we know for a fact, as far as particle-wise, look at how you look. We made out of the same three elementary particles. Keep it basic. Proton, neutrons, electrons. You got proton, neutrons. Proton's got two quirks up, one quart down, neutrals got two quart down, one quart up, blah, blah, blah. So we're made out of those same elementary particles, so up and down with particles. But yet somehow your arrangement of atoms make you look like you. There's a physical reasoning in the law that takes place for you to look like you and me look like me.

So when I look at everything with God, we would be as a simulation to him because he can just create. And then you think of the time and you think of all the civilizations and the different ones that pass us as the Aztecs and the Mayans and so on and so forth, all these different Mesopotamians, Babylonians and all these. Every language that was spoken then, that same being would know that language. And then we still want the whales. Of course, the killer whales kill this seal on the ice. You ever seen that shit? Yeah. Fucking beautiful. But the communication, right? And you said And you have to look at God in that, too. You go, what? So that means whoever this is that created all this, whether it be a God you believe in or the universe, it does have a consciousness to know the language of whales. Man, that's it. It made me want to go church a little bit, give a little praise. You know what I mean? For me, because that's how I look at them. So I don't look at them like... I was watching Neil deGrasse's Tyson talk. He was like, I don't believe there's God because...

Right, I've heard him say that. What I've seen of people terminating ill kids. And I said, Oh, you ain't terminally ill. Look at all the people that... The percentage of people that live versus the percentage of people that's terminally ill. Come on, boy. And he was like, Tsunamis? I'm like, Tsunamis? How many Tsunamis are there? He said it like this. I said, No, bro, you can't do that. If you're going to say the universe is beautiful as a physicist, then you would have to say God is beautiful. It's preposterous. You're saying it has to be evil with good.

If everything was good, we wouldn't know it's good. If there was no balance.

I understand. We don't want to become people who lack empathy, but death comes to everybody, whatever form it is. Unfortunately, some people got to go on ways. You're like, God, damn. You know what I mean? It's like, Fuck, did he just get hit?

Hit by a truck? Yes.

It's painful to see. And we empathize. And some of us share tears for the relatives that we lose in certain painful ways. Sure. However, God is still good. Because percentage-wise, when I look at the mathematics of the universe, I'm like... Because even if the Earth was destroyed right now, there's other life forms and other planets, socialisms that still exist unless he destroyed it, unless there is a time Like the Big Ripper or something like that, where it's getting to a point where it gets to a point where the whole universe becomes unstable.

And it needs to fix itself.

Or whatever.

Right. What you're really saying, what you're genuinely saying, what I hear, Doc, is that all lives matter is what you're trying to say. Hell, yeah.

From the fishers all the way up to whatever. But your manner of death. So I look at that. I look at when people are like, Oh, you shouldn't eat animals and kill animals. They do it to each other.

It's all a cycle. Yeah.

But for some reason, animals aren't sentient beings, right? They're just these objects that people look at. But to me, animals are just like us. And even plants, if you really want to get into it, but you won't look at that because, wait a minute, I eat carriers. Every time I bite into an apple and that juice come out, that might be a tear.

I can't believe you don't smoke weed. I'm shocked. Are you still on your wine, by the way? Oh, all the time. You're on the vino.

Yeah, all the time. Meaning two cups of glasses a day. Two a day. Well, I tried to, but I can't really afford it like that. It's expensive to drink wine.

Wine is expensive.

Yeah. No. So here's the thing. Nighttime wine, for some reason, it keeps me up. And then I did some research on that and I learned what alcohol does to some people. Because no matter what, if I drink wine later than seven, eight in the evening, I'll go to bed at night every single time, two hours a walk. So I did some research on it and come to find out the alcohol effects Because the brain and the neurological patterns and stuff like that.

It keeps you more engaged.

It keeps me more engaged. So I said, damn, man. So I started drinking wine. Like, I'll have wine now after lunch, right?

You have two glasses after lunch?

Yeah. I'll have two two classes after lunch, or I'll have it right around three or four, and then I won't try to drink no more wine at all at night.

Have you ever... You slipped and had a whole bottle?

When my mom had passed away, I was...

Yeah. Then you had a I was sorry. Not a couple of bottles.

Not a couple, because I get sick. Me and my mother, we have allergies to alcohol. That's why I can't drink.

Whisky and all that? Yeah.

I get sick as hell. Not even hangover sick. It's like my stomach and sometimes wine doesn't do it to you. Wine is the only thing that's just like, you good.

But it's got to be white wine, right?

No. Penal noir. Both. Oh, you can have both. I just drink the Penal noir because of the Reservoir and the... Forgetting the words.

Try it.

Flavins. Flavins?

F-l-a-v-i-n. Flavinoids?

Flavinoids, yeah.

Is that what it is?

Well, the same thing.

I just guessed. Yeah.

But because of that, it has more... But there's some research saying that white wine has equally, but I think that the color in itself, it has a little bit more- You say dark.

Dark is always better than white. Yeah. And I don't- And that's a standard life rule for you. Dark is always better than white. Isn't that true? People, wine, meat. Dark is always better than white. No, because I'm not a brown. And that's a principle that you live by.

You're calling me racist, don't you?

I mean, the real you's got to come out.

You got to come out sometimes.

All right. I want to know. People want to know. You don't have to say it. You're never going to come back to bad friends. You're never coming back.

Not as a- Not as a person on the show. Because here's what you already know. I think I might have told you this on a phone, but I was so hot, angry at the time.

You were hot.

I had already planned on not... When we did the first episode, I didn't want to come back.

You didn't want to come back after the first episode? Yeah. Why is that?

Because I didn't like... See, I know how you are, even though I didn't know you, know you like that. Based on your movement at the store and how you engage with people. But I fucking knew who Bobby was. Fucking knew. And I said, God damn it. I said, something going on with him. Let me see what's going on. He said, no, you're going to be on the podcast? I said, I'm going to be on the podcast. Okay. So when I got there, then I see this little pink format because you just followed whatever Bobby was doing and you all just was, nothing about that. Because I can see even in yourself, sometimes you were like, What the fuck is he? And then it was like, what is this?

A lot of the show is what the fuck is Bobby doing? Yeah.

So remember, after a few episodes, I said, oh, I'm the Cole or the Rose from Golden Girls.

Right. Oh, I'm that guy. Cole's great, by the way. Yeah. One of the best characters. I'm Martin.

You know what drives me crazy?

It don't matter what it is. And I'm Shaane, by the way, for people that are listening for references for Martin. You're Cole. I'm Shane'N.

I can see that.

And Bobby is- You go, girl. Yeah. I'm good at it. And Bobby is... What's the dude upstairs?

Oh, Bro-Man. Bro-man, yeah. Yeah, Bro, bro, bro, bro, man, bro, man. Fifth floor. Hilarious.

But no, so you checked out. You were like, I don't want to do it anymore.

Yeah. So then after what happened was other fellow comedians, family. I Why not? Stay on there and do what you... Just get used to. You ain't even tried it. So that was something that my mother taught me with the comms store because I didn't want to work at the comms store. Okay, I'll do that. Let me try to figure out where my place. So once I started looking, but I started really paying attention to Bob, I said, Okay, this is what this guy wants. Okay. So I said, But I'm not going to continue to be that guy. So my aunt called me one time. She was like, My mother's sister. She's like, What? I don't like him. Just said that. And I was like, Easy, easy, easy. And she said, But you know what? I talked to your cousin and he told me how you are, and I didn't know that part about you. And I thought you were just letting this in. I said, No. I said, That's the plan with it. And I called him and I said, Hey, what's up? He said, What? You told your mom. He said, Yeah. I told her you was just going to be doing this for so long, and then you're going to start amping it up.

So remember towards the end before I left? Bobby was like, Hey, man, what's gotten into you? I was swinging it, and I was like, It's coming. You're fucking getting ready. But At the same time, I was watching Bob and monitoring Bob from day one. So I was like, all right.

You heightened your awareness. Yeah.

I said, I already know because I already know how he was from the store and from past events with me and him. And I said, okay, yeah, now I have to watch Bob a little bit, too. And he's too wild. For me, for what I like. When we do the SOS, sometimes Carlos, he goes in, right?

He gets wild, yeah.

But he's not disrespectful For example, he's just trying to find the funny.

Sure.

So the problem with podcasting, and this is why I don't like podcasting. I hate it. I just have fun with Carlos and them. I said, well, you know what you all doing in this movie? Let me try this thing and see what it is. That's all it was just like, I like Pete and all of them. I like all of you. You didn't buy a comfy ass until that shit popped off. Oh, you fucking motherfucking. I was like, you done. I said, you just expedited the goddamn process. That shit is gone now.

He put it in the fast mode.

He put it in a fast mode.

You were saying you were doing all the SOS stuff and you did all that, but you knew that the end was coming.

Yes. And so for me, with that friend, now I would have been around a little bit longer, but my end goal was always just to go, okay, that's enough, man. I did what I needed to do. Whether the fans, the fans, they going to be what they be.

Sure.

You still see it?

You still see fans from it? All the time. And people say, yeah. That's all I do on SOS.

What is he comment about? But I don't pay it. Here's the thing about social media, and this is for any of the platforms. You ever see something funny, like a video. And then you just want to see who's having fun in the comments. And then you get there and then there's so many people not having fun. You're like, What are you? This is what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it gets real negative and shitty.

It gets real negative. So what I learned is I was telling Carlos and I said, When I go and if I look at the comments on whether it was Bad Friends or SOS, I just only see gaze who's having fun or enjoying it. Everything else, no, I can't. Because it's the same reason why I don't really like interacting with people that comment on my Instagram. Because name what, four to five mental illnesses. Just name it.

Mental illnesses? Yeah. A sociopath, schizophrenic, bipolar. What are you saying? All these people are in the comments.

Autism. Let's just take those. Okay, so you look at those and now you got to ask yourself, all the people, whether good or bad, that's comment on your page, Which one of them have that problem?

You think all of them have something?

It's not all of them. It's just you don't know who. Sure. And you don't know who's going through a depression.

And who's capable of what chaos.

It's not even about the chaos. It's just you don't know who you're dealing with, period. Sure. So you can't take any of it seriously. Because the same person that's saying positive things to you could have a shrine built to you at the house with your fucking head, with a hamster blood, a heart draw and hamster blood around your head going, I love Tino.

Shout out to Ron. That's my buddy Ron. Ron has an effigy for me, burning in perpetuity. Shout out to Ron. Thank you, Ron. You know I love you. Don't do anything bad. Yeah. No, you're right. The same people that love you hate you and the same people that hate you love you. It's a delicate line.

It's a delicate to learn. So if you engage with them too much, that's being positive to you. You might be encouraging some bad stalker behavior comment. So you really have to understand that this is just a media platform. For me, it's just work. And And I don't take it no seriously.

I like connecting with the fans. I do believe there's a lot more good than bad, in my opinion. However, it all gets convoluted as time goes on, right? People like to be negative. It's easier to be negative. Well, it's more fun, I should say, to be negative because it gets people in a mood. It's why critiques became... It's why the world of criticism took so much weight. People like to hear someone go, This thing sucks, because then they go, tell me why it sucks. So I can also try to hunt for why it sucks. But again, back to your yin and Yang theory of the universe. There has to be death for there to be life.

Well, like I said, I engage, but I don't engage that much.

And especially, you're not engaging with women that are trying to take your money.

Listen up, women out there.

Stop trying to take Doc's money. That's enough.

Cut the shit out.

Cut that shit out. You motherfuckers. So now that you're going to stay here and you're not going to go to New York, you're going to stay in LA. You ever have plans to do tour? Would you ever want to tour and run the country?

You know, the improv? What's his name? Cyrus. He gave me a headliner gig. And he was like, oh, we're going to do more business. So I thought from that point on, he was I want to continue to book me so that I can grow my hour and grow as a stand-up more as far as reaching people. Because it was my first time ever doing an hour. So it was rough, but it was still good. So I was like, okay. And It was surprising. I had like 70 something people. It's great. Oh, cool. Yeah, but it's that fucking. So what? So he messed it. But I enjoyed that. It was more than that because it was like all the tables was filled up front, the long tables. And then I had a few in the booths. That was my family. Then all other booths was regular people. So it was like, oh, okay, this is cool.

A ticket bot is a ticket bot. Doesn't matter how many there are. That's nice. People are going. But what? You don't feel like going back out, No, it's not for you.

Yeah. And I do have some other things in line. I don't want to talk about them yet until they fucking pop, until they come out.

You can't even give me a preview of what's going on with you? Yeah.

God damn, doc. Because I don't like to do that until it actually happens because it's been time where I've done it and nothing happens. So I said, wait, let me make sure.

But that's the story of this business, right? I think people do want to know that. They do need to know that a lot of things happen and they don't happen at all. Yeah. A lot of things are on. There's a lot of movement and then things die or they just cease or they, or someone he knew comes into a company and then changes. They're like, we don't want to do that anymore. That happens all the time. Right.

Well, I could tell you I'll give you this much. It's a little project with Kevin Hertz. Something small. Something for me. It was cool.

Too small, perhaps.

Could be.

You're going to do twins, but you'll both be Danny DeVito. Is that what it is? That'd be great. I hope that works out. I hope so. Look, I miss you. I appreciate you. I just wanted to jam with you for a minute and catch up and see what was happening. And also, I know you'll never come back, but you'll always have a place on Bad Friends.

Well, I did until Carlos?

Who? Andres? Andres.

Yeah. I told them to talk to the fans directly themselves so they can get an understanding of what happened between all three of us. Because they ain't got nothing to do with you.

Well, you and I know. Yeah.

So it's like I said, I'll go back and do that, do one episode.

So you'll come back and do one Bad Friends, maybe.

Yeah. For that reason. For the fans to just understand. It's not Because they think there's no communication at all as far as there's this anger between all of us. No, that's not true. Yeah. It's just that... Here's the thing.

I mean, you and I talk, but I don't know if you talk to anybody else.

Well, we've text, but I've never... Here's the thing. Me and Bob never talk like that.

That's the thing.

So that's the fallacy as a podcast. It's as if people can't grasp the fact that it don't matter what platform it is, it's edited.

They gave you the full cut anywhere, any of them, whether it's, I don't know, Bill Maher, if you guys want, or whoever.

It's edited down so that it can be entertaining for you. If you got the full thing, you'll be like, Man, shit, man. Why they didn't So it's not 100 % genuine in that aspect.

Well, you're not going to see everything. No, that's impossible.

Right. So you take that and then you take the fact that you don't know the people that you're really listening to.

Yeah, sure.

I'm not. I don't know if you and your wife really at home arguing and getting into it with each other. You understand what I'm saying? So there's this aspect. They have to understand that it's just entertainment.

There's just two separate versions, right? There's a piece of us that is always real for the fans. But then there's only so much you can give to people. You also don't want to give everything because that's hard. Sometimes you're like, I need my own world to exist. You can't live completely in the space. It would be detrimental to your health, your mental health. Your Mental Health. You'd have a breakdown if you lived everything on the Internet. There's guys that do.

There's people that do. And kudos to them.

Well, no, it looks scary and weird and sad. Well, I expect you to come back at some point Then to say goodbye. A good send off. We'll get you a nice gift. I'll get you a fucking jug of Carlo Rossi.

We'll give you that bullshit.

But I appreciate you, Doc. And I hope people do keep showing up to the shows. If you keep touring in Southern California, people got to keep popping up. You know I'll promote anything for you for the rest of time. We end the episode the same way. Look in that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. It can be quick. It could be long.

Move. In here, we pour a whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.