Transcript of Tiffany Carter: The Million-Dollar Mindset Mistake That Cost Me Everything | Mental Health | E411

People listening right now, I would say you're leaving millions of dollars on the table by not having stuff addressed that you've been carrying from childhood. That stuff left unaddressed bleeds into your business faster than people realize.

Tiffany Carter. She became a millionaire by age 30 and then lost it all nearly just 3 months later. In this episode, Tiffany reveals how trauma, people pleasing, scarcity, and a lack of boundaries can quietly sabotage your success.

Without self-worth, you sell your soul and you start doing things or you avoid doing things that would get you to where you wanna go so much faster.

You talk about this ego death.

In order to quantum jump, the ego is what's holding us back.

Mm-hmm.

That has to die off in order for you to be—

What is your number one piece of advice to be better at selling without being manipulative?

Number one, you're talking too much. We overtalk when we're nervous, we overtalk when we're eager, we overtalk out of excitement. You need to have the other person talking more and you listening more.

Mm-hmm.

The other thing—

Tiffany, welcome to Young and Profiting Podcast. Thank you.

I'm so happy to be here and finally connect with you.

Yeah.

In real life.

I wanna start off by talking about a story that I learned about you when I was researching you, that you acquired $1 million by the time you were 30, which is like everyone's dream. So many people listening to this podcast wish they could have $1 million by the age of 30, but you ended up losing it all within 3 months. So talk to us about why you didn't have the identity that was able to keep the money that you made.

How I was raised was in a highly abusive environment. And so, I had no self-worth. But on the outside, I knew how to fake it. I knew how to mask. I watched other people who seemed confident, and I mimicked them. And so, that was a survival trait that I was able to have some level of success with. And because I had no fallback person or plan or family, to me, money equaled safety. If I accumulated enough wealth, I would have the options, I would have the ability to protect myself, and I wouldn't have to depend on anyone or do anything I didn't wanna do for money. So I was fixated on it. And it's an important part of the story 'cause that's not actually a healthy way.

Yeah.

To go about accumulating money. But it does work, but it comes at a cost. So because I had underneath all of that no self-worth, when I did see that 7 figures in my bank account cross over, I remember where I was standing in my luxury townhouse in Los Angeles. I was by myself and I went, oh, okay, that's pretty cool. And then immediately I felt this feeling in my stomach. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Like, now what am I gonna do? And who am I to have this? So then those nasty inner critic voices came up. You're an idiot. You don't know what to do with money. And you're selfish. Now you've gotta help more people because you have this money. In fact, you're not helping enough people. And it was just going on and on and on. And so I did what I know other people have told me they've also done too, is that like, I sought help. I sought counsel.

Yeah.

And I asked an old mentor of mine for a referral for a financial advisor. And I did not trust my own instincts. This is someone who showed up to a meeting wearing, like, board shorts and a t-shirt. Now listen, when you're meeting someone who's not, like, a longtime client—

Yeah, you want to show up—

That's kind of weird.

Yeah.

And I thought it was weird. I even, and I'm like, oh, you're just being, you're being judgmental. Like this is how people operate who have a lot of money. You know, they don't care. So they just show up whatever, which it is kind of true. I mean, I don't look like that right now, but most of the time you see me out and about.

Same here. I'm yoga outfit and that's it.

You're like, I'm in a workout outfit. It looks like I don't work.

Right? Yeah.

And then he gave me a whole stack of papers I had to sign. And I own my part in it. I did not read through them because I had the story of, you're an idiot, you're not good at math.

You need somebody else to help you out.

I didn't know what the hell they even said. It was intimidating. And I felt like a sense of urgency 'cause he was putting a lot of pressure on me. As, by the way, guys, people who are scamming you do.

Red flag.

Yeah, red flag. And I just fell for the pressure. And he invested all that money in fake gold mines. But I signed everything.

Oh my God.

And I lost everything. Wow. I didn't lose my house, like I, but I came back to baseline.

Wow.

Of everything that I saved and worked that hard for. But ultimately it had to happen because that's what woke me up to see, oh my gosh, like something's really broken inside of me that needs healing for something like this to happen.

Yeah. It's so interesting that somebody can mentally be strong enough to acquire $1 million and to be productive and to perform really well at work, but then not be able to actually, like, keep that success and not be mentally ready for that success.

You see this a lot with athletes and actors and music artists and people who win the lotto. I mean, the stat is 80% of people who win the lotto lose it within, like, 18 months.

Mm-hmm.

They even file for bankruptcy.

Yeah.

Because having the money, that's great. But like you said, you have to be able to not just be responsible with the money, but know how to hold that and feel good holding it. I felt bad having it. In fact, I felt terrible having it. I wanted it. I didn't want it to go away.

Yeah. You almost rejected it.

I just felt so uncomfortable with it and a level of guilt for having it. Like I didn't deserve it.

Yeah. And how did you acquire that? That was with your agency business?

That was in part with, I was in the pharmaceutical industry. Mm-hmm. So this was actually from my corporate jobs and me being in sales and saving. So this was before I even started a business.

Got it.

So what came out of all of this and me going, okay, like I wanna accumulate my wealth back, was me starting a business came out of that. I had all of this from truly like, work in my sales game. Yeah. Right. And corporate.

A lot of the way that we show up in the world has to do with what happened to us as children and teenagers, uh, the way that we feel about money and our beliefs around money and also like our beliefs around our own self-worth. So talk to us, and I know that this is like, you've got a really traumatic past, so as much as you feel comfortable to share with us today, but talk to us about your childhood, the things that you went through, and then later how it showed up with how you treated money and how you even treated entrepreneurship and, and work and, and the way that you showed up in the world.

So I was raised by an entrepreneur.

Mm-hmm.

What's interesting is my parents divorced at 4. My dad was also an entrepreneur. He's the entrepreneur we wanna be.

Mm.

Shil Koop DeVille. Yeah. Okay. Like, and he had holes in his pants and wore Velcro sandals. Very embarrassing to me as a kid. My mom is the narcissist and very showy, very loud, very flashy. My mom has an addiction to male attention, among, among other things. So starting from ages 11 all the way to 21, she pimped me out to people who worked for her, people who could benefit her in some way financially, including clients. And so, because that was happening and I had nowhere to turn, no one to go to— I'm an only child, both of my parents are only children. I had no access to anyone. And anyone who tried to say something, my mom eliminated. She wasn't famous, but she was— picture a smaller town, but when someone's very successful in that town, they have a lot of power.

Mm-hmm.

And no one wants to mess with them. Well, that was my situation. And so I had to learn how to survive in that setting and normalize it and stuff it.

Yeah.

And one of the things that I told myself, like, you know, my child mind, which obviously is not accurate, is that I deserve this, that I must look very, like, sexy and older than my age. And there's something about the way I look that, like, men can't, like, stop themselves. And that this is just like the lot in life and God forgot about me and I just have to like deal with it.

You became an adult and you had this like false image and identity that you presented to the world, and it seemed like you had it all together and that everything was fine. And it was really, you were like suppressing having to deal with what happened to you. So talk to us about how you showed up at work and what were some of the symptoms that, that showed that you were really needing to release this trauma?

What's interesting is I became a TV newscaster because I wanted to tell the truth. It's funny now to say that because we know the news is sus, right?

Yeah.

But I wanted to state the facts and people to hear me, which the fact I have a podcast, right?

Yeah. You wanted a platform.

That's not lost on me. Yeah.

Right.

That, that's still in there. I mean, all the dots do start connecting when you get to a certain point in life. You're like, oh, that makes sense. But the wheels started falling off the bus when I had to do news stories on, like, gang rapes, on these horrible things happening. And when I started getting more visibility as a newscaster, like, people recognized me at the grocery store and stuff like that. All I wanted to do was hide. I could barely keep it together to the point where I had to quit that career because I felt like everyone could see my trauma.

Mm.

You know, that all the eyes were on me, that I wasn't going to be able to, like, keep up that facade. Like, people could see that I was basically a liar, that I was a fraud, that I wasn't— I wasn't this confident person I portrayed to be. And guess what? I wasn't. And I couldn't handle being in that kind of spotlight. So that's when things really, really started being obvious.

Mm-hmm.

And then I quit, and I went to picking up dog poop and piss on Ventura Boulevard in Los Angeles from being on TV because I would not have been employable at that point. That's when all of the buried trauma came to the surface. And then I went into an outpatient program and started all the heavy healing work that had to happen. To be done.

And so after that healing work completed, is that when you decided you were going to start your first company?

I decided I had to start my first business from being in corporate. And didn't matter that I was the number one salesperson, it didn't matter I was the number one sales trainer, I kept getting passed up for promotions. I was hitting a glass ceiling over and over again, and I would switch to a different company.

Yeah.

And thinking it would be different there. And maybe it's just this and maybe it's just that. And when you do things enough times and it doesn't work, at some point you're like, okay, like this is not meant for me. I was terrified. I am not wired like most of your guests that you have on, like a typical entrepreneur. I call myself Type C. I have complex PTSD. I'm not an organized person. And I am so rooted still to this day in a need for certainty. That that has to be managed every hour of the day. There is very little certainty.

Yeah.

In entrepreneurship and in life, quite frankly. And so I have to monitor and manage that and overcome a lot to have even started it. But what made me do it is I couldn't get to where I wanted to go. Like the route was closed for me. And I do believe spiritually that the universe, my higher power closed it. 'Cause I tried.

Mm-hmm.

I really tried. I, I mean, I like had a hammer out trying to break that glass ceiling.

Yeah.

And nothing worked to where it was like, okay, there's only one other route to go. I gotta do this thing for myself.

Yeah. I mean, I had similar experiences too. I spent 7 years in corporate before I became an entrepreneur. And in certain, when I was younger, it was okay. 'Cause, was, uh, like I was an intern, then I got promoted and like kept getting promoted. But then at a certain age, I looked younger than I really am and I'm petite and that also has to do with that. And I'm really girly. At a certain point it felt like I couldn't get to that next level. And as soon as I quit and, you know, started a personal brand and created my company, it was like all those glass ceilings to your point, like totally shattered. And I had complete control over how much money I wanted to make, how big I wanted to grow my company. And so I do feel that this is a problem for, for women and especially when they're like around 30 years old because there's just, you know, I just feel like it's just so hard to get to that like C-suite level, executive level and like really make the type of money that a lot of us are hoping and dreaming of making.

Well, and thank God it didn't work for you either.

Yeah. And we're gonna talk all about, uh, manifestation and, and all those kinds of things, but I wanna keep learning about your story. So, You ended up becoming an entrepreneur. Talk to us about some of the, the daily like fears that show up in, in everything that you do and try to help people understand like if they're feeling similar fears, like how do they actually combat it and still show up and be a good entrepreneur?

I, A, was terrified to start it because no one would give me a loan because that was 18 years ago, you guys, for me. So for me to have started a business in digital marketing 18 years ago, and even as a business that didn't have like a brick and mortar office, you were unwell in the mind. And I had good credit.

Yeah.

And it didn't matter. But thank God because I had good credit, shout out American Express. That's truly, that's how I started my business. And I'm so grateful for that. And so there were extra layers. I had no parachute, and I am not putting anyone down who has a rich uncle or has a supportive family or a partner. You're very, very blessed.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't have that, which in a way is its own blessing because I really had to make sure I figured out a way to do this while I didn't, quite frankly, lose my ass.

Mm-hmm.

And not be able to pay to live cuz I had nowhere to go.

Yeah.

So my approach, if someone was looking from the outside in, they'd go, "Oh, she's kind of conservative in her approach." Well, I am. I had to be. Now, was I probably conservative a bit to a fault for a long time, to my detriment? Absolutely. But I also have to operate that way because I wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna be on the streets.

Mm-hmm.

So I had those additional fears going on. That I had to manage because selling someone else's stuff when you work for someone else, I was internationally award-winning at that.

Yeah.

Selling my own stuff, my intellectual property, my services, that was not a shoo-in. And I was already well-known in my industry. They weren't cold leads. These were warm, even hot leads, like C-suite people picking up the phone for me.

Yeah.

Okay. Like the decision maker. I pitched 50 companies and I only got 2 clients.

Hmm.

That's not, that's, that's not good, by the way, guys.

Talk to us about what went wrong. Like, what did you do wrong in those sales calls?

I was thirsty.

Hmm.

I was thirsty. And at that point in time, everyone has a tell. If you talk to someone who's a professional poker player, I've interviewed some of these people, right? We all have a tell. It doesn't matter. How much you try to control yourself. My tell in that environment at that time was over-talking, over-giving, you know, 'cause I didn't believe that I was enough. I believed I had to, you know, jump through hoops and do all these extra things to get your business 'cause, hey, I'm just starting. So I've gotta like really prove myself and just overly eager and,— it's not hot. And it comes at people— because I've been on the receiving end of it now too— it comes at people like, whoa, like, this is too much. This is a lot. And it also kind of makes you psychologically go, is this person kind of like desperate? Like, maybe we, maybe we should, should look at other, you know, agencies.

Yeah. People want what they can't have. They want what's hard to access. And if you're like too accessible and just like giving. There was a catch.

I was very accessible. 'Cause think about going back to childhood.

Mm-hmm.

What, not just what I was taught, what I was conditioned.

Yeah.

No boundaries. And I had none. I thought the more open access to me, that would mean I would land the deal with these billion-dollar companies.

Yeah.

Right? Like, 'cause I knew that these fancy marketing firms on Fifth Avenue weren't doing that. That was part of my selling point, is that I'm a boutique agency. And there is some truth to that and being the benefit. I just went too far with it, with everything. And think of all of those bitches that I lost.

Yeah.

As a result. And since then, thankfully, I've had the pleasure and the relationship of even laughing and talking to some of these people. And most of them don't remember. I think that's important for people to hear. Most of them don't remember.

Yeah.

They don't even remember me pitching them.

Mm.

Meanwhile, like, for you, it's like 10 years later, you're like ruminating on it.

Exactly.

They have no recollection of it. But then a couple of them who did remember, right? Like, we could laugh about it now. Mm-hmm. And they reflected like, yeah, you were, you were over the top, was what they said.

Mm-hmm.

And I was. But that's why if we don't do that inner identity work, it ends up impacting our money, our success. Even if you mean well, even if you're nice, even if you're accommodating. And I couldn't see what I couldn't see. That's why I'm such a believer in having mentorship and coaching and hiring experts and having a good team around you that just doesn't tell you yes. Because when you're standing in the picture, how can you see the whole frame? Meanwhile, I thought I nailed it, by the way.

Oh really?

You think people were like, why aren't they emailing me back? Exactly. There were a couple where I was like, I wasn't on my game, which we all have even to this day.

Yeah.

Like even when, you know, I do interviews sometimes I'm like, oh, that wasn't my best. But no, most of it was, I don't understand. Like why are, why didn't I get that?

You couldn't see it.

I really couldn't.

So you had other boundary issues in your first business, the way that you developed Project Me, which is your latest business. Was totally different than your agency. You had a lot of people pleasing. Um, help us understand some of the things that you did wrong in your agency business versus how you show up in Project May.

I built my agency business like I was an employee, meaning I made a lot more, but it was all dependent on me, me, me, me, me. Just like a sales position. Is all truly like, you're only as good as your last sale.

Yeah.

You know, it, it, you're not selling, you're not making your commission.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

But in entrepreneurship, that, that like devalues your company.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And I was so focused because I again tied money to my safety and security. Oh, it has to be me. It has to be me. And, but at a certain point there is no more of you. Mm-hmm. I created then my own glass ceiling, and I couldn't get past like 250 to about 250 to 350 mark. And I see this commonly now when people come to me. It's a marker that I couldn't get past without completely frying myself out. I couldn't see a way around that until I was able to have someone who had more expansive thinking, much more my senior, who was able to say to me, you don't need to do more, you need to pull back and do less. And I was like, what? So I thought more is better. I mean, most of us were taught that.

Yeah.

More sales calls, more pitches, more offers, more offers. And now in like the social media age, like more posts, doing more, showing up more, more, more, more, more, more. Well, not really. Not if it's not strategic. 'Cause at some point, more of, more is just more. It's not gonna necessarily get you anywhere. And so I had to learn what I now call our income and joy generating activities. And I have to remind myself of this, I would say at least twice a week, Tiffany, stop focusing on all these 10 other things. That's not your job. What are your income and joy generating activities? Because I still will want to go.

I'd love for you to break that down for us. Like, how can you determine what are your income and joy activities?

Is this something for income generating? I ask myself, is this something that is directly tied to growing my business? That could be me interviewing people on my podcast. It could be me hiring or looking to hire people. It could be me creating social media videos because that's a major way, right? We market our brand. And our business, it could be me floating in my pool ideating on what it is that I wanna do next and what I wanna create. And is there something I feel called to share about on the podcast?

Mm-hmm.

So that to me is directly tied to income. Stuff that isn't, I'm not allowed to be in my emails. I get in trouble if I go in there. It's not good. Really? 'Cause I'll, I have probably 220,000 unread emails. It doesn't matter. I don't need to be in there. I'm not allowed to go in Canva. I'm not, even though some of it can seem kind of fun to go in and play around. I'm not allowed to do the admin of booking guests, even if it's someone I know. I have to pass it off, even though in my head I'm going, isn't that kind of rude? Shouldn't I book them? This is someone I know. I, I've gotta pass it all off to people. So that's the difference there. Joy generating. To me is tied to income generating. If this isn't fun, what is, what are we doing? Why is this happening? Yeah, and not that business is fun every day, it certainly isn't, but I can really suck the fun out of things if I'm not careful as an entrepreneur. And I don't think that that's just me. And I've gotta make a point of being playful and do creative things.

And maybe it's going and having a cocktail with a friend, Maybe it's me walking on the beach. I've gotten into diamond art recently. Ooh. Because I like bedazzling everything.

That's so cute. Right? Yeah.

And that's, and that then opens me up. It removes that kind of needy, thirsty, controlling energy, which is so repelling.

Mm-hmm.

And it brings me back to an abundant state.

Yeah. Also that feeling of like, I have enough and there's enough coming to me and I can have fun and be present. I feel like there's a lot of entrepreneurs that just feel like, oh, I just have to keep working, working, working. For what? If you're not gonna sit back and, and have fun once in a while.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah. People pleasing can, can really hurt entrepreneurs. And I've heard you say that people pleasing is lying. I'd really love to understand why you feel that people pleasing is also lying in your opinion.

When I first had a mentor of mine tell me that, I was horrified. I was offended. I was disgusted because I prided myself on being someone of high integrity who's a no BS person. And it is lying because we are lying in order to manage and manipulate getting what we need, whether it's someone to move a couch for us, someone to connect us with someone we want to get connected to. To get the sale, to have someone like us in a friendship or relationship. And I did it all the time. I would lie about— in dating, they'd be like, oh, let's go get Indian food. Even if I had no desire for Indian food that night, oh, that sounds great. And I would go and do that. Or if it was a potential client that wanted to meet in a location that I didn't really love meeting in, maybe it was too loud. I didn't, I said, whatever you want. And it's not true.

Yeah.

I am lying to people. Or me not saying and setting boundaries with people who work for me personally and professionally, that's me lying about my own needs and my standards to someone else. And eventually what that leads to is seething resentment and anger towards your business. Towards those people and feeling depleted because I'm twisting myself in a knot over here. Meanwhile, you're getting whatever you want. Well, I caused it.

Yeah, it's your fault.

And I didn't know— I didn't realize that because I was conditioned to also do that. My needs didn't matter. All that mattered with me growing up is that I did whatever I had to do to keep my mom happy. There wasn't an option for my needs.

Yeah.

Maybe if I was hungry, like some baseline options maybe mattered, but the rest of it didn't matter. And that stuff left unaddressed bleeds into your business faster than people realize. In fact, people listening right now, I would say you're leaving millions of dollars on the table by not having stuff addressed that you've been carrying. From childhood.

I have so many ways I wanna like go, but why don't we address what you just said? Cuz there's child things that come up and then there's also like your teenager inner self, which I never really heard about, which I think is really interesting cuz for me I feel like I don't really have much childhood stuff, but I, I betcha there's a lot of like teenage inner self that comes out in how I act present day. Talk to us about the difference between the two and what are some common things that come up for entrepreneurs?

When you really tap into your body, and this might not happen like literally while you're listening to this, you need to go for a walk, which I teach this thing called taking abundance walks to get yourself back in your body. Your inner child often is like having a tantrum. It's truly like an inner child. Like you have a 6-year-old, what they want, they want it now. They're scared. They get frozen. An inner teenager operates differently. My inner teenager, you know, I'll fight you, you know. I'll fight you. I can be very cunning. I can be— there's a vindictive, like I'll have vindictive thoughts. My inner teen can have comparison and jealousy. So I've learned that over time, identifying Where is this feeling or this desire, this behavior of mine, even a habit, where is this stemming from? Which version of me is this coming from, like 15-year-old Tiff, or is this coming from little Tiffy? What's going on? Because it's coming from one of the two.

And when you see it showing up, what is like an exercise you can do to get back into your present self and your adult self and— zoom out of all of it?

The fastest way I've found is talking to that inner teen, inner child. Sometimes it's both together, which starts making you feel like you're Looney Tunes.

Okay?

And speaking as you wish you were spoken to when you were a kid.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I would've loved to have had, you know, like a cool auntie when I was a teen and be like, "Listen, girl, like, this stuff's scary that's going on right now, and businesses have ups and downs. Just look at the stock market. You're not doing anything wrong. This is part of the ride. It's kind of like a wave. You gotta ride it. And I know it's insane, but it's worth doing, and I believe in you, and you've got this." I would've died to have had that, right? Yeah. You wouldn't say that to like a little kid. You know, a little kid is, "What do you need right now? Do you want a hug?" Reminding them, "I love you." What, you know, and give them what they need. Sometimes for me, it's like, "I need to eat." Sometimes it's, "I need a nap." Sometimes, and usually, my inner child's going, "I don't wanna be around anybody. I hate everybody." That's okay. Let's hang out. For a while, and let's just do our own thing and put the phone down and have our own space and time, and actually meeting your own needs versus kind of ignoring that inner teen or inner child.

Like, okay, like, I get it. We will deal with that later. Well, now you're self-abandoning, and it doesn't work. Why it doesn't work in the moment, you might be able to get away with it. But it shows up as excess weight, it shows up as exhaustion, it shows up as autoimmune issues, it shows up as you being— lashing out to people in your life, it shows up as brain fog, it shows up in a million different ways. So we can't get away with not doing it, but usually people have to get to a certain point of pain.

Yeah.

Before they'll do that level of inner work, because that's— pain's a beautiful thing. I mean, I don't really love being in it, but it is there 'cause it propels us to take action. I mean, I didn't start my first business out of being, feeling great that I kept hitting the glass ceiling. It was outta pain. It was outta discomfort. Mm-hmm.

Same here. As you were talking, something that like came up for me was Benjamin Hardy has been on my show multiple times and he's like amazing. And he told me this line that I didn't forget that basically like in order to show up like really productive and like 10x your life and, and whatever, you need to have a happy past and a hopeful future. And he recommends that anything negative in our past, we try to reframe and get the positive out of it and try not to tell us like the negative story. But when I hear your story and like the fact that your mother sex trafficked you, it's like, how can you reframe that like necessarily as a happy past, right? There's certain things that happen with me, like getting like fired when I worked for free for 3 years. Like that is something that's like not as, as traumatic. I can reframe it into something positive and like move forward from it. How have you taken your past trauma? And for anybody listening who's had like significant trauma, what advice do you have for them to let go of their past to a degree so that they can like move on from it?

And have a hopeful future and not let the past be like holding them back?

Well, one, I appreciate you asking the question and understanding the nuance. This is why I always say like attracts like and why so many of the listeners on my podcast, I would say 99%, have gone through trauma because the things I speak about are trauma-informed.

Yeah.

So that was a very trauma-informed question.

Yeah.

So I appreciate that. Being in our victiminess, right? I could have easily done that. And guess what? Everyone would have given me a pass. Everybody. "Oh, that makes sense why she's not doing anything with her life." Easy pass. No doubt about it. I wouldn't have had a pass in that. Do I go back and say, "Oh, I'm so glad that that happened to me"? Ab— Absolutely not. I would do anything to be able to have a loving mother. I'd do anything for my father to be alive right now, of course. But I do believe that all of that, what happened to me, as horrible as it is, and even though I don't wish it on anybody, is that there is a divine calling for it. And the divine calling is that now I help build safe houses for women and children who've been sex trafficked. I open up a conversation around topics that a lot of people don't wanna talk about, don't maybe wanna hear about, or maybe aren't qualified to talk about it. And I make people feel less alone in the dark. So I look at it like there is a calling. There's a deep— you've had people on your shows who are sober.

They used to, you know, you've had a lot of people who've gone through stuff. And there is a deeper calling that perhaps I was meant to be the lighthouse for people. And that, that's why this happened. Mm-hmm. So it helps me make sense of it, but I had to go to a spiritual place to get to it, not a logical place.

That was super powerful. And thank you so much for sharing that. To go back to the business perspective, compare and contrast, like the way that you operated your agency versus the way that you operate Project Me today? Like what boundaries have you put in place with Project Me so that you are not operating from your inner child or your inner teen? And then also your people pleasing doesn't like show up.

So it is completely different. One, it's a different business model, right?

Yeah.

So my agency is all B2B and you still have that agency, right? Yes, I still have it. So it's all B2B. That, that's like a fine-oiled machine now. I'm not focused on growing that. Instead, I put my growth into Project Me.

Mm-hmm.

But it was rules to start with. But you can also do a flip if you already have a business, because I, I did that with the agency too. I had to.

Yeah.

So you can have your own reorg. I don't care if you have 3 people working for you. You have 300 or you have zero, or it's just, you know, it's just you. You can also fire yourself and then hire a new version of yourself.

I love that. I love that. I do. Yeah.

I fired myself and I made a non-negotiable list and it doesn't need to, it should not be a long list. And nothing could come in front of my mental or physical or spiritual wellbeing again. Period, end of story. That had to come first, hence the name Project ME, 'cause you are the most exceptional project of your life. I was always taught it was selfish to put ourselves first. I know a lot of us were taught that.

Mm-hmm.

You know, that's not being a loving, giving person and all that other nonsense. Well, we, we have to put ourselves first in order to serve at our greatest level. So that is what I've modeled with Project ME. So most of my days do not start until 11 or 12 PM in terms of work. And that was from the beginning. So it wasn't like, oh, that's nice. She probably hustled 14 hours a day and now she's at that point. No, but it's important to hear this. Could I have grown so much faster, so much quicker if the old Tiffany started Project Me? Absolutely. But I wasn't willing to pay that price.

Mm-hmm.

Because it does come at a price.

Yeah, it does.

And I wasn't willing to do it. I didn't think I would survive it. So I also had to manage expectations and what that would look like. So when I would watch people and now they're launching this and now they've got their third book out, and there was the old part of me that's like, uh, comparing, right? Like comparing. Jealousy. And they have so much energy and,. And I wanna do that. And I like was grieving that old Tiffany who operated that way. So I had to remind myself, we're not doing things that way anymore. It doesn't work. And what ended up happening as a result is I had so much success so much faster because I was honoring myself first. But I didn't know it was gonna work that way. I had no evidence that that was gonna be the path.

Maybe people like felt like the truth vibrating from you that like it was like a new confidence because you were actually operating based on what you wanted and not what other people wanted from you. Yeah.

And I think there was also that ease, and there really was genuine from day one, true self-esteem. Something I say is ZFG, you know, zero Fs given, right? Like that, there, you can tell that about me. And that was sincere from the beginning. And I think there wasn't much of that at the time, and there still really isn't that much of it. Like, your show's one of the only shows I listen to, by the way.

Oh, thank you.

Because a lot of it is fluff. They don't ask these deeper questions, and I'm always blown away, like, why do so many people listen to this? But that's a whole nother story. But people crave that realness, that rawness, and that centered and groundedness that I now have. But man, I worked my ass off to have this. I mean, a lot of time and energy.

This reminds me of a quote that you say that your self-worth is your net worth.

Yeah.

Why do you believe that's true?

Because without self-worth, you sell your soul and you start doing things, or you avoid doing things that would get you to where you wanna go so much faster. And when you're operating out of a point of trusting your inner guide, trusting yourself, honoring yourself, giving yourself grace when you make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. Not everything I touch turns to gold, right? I make horrible— I invested almost $1 million last year. I don't have any return on that, right? Like, yeah, I, I give myself grace for that. And that's okay, you know? And then that gives other people permission, like, oh, I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to be perfect in every which way for this to pay off. And it does end up attracting more opportunities, more people. I wouldn't allow myself to be this visible on platforms, therefore I wouldn't have the visibility as the old Tiffany.

Yeah, because you were— you didn't want to be on TV. You quit your job to be on TV, and now you're back on social every day showing your face.

Exactly. And I wanted to hide from the world. I mean, there was a period of time where I, I gained a lot of weight, which for me was a form of hiding.

Mm-hmm.

And wearing like oversized clothes.

Mm-hmm.

To now I wanna be seen, but not from an ego perspective, from more of a platform connection perspective.

Well, I learned, uh, when I was reading about you this morning that you had the idea for Project Me for 10 years. And you actually thought about it when you were, you were, like, recovering from a spinal injury from overexercising. Yes. You didn't tell that story.

Yeah, I picked clever addictions. I did not— substances did not catch on for me, although I tried those. So I picked workaholism and exercise addiction, which is a form of an eating disorder.

Mm-hmm.

So anyone who remembers, like, those kickboxing classes where it was like, "Burn 1,300 calories!" Yeah, Thai bars or whatever.

Yeah, exactly.

I mean, I do have a solid workout history. Like Roundhouse, so be careful. But that was my addiction. And I literally would go out and party and then go take class. I had sunglasses on in Los Angeles, like at the gym, and then I blew out my spine. So I had the vision and the idea, even the colors, even an, even an early drawing of the logo of Project Me. But I was so filled with all of my own self-doubt, who do you think you are? 'Cause it wasn't about afraid of being an entrepreneur. I already was one. Mm-hmm. And a successful one. It wasn't about that. This was doing what I really wanted to do.

Yeah.

What I was meant to do and what sounded like, oh my God, I get to be paid to do this. Like, I was like, who, who's gonna listen to me? At that time I was like, you can listen to like Tony Robbins. So I had that going on in my head, right? Like, you go listen to, like, Oprah.

Yeah.

I'm nobody. And then it went— then I went down the path of my looks, because when I started my show at the end of 2018, a lot of the people online, none of them look like me. They were all super skinny, blonde, bopping around Bali influencers. And I was like, well, I don't look like that. So then no one's gonna—

Yeah. Who's gonna watch me?

No one's gonna watch me.

Yeah.

So all those excuses and nonsense I hear from people, It doesn't work with me because I've already told myself all that. And before you know it, 1 year went to 3, went to 5, went to 8. And when it hit 10 years and I never lost the idea, it might not have been there every day, but maybe I'd be scrolling and it would come up. Maybe I would just be sitting and laying out and it would come up. Maybe it would come in a dream of mine. And I would still create another story. Once I have this many millions saved, I'll do that. Oh, if I amass this amount of money, I'd do it. After I get through this busy period at work, then I'll do that. There was always if and when, if and when. And I finally got to a point when I realized, 'cause I found an original sketch. I was probably on pain medication also at the time, but I found an original sketch. Of Project Me in one of my journals, and it was dated, and I went, "Oh my God, it's been 10 years." It's kind of like having, like, a powerful birthday, you know?

Yeah.

Or an anniversary of something to wake you up going, "Oh my God, I had no idea this is how long I've been carrying this dream and have done nothing." I shouldn't say nothing. I was the person, which is funny 'cause now people do it with my stuff, who bought like a course here and there. I would join, you know, like a program, but I wouldn't complete it.

Yeah. You never actually like launched.

I didn't implement it. Yeah. I might have, I was the student. Mm-hmm. 'Cause being a student and learning is very safe. That's not scary. The scary is like implementing what you've learned. So I was, you know, the toe dipper. And I finally just decided. And I know that's an annoying answer for people, like, well, what happened? What changed? I decided.

You were ready. You, you must have been, like, mentally ready to do it.

I was disgusted with myself, honestly. I was horrified that something that I wanted to do, which is a beautiful thing, that I was resisting doing because I was afraid it wasn't gonna work or that I was gonna look stupid or what people were gonna think of me. And it was like, that's not who I am.

Mm-hmm.

And that's not who I wanna be. And I'm just not gonna do that anymore. And if it doesn't work, it's okay. So this is the experiment. The experiment is, okay, you have a year, give yourself a year. And it doesn't mean it has to like take off in that year, but if there is no solid growth after a year, then you can revisit and decide if you quit or you keep going. But you've gotta give it a year. That was my commitment.

So you told yourself, I'm gonna start this podcast for a year. I'm not gonna attach it to like my identity, I guess, by saying that it's a year experiment first. And then kind— I love that advice for people who are out there. There's probably so many of you guys listening that have a dream that you've been sitting on for years. Give yourself like a, a time period that you're gonna go out and do it. I've got friends that wanna start podcasts and don't start them. And I think part of the reason why is cuz if they fail, they feel like it's gonna be really embarrassing that people are gonna be like, so what happened with your podcast? And then be like, oh, like it didn't work out. How can somebody get over that feeling? And, and what advice do you have for people who feel scared to get started? Because if it fails, they have to like address the failure.

I can actually get into a little of that now. Yeah. Now that I have success. Right? 'Cause it, then it becomes a different level of, I know there's more eyes watching me. So, oh, let's see, you know, how Tiffany does in her launch. Oh, let's see what, oh, what guests does she have on? Or how does this, you know, how does this do? So I can get into my head now. But in the beginning, I told almost nobody. I had to learn that the hard way. I was excited once I finally decided. And like a little kid, I told people and then people projected their own fears on me.

Mm-hmm.

I have someone who is now, I will not say their name, who is a pretty big podcaster who I told, who I thought was very safe to tell, who said, there's no money in podcasting. It's a waste of your time.

Oh man.

This is very comical.

What a lie.

This is very comical to me now. So I was, I would say be more discerning. You also don't have to tell anyone. You can also block people in your family cuz it's usually people you know.

Did you like start a different account that no, none of your friends?

I didn't have social media. I started, I started my podcast with nothing. Like I went the opposite of what most people do where they have a built up following somewhere.

Mm-hmm.

I did the opposite. I started the show first. So what I told myself is, first of all, no one knows who I am. And no offense, you guys, no one knows who you are either, right? Yeah.

And no one's paying attention either. Like, very rarely are people like really paying attention to what you—

Yeah. I mean, not at, not at this point.

Yeah.

You know, I'm not like a Kardashian. Yeah.

Right.

So no one's paying attention. Also, yeah, it is, it is uncomfortable and embarrassing if something didn't work, but isn't it more embarrassing to not even try?

Mm-hmm.

When it's something that you want? I'd be more embarrassed for myself because embarrassment's really shame.

Yeah.

I would feel more shame to not pursue something that was on my heart for this long that I want to pursue and continue to avoid it and make excuses. That's gross.

Yeah.

Than to actually go and attempt and try to do the thing. But it's a really real feeling. And my show— but it's not like I have some glorious story that in 3 months I was on the top of the charts and That's not how it went, but there was that steady growth and it was like, okay, but yeah, you know, it's like I probably had like 3 listeners. Well, that's amazing. I mean, that's 3 more people that were listening before.

Yeah. What is your business model with Project Me today? So you've got your podcast and what else does it entail, that brand?

So I have the ecosystem that all feeds off of each other is I have a business coaching academy. So primarily I teach my emotional-based sales techniques. I teach how to sell in a way that feels genuine and good to you and to others, like with no manipulative tactics in the way that I had to learn how to sell in order for it to work for me. And so I teach a lot of that and profitable content creation. So things that are naturally in my wheelhouse that I'm excellent at. So then people buy my various programs, they buy courses, they buy high-level coaching from me, and I do my own promotion on my own podcast. I used to have sponsors, but I make a lot more money promoting my own stuff, at least as how my model is right now.

Yeah.

So that's my main form of advertising along with content. And so I do speaking and I have different, I have different revenue streams. So a great way to look at it is with a personal brand is you have a department store. So Project Me with Tiffany Carter, like, is the name on the store like a Nordstrom's? Well, Nordstrom's has what, lingerie, shoes, makeup. You have different departments. Did, did all those departments exist from day one? No, they build on each other. Look at Alo. Alo didn't— Alo has shoes now, right? They didn't always have shoes.

They add on, right, different departments within the brand based on what their audience needs and wants.

Exactly. So mine evolves based on what my people believe they need and want, and also what I want to experiment with. So I do a lot of hedging. I'll put out there what I know is the candy that people want. But then I'll also experiment with something that like sounds really fun and exciting to me because then if it fails, I'm still okay.

Yeah. Give me an example of that.

So I'm doing it right now. I know that before I go to launch something, I'm, I'm putting together a paid-for where you're buying a ticket to an online event that I'm doing. Okay. I really like an online thing as an introvert versus an in-person event. I've never done that before. Have I seen people do versions of it? Yes. Have I seen anyone do it in the way that I have this idea for? No. That's an experiment. There's not— there's no real proof of concept, but I have an idea. So because I'm going to be putting— investing money and time and energy into it, I want to hedge and make sure that I am focusing on promoting something that already works, that people already pay for and bring in an influx of cash so that if this thing flops, we're still rolling in it over here.

Yeah, I do the same thing. I'm just like, I, I know exactly what you mean. It's like being able to have like a budget of money that you can just experiment with and see if it works. So I found you from Instagram and a lot of your reels have went viral. And, um, something that's really unique about you is that you talk a lot about entrepreneurship, but you also talk a lot about spirituality. And astrology. And I find that really interesting cuz I interview celebrities and billionaires and like usually they're not talking to me about Mercury in retrograde or portals or some of the stuff that you talk about on Instagram. And I think that there's a lot that we can learn. I'm somebody who really believes in like manifestation and positivity and optimism. And I truly believe that one of the reasons why I have one of the biggest podcast networks in the world is because I spoke it out to the world when I first started podcasting, and it was a dream that I always had, and it just like happened super organically. And sometimes it feels like I tried really hard, but at the same time I didn't try hard.

Everything like kind of like came to me. And I think it's 'cause I was so positive and optimistic about this dream that like it had to be for me, you know? And so first of all, I'm curious to understand Let's start with manifestation, and then I wanna get to some like definitions, cuz like I'm not an expert in this space, but let's start with manifestation. Like how do you feel about manifestation? You talked about abundance walks. I'd love to learn more about that too.

I've been practicing and studying manifestation, law of attraction since I lost all of that money at 30 years old. That's when I knew I had a, problem with money, with success. I had done like a lot of people had done, and they read, you know, The Secret, and they had some entryway into it. But I was able to be attached to that and be able to hear that really quickly. It really resonated with me. And I was starting to understand how this stuff works. And so that's why I teach it in all of my stuff. So it's not about like, oh, I just— but you're right, you said I just spoke it into existence, it happens. Well, you also have to actively manifest. There's passive manifesting, visualization and all of that stuff, but actively manifesting, acting as though the damn thing is happening and it's uncomfortable. But then that's what makes the thing happen because you're anchoring it in with action.

Yeah.

So I'm a big proponent of that. What's funny when you say, you know, the billionaires and all these people you've interviewed, all of those people that I've had the privilege of being in boardrooms with, on airplanes with, wherever with, lot of them are all into this stuff.

Yeah. Well, they're into manifestation, I guess more so what I meant is like the astrology part of it. Mm-hmm. They don't really, or they don't talk about it at least. A lot of them are like, to your point, all the billionaires I've talked to, They're extremely positive and they're really, uh, they really stress the importance of like the words that you say and like the, the words that you think and how you believe and like your belief system and everything like that. So totally agree with you on that. So let's talk about some of these terms that I, that I hear about on social media from you. So you call this the fire horse year.

Yeah. So this is Chinese astrology. This is nothing that I made up. This only happens once every 60 years.

Mm-hmm.

Last year was so insane for me, and I'm talking like went through an ego death. What do I mean by that? Where you are humbled beyond humbled and you are forced into a new identity that you've been resisting. This has happened to me other times in my life. Last year was insane. I, decided, as I do, to be very uncomfortable and vulnerable, and I just shared about it. And it turns out there were tons of people. And then the more I peeled back the layers, I find out the numerology tied to it, and that we were in a snake year, which is about shedding, and going into a fire horse year, which is about going full-blown towards what we're, what we're meant to go towards. And it's really uncomfortable, and it's really intense because all the things you have to release are gonna be brought to the surface and in your face, so you're forced to do something about it. And it was validating everything I was experiencing and so many other people. And I genuinely believe, from a spiritual place, those of us who are awake and have so much good to do in the world, we're having, like, a grand rising, a grand awakening.

Mm-hmm. But it's also incredibly uncomfortable. And there's a reason why we're feeling this intense energy right now, and even that feeling of, "But I'm not sure what to do with it or where to go with it." It's a lot. It's like holding back a racehorse. You can no longer hold back going after the thing that you wanna go after, going to that next level. You just can't anymore. And you've got to go there. And it is, it is a big undertaking, and it sounds wild, and it sounds whack, but obviously millions of people resonated with that.

Yeah.

There's a bigger force at play here. Whatever it is you believe in, it's well beyond us.

Yeah.

More than I believe that we all realize, and I'm going with it.

Okay, so we're in this fire horse year, which is basically pushing us towards I guess our destiny, like what we're truly supposed to be doing. And part of that is there's gonna be identity shifts. And you talk about this ego death, which I just think is like such an interesting concept. And I think it's like a quantum ego death.

I mean, I like that term. Yeah. We're in order to quantum jump, some people say quantum leap, I exchange the two back and forth. You have to step into a new identity. So when you went from being, you know, the corporate version of you to the entrepreneur version of you, that is a different person.

Mm-hmm.

That is a different identity. You quantum jumped there. So you can't quantum jump without having an identity shift. We have about 5 to 7 identity shifts in a lifetime. Maybe you're someone who went from, right, not having kids to now being a mom. That, that is an identity shift in of itself.

Yeah.

Right? So those things require us to let go of so much deep stuff.

Yeah.

And in order to let go of that stuff that's subconscious, the icky sticky stuff that's holding us back, we have to be humbled beyond belief. Hence an ego death. The ego is what's holding us back.

Mm-hmm.

You can't do that. Who do you think you are? What will so-and-so think? That has to die off in order for you to move forward. And that doesn't mean all of your stuff dies off at once. But mine, and I'm being really raw here, you guys.

Yeah, tell us.

I had my most successful profitable year of my entire life in 2024.

Okay.

I'm talking printing money.

Mm-hmm.

Like with the, with the most ease. To where I started to go, is this real? Right? Well, that's, eh, now we're in, that's interesting territory in of itself. The clock struck midnight in 2025, and it was like someone turned the faucet off. My ego did not like this because the story I was telling myself is, oh my gosh, all of my hard work paid off. I don't really ever have to work again. You know, all those stories.

Yeah.

I had a lot of, which I didn't realize, my self-worth and value was being tied to my level of financial success. And I didn't know how much. I didn't know how much until it was stripped away, thankfully temporarily. And that put me into an ego death. So some people go through a shocking divorce.

Some people get, I think when I got fired from my radio station job, that was like total, 'cause my whole identity was wrapped into working at this really popular radio station. And I was Hala from Hot 97. And like, I really had a big ego death and it was, there's a lot of mourning in that.

Oh yeah. I mean, I was on my knees. I was, I realized, at a certain point because I'd been here before. I've coached people through this stuff. You know, it happens to public figures, and some of them will talk about it, like where their next album came from, or they put out their third book, you know, nothing took off in that book, and— but their identity is being a best-selling author. So you're having to have that ego separate from your true self because that's not our value. That's external stuff. And I didn't realize I was so attached to that. I would have liked to have thought I was completely detached. But that's what happens before we have a quantum jump, is we have to get stripped down like a bow and arrow being pulled back. We gotta get stripped down to spring to our next level. And it's excruciating.

Why is it called, like, quantum leap, quantum jump?

I think it's a take on, like, quantum physics, neuroscience, the fact that we play with energy and that we're all energy beings and there's a greater play at work here. You know, there's something that's in the, so to speak, 5D that has an energetic pull of pulling us forward, which I would have laughed, by the way, at this stuff even probably 6 years ago. I would have— had a character and imitated me. In fact, I have had a character that imitated the stuff I talk about now because it sounded kind of wackadoo.

Yeah.

Until you go through it and you start seeing, oh, wow, like, there is really a greater play at work and things that are beyond my control, and everything really is happening for me, even the really dark, horrible stuff.

Either way, I feel like it's a positive way to look at change. There's a lot of benefit in thinking that this is a year that I'm gonna go tackle my dreams. Yeah. Or even this is a year that I'm supposed to shed the bad, except if you use it as an excuse to actually like hold you back. So what are some ways that people use these types of things like Mercury in retrograde? What is that and how can people actually end up using that as a way to procrastinate? And how can you use these things as a way to be productive instead?

I mean, our brains are very clever and manipulative. If someone wants to not do something— remember, took me 10 years to start Project ME— we can come up with anything. Oh, Mercury's in retrograde, which is where everything gets wacky. Communication, tech breaks, relationships fall off.

I think it happens like 4 times a year or something, right? 3 or 4 times a year.

I don't claim to be an expert in that. I think it's 3 or 4 times a year. So yeah, there's 3 or 4 times a year that you can make excuses. Some people use their own sign, like I'm a Virgo. I can use a lot of things as an excuse as a Virgo, 'cause we're nuts, right? It's like people will use their Enneagram or their Human Design, any of that stuff as an excuse if you wanna make an excuse.

Yeah.

So some of it is true, it's at play, right? That, so this stuff is at play. There's things that are going on. What's your sign?

I'm a Taurus.

Oh, we are very compatible, by the way.

Oh, cool.

So we can say, right, there are elements of being a Taurus that are true about you, but that's— it's just an element. It's an interesting point that doesn't define you.

Mm-hmm.

I would check in with yourself and go, am I— is this a clever excuse? Because there's always a way. I mean, if I found a way with all the stuff that I've gone through, I promise you there's a way, but our egos will come up with the most insane, convincing, clever excuses when we're terrified of doing something to the point of where years go by. Yeah. And it happens in our personal lives too.

Mm-hmm.

We can talk ourselves into anything and out of anything. So what are we doing here? Is this really supporting me? I would only use these things as tools to support you.

Yeah. Like, how can you take whatever you learn about astrology and ensure that it's helping you, like, accomplish your goals? What is Mercury in retrograde? Like, you, you talked about it a little bit, but what is it exactly?

What I believe it is here for us is to expose and bring to the surface what we're not seeing and what we no longer want to tolerate. So it could be boundaries. It could be clients you've been hanging on to just for money, but you really don't want to have that kind of client anymore. It could be offers in your business that no longer feel fun or feel good, but again, you're hanging on to them because you feel like you have to. And so it brings things to our faces that we're forced to see. How does it do that? A lot of people feel exhausted. They sick, plans cancel, so you end up spending more time in stillness, more time alone, 'cause that's when the truth comes out. Not when we're distracted, not when we're working, not when we're working out, not when we're doing chores. It comes when we are at bay, when we are at rest. That's why we have our best ideas, like in the shower.

Yeah. Or taking a walk. Right.

Or on vacation. And it's also where the most healing happens. And this is why so many people avoid being without headphones in, with having that time to be with themselves, to journal that's undistracted without the phone in their hand, 'cause that's when all of our feelings come up. But that's the stuff that needs to come up in order for you to shed that old identity and be able to define the new one you're stepping into. I spent years avoiding doing all this. Like, anytime I had a therapist who told me to journal, I was like, "This person's fired. I don't have time to journal." Right? And it's really because the truth came out when I journaled. The real, raw truth of how I was feeling and what I really wanted in my life because I was in analog mode, sitting there with myself. And that's what Mercury retrograde calls us to do, which is why all the wildness occurs and why it's so uncomfortable.

If Mercury in retrograde is happening, is your guidance then to make sure that you have moments of stillness of thought to understand like how you pivot with anything that's happening in your life right now?

I would ask the question, with stuff that's going on, it's usually repeated stuff. It's also common to have a lot more money going out than coming in during that time. What is this trying to show me? What is Mercury retrograde trying to teach me right now? You can also do this at any other time of the year when you keep getting whacked in a certain area of your life. The universe, your higher power, is trying to get your attention with something, even if it's a physical illness or pain. What is this trying to show me? What is this trying to get me to pay attention to? You might not get the answer right away, but you've planted the seed, just like when you're ideating something for a business, you're not gonna necessarily get it while you're, like, sitting there with your laptop.

Yeah.

But you've put it out there, and it'll come to you. You'll get some kind of a sign. Maybe this episode is that for some people listening.

Mm-hmm. So we talked about quantum jumping, quantum leaping, which is essentially, like, transitioning to a new identity, but there's a pre-period called quantum crumble. That I learned about from you. What is quantum crumble?

Oh, it's the— it's the worst. It's what happened when I was saying in 2025, where everything feels like it's crumbling. And I need to say that word because it's not— it really isn't. Was I destitute? You know, like it wasn't really crumbling, but it feels like you're in a thousand pieces and you're Humpty Dumpty and you're never getting put back together again. And that is the crumbling of the old self. And that's when most people quit. That's when most people go, oh, this is proof, evidence. It's the opposite of getting a sign from the universe, right? Oh, this is a sign from the universe telling me I shouldn't do the thing. I shouldn't start. I shouldn't go after this, whatever it may be. And that's not what's happening. What's happening is, is you are being stripped. You are being repositioned to propel forward into a quantum jump. This is not saying what you're doing isn't working. It's to redirect you in a way that's actually better. We don't know what's best, and this is a Virgo saying this, and I think I know everything, right? Like, we don't know what is best for us. There is a higher source involved that ultimately knows, in my opinion.

I do not feel like it's Tiffany Carter, I know everything that's best for me in my life. Obviously not. I had to hit the, the glass ceiling. I would've never started a business.

Mm-hmm.

Ever in a million years if that hadn't have happened.

So part of this is manifesting your future identity, right? Visualizing your future identity and who you wanna be and what you wanna accomplish so that you can make this transformation, right? So help us understand how you manifest. And what are some of the tactics that you do to visualize and manifest your life?

It's changed over time. I used to be more of the vision board person, the person who had the crystals, read all of the books, you know, spoke it into the universe. And I still do some of that. What I focus on now is manifesting through my body. I can tend to be heavy above the neck, an overthinker, an over-analyzer, obviously a talker. And that's nice, but if my nervous system is not bought into the manifestation that it's actually available and possible for me, it doesn't matter how much I tell myself up here it's gonna happen. So that's when I started doing the abundance walks. I go for a walk. This can be, you know, I have abundance walks that are guided meditation things for people that are free you guys can get. But I'll sometimes go with just music or with nothing, and I make a point of looking around me of evidence of abundance and releasing during that walk the stuff that I have resistance, my fears, and allowing that to release to get myself back into the state that I call the abundance zone from being in fear and scarcity.

What are you saying to yourself on these walks? Like, to release that fear, you're like, I release XYZ. Like, what do you say to yourself? My—

probably my number one thing I say is, I'm safe and I'm secure. I'm supported at all times, over and over again. And I release what no longer is serving me, even if that's uncomfortable, and I trust that's making space for the abundance that's to come. I will also ask a lot of times during the walk, I have to be careful not to get greedy with it, but I will ask the universe for a sign that I'm headed in the right direction. Of where I'm wanting to go, and please make it clear, and please make it pleasant. And as long as I'm not scanning for the sign, which my ego can do, but I've truly let that go, there will be something that ends up happening at some point in the next 48 hours where it's like, wow, okay, I hear you. I got it. And it might not always be what I wanna hear.

Can you give us an example of that happening?

It just happened to me recently. So I went to one of my clients' weddings. This invite got lost in the mail. She was like, oh, I can't believe Tiffany's not RSVPing. Thankfully she texted me. You guys don't do your wedding invites in calligraphy, by the way. Apparently the US Postal Office does not read calligraphy well.

Yeah, I could see that happening.

So this wedding, which I was not aware of, was on this like gorgeous private island. I had no idea where I was going. I had a lot of uncertainty about where I was going. I felt safe and secure, but I wasn't clear.

Yeah.

And I, I was really looking for clarity in a particular area of my life. So I went for a walk on the beach and I asked the question. I said, I really wanna do this. I'm, and I'm not trying to gatekeep, I'm just not sharing yet. Yeah. Because it's not released yet. I really want clarity on that this is really my divine direction. It's not my ego trying to force it, that it's coming from a pure state, and I'm putting my energy and resources in the right place. But I need this sign to be undeniable because you know how I am.

Yeah.

And I have to have things be clear. Now, I did start scanning. For my environment, like, is there a feather? Is that a sign? You know, oh, there's a, there's a bird.

Is that it?

And I went, no, no, no, we've gotta fully let it go. I know that. And I really let it go. I went and like played in the water. I was collecting some shells. And I did notice, and this was a long beach walk, and I was almost back at the resort, and I was like, oh, interesting. I guess, you know, I'll see, I'll see this sign at some point.

Mm-hmm.

But I guess it wasn't on this walk. That's okay. And I almost tripped on it. And I look down— ugh, the picture's on my Instagram, you guys, so this isn't like some fictitious thing. And someone made a sandcastle-type thing. It was a cross, a giant cross and a giant heart next to each other. And it was like just far enough from the water that it wasn't being washed away. And I went, oh my God, I asked for an undeniable sign and there it is. And I, and then I made sure to say thank you. And of course I documented it for social media.

I love that story. I can't wait to hear what it's guiding you to do. That, that's so exciting. So I'd be amiss if I didn't ask you a question about emotional selling since this is an entrepreneurship podcast before we go. What would you say is the number one mistake people do on their sales calls? We talked a lot about being thirsty, but like any other mistakes that people do in in their sales conversations, not just calls? And then what is your like number one piece of advice to be better at selling without being manipulative?

Number one, you're talking too much. So I have stickers that are made in my programs for people to put wherever they can just see it that say STFU. I try to make things fun. We overtalk. We overtalk when we're nervous, we overtalk when we're eager, we overtalk out of excitement. And the less you talk in any conversation, the significantly much higher likelihood that you're going to land that sale, that opportunity, that deal. You need to have the other person talking more and you listening more. If you're not listening, you don't know what the hell it is they need. The other thing I would say that would you implement the STFU, and you implement this next thing, there's no way that you will not increase your close rate, period, end of story. I don't care what industry you're in. Spend more time on really understanding emotionally why someone wants that thing. And I don't care if it's a house. I have a longtime, very well-known tire company as a client, so it can be as unsexy as tires, whatever it may be. We can kind of want to, like, speed things up or whatever. It should be to the point where people get emotional with you.

You speed through that, you rush through that, even if it's, you know, with good intentions, you're trying to be respectful of someone's time, it's not gonna work.

What are the questions that we ask to get that out of somebody?

Some of the questions, it depends on the person. Is, "I can sense that you're wanting this thing, and it's more than you losing the weight. It's more than you having a big platform or you making all of this money or getting your book in the hands of, you know, more people and being a known author. There's something deeper here for you. What is that?" Hmm. And then, "STFU." And then sometimes people, 'cause they're nervous or maybe they're not a verbal communicator, they might go, oh, you know, I just, I just know it's a good thing and I want to help people, or I want it to increase my confidence, or I want to be able to, you know, support my family and have more options. No, no, no, that's not what I mean. We gotta go layers beneath that. It's never about just the confidence, it's never about the money, it's never about the weight loss. It's what they believe that is going to get them. So you gotta go layers below that. So that's what I mean by spending more time on it, just like you do with me. Yeah. You're asking me questions and then I answer, but you wanna go deeper, you ask a deeper level question.

So a lot of people believe emotional selling can be manipulative and they feel like, well, if I'm playing on people's emotions, I'm kind of tricking them into the sale because I'm like, triggering them, or, you know, what's your pushback against that?

If you're a manipulative person and you have a manipulative agenda by nature, then yes, you are manipulating them. And there are people who do that. I call them fantasy marketers. I've bought products that overpromised, underdelivered, and, and have done that. But if you're coming at it from a genuine space of determining of what it is someone wants, what is it they believe they need, and is this going to help move the needle for them in either lessening a struggle or getting them closer to what they want, then all you're simply determining is if it's a match. But I think it comes down to, is your agenda going into it? Is the agenda anything other than, "Let's see if this is a good match"? And a good fit so that you get the results you're looking for. Now that's not manipulative. That's you being a helpful person.

Yeah.

But if it's like, I need, I need to get the sale, I need to get this person to buy, like, let's land this deal.

Even the way that you show up to that call when you— because that's how I show up to my calls. I'm similar to you where I have an agency that I'm not really looking to grow. I have like 20 clients a year. I'm really happy with the size. I'm trying to grow my network. And even with my network, I'm very selective with the podcasters in my network. And I always show up like, just like, is this gonna be like a good mutual partnership? And I feel like when you show up from that kind of a mental headspace, like you show up really confident, you don't seem pushy. You're really trying to figure out like, can you actually help this person? And do you actually wanna work with this person? You're not just like coming on desperate trying to make the sale.

Yeah. And in the beginning, you know, I, as I shared.

Yeah.

I was coming at it with an agenda, even though I didn't think I was being manipulative, but I guess in a way I was. I was trying to manipulate this to get the sale. Well, therefore, I didn't get the sale.

Yeah.

Right? And that didn't mean I was a bad person or some shyster. I would've absolutely delivered, in fact, over-delivered for them. But it was where I was coming at it. And I had to learn that the hard and expensive and painful way so I could teach all of you not to do that. And now I know it's not worth it if it's not the best fit for both of us.

Mm-hmm. So I end my show with two questions. Uh, first of all, great job, great advice that you gave today. Uh, the first question is, what is one actionable thing our young improfitters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?

Learn the highest income generating skill that we have available to us right now, and that's profitable content creation. Even if the thought of you going on video sounds horrible, you don't have to go on video. There's always a way. That's not the only form of profitable content creation, but geek out on it and give yourself time to really learn that. And it'll take, whether it's a business starting from scratch or one many years in, to another level. Even if you end up outsourcing it, you can't outsource something well unless you understand really how that skill is done.

Do it yourself first. And should they be outsourcing it to AI?

I love this question. AI is a tool, just like GPS is a tool. Anyone remember MapQuest? All it is is a tool. If I outsource my content and did just a rip and read, copy and paste from AI, terrible. And listen, I have my own AI. I have Coach Tiff AI that was programmed for 3 years with my insane brain of me pacing around my house and talking to it and all of that. And even then, it loses the energy. Maybe at some point it'll be that sophisticated, but you don't want to be an AI information source.

Yeah.

Why in the hell then would they watch your videos or buy you or lean into you when they could just then go to AI. Like, where's your spin on it? Do I think it can get you 60% there? Absolutely. When done well.

Yeah, you, you still have to have your own POV. And I think that human perspective and POV is going to become more and more, uh, desirable, expensive, sought after, because everybody's just like putting out AI slop these days. Okay, so our last question is, what is your secret to profiting in life?

I would say my biggest secret is the thing that most people avoid doing, and that is the gut-wrenching, continued inner healing work of being so self-aware and being willing to have people outside of yourself, you know, experts, mentors, coaches, who are able to point those things out in you and you being able to work through them on a daily basis and being that humble to also be able to talk about them.

And like take that advice.

Yeah.

Yeah. Tiffany, this was such a great conversation. Thank you so much for joining us. Where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do?

You can go to the podcast Project Me with Tiffany Carter on all the things and on socials, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram at Project Made with Tiffany.

Amazing. Yap fam, I have to say one of the most interesting ideas from this conversation is that self-worth sets the ceiling for what we can create, earn, and sustain. Your self-worth is your net worth. Tiffany learned that lesson the hard way. When she was 30 years old, she saved up $1 million and then she lost nearly all of it after investing into a scam, essentially. And what makes the story so compelling is that Tiffany does not view it as a financial mistake alone. She doesn't view it as like she got scammed. She viewed it as she wasn't ready to have that money. Looking back, she realized she did not trust herself to hold that level of wealth, and that external result reflected an internal belief. The fact that she lost all her money was that she was not ready to have that money. She trusted somebody else more than herself. And that idea showed up throughout the entire conversation, whether we're talking about money, business, relationships, or opportunities. Many of our biggest challenges are rooted in the stories we carry about what we deserve. And often those stories come from childhood and from when we were teenagers.

And when those stories are driven by fear, scarcity, or the need for validation, they influence the decisions we make in the present without us even realizing it. So yeah, fam, do the work. Get a coach, get a therapist, and find somebody who's gonna see what you're doing and the patterns that you're doing, who's gonna be able to help guide you and recognize the patterns that you're going through. Another insight that stood out was Tiffany's perspective on people pleasing. She called people pleasing lying. She described it as a form of self-abandonment. Every time we say yes when we mean no, or ignore our instincts, or sacrifice our standards to make somebody else feel comfortable, we actually weaken trust in ourselves. And over time, that shows up everywhere. It affects our boundaries, our confidence, our decision-making, and ultimately the results that we can create in our businesses. The final takeaway is that growth often requires more than just new strategies. It requires a new identity, a quantum leap, so to speak. And Tiffany talked about repeatedly letting go of old versions of herself in order to build something bigger. Not because she needed to work harder, but because she needed to think differently, trust herself more deeply, and stop operating from old fears.

So there's one idea I hope you take from this episode. It's this: the next breakthrough in your business or life may not come from doing more. It may come from changing the beliefs that are driving your actions in the first place. Thanks for listening to this episode of Young and Profiting. If you listen, learn, and profited from this episode, drop us a 5-star review wherever you listen. You can also find me on Instagram @yapwithhala or LinkedIn by searching my name. It's Hala Taha. This is your host, Hala Taha, AKA the Podcast Princess, signing off.