Transcript of From Breakdown to Breakthrough: Maurice Benard on Mental Illness and Healing

I've never heard anybody's knees under a table like this because she was so scared. I said, Mom, I'm getting up. She goes, I got to talk to the doctor. I got the doctor right here. And I said to the dude, I said, Listen, just say what I tell you to say. So here's the doctor, Mom. She goes, Who's this? Doctor, whatever the name. She goes, My son says you're letting him get out. Yeah, she can get out. My mom didn't buy it for a second. Call the real doctor. We want to extend a heartfelt thank you to our listeners. Because of your incredible support, we're Out of Time has reached number one on Apple's mental health podcast chart, number two on the health and fitness chart, and number 26 overall. We couldn't have done this without you.

Thank you for being part of this journey with us. Today, I'm joined by Emmy Award-winning actor and mental health advocate, Maurice Bernard, best known for his three-decade run as Sunny Kerenthos on ABC's General Hospital, Maurice has been open about living with bipolar disorder and helping others through his show, State of Mind. We're talking about mental health, resilience, what's next for him, and yes, a little bit of general hospital, too. How are you doing, Maurice?

Doing great, man. Glad to be here.

Before we get started, I've got to tell on myself.

All right.

When I was a kid, without an alarm, my body knew what time to wake up. I would wake up at 1: 58 sharp, go to the bathroom, and be back in bed for general hospital. It occurred to me as I was thinking about you on the way over here, you're on the Mount Rushmore of Soapstars. It's you, Luke and Laura, Susan Lucci, and that's it. That is my Mount Rushmore.

Well, yeah, I put Eric Braden on that, too.

Okay, well, there's only four people in Mount Rushmore.

You'd have to put them over here on the side. Okay. Yeah, it's been an incredible run. I've been on 32 years.

But you were only supposed to be on for a couple of weeks.

Yeah. What happened was I was supposed to be on... It was supposed to be a six-month contract, then we made a deal for a year. I thought I'd come in, kick and get the hell out, but I actually started loving it. But the problem was early on when I first started, the first three weeks, I had my third Nervous Breakdown Manic episode. Quit the show. Told my wife, took my shoes off, my socks off, and said, I'm going to be a preacher. I'm going to go around town and preach. One One thing after another, one night, I drank a bottle of red wine and threatened the killer. I knew that I was going through my third breakdown. Maybe not at that moment, I knew. I was actually drunk and just wanted to scare her. I've never heard anybody's knees under a table like this. Because she was so scared. She called my psychiatrist, and she said, I think he's going through another nervous breakdown. He goes, Put him on the phone. She goes, Okay, and put me on the phone, my psychiatrist. I'm like, Hey, Hey, Chuck, what's going on? How are you doing? I get off the phone, he calls Paula, and he says he's going through a breakdown.

She says, How do you know? Because he's never called me Chuck. Sure enough, it was hell.

Do you know why you had that nervous breakdown?

Yeah. Why? Because I was off my medication for two months. I mean, two years.

Why were you off your medication for two years?

Because I had come to LA I got a big job right away playing Desi Arnaz. What's the matter, honey? I like that.

I like that.

I thought, let's move into this lavish place, this house, and I just didn't take my medication. Every time I've stopped taking my medication, I have a breakdown.

You're on medication now?

32 years straight, no breakdown.

No breakdown, 32 years.

Lithium. It's on the cover of my book. Love and Lithium Saved My Life. It really did.

Good for you, man.

Yeah. All right. Sorry to start out.

No, that was great. That was great. I was going to start off with who's sleeping with who on the show. That's what I really wanted to do.

Yeah, and I don't even know it to be honest.

Yeah, that's okay. You were diagnosed with bipolar disorder at Me, too. Now, back then, I didn't even know that that was a thing. Yeah, me too. They actually diagnosed you as bipolar, what, 45 years ago or so?

Yeah, but when they put me in a mental institution at 21, and I had my 22nd birthday in there, which is the timing of it, right? Right. Here I am bars on the windows and people yelling at night, and that's my birthday. They could not tell me what I had. I was in there for two and a half weeks, so it took about two months to He diagnosed me. They said, Is he an alcoholic? No, he doesn't drink. Is he a drug addict? No. Then we don't really know what it is. Finally, a friend of mine now, my psychiatrist, Dr. Who told Paula that he's never called me Chuck, I walked in and I was devastated, man. He listened to me and at the end, he said, You're manic depressed. I said, What is that? It's a chemical imbalance, and I'm going to put you on lithium, you're going to be fine. Now, when I asked him a couple of years ago, How was I? He goes, It was really horrible the amount of medication they had you on. But it took two months.

That's all these psych hospitals are the same. I guess. You walk out of there and you're on You've got so many drugs. It's just it's too much.

But Richard, now, they would tell you right away you're biteful.

That's right. But that's why I said, 45 years ago, it's like they didn't know. That's why you were there for a couple of months.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it was tough. They put you in a seclusion room. I don't think they do it anymore, where they tie you down. When you're a bad boy, when you're a bad boy means You don't want to take your medication, or I jumped on the counter. These big dudes come in, put me in a seclusion room, probably smaller than this, but with a window and a bed. Then they you from your wrist, waist, and your ankles. Mom and dad came in and looked at me like, What is happening to my son?

That's heartbreaking.

Yeah.

Okay. What was the turning point when you decided to start sharing your mental health condition?

Well, about a year or more, a year and a half, when I escaped from the hospital.

No, no, no. Get back to that. Escaping?

Yeah.

That's the good part.

Yeah. All I wanted to do is leave. Every second of the day, there was this little story I don't think I've ever told. It's not a big deal, but it was me at the time. I would go into a room and there was a radio in there. I locked the door because you're not supposed to go in the room. Locked the door. I swear to you, man, Phil Collins's songs would come on like the timing of it. One song was, One More Night. Just give me one. Because I was messed up, I would be like, God, give me one more chance. That's the stuff that was happening in there. But when I escaped, I remember I was...

I want to hear about the jail break. I need to hear about the jail break.

Well, I would always try to get out. One time, I called my mom and said, I'm getting out.

That's hysterical. I mean, they didn't know it.

She'd go, Mauricio. I said, Mom, I'm getting out. She goes, I got to talk to the doctor. I got the doctor right here. It was this big dude with blood all over his lips. I said to the dude, I said, Listen, just say what I tell you to say. Here's the doctor, Mom. He came in. Hello? She goes, Who's this? Doctor, whatever the name. She goes, My son says you're letting him get out. Yeah. Yeah, she can get out. My mom didn't buy it for a second. Call the real doctor. He's like, No, that's not right. They were going to let me out for my first walk. I started planning. I said, Okay, tomorrow But I had hard shoes. There's no way I could. I lost 30 pounds. I went in there weighing 160, and I got to 129. It's horrible. I said, Okay. I went up to a patient. I said, Hey, those tennis shoes, can I borrow? No. Can I pay for it? No. I said, You see this leather jacket? It's $300. If I give you this leather jacket, will you give me your tennis shoes? He goes, I don't know. I go, Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

He goes, Okay. He gave me the tennis shoes. Next day, a nurse, man and a nurse walked me out. I remember, man, like a movie. It was one door, then another door, and then the outside. Get to the outside. I'm lingering, and they're talking, and they start laughing, and I run, and I ran like there's no tomorrow, and I'm running, and I'm running. Then I hear sirens, cops. Then I go into this real estate place. I had no money. I said, Hi, I'm sorry. Is there any way I could use your phone? So I called my two friends. I said, I'm out. Pick me up here at this. Problem was, I'm out front. They drive by, they don't see me, and they keep going, and it's a long ass ways to turn around. So then I have to now run down to the end of the street into a Denny's, and I had to borrow 25 cents to call Well, first time, and now we talked about the homeless, and this is nothing like that. But the first time I felt, Excuse me, can I have 25 cent? Right, it's humbling. Yeah, yes. And embarrassing.

And embarrassing. So I get to the phone, call my buddies. They pick me up, we eat pizza, go home. And then the doctor said, If he wants to stay home that bad, he doesn't have to come back. So I stayed there. Good for you. Yeah, but eight months of depression after that was horrific.

That's why you give homeless people money, folks, because it is embarrassing and dehumanizing. Yes. So give them the money. Okay. It drives me nuts when people aren't of service to others in need It's like that. I see somebody in need, I don't even have to think about it. It's just muscle memory.

I know. Yeah.

You know? Aggravating. What do you think the biggest misconception people have about living with bipolar disorder?

I think if you don't know anything about it and you're living with someone who has bipolar, I mean, if you're not living with somebody who has bipolar, I think any mental illness, a lot of people don't think it's a big deal. I think with me, they do because I got a book, I got this, they've seen me talk. I'm very open like you are. So they're like, okay. But sometimes even with me, when I'm talking about things, I feel like they're thinking.

Thinking what?

Just go take a nap.

Who gives a shit what they think?

See, that's where we... I'm working hard on not caring what people think. You don't have that.

Oh, I've never had that. Thank God.

Yeah. That's a big deal.

Yeah, I was told I was going to get canceled here. I was like, Good luck. Wow. Yeah. Don't be afraid. I know. Don't be afraid to tell anybody anything. I get it. Nobody's important enough to lie to.

Yeah. But I think with mental illness, when I go through panic attacks or whatever I go through, my whole head is worrying what everybody's going to think. Really?

Yeah. Why?

It's the way I'm built.

Bro, you're perfect just the way you are.

I know I am.

Anybody who tells you differently, you tell them, Richard Tate says, Go put it yourself.

You can't get it out of here. It's almost like...

You know what it's like? What? It's like, what are the neighbors going to think?

Exactly. But that's the way I was brought up. Me too.

How did you get out of it? With my grandmother. Well, I told her at a very young age that I don't care with the neighbor's thing, but I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. Okay, now can I have my eggies the way I like them? That's how I handled it.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm much better because I look in the mirror and go, This is killing me.

Explain the part about your upbringing.

Well, the upbringing is very simple. You shouldn't be weak. You shouldn't show any vulnerability. When you're Hispanic, my father's from Nicaragua, my mother's from San Salvador, and you You care what people think enormously. It shouldn't be that way at all, but it is that way. What happens is, because of the way I was brought up, and they loved me to death, and my dad, everything was great. In that way, there's other things that happened, whatever. But we have to pay for what they did. So I'm paying for this care what people think. I I look at you like, That's what I want. Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes you wake up, and there's days where I don't give a shit. Sometimes, it's been about a couple of weeks now. Right, good. Or I don't give a shit. This morning, I got up in a tad, I did. But in the past, all the fucking time, Yeah.

Just to be completely transparent, the only reason I don't care about what other people think is because I hold myself to a higher standard than what anybody else would hold me to. It's perfectionism, right? That's what I'm constantly striving for. Not good for your happiness, but excellent for your upward mobility. That's just the trade-off that I... That's the contract I made with myself a long time ago.

That's incredible. Yeah, I'm lucky.

When you were at your lowest point, who helped you to get out of it? Was there anyone?

Yes. My mother and father, on my first major breakdown, when I was in the mental institution, they Although it's not their fault, but they went to work from 7: 00 in the morning till 4: 00 or 5: 00, and I was alone when I was out of the hospital, going through that depression for eight months. I would get up and curse God. I would roll out of bed. Nothing felt good. The only thing that felt good to me was sleeping and dreaming that I felt good. Because in my dreams, it would be beautiful. Then I'd wake up and I'd have to deal with reality.

You'd wake up and be pissed off. Yeah.

Well, there was bad thoughts. Let's just put it that way for a long time. Then it was my wife who I had met when she was 16. She's helped me through it all. Lately, the last thing that I went through, a couple of things that I went through, was my son.

What happened with your son?

I was in the car once. I was probably at the worst. He gets in the car and he says, What's wrong, dad? I'm crying. I said, I don't think I'm going to make it, buddy. Not this time. He goes, Yes, you are, dad. I said, I don't think I can. He goes, Yes, you can because I'm going to get you through. And he did. It was been amazing.

What's his name?

Joshua.

Joshua is a beautiful boy.

He's the greatest. Now he's a musician and an actor, and things are going for him. Good for him in music, especially.

You're really lucky you had that kid around because parents that kill themselves have children that kill themselves.

Yes. I'll tell you another thing. Can you imagine people that don't have anybody?

Yeah.

Right. Yeah.

They usually come here to me.

Yeah. I would have come to you in my last one.

I would have taken you. I'm sorry you struggled, man.

Thank you.

What would you say to your younger self if you could today?

I would say exactly what we've already talked about, which is don't care about what people think.

You got to get better at it.

Yeah, I think that's a big freaking deal that we don't discuss.

It doesn't mean to be less empatheticNo, no. Or compassionate to anybody. No. It's not what it means. No.

I'm extremely compassionate, very sensitive, vulnerability. It's not that. It's what thinking what somebody's thinking of you, what it to your mind and what it does to you as a person.

You got to get rid of that. Well, the worst part about it is they're not even thinking that 95% of the time. Exactly. They're looking at you going, Wow, that's a handsome man. They're thinking, What's this guy looking at?

Exactly.

You created State of Mind, your podcast, so that people could talk openly and freely on your platform. What made you start it?

I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up, I had anxiety. I said, I'm going to film myself so I can show the people what it's about. As I was doing that, this is no lie, and I just did Family Feud.

You did Family Feud?

Yeah, about two months ago.

That's bitching.

Hold on one second.

I want to do Family Feud. You should. I want to sit in the middle square. Okay.

Is that the middle square? No, that's a... What is it? Family Feud with Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey? No, it's the guy that kiss everybody, that makes out with everybody.

That's the old guy.

What's his name?

Richard Dawson.

God, I loved Richard Dawson.

Remember?

Go on.

It's like, I hear Steve Harvey say on TV. We're talking 2: 00 in the morning. I can't believe these celebrities who film themselves.

On their lowest moment?

I actually laughed, even though I was feeling not good. The next morning, I told my friend, she goes, Why don't you film? Why don't you do state of mind? Not state of mind. Why don't you talk about mental health on the phone? I said, Who cares? Who's going to care? She goes, Just do it. I said, When do I put it out? She goes, Sunday. I said, No, Nobody watches on Sunday. So what I started doing is I was promoting my book at the same time, and I was creating this show on the phone in the car, on Instagram story. Nobody talks for eight minutes on Instagram story. It's like, real quick, right? I did it, and I started getting people, 10,000, 20,000, and I saw it grow. And then I went through hell during the pandemic, but I still went out every Sunday and talked on the phone, not even the people on the phone, and did it. Then from that went to YouTube, and then five years later.

You've been doing the podcast for five years.

Five years, man. Over 500 interviews.

You're excellent at that, by the way.

We're so similar because we're just... I don't know. If you're real and you can be in the moment and you can look Get down for a second, I think those are the guys that I like.

Truthfully, I'm just friends with you so I can sleep with your hosts.

I like to get Susan on my show.

Is she 70 now?

Yeah, last time I saw her, maybe a couple of years ago at the Emmys, we talked.

You know what was great about her? She kept losing every year. Every year.

I know.

That's the best thing that could have happened to her because now she's more famous than everybody else because they're all like, Yeah, what about her?

Yeah, it's very true. Very true. Very true. Yeah. But I like winning.

You like winning?

Did you win? Well, it took me 10 years to win my first one and then another 20 years to win two more.

You won three Emmys? Yeah. We have an Emmy winner, a three-time Emmy winner here, folks. Yeah. No shit.

Yeah.

This morning, we won the Signal Award for our episode with Lamar Odom. Oh, shoot. Isn't that cool?

Yeah, that's very Lamar, where's my doll?

He promised me a doll. Unbelievable. You've had some incredible guests.

Yeah.

Who stood out the most? Or a few of them that stood out the most?

Well, for me, Stephen A. Smith is great. Love him. Frank Grillo from all those movies and everything. He was great. But what stands out to me is when a cop comes on. He says to me, we're talking about darkness and whatnot, and he says, Well... And I said to him, It's pretty safe to say our wives saved our life, right? He says, No. I said, What saved your life? Or who saved your life? Because one night I was in my darkest, and I took my gun, and I put it to my forehead, and the gun jammed. I said, Whoa. He goes, That saved my life. Because after that, I changed completely. That type of stuff. Another girl who came on She had no hand or arm from here, from the elbow. I said, How did it happen? She goes, Well, I was driving and I had my hand out and this truck hit me off. It took my... She said, She'll never forget. When he came in, the doctor said, I got good news and bad news. Good news is you're alive. Bad news is you'll never use that hand again. But that's the stuff that you don't forget.

It doesn't have to be celebrity. I had Sheryl Underwood tell me her husband jumped off a building.

What was your favorite guest?

Damn. It It's like asking your favorite child.

Okay, then we won't do it. That was diplomatic. I couldn't answer that either.

Right? It's really... No.

There's so many good people. I just can't. How do you think we can better support people with mental illness, especially the homeless?

Look, I mean, that is the question, isn't it? How do we fix it or how do we help? I think for mental health, you're doing what you're doing. It's helping. I'm doing what I'm doing. If there was another way to help, I would do it. If you told me, Maurice, We can do this, we can do that, I would be there. But this is my way of doing it. Now, as far as the homeless, this is just everywhere, everywhere, right around my little Studio City place. There's a bunch of homeless people, and it just hits here, man.

We were doing our podcast. Oh, I know. We We had that homeless guy screaming right outside the studio.

Right outside the door.

They're just becoming more aggressive. It feels like they're getting sicker.

Yeah, I agree with you. Well, who's supposed to help that? The governor?

Our governor? Yeah. He's not doing it. No chance.

No.

Not our governor.

Well, what can you do, Richard, to help?

Mental?

No, I'm talking about homeless.

Okay. Well, that's easy, actually. Okay? That can be fixed in two years. There are psychological universities all over California. All there has to do is you get a group of those people that are always graduating, right? You have an executive order that signs off on their hours because you got to do 3,000 hours, and it gets signed off on their hours automatically. Then there's a training program that teaches them how to be golden retrievers and just take them right off the street and put them into treatment. Or long-term housing. It's actually quite simple.

I think it's pretty simple, yeah. Yeah.

It'd take two years, a couple of billion dollars.

Why doesn't anyone want to do it?

Because homeless people don't vote. They don't have anybody speaking for them. All they have are all these little different agencies that if they fix the problem, these agencies go away. So they're incentivized to keep the problem going.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, I've done my work on that.

Yeah, it makes sense.

We're picking people right now off the street and putting them right into treatment. Veterans. We're doing all the veterans. All the veterans come to us. Beautiful. Yeah, we love them.

It's like lithium. Veterans are like lithium. No. My psychiatrist, I did a state of mind two years ago in Graceland. Yeah, with an audience. I don't love doing it with an audience because it's not as personal and subtle, but it was cool. I hadn't seen him in 30 years, man. He came in, I was crying. He said to me on... I didn't know this. I mean, lithium is on the cover of my book. He said, Big Pharma hates lithium. I said, Why? Because it's cheap and it works. They don't want it. You don't hear about lithium. I don't hear about other drugs we hear about, right? Lexapro and It's a problem.

Sunny's character has bipolar disorder. Yes. Was that you?

No. Sunny, they came to me about a year and a half. They knew because I had a breakdown when I started the show. They knew that they came to me and said, Is that right if we have Sunny be bipolar?

That's awesome.

You're like, Cool. Yeah, I said, Yeah, I'm a method actor, so I become this thing. The truth of the matter is it's been incredible for acting, but for my life. At this point, I'm 62 years old, and it takes its toll. It does?

Yes.

Look, Richard, let me explain it to you about acting. The bad actors or not that good actors, they don't go through anything. It's pretty easy. It's the better actors that suffer. Almost the better you are, Because if you're doing that work, so here I am, I am bipolar, playing bipolar. A lot of times, I couldn't shut it off.

Right. It gets you going.

Yes. So... Yes, I've done well and great and all this, but would I trade for not going through the shit that I went through? I don't know. It's almost just easier being a bad actor.

Because you're not in it. You're not all in. You're not all in. Well, that's what you have to do. You have to just get shitty and you'll be fine.

Yeah, but my mom says, Hijo, can't you do it half? I said, Mom, I've tried a little bit. I can't do it. Because then it It feels wrong.

It's hard to turn on.

Yeah. It feels wrong to just go in and not be as deep.

No, you got to do your thing and you got to be you and you got to put it out there best you can. All right. What's happening right now with Sonny? And what's around the corner?

I don't really know what's around the corner. I really don't, or I'd say it because I talk about this stuff. But I'm trying to protect my son, Michael, and I have this new chick that she's really good. Her name is Nazneen Contractor, and she plays ADA Turner. She's the ADA, and I'm the mobster. It's starting to get interesting.

You're going to sleep with the assistant district attorney?

You know what? I haven't heard it. You heard it here first. I haven't had a chick in a long time, Sonny. So we'll see.

I hate it when they don't give you a check on soap operas. It's like, what are you supposed to do there? You've got all the eye candy around and you feel like you're a red-headed stepchild.

Yeah. I've always had… I've had… Sunny and Brenda was a big couple, and then Sunny and Carly, a big couple. I did Sunny Carly with three different actresses.

Who was your favorite actress that you worked with? Just the two of you, the rhythm, the connection. Who was it?

I can never answer that, but I can say this. You got to love the one you're with.

That was the coolest answer.

And I'm not with anybody.

That's the coolest answer you can give. That's good enough for me. All right. You were just with Erika Slayzack on screen doing a scene.

Yeah.

What was that like?

She's I think she's won, I don't know how many Emmys, but she's like a legend. She was great. She told me a story that her husband doesn't watch soap operas, but he's a huge fan of Sunny. I said, Really? She goes, Oh, my goodness, you don't understand. It's all, What does Sunny do? Where's Sunny? Coming out of her was just pretty funny. But we worked together and she was She's great. She's great. She reminds me of Ellen Burstein. Remember her? No. The mother from Exorcist? No.

I never saw the Exorcist.

Let me tell you something.

I don't like scary movies. Great. Or people that end up in jail, movies with people in jail, or movies where people lose their money.

Listen to this. The Exorcist. It's two little stories. One little story is my mom and dad went to go see The Exorcist. I was 10 years old. I was babysat by my brother's girlfriend and sister. As a young boy, I don't know, that's just what it is. I made out with both of them and gave them hickeys.

That was sunny.

Yeah, that was it. But I never saw the Exorcist. My dad saw the excess and couldn't sleep for three nights. Then I finally saw it. Well, Richard, that movie traumatized me to the point when I had my first breakdown in the hospital, I was telling everybody I was the Exorcist. I was spitting on people. It was just horrific. That's Because a lot of what... We'll go back to this, but nervous breakdown or manic episode, being bipolar, whatever. A lot of it is God and the devil fighting each other. And your mind. Most of the time, God wins, but there are times when he doesn't and the person is not here anymore. But that's how it was brought up. It's all very spiritual.

There's been buzz online that you're leaving the show. You're leaving the show?

No. You're not? No. There's always a lot of people I think they're saying I'm dying, too. Like I have cancer or some shit.

Or you're not dying.

No. And I'm not leaving. I got a year left in the contract. Look, I'm going to retire, but I don't think it's going to be before I'm 65.

How old are you now?

62. Right. So it is what it is. They let people say what they say.

Sunny needs to go on till '75.

Well, Yeah, but I don't think Maurice...

How old was Marlon Brando when he put the orange peel in his mouth and then falls over and dies in the Godfather?

Can we look that up?

I guarantee you he had 75. No.

He just acted the old. I think he was no more than 50.

Okay, but he looked 75.

Yeah, but Brando, obviously, he wanted He didn't stop acting forever. He just did it for the money. I think his reasons weren't my reasons. My reasons, Richard, is mentally, it's taxing on me.

But what are you going to do?

No, I know. Before I leave-You got to figure that out.

Don't leave and do nothing. No. Because it's not going to be good for me.

Absolutely. I already know that for sure. When I leave, I'll have a state of mind, at least come in, maybe do that more. Maybe financially, I'm pretty good. But you're right. I already know what happens to my mind when I'm living in it alone.

Guys like you and I don't do well without structure.

Exactly. I'm with you, 100%.

If Sonny were sitting here today with us, what would he tell Maurice?

He would probably say, Don't worry about anything. I got your back.

Well, that would make me comfortable.

You want me to play Sunny right now?

I'd give anything for you to play Sunny right now.

All right, I'll try to get into this, dude. What are you doing? Nothing. Why did you put glasses on? Take them off. Because I want to see your eyes. You don't scare me a second. But I do want to kiss you. How was that?

That was awesome. You did really good. You become a serious man.

It's got to be in there. It's got to get the thing and you got to... It's When I was younger playing Sonny, he was more like a caged animal. So he'd be like, You're f with me right now. Don't f with me. What? That guy. Now, he's older, so he's a little less.

More mellow?

Yeah, a little mellow. But he's still got to be serious.

You've spent three decades on General Hospital. You've spent five five years doing state of mind, helping people. What do you want your legacy to be?

I want my legacy to be I was one of the or the first man to come out and say he was bipolar. I'm not the first because Patty Duke came on way before, but that's a woman. No man had. The legacy has to be something. It's funny when you asked me that, and I think somebody else asked me that, It's not about the acting. I know I've done well, but it's the mental health.

I didn't know that you're one of the first or the first men to come out publicly and say he had bipolar disorder. That's magnificent. That's magnificent because now everybody else is like, Oh, I'm not the only one. I'm not alone. This is a thing. I'm not a weirdo.

Yeah, but I will say when I came out, it was on Oprah. My wife came on. She didn't want to come on. She was eight months pregnant, and then she finally came on because Oprah said, Come on, come on. But nothing... Richard, I was proud to do it. It was Oprah and great. Nothing really happened with mental health from that, except I've seen a big change with the pandemic. That's when it just blew the... Because anybody who's never had it and thought it was nothing now has it. They're like, Oh, shit. This is what that is. You see commercials, I'm Bipolar One. If you're Bipolar... I get smile every time I be on my bed, like this, and I hear, If you're bipolar, what? I'm like, damn, right on.

That comes right after the Restless Souping Syndrome commercial.

All that shit, yeah. I think we're in a better place. But I think, and I think you know this, the suicides are up. I hate to even say it because I know how you feel about it, and I feel the same way.

Well, if we continue to treat each other like shit, that's not going to stop.

No.

Got to be good to each other, people. You got any breaking news for me?

Well, it's not even breaking, but I'm finally going to get Jeanie Francis on state of mind.

Jeanie Francis?

And It's been... Her and I are really good friends, and we work together all the time now. She's fantastic. I've been just saying to her, Whatever you want, this, that, I'll get you hit. She's coming on, so I can't wait.

Maurice, thank you so much for coming today, man. I really appreciate it. It was a great episode.

Thank you. You're a pro, man. I love watching it. I love watching it. You can, if I have to, just Maurice Bernard on Instagram and all my social media, all that stuff. State of mind on YouTube. I'm glad. This was It was fun. But it went so quick.

I know. Do me one last favor. In your best, Sunny, look into that camera and say, See you next Tuesday.

See you next Tuesday. We're out of time.

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