Transcript of ‘About Last Night’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Mallory Rubin

The Rewatchables, second episode of the week. It's brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find The House of R. That's right, with Malorie Rubin. You can find, uh, The Watch with Chris Ryan, the new owner of the Los Angeles Lakers. Congratulations.

Thanks, Bob and Josh and I. We did some—

glad you guys pulled that off. I think you guys are gonna do a great job.

Couch cushions there.

Um, this podcast is a hard R and possibly an NC-17. 40th anniversary about last night, next. This episode of The Rewatchables is presented by the movie Mutiny, only in theaters August 21st. Our guy Jason Statham stars in Mutiny, the new action thriller from the director of Plane. I like that movie. When an international conspiracy turns deadly That always happens. Statham goes off the grid on a one-man mission. I love one-man missions to take down those responsible. And if you're a fan of The Beekeeper, The Meg, or The Expendables— guilty— this is exactly the kind of movie you want to see. Statham, you've sold me. One of the defining action stars of the last 25 years doing what he does best. I agree with that. Think Die Hard on a boat. That sounds great. Mutiny, only in theaters August 21st, rated R for strong bloody violence and language. There you go.

When these movies turn 40.

Is it— you want to start it?

Yeah. I want to ask you, when these movies turn 40, how does it make you feel?

This one really hurts because I remember where I saw it.

Yeah.

Oh, who I was with. Not knowing anything about how a relationship worked and just being like, I don't think this movie taught you that. Unfortunately, I felt like it did when I was 16. I'm like, oh, now I have the blueprint for how a relationship goes.

And it's like, how clarifying.

Wrong blueprint. But this, this really was unconventional for the beginning, middle, end, and then re-rise of a relationship in a movie. I don't remember seeing a lot of these. Yeah, I felt like I was learning a lot in real time.

Yeah, you were probably like closer to Annie Hall than it is like, uh, I don't know, like definitely like St. Elmo's Fire. I mean, it's, it's, it's way closer to something like that.

Yeah, I was thinking things you learn. Yeah, when you're growing up, basic things you learn from a movie. Like how to drink a beer.

Sure.

How to, how to have sex. What sex is like.

Yeah. How to shot tits and ass.

Different positions. What boobs look like. Well, I mean, how to, how to shoot somebody. You find that out on TV or in movies.

Yeah.

How to do drugs. How to like shoot heroin. How would I know that otherwise? I'm like 12.

You're always slamming your head back when you do a line of coke now.

Right.

How do you do this?

How you make meat sauce? I learned from Clemenza. Gotta put the meat in. How to double-cross somebody, and then how to survive a relationship you screwed up.

Mm-hmm.

I think was the legacy of this one. But you love this movie. I asked you to do it. You were delighted.

I was thrilled. Thrilled. I mean, what a treat. This is— in some ways, I feel like we've always been talking about this movie with each other over our, what, 13, 14— gosh— years together. I'd say that it is referenced either directly or subtly in every conversation that we've had for a decade and a half.

And, uh, a lot of the lines.

Yep, yep.

Things I just took from this movie that I don't even think I really realized it until I was studying it.

Yeah, exactly.

In 2 days.

Exactly.

Yeah, also a movie I could have done blind. I really did think about it.

Yeah, you had told us you might do that. So does that mean you decided against it? You revisited the, the sacred text?

You know why I decided against it?

Because I wanted to watch it again.

I was thinking, I want to watch this.

Of course.

As we push towards 2028, I think we should consider Blind Month.

Blind month.

Yeah.

Is that movies about blind people or is it just no prep?

No, it's all about it. It's Bird Box.

It's—

are there notes? We just have like blank categories. What do we do?

Uh, I think we would just have to just like see how much of the pod we could do based on memory. But maybe Craig could be like, you guys should do most rewatchable scene here or something like that.

Like Craig, or Craig could say each category.

Yeah.

I'd be ready to do it. This movie, I don't know why I've seen at least once a year for 40 years.

Once a year?

I don't know. It's average.

So this is your— like, I watch the entire extended edition cut of the Lord of the Rings trilogy every Thanksgiving. That's a tradition that my husband and I share.

Yeah.

The last couple of years I've done it closer to Christmas.

Lord of the Rings is a movie?

About to find out. It's a holiday tradition. It's our legitimately our favorite thing we do all year. Okay, so your version of that is watching About Last Night by yourself?

No.

With your family over the holidays?

If it's on, it's like, oh, this is on. My wife loves this. There's very few movies that I love and my wife love equally.

Yes.

And this is interesting. Yeah, it's probably less than 15.

My wife was salty because I just knocked this out And she was like, I would have watched that with you. She was, like, hurt.

Was she home?

She was around, but I wasn't like, hey, 8:00 PM tonight, let's watch About Last Night. She was—

I don't know, man. It feels like it connects to the commentary in the film. You're not going to be Siamese twins. You're going to maintain your own lives.

Make your own choices. When you told her you watched the movie, did you sit in the dark in a red chair with a cigarette?

With a cigarette and just be like, this isn't working out.

Unbelievable. The mood lighting in that scene, I'm going to see your face for this.

Incredible.

I think what's shocking about this movie is how well done it is for an '80s movie. Because think of all the movies that, like, even Rob Lowe and Demi Moore, like, yeah, we're kind of have a certain expectation for '80s movies that I loved, but they were kind of here. And this one's pretty good. Yeah, I really feel like it holds up from a structure standpoint, for an acting standpoint.

Got a real good director on it. So Ed Zwick goes on to make like tons of stuff like Glory and, you know, Last Samurai, 30-something, 30-something.

Blood Diamond.

Blood Diamond. Of course, TIA.

Blood Diamond.

Do it, Sierra.

TIA.

This is Africa.

Incredible. Um, Mammut source material.

Mammut source material, of which there's like some tweaks. Two big scenes, at least in my memory, that they take more or less verbatim.

First scene is basically— it's—

that's the opening scene of the play. Although It's worth mentioning that the play is much more vicious.

Yes.

Uh, is a lot less probably palatable to like a mass audience because like that opening scene, it's like Licko and Danny are like, oh, if she's 18, she's ready to go. Like there, it's dark. But, um, she pro? And at this point we can't say, uh, but the biggest thing for me about this movie is like they take stage source material and the way they make it feel like a movie and cinema is to just makes Chicago the main character of the movie.

It's the fifth character in the movie, yeah.

Yeah. Great use of the city, the Riverwalks, your local bar. The apartments feel simultaneously of a piece in terms of the way you understand quickly how the people live and inhabit them, but they're really distinct from each other. The ballpark, of course. You can feel the way that these people would be like, yeah, I mean, mothers is the— not to already jump to categories, but I mean, mothers is just perfectly used, absolutely perfectly used. You know, to understand right away that, like, you've got the different— we've got the advertising team, right? So we have different groups of people who are meeting and interacting for the first time. But also you kind of buy that they're inhabiting the same slice of the city. It's a great Chicago movie. I mean, it's a crowded field for Chicago movies, as the three of us have discussed previously together, one podcasting after the other.

This did make me realize, though, I think—

What a run.

Where you probably find San Francisco to be the movie city of the '90s—

I was thinking about this too.

Chicago is the movie city of the '80s.

Yeah.

I think we did this. Did we?

Well, we did, like, we talked about the best possible stretch, and it's between '85 and '86. They're just— John Hughes is still doing them. Chuck Norris is there for Code of Silence.

Running Scared.

Yeah, Running Scared is there. Ferris. They're filming Ferris in the city as they're filming this in the city, I think. It's crazy. 2 years after Risky Business.

So Thief in the beginning of the decade, Blues Brothers in the beginning of the decade.

Don't tell us what you thought of this movie yet. Did it make you want to move to Chicago in the summer?

I've never wanted to live in a world more than the opening sequence of this film between the baseball field and mothers and the walks and the bike riding.

It's the best. Look at that face.

Look at that face.

Oh, see, I—

He loved— I mean, come on. I know. He was going to love the movie.

I've always loved Chicago, had a couple cup of coffees there. But this movie does a nice job of giving you all the beats of Chicago, right? Yes. Summer, it's the best place on the Earth. And then you get to the winter and it's just pouring rain and snow. Yeah, kind of timed with the movie, the ebbs and flows of— yeah, how we do it. And then we just have the— we said Chicago's character, Mother's is a character. The 4 people in this are fucking lights out. It's like a 4 for 4. Jim Belushi. Yeah, I don't know where this came from.

Well, he played this character a couple of times on the stage.

Yeah.

And he was like, there are points when like I didn't know Basically when the character ended and when I began. It was obviously something he really connected to.

Tits and ass, tits and ass.

His performance is my favorite thing about the movie by a comfortable margin. I think it's iconic, genuinely iconic. He has some of the best lines. I mean, the delivery. Who said it first? I did. Dan, Dan, Dan, was it before you came or after? Really asking the questions of our time. Trying to understand how his friend is navigating these meaningful circumstances as you go through life.

Yeah, I have a lot of blue shoes stuff for later. I did want to talk about the dating cycle, which I think this movie hit the best out of any movie I can remember.

Yes.

Yeah, I'll give you the steps. Okay, we have chemistry.

Yeah.

There's immediate action.

Yep.

Somebody either plays it cool or has some regrets and they— oh no, we're good, we're doing a makeup game. Let's go again. Start spending time together. Was thinking you could take a drawer.

Drawer?

Yeah, a whole drawer.

A drawer?

A whole drawer, Danny. Um, now we're moving in. Did we do this too soon?

Yeah.

Are we roommates or are we boyfriend and girlfriend? What's going on here? Yep. Because we moved into this weird territory, and I don't know if this makes sense anymore.

Yeah, I don't know anything about you. We don't really talk.

We get the, the L-bomb, which comes later in this movie, but that's a big one too. I was gonna say it first.

Yeah, but there's like the little, the premature ejaculation on the I love you front when in the tub scene.

I love making love.

I love making love. Yeah, but he, he quickly said it in the L-bomb.

We get, we get the pregnancy scare.

Yeah, that's right.

How's he going to handle it? And he handles it badly.

Not well, folks.

We get it's starting to get a little rocky. The job's starting to get— so we have all that. Are you going to talk to her about it? Oh, you're not? That's not good. We have the holidays.

Yep.

Not going as— it's like, oh, now we're becoming our parents. Now this isn't going really well either. We get the, I feel like we're a couple of kids playing house conversation. And we get the terrible breakup, and then we get the one person regretting it, one person never going to forgive the other one.

Yes.

Usually the relationship ends.

Just a touch of stalking as well during that stretch.

It's more than a touch.

Some light stalking.

I don't even feel like it's an appetizer portion. It's a full entrée.

There's so many great details within those moments and within those movements. There's like the dividing up of like who's bringing what to the new apartment.

Yeah.

Yeah, uh, there is the— definitely the taking me for granted part when you first start hot and heavy, where it's like, first there's that initial burst of like, I haven't seen my friends in 3 weeks, this is amazing. And then there's like, wait, I haven't seen my friends in 3 weeks, this is weird, my friends are mad at me. Yeah. And like, I remember when I was started— first started dating Phoebe, who became my wife, we had like a week run or 2-week run where it was like Chinese food, go to the bar, like, you know, just— I never left her apartment. I was like, yeah, going to my record store job and buying a t-shirt at the Gap because I didn't have any clothes at her place.

This was your— you're carrying your undies in a bag.

But there was like one day where like, I was like, and so what, what about like, what do you want to do later? What do you want to do tonight? And she was like, this is weird. Like, I feel like we went from like not barely knowing each other to now it's like, oh, what do you want for dinner tonight? It's like that you have to find the spark. It's too early for there to not to be that spark. And it's funny how there's those ebbs and flows of those relationships. This movie really gets it.

They're also really young.

Well, it's kind of incredibly young.

That's the thing that I think changed the most.

It's— you know how old they were when they made this?

Well, I believe they were like 20, 21 years old, right?

Was 21, turned 22 when it came out, and she's like a year and a half older.

And they're supposed to be like 25 in the movie.

They explain it that he never went to college, so he's in the workforce early, but even so, like, Rob Lowe was in Class, the boarding school. Yeah, Jacqueline Bisset, Andrew McCarthy movie, like 4 years before this. Yeah, as a realistic, like, junior, senior in boarding school. Um, it doesn't really matter. If anything, I like that they're younger playing up versus the way I— they would screw this movie up so many ways now. Like, the— they'd be too old playing younger. The Belushi character would be a disaster. They would have no idea what to do with that character. I don't know what the Elizabeth Perkins character would be, but she'd—

My icon. My icon Joan.

Just mean as a fucking—

Absolutely love her.

Mean as a shrew. That's the thing. All four of the worst kind of drawn characters, probably the Rob Lowe character, but he's just kind of a sponge off everyone else.

I would say by a comfortable margin, that's true. Which is like one of the things as you revisit it time and time again that maybe starts to feel a little bit strange. 'Cause when you watch it for the first time, Much like— and this, there's like a meta quality to this— much like Debbie, you're just so swept up because he is so beautiful. One of the great moments of the movie, of course, is when Bernie's like, "Your problem is that you're too good looking." Yeah, you know, and it does feel like there's actually something to that. Like, this person doesn't know how to navigate the world because he's so hot.

Like, she talks about it like how she— multiple times.

Yeah, and it's good because like when his life starts to spin out a little bit, you get the feeling like it might be the first time that's ever happened to him.

Exactly.

It's like the first time this— things haven't come easy to me, you know, and Yeah, part, part of it is his hair, which gets crazier as the movie goes along.

It's a little bit of his St. Elmo's Fire haircut, dude.

We're in like Teen Wolf territory in a couple scenes. It's bizarre. Obviously it's the '80s, so there's like the '80s mullet for the Danny character. Debbie has a little bit of the '80s micro bang. Yeah, mixed in with like the, you know, the, the blown out hair. But his hair gets really, really wonky in a few scenes.

Like Craig showed up with that hair I'd be like, dude, you should talk. What's going on?

Paired with the shoulder pads and the suits, you should be promoted. Yeah, exactly.

Do you remember, uh, like when you saw this movie, you were 10? How old?

No, I was, I was 16.

16.

Oh man.

And as you were going into like high school—

by the way, I had a separate history with this movie because I watched General Hospital regularly in the first half of the '80s, and Demi Moore was on General Hospital, which is where she became famous. So the fact that she got naked in this movie—

huge.

They had to carry me out. I don't want to talk about it, but I had like— it was like an NFL injury. I was put on a stretcher, they put on the injury straps, I gave everybody a thumbs up.

Still how I feel about it when I watch it now.

Simmons seems to have pulled something. We're gonna go to commercial.

Simmons needs an IV and he'll be back. Um, yeah, so I had a big taste of it.

Simmons to the juice room. What?

The other thing is Rob Lowe was a legitimate— Rob Lowe's in this movie. I want to see it. He reached that point because he had had The Outsiders class, Hotel New Hampshire, which was the one failure. But I liked Oxford Blues, I liked Youngblood, and I liked St. Elmo's Fire. And it just felt like, oh, and Demi Moore, and she was great. And it just felt like this was going to be a thing. It was really well marketed. Um, Jim Belushi had been on Saturday Night Live, so knew who he was. And then Perkins was the whatever. But I, I wrote this down, CR. I think there's only two really truly influential rom-coms ever, and I think this is one of them. I think the other is When Harry Met Sally. I think if you actually look at the DNA of the last 40 years of rom-coms, normal relationship rom-coms, I think they all crib from this movie.

You don't think it's Annie Hall?

Is Annie Hall a rom-com though?

I mean, it's a romantic comedy.

Yeah, of course.

I always feel like the Woody Allens over here Yeah, but I feel like all of these movies are drawing from the idea of like, what if you told the story of a relationship?

But they've been doing that since the '30s, '40s, '50s. Yeah, I'm just talking about like the modern version of these. You think like No Strings Attached?

Yes.

All the shitty versions of these, they're all like this where it's like people meet.

Yeah.

Now we're about to go on a road and we're gonna get— and somebody's gonna screw it up, and then at the end there's gonna be a good song.

Yeah.

And they're back together. But When Harry Met Sally was the, oh, we're friends. Do you like me more than I like you? What's going on here?

The will they or won't they.

Yeah. But I just think those are the two diehards of this version.

Have you workshopped this take with Littman or Dobbins, rom-com scholars? I'm curious to know. I mean, I don't know.

Give me the other last 40 years, though.

You're half Hobbit. What would you know?

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, though rude given that I know you fast forward through the Hobbit scenes in The Lord of the Rings.

There's been monster rom-coms, but like— Pretty Woman wasn't influencing rom-coms for 35 years. You know, My Best Friend's Wedding, this one is like the structure of it, I think, has been repeated over and over again. And you need the two people and you have the two sidekicks.

Yeah.

And like Katherine Hahn was the Elizabeth Perkins character in four rom-coms, or Judy Greer.

Oh yeah.

You know, and then the Belushi one, it's always like, oh man, look out for this guy. Whoa. He's gonna make some jokes.

Yeah.

Be offensive. Rob Lowe, head-to-head battle with Cruise through 1986. One guy had Top Gun in '86, the other had About Last Night. Cruise takes off. That's it.

I thought you were about to make the case that that meant Rob Lowe won based on how you're talking about this movie so far.

No, Top Gun wins. But I think he's maybe the most desired guy to get in your movie who's under 25.

At this point.

At this point, yeah. Oh, interesting.

I know all those '80s dudes, because he passes Timothy Hutton. Yeah, he passes Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, McCarthy, all those dudes. See Thomas Howell. And Cruise, he was ahead of in the billing in The Outsiders.

Yeah, yeah.

So, um, and he was the most famous Brat Pack guy, I think.

Yes.

And also probably the most— was he the most, like, kind of publicly out there, like I'm at the club, I'm, I'm going, I'm dating famous people kind of person.

Yes. And Mallory can attest to this. I would say top 5 handsome celebrities that all women are like, that guy's handsome.

Just great.

I don't think if anyone said like Rob Lowe's not great looking.

No, that would be absurd.

It's like absurd. Like how many people have reached his level of handsomeness? Not many.

No, and you know, Craig, obviously.

I don't know if there's—

well, once you break out the hair— yeah, exactly. There's something— I mean, obviously it's the piercing eyes most of all. Just all the time.

Great chin.

The jawline and the chin. There's like the just the like little like kind of constellation, the dusting of freckles. This is a great movie because he's routinely, sometimes absurdly shirtless, like when he's, you know, uh, okay, I can't actually have my dick in my hand, so I have a wad of pasta putting it into boiling water. He uses his left hand to be canonically accurate here. Um, where I'm standing, I'm so proud of the, the table setting, so I'm gonna like open my already open shirt to tuck my hands into my pocket so that you— running to get the newspaper on the front stoop in his tighty whities, he's coming out of the shower with a towel on. I can't wait to talk more about that scene because it is one of the most puzzling towel techniques in the history.

It's like a weird— it's like a sash.

All he does is dry his right hip. That's it. But it's like 57 seconds long. Can't say I timed it, but it feels right.

It got really wet.

The body— his body is— it's like he's not a bodybuilder. He doesn't look like a professional athlete, you know. He just looks like a— yeah, he like looks like he's a guy who's skinny, lean, but wiry, playing in the, in the mother's softball beer league, and clearly like, like the, the centerpiece of that team, right? Some astonishing infield defense, you know. You care to comment as an All-Metro player yourself.

Surprised that they put him at second base.

Where would you have put him? Center field?

Shortstop?

Seemed like a shorter center with his athleticism.

I did not know— I mean, if you want to do the softball stuff now—

No, no, save it. Okay, we can do it now.

Chris brought his computer to his lap. He was so excited.

I didn't know—

so Giants softball?

I didn't know about Chicago softball.

It was—

did you know about it?

No. No, what?

Tell us everything.

It's a 16-inch softball that you're supposed to play without gloves, and it kind of compresses when you catch it.

And that's only a Chicago thing? And New Orleans.

Oh, oh yeah. I love that.

I love it.

I fucking love it. I never knew about it other than this movie.

Me neither.

And I've wanted to play it my whole life.

Is that why he's able to toss that ball into, like, his wall without just the drywall crumbling? Because it's a little bit of a softer texture.

Although that moment is such a great, like, before phones were invented moment where you're just like, I don't really read.

You'd be doomscrolling TikTok right now. Oh, man.

I think it's harder to really hit those too.

Yeah.

So when Blue, she goes deep later, that's like a real achievement.

Yes. There's some heaviness. There's more mass to that ball. Interesting. So this is like the inverse of duckpin bowling in Maryland, where you've got the small pins and the small balls, larger ball. Interesting.

Didn't know we had that in Massachusetts.

Maybe you. Yeah. Something we share.

Bowling around.

Two things that we share. Adley Rutschman.

Yeah.

How's he doing?

He just debuted.

He was leader of the team.

He was hurt.

And he's the catcher.

Swung out spectacular.

Travis isn't the catcher anymore.

No, he plays first.

Okay.

Beloved by his teammates.

One other thing with Rob Lowe— shockingly good IMDb when you look at like the last 4 or 5 years. Sure. Yeah, he kept— it seemed like his career was over at one point, and then he kind of rallied back with the Tommy Boy era, then he had the West Wing era.

Well, he's been one of the most dependable television actors for the last 30 years, probably 20 25 years between Parks and Rec and West Wing, and then also doing 9-1-1 for several years.

Like, don't forget Dr. Vegas.

Don't forget Parks and Rec.

TV guy, right?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's almost— I almost see them as two different people. Like, seeing him in movies like this and then Chris Traeger in Parks and Rec, I know it's a different— really different.

And then the very different guy is the guy wearing the NFL hat. Yeah, exactly. I do think for a generation he is Chris Traeger. He is the Parks and Rec guy.

He is literally It's 3 different generations of him because the second generation, when he's doing Tommy Boy and Wayne's World, then he's all of a sudden reinventing himself as a comedic actor. He was an amazing SNL host. Yeah. And it was just like, wow.

And he was kind of trying to put his life back together at that point.

Yeah. And he had the Oscars with Snow White. It was a big disaster for him. But I got to say, he also wrote a really good autobiography.

Yeah.

Did you have him on your pod?

I did. He was a very good podcast guest. I talked about this movie with him and with Jim Belushi, and Rob Lowe said, it's my favorite thing I've ever done. He said that on the pod. He said that anywhere. He's like, it's the number one thing I've been involved with. And Belushi loved it too. And they both loved the theory that this movie— because I think people think When Harry Met Sally created the modern rom-com. This is 3 years before When Harry Met Sally, and it did well. It succeeded. We didn't talk about Demi Moore yet. 23 when this movie released. And we're giving her 2 categories coming out of the gate. The Bam Adepayo 83-point Where the Fuck Did This Performance Come From Award and the Peter North Award for Most Effort Put into a Movie.

Yeah, man. Yeah.

I don't know if anyone's ever put more into a rom-com. She's multiple sex scenes, multiple breakdowns, wearing some of the worst clothes, white braids and hairstyles.

Yeah, yeah.

Just going for it.

Very special.

Very— give me your— give me more thoughts, Mal.

I think she's great in this movie. It's actually like, I think that Debbie is a lunatic. And that there are a number of moments where in the span of a single, not just scene or conversation, but sentence, she swings from measured and balanced into a complete breakdown in a way that is obviously very entertaining to watch. But there are also then on the other end of the spectrum, so many moments where she is really rooted and grounded in some sort of actual measured perspective and outlook. You know, she believably conveys, I think, a 23, 24-year-old person who is like trying to figure out whether she wants to be young and free and fun or try out the next phase of her life with this more serious relationship. She's incredibly selfish and self-involved, right, the character. And she also is like mesmerizingly beautiful. She has that kind of, uh, I've got my, my, you know, polo sweater and wavy hair, girl next door quality, but also you're like, she's a fucking freak, and I can't wait to find out where those hands went right before we cut away from the beanbag scene and went into the— you know what I mean.

I do know what you mean.

You know what I mean. It's just great. She's got the husky voice. Yeah, I mean, she's just so sexy and winning and charming, and you believe, as you often do with Demi Moore movies, that anyone who looked at her for 2 seconds would be in love with her.

Of course.

I mean, she's just—

so, throw your life away.

Oh my God.

Oh no, she had— say namaste, Jules, one of my favorite characters of all time. Yeah, the all-time throw my life away. I totally would have gone in the hotel room, would have saved her from the Saudis. I would have paid her rent even when I didn't have money. But she's in that movie with Rob Lowe, who's an even bigger fuckup than her. And then they have the famous scene together when he tries to make a move on her in the Jeep at like 4:00 in the morning. We covered this on the rewatch.

Yes.

And she's like, You break my heart, Billy. Then again, you break everyone's heart. So they have this great moment. Then in this movie, it flips where they're more stable, normal.

Sure.

They're really good together.

Dated briefly.

Yeah.

Unclear.

Like, they're dueling autobiographies. Like, I think Rob Lowe is like, we were hot and heavy for a bit. And Demi Moore is like, I barely remember this, but I think we have one.

I think we hooked up once. They at least hooked up once.

And they— she then was with— Estévez for a while. Oh yeah, they were engaged.

Yeah, yeah, his, his brat pack buddy. Best actress in a movie ever, '87 Oscars for the '86 year. The winner was Marlee Matlin for Children of a Lesser God.

Okay, okay.

Sigourney Weaver in Aliens. Heard that's a good movie scene.

I heard that's a pretty solid performance.

Sheesh.

Kathleen Turner, Peggy Sue Gets Married, or Peggy Sue Got Married. CC Spacek, Crimes of the Heart.

Mm-hmm.

All right, here's the bad one. Jane Fonda for The Morning After. Yeah, classic. Just legacy. We should have thrown Demi one on this one. She's doing it all. Her big scene, which I can't wait to talk about, the breakup scene.

Yeah, yeah.

Who's doing better than that in a scene? Fucking home run. It's like she turns into Meryl Streep. Is that Meryl Streep or Demi Moore?

Nobody in her draft class could do better than that.

No way.

Yeah. She's not my pick for who should get an Oscar from this movie, with respect.

Oh, I can't wait.

It's definitely Perkins. Yeah. I think without question, that performance is electric. Every single moment from Joan is historic.

It's really cool how this movie is about, and it makes no bones about these two characters, the main characters. And if anything, I think Salem Was Fire, for instance, is like hamstrung by the fact that they're like, oh, well, we got to go to Vermont with Emilio Estevez while he tries to chase down Andy McDowell. Yeah, this is like, this is a movie about their relationship. But yeah, the two more interesting people, no question, are their friends, are Bernie and Joan, and they're the Greek chorus who are going to talk about like their mindsets and like the way people think about the opposite sex and the way people think about dating.

It really taps into something that movies have tried to do and usually fuck up of when the friends resent the relationship.

Yes.

And it's been a theme forever, but this one does it really well. Like, Joan's an active terrorist for this relationship.

Yeah, yeah.

But you kind of see it from her side. She doesn't want to lose, lose her friend. Maybe she doesn't like Danny that much. And then Bernie just wants his running mate. Like, that's all he cares about.

I think they're all very selfish. They're all very nakedly selfish. The thing that makes that work, I feel like I was curious actually to get Craig's opinion on this because I feel like a modern audience might find that part of the movie, like the fact that everybody's actually a really bad friend, like a slightly tougher hang now because maybe people have less patience for that with each other. But it feels very true to life to me.

So there's one thing that really, I think, probably has echoed on after this era.

Yeah.

Is the idea that when you're young, you're like kind of on guard against anything ever changing. Because you're like, we're all agreeing to have bad jobs and like go out every night, right? And then the first person who's like, yeah, I'm gonna grow up, you're like, oh shit, that's an indictment of me, right? And I love that Joan kind of manipulates Deb and is like, you know, you're— I bet you're the kind of girl who just drops her friends like a hot potato. And as soon as she gets a boyfriend, and Debbie's like, doesn't everybody? And she's like, well, I don't, but then again, I don't have that many dates. And it's like, I mean, Joe's fucking— but that dude, every day through Chicago. But that is a person though, right? That is like a real person who's just like, no, like, if we're friends and we're roommates, like, you're in— you're in this with me.

Yes.

And it's just like a really, really good character.

When you met, you started hanging out with Phoebe, and Klosterman was like, tits and ass, tits and ass, bloody blue, bloody blue.

The original title for Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs was tits and ass.

Perkins is a home run. She's unbelievable. She's in Big 2 years later.

Yep.

And then goes to jail for her crimes against young Josh Baskin.

Indeed.

By staying outside his house after—

One of my favorite podcast conversations that we've ever had.

Screenplays from Tim Kazurinsky and Denis de Cloux. Kazurinsky, who was on SNL forever.

I knew him.

He was on the Eddie Murphy cast. Big Belushi friend. And that stuff on Casting What Ifs, this was always supposed to be an Ackroyd-Belushi thing, was always the thought in the early '80s. Then Belushi died, and then it went to Jimbo. It was a legendary play. Belushi played Bernie in the play.

Yeah.

William Macy did it for a while early on.

Also, like, I took one playwriting class in college where we had to, like, do different scenes and stuff, but This was like one of the plays that they would always use because the dialogue was so good. So it was like, oh, I'm going to do a scene. I think everybody probably did some version of their first scene. If you're just like, oh, me and CR have our playwright class, we're going to get up on stage and go tits and ass. Yeah, sexual perversity. Ed Zwick, this was his first movie. He was a Chicago guy and said— actually got his book. Oh, hoping for more insights. He got one good one. But, uh, but yeah, he was a big Chicago guy. Led to a lot of stuff. $8.5 million budget, made $38.7 million. Pretty good for 1986.

Do you happen to have '86 box office, like, handy right there?

I mean, I can get it.

Uh, I saw that this was, like, the 25th ranked box office movie of that year, and I just was kind of curious.

And, like, the 10th R-rated, right? Or something like that.

I just feel like we were living well back then.

It was a big summer movie, and it was a big, like, high school— You know, it's an R if you're under 18. So can I get in?

Yeah, there's—

right.

And then it's a date movie.

Something illicit about it.

It had something for everybody. Well, oh, man. Kyle and I just did this one. We did Karate Kid 2, which was the 4th movie of 1986. About last night was 26th. But yeah, we've done half of these at this point.

Have we? Aliens is up there, right?

Not Police Academy 3. That's going to be like season 27 of the Blind Police Academy 3.

That's what's up.

Let's rip through that.

A lot of good comedies. Stand by.

Mummy was this year. Cobra.

Oh wow.

Done it all. So one of the big pleasant surprises of this podcast, Roger Ebert.

This is just an all-time Ebert review. All time.

4 stars.

4.

He said it's one of the rarest of recent American movies because it deals fearlessly with real people instead of with special effects. He shits on Santa Almost Fire and then says this is the movie Santa Almost Fire should have been. About last night gives them, to me and Rob Lowe, the best acting opportunities either one has ever had. They make the most of them. And then he says, why is it that love stories are so rare from Hollywood these days? Have we lost faith in romance? This is what I'm saying. Um, people stop talking.

I was surprised to read this review because I thought he was gonna be like, they've desecrated Mamet's incredible—

yeah. Play.

But no, you know what? He loves character. He loves story.

That's right. That's right.

He said it's a warm-hearted, intelligent love story and one of the year's best movies.

Warm-hearted? I don't know if I totally agree with that. I'm not sure I would describe this movie as warm-hearted.

I think this movie is living inside my heart now.

I don't know, being greeted on your doorstep today by you two just regaling me with a song was really special.

That was great.

I think this This movie, part of its charm to me is that it's kind of like acid dipped. You know, it has an edge. Not as much of an edge as the play is. Yeah, yeah. There's something like unvarnished deliberately.

The play makes you want to blow your brains out at the end. This is somewhat uplifting.

Yeah. Too uplifting at the end. We'll get to it.

Raj took a shot at Top Gun. He said Top Gun was so afraid of a real relationship that its real love affair was with airplanes. And he's like, we should make more like About Last Night. And then guess what? We made 40 years of About Last Nights. Keep making them, making them. They're on streamers every week.

Yes.

Now we're making movies where you only have one night to have sex with somebody.

I can't wait to see that.

Rom-coms have gotten like, I think, probably increasingly high concept. Yeah, but what we really want is like guy meets a girl or whatever and then goes forward, you know?

Yeah, yeah, it's the tale as old as time.

Two crazy kids.

You know what other tale is as old as time? Is I want to go real fast. Top Gun fucking rules.

Yeah, Top Gun was great.

Come on.

All right, we're taking a break and then we'll do, uh, most rewatchable scenes. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Imagine you're running a professional sports team. Nice, that would be a dream of mine. Imagine the player contract report is due today. Not so nice. You've got performance notes from the coaching staff, you got a salary spreadsheet from your analyst, 3 rounds of back and forth emails with the agent, and all of it is scattered Absolutely everywhere. Well, that's where ChatGPT Work comes in. It's a new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. Give ChatGPT Work access to your apps and files and can create real work documents. For instance, spreadsheets, slides, structured reports. You can bring all those to your next meeting when you don't need answers, you need help just getting the work across the finish line. Guess what? ChatGPT Work can move your projects forward while you stay in control. Put ChatGPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get started. Just go to chatgpt.com by selecting Work Mode, available on Plus and Pro plans. Most rewatchables— I have a lot.

Okay.

Yeah.

I basically just put that in the whole movie, but opening scene was Sheer Pro. Bulushi's just hitting—

you can tell Homer's done this material before.

It's perfect.

So it's so vulgar right away. It really acclimates you perfectly, not only into like the rhythm of their friendship and the currency of kind of swapping these tales of conquest, but just that this is a hard R rom-com.

We should have said that earlier. The two friendships in this really feel like real friendships.

Oh yeah.

Yes, like it's clear that Belushi and Rob Lowe have probably hung out off the set for the entire time they made the movie.

Yeah.

And then the two women, like, I don't know, they just seem like authentic friends that have the same up and downs and little petty dumb shit but have each other's back.

But have that— they have that quality of like, um, when Belushi and Lowe meet up on the rooftop.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's kind of like, hey man, like, we were friends at work, but like, don't, don't bust my chops and don't talk about Deb anymore like that. Like, there is that like gradations of like, how close are these guys, right? Or They just go out every night.

Yes.

I'm combining the next rewatchable scene, the softball scene, into the bar, into the combo.

Unbelievable stuff.

Let's cover the softball scene quickly.

Sure.

Great.

Everybody's just going down to watch the game, just people from The Office.

I mean, if the hottest guy in town is tapping the keg like that, who's not showing up to watch?

Like, if we had a Ringer softball team, yeah, would just— why are staffers come down with beers? And then like I strike out to end the game and somebody comes up and I'm like, not right now.

Probably if we lived in a city where it wasn't like, cool, see you in 56 minutes after I have to get on the 5 driving through bumper-to-bumper forest fires.

Our game's in Sherman Oaks today.

Good luck, it's 112 degrees and 2 hours away.

Um, do you see any scenario where people would just go to a softball game on a Tuesday night?

This is why I said this is the world I want to live in. Yeah, this is, this is the perfect environment.

When I lived in New New York and worked at Sports Illustrated, we had— we were in the Zog Sports Wiffleball League and Bowling League. This is a thing that people used to do. We would get on the subway to go for a minute.

We did it. Bring our basketball.

That's right.

Yeah, I remember being obsessed with Letterman Show, and he showed a picture once of like their softball game, and it was the Letterman team, and I was like, I'd fucking kill someone right now to be a Letterman writer someday. And be in the softball game with the Letterman guys to set—

like, guys, there's nothing stopping us from starting a Ringer softball team if we want to. Literally nothing.

So where's the— where's the softball team gonna play?

As you know, I've been working on my release point.

This is— you're gonna say that, and my mechanics, and Bill and I are not going to the Valley. And some people are going to say like Northeast LA.

Is there somewhere near the office?

I don't think it's possible in LA.

What? What are you talking about?

This is—

if we all lived around each other, we would be able to decide. If— but nobody lives around each other.

There's more space in like the mid-city something. You could probably find a field.

Nobody's going to Mid-City.

I think on Wednesday nights are available at Heroin Needle Park. We'll probably get some games going there.

Um, Bernie's homer is incredible.

Yeah, grabs the girl rounding third. Yeah, it's got a cigarette. The cigarette throws her on the floor, dumps the cigarette. It's like, what, what world are we in? He's violating— it's 9 HR violations.

Going up to bat with the cigarette in his mouth is just incredible. Effortlessly.

Babe Ruth used to do it that way.

Exactly.

And then them showing the bench, everybody celebrating, and all of a sudden we're at Mother's and we get Pat's going in for the kill.

Fucking Pat.

Malali, man.

I did not know that.

I have—

Or I forgot that.

I have some thoughts on that.

Me too. Incredible.

Junior varsity. It's like, throw your life away right there.

Oh yeah, yeah.

You want to do this now? See ya.

I mean, she's the best.

Did he belong with Pat is what I'm wondering.

How about this?

Passionate kiss.

I never— I've seen this movie a million times. I never realized it was Megan Mullally.

This is the first time I realized it as well. This is why you can't do blind months. You have to actually look at the IMDb.

She's just a bar bimbo. Like, the moment there's blood in the water for Danny, she doesn't care. This is one of her best friends. She's like, let's dance.

But she's— she's Miss Rowski out there for this— this movie. She is. She didn't want to fucking fire him. And she's like, Tommy John surgery is tomorrow. We're going.

Yeah, push notification. 36 bitches north of 104 today.

Every scene she's doing this with her elbow, just trying to get to the end of the movie.

It's amazing.

Pat's going in for the kill with the hair toss and then the mocking her.

Her friends mocking her because they're all terrible friends.

Yeah, great stuff. Uh, we also get the, uh, you know what your problem is? Your face.

Yeah, just amazing.

And then we get there's a clock behind your head.

Really funny. The, the first mother scene, it really feels like they are all feral animals in a pit, like sniffing each other's asses, the pheromones. It gives you that sense of like the— it's a, it's a movie very much rooted in the individual relationship, but there's this collective fervor to fuck each other, and you just feel it so palpably in that scene. It's, it's amazing.

Craig wants to go back. Mother's.

Mother's looks like a great bar.

Mother's is like a top 5 movie bar, I think. It is really—

I had that for later. I don't know if you can do much better than Mother's.

There's— it depends on what you're looking for in a bar.

Yeah, what's great about movie bars, and it's unfortunately unrealistic, is like there's no way that on New Year's Eve that you can just decide to go to the local bar in a big city.

Yeah.

At like 11 PM and just walk in and it's perfectly crowded. Yeah. There's just like, that's why movie bars are movie bars. But it's, it's perfect.

Would you go Mother's over the Bar in The Verdict?

What's my endgame? What am I looking for every day?

I think that the idea is like the Bar in The Verdict is where you go to die, right? Like that's where you go.

That's like my career's almost over.

Yeah. And eat eggs and then drink 47 beers while you play pinball.

Sounds great. Protein-rich.

Yeah, but Mother's is where you maybe go to meet the next Mrs. Simmons, you know?

Uh, the town where Jon Hamm— yeah, that bar, that's like kind of the middle ground of those two worlds.

St. Elmo's Bar is great.

It is. Yeah, this is a crowded field.

St. Elmo's Bar has food though.

It feels a little bit like a Friday.

Mother's is like, just come here and get sloshed.

We know there's popcorn at Mother's.

But I feel like a bar where the guy, first of all, is named Mother for some reason, and then is just there all the time at all hours, ready to engage.

And sometimes he has a Bears helmet on.

Yeah, it does kind of not exist.

In my research, it seems like Mother's has veered off towards becoming a nightclub now. So it's mostly like, it's Ibiza night on Tuesday, you know?

Oh no.

I thought Mother's— I had this in my research— was in— they filmed all those scenes at Brentwood.

Maybe they did, but there is a Mother Malone's.

There was a bar called—

Original mothers in Chicago.

There was a bar called Mom's in Brentwood where they filmed a lot of it.

Wait, Mom's in LA?

In Brentwood.

Oh, weird, because there's a Mom's in Santa Monica. Is it not that?

Maybe that's what the research meant.

Wow.

I've been to Mom's a lot.

Did it look like this place?

Not really, but I don't know, maybe they set dress.

The double date. You're a very attractive woman. Has anyone told you that?

Amazing.

Yeah, I'm a neurosurgeon. I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.

Nice to meet you, champ.

I don't know, those two are the best. They're the best.

Yeah, honestly, you could have 20 more minutes just with them interacting.

They're the best.

Interesting broad. Where'd she develop her personality? A car crash?

Uh, looks like I got the dog.

Such a great hang.

Yeah.

Um, this is as far as this goes tonight, and then they're going at it again. Next thing, the montage date, falling in love, wonderful stuff. Skipping work, so good, we've been living.

So that's, uh, Art Institute.

Yep.

The Cubs from the roof.

That's right.

And going to the Swallow for the first time.

I was gonna do this now, CR. Cubs game in the across-the-street location, very tough to get. Art museum diner date.

Yeah.

Little vulnerability. I've always wanted to open my own place.

Yeah. Yeah.

And then holding a balloon.

I love this joint. That's right. She sees me for who I am.

Don't forget, CR.

That's right.

The later night lake walk.

Yeah, that's right.

To cap it off. Yeah. Best one day date ever in a movie.

I think Before Sunrise still has this one.

There's no question the answer is Before Sunrise.

Yeah, you're right.

No question.

You get Vienna. I take Vienna over Chicago.

I think Obsession goes pretty well for the first day.

Haven't seen it. Great.

Mallory can't see it because of the cat situation.

No, you told me that you thought I could watch that movie, and then Adam watched it and he was like, I can't believe Bill told you that you could watch this movie. There's cat violence.

Fair. Debbie tells Joan she's moving in. I give it 2 months leading to the move-in.

Yeah.

And Joan being a bitch. And I like when Belushi's kind of tiptoeing around holding this, like, one lamp.

The moving scene is just— it's just an incredible sequence. Incredible. "I'm supposed to rend and torture myself anally? Is that what you're into? Does Deborah know about this?" Such a montage.

And then we go right into another montage. The "We've Moved In Together." Yeah.

This montage—

we got a natural love.

Some Bob Seger. This will be coming up in a lot of the categories, this montage. This is a very, very powerful book.

This is just the moving in montage because then there is the like—

this is montage number 2 is the moving in. "We've Got a Natural Love," right?

Yes.

Montage number 3 is getting closer. The fitted sheet.

Yes. The "Living Inside My Heart" Bob Seger.

That's her smoothing out the fitted sheet.

That's our next scene.

Yeah.

The post-fight montage.

Debbie tries to wake him up, can't. Yeah, he starts going through his shit. He wakes up. I don't want to be your roommate. Uh-oh, Bob Seger's playing.

It's actually Scott Bennett, but yeah, it's not Bob Seger.

That's not Bob Seger?

I don't think so.

I always thought it was Bob Seger.

Living Inside My Heart, Bob Seger, isn't it?

Yeah, I think it's Bob Seger. No, it's Scott Bennett, isn't it?

No, in the song— in the movie, it's Bob Seger. I don't think it's on Spotify. On Spotify, Scott Bennett. It's Bob Seger. Okay. Swimming Inside My Heart Now. And then, uh, these two go to town on each other. Mal, I don't know when we want to break this down. Oh, we have a spot later.

Yeah, you name the time.

Whole section. Yeah, she's good.

This was, uh, an enormous scene for teens in the '80s. I'm just gonna leave it there.

Yep.

Thanksgiving dinner into the bathroom fight.

Um, this is so good. I love this.

Could have gone 10 more minutes.

Yeah.

She baked us a pie. She calls him the Bulgarian friend. Uh, well, it's official. I've become my mother is something that everybody hits that stage.

Sure.

Yeah.

We're like, wow, I'm an adult now. This sucks. Um, and then we get the fight. She finds out about the boss. We have that whole thing. Brief one. The kindergarten class. When she's talking about the Virgin Mary, just Elizabeth Perkins cooking.

Yeah.

Debbie flips out on the boss. I have another one at the Christmas party. I want to have 10 kids with this guy.

Incredibly normal thing.

Does he love you?

Yeah, I don't know.

Good snowy subway shots here. Was that a great shot, Gordo, for you?

I had a different great shot, Gordo, but same.

Yeah, same. Mothers on New Year's Eve. I'm going to be the refrigerator, you be Peyton. Yeah, right in 1986 with that one. Bernie's doing the double shots.

Yes.

You ever done this?

I have not.

You ever done the double two bottles of one shots?

Uh, I've done like the Christmas shot where it's like the peppermint schnapps with the, with the whiskey or whatever. I've done that.

But were you leaning backwards over a bar with somebody pouring them right into your mouth?

Yeah.

Classic Craig.

Bernie probably drove home that night after that.

I know, it's terrible.

1986.

Um, I mean, there's a scene where the two of them are just like free chugging bottles of whiskey.

They're drinking like fucking Fireball while they're walking around like the river in negative 10, just being like, tits, ass.

Debbie's friend Pat hitting on Danny. I mean, dance with me.

This is my most rewatchable scene, which is New Year's Eve. It's the New Year's Eve.

Yeah, it's a tour de force.

We're gonna make dinner at home and try to pretend like this is where we're at in our lives. Oh, because the second the phone rings, we go out. Yeah, Joe needs you. Pat's flirting with you. Joan's such a bitch, she's always trying to break us up. Breakup.

Yeah, awesome breakup.

You guys are using, um, flirting pretty liberally. They kiss.

Well, I just don't understand why Deb doesn't fucking gut Pat right there.

I know, they're like hanging out later.

Let me read you a quote. I bet you're terrific, and I know I am. That's like fucking, yeah, Mizaroski level. The catcher's like, ah, the glove from a mile away. Yeah.

Uh, Jacob's warming up.

Then Joan melts down and the hooks are out. And then, uh, my most rewatchable scene, the breakup.

Yeah, it's really good.

This is just an incredible breakup scene.

Danny in the dark, and she goes, here we go.

It really feels like they're breaking up.

Yeah.

Um, one corny moment which I think goes to the, uh, earn this William Goldman Award. She turns the light on and she's like, mind if I turn this on? Because we've been in the dark long enough.

Not the best.

Goldman's like, not— I cut that.

Yeah.

Um, I don't love you anymore. And she like gasps, like the— yeah, soul leaves her body for a second.

I love that that's how bad this breakup is, so that when he goes after her and starts chasing her across Chicago, she's like Fuck you.

Like, a lot of time to get over this. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if there's ever been a better breakup that I can remember in a movie where you're like, oh my God, I think that it's— I feel like I'm actually watching two people break up.

I think that when, uh, Hannah finds Ralph watching his television—

fine, I'm gone, it's done. Great stuff. Demi Moore is unbelievable in this scene.

Yeah. Really fun.

Really great. Uh, and then I don't even know what to do with Danny.

Gets a bunch of strange— yeah, Danny opens up a diner.

I like when he shows up at Mother's with, uh, Belushi again, and he's like, the cognac, horses, fresh horses for our men.

Yeah.

Um, the one-night stand from hell, Married a Fair Lady.

That's so funny.

Don't ever lose your sense of humor, Dan. Don't ever. Uh, and then we get the St. Patrick's Day.

Mm-hmm.

Got an obsession. I don't know where they found these '80s songs.

I know, it's quite a soundtrack.

And she goes out, goes off on him in the rain.

Mm-hmm.

You had it. I gave you love.

I love that moment. It's great.

Really nice detail in that is that when the movie starts, it's her first time to Mother's. And then after the breakup, she's like, you got to stop coming to my bars, right? Like, she's taking Mother's.

I don't want to have to start drinking in the suburbs. Yeah, great line.

Bernie and Joan, something happens there.

We'll be coming back to that in another category.

Bernie brings him the stuff. That's great, Dan. I tell you I'm a thief, you call me a liar. And then the softball game ending, which is just a really good ending.

It's cute.

I have the breakup or New Year's Eve as my most rewatchable.

I have New Year's Eve. I mean, it's the same night, but I have New Year's Eve.

Yeah.

I'm torn between the opening, which I just love the rhythm of, but it feels wrong to not pick something that Debbie's in. I think I'm going to go Thanksgiving and the bathroom fight after Thanksgiving. That's the part of the movie that I find myself most genuinely gripped watching. The relationship's starting to fall apart. Shocking as a child of divorce that that's the part of the movie I like the best.

Throw it in the toilet or the trash.

Yeah.

Your mascara gets in the porcelain, and then it gets on my fingers. Real relatable content.

Your favorite scene, softball?

Opening monologue just catches you immediately.

It's great.

Before you even see anything.

It's great.

While the opening credits are going.

Most 1986 thing about this movie—

I got a couple.

Debbie's fucking her boss and Danny's boss is fucking somebody he works with.

Yeah, I mean, he's— Danny's boss is just grabbing ass.

Yeah.

Out in plain view.

We're talking about how he has a family to feed.

Yeah, it's really funny.

Yeah. Uh, a main character named Debbie whose best friends are Joan and Pat.

Yeah, some '80s names for sure. Yeah.

Uh, the double headphones trick. Yeah, not sure that's working now.

Yeah, just the stereo system that he has in general.

Yeah, smoking indoors, just great to see it. Sure, really made me happy for CR. The refrigerator Peyton reference is great. I think the answer is Danny's Air Jordans for me.

Well, it's definitely that, but it's beyond just the fact that it's an Air Jordan.

It's these—

he's wearing— he's wearing Vans, right? Like, that's that there's nothing that roots you in that moment of time more than that specific show.

Specific 6-month stretch where those shoes came out.

Really great. Similarly, actually, on the sports, uh, time orientation front, he's wearing the No Lights Wrigley Field shirt. Yeah, because they were protesting bringing lights.

Oh, interesting.

So the yellow one with the red, he's got that on because they brought lights in '88. So that's real, like, you know, mid-'80s trying to fend off the inevitable.

I got a couple. The number one is Deb's boss saying that after a softball loss he's going to go home and take some lithium.

Yeah, yeah.

And I love that Alex, Danny's side piece, making a Replicants reference, which would have just been like, this, this chick watches Blade Runner, I guess.

Uh, same.

I got to be honest, I don't even really know what lithium is. Like, what— I don't even know what that really means.

It's a—

is it a pill?

It's like an antidepressant, like anti-anxiety medication, but I think it's the one they It was like Wolf of Wall Street era.

Like, okay, so like it's like a modern Xanax or something.

Yeah, but I think that they were cooking with a little bit more like industrial strength stuff back then.

Yeah, Alex, the ex-Alex, the fur coat, also being like, I'm in the book, you know, look somebody up in the phone book if you want to find them. That's a real— we're not saying that anymore. I'm in the book.

She was gross.

Um, yeah, I'm not a fan.

The Floyd Gundali butter on my ass lollipops in my mouth. A word for something I just enjoy.

What do you have? Um, themed dinner nights. A sandwich night sounds wonderful. I, I don't want— come on, this is— this sounds lovely.

Could you fulfill your end of the two nights I cook, two nights he cooks?

Of course not. Our version of this is tonight is DoorDash night, tonight is Postmates night, tonight is you put the order in, tonight is I put the order in. But I think this idea—

do you think you're why Mark Walter had to sell the Lakers?

Is because somehow Entirely possible. My relationship tells me, yeah, the e-delivery economy, it's entirely possible. Um, you know, I just think that Joan responding to that, you know, I bet your sex life is a real thrill when, when Debbie is describing that.

So what are you doing? Sandwich day?

Yeah, this is just goals to me. Like having that, that sure thing that, you know, you get to look forward to, a shared meal.

Joan's, um, a theme night. Her, her stir fry that she makes that night where it's like, it's like a clear, like, kind of like at that time Weight Watchers kind of like, yeah, it's like a Lean Cuisine. Here's a really good chicken breast with some veggies, just if you're watching your weight. And it's like, oh, God. And she's eating it like one little fucking—

This is just the greatest movie of all time.

That scene is so funny. He's like, we have to be at this movie in 10 minutes. The performative— it's like saying, do you want me to pick you up from the airport? Or can I help you move in? That's the way they ask if she wants to go to this movie.

Do you want to come?

Says yes. And then one chopstick.

Yeah, just let me get ready. Just to fuck their night.

So good. She's the best.

What do you have?

'80s Chicago movies. Just a movie in the '80s set in Chicago.

I'm like, that was my backup choice. My choice is softball scenes in movies or TV shows.

Yeah, good one.

A Few Good Men. I could watch Cruise hitting grounders for an hour.

I'm gonna hang your boy from a fucking yardarm. Yeah.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, very important softball scene with, uh, Rosie O'Donnell. They had a whole episode about last night. Cheers had a big softball, the battle against the other bar. And then, uh, WKRP, which nobody listening to this watched, they had a radio station softball game, I remember. But in general, I'm always gonna watch.

It's great.

It's like, oh, people are playing softball? I like to see how the actors throw.

Sure.

Like, you can't really fake softball hitting.

Yeah.

Um, the pitcher, where they put the actors in the game is always interesting. Like, Danny being at second, I really like I was like, why is he not shortstop? I don't— did they have somebody?

I got the impression that Danny was an emerging talent because they're like, new to the team, second baseman, has a great ass, you know. Like, it's like a lot of like, maybe he's, he's new on the scene, this is a rookie season for him.

I wonder if there's something about that heavier ball, fewer people are pull hitters. Oh, more opposite field, more infield dribblers going to second. Yeah, throwing that out there.

Do you think that, um, Chicago has Chicago-style softball? Is it ruined by advanced analytics?

Yeah, and hedge funds.

Are they doing shifts?

What was that guy's fit?

Hedge funds, VCs, private equities for 16-inch softballs.

Exit velo on, on that ball.

What's aged the best? They say the title multiple times.

It's— and guess what? Every single time it's great.

It totally works.

Every single time it's great.

Mentioned the rom-com structure. Sierra mentioned Chicago. We mentioned really great best friend relationships with loyalty, comedy, and Sabotage and ball busting. Yep. Her saying to her boss, nah, it was kind of sleazy and now it's over. Now it's kind of over.

And now it's kind of over is a great breakup line.

Yeah. I wrote down slutty hot Megan Mullally. No notes in this category.

No notes. Yep.

Just keep her away. Keep your man away from her. I'm gonna go home. Will you make sure Danny's all right at the bar? Yeah, I'll make sure.

Someone put Mullally on a pitch count.

I just can't believe— I'd love— I looked all over the place for her talking about this, and the only thing I could find was her husband saying they'd both kissed Rob Lowe. Yeah, because he kissed him in his show.

Great stuff.

Um, it's a subtle one, but Bernie— when, when Danny's really unraveling, he goes to the bar and she's— and she ends up leaving, but they cut to Bernie, and Bernie's just like Yeah, like, I can't believe my friend's unraveling like this. Like, just, it's like the perfect expression. I have a couple more, but yeah, the disastrous first Thanksgiving that you cook on your own, man.

Uh, and I gotta say, like, on rewatch, it's the rewatchability of the montages because, like, you wouldn't really want to watch all those scenes, but you're just like, you know what, I know exactly where I am in this relationship.

This is an all-time montage movie. It's wonderful. I'm just going to throw out a kind of obvious one, but meeting people in real life— I think that's aged the best. This really ports you back to a moment in time like pre-dating app era. You go to the park, you go to the bar, you meet people.

Security Burton has a cute ass.

I wonder whether people get to weed out getting Bernie'd?

It's certainly— you are more informed in your choices now, and that's better. But there was something nostalgic about this, like oh, people just don't People don't meet this way anymore. Where are you supposed to meet someone?

There's also like a weird comfortability that in the '80s, like, Craig's got fucking tears in his eyes.

He's like watching the natural.

This is your Citizen Kane.

No, I was, I was gonna say like in the beginning of the movie when Joan and Debbie are hanging out in their apartment and Debbie's got like the hairy guy in the bedroom, just like being comfortable with that environment feels very old school to me. Like that is not something now that in my opinion, you would see like two girls being like, oh yeah, some ugly dude's in the room. Like I slept with him, he won't get up. He's pissed drunk. And they're just like laughing about it, joking around, checking on him in there. It just feels very intimate. And nowadays nobody would do stuff like that.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I think there's also just the kind of like attention to detail. For example, it's been 30 seconds since we talked about Bernie. Let's talk about him again on the roof scene that you mentioned, you know, when he like turns away from Danny and you can see so clearly the outline of his wallet in his jeans. You're like, oh, this guy wears this pair of jeans every day. Like, just little things like that make it feel really lived in and authentically.

They're like, when he helps them move and he's got the leather jacket with the Blackhawks jersey underneath, I'm like, this guy, this guy wears this. Yeah.

Yeah.

He's great. Uh, sandwich night ahead.

I mean, no notes.

Big Chicago, big softball Chicago. And then just some birdie lines. The thing about redheads, lack of pigmentation.

An insane exchange.

I once nailed two stewardesses at 4,700 feet. You know what? It was fun. It was fun.

It was fun.

Pull this leg and it plays Jingle Bells. I've taken. Never call abroad more than once a week. Ever, ever, ever. You're as much fun as a stick. I'm surprised the guy didn't leave skid marks. And then this is crass, but if she didn't have a pussy, there would be a bounty on her head.

That was my flex directly to Joan.

That was my book about medals.

That is, that is like a crazy line. And that's not Mamet, that's them, right?

I also quite like when he says, she looks very intellectual. I mean, that's not always a bad thing. It's incredible. The static electricity is being caused, is sending these little sparks right to my nuts. It's the best. Incredible stuff.

The only thing I don't— not positive this is true, but it was in the research where Lowe said he improvised some of the fight scene stuff. And I don't love you anymore wasn't in the script, and her reaction was genuine because she wasn't expecting him to say that.

Interesting.

And then it's like, did they have a little history?

Yeah.

Did that one hit a little closer?

Not to Demi Moore's recollection.

Yeah. So she's like, Don Draper, I don't think about you at all. And he's like, this was the most—

it is the difference between men and women. Women have a tendency to, yeah, I don't remember, it might have been once, whereas I think we would be like, it was 7 times.

If it was Demi Moore, I think I'd be exactly—

I think it's more that.

I think if you fucked me more, you'd remember it.

I'd write Lord of the Rings about it.

I would just be like, here's the prequel, man.

Can't wait for Landman to come back, by the way.

Do you feel like Demi Moore is a different human being in this movie than Landman Demi Moore, or you feel like it's the same person?

Oh, I could definitely— spoilers for Landman season 2. Definitely see Debbie sprawled out on the, like, concrete in her backyard, wailing, sobbing, and the subtitles just say coyotes howling. For sure.

Yeah.

So are Cami and Debbie that different? Probably not.

Take one more break and we'll finish. All right, some quickies. Great check, Gordo. You didn't have the snowy subway shot?

I had the rooftop pan to Wrigley.

Oh, that's a good one. Good one. I have when they're fucking in the shower. They're, they're in the bathtub. The shower's on.

But here's the great shot.

Here's the great shot. Gordo part. The camera is focused on the rubber duck in the corner of the tub. It's just an incredible little detail. Truly. And it really pops.

Yeah, because it's a black color. Thumbs up.

So you see the yellow really shine there. It's great.

Big Huna Burger. Where best use of food or drink? It's got to be the double shots.

Oh, man.

I had the Boilermakers that they have on New Year's Eve. Oh, that Belushi and, uh, Joan's boyfriend.

That's a good one. Yeah, Gary. Good old Gary. I think it's either the Joan leisurely eating the dinner that we already talked about, or watching— there's obviously the Thanksgiving fight, but before that, when Danny's out and Debbie is like basically just definitely giving them all salmonella the way that she prepares this turkey, like giant turkey that she's tapping with her bare hands in the sink, and like her bathrobe sleeves are just—

I just think that that's like more like the Julia Child style. Like, we don't have to worry about diarrhea the next day.

There's no question.

Oh, it's the parasitic diarrhea era now, so they were just early, you know? They were early.

Chess Rockwell. Brock Lander's best character name?

It's got to be Bernie Licko.

Oh, I think it's— yo, Licko!

Like, I think it's Swallow if, uh, establishments are eligible. Instead of people because in addition to it being, you know, it's the source of a lot of tension between Danny and his boss as they talk about the diner, just doubles as a suck-and-swallow joke. And does she give head is a big part of the plot of this movie. So throwing that out there.

It crossed my mind as well.

How can it not?

Ten of Thieves, Benihana, scene-stealing location. It's got to be Mother's.

There's no question. This was one of the easiest picks we're having ever.

Or the steam baths, but probably Mother's.

Oh, the steam baths are good. Yeah, a lot of wrinkly tush in there.

What do you got for Flexier?

I had—

it's a Book About Metals Award for the belatedly Best Quarter Exchange for, you know what, Joan, if you didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on your head. It's just fucking crazy.

Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness Award, Best Needle Drop.

Contentious.

I can offer you 5 montage songs, 2 by Sheena Easton.

Yeah.

So Far, So Good and We Got a Natural Love.

Yeah.

Living Inside My Heart by Bob Seger. Till You Love Somebody by newcomer Michael Henderson.

Yeah, that's good.

Or If Anybody Had a Heart by John Waite, which is a remake of a Crosby, Stills, and Nash song. 5 montages. What do you got, Sierra?

Living Inside My Heart.

Okay.

Yeah, I think probably. I think so.

A little bit of Bruce Hornsby vibes to that one. Yeah, I like that. What was your favorite?

I think— is that the first big montage song?

It's the montage when she's doing the fitted sheets.

That's so far so good. And he's making the pasta sauce, and it's I think what's key about the montage choices is they each describe the part of the movie we're in.

Yeah.

So far, so good. Yeah, we got a natural love. Yeah, living inside my heart now. You don't know what it's like till you love somebody.

It's all right there.

It's all right there.

If anybody had a heart. Yeah, we're just there all the way through. Uh, the Sean Penn I brought my own pack award for excellence in on-screen smoking. A lot of candidates here. It sounded— Belushi and Rob Lowe. Who do you have?

I got Rob Lowe in the breakup scene, just the, the cigarette like dangling there.

Feels like he's gonna set the apartment on fire. He's just, he's just—

he's a pro. Yeah, let him work.

Would have been payoff if he had for the, the Chekhov's fire setup from the, the prior story that Bernie told, you know.

Butch's Girlfriend Award for a weak link of the film. Joan with the married guy.

Gary.

Yeah, he's married, but he's with her on New Year's Eve, but then he tells her on New Year's Eve, I'm married.

I had the—

it's a little iffy.

Yeah, I had the New Year's Eve part as a picking Nick, because if you're specifically trying to get back your marriage back together, you're not with your mistress on New Year's Eve, I don't think.

And she's not gonna know it's— she's the mistress. Like, Joan's pretty smart.

She is.

I don't know.

I had, uh, the Swallow City Diner plot line. Which I think is largely there to give Danny some kind of redemption, slash, like, future outside of his relationship with Deb.

He just wants his own joint.

Just a touch of substance.

Bullshit that, like, Flavio would let him— or whatever that guy's name is— Flavio would let him go ahead and not close that place down, like, the 3 times that he ignores him.

Yeah.

And then did Danny get a loan? Like, how did that go?

I know this is nitpicking.

It's easy. You just get a loan from the bank. Yeah.

And then he immediately goes in. And he's charging $5 for a burger when you can get a burger for $1.90 down the street.

Yeah, I thought the burger price was, uh, alarmingly high.

Adjusted for inflation, that's a $15 burger.

$4.95 was no burger in 1980.

That's a lot.

In-N-Out right now is like a $5 burger.

Yeah. And it's like, it's not fine dining, right? He's doing like a— he's doing the diner.

Yeah, but he's doing that thing where it's like, it's a diner, but like, I have to charge a lot because I've put so much money in. Right.

Interesting. I do like the one— the redeeming quality inside of the Swallow City Diner plot is just the detail of the menus being the same color as the sign. She made him, the pink and green. That's right. Delightful. A little touch there. Lovely.

What stage is the worst? Did you have a weakest link or—

no, nothing we haven't already talked about. Nothing we haven't already—

what stage is the worst? Uh, Danny's weird stalking phase. He's also too handsome. I just think he gets another girlfriend.

They just don't move.

He has no problem finding people to fuck. That's— yeah, not an issue for him.

Debbie's clothes are just an atrocity. But it's very '80s. But man, there's one scene when you see her whole closet and my wife— oh, every time my wife's like, oh, oof-da! Yeah, just some of the worst blouses.

I do have a note about a particular outfit coming up though.

Okay.

I think that— I think the men's fashion is particularly bad in the movie. There's the— when all of the, the female friends are on their like lawn blanket watching the initial softball game, for a second you think that the fashion is going to be iconic. Like the sweater. Yeah, Joan is basically dressed like CR in that scene, and that's a compliment, right? She's pulling off like a rugby shirt sweater. It looks great. And then it's, it's kind of all downhill from there on the fashion front.

My mom, who really loves this movie, it's one of her all-time favorites, and she thinks Debbie's overalls in the last scene—

oh, I love the overalls.

She thinks Demi Moore would have all copies of this movie destroyed. No, for the last scene.

No, overalls are timeless.

She hates it. There's no way. Plus the outfit, like, she's wearing stuff under the overalls. Seems heavy. Yeah, but it's like June.

Well, I think we get into some weird like timeline stuff here, and the leaves are on the ground for some reason.

That's right.

Um, Ruffalo, Hannah Rubin, and Partridge overacting where Danny's boss— it's a bird! It's a loser bird!

I had him for Dion Waiters, but obviously he's definitely overacting. What about Gus? From, from the diner. You're cutting my throat!

Give me a break, Danny. All right, it's time.

Do this to me.

Put your seat belts on. I'll even put my seatbelt on.

Sierra, I can push the microphone away.

We have a special sex section for Mallory Rubin. Wow, let's get a flex. Oh man, first one is the Mallory Rubin Award: Did this movie need a better sex scene?

Okay, since we have multiple sex-specific categories in a row I'll try to keep it quick. You know, as Joan says, you just need like 10 minutes.

Okay.

I think there are 3 candidates for this category. One specifically is oral sex because does she give head again is like a crucial question in the movie.

Never answered.

No, we have a little bit in, in the Seeger montage. There's one of the glimpses of them passionately making love to each other. Debbie is on her stomach. And there's that little moment where Dany is like kissing and rubbing her back and moving down toward her ass. But then we cut away. And then of course, crucially, in the breakup scene— this is canon, this is in the movie— "Fine, I'm gone. It's done. You can go back to doing whatever you want to do with whoever you want to do it with in whatever orifice you want to do it." Interesting. So is Danny saying to Debbie, like, why aren't you sucking my dick more? Or is he like, can I put it in your ass? One of those things has happened.

So I never caught that until I had the subtitles on for this. I always thought she said whatever office you want to do it in, right?

Orifice.

It's orifice.

It sure is, folks. It sure is. Next, masturbation.

Wait, what, what category is this?

And then did this movie need a better sex scene?

This movie needed better sex scene. So we needed some oral sex.

So you're having subcategories of this question. There's, there's some contenders.

Let me try to interpret this. You're saying the movie needed more sex.

Well, I think it's a great sex scene movie, but there was opportunity for even more. And one of them was with Joraphus. Okay, next, masturbation. Exactly. And I think this is a real opportunity here to get Bernie involved because when— on the move-in day— is there? Yes, on the move-in day. So Debbie finds a stack. I freeze-framed. It's not like the 4K era of Playboys. You count at least a dozen there. Yeah. So Bernie takes one. He swipes one. We know that Bernie is going in and out of the U-Haul. Just a little quick crank from Bernie, I think, would have been very much at home in this movie.

Okay. Crank daddy.

But that brings us to the real— Oh, and also, I think we could have gotten a Debbie masturbation scene, and I think we nearly did in the Seeger montage that we all love so much. Couple things. The fitting sheet, the spreading out the sheets. She's basically masturbating when she's doing that. And then she's got the putting the perfume on. She just wants to rub one out. Why didn't she? Next, Bernie and Joan. Okay. They have incredible chemistry together. It's undeniable. Yeah. It's a fact. When they're finally alone together and it is about just them, even though, of course, Danny and Debbie are present in absentia because they're talking about them. This is the pussy bounty hunter scene. "You wanna leave my bone out of this? You're a filthy scumbag." The flirtation. And then he says, "So you wanna dance or what?" And she very, like, real sexy putting the piece of popcorn into her mouth and kind of raising her eyes up at him. I think definitely they fuck here. For sure they fuck.

Oh, I don't even think it's a question.

It's— my question is, because then we see them later at the park at the hot dog cart, and he's like, oh, give me more, give me more, I want another taste. And she's like, fuck off. Why didn't we see the sex scene? They're at Mother's, where we know canonically the bathroom door locks. Because when Joan is having her meltdown at New Year's and Debbie goes into the bathroom to comfort her. They lock the door and someone else is like, I'm gonna piss my pants, it's New Year's Eve, let me in. We, we as moviegoers did not deserve the quick cut to Joan and Bernie fucking on that broken toilet seat in the mother's bathroom. Come on.

It definitely like something breaks in the bathroom.

For a long time I had thought that Bernie was the person in Joan's bedroom.

Me too, at the beginning. Yeah, I think they set you up to think that.

They're like quietly hooking up the whole time, off and on.

Yeah, that would have been great.

Um, the Steven Seagal Hard to Kill Award for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator?

I mean, it's possible this podcast needs a better intimacy coordinator. I think I do have a nomination.

Well, even though you just speculated about anal sex in, in this movie, hang with me for this next one.

When, uh, there's some visible ball, some visible bouncing ball.

I was gonna say, now that the TVs and the HD has gotten better, like, yes. He's definitely Billy Bob Monster Balling his ball. He's Monster Balling it.

One of the montages when they're in bed a lot and she— oh, okay.

Oh, it's— oh yeah.

Do you want— do you want to see now?

I actually think it made me wonder if they were actually—

this is, this is why I think it's eligible for the intimacy coordinator question.

You think they were really—

now she gets on top of him? Yes, exactly. She— they roll over, she's on top, and as she is moving up and down, you can see a little, a little ball kind of popping.

I think Estevez they do the screening for the movie and Estevez is engaged with her. I think he's out of it. Well, he cheated on her, but yeah, I think he sees that scene, he's like, I'll see you in the car.

Now you're wearing a cock sock or something. But he was not in that.

I like Chris defending Demi Moore in 1980.

I read a whole article today where she was like, we sent out invitations, and then my friend was like, I saw Emilio with a gal in LA.

Incredible stuff.

I just think all bets were off in the '80s.

Of course.

Just what a decade.

How could you have sex with Rob Lowe and be like, I think I did that? You know, like, yeah, I think I might have done it once.

Um, all right, so we say yes on an intimacy coordinator.

Sure.

The He Got Game hooker scene award for most awkward if someone walks in the room.

I thought this was really easy. To me, this is the, the montage we've talked about so much. This is the Seeger montage stretch because it is a tonally confusing mashup. So somebody walks in and they see 'Oh, we're making a bed,' or 'We're making pasta,' and they think they've walked into a Hallmark movie. And then Demi Moore is curving her spine at an impossible angle, nipples front and center, as they're fucking for the next 5 minutes. So the fact that you're cutting back and forth and someone would actually feel invited into the room— 'Oh, what an interesting little domestic story about how to prepare a meal together.

Keep it home.' No, no, definitely on the airplane. If Craig could watch this on an airplane— oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, I should be all right with about last night.

I watch Poor Things on an airplane, you know, it's tough.

Yeah, there's some great oral sex scenes in that movie. I remember them well.

Yeah, the Phoebe Cates Award for Excellence in Putting Teens Through Their Puberty. I think same scene.

Well, there's so much nipple in the movie. The beanbag ass play, ass crack into the fucking— in the bathtub shower nipple glimpse is great. This— the Seeger montage stretch, you get the visible nipple during the floor sex, you get tits on full display in the back arch, nipples in the kitchen, you look so great in that light. But we're not here to just objectify women. You can see Rob Lowe's dick in that scene when they walk into the kitchen and he opens the refrigerator.

This is like what it must be like to podcast with Jim Garrison.

Where I saw—

she's just like, you can see his dick.

NFL Live yesterday, and this is exactly the same.

She's seeing too high, she's gonna go into like—

when they go 12. So was it side dick or dick dick?

It's side dick. It's side dick in the glow of the fridge. That's wonderful.

What do you think they, they got more careful about that in movies? The '90s.

I don't think they knew the pictures were going to be this good. I think everything was super blurry back then.

Well, you boot that up now on your streamer on your 75-inch TV and you're richly rewarded.

Yeah, I think by the time we got to Wild Things when Kevin Bacon, yeah, half fluffed himself to get ready for coming out of the shower—

is that apocryphal or is that real?

That was a big argument.

Yeah, I'm convinced.

I think there was some fluffing. Uh, well, good news, we have another award for the Mallory category. The special subsection, the Steven Seagal Shitting on Himself Award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film shoot.

Let's hear it.

This comes from Ed Zwick's book, which I bought on Apple Books yesterday.

Excited. Okay.

Um, he was talking about how they filmed the sex scenes, and he said they do them for 8 hours, and it's like way technical. And yeah, everybody agrees that the least erotic experience you can have— you got creepy crew guys staring at you. Zwick said It all went well until an especially passionate and athletic moment when Rob began to groan quite loudly as they pretended to make love.

Yep.

Everyone looked away embarrassed, trying to act like it wasn't happening until we realized that Rob had torn his ACL. Wait, bro, that he is. Rob kept acting until I said cut. The show, as they say, had to go on.

Okay, that's not where I thought that was going.

Rob never mentioned this again, was not in his book. I tore my ACL during an About Last Night's Sex Scene.

Holy shit, how do you tear your ACL? Was he on top getting into the tub?

Yeah, because that's a, that's a tricky position angle there.

He's really bent.

I wonder if he really did it.

I'd like to have been a sprained ACL.

Yeah, and then blew it out, aggravated the injury. That's blue. Speaking of blew it out, I thought that's where that anecdote was going. I thought you were gonna say, and then meat came.

So as I was reading it, I thought that's where it was going. Oh my God, he fucking shot one. No, he heard it say CL.

Incredible.

That's like, you know, that is the most Seagal who knows holy shit anecdote in a while.

Oh God.

Okay, the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. How to Steak Award.

I alluded to this earlier, but this is everything that we have lost in romantic comedies where like now it's like The Purge but a romantic comedy, or like two people who hate each other on a travel influencer wedding trip. But, you know, it's like, just give me a story of a relationship. That's really all I want. Not even that hot of a take.

It's a good take. It's a strong take.

But like, I think, I think it really starts to change around like Wedding Crashers, for instance, where it's like, ooh, like, like, what if these guys crashed weddings? And it's like everything has to have a what if instead of just—

no, they're—

these people want to fuck and then they don't for a little while and then they do again.

Yeah, mine was, uh, I think she should have been more of an inspiration for other actresses really going for it in this movie, all over the place, right? People don't have sex scenes in rom-coms really ever. They're usually these PG or PG-13 vehicles to accentuate some— Demi Moore's like, I'm just going for it this whole movie. Jennifer Lawrence did that in the movie that came out 2 years ago. Where she got naked for one of the scenes. But just in general, is that the one where she's with the kid?

No hard feelings.

No hard feelings. In general though, everybody's so careful when they do these rom-coms now. I appreciated that somebody was like, fuck it, yeah, I'll do that. Yeah, I'll do this. I don't care. Rob Lowe's like, I'll show some side dick.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Let's bring those days back. What do you got?

I don't know if this is a hot take, but, um, I'm not rooting for Danny and Debbie.

Very interesting.

I'm not rooting for them, and I, I don't want them to get together at the end of the movie.

So why do you feel like— because you want something different for one of the characters particularly, or you just don't think they're a good couple?

I think that Danny is incredibly hot and has almost no other redeeming qualities, and I don't understand why, other than the fact that he is incredibly hot, Debbie would want to be with him. Doesn't make sense to me.

I think that's the only reason. What are his hobbies? He's like, big Cubs game tonight. Like, we don't even know this.

He's a Chicago guy who likes Chicago sports teams, is playing an outdated, outmoded style of softball, doesn't have a college education, and is selling like restaurant supplies.

Yeah.

He and she has probably got like an 8% loan rate on whatever he went into with the City Diner.

It'd be funny if he was just like randomly like, he's a huge Salinger guy.

Yeah.

I mean, it's like not just Catcher in the Rye, other stuff.

Can you imagine?

Night Stories.

Yeah. When he's like, you know, it's, it's what it is, no more, no less. I'm like, exactly. And that, that is what it should have remained. Like, this is a—

now, knowing what Rob Lowe looks like now and that he has not lost a lot of miles per hour, sure. Like, would you say that still?

Um, interesting question. I think definitely he was rewarded for—

he wasn't gonna lose his hair, wasn't gonna get big, you know?

Yeah, I mean, it's a great counterpoint. Yeah, he's still— he's thriving.

Casting what-ifs, um, according to the Big Bad Book of Bill Murray in 2015, Bill Murray and Nick Nolte were attached but then had an argument when they met together and both backed out.

It feels like a real, like, let's do the play in the movie for Nolte to do it.

With those two in the mid-'80s, this movie's not working.

Very different.

Bill Murray and Demi Moore hooking up I don't know if it was going to be to me more, but yeah, different vibe.

Yeah, they would have probably had to go older. Uh, in the Zwick book, he said Jonathan Demme was attached to direct and then had to back out. I don't want to do another one.

That would have been good. Yeah, really good.

Rob Lowe said he'd screen tested with Melissa Leo and Meryl Hemingway and were both in serious contention, but that Demme got the part.

There's another rumor for Debbie though. Yeah, it's pretty important to talk about.

I didn't know if I believed it, but go ahead.

Phoebe Cates. I mean, Jesus Christ, we would have had—

you wouldn't have done—

there's no way. There's no thumbs up from the stretcher for you. That's a, that's a wrap. That's a flatline for you.

Yeah.

Did he make it or not?

Oh my God, pause the movie for an hour.

We gotta figure this out.

They're on the set of ESPN.

Yeah.

Um, Joey Pants Award, best that guy. The diner owner, I don't know what that guy's name is. Danny's boss, George DiCenzo.

Yeah.

Um, who's been in a whole bunch of stuff and played Bugliosi in the Helter Skelter movie. But I think the winner is Demi Moore's boss, Robin Thomas, who is the bad guy in Summer School.

Yeah.

And he's one of those guys. And do you know who that guy is? Yeah, he's one of those Yes, down waiters lady. Uh, obviously we know who's winning this. Shout out to the married lady.

I'm looking at the gun, it says 105.

Whoa, 106. Oh man, recasting couch director city. I, I wouldn't touch anything.

Not even a token could we do this in Boston from you?

No.

Okay, I wouldn't touch it. Interesting. Might have given the Debbie like one more friend. Yeah, for the 4. I don't think—

can I just say, because we— I didn't know where to put this in terms of Dionne, and I honestly couldn't spot her, but Catherine Keener is apparently in this movie as like a waitress.

Yeah, I couldn't see her either.

Is she at Mother's? Like, I couldn't— yeah, I couldn't spot her.

I don't know, I was too busy looking at Rob Lowe's side dick in the glow.

You did a lot of work.

I'm not asking you, you really rose to the occasion, no pun intended. Craig, you have a flex.

Oh man, can I go hottest take?

Yeah, all respect to John Belushi, but Jim Belushi is funnier than John Belushi has ever been in a movie.

That's finally a good hottest take.

It's been a couple of episodes where we've been kind of like, we're kind of gaming. It's late summer, nobody's really blowing any doors off, and then this fucking kid, unbelievable stuff. Just, just a kid from San Diego.

Can I ask Craig a question while we're here? So there's a line in this movie, there's a moment Joan is a teacher, she's a teacher of young children, moldor of mine. And while Joan is distracted on a call, eating her lunch, talking about fucking dudes, one of her students comes up to her and is like, "Ah, yeah, I need—" and pisses herself. And Joan says to her, "Everybody wets their pants. Nobody has to know." As the member of The Ringer who has most recently talked on a podcast publicly about pissing your pants, I was wondering if you had anything to say about this.

Well, if you did listen to the episode, you would know that I did piss my pants as a stunt double.

Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah, sure.

For Fred Armisen. In the show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, where I had to wear a pee rig as a PA on set to test out the pee rig, because Fred Armisen and I had the same waist size. So I had to test out pee rigs.

This is my favorite story. I wonder if this got cut.

Jon Hamm was there watching me pee my pants at 22 years old in New York.

Did he think it was funny, or was he just like— He seemed unbothered. Yeah. I'm sure on Mad Men, he saw worse. Yes, there's that. Do you want to embellish at all about the Balushi thing? Because the thing I love about this story take is you're almost like, I'm coming at this from— I didn't grow up with John Belushi. I wasn't watching John Belushi on the weekends. Blues Brothers is not a big thing for me. So you're just going pure. Yeah.

I'm not saying John is ever bad in a movie, but if he's always a 9 out of 10, I think this is a 10 out of 10.

It's literally take the name off the back of the jersey and tell me who's funnier.

John has obviously a style about him that's very unique. Week, but just kind of from like an acting delivery standpoint, like, this is better in my opinion.

Interesting. John never did a movie like this where he had to carry as much as Jim Carrey's in this movie, but you could argue the Animal House performance was as funny just in a job.

Yeah, it's unique. You couldn't replace that Animal House. I also watched— I like— I don't know why, but I watched According to Jim like a decent amount.

I was just gonna ask if you were a big According to Jim head, because it feels like, to Chris's point of you coming at this from a different moment in time, like it maybe influenced you.

I don't even think I've ever— what other movies is he in? Jim Belushi.

Uh, Red Heat. Red Heat. Yeah.

I don't think I've seen him in a movie or anything except According to Jim.

Real Men with John Ritter. I mean, he did a bunch of '80s movies, and then he was a fan.

Yeah. It was a pleasure to have him on the BS Podcast.

I feel like he's great. I think he actually was a pretty big deal.

I don't know how long According to Jim was on.

It was like 8 months.

He was just raking in money on that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get to like year 6 of those shows, they're just ripping money.

And then the show is named after you. And yeah.

But do you think the peeing the pants was inauthentic? It didn't look real.

What's your qualm? I just wanted your— you're, you're a piss-in-your-pants expert, so I thought you needed to comment. You know, as usual, I had some hygiene questions about just like wiping it up with a sandwich wrapper and then not washing my hands.

It's probably complicated to do that. Probably.

Maybe it was real. Maybe it wasn't a pee rig. Mine was, mine was real.

I did it on my half-ass. I know it was. It's that the big half-assed thing is the dating history of Demi Moore and Rob Lowe. What's true and not true, which it just sounds like neither of them even know at this point, 40 years later. Apex bound. Rob Lowe, I think so. I'm gonna say yeah.

Well, this is like peak West Wing.

Is this when did Rob Lowe have the most juice? Because when Rob Lowe left West Wing, that was a massive deal. But he was like a big star of West Wing. Yeah, he was one of the people on it, but he wasn't the star. This was like— he's still toe-to-toe with Cruise in the mid-'80s. I would say it's right around here. Interesting.

Demi Moore, no, certainly not. Landman, season 2.

Jim Belushi, probably season 6 of According to Jim. Yeah, breakup scenes. What's the best breakup scene ever?

Well, a breakup that sticks or just a knockdown drag out? This is devastating.

But I actually think Before Midnight.

That's what I was going to say. Before Midnight is definitely the answer.

That's the one that you won't even, like, touch because it's too—

Yeah, I don't even want to watch that movie.

I think it's the best of the three.

That's probably the answer. Elizabeth Perkins. I think it's probably Big and after. Yeah. Miracle on New Year's Eve rom-com scenes. A lot of, lots of interesting here, including When Harry Met Sally, right? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? You want the rest of life? You start as soon as possible.

I think that's the climax of When Harry—

I think that's the edge.

That's it.

Yeah. Rom-coms? No, absolutely not. Bars and movies? Talked about this earlier.

It's way up there. I just want a quiet old-fashioned at the Continental. I don't know, that's what I'm looking for.

At the Continental from John Wick? Yeah.

What's the bar in Thief? Greenie's or something like that. That's—

this should just be a special rewatchable episode. We count down our 12 best bars ever in a movie.

I mean, you could do that as a recurring series. You could do the full definitive house list, the bars, all of it. That'd be great. Chicago Softball, definitely.

Chicago movies, no. Chicago period, I think, yes. '86, right after the '85 Bears. Jordan's there. They're filming movies there left and right. Yeah, fucking amazing. Cruise or Hanks? Cruise.

Cruise would be a great Danny, I think. Great. Cruise would be good.

Yeah. Was there a better title for this movie?

I like Sexual Perversity in Chicago, but I don't really find this movie that perverse. So yeah, I like About Last Sex. And I like the ellipsis.

Yeah. The Billy Batts Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult was your hottest take.

What's my hottest take?

I mean, not your hottest take, your flex. Your flex. Yes. The new category of the Mila Kunis Forgetting Sarah Marshall Award for is this the hottest anyone— this person has ever been in a movie. Oh man, you can answer for Rob Lowe.

Oh God, I don't think so, just because '80s hair is not my personal vibe. Okay, so, and I, as you know, prefer an older man. Okay, so you go— I would— I just would prefer him in like West Wing or Parks and Rec as he aged. In a very refined fashion for Rob Lowe.

And what's the Demi Moore answer? Could basically change for any movie.

I mean, I'm going G.I. Jane. I'm going Substance.

Indecent Proposal. I think it's Indecent Proposal.

Yeah, that's real. That's tough. What year is that? '93. '92, '93. '93. That's, that's electric.

Great stuff by her. When is Disclosure? We did— oh, Disclosure. She looks great too. That's, that's like 2 years after.

Yeah, it's early '90s.

Kind of quietly done a lot of Demi Moore movies.

Yeah, no surprise. She's racked up a lot.

We did About Last Night, Ghost, Ghost, St. Elmo's Fire, Disclosure, A Few Good Men.

Yeah, we did Indecent Proposal.

Indecent Proposal. That's 7. Pretty good.

She's in that. Oh yeah.

Oh, 8. Wow, she's moving up the rankings. Jesus. Picking nits. Debbie's friend hitting on Danny's never sat right with me.

No, there's a couple of friend fouls in here that I think that would have caused some more, more drama.

You're not doing that.

I believe Pat would do it. The picking nit to me is that Debbie still hangs out with her after that. Yeah, that's crazy. Like, she saw, she saw this, right?

So Wouldn't she get mad at Pat? Yeah, exactly.

The fact that they're just hanging out after is, like, nuts.

The movie can't decide if they're friends or not.

I have a movie-breaking picket this time around and just in general. Oh, no. I don't care if Favio has had me execute Gus in front of his family, and then as I come home, I find out that the Chicago fire has broken out again. If I walk in my apartment and Demi Moore is painting it without a bra on, You're gonna fuck. I'm, I'm happy about my life.

You're gonna have to—

you're gonna have a conversation coming home and she's wearing fucking like, what is it, like a tank top with no bra and overalls and is like, hey Danny, and he's just like, it's looking at the paint on the palm of his hand, ball and chain here, busting my chops, painting the house. It's like, are you— there's maybe no one's ever looked hotter for like 12 seconds right there.

It's like the other guys, oh, they got a ball chain.

It's nuts that he's— that's what you're wearing.

Yeah, great one, Chris. Great one.

Great one. Really good Sierra. Uh, the breakup scene's incredible, but the— she turns the lights on and then at the end the lights are off again.

Yeah, there's some continuity. You can't— is it just because they're zoomed out?

No, it gets dark again.

Yeah, I think, and then lost the thread there.

Dan having the money to reopen the diner Yeah, I didn't even know in '86, before the first crash. I don't know if you're just like, yeah, got $100 grand here, open a diner. Dad doesn't have a fucking $100 grand. He's like 22. Yeah, the bank's like, here.

I know. God, I, I think the way that this guy who is canonically established as 24 years old talks about his career is definitely in the picking nits category. Yeah. Honey, it's what I do. I've spent my life stuffing more unneeded restaurant supplies on the shelves of more unneeded restaurants. Than any other salesman in Chicago. He's like 23.

What are you talking about?

That's insane. For Debbie, if you don't want your Girl Scouts Hope Chest, his with the heart stitched all around it, little like homemade bandana cloth to be used to wipe up tea, don't keep it in a basket on the kitchen table.

Team Danny, aren't you? You put that in your top shelf.

I'm team neither.

She really thinks Debbie's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. She's a loon.

She's an absolute— I think she's literally perfect.

Yeah, I loved it too. I thought she was a home run.

She seems awesome. She seems like she'd be like, what do you want to watch?

I think Danny is a nothing. Debbie is a winner, but with like a tendency to just fall into these fits of hysterics that feels, um, like an intentional choice.

There's also like a little bit of like when Debbie first starts dating Danny, he's like, hey, I got this secret place to watch the Cubs games. It's like, cool, sure. But then when you move in and it's like, so you like— every single piece of clothing you have is Bears, Blackhawks, or Cubs. Like, what are we doing here?

That's great. That's like my wardrobe. Yeah.

I have a couple small picky nits. Um, I would have loved to have seen some of the basketball game with Danny.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Just, would— did Bernie play? Like, just what were the dynamics? Was Danny a point guard, shooting guard? I just had a lot of questions.

Yeah, he's a two guard for sure. He feels very Maravich-y to me.

Debbie's boss, like, by the way, definitely would have been hooking up with the— that's not a picky nit. He was so kind of skeevy. Oh yeah, yeah, that one didn't add up to me.

He's not even making like a— he's like very openly like pursuing her, dating her, like checking in on her.

He's like turning the lights off at the holiday party, pinning her against the copy machine, and she's like, can you—

I don't really go to that holiday party.

Yeah, that's That's right.

I don't see Deb going for him. Um, not our Deb. Sequel, prequel, prestige, should be all Black cast, or Untouchable. This happened. Yeah, they sequelled it in 2014.

They did the all-Black cast. And Lowe said that there was various efforts to make a Danny and Debbie check-in movie at various points.

So if they did that, it's probably after he has juice from The West Wing and she's just starting to date Ashton Kutcher, trying to kind of reinvent herself a little bit, and maybe it's like a 15 years later.

But what's the plot of that movie that makes sense to you and feels worthwhile? There isn't one.

That's why it didn't happen. Yeah.

What if they're divorced but they have a kid and so they have to see each other at some of the, like, oh, who's picking up— kids' softball games? Exactly. It's your day to pick up for— oh, across the way, you brought the orange slices today. And then they fall back into it. I mean, I could be convinced.

Yeah, I would watch that. Bernie's dead.

I had a question about that.

A heart attack. For sure Bernie's dead.

There's no question about it. Do you— this was unanswerable questions, but do you think Bernie made it to the Cubs World Series 2016?

There's no chance. I think at Mother's they had his picture up.

Bernie got his head caved in at Mother's one night by talking shit to somebody's girlfriend, and somebody caved his head in.

I forgot another picky nit is that nobody mentions MJ in this movie. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, they could have slid him in, or we could have seen Jersey or something. Uh, is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Froggy the Florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Dr.

Charles Nickel, Ted Levine, or someone else? Ladies and gentlemen, my friend Bernard Litko does not feel well, obviously, so if you just go on with your dessert and coffee, I'll be right back. Amazing. Chicago, get a little, little Dr. Charles Nichols in there. Maybe while Bernie's like mid-flak jacket story.

That's fantastic, Vic. Wonderful. I thought you might give us a little Wayne Jenkins, but he's actually Mikey from The Bear.

Oh yeah, because it would be Chicago.

It would be Chicago. I thought you might have done that, but no.

Mikey from The Bear would have been a good one. Yeah, I was gonna do a Ryan Ruocco, but I'm not gonna do it. Something with the— tied in with the sex scene. Now Demi's on top. Got it.

She's painting the house.

Now she's gonna ride him, you bet. Just want to ask her who gets it. I go Demi, you go Perkins.

Perkins. Perkins. What's for breakfast? Egg McMuffin. Corner of Broadway and Belmont.

Fast. Zwan, what happened the next day? Did they get married? I didn't have that.

I had city diner goes out of business, Mr. Favio sticks the Chicago mob on Danny and Litko for stealing restaurant supplies.

Oh, I like it. I had the— that's about last night too.

Alex, she of the fur coat, uh, who he fucked at the motel, calls and is like, pregnant. I gave you chlamydia. Oh, oh, I thought you were gonna say something worse.

It was 1986.

I gave you chlamydia or gonorrhea or genital warts, something, you know, paying off the prophecy. Of Joan saying, I think he's gonna get a disease. Oh, oh, right. This guy's fucking his way around town. And then they break up again.

Unanswerable: were Bernie's stories real?

No, no, of course not. Of course not.

Do we ever see Bernie go home with a girl? Yeah, other than Joan.

Sadly didn't get to see that either. It's just inferred.

Um, my unanswerable was, are all four of these characters from Chicago or the surrounding area? Oh, interesting. I think Bernie and Danny are. Do you think Deb Jones from like Winnetka? Yeah, I mean, I guess in this era people were a little bit more regional, right? Like, you wouldn't—

who's more like most likely to be from a John— the John Hughes town? Oh, Deb.

Deb for sure. Deb. I think Debbie came to Chicago for college and stayed, like went to art school or whatever. Yeah, she wearing the Northwestern sweatshirt at some point, but yeah, she's doing the, the advertising agency art stuff. She stayed. She's not— I don't I don't think she grew up here, but I agree with you. Bernie is of the city.

But I think that Joan and Deb met on a roommates thing.

Yeah. College or after college. We know they didn't know each other before then because of the high school conversation. So they didn't grow up together.

Because she also says, we've been friends a long time. I would say high school friends.

Everyone in the movie talks like they're 57, and they're not.

Memorabilia you'd most want from the movie? Give me anything Mother's Milk.

It's got to be the—

I think the Mother's Milk. Baseball jersey, t-shirt. Shirt, hat. Yeah, I'll take anything, whatever's available.

Not the Jordans.

Well, those would be—

I mean, that would be great. Had kept the Jordans from About Last Night, which are the most expensive edition of those Jordans.

That's like an impossible shoe. That would be a great one to have.

Have they reissued them though?

Oh well, yeah, they put out the Breds pretty regularly, but like the actual— the band from '84 That's an iconic piece of sneaker history.

What is the band?

Well, the story around like, oh, the colorway, right? It's banned. Can't wear them. He's gonna get fined every time he wears them. So there's the bread, the bread, the bread toe, but then banned is a subset of that. Gotcha. I think this is my— sorry, I just want to keep you guys out there from getting this wrong. The Jordans would be a great— that would be like a good investment.

Mother's Malone is probably a little more serviceable. Coach Finstock, Mr. Miyagi were best, worst life lessons?

Mm, I think Don't Ever Lose Your Sense of Humor, Dan. That's a good one.

That's a good one. I like it.

Yeah. Double feature?

Would you go Chicago?

I mean, I think if you wanted to watch more Demi and Rob, I would just watch St. Elmo's Fire.

That was my pick too. Yeah. Especially because they're so proximate to each other in time. Yeah. Who won the movie?

Belushi. Belushi. I think it's true. I think it is true.

There's no question. I have Demi. Of course you do. Of course I do. Who won the movie? Demi. Let's hear it, Craig.

You didn't see this movie? I loved it. 5-star classic.

Um, it's like all you want from a movie, right? All I want. Oh my God.

Yeah. Did you watch it with Liz or solo?

Liz was at dinner, so I watched it solo. I almost did the, the okay motherfucker award for when the sex montage begins. Yeah, I like— I was kind of laying on my side. I actively kind of sat up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, this is what we're doing now.

It's actually bizarre. The nudity in this movie is astonishing. Yeah, like, it is just so not what they would do now. The fact that these actors were 21 years old and they're like, we're gonna do real intense, passionate lovemaking, it's great, full nude, multiple times throughout the movie. Multiple times. I, I guess it helps the story. Probably not. Not super necessary to do it as much as they did. You might need a little bit of it.

Disagree.

Um, I actually thought it did help the story.

It does. It's like, makes it centered around the fact that like the only thing they are good with together is like having sex.

You have to believe that they love having sex. Sure. Yeah, there's no other reason.

It's like, it's like softcore porn. Like, it's like, it's like Skinemax.

It's like, no question.

Yeah, you know, like the way it is very specific. Yes. Um, yeah, they went 4 for 4 on the casting. Like Chicago of it all. I loved every bit of it. It was great.

I'm so not surprised. I'm, I'm pleased. I feel seen.

I do think, um, I, I thought the only weird part of the movie was like they're just too young. I, I think like it all works. I think that there was a little bit of like 27.

I feel like the problems make more sense in the '80s. I think there was less— yeah, just use your 20s to figure out who you are.

I think it was a little bit more like go to college, get a job, and then Yeah, I didn't quite buy the, like, they're 23 or whatever, they move in and they feel like, like they can't go out on New Year's Eve because they have to make dinner and celebrate alone.

And one of them was like, I am not thinking about marriage. And the other one's like, I want to have 10 kids. I, I think this is like, why do you have to host Thanksgiving?

Do you not have families? Like, where—

you're both right. I think this feels weird now. And I think you're right that it feels weird because it's 2026 and that it wouldn't have felt weird.

Yeah, that's your answer for where are they from?

Oh, they must not be from Chicago.

No family.

None of them mention their family for Thanksgiving. They all— when you're 23 or whatever, you go—

then how does Danny wind up in the restaurant supply business?

Maybe it's just a big show of like, we're doing our first independent thing.

I put pecans in the dressing. I'm like, this is not— if it was a movie about the crisis of like turning 30, maybe this plays, but they just all felt a little young.

I agree.

I do think that was the era a little bit though, where some people just didn't go to college. Yeah, yeah. And they started working when they were 18 and than 20.

I just mean like, but Danny's mom would probably be like, you can come home and do your laundry every, every weekend if you want to.

Yeah. With that said, if the family's in there, we don't get the Thanksgiving scene of just the four of them. We get like an annoying aunt. We're the poorer for it. Yeah.

I also really like the ending. Great detail that like they're all like, we're gonna go to like a bar after Thanksgiving dinner, you know? Yeah. So you like the ending?

I thought the ending was really sweet and honestly kind of realistic. I when you're like in your early 20s and everyone's doing the breakup get back together thing, I actually think the way it plays out at the end of the movie would happen in real life, where like they have a horrible breakup and like 3 months later they're like, should we try it again? Like, yeah, fuck it.

Yeah, that's real. You know who never had a horrible breakup? Craig and Liz. Just unassailable love from day one.

Yeah, I went strong. Hitless streak.

I knew immediately as soon as, as soon as they started dating, I was like, that's a wrap.

By the way, yeah, how slack me during this. The Ringer has a soccer team.

We should— we can go to This is bullshit. Really nice. Talking about— you didn't know that? No.

The Ringer has a soccer team. I think Jomie's on it. People play. Maybe Kai. No fucking idea. There's a soccer team. There's a league that Ringer staffers play in.

I thought that we used to have guys who played soccer and there was—

I would 100% go to a Ringer soccer game.

Well, it exists. Where?

Ask them where it is. Where do they play?

They play at Heroin Needle Park. Yeah, that sounds great. He's type—

how's typing? Okay, we play at John Ferraro.

They play at Fentanyl Field.

I don't know who John Ferraro is.

John Ferraro. I'm 1,000% going to a Ringer soccer game. He said it's off the 5. Can Zoe Simmons play a guest game on the Ringer?

I bet it's— yeah, I'm looking at this park now, it looks lovely. Yeah, we used to play in a basketball league back in the days, like Richie and Micah. Yeah.

Yeah, didn't anybody blow their Achilles out during that though?

I think everybody was afraid they were going to because Heifetz was chasing them down. Oh, because Heifetz is all—

that was when the legend of Heifetz really started, when he was like Ronnie Lott. Yeah, he was like Ron Artest crossed with a football safety. Like, people actively didn't want him to—

yeah, you would like— if it was him coming down like the barrel on a fast break at you, like, you bail out of the way.

I feel like I've watched Heifetz's entire life happen. We have.

Like, he's gone from being like this overzealous kid to being like, fridge ham, think about it, you know. Right, he's 62 now.

I think B-Cham is inspired.

And he'll probably die soon of like a fantasy football commissioner-related—

he talks about his like his wide shoes that he has to wear because his feet— he's the best. The Brooks, the Brooks Fives.

Yeah, it's a quirky ring or soccer team. Maybe we should start a 16-inch softball team.

Yeah, why not? We should. Why not? I mean, there are, there are like leagues we could join.

I think, uh, what about flag football?

It'd be funny if it was like Bill's insisting he's pitching again. Yeah, Bill keeps going.

What sport do you think The Ringer is best suited to compete in? Oh, interesting question. Uh, damn, if we're playing other like media companies, just the LA—

I mean, honestly, probably trivia.

No, I don't know. I feel like media companies, we'd have an advantage. You think? Yeah, because we have a lot of younger people.

What sport though? Just—

we don't have the same height we did for basketball in the past.

We have some sneaky times.

Maybe the soccer.

Mahoney's tall. Mahoney's tall.

Joe's tall. Flyin' Isaac. I'm kind of lanky. Yeah, other Craig is tall. J.

Kyle Mann still playing. That's right. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Jacoby.

Oh, Jacoby. Can we throw Heifetz in like PJ Tucker?

No, Heifetz is like the Morris twins. Yeah, Lance Stevenson.

I think that we would have a good softball team. I do. We'll workshop this. Maybe, uh, kickball.

I wonder if me and Adam Friedland should start managing the soccer team.

He's calling you 9 times a day thinking about putting Heifetz at sweeper. Um, all right, about last night, so glad we did it. 40th anniversary, check it out on Netflix. Thanks to Craig, thanks to Gahow. Uh, I don't know, I feel like we've peaked. You want to announce next week now that it's already taped? Oh yeah, the Respeed is, uh, gonna be Monday. Wow, one of the first ones we've ever done on Netflix, and it's on Netflix right now.

And that movie fucking rocks.

That movie is— yeah, spoiler alert, best movie ever made.

We'll see you on Monday.