Transcript of You Can’t Win With Money if You Keep Ignoring the Real Problem

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Doctor John Deloney, PhD in counseling. Ramsay personality, number 1 best selling author. He's my cohost today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Stacy's in Cape Town, South Africa. Hi, Stacy. What's up?

Hi. How are you guys?

Better than we deserve. Wonderful food scene there. Y'all got some nice restaurants, kiddo.

Alright. Are you guys hanging in tight for my story?

We're ready. Bring it.

Okay. So my question is, how do my husband and I navigate the very strange relationship we now have with his family after multiple instances of disloyalty and dishonesty. So my father-in-law needs to repay a loan of a $100,000 to us and hasn't done it yet. It's been 2 years now. And 4 months ago, the in laws and my husband wanted to start a new business.

They actually own a family business, and that was around the time when we moved into our new home. They sold a house, and a couple of days later, I asked my husband to put our house up as their loan guarantee for their new business as it was worth around $2,000,000. And, oh, my husband wouldn't be the business owner, but just an employee. So since then, the relationship I

assume your husband said no.

My husband went he was so angry. He said, not only no, but now pay us back a $100,000 straight away. And now he's just keep distancing himself from them, which I totally understand. But how do we navigate this situation? How do we get the $100,000 back?

I I have no idea.

Wow. When the, what the is there any documentation or legal contracts on the $100,000, or

was it just a handshake? The bank. Oh, no. When we did the bank transfer, we, it literally shows up as loan to x y zed

on the

bank. That doesn't matter. I mean, they didn't sign a note? They didn't sign a contract with you to repay?

No. It was just verbal.

So it's a handshake, and you wired them the money? Okay.

Yes. Alright.

And was there any, discussion at the time as to what the repayment terms would be?

Yes. At the time, they said that as soon as they sell their house, because they had a not a secondary house that they didn't use, as soon as they sell their house, they're going to pay us back. But they're

not all And then they did sell their house?

You?

Then they did sell their house.

No. No. They didn't. But they've had multiple offers. They just keep turning them down.

Okay.

Offers that match their asking price.

Okay. Alright.

Yeah.

Wow. You got yourself in a pickle, didn't you?

Yeah. I know. I know. And now my husband is feeling a bit guilty, and he's he keeps asking me if if he a good person because he's told his dad now to repay everything back. And Yes.

She's a yes. She's a good person. His dad is not.

Yeah. Well, the mom's getting involved and telling everybody that we are money minded, and we are keeping our kids out

of debt. What they told you. What they tell people what they tell people doesn't matter. They don't really get a vote because they're the people that don't pay bills and and propose absurd business things. They don't get a vote anymore.

They lost their vote. What they tell people or what they think is irrelevant. Agreed?

Yes.

Other than it hurts your husband's feelings, but, I mean, that his dad's being a twerp to him. But yeah. John?

Are are are y'all of means, Stacy? You live in a $2,000,000 house. I'm assuming y'all have money.

Yes. Yes.

This is easy for me to say on this side of the of the ocean, but you're probably not gonna get that money back and just your husband making laps around the living room every night, existentially wondering if he's a good person. Is he costing his relationship with his dad? Is yada yada? I don't know.

Yes. I can That's exactly what's happening.

I can imagine there here's the deal. He your father-in-law needs to pay back the money. He's probably not going to. He probably can't. And y'all now Dave and I have been talking about this forever.

Dave's for 3 decades before I even showed up. When you loan a family member money, you change the nature of your relationship together. Now you are invested in them accepting an offer on their house. Right? That that's an that's an inter that's a transaction that should be between them and their any potential seller, and what they wanna do, and what they wanna keep 2 houses or not.

But now you're invested in it, and you are now judging from afar their interactions, but it's because y'all loan them money. Yeah. Right? So now there's there's it the whole thing's a mess. I can see a world where your husband sits down with his dad and says, dad, I got mad.

I blew my top. What's reasonable for repayment? And there's also a thing where he says, dude, this is a gift. I'm writing it off. I'm moving on with my life.

Mhmm. What's Charles' net worth?

I think about 11,000,000.

Okay. So 1 possibility is take a deep breath, call dad, and say, dad, I shouldn't have loaned you this money without any documentation. I made a huge mistake. It's costing us our relationship. I'm not going to do any business with you because I can't really trust you on transactions.

But, we still do wanna have dinner with you. We still wanna interact with you, and, we're gonna forgive this loan. Forget it. Don't worry about it. Your life won't change 1 instant if you do that, except you'll be free.

Right now, you guys spend are are burning $10,000,000 worth of calories over a $100.

True. Yep.

You could let it go for your sake. You could. That's 1 possibility. The second possibility is almost do that, but just let it go, but don't say anything. And just forget it, walk away.

And then if it if they do pay you, let that be just like a pleasant surprise. But don't even have a conversation with them about it. Just forget it, and just walk away. But you guys are are it's destroying y'all. It's you know, they're sitting over there smiling.

Yep. You're sitting over here freaked out. But again, I and if I'm in your shoes, I'm also gonna own my part of this. And the only part of this I really would call you 2 out on is, you should never have done this transaction. And if you were going to do the transaction, you should have had a lot more business minded about it.

Handshake on a $100 is ridiculous.

Mhmm. Yeah.

And so you asked for it. So when I do something stupid and it costs me money, I call it stupid tax. So I think you paid a $100 in stupid tax. It's just a matter of when, and when you want to pay it. Whether you want to tell them today, or whether you want to just forget it, and say I'm a pretend like this never happened.

I'm not even gonna bring it up in my mind again. We're not gonna bring it up in our marriage again. We're not gonna ever do business with these people in any scenario, but we can be kind to them. They're they're blood family.

I I I like option 1. I like the, there's there's something about owning it and calling dad and mom and saying, I shouldn't have done this. I did it, and y'all are free from it. And we'll be over for dinner on Sunday. I'm gonna move on with my life.

And for you regular people, it would be like if you loan them a $100.

Or a $1,000. Right.

Right. Right. Or a $1,000. You you people that don't have $11,000,000. So just just kinda you get this all it's all about ratios here.

Okay? So so it's for some people

Don't loan family members money. Give it to them or say no. Thank you.

Yep. Period. No exceptions. That's the rule. Give it to them.

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Doctor John Deloney, Ramsay Personalities, my co host today. Brenda's in Las Vegas. Hi, Brenda. Welcome to the Ramsay show.

Hello.

Hi. What's up?

My husband and I are well, my parents are moving from their home in Florida. They're going to be selling their home there and moving to where we live, which is in Las Vegas.

Mhmm.

And that is a big difference economically. It's a much more expensive city to live in than where they are rurally. Talking with my parents, we just they just wanna make a wise decision on what they need to do with moving here. So there we've been talking through, would it be better for them to rent a house at their age, they're 80 78? Would it be better for them to purchase a home in this economy?

And my husband and I have also talked about the possibility of us purchasing a home and then just renting it to my parents. No. But we wanna make a wise choice, and so we just I thought I will just call you and see what you think.

Yeah. I'll pass on the rent to my parents option. So they're gonna sell their property there, and it's worth what?

Probably a good half a1000000.

And they can't buy anything in Las Vegas for half a1000000. Come on.

They can. But I don't think it's it's not whether they can afford it or not. They know they can afford it. I think they just wanna make sure that long term, at their age, would that be still a good choice? I I figured that

would be a good choice. Condo that I didn't have to do any maintenance on in in an area that demographically, you know, I'm not moving into a neighborhood with a bunch of 20 year olds if I'm 80.

No. There's a 55 plus community near us.

Yeah. Exactly. Look at. And those those properties if when these 2 pass away someday, then you can market that property without any trouble. You're not gonna be stuck in it.

It's not a weird property.

Right. No. It it would be a good property. So buying, purchasing

Yeah. Pay cash for a pay cash for half 1,000,000 or less. That's what they're moving the other property out for. Right?

Yes.

Yeah. They they may live for another 20 years, and so you got 20 years of rent going up. And I I would wanna be in my seventies eighties with my biggest asset, set.

Your biggest expense in every budget is is housing. And when it goes up every year, you've destabilized your environment.

Let's take it off the table.

Yeah. So let's stabilize the environment. 0 payments. And now now we've got a sustainable situation with peace for them, and they're near you. And by the way, the difference in where are they moving from in Florida?

It's a very rural

I know. I heard that.

Community in the Panhandle.

Yeah. Okay.

Alright. Near near Panama City. Yeah.

Alright. But the difference in cost of living there and the cost of living in Las Vegas is very little except real estate.

Mhmm. Real

estate real estate is way different. I'll go along with that. But a gallon of gas is about the same. A loaf of bread is about the same. Mhmm.

It's

not like double in Vegas where it is the Panhandle in Florida. I mean, it might be 10¢ more a gallon or something like that. It's 10¢ more gallon in my neighborhood than it is 1 county over because they can get away with it in my neighborhood. But, you know, that you're gonna get some of that kind of stuff. But but by and large, cost of living, when you say that, you know, really, electricity, not substantially different.

You know? Property taxes, maybe higher. Yeah. Might have that. But real estate related things, that's where you see most that drives most cost of living indexes into a spiral.

If you take real estate out of cost of living indexes, you don't find huge differences in a household budget from city to city. You find some difference, but not huge differences. So then that changes the conversation too when you reframe it that way.

And, Dave, tell me if my matrix is wrong here. I've got you you've got Brenda whose parents are in their seventies. So let's I always wanna pretend they might lift to 90. K? Yep.

That's 5 more presidential elections from now. To think we could predict what the world will look like in 20 years. It feels better for me to say, I don't know. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna solve for peace in the present, and that looks like no house payment. Yep.

That feels like a wiser choice than trying to speculate on. Was this gonna be a good investment? What's gonna happen in 20 years? And who who knows?

Who knows? So here's the thing. I mean, that's a really good point to pan back and keep perspective. Because in 2008, when the real estate market, Vegas was 1 of the it was the fastest growing city in America at that point. And they got crushed.

And they got the hardest hit on the bubble. They had the most the most value loss of any city in in America. Now it rebounded very quickly.

I was

gonna say, and if you'd walk in with with with a $100,000,000 of cash and just started buying places, you would be worth an unfathomable amount of money. Right?

A trillion. Yeah. You'd be worth 10 x.

And so it just does, like so who knows?

Yeah. But you and who would have predicted 2,008? Because Vegas was a boom town. Mhmm. If you'd have done this deal in 2,007, 2006, you wouldn't you know?

You you're exactly right. Who knows? Because, it's odd that that but it did. It went it went in half. You could buy real estate everywhere.

Wow. And then it bound bounded right back. Thank god. It's a wonderful city.

The last time I was there, they're building like crazy.

Economically, it's a wonderful city again. Yeah. But but that just tells you, 2008 is not that long ago. Right. We're we're only 15 years.

Yep. So that, you know, it's not that that's a good point. And that, gosh, if you'd have done this deal back then and they were 20 years later, 30 years later. 30 years 20 years is a long time.

Or maybe tell me if this is a bad way to look at it because I don't look at things like real estate investment. But let's say things let's pretend it went half again in 20 years and mom passes away dad passes away they live 20 more years great times the grandkids and yet to sell that place you're still walking with a check for 3 or $400,000 and you've lost, let's pretend it cuts in half, which it won't

from today from today. Wow. That would be unprecedented.

You still walk away with a chunk of money. Right? It's still you're still okay is what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I guess this long term stuff, like, I don't know. I guess

there's If you pan back, you make better decisions.

Yeah. Just solve for peace right now.

Yeah. Solve for peace long term too. Make better decisions. I was doing a podcast, this morning with a friend of mine that just started a new 1 that's famous. It'll be out later.

And she she I said, that stuff we teach, these biblical financial principles, they're the only financial principles that work in good times and bad times. Yeah. So if we have a banner wonderful year in 2025, she's asking what 25 is gonna do. I said, you know, these are the same principles that are gonna work, but they're also the same principles that work when we're not having a banner year. That's right.

So you solve for peace both times, and that that gets us there. So Martin is in Columbia, South Carolina. Hey, Martin. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Yeah. Hey. Thank you for taking my question.

Sure. What's up?

Yeah. I just got a quick question. I'm 34. I got no savings. I got a baby on the way in May.

Yay. And and my credit score is in the crapper, and I don't know where to begin to be billed.

Awesome. You're in a great place. So the baby was like a wake up call marked in time to get real. Right?

Yeah. That's what the wake up call was. And then $27,000 in debt.

Yeah. What do you make?

Which may not seem,

What do you make?

Close to $2 a month, maybe a little bit more depending on how much I work.

What do

you do for a living?

Take care of animals.

Mhmm.

You don't make much money, man.

I've also I don't, but I also have options of buying the business if I work hard enough.

Why would I want this business? It doesn't make any money.

That's no. That's true. So Yeah. I'm also thinking about getting into trade work too. So

Of what kind?

Plumbing.

Yeah. Well, that would triple your income.

But it's gonna be 7 years before you make any money.

I'll be triples income as an intern compared to what he's making now.

So I was hoping, like, maybe you guys might have some guidance

Okay. Sure.

Me because I'm

How old are you?

I'm 34. How

long you've been married?

Not long. Not too long.

What's that mean? Yesterday?

Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're not married yet. Okay.

We're not married yet.

We're coming in.

That's what

I thought it meant. Really not long.

Like, really not long at all. Yeah. Like, not gonna be this weekend day. Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho.

Here we go. Alright. Yeah.

We we're living together in a camper to save money.

I bet. Okay. So You

know, things are really tight

right now.

Yeah. So

you gotta go at a job 2 jobs right now.

Yeah. You need to going by. To get your income up substantially, sir. Get your little family married and get them into a little 1 bedroom apartment. You don't raise mama and the baby in a camper, honey.

Time to time to time to man up now. Time to quit playing around. Y'all were playing around going camping. Now you got a now you got a deal. Now you got a deal.

So it's time to step up. You can do it. Hang on. We'll help you. We'll put you through Financial Peace University to help you get your money together.

But dude, you gotta get your income up now. Now. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey. I'm excited to talk about a new sponsor, Burna.

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You know, it's not gonna work that way. You're going to have to leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home, boys and girls. And you do this with every dollar, you'll change everything. Hunter is in Panama City. Hi, Hunter.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Thank you, mister Ramsey. Great great to talk with you. I really appreciate you taking my question. Sure.

How can we help?

Hey. So I'm 30 years old. I'm married. Got 3 kiddos. And me and my wife right now are a little over, a $100,000 in debt.

On what?

And yep. But, yeah.

On what? A $100,000 in debt on what?

So we have we bought a piece of land, that's about 60, 60 to $65,000 we still owe on that. Mhmm. We have a car payment, which is we have about $25,000 left on that. And then I have student loans, which is about, 20,000.

Okay. What do you make?

So I make, 70 to 75,000.

Cool. And you don't live on the land. You just bought the land.

So we still yeah. We're still paying on the land.

But you don't you don't live on it?

No, sir. No. Currently, we're living with, my, wife's grandparents in a 1 bedroom, barn house. And so we're just living there. We're literally living on about $1,000 a month and the rest, we're just stalking away towards debt and trying to get completely out of debt.

I downloaded this app called, yeah, the the app you guys have, the easy money apps. I'm literally just trying to, completely get out of debt and trying to get out of it fast.

I think you meant the EveryDollar app, I hope.

EveryDollar app. Yes, sir.

Okay. Alright. If I got 1 called easy money, I'm not aware of it. But okay.

Alright. Yeah. Every dollar.

So so you make 70,000, and you're living on nothing, and you have a $105,000 worth of debt including the land?

Correct.

Yes. Yes.

What's the land worth?

So it's already up in property value. It we originally whenever we bought it, we bought it for 75. It was worth 8, it's now worth 85,000. And

Who said

in this vicinity I'm sorry?

Who

said it's worth 85?

So we had a property appraiser whenever we closed on the land. How long would you close on it? 85,000. Oh, I'm sorry. Not whenever we closed, but whenever we whenever we signed to purchase the land.

But the it was appraised at 85 when you bought it?

Mhmm. Yes,

sir. And we bought it for 75.

How long ago did you buy it?

We bought it almost a year ago.

Okay. So it could be worth even more now?

Correct.

Yes, sir. Alright.

I'm back

with you. So your question your question is what, Hunter?

Yeah. So our question is, should we sell the land and then just pay off all of our debt?

Yes.

Okay. Alright.

Yes.

Alright. That an that answers my question.

And you're free.

The only question I'm thinking about eventually building okay.

Yeah. Well, I I I think you'll have that dream come true someday, and the fact that you're living in your grandparents' barndominium tells me you like a piece of dirt, which is cool. I'm with you on that. I like dirt too. Like a little room, little elbow room, so to speak.

And, I mean, I live in a part of Tennessee where gunfire on Saturday is pretty normal sound by the neighbors. And so, you know, I like a little room. And the, you know, you're you're kinda got that in your blood. I can hear it. Not the gunfire, but the elbow room.

The, anyway, the, and you're you're you're in your early twenties, maybe?

Yes. Just I just turned 30

this year.

Okay. Alright. What do you do for a living?

So I I do wedding and elopement photography.

Cool. Okay.

Yes. So I started that about 4 years ago.

I can't imagine how interesting elopement photography is, but that that's a whole another subject. Okay. Alright. It's still pretty great.

Yeah. Please tell me you keep a little journal somewhere with just a tally mark that says not gonna make it

or gonna make it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.

I I I like that you are willing to sacrifice to get where you're going, and you're willing to make hard decisions to get where you're going. Those 2 things tell me you're going to get where you're going. So I'm not worried about you getting to live your dream. I think you're gonna get there. All I'm thinking about is what's the shortest distance between 2 points, between where you are and owning something.

So probably if I'm you, I'm saving like crazy. I'm gonna get us a little starter house. I'm gonna make a bunch of money on it over the next 4 or 5 years, and I'm gonna buy a piece of ground and build on it as my phase 2 in this process rather than, phase sub 1, which you started with the ground way before you were even out of debt on the other thing. So I and the good news is the ground will get you out of debt for now, and you got 0 payments, you can pile cash, you could be able to stack cash all in that barn, man. Just stack it in there, and then go get you a nice starter house, and let that thing go up in value like the land did, and then sell it and build on a piece of ground someday, maybe out there 5 or 10 years.

That would be where I am. And that's also about the time you're probably gonna be a millionaire.

Yeah. And there's something about putting a sitting down with your wife and y'all put it's arbitrary. Let's say 2 years. Let's put a deadline. We're gonna be out of this barn in 2 years.

Here's how much money we wanna have. What must be true? How do we get that much money? Am I gonna have to shoot on Sundays Saturday nights and Wednesday mornings? And I'm gonna I'm gonna take as many of these gigs as I can get.

I'm gonna stop saying no to things. What would and what she doing? What what must be true for us to have this dollar amount to walk out of here and get that small starter home in 24 months, 32 months. And sometimes when you put a deadline on it, it didn't feel like it's forever, and you can just work yourself silly knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, I got a pattern this hour. I gotta stop for a second. Young ladies, you need to be very clear with your fiances or your husbands. You need to say what you are really thinking and not go along with I live in the barn loft or the camper. Because there are some young ladies that'll go along with that, because they agree with the goal and they're all in, and that's fine.

I'm not talking to you. But you young ladies who these, knuckleheads that you are married to are marrying, have talked you into living in a barn loft or in a camper because they think that that's the way, you need to domesticate this wild mulephant that you have married and let them know that, ladies generally don't like living under bridges. This is a bunch of crap. And so it took me a little while to realize this because I and I can and you knuckleheads, I'm 1 of you. I'm only more advanced now.

Me too.

Because I I don't care where I live. I'm I'm the guy that could live in the barn loft for the camper or under the bridge for that matter. It does not bother me. I mean, it doesn't, really. But, happy wife, happy life is 1 of the equations.

And so, you guys are you are thinking that you're doing something very positive for the future of your family. Meanwhile, you are leaving some marks on that relationship that, because you're stupid. And, and I know this because I'm you. Okay? And so, again, there are some times that I have talked to couples that both of them are all in, and we bought a $2,000 used mobile home, and we lived in it for 3 years and saved up and paid cash for a home.

And both of them were all in. But they had an end goal. They had an end goal, number 1. And number 2, they were both all in. 1 of them wasn't going along with it because they think that they married Sir Galahad, and they didn't.

They married Goober. And so, you know, this is my wife. Bless your heart. So I'm just just warning some of you. Ladies, you need to speak up and you knuckleheads quit moving your lady that hasn't spoken up into these ridiculous situations to accomplish your dream.

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Right? And you can send us an email on the Ramsey Network app, which which is what happened today, John.

Alright. Today's Ramsey Network app, it's from Hope. And personally, this hits too close to home. So I don't appreciate it, Hope. But here we go.

My husband and I are in baby step 2 and have $12,000 more to go. We're so close. He's been fully on board with the baby steps until recently. He's an avid hunter and wants to go hunting this season. If he kills a deer, it costs around $200 to butcher it and between $21,000 to mount it.

I told him we need to decide together about hunting during baby step 2, and that I don't support him spending a $1,000 right now. I reminded him that by next season, we'd have a lot more money and freedom to spend more freely. He says, I've sucked the fun out of hunting by asking these questions. He probably had to sit sit down his pacifier to say that. He says hunting is his hobby and the only thing that makes him happy.

That's a little insulting.

Gosh. That's so dramatic. I have no problem with him hunting. I just wanna plan financially before he goes. Am I wrong?

Is his little face red? Was his little lip

stuck out?

Yeah. Like, I sound like a kid on the cereal. Someone who

pops in his in his bib. Yeah. I my money makes me happy. It's the only thing that makes me happy. Happy.

Alright. So Oh, god. You're killing.

There's 2 problems.

Come on, man. Up.

You're married

to a toddler. That's the real 1. Number 2, hope what you have done is you have created you've exaggerated this. I hunt all the time. I've never had somebody charge me even half of $200 to butcher a deer.

Really? No. What's the cost to process?

55 to $75.

Okay.

That's what it cost.

Alright.

And you can do it yourself. You can do it at home for $0. And so and then, good God. No. You don't count.

A lot of ziplock bags.

A lot of ziplock bags. True. $9. Right? $9 plus, no, this isn't the season to be mounting deer.

And again, 200 to a1000. If you're taking it to some fancy taxidermist, maybe. Again, this is 1 like it's gonna cost a 1,000. It's not. It's not.

And

Well, man, he may be or she may be. I don't know who's somebody's exaggerating.

Well, I

think she's exaggerating a bit because she don't want him doing this. And he is being exaggerating with his feelings on the other side. There's more things in his life that bring him joy than hunting. And also, it's hunting season. And him going on Saturday and shooting a deer to feed the family and to have some fun and get out in the sun is fine.

But, also, if you're gonna add $1200 as a part of this, that's insane. Right? A $1,000 plus $200.

The melodrama around this whole thing is just out of control.

So it's getting all the way beneath the sun.

Melodramatic, whether it's 1 of you or both.

I think both. I think both. And so, no. Having a plan financially before he goes, is that wrong? No.

I mean, what's 30 ought 6 cost around now?

A dollar and a half?

Dollar and a half. Okay. Yeah. That that's what it should cost him to kill a deer. Right.

Assuming he can get it in 1 shot.

Or 2. Right? So $5 in ammunition. Right? And but, hey, it can add up gas and yada yada.

I do think you're right. Having a plan financially is important. It's good. And let's take hunting off the table because this seems to be a third real topic in your house. Let's say it's any number of things that you like to do.

Baby Step 2 is survival. It's about running and gunning and you put a pause on expensive things. You put a pause on going out. You put a pause on some of these things. So I can imagine Hope hasn't gone out to eat, hadn't been on a date, hadn't got her hair hair or nails done in a year, and husband wants to go spend a $1,000 deer hunting.

I get that. I get that. But I think beneath it, we have to say yes. We're gonna have a financial plan before we do anything. Anything.

Especially in baby step 2.

Yeah. But the other thing is this. Whatever it is you're trying to fit into your budget when you're working in baby step 2, you look at it through a different lens Right. Than you do when you're rich someday. That's right.

When you're rich someday, you know, you might pay some money to go do a hunt in a certain way. That's right. You might pay someone to process the deer. You might pay someone to have a beer. But hunting is different than having it mounted.

Hunting is different than processing.

Yes.

There are 3 different activities here.

That's exactly There you go.

So we can break this apart and say, 1 possibility is hunting makes me

happy.

It's the only thing that makes

me happy. So go hunting. Kill a deer. Take it out in the backyard, butcher it, and your family will actually save money on groceries as a result.

That's right.

So it's a net gain, but no processing fee and no mounting.

Get our friend, the Butcher Brothers, on YouTube. Makes me happy.

No. That does not

that's dumb.

It's a $1,000 on

that 1. Right?

It's a $1,000, piece of decoration on your wall.

Yeah. That collects dust, and pretty soon you'll be tired of Bambi's daddy. So, but yeah. Really. Seriously.

We we've mounted a shark 1 time we caught, and that thing, we couldn't get rid of it. No. You can't get rid of it. It went from house to house, and finally, it's in somebody's attic now.

But You know what? As soon as that person dies, it's gonna end up in someone else's attic.

Oh, it's probably gonna end up in the dumpster before it's you know what I mean? It's like it it it served its it was way past its joy. But fishing makes me happy. No. It doesn't.

Okay. So there you go. Yeah. So I think the trick here is find ways to do things you love and that are a net gain. This guy could actually go hunting and it saves on the grocery bill.

Net net is 0 cost and even a positive to the family.

That's exactly right.

Yeah. That's right. Because a deer tenderloin is phenomenal.

I had 1 for lunch today.

There we go. Only my mouth just watered.

And so I I I'm saying this like someone who hunts a lot. I I I think there's some there's just some straw man going on here. There's some false realities here.

Crap going on in this shit. Yeah. Yeah. For real. So yeah.

You you he needs to say, I'm all in for our goals, and so I'm going to decrease the grocery budget. Because I'm gonna do the butchering this year myself, I'm going to not mount the anything I kill this year myself. And if hunting makes you happy, you'll shoot another 1 you can mount later.

That's right. That's We're just gonna shoot those this year. We're not gonna mount anything. We're just shooting for food this year, and I'm gonna get out and get some fresh air.

I mean

We're gonna go on

from there. Bow hunting cost anything. That Assume you get the arrow back. I mean

Those are pretty expensive, man. They're way more expensive than bullets.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. But you gotta get it back. That's what

I said.

But yeah. I mean, it it's this is Jeff. So yeah.

The the Davis feels like

he's a toddler. He if he's saying if he's really saying this, he'd be acting like a toddler if he's really saying this.

But it sounds like hope has given up a lot this year, and she wants to take him to give up his thing. And when you start keeping score, that's the death of a relationship.

Not necessary. It's not necessary. It's, you know, how can we do all how can we do as many of the things that that we both want to do and it doesn't have a net net loss to our budget that's substantial that keeps us from accomplishing our big goals, which is financial freedom. So we can if you hunt like no 1 else later, you can hunt like no 1 else.

Oh, I like that. So but here's another example. We tell people don't go to restaurants. Don't go out on dates. You can't afford it.

You're babysitpt too. But you can go for a walk together and hold hands in the neighborhood. You can put the kids to bed and light some candles and and talk to each other and make a date around your house. You just gonna have to do it differently because you don't have any money. You're broke.

And I think that's the same thing here.

Yeah. Exactly. We're

gonna find some ways to do it, but, man, everybody in this house needs to grow grow up a little bit.

Alright. Open phones this hour. Triple 88 255-225. I'm

not crazy. This is something to say you're not.

I mean, it's the difference in the kid playing rec league and the kid doing $8,000 a year in travel sports.

Is the goal to play baseball and be a good teammate and have fun? Or is it to make yourself feel better at the expense of your 12 year old?

Well, but or I mean, the family's broke, but the kid's got an $8,000 travel schedule, and he's never gonna play ball Right. Past high school. But by god, you know, what? What? I mean, really?

We established pretty quick. Daniel Ramsey is a good hockey player,

but

we established pretty quick he wasn't gonna be in the NHL. And so based on that, we decide how much we're gonna invest in this process. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, and and you can get your collarbone break broken playing high school hockey. You don't have to do this.

You don't have to do it on the road somewhere.

Hey, James. We're talking about, hunting and travel sports. Anything else you want us to talk about to get us canceled?

I was gonna put this question on with George and Rachel, but I think it worked a little better with you guys.

Yeah. George. There are I mean dealing with deer hunting. That would be good.

You would be the guy that spends that kind of money on it too. George gets

scared at the deli section at

at at Whole Foods.

It's not

in the woods. Is it gluten free?

That's all he wants to know.

Excuse me, mister Deer. Please don't eat those acorns. There's glutens in them.

That's not fair. George isn't here to defend himself. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. I'm not a fan of the big banks, and you probably already know which ones I mean.

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Doctor John Deloney, PhD in counseling, number 1 best selling author and host of the very popular Ramsey Network show, the doctor John Deloney Show. He's my cohost today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Leonardo is in Chicago.

Hi, Leonardo. How are you?

I am good, Dave. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up?

Well, Dave, I to put

it just straightforward, I kind of got luck luck in the stock market. I'm up a 180,000. But now I'm a in a midlife crisis. I don't know what to do with my life. Should I put that money, go to school, or maybe should I get a property?

I'm 24 years old. I think the properties in Chicago are not too expensive compared to other cities, but, I would love your input. And yeah.

Okay. Okay. So you hit the lotto, and you got a $180. And you're you're 24 years old.

What are

you gonna do with your life?

What are you

gonna do with your life?

What do

you wanna be when you grow up? I mean, when you're when you're 54, what what do you look back and go? I like the 24 year old Leonardo because he made a wise decision at 24. What what does that 54 year old doing at that point?

I think,

I can be a, and it's because my father is an electrician, so if I can follow through his steps, I can also get help from him. I think that's a, a noble career. Maybe not the best paying, but I I think that's a pretty good career to have.

Our our friend King Coleman just just wrote a report recently about the explosion of millionaires in who are plumbers and electricians who are creating business noble

career, but it feels like you fell backward into that to me. Like, your dad's doing it. That's how you figured it out.

Yeah. Maybe you're right. I it's just like I've always been into business. Like, I've always really liked it. I've always liked to find ways to make money lucratively, but I want stability, if I'm being honest.

I I'm tired of feeling stressed.

If you make 200,000 a year in your business, you'll be stable.

Yeah.

But you have to know you have to you have to

know when to walk away from the table. Yeah. But I'm saying don't confuse, boring with stable.

Yeah. I

Stable is stable is predictable is all stable is. And if you know how if you if you are better at business than you are at being an electrician, then running a business of some kind is different than speculating and gambling on stocks. So you could you could you could be in the business world. Maybe that's what you want to learn how to do. You wanna start and operate a business of some kind.

You may have something already in mind you'd like to do. Do you?

I actually not really, if I'm being honest. I I kind of really like real estate, which is why I wanna, like, buy a property living, like, maybe the the basement and then, like, rent out the first floor, and then I could basically live for the same price I'm living currently, which is, I've always lived below my means. I I currently, my rent is $600, and, I'm very grateful for the people that have are letting me rent here.

Hold on. Leonardo. Leonardo. Leonardo. Leonardo.

You're you're you're mimicking something you saw on Instagram. What do you wanna do? You don't wanna live in the basement while somebody lives above you.

Yeah.

What do you wanna do?

What's the 54 year old Leonardo doing that is glad that he did this? It's fulfilling. It's a predictable thing. He's used his skills and his passions to build a wonderful life for himself. What's he doing?

That's what you need to do. So I don't know what that is. I don't know if you're due today. So, I can't tell you what to do based on this call. What I can tell you is, you need to go through Ken Coleman's assessment and, finding the work you find the work you're wired to do.

I'll send you, the copy of the book and the assessment. I want you to take that and then begin to do some analysis. You might even call and talk to Ken on his show, or or jump on his website and interface with him on email. However you wanna do it. I don't care.

But, I think I think we've gotta figure out the don't make the mistake of picking a career because you think it makes money. Don't make the mistake of picking a career because your dad dead. Don't make the mistake of picking a career or attract because it's quote unquote stable. Because, people when people say something like that, what that means to me is is they don't think running their own small business is stable. And I can promise you that, there are more millionaires running small businesses than any other category.

And don't watch social media and try to quote unquote hack your way to wealth because here's what you're

gonna do. Exactly. Yeah.

You're gonna give somebody $10 for their 10 step course to how to hack their wealth, and all you're gonna do is make them rich.

Yeah. Exactly. There's not a It's not a hack. Quit looking for a way to make money. Look for a way to find something that adds value

Help somebody. Yeah.

To the world, and that gives you a sense of passion, a sense of peace. I'm gonna send you a copy of this assessment and this book on how to read the assessment. I want you to go through it in detail. I want you to take some time and prayer over it and unpack it. If you wanna call us back, you can call us back at that point.

Go over, but call back 1 day Kim Lincoln's on here. We'll go over the results with him. It would be good, because that that the results are self explanatory, by the way. But but, aside from that, I I that's what you're looking for. You're looking for something where your passions intersect your talents, not just what someone else did because it made money.

Well, I think there's a there's a the matrix is your passions and your talents, the overlay. What does the world need?

Mhmm.

It's old Frederick Beater quote. Like, what does the world desperately need that you can provide? Right? That only you can provide. Right.

And, man, go make that happen. And the money will the money will follow you, man. The money will follow you. Did Dave, he said something, and he said it in his own unique way. But it's the old it's an old psychological trope.

Wherever you end up, you go with you. He won on stocks. Young kid, $180,000. He bet right. He threw darts backwards, which is what day traders do, and he won.

And he thought that was gonna solve everything. He made more in 1 in 1 cash out than his dad did in a year, and he still was anxious. And he said, I just want peace. I'm tired of stressed out all the time. And he realized, oh, I went with me.

And so I don't want this life. I don't want this rattling around all the time. And searching for peace is always that alignment of where you providing value and where you working really hard and where you getting better and better and better at a thing that you are good at. And man, you just gotta keep doing it. It's not a hack to that.

You gotta just keep showing up and showing up and showing up and showing up.

Yeah. And that's not running to your dad's career. No. And it's not, running to a career that someone outlined is a good way to make money. That's right.

It's, it's finding how you're wired and, put together. Okay. So we know that the high stress, uber high risk environment of day trading, which is ludicrous, is not for you. It's not for anybody, but we also know it's not for you. You said that.

But you also said, I like business. Yeah. Now what's that mean? You need to unpack that, because that's very valuable phrase right there. I've always been in business for myself except for 1 3 month period of time, you know?

Yeah. And or or I've been straight commission. Yeah. 1 of the 2. Yeah.

So that I when I made money when I caused something to happen, I made money. I've always been able to make the connection between those 2. So I agree with you. I like business. But that can open up a lot of doors too.

You know, you do a lot of different things you're passionate about, and you add value to your to people in your life. This is the Ramsey Show.

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Might not be in all states.

Alright. Today's question comes from Abigail in West Virginia. Abigail writes, my in laws are too much to deal with, specifically my mother-in-law. Abigail, she knows you wrote this. She I don't know how mother in law's know.

They just know. She has to stick her nose into everything. She has a key to our house, which was bought by my husband before we got married. She's folded our laundry, cleaned our house, and moved stuff while we were not at home. Oh, man.

I've asked my husband to talk to her, but he told me he couldn't do it and told me to chill out.

You don't have a mother-in-law problem. You have

a husband problem. You have a husband problem.

You're a wuss.

God almighty. That makes me so uncomfortable to think my mom would come over to our house. My mom's amazing, but my mom would come over and go through our

unsolicited go through our stuff Without your permission.

And even more uncomfortable is my wife said, I need this to not happen again. And I said,

I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm scared of my mommy.

Oh my gosh. Abigail, you have a husband problem.

He needs to run down to Walmart on aisle 3 and pick up a backbone.

Yeah. And some Pampers while he's there. Because he might TT in his pants while he talks to mommy. Y'all need to have this come I mean, this

is awful. Yeah.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

This is awful.

Mother-in-law is gonna do what here here's the deal. I think if and maybe she's controlling, I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. I think mother-in-law is trying to love her little baby the best she knows how. She's trying

to be helpful and she screwed up.

Yes. And she doesn't think you're loving him the say the right way, but she's not gonna say anything. She's just gonna keep doing it. And I think your cute little hubby is a gigantic 14 year old, and he needs to grow up real real quick. Yeah.

So, if you say a thing, you start a 10 year feud. You can't say a thing. The only thing you can do is encourage your husband to get have a backbone. And, this is out of line. The boundaries are there's no boundaries here.

This is ridiculous, and it needs to stop yesterday. Tell him you want the locks changed, and you want him to talk. Call his mother and tell her to not come in your home without clearing it with both of you first. That you're a married couple, and this is weird, and she shouldn't be doing this. Mom, we love you.

Thank you for the help. You can't do this anymore. I've changed the locks. Your keys not good anymore, and you don't need to come in our home anymore. It's a real short calm conversation, and he needs to man up and do that.

If he cannot do that, you do not have a mother-in-law problem. You have a husband problem, and you'll need to sit down with a marriage counselor.

Correct. And by the way, it's a husband listening to this, you don't call your mom and say, hey. My wife doesn't want you coming in the house to

run anymore. Goober.

You'd be a grown up and you say I. I messed up. Leave and cleave. That's right.

Leave your mother and father.

We need to figure out how to do these things on our own.

To your spouse. Golly, dude.

And mother in laws, don't break into your kids homes and do their laundry for them unless unless there's like a medical crisis or a newborn and they've asked you for your help. Don't do that.

Even if there's a newborn and they asked for your help, you still ask permission. Yes.

Oh, of course. But I mean, that's obviously if

you've been invited Show up with a key that you had before they were married. So 1 of the best practical jokes we ever played was a key. Have you heard this 1? No. I had a personal assistant 25 years ago.

Beautiful Christian lady. And she got engaged. So for her engagement party, all the guys, we took her to an ice hockey game in Nashville. And the the announcer at the hockey game was a friend of mine. And so, 1 of the guys in the office that was with us, it was about 10 guys, went all throughout the whole section and handed every guy a key.

Went to the hardware store and got keys. And the announcer said, Sheree is getting married next week. Anyone that has a key to her apartment needs to bring it to her. And, like, 500 guys got up and started bringing keys to her. It was so it was such a wonderful practical joke.

But, yeah, that's that's much better than this 1.

This just makes me sad.

Yeah. This is bad. Yeah. So

And can I tell you this 1 thing? So 1 time, a friend of mine, they were having some family stuff and, it was a couple friend of me and my wife's, and we've gone forever and ever and ever. And they were going through some, like, just somebody passed away or something. And I said, hey, let's get them a house cleaner.

Mhmm.

Just to come in and clean up. And my wife looked at me and said, are you crazy? So what do you mean? She said, you know what that would feel like to me if somebody came over to see us, and then they hired someone to come clean my house.

Oh, it'd be like an insult.

It'd be insult. And so I've gotta say, mom coming over to clean the house and do the laundry is a little bit of a flex. Oh. Right? It's a little bit of a flex.

And so

It's like cooking a little lasagna.

It's like It's

the recipe you got for lasagna.

You're not taking care of my little my little boy The way he deserves to be taken care of, I'll I'll come over and help. It it kinda feels like Ray Romano's mom.

It's like it's like your underwear was folded wrong. That's yes.

So I'm sorry, honey.

I'll I'll do it for you. Yeah. And so Oh. Yeah. Husbands grow up.

Mother-in-law flex. This whole

thing makes me feel uncomfortable. They I never feel uncomfortable. This 1 does.

This is like it's got it's got a little stalker esque. It does. Do you remember it? She's got a key and she sneaks in like Keebler's elves or something and cooks and they just do laundry.

No. Because this is kind of mother-in-law that leaves a note that says, hey. I noticed things were messy so I cleaned up and I vacuumed. You'll have a great night. And it's just like a little

I mean, a total flex.

But if you say anything, it's like, oh, 0, I was just trying to help. I'm so sorry. I I won't help anymore.

Yeah. Right? You'll murder out. Yeah. She'll definitely murder out.

The old oh, 0, okay. There's some there's some old Dairy Queen napkins in the glove box. I'll just eat those. Y'all just go eat wherever you want to. I'll just eat the old kleenexes, and I'll just sit in the car and be cold.

And when y'all get done, y'all just come out. It's that. Hey.

I did run into a guy the other day. Just opening a new food truck called wherever you wanna go.

That's the

cheese. Everybody asks where they wanna eat, wherever you wanna go. If you wanna go. Okay. We're heading.

We'll go. Right there. There used to be a great

great little honky tonk in Lubbock, Texas called the library.

We'd be like, where are

you going? Going to library.

Alright. Good. The honky tonk. I love it. Alright, boys and girls.

Boundaries are necessary, and I will admit, that the hardest stage of parenting for me has been, parenting children who are no longer in my control. It is the hardest stage to stay out of other people's business that are grown ups even if they are from my flesh and blood. And, so that does not matter. And I I I don't have any major issues. It's not like any of them are doing anything extremely stupid or something, but still, just not telling grown up people what they have to do with your dad voice, it it requires a little bit of discipline.

Yeah.

Even today, my son is studying for his 1st round of high school finals. He's a freshman. And I I know the science of studying. I know the pedagogy of studying. I have been a high school and a college teacher for my whole career.

And he's got to go through this 1st round of finals. Studying the way his he rolls his eyes to stud. I know. Okay. And right and it's hard because I wanna go in there and say, this is what he's gotta learn this time.

And then next time, we'll be able to speak from a place of

alright. Alright. I need some help. Yeah. That's right.

And it's hard. It's hard when you're, when the, the, your precious little Johnny's underwear isn't folded. Right. Mother-in-law, it's Abigail's husband. Now,

Abigail

back up, back up. Be cool. Be cool, man.

She has to stick her nose into everything.

It's the move stuff while we weren't home.

That one's weird. Yeah. The came back. The furniture is rearranged. It's kinda like misery.

Yeah. That's what I was like. It's got

a stalker esque thing to it. The penguin always faces Nora.

This is the Ramsey Show.

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Plus, our 50 days of Christmas deals is on right now. Get up to 30% off best sellers and life changing gifts that won't break the holiday budget.ramsysolutions.com /store. Doctor John Deloney, Ramsey Personality is my cohost today. Allison is in Mesa, Arizona. Hi, Allison.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Merry Christmas.

Okay. Thank you very much. How are you?

Better than I deserve. How can we help?

Hi. Well, so I have a question about long term health care insurance or possibly buying an annuity to take care of those issues later in life. And I know you're the person to, help me out with that.

Okay. Long term care and annuity for later in life. Help help me. Give me give me a little I don't understand why we're why we're worried about this.

Alright. So here's why. So I'm 57. My husband is 55. He was just diagnosed with a very aggressive stage 4 cancer, but otherwise has always been very healthy.

Oh, man. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. It's thank you. It's been quite quite a deal. He was diagnosed about 4 months ago. Fortunately, we own our home.

We

have 950,000 in retirement. But I just keep wondering what am I supposed to do about purchasing a policy, for later in life when when we're old and need to maybe be in a long term care facility or a nursing home. And, you know, I I've read some and it's just it's all a little confusing to me.

K. Well, let's just talk nursing home insurance for a minute. Okay? Or long term care or long term care insurance. The industry has changed dramatically since that category began 20 Yeah.

25 years ago. Today, about all you can buy is 3 years of coverage.

Okay.

You can buy 3 years of nursing home care coverage. It'll cost you about $1,000 a month, give or take, if you're in your sixties and you have reasonable health. Okay? I'm just talking about in general terms here. Alright?

And in general terms, the average nursing home stay in America is 2.8 years.

Right.

Because generally, when someone goes to a nursing home, you know, they they they're not alive for very long after that. That's just a general statistical thing. It's not a doesn't mean nursing homes kill people. That's not what I'm saying. But, but I mean, you know, we're sick.

We're in the light later stages. It's not hospice, but it is also ill the elderly. It's a lot of different things. Okay. So 2.8 years.

Mhmm.

So your exposure, if you said $100,000 a year for 3 years is $300 on average. On average.

And

you have 900 today.

Yeah.

Okay. And so let's, fast forward to 71 years old. Your husband, recovers from stage 4, and you guys are are now looking at some 1 of us might need care.

Yeah.

And then we would obviously would have been talking about long term care insurance. I generally don't recommend it until you're 60 years old. He's not insurable right now, so it doesn't matter.

Yeah.

He's he's gonna have

to get trying to get that.

Yeah. He's gonna have to get the other side of the cancer diagnosis

for a

while healed before he's gonna be insurable. But having said that, I think you're probably self insured. And here's why here's why. Not because you can't get it, but let's say let's say he's the other side of a cancer diagnosis far enough that you could actually get it. And let's pretend that, are are you working outside the home

right now? We both are.

Okay. You he's not he's not for long. He's gonna be in treatment. Right?

No. He's no. He, we're both, university faculty, and, he is working from home.

Okay. He's able to do that with his chemo treatment or whatever he's doing. Okay.

He is.

Okay. Good.

Yeah. Okay.

And then And what what do you what do you mean? For.

My base salary is 63. His is

Can you all live on that? Your salary?

Yeah. The oh, can we or do we?

Can you?

I need to figure that out.

Okay. If you did if you did, here's what we've got. You said you've got almost $1,000,000 in your 401 k. Right?

Correct.

Yeah. If it's invested in good mutual funds and if it averages 10% or more without adding to it, it will double every 7 years.

Okay.

Okay? And so you're 57. He's 55. At 64 for you, you'd have 2,000,000. At 71 for you, you would have 4,000,000.

So you'll have between $24,000,000 before you need to pay for a nursing home, and you can afford to write a check for the 300 without having bought any insurance. That's why I'm thinking you're self insured.

So it sounds like what you're saying is I don't need well, you're saying I don't need to worry about it right now, which is a relief.

You can't. Worrying.

You can't worry about it right now because he can't buy it right now. You could buy it, but you don't need to worry about it.

Yeah. I don't need it right now. Yeah. Yeah.

You see

how it

got there?

Kind of. I'm just really nervous listening to you talk because I listen to you almost every day, and now I'm actually talking to you. My brain is just

That's okay.

I've learned a lot about shark heads in the attic.

There you go. So, Allison, I'm so sorry.

Allison, let me ask you this. How much of this spinning out this? Okay. What about this? I got a plan for this.

I got a plan for this It's just the utter loss of control you feel when somebody says the word cancer with somebody you love.

Well, I'm sure that's part of it. Because

here's what it sounds like to me. Dave and I take calls all the time.

Mhmm.

You guys for being in your mid to back half of your fifties

Are really in good shape.

You're in amazing shape.

Financially. And

my mom is still a professor in her seventies. You can do your job for ages. AI may take it. Right? But, like, let's just pretend you can you keep doing that.

Yeah. Yeah. You're an amazing position.

Okay. So I don't okay.

The challenge for you is to exhale and be present with your husband, which is gonna be hard and scary.

Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. It is.

Y'all are good, man. You're good.

Whew. Well, I just wanted to be thinking, like, 5 years in advance Yeah. For him. What do I need to be Let's

do day by day with

5 5 years from let's go 7 years from today. You have $2,000,000

and a

pay and a paid for house. You may not wanna buy long term care insurance. You may wanna just say, I'll pay for it if I need to.

See, that's just that's where I get confused. Like, how would I even access that? Because it's, like, all in

Well, you'll just you'll call your your invest you'll call your investment, adviser and say, I need I need a $100,000 a year for home for, nursing home for my husband, and they'll pull it out of the investments. And instead of 2,000,000, you'll have 1,007 left if he stays in a nursing home an average period of time.

Allison, have they put him on a clock?

You know, that's an interesting question. So it's a, just to protect his privacy. I'm not gonna say what kind of cancer it is, but the, I I mean, he's been incredibly healthy. And so this, again, just came out of nowhere. But in terms of a clock, the 5 year survival rate up until, last year was 8%.

Mhmm. A clinical he's he's now doing what the clinical trial, you know, has has now been accepted or approved by the FDA. So there is no 5 year.

Okay.

There there's at this point, there isn't. But what we do know is that with the treatments that they're doing for him, we're looking at maybe a 20% chance of eradication

k.

Of the cancer. And and we're doing everything that we can to get him in there. I mean, he's never smoked. He's never drank.

He's been For sure.

You know, he's he's always been active. And so but it's the getting there that's really hard.

That is. Yeah. But so let's let's let's stay as optimistic as possible, and let's stay in deeply in prayer. And let's let's try these, these clinical trials. Amazing.

And yeah, let's remember that every second is golden when it comes to how precious it is. Yeah. And let's let tomorrow's you guys are in such great shape. Let's let tomorrow's worries be tomorrow's. Right now, we're gonna just celebrate and be in enjoy with every precious second.

If you don't tear into your nest egg, you're gonna be self insured for long term care needs when you're in your mid sixties. That's the answer to your question. You're fine. Well done. This is The Ramsey Show.

Hey, guys. It's Rachel Cruze. And guess what? It's my favorite time of year. The lights, the music, the decorations, I mean, I love it all.

And as a natural spender like myself, it's really easy to overspend. And I wanna do all the things and give my family the kinda holidays they'll always remember. And at the same time, I don't wanna look back at my bank account in January and think, oh, what did I do? So that's why I use the Every Dollar budgeting app. It helps me plan for all of my spending, and that's what a budget is.

Then once I have my plan in place, I don't have to worry about overspending. I am free to spend, guilt free, and have fun doing it. Plus, with Every Dollar, you can customize your budget however you want. So whether it's buying gifts, hosting dinners, or even turning your living room into a winter wonderland, Every Dollar helps you plan for it all. So you guys go out and create some great holiday memories with your family without the stress of overspending.

Download the Every Dollar app for free today. Go download it today.

Doctor John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my cohost. He's also, my compadre on this money and relationships tour we're doing in the spring. We are doing something we've never done. I've done live events for 30 years, where I come out on stage and yack at you and tell you what to do with your money, and that kind of stuff. And we're gonna do that, but we're gonna do it in a different way.

We're gonna let you select the topics you want John and I to talk about while you're sitting in the audience before we come out. We're gonna send them out there to your phone, and then we're gonna design the show that night custom for each 1 of the cities. I think this is gonna be cool, John.

Every city is gonna be different. And I tell you what, I tell people all the time. I don't I don't get nervous anymore. I get excited. I don't get nervous anymore.

I'm pretty nervous about this 1. This one's gonna be fun.

It'll be like sitting here answering questions. We don't know what questions are coming in here. So Yeah. Yeah. It's like There's a different energy.

Make it up as we go, dude.

Several thousand people in a fancy theater. It's gonna be fun.

Yeah. There's several million listening here. But, yeah, there's that. Yeah. Hey, guys.

You gotta love it. It's gonna be fun. The money and relationships tour. The first one's April 21st in Louisville. It's John and me.

So be sure you join us. Durham is, in April 23rd. Atlanta, April 25. Phoenix, May 5. Fort Worth, May 7.

And Kansas City, May 9. These are all about 50% or so sold out, so you can probably still get your tickets without any trouble. But they will probably after the 1st of the year is how these things usually work in our world. They usually take off, and it'll probably blow out, like, sometime in January, and you won't be able to get a ticket. So jump in there, and the tick the seats are all signed seats, so you get to select where you're going to sit with Ticketmaster and all that junk, which isn't something we've never done before either.

So this is kinda fun. So you if you wanted the good seat before they get down to the last few, you know, you go ahead and get it now. Right?

That's right. It's not gonna be a general admission. Just walk in wherever. It's it's like a it's going to a theater.

Yep. Yeah. We actually have assigned, you know, just like these days, if you go to a movie theater, that's what you do. Right? So ramsey solutions.com/tour.

Or you can go if you're on YouTube or podcast, you can click the link in the show notes. Andrew is in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Andrew. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi. How are you guys doing?

Better than I deserve. What's up?

So my wife and I have about $100,000 in debt, not including our mortgage. We make about $80,000 a year. So we we I say we have made bad decisions, but it's really I put it on me, but we've got ourselves in some pretty bad debt. So I'm just trying to figure out the best way to get out of it with the money we make. It seems like in my head, we we don't make enough.

What's the debt?

Credit cards, personal loan, and student student loans.

How much car debt?

No no car debt. We own our cars outright, but we have a personal loan for 35,000 that I used to reconsolidate. And then I sold the vehicle that I had to purchase that, basically.

Okay. So what is your car worth?

The car so I have a Ford Expedition that's probably worth 11,000 at the moment, and then we just have a smaller vehicle that's not really worth anything. It's got 200 +1000 miles on it.

And that's your 2 cars. You don't have any other cars? No. Okay. And your household income again is what?

80,000.

Okay.

How long y'all been married?

It's been 3 years now. We've been together for probably, I think, like, 7.

Okay. So if you cut up the credit cards and take extra jobs and don't go out to eat and don't go on vacation and live on a scorched earth budget, no life. How fast do you think you can pay this off? Making 80, you need to pay off a 100.

So I work on the weekends doing side jobs. It's not fully consistent, but it's probably at least twice a month. That ranges anywhere from 500 to a1000, and I, you know, I try

to use that. We we

I just started listening to you guys, like, the past 2 weeks,

because,

really, we've been arguing a lot about money

Mhmm.

Trying to be

on the same page, you know, and just finally, I started listening to you guys, and I was like, hey. We're we're done with this, you know, debt stuff. We need to get our life together because we have 2 kids. And I just I don't want them to have a bad future. So I wanna get ourselves set so we can give them a good future, you know, and set them up.

Okay. Let's pretend that you make 80 and you lived on 50 and you put 30 on debt, you'd be done in 3 years.

Right.

Let's pretend you raise that to a 100 and you put 50 on debt, you'd be done in 2 years. But you're both working extra jobs and you have absolutely no life, and it's not an occasional thing. You work all the time for 2 years and you're done.

Okay.

That that's how this that's how the math shakes out.

24 months.

Yeah. Yeah. How have you

been unable to breathe, dude?

Probably been about a year now.

Okay. So go give me 2 and you're done. You're at 0. You're free. Forever.

Yeah.

You cut up your cards and you never borrow money again.

But that means you can't him haul around every couple of weeks. Like maybe I'll have some work this week. That means

all the time you're working.

I have a job at Costco and I go straight from there on Saturdays to throw boxes at Walmart until 11 o'clock at night. And then I get home and I get up at 6 AM on Sunday. I go to church. I go do it again. And then I do my regular job Monday through Friday.

And she and you are locked arms and you're couponing. The kids are wearing consignment. Yes. Experienced clothing. You don't have a life.

You don't get to do anything, but you get your life back 2 years from today forever. That that's living like no 1 else, so later you can live and give like no 1 else. You're gonna pay a price to get out of this. The deeper you cut into your life, the faster you get out. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. It does.

And you think she's gonna be on board with that?

Yeah. I I absolutely think she will be on board because we've we've talked about it now for the, you know, past couple months, and we're both just tired of being stressed and arguing all the time about it. It. Yeah. And we just we wanna make a change.

And it's I think it's just hard for us because it it's hard for us to see and picture it

Mhmm.

Because we're so far, like, behind. It seems like there's just it seems like we

can't figure out where to start. Take a 100 a 100,000 in debt. Right?

Yes.

Put 50 on it a year, and you're done in 2 years. Agreed?

Yes.

Okay. In order to do that, making 80, you need to raise your part time income by 20. That gets you to a 100 and you're then you're living on 50, and you're putting 50 on there. That's 4,000 plus dollars a month on the debt.

Okay.

And that the math says you're done in 2 years. That's not false hope. That's real. But what what but I am not saying this can be easy. I'm a say it's the hardest thing you've ever done in your life.

It will change your life. It will transform your marriage. It will change who you are as a man. 2 years from now, you will walk different.

Okay.

And

if y'all stay together This is boot camp. Your marriage will be so united because y'all know we can do anything together.

Right.

And few things light up, a wife like a husband with lasers in his eyes on behalf of the family.

Yeah.

You can do this. But you gotta come alive, brother.

I I think you've got the the language you're using and the way I'm hearing you speak after having done what I do for 30 years. You're giving me all the right signals that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. And when you get there, you're ready to change, you're ready to do something new. If you're ready to change and you're ready to do something new, I can show you how to get out faster than anybody else. But I am warning you ahead of time it's gonna be painful, and I'm also gonna warn you ahead of time it will work.

And I'm also gonna warn you ahead of time that it's worth it. You'll be free for the rest of your life. Okay?

Yeah. Yeah. We've been we've been making that and talking about that for, like I said, the past couple months.

Okay. It's no more. I just tonight, it starts. We're we're game on. I'm gonna send you Financial Peace University, and I'm gonna send you every dollar premium free as my gift to you because I've been where you are.

I've been scared, hopeless, didn't know what the crap was going on. I know exactly how it feels. It does not feel good. And then I reached the same point. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and it changed my life, man.

That's why I'm telling you it worked. So hang on. We'll send you that and get you guys going on this. And also throw in a, Total Money Makeover book for the heck of it. Let's just Merry Christmas.

Ho ho ho. Right? Let's just make sure you get the whole dose. And dunk yourself in this stuff, and listen, whatever your broke friends say, if they're making fun of you, that means you're on track. If your mother-in-law thinks you joined a cult, that means you're on track.

Get it. Get it, baby. Game on. Get it. You can do it.

This is the Ramsey Show.

What up? What up? It's doctor John DeLoney from the doctor John DeLoney show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90 day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.

Okay. Now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about, and don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey?

So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. Alright. So you ready to jump

in? I'm

ready to jump in.

So we're gonna check-in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.

I cannot even function because I am just crying. My mom left us when I was 4. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.

She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.

He triggered me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.

It just feels

like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.

It

is. Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.

How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.

1 of 2 people that's supposed to never leave took off.

How is this

how is this burden?

A new burden. That's right. To the 1 person who should carry it, all of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?

I don't know what to do.

Do you either have to choose to let this guy love you or you gotta choose to let this guy go?