Transcript of Brad Williams Joins Live From Dwarf Athletic Association Of America | Hour 2

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Giving some people some insight here into the teamwork, camaraderie, strategy, and production that go into making this program every day. Greg Cody just asked his son urgently, why is Brad Williams on? And his son left the room saying, "You'll find out." So Greg Cody will find out with us why Brad Williams is on. He hosts the Heightened Babble podcast with JB Ball, bradwilliamscomedy.com for tour dates. Brad, do you wanna explain to him why you're joining us from New Orleans and where you're joining us from?

That's right. First of all, thank you so much for having me. I am coming to you from the Dwarf National Association, LPA, national conference. This year right now is a lot of doldrums in sports. It's the baseball All-Star break, not a lot going on. But I am here to watch DAAA events, Dwarf Athletic Association of America, and man, it's been fun. I'm waiting here before I go see the badminton. A few days ago we saw the soccer where the US actually won. That's right, behind Ernie the Small Wall Jr.'s amazing goaltending. This has been a blast. We saw the basketball a few days ago. Thrilling, utterly thrilling. There's a lot of great sporting events, a lot of amazing athletes going on. Look at that crossover. Look at that crossover. Are you kidding me? There's some amazing—

Looks like he got hit by a bicycle.

Look at that.

Bern Troyer went flying 40 feet and then landed.

That's too soon, Dan. That's really messed up. That's really messed up.

That guy's nickname is Hot Sauce, the guy that was dribbling. He is fantastic. And people wonder, what are the events like? What are athletics like for little people? And I will tell you. Do you guys know, Dan, do you know what a leg is by little person?

Brad, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Just, they put on our screen here. I want you to see this crossover. I've never seen a crossover of somebody fall on their feet, on their face, 40 feet from where the dribbling is taking place.

His sneakers are facing the sky.

He looks like he was hit by the bison and was landing. His sneakers, his sneakers are very high in the air.

But I interrupted you. I'm sorry.

No, that's okay. He crossed them out of his size 3s, and I totally get it. It's a very funny video. But I mean, like, like I said, the events have been thrilling. Dan, do you, do you know what a crossover is called when a dwarf does it?

I do not.

It's just called a crossover. Jesus, what'd you think it was, you sizeist asshole? My God, it's just called a crossover. They're just like everybody else, Dan. I don't know what you're trying to do. And some people try to downplay the athletic ability of the athletes out here, but dwarves have been really successful athletes. Do you know that there is a little person who won 3 gold medals? And not the Paralympic Games, but but the Olympic Games. Did you know that, Dan?

I did not know that.

Seriously?

Yeah, woke-atar, you wanna be the voice of the minority, but you don't know that Scaramanoglu from the great country of Türkiye won gold medals in Olympic powerlifting in 1988, '92, and '96, setting a world record for the clean and jerk. Did you know that, Dan?

You know about that clean and jerk?

I put the jerk in clean and jerk according to Brad Williams, who's just insulted me. I'm sorry, I did not know that. Did anyone else know that? Did you guys know that there was an Olympic powerlifter who was a little person?

Pocket Hercules?

Yeah, everybody knows.

Of course, I'm not an asshole.

Yeah, I know Pocket Hercules. I just didn't know, is he technically— he classifies as a little person, or is he just little?

No, he is a little person. He has dwarfism. He has something called uh, hypochondriplasia, which is just like my version but let's just say elongated a little bit. And his record in the clean and jerk was over £400, at the time a world record. That's right, someone lifted 3 times their own body weight. And I don't know anyone that can do that other than Valerie. What are the You all right there, Dan? You okay?

What are the funniest of the little person, uh, sporting events that you are watching there? Yes, the funniest.

The funniest, Dan? What do you mean the funniest? These are These are people that all year have to go against average-sized competition and now are going against fellow little people, just winning in all regards. It's really inspiring. I don't know what you want to talk about in terms of the funniest events. All I know is there's 2,000 little people here at one hotel, and according to Amin El Hassan, that is a dream come true.

Uh, basketball I would think is funniest, and I would think track would finish in second place.

Well, basketball is pretty darn funny just because nobody knows how to rebound. Like, we're not exactly skying up to get the rebound, so we all just kind of wait until it comes down. So we just kind of like, all right, it's coming to me. Uh, and then track, yeah, we're, we're, we're, we're not exactly Speedy Gonzales down here, but, uh, it, it is fun to watch dwarves run because our legs can't go in front, they kind of go off to the side, so it looks like we're kind of casting a spell as we run. But for the most part, uh, the, the athletic events here have been absolutely, absolutely wonderful, very inspiring. And I'm still learning. I've been coming to these conventions for over 35 years. I'm still learning. And, uh, did you know, did you know that dwarves cannot get type 2 diabetes? Did you know that, Dan?

Congrats. I did not.

Of course you didn't know that.

Good.

Yeah, look at that.

Yes, people say, people say, what are the advantages to being a little person? I'll tell you what the advantages are. I'm keeping my feet. That's what the advantages are. All right, we're having a great time at the convention. Every night is a party. There are, uh, dances and, uh, bar crawls, and, uh, we're going around in New Orleans. So right now we're walking down Bourbon Street, 100 little people. Some people just think that a bunch of voodoo dolls came to life, but it is absolutely Absolutely fantastic here. We're having a blast.

He hosts the Heightened Babble podcast with JB Ball, and bradwilliamscomedy.com is where you go for tour dates. I appreciate the correspondence. Thank you for the friendship, sir. Could have done without the Valerie joke, but thank you for being on with us. I appreciate it.

I think it's a compliment to her.

Pretty good.

Yeah, that's what I think too. See you later, Brad. Nice seeing you. Always good seeing you. Usually. I want to get to Greg Cody's catchphrase update, and I also want to get to Greg Cody's Yaz fan account because he's got multiple fan accounts and I want to talk to him about these fan accounts that he is running. But before I do that, do we have any sort of update on whether I owe $50 because Tom Powers is not dead and I killed him? It's been 2 weeks, we've been trying to find this out whether Minneapolis Star Tribune columnist Tom Powers is still with us. I said he's no longer with us. The For those of you who do not know the story, Greg Cody has been talking for years about writing a book called 1440, his childhood address, a history of the American home. And he was telling Tom Powers one time about this idea at the dinner table, personally, emotionally, and Tom Powers looked up from his bacon and said, that sounds duller than dog shit. I then killed Tom Powers, whether he's dead or not I still don't know. So what is the answer to my question?

Do we have an answer? We've got a lot of journalists— we are a Pulitzer Prize-winning media company. We've got a lot of people on staff being paid to do things— research, information, facts. It's a time of disinformation. How does it take us weeks to find out whether Tom Powers is dead or alive?

Well, it didn't take the Greg Cody Show and Chief Investigator Yeti Blanc weeks. It took him, uh, probably an hour.

Say hours.

And, um, and we can now reveal that Tom Powers is alive. I almost said alive and well. I don't want to overstate it. Tom Powers is alive. He is living in an undisclosed location. He was invited to call into the show today to explain whether or not he still thinks my great book idea is duller than dog shit, but he politely declined and said in a text, tell Dan hello.

Yes.

Oh, nice.

I owe the greatest of the finds $50. Good work by Yeti Blanc. Yeti finds out, the Greg Cody Show finds out. The Greg Cody Show podcast featuring Greg Cody with is available to you weekly, and it's got its newest catchphrases. Are you guys excited to hear the newest of the catchphrases? Because what number are we on now? What are we revealing today for the first time here? Not the first time on your podcast. You always break this news a couple of days early on your podcast, right?

We are revealing numbers 18 and 17.

Okay, are you guys ready? Because this is very exciting. This would have been the top 10 if he respected anything.

Is this our third time doing 18 and 17?

Yes, yes, yes, we've done it a number of different times.

This The real one.

These used to be in the top 10 and now everything's moved back and it might still not be 18. This might— keep in mind, this might be in the 30s by the time that we're done because he keeps—

70 is absolutely the ceiling unless it goes to 75. That would be the absolute ceiling. But right now it's a top 70 catchphrase countdown.

What are you shaking your head about, Taz?

I just— I feel like we've been inside the top 20 for months.

That's the beauty of this.

I thought we were going to be into the top 10 by now. I think we're further back than we were. Like, we— I thought we were closer than 18 and 17 a while back. I thought we've already done 18 and 17 a couple of different times.

Yeah, once, one previous time.

Anyway, these are the top 70 catchphrases Greg Cody has invented in his lifetime.

Number 70.

Number 70: I'm fuller than Vern Fuller. 69: Where's my click click? 68: Hey, butterfinger. 67: Punt. 66: Scranton. 65, I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger. 64, Georgia, Georgia. 63, I'm the kind of guy that— 62, ball on the jack. 61, hey hey with the Monkees, baby. 60, thank you, Billy. 59, I love them like a pet. 58, who made it a salad? 57, we're rolling now, huh? 56, your brain beating me. 55, let's go States. 54, driver comfort is paramount. 53, dummy up, say bop. 52, catch as catch can. 51, doesn't make it right. 50, so on and so forth. 49, very good. 48, the Little League theory. 47, nice hat, asshole. 46, the others, they all learned from me. 45, don't go showering to try to please me. 44, look at that jerk. 43, it's like a packing house in here. 42, would you learn. 41, hee haw. 3, Bday up? 40. I'm not gonna take a quiz. 39. Sassafras. 38. What we break a window? 37. Hello. 36. Who won? 35. Trailers for sale or rent. 34. You gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die. 33. 3 words. We are the Lobos.

32. You're gonna go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmley. 31. Rappycack. 30. Another crisis solved. 29. Nice chatting with ya. 28. He ain't heavy, he's my blank. 27, hey, that's what I'm talking about. 26, who let a pet? 25, good on ya. 24, dancing swords. 23, QK, AKA quick crap. 22, bae. 21, blankin' it. 20, that's a fact, Jack. 19, gotta wanna learn, gotta wanna earn. And now, number 18, put a Lobos mint under your pillow and dream big.

Wow, a classic.

He's winded. He's amazing. He does these very well. You will hear nothing in the way of criticism from me on how well you do these.

Thank you.

This list is extraordinary when number 58 is "Who Maketh the Sound." Yeah, "Who made-a the sound," past tense.

Number 17. What'd he say?

Thank you.

Wait a minute, that's Zazz's.

I know. What'd he say?

That belongs to Zazz.

No, Greg's right.

I know, that's—

I've been saying that for years. What'd he say? But you got to say it like that.

But that's how Zazz says it.

Yo, wait a minute, say it.

Oh, Zazz doesn't say it that way.

That is how Zazz says it.

I've never heard him say that.

Say it.

No, I'm not your monkey.

Oh, everybody just— everybody knows the phrase.

No, I'll say what I want to say it. Hey, hey, everybody knows. Everyone, everyone That's what I say.

Say it then.

That is such bullshit.

Do you guys hear what Pat Riley said?

What'd he say? That's my phrase.

Hey, hey, stop stealing Greg's catchphrase.

No, that was entirely different.

You're effing with me now, right? You're effing with me.

I've heard Greg say that countless times.

Because I'm gonna be honest with you, the other one that you stole of mine, which was what? That was—

Hey, hey, that's what I'm talking about!

He didn't steal that from me. Like, that's bullshit enough. All right. But I honestly, like, I don't believe that you actually knew that I said that, even though everyone knows. That's what I'm talking about. That's one of my go-to phrases.

Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

Fine. You, you complete ignorance on that. Whatever. Okay. It's so stupid. But this time there's no way.

What do you say?

There's—

stop saying that. There's no way that you don't know that that is mine. You're effing with me.

I've never heard you say it. I'm asking you to say it right now. You refuse to.

I just said it.

Say it again.

What'd he say?

Similar to mine.

You're right. The similarity is it's my phrase and you've stolen it.

Okay.

That's the similarity.

Christopher will tell you how many years I've been saying that.

Yeah, it must be a coincidence.

Brings me back to my childhood hearing him say that.

What'd he say?

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Down, Lebatar!

Is there Back in My Day?

There is, actually.

What?

Were you not gonna tell anyone?

It's Tuesday! Wait a minute, you guys, guys, it's a Tuesday.

Greg Cody, here's your guy, Greg Cody with Back in My Day.

Okay, here it is. Sorry. Adultery.

Yeah, we're waiting for this one.

This is the Dan Levatar Show.

You see what's happened here? You had your list which originally started at 50, and then you've been able to add to it because you're stealing other people's phrases. You're like, you're, you're like Carlos Mancilla.

Oh my God.

That's what, that's what just happened. You're like a comedian who is stealing other people's stuff.

Really?

Yeah. Yes.

Yes. That's my bit.

So you claim—

That's my gimmick.

What, that one?

Well, 2 so far. I can't wait to hear the other 17.

What else do you say?

Well, I'm sure—

What else do you know?

You show everybody your list. I'm sure you're going to find out a few more.

Okay, I didn't— I didn't know you were associated with what he said.

This is— this is shocking. Everything that's happening here is shocking. It seems like Chris Cody is secretly enjoying this. He's laughing, uh, he doesn't laugh this way.

I'm sure you're involved somehow too, by the way. You're not an innocent bystander.

Pretty heavy line. Yeah, from Zazz.

From me?

Yeah, you're jealous. It's his catchphrase.

Countdown.

You're right, I am jealous. I'm jealous that my phrase is being stolen by someone.

It's not yours.

And using it on their podcast, which we know that has become a thing on his podcast for people to listen to, to get more viewers, to get more listeners. Yes, I am jealous that my stuff is being taken and is essentially— you're reaping financial rewards.

You basically feel the way musicians feel about Spotify.

Yeah, I—

you know, you're Napster.

Napster!

That's an old phrase. Hey, that's what I'm talking about.

You're Napster.

Right in your face.

Right in your face.

What'd he say?

Singing— oh my God.

They're not even similar the way I say it and the way he's—

You're Napster. I'm Metallica. We're gonna see how this ends.

Okay.

You might go to prison.

Okay. What'd he say?

Okay.

I have some breaking news. I have some breaking news. Aaron Donald has been spotted at the Rams facility.

Of course.

Oh, shit.

Of course he has.

Me and Mike were watching. It was on the top left there. Binocular view from whoever took that video. It was very far away from the other side of the Rams facility.

It makes sense.

I mean, it makes sense. Make— you know Sean McVay is going to let him play how he wants, when he wants. It's not going to be some sort of terribly grueling thing. And why would you not want that at the center of your defense if he wants to come back?

Mark Schlereth actually said yesterday at the done deal.

I mean, it, it just makes all the sense in the world. Once you get Miles Garrett, I mean, how easy are you making the job of those people? Like, I— when I told you guys the other day, uh, that ESPN did the rankings of the top 10 edge rushers, they do, uh, current rank, previous rank, and worst rank, and all of them for Miles Garrett were number 1. Just all number 1, number 1, number 1. Previous rank, current ranking, worst ranking, number 1. If I get you Miles Garrett, how much easier— Aaron Donald always had to make the game How much easier do I make the game for you if I put Miles Garrett as your edge rusher?

Is that a decent addition to your defensive line in offseason? Miles Garrett and Aaron Donald?

Yes, hi. Crazy. That'll change the Super Bowl odds. And I don't say that about many defensive linemen.

They were already favored.

I know. And now they'll be favored by, you know, 0.5 more or something.

And when I say it, it surprises none of you, correct? Like, this makes perfect sense. He has not played in a couple of years and I don't know what to expect from him, but I am certain if I put him in there, I put it at the center of my defense, that it is something that is going to make the center of my defense better.

Mm-hmm.

Strength-wise, he was benching like 120-pound dumbbells like 2 months ago when we saw him on SportsCenter. It's like, oh wow, okay, he's still really in shape.

Poor Carson Beck.

Uh, the Rams are really doing something that is aggressively all in, even by whatever your previous standards were for aggressively all in.

They were the ones that said it. Yeah, they're constantly aggressively all in. I don't know how they, how they have room for any of this.

The way that they do business, putting coaches in place who are minorities and then gaming the system to get draft picks so that they can afford things that other people can't afford. You do understand that before Miles Garrett and Aaron Donald like this, This team was a bounce away, like a punt return, a weird bounce in a Seattle game, from being what the Seahawks were last year. And since then, when they were a bounce away, what was weak about them in the playoffs is their cornerback play and their pass rush that wasn't protecting their quarterback— cornerbacks, because Verce wasn't quite as good late in the season as he was before that. And now you're talking about They've shored up their cornerback play in a way that was super aggressive with the trading of draft picks. And now Aaron Donald and Miles Garrett— like, it makes sense that if you would have Matthew Stafford as the MVP of the league and you are the coach of that team or the architects of that team, that you would do everything in your power to win this year. And it does not matter what happens any year after this.

You trade and work everything you can, finances and draft picks, because you do not know how good you're going to be after Matthew Stafford. And all of this gets derailed if Matthew Stafford gets hurt.

All of it.

You're still pretty good, but it gets derailed. You're not staying in this conversation where you're best in the league, obvious favorite. If, if your MVP gets hurt—

when is he not hurt? He was going to retire last year. He's one of the toughest dudes to ever play the position. He's always battling through those injuries. But if he gets hurt, they did just spend a first-round draft pick on Ty Simpson.

Greg Cody, the thing that I wanted to get back to before is what happened with you and the internet and X and Jeremy Tashay being wildly confused by everything that was happening yesterday with your tweeting to Carl Yastremski and as the Carl Yastremski fan account.

That was a mistake by me. I never meant to tweet that on the Greg Cody account. I meant to tweet it in the reactivated Carl Yastremski account, but I messed up and I immediately deleted it. So if you look at my Twitter, I always say Twitter, but I haven't. If you look at my Twitter right now, you no longer see that Karli Ostremski tweet. You no longer see that. That's been erased. That's now a collector's item. But the Karli Ostremski account is now reactivated. I've put one thing on it since, and it's a photo of Yaz showing his All-Star MVP from 1970 to Richard Nixon in the Oval Office. And so that's the kind of content you get. From my Karl Jastrzemski fan account. And so that's activated. I've been unable to activate one other that I wanted to activate, but right now I've got my account, Greg Cody, and Karl Jastrzemski. So jazz fans from 60, 70 years ago, follow my account @karlyastremski. We all know how to spell Jastrzemski, and if you don't, learn how. The others, they all learn from me.

How'd you get that handle? @karlyastremski?

It's amazing because jazz who's very old. He's in his mid-80s now, I believe, 87 even.

Ironically enough, no one ever cared to create one.

Right, exactly. I got his name. If, if Yaz decides to start his own Twitter account right now, he's gonna do the underscore, Karl_Justremski or something, because I got Karl Justremski.

Here was my confusion, because if you look at the tweet, he's tweeting at Karl Justremski, which of course I'm assuming is Karl Justremski. Not a fan account that Greg runs, then saying, hi all, I'm back, been a minute as the kids say. Here's our boy Yaz showing his 1970 MLB All-Star Game MVP trophy to Richard Nixon just because. And of course there is no photo of Yaz showing the 1970 MLB All-Star Game MVP trophy to Richard Nixon. So I wondered, how many beers did Greg have, or did he have a stroke? I was concerned about you. I was wondering what was going on. And I was, I believe, the first person to see this tweet, because it had been up for about 45 seconds when I saw it, and I was worried about what was going on with you, obviously not knowing that you were someone who ran a fan account for Carl Yastremski.

Eddie and I thought he got hacked. We were texting in our group chat.

I know you did, yeah. And if you go to Twitter, @CarlYastremski, it plainly says I'm who I am, This is a fan account. I've been a big fan of Yaz since 1967. And, um, and, and then it gives the credo of the account, which is All You Can 8.

Yeah, I saw that.

I wanted to ask, what does that mean?

Well, Yaz was number 4, number 8.

It's a great name.

I was literally about to ask him, show podcast credo, it's All You Can 8.

I was like, what is that?

Great stuff.

Thank you.

Great writing.

Thank you.

Oh, you can eat. What does that mean? Well, he was number 8, right?

Arguably the best number 8 in Major League history, other than maybe Yogi Berra.

Do me the favor of please reminding me to ask and Cal Ripken, Tim Kerkshun, when we get him on either today or tomorrow, whether or not Manny Ramirez was better as a left fielder than Carl Yastremski. And I think Jim Rice was also better, but he's maintaining that he is not. Can you just look up some numbers for me, Jeremy, before we ask Tim Kirkshin his opinion? Just look up for me Manny Ramirez, Carl Yastremski, and also Jim Rice and Carl Yastremski.

Down Levitar!

I'm not going to apologize.

I wouldn't expect you to apologize. Then you're a giant infant.

Okay.

You have no control over your emotions. You have no control over your emotions when you're calling someone you know an idiot. I don't deserve it. Okay, I don't deserve it. All right, and you're a fool for saying it.

Okay, great, Cody, you're a fool.

Yeah, I was kind of following.

Oh, you're locking in right now?

You're locking in on us?

Yeah, all right, let's drop the gloves, pal.

Let's rock.

You should be thanking me.

For what?

Every day.

For what?

For what I've done around this character. And the second shit gets real for you, you want to come at me and call me a fool? No, no, no, no, seriously.

Jeremy, seriously, pal.

I've added 10 years to your career.

This is the Dan Levitan Show.

I've learned as well, though, that you run several other fan accounts, and, uh, have you done anything with the Mavis Staples fan account?

I've been trying, but, um, I have been unable to activate my account. Now, Mavis Staples, another one of my heroes. I've been a fan of hers since the early '70s days of the Staple Singers, um, and, and I'm, I'm a huge fan of hers for reasons beyond music. Uh, she has her account @MavisStaples. My account was @Mavis_Staples.

You got the underscore this time, right?

But unlike the Carly Stremski account, which I was able to reactivate for some reason that's beyond my my IT expertise, I'm unable to reactivate my Mavis Staples account.

So that's dead?

That's no longer being run by you? You can no longer be the head of that fan account?

All you need is the email that is associated with it, and then you can reset the password.

Oh, well, you know what, thank you for that info.

Beyond his IT capabilities.

Right, I will try to do that.

Uh, he will fail.

Be on the lookout for the reactivation of my Mavis Staples account.

What other fan accounts do you have?

I had a fan account for Brendan Benson, the former Guitarist from the Raconteurs. Jack White's former friend.

Friend.

Current friend. Former bandmate, current friend.

Thank you. You're breaking news here. Former guitarist of the Raconteurs. The wide perception is they're just on hiatus.

Well, that's— they're not active.

It's a long hiatus. Yeah, that's for sure.

Well, maybe break the news on the newly reformed fan page.

We don't think that the Raconteurs will get back together. But that account was disbanded by mutual opinion when his— Brendan's overly aggressive PR lady told me that he— What'd she say? Brendan wants his own account and blah, blah, blah. Long story short, I had a lot of followers for him. I had like 6,000, 7,000 followers, and all these years later Brendan, God bless him, does not actively— What did he say? Does not actively contribute to his own social media, so I was the guy doing that and they told me not to, so I haven't. So right now it's just my account and @CarlJastrzebski.

I'm glad they know that they can trust you despite you totally betraying that trust and breaking the news that they're on, you know, they've broken up.

I didn't say they've broken up, I'm just saying—

You said former guitarists.

You said long hiatus, former friends.

Here's the thing, as you recall, They had two very well-received albums, The Raconteurs, and I think it was like, what was it, '04 and '06, something like that. And then they went like 9 years without putting out a third, which was their last LP, and they haven't put out one since. So they could come back. I just saw some lists where they listed the top 20 supergroups of all time, and The Raconteurs actually made the list at number 15, primarily because of Jack White and Brendan. Uh, not to diminish the other two guys.

Little Jack?

No. Anyway, that's, you know, but I, I enjoyed doing that because I gave a behind-the-scenes privy to my friendship with him. I gave a behind-the-scenes look at what Brendan Benson's life is like.

And to the Stone Age.

And they didn't want me to.

Greg, it's come to my attention as they put up the Carl Ustromsky thing that you joined this account in 2009.

Yeah.

Huh?

Why?

How? Because, Tony, I can't—

17 years ago, before the creation of Bitcoin.

It's like the start of Twitter, 2009.

Yeah, it was the early days. I can't overemphasize what a hero of mine Karl Strzemski was growing up.

You had a dog named Yaz, correct?

I had a cat named Yaz. And you're right, good recall by you.

Twitter just started and you're like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make a fan account of Karl Strzemski.

Yeah. The first thing I did was I looked him up to follow him on Twitter, and I found out he didn't have a fan account. And even back then, he was known as very reclusive, was not on social media at all. And so I decided to start a fan account plainly labeled as a fan account. And, you know, Carly Strimsky and Willie Mays were my first two heroes in sports, and, and I really began to follow sports, and, and it led to my writing career and everything, all because of my 1967 was my magic season with Yaz and, uh, uh, Triple Crown season. And so, you know, I, I have a lot of admiration and appreciation for him. I thought I'd show it in a, in a fan account.

Look at that guy's face. What a sourpuss on that guy. He's just so bitter. What a player hater.

He really is.

Nice hat, asshole.

Zazz has been mad the entire time Cody has been talking. Can I get the Back in My Day music as I head to a place I did not think I would head today? Give me the comparison stats on Manny Ramirez, Yaz, and Jim Rice, please.

So, Dan, I think you're going to be upset because Jim Rice in every statistical category is trailing both Manny Ramirez and Carl Yastrzemski. So in the head-to-head between Manny and Yaz, Greg, how do you feel about the stat war wins over replacement.

You know, I don't love it. I think it's okay.

Okay. So it's the only stat that Carl Yastrzemski has that's better than Manny Ramirez.

War wins over replacement.

Okay.

And which of which of which of those two players is in the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown? I'm just curious.

I will say Jim Rice and Carl Yastrzemski are in Cooperstown thanks to the writer of Major League Baseball. Um, Manny has 2 championships, uh, he was a 12-time All-Star. Yaz, an 18-time All-Star. Yaz also won an MVP, Manny did not. But in comparisons on home runs, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and OPS, Manny Ramirez was the better hitter. Of course, you have Carl Yastrzemski, As a better defensive player, he had 7 Gold Gloves.

Yeah.

Manny had 9 Silver Sluggers. Yaz had zero.

Yeah.

And yet he isn't in the Hall of Fame, huh?

Just cleaning up. Yaz the cat buried in your backyard in a shoebox.

Yes.

Yes. I suspect both have disintegrated by now. The cat and the shoebox.

I would imagine the box is still there.

I loved Yaz.

Is that current home or 1440?

Current home.

Current home. Yeah, X marks the spot. No, uh, no animals are buried at 1440 because the Petrowskis next door had a cat or a dog named Lady. Lady was all but mine. I, I love the dog, I fed the dog, I watered the dog, but it was not officially my dog. So when Lady passed away, that was up to Bill Petrowski.

Why don't you just steal You're good at that.

I'm not a dog thief. What'd he say?

Put it on the poll at @LebatardShow. Do you water your dog?

You do what? Of course you water a dog.

You wash a dog. I feel like the way you've told us that you use a pool to shampoo your hair, you might think that the bathing of a dog is just watering him or her and not using any soap.

Well, a dog will die from thirst before he will die from hunger. Take that to the bank.

Won't we all?

I don't know.

So wait, were you saying water dog as in giving the dog water, not bathing the dog?

No, we had a bowl for Lady right out in front of our house at 1440 because we didn't entirely— Lady was one of those dogs that was not a house dog. Lady was always outside, a gray and white mutt.

Feral?

Not feral.

Wait, the way there are neighborhood cats, there used to be dogs?

Yeah, the leash law did not exist when I was a kid growing up. It didn't. You saw dogs running crazy. That's one of the things my dad got crazy about. My dad had to get a long-playing record that had him fall asleep and, and get calm against his anxiety because barking dogs would drive my poor dad crazy. And they were all over the neighborhood, dogs left, right, right in center. Look, dogs off leashes. It was common back in that day.

That is a great back in my day. Back in my day, there were no leashes. Back in my day, dogs ran like crazy all over the place, made my father insane.

Yes, Wild Bill Cody, right?

Back then you could smoke cigarettes on airplanes. The good old days. What'd he say?

The A-Rod mistake, uh, is a doozy to be sitting next to.

It is funny.

Jeter went on with Cowherd again and checked him right off the start. He said, last time I was on with you, you had me facing Nolan Ryan and you got your facts wrong. Let's tighten it up around here. And then A-Rod is, uh, A-Rod is on the telecast last night and he's palling around with Verlander. Did you get the secondhand embarrassment from that clip, Zazz? Of— you didn't? Because A-Rod got in there so quickly with, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, uh, that he did play it off pretty well. But why don't you have— let's play the clip here and see what Zazz is— why Zazz doesn't have secondhand embarrassment.

I also look at you as like— I look at Tom Brady, Jeter, you know, Poppy, Mariano, as guys that played into their 40s and doing it at a high level. But this is for the young ones that are out there watching. How do you explain —being a late draft pick, being designated for assignment a couple times with two different teams, right? Me?

Yeah, no, nothing wrong. You got the wrong nose.

I love the, hey, I was just kidding. Like, he—

maybe it's because A-Rod didn't leave any time to be embarrassed. Like, he was really quick. Now, I don't think he made it any better because it's so obvious that he did screw up, but he was so quick. I'm good, I'm good. That— I don't know, I didn't feel any kind of secondhand embarrassment. Look at the face on Poppy.

Poppy obviously feels some secondhand embarrassment. You can see— you would agree— looking off— you could agree that what is happening there is secondhand embarrassment, right? You would agree?

That's how it looks like he smelled a fart.

I felt a little bit bad for Verlander because, like, Verlander was confused, and then he's— Verlander's like thinking of himself, all right, he must be making a point and talking about somebody else, and then A-Rod's like, you know, how did that fit me?

You would agree that there has been very little in the way of criticism from anything last night, correct? The Home Run Derby annually had become something to pick at, just the Will Ferrell stuff, to mock and criticize. What happened with Will Ferrell?

I just, like I said, I had it on mute because I was watching my stories on, on the main TV.

What do you say? Well put.

But apparently Will Ferrell and Luke Wilson, in character with their new Netflix show, were like the panel to open the broadcast, and people apparently weren't digging It's just, I think Netflix, they got their shows.

It's like, I don't really get bothered by— that happens every— at Fox, when you're watching it on Fox, they're promoting their shows.

Well, Will Ferrell has a golf show that starts on Thursday. The reason the Home Run Derby is there is to promote things like that. Like, that's— they're, they're trying to be a network. It's the whole reason that they're doing what they're doing. They're trying to get baseball's eyes on other things.

And, and let's not be so sacrosanct about the holy Home Run Derby. It's a cartoony event. Pitchers are lobbing the ball, they're hitting it a long way. It's ridiculous.

They're hitting it a long way? No whimsy.

For such a whimsical man. I am a whimsical man. Such a lack of whimsy.

Anybody— they should throw it underhand.

You are a Home Run Derby wet blanket. Why did you open the bidding by saying you weren't? You are a wet blanket.

Anytime you say you aren't, you know you are. You're just trying to soften the blow. A thief.

But you haven't. You hated that thing last night.

I didn't hate it. You're its most vocal critic last night. Okay, I love the finish, and I love Jordan's dad chumming up to him afterward.

I didn't watch it.

I love that. I did watch it. I don't know where to find it. I love that father-son moment. Netflix, gimme a break. I also don't need a—

Whatever happened to This Day in Baseball?

A home run champion with 49 career home runs. This guy's not a home run hitter.