Transcript of The Big Suey: Keep Up, Dad (feat. Dianna Russini)

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad, reads like... Cuervo. I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo. So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Roximo. Cuervo. Com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.

Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry.

I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't to you guys? I've done it. Now, here's the marching band to Nowhere, Fatface, and the Habitual Liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebitard show is presented by DraftKings. Draftkings, the Crown is yours.

It feels that America is a little unsafe in a number of different places, and Diana Rucini is joining us now. Before today, I believe that the most dangerous situation that Diana Rucini found herself in was being by a car while she was walking with Mina before a hit on our show. But Diana Rucini is joining us now, and she is fresh from having witnessed a robbery. She was in the... Yes, she's in the middle of chaos. What happened, Diana? And welcome to the show.

Hi, guys. Yes, I'm in the middle of a danger zone in suburbia, New Jersey. I was not expecting this. So I had to run into Walgreens real quick to just go pick up some, whatever the heck it was, some cleaning product.

Not important.

Not important. And I'm just, I have my phone, I'm about to walk in, and this guy comes flying out. And these two other men behind him are like, That's him. That's him. He's going. He's going. And the man that stole the items got into the Tesla and sped off. And they're like, He stole. I don't know what he stole. I found out later it was Razor's. But at the moment, I didn't know what it was.

I swear I was going I'm not going to say Razors. Everyone's stealing Razors.

Why?

Why?

I don't know. Why are the Razors held behind the lock and key? I don't know.

Now, to be fair, I do use my husband's razor all the time because the men's razor, the male Razors are just better than the women ones, but that's a different story. I guess I do steal it from him, but I don't steal it from Walgreens. So anyway, so this is all happening. And by the way, this is like three o'clock. It's school pickups. So there's just cars everywhere. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, a robbery. And the The guy that ran after him is looking, and he looks over him, he's like, Hey, are the Giants going to start Jackson Dart?

I go, What? You're Diana Rossini, right? I was like, Yeah, but are you all right?

Is everyone all right? They got a gun? The guy did not care. He did not want to talk about the robbery because he followed me back in and he wanted to talk Giants in aisle three, and we did.

So are Do they?

No, it's a great transition. Actually, it's funny. I texted people from the Giants right after that happened. You're never going to guess what just happened to me. They were like, Where do you live? I'm like, I actually live in the same town as Brian Dable and Joe Shane, so things are not good around here. But that being said, yeah, look, I think it's coming. I don't know for a fact right now that they're making the switch. Obviously, Brian Dable is pretty weird about it on Monday. That is the first time he just got bizarre in his press conference. And usually that signals they're having conversations behind the But the time is coming. This offense isn't doing anything. They can't win a game. Brian Dable, Joe Shane are on the hot seat. It's no secret. So I wouldn't be surprised if they make that switch. The only argument that's being made right now, Dan, which I'm sure you guys have talked about on the show already, is if you're the organization, do you want Jackson Darch first game to be against a red hot chargers team that looks like one of the best right now in football, or do you want to wait one more week and allow him to start against a Saints team that is just okay?

Dana, it It just occurred to me, I think that you're wasting your Fame because you would be an incredible accomplice to crimes. You just have to show up at the tail end of the crimes, and everyone forgets that the crime happened, and they start asking you questions about football. They're like, I don't even care. Razors, who cares? I think you need to start testing this and just do small scale things like pharmacies and stuff like that, maybe donut shops, whatever. And then you make your way up to a bank and you have like, jewel heist. And then you just show up at the end. You're like, yeah, Diana Rusini is here. Any questions about fantasy or NFL, and then they'll just flock to you and ask you questions, and then you just split it with the person after.

Yeah. And just talk football, distract the police officer.

Yeah, of course. Distract security that's at the Walgreens that was running around. You're on the crime scene. They lift the tape. You just get the tape, you just continue the conversation with the officers. You kick things around there. You're going to, Oh, what is this? That's actually the way that you get away with the crimes is you go into it and you're like, Oh, what is this? And you just start touching everything. So then your DNA and your fingerprints are on everything anyways. And they're like, Oh, Diana was just I'm sorry.

I was just here.

Exactly right.

I didn't know. I was just an innocent bystander. I mean, look, this was probably the biggest thing that happened in my town anyways, just someone stealing Razors from the local Walgreens. But that concept of I call it getting stuck, unfortunately, sometimes answering football questions, but it happens at daycare pickup all the time. There's these three dads, all three Giants fans, too. And I think they wait for me. They I know my car, and their kids are already buckled in. There's no reason for them to get out of the car. And they'll see me pull up, and then all of a sudden, they have to pick a flower or pick a piece of chalk from the sidewalk. They look so die. What do you think?

What are their names? Let's call them out right now. Jeff's dad. What are their names? Hey, Jimmy. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever. Sanchez.

I don't want to do that. Stop hanging out. Creep. Yeah, the daycare pickup. It's funny. We're talking about this because I asked Kevin to switch with me. I'm like, Hey, Can you do the pickup? And I'll do the drop off because usually people are rushing in the morning, then I don't get stuck helping people with their fantasy lineups. Meanwhile, Kev is like, I'll help them. I'll do it. I have great ideas. I'm like, No one wants to hear your roster, which would be filled with Philadelphia, anyways.

What's your move to avoid it? Do you act like you're on the phone?

No, I'm pretty good about it because these are the most important people in my life, right? They're the parents of Mikey and Joey's friends. I'm going to probably have to be around them forever, right? So I have to be nice. But I have to tell you something. They don't care about what their kids are doing outside of school, like running in the parking lot, honking the horn. When they want to talk about their fantasy team or when they want to talk about whatever's going on in football, they are locked in to whatever it is I'm saying to them. And you know that they're probably going off and telling their buddies like, Oh, I found out that this guy's not playing. I have to be careful, probably, right? I probably shouldn't be giving out too much info in the parking lot.

So yeah. Save it for the crimes. Yeah.

Diana, I have to ask, what do you estimate was the 40 time of the alleged robber who sped out of the Walgreens?

Good question. I don't feel like I had to ask that. Yeah.

So it is a good question. It is a good question because I was thinking, I didn't think he was that fast. I didn't even know what was happening because usually you would imagine if a guy was stealing something, he's darting out of You know? He wasn't moving that quickly. Now, he did beat everybody in the Giants fan that was chasing after him, so he had to have a little bit of speed, but I thought maybe he got a Head Start. But then... So I don't know what the speed was, but I could tell you that I remember thinking, Do I get involved here? Because that's another... Going back to the Mina story from years ago, and I can't believe you recall that, it's how involved you want to get when there's a crime happening in front of you. I think it's your natural instinct to help. Well, at least it's mine. I want to get involved to help. But what was I going to... Should I tackle them? I felt like I probably could have chased a Tesla. Could a human being tackle a Tesla? The guy's like, beep, you know when a Tesla goes in reverse and gives you the warning?

It's like, beep, beep, beep. It did go off. It was like, beep, beep, beep, and then he took off. So it wasn't that scary of a heist.

Why was your Why is Saturday morning column so popular?

This past weekend, I wasn't sure what I wanted to start with in my piece this week because there were so many great topics to get into. But people have very strong opinions, Dan, about Tom Brady's conflict of interest as a minority owner of the Las Vegas Riders, a broadcaster, a flag football player, a coach wearing a headset. I did not realize that this was such a big topic in football, but it is. And I think everyone just has a really strong opinion around football right now on how they see it. So I asked a lot of people in the league what they felt about it. And I had one coach said, Good. I'm glad he's got so many jobs. The less time Tom Katie has to run the Las Vegas Raiders, the better for the rest of us. Because at some point here, the offense, Chip Kelly, someone there is going to be like, Hey, Tom, I should probably use your knowledge here because this isn't going well. This isn't that good. We could be better. And then, of course, you have the other idea of him sitting in production meetings. He's a shrewd person to begin with, having a little bit of an edge over other people.

No one else in the league is doing that. I mean, the only conflict of interest, and I don't even call it a conflict of interest that I can think of right now, is maybe JJ Watt, right? He calls his brother's games. He's called three this year, I think. That's probably the closest to having inside information, but that's different. He's not sharing that with his team. Jj Watt doesn't own a football team right now and helping them prepare for their next game after calling a game against the future opponent.

Diana, how many teams in the league do you know are good?

Eight.

Eight, right? Split the difference.

Yeah, we were doing between 6: 00 and 10: 00, and Chris Cody ventured out there with 11: 00, but through the Vikings and the Chiefs into the mix. Are the Chiefs one of them?

Yeah, I think the Chiefs are fine. The Chiefs always look at September like such a joke. Not a joke. I don't want to disrespect the It's the work that they're putting into it. But it's just an extension of preseason for them. Most of the summertime, they're practicing with guys that wind up getting cut anyway. It's not real there. They don't panic. Even when I have conversations with people there, no one's ever like, God, how are we going to fix this? When you talk to other teams right now, you would think the season was over with the way summer's so dramatic and so doom and gloom at this point. But look, the Chiefs have figured this out every single year. They always come out of the gate a bit slow. And then they're going to get Rashe Rice back and Xavier worthy here eventually, and they're going to be back, and we'll be talking about how they look great again.

I'm looking at the screen right now, and Dan Graziano's pick for Week 3 loser was the Chiefs. Even though that's the one game the Chiefs have won, they looked so bad against the Giants that robbers are creating situations for Diana where she's asked questions about whether Jackson dart is going to start this week. Because Tony says that the red zone drive of Russell Wilson is the single worst red zone effort that he's ever seen.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. You get a couple of plays to score a touch on, try to get yourself back in the game. He airmails one into the tunnel that they call intentional grounding. And then on a fort down, tries to hit the goal post and throws it to nobody. It's like, Russ, do you want to win this game or you just want to end the game because it's late?

What are we doing? Diana, what is more likely to be eradicated next season in rule changes? The touche push or guys running around just punching people to get the football out.

Yeah, I think the touch push. Look, this thing came two votes away from getting banned to begin with. And there's enough people in the league office that don't like the play. And now the fact that it's being poorly officiated, I just think that the momentum is going to continue to build towards getting rid of it. And look, Jason, Kelsey had a killer of a speech at that league meeting where he saved it. He literally saved the touch push. I talked to enough people that were in it of people that hate the push push were like, they had goosebumps based on Jason Kelsi's speech. That's how good it was. And I think it swung the vote. I think he changed the entire direction of the Touche Push just by being so passionate and honest about what it felt like to win and be part of this eagles, I guess, dynasty that's about to be built here if they continue to win like this. But I have a hard time believing that there aren't going to be organizations in this offseason who are going to it and say, Look, we got to get rid of this thing.

So we'll be talking about this all offseason again.

Diana, before we move on from the good teams category, cults. Good? Not buying it yet. Where do you stand?

I'm buying it, and I'm buying the cults more than I'm buying Daniel Jones, right? Because I do think it's two separate conversations. I think we're all waiting for Daniel to turn back into a pumpkin. But you look at the way the team is built right now and set up. He's got protection. He's got a good run game. Jonathan Taylor is perhaps maybe one of the more underrated runningbacks right now because he's always injured. So it's like we forgot about him. Then he's out there and you're like, Wow, this guy's Stakeland Barkley. And they've got a great defense. And you got Lou Anarumo as a coordinator there. Look, maybe Daniel Jones doesn't have to be perfect every game, and that may be okay. That may be good enough for the Colts, which guys, I did not see this coming at all. Look, I heard some good things in the summer, but you know how it is. Everyone thinks everyone's good in August. But people kept saying to me, Daniel can play. He's good. Our defense, and we're like, Yeah, we'll say, Well, we're saying, and so is that punter who's not doing much.

Put it on the poll, please. Are we all waiting around for Daniel to turn into a pumpkin at Lebitard Show?

Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan, and I know it's early in the NFL season, but it has shown you exactly why the NFL is indeed king sport in the United States of America. Great games, incredible matchups, in-demand tickets for these high-profile games. Sometimes, oftentimes, these games are sold out and you're left with the secondary market. Well, let me tell you about my go-to on the secondary market, the official ticketing partner of the Dan Levitard show. I'm talking, of course, about game time. Game time is amazing for a lot of different reasons. Zone deals, panoramic CPUs, the low price guarantee, and game time's unparaleled NFL ticket coverage. I'm an NFL free agent, so I'm always looking for the biggest games, and GameTime makes it so easy to peruse the app. One of my favorite features is, fees are always included. What you see is what you pay. And that is hugely important when you're traveling abroad to catch the game de jour. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code Dan, and get $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code D-A-N for $20 off.

Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the Game Time app today.

On Fox One, you can stream your favorite live sports, so you're there for the biggest moments as they happen. For me, I cannot deal with spoilers, so I need to see it live Live, especially on college football Saturdays and NFL Sundays. With Fox One, you get it all. Nascar, the MLB postseason, edge of your seat plays, jaw-dropping moments, and that rush like you're right there in the action. Sports are meant to be watched live and you can do that with Fox One. Fox One, we live for live, streaming now.

Dan Levatard.

Daddy says you're doing a live show on The Draft. Wic, is it channel 7?

Stugatz.

Those girls on Eyewitness News, they look good. They're mothers. They look good, though.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats. Diana, is Is C. J. Stroud any good? What is going on with Houston?

It's a good question. I'm writing about it this week. C. J. Stroud is really good. I think they are still trying to figure themselves out on offense. They have a new play caller. They have a different-looking offensive line. I still think they're working some kinks out. So he's still good. I'm not in the camp of he's ruining his opportunity here to get some mega extension. I still think C. J. Stroud can play. I just think there's still a lot of work to be done, and there's some things going on behind the scenes that I think we're going to find out about soon.

I want to go back to the Giants for a moment here, Diana. Obviously, they're talking about whether it should be Jackson Dart this week. But if they didn't start Jackson Dart at the beginning of the season, I would assume it's because they don't believe he's ready. Should that mindset change just because Russell Wilson stinks?

No, because I don't believe the Giants didn't think he was ready. I don't think it It was about that. In fact, everything that we've been reporting has been, they think he's ready. They like him. He's been able to understand what he needs to do, and the moment's not too big for him. He's comfortable in Brian Dable's offense. Their personalities click really well. Initially, I was told that Russell Wilson was just beating him out slightly in camp. That's what it came down to, that Russell was just doing a better job with the offense. And they did want to give Jackson a little bit of time to adjust to the NFL, get them more reps. Jackson and Jameis Winston, too, just themselves outside of just taking those second and third-team reps, they stay after practice. They run through the scripts. They're doing a lot outside of just the regular practice to get Jackson dart ready. I know the Giants have felt really good about him. It's just been about the right moment and the right time. And we'll see if they think it's against the Chargers. I mean, I don't know. Zaz, do you think that they should- Don't do it.

Don't do it against the Chargers. That's ridiculous. Why would you do that? That's silly. Don't do that.

I would wait a week. Diana, dad says Shador Sanders is ready to start. What are you hearing about the Cleveland situation?

Wait, Dan's You think Shador Sanders- No, no, dad.

For some reason, he called Deon dad.

Well, dad Sanders.

It's his dad. His father's Deon Sanders. Chris called Dan dad in the break. That's right.

I thought everybody knew that.

I He did. I asked who was on the show. He said Greg Cody, dad, and I was like... I meant Dan.

I thought I said dad.

You did say dad.

Now you're confused.

He bums dad.

Stop confusing the old man, guys. Mom, can you answer the question for the dad's here?

I'm always so confused that there was a second there where I was like, Wait, you're telling me this entire time I thought Greg Cody was Chris Cody's dad and Dan Levatard was the dead? I'm Chris Levatard. I do not get the show at all.

Dan would look very good for his age if he was my dad.

My God, dad, keep up, dude. What? Is that for Dan or Greg?

You just really lost right now. Would you like to answer the question, Diana?

Greg, dad, I know dad thinks that his son is ready, but I don't think Cody is ready to host a show. Chris is just not prepared and ready to do all this.

You did this, Greg.

She's avoiding the question.

Shador Sanders, the quarterback situation in Cleveland. It's not happening. It's not.

It's not happening. He is not ready. This has been the most consistent It's been a significant information shared for a while, that he's just continuing to learn how to be an NFL quarterback. This is not a player who stepped into the league With all this experience playing at a high level, who's coming out like a... We just talked about Jackson Dart. There's a significant difference between Jackson Dart and Shador Sanders for right now. Shador Sanders is very talented. We've seen it. He's just not ready, and he's not going to be ready against some of the defenses that they've got coming up here on the schedule. So no. I love Deion's belief in his son, and he probably should continue to stand by him and say those things, but that's just not the truth.

Chris, Yes, Cody, I think we can catch Diana Rusini in some bad math because I believe she'd be willing to give us more than eight good teams if you start quizz her with your list of good teams, if she's throwing the Colts and the Chiefs into the good teams because she's going to have more than six more.

I didn't say that. I didn't say that I thought the Chiefs were good. You asked me if I was concerned about that.

I'm pretty sure you did. I'm pretty sure you did say the Chiefs were one of the good teams. But regardless, let's go ahead and do this.

Well, if she added the Colts, so I put the Colts on here. So now I have a list of 13 teams here, and you tell me who's not good here.

It's almost half the league.

All right, let's play the game. Tell me. I'm going to read all. I'm going to rattle through them. And you tell me who's not good from this list. Ready? Rams, 49ers, Bucks, Packers, Vikings, lions, eagles, commanders, chargers, chiefs, ravens, bills, colts.

They're all very good.

Okay. Very good.

Whoa, what just happened there now? Okay, Diana, I'm going to need you to do better math or choose your words better.

I'm going to write down the teams that I think are the best in football right now. I don't think the commanders are the best in football right now. I don't think the Bucks are the best in football right now.

You need to be careful.

No, she doesn't.

The Bucks defense- So good. Against the Jets, they were not very good, considering. They're also dealing with injuries. We have to see how that situation... I'm trying to compute everything here. For right now, I've got the Eagles, the Bills, the Chargers, the Ravens, the packers, the lions, and the Rampss. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Now the Colts aren't good unless you want to make them your eighth.

I'll make them my eighth just because you're driving me nuts. Okay.

Are those teams capable of winning the Super Bowl? Is that your list?

Well, you guys keep changing. What is the The game is who's capable of winning the Super Bowl?

The game was who's good.

That's not the game. Until you answer the question, then we'll change the question.

Is it who's good on September 23rd, or is it who's going to win the Super Bowl?

Who's capable of winning the Super Bowl?

On September 23rd or the end of the year?

Just right now, who do you think is capable?

If the Super Bowl was today, Diana, if the Super Bowl was September 24th, who would win?

Thank you, dad. I'm going to Stick with those eight.

Speed up the-Chargers, Ravens, packers, bills, eagles, rams, lions, colts. Who's she missing? Who's she missing there?

I took out the Bucks. I took out the commanders and-Packers, rams? I have them in there. All right, my bad.

She took out Vikings.

49ers.

I took out the Vikings.

She took out the 49ers, too, I think.

I took out the 49ers.

Mac Jones keeping them afloat.

Took out the Dolphins. He boasts out for the year. Everyone's hurt. Everyone's always hurt. What are they doing out there?

They're doing a violent thing injures people.

Mac Jones's jersey was ripped from one side of his sleeve all the way to the other. And then that happened to Hopkins last night.

I just feel like every Monday, I'm tweeting about the 49. I don't know. They are the most injured team right now, and I feel bad because they could be really good. They've got superstars on that team, but they're not out there.

We're going to speed her up now and get as much football information as we possibly can. So let's begin the Vikings quarterback situation. What do you have there?

Well, it continues to be Carson Wentz. They love the guy. He had a week of practice that blew them away. They were energized by him. I don't think they need him to be the savior. If he just listens to Kevin O'Neill and that defense plays the way they do, they're going to be just fine.

Tony, what are you making faces?

Blew them away on one week It's Carson Wenz. I mean, I get he probably had a good week of practice. Blown away is strong.

No, I felt the same way when I was talking to people there. I'm like, What? What are we talking about here? This is Carson Wenz. But look, you're not really being asked to do too much when you're in Minnesota. Based on that roster and what they bring and the way they can coach their quarterbacks. I think Kevin O'Kunal has proven that. I do think the question that remains, and they're going to tell you, No, no, no, and we'll take their word for it, but it will be interesting to see, what if they go over to Europe and Carson Wentz is really good, and JJ McCarthy is coming back, and now he's got this high ankle sprain? Do you immediately go back to JJ, or do you let Carson ride out if it's working. I think that's going to be an interesting topic when they get back, if they're winning.

Three weeks, not much from Travis Hunter yet. What say you?

I just don't know if they know how to use them, right? Think back to when he was in college. He popped The second he was on the scene, he's not popping at all. I actually wrote about it this past weekend, and it just... I think they need to either... Instead of worrying so much about playing on both sides of the ball, they need to just put him in the best position where he can be his best. Based on what I'm seeing, put him on offense. Just let him be a receiver and make some things happen, because when him and Trevor Lawrence are making it work, he can be dynamic.

He can't drop the ball as much as their other receivers do.

Yeah. I don't know what's going on there with that. Look, maybe they just have the yips. I'm not sure how that works, but that's not good. There's been a lot of drops, though. That's September. Everyone's dropping. How many fumbles do the Patriots have? I mean, inside the five yard length.

That was wild. That was five turnovers.

That was horrendous.

Don Levatard.

Are you on the fan right now? Did Mike Greenberg call you yet? Are you ever going to go back to ESPN? People think it's so weird you're a writer now. All those years on TV, all those years, and now you write.

Who reads that? Stugatz.

Why did you take a job at the Atlantic? Mom, I work at the athletic. What?

You're on YouTube? This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Diana, to stick on the Jags really quick. I know this might be a little bit inside baseball, and I know you probably have some good relationships with people inside the Jacksonville organization, but I want to say something that is on me, not on you. Just so it gets out there, just in case you can have your stuff covered. Shane Waldrin sucks. He's been terrible everywhere he's gone, yet continues to get jobs. In Seattle, sucks. Is that the OC for people that- He's a passing in coordinator now. Seattle Seattle, sucked. Chicago, sucked. Now, all of a sudden, he comes to Jacksonville. They suck. What's the issue?

I don't know what his issue is, Tony, but Liam Cole runs the offense. So you can say what you want. Liam is not letting anything happen without his sign off. So yeah, maybe Shane Walgern hasn't proven to us that he's elite, but he must be doing something to make Liam feel good. Hey, he's keeping him on the staff. But just remember who's running the show there. So any issue that you have with the passing game, you got to I don't think that on the head coach.

It's a curse.

Is Caleb Williams turning the corner?

Yes. Look, I don't think people want to be patient with him, but you can see a difference every single week. We just saw it. I just think his own patience He has his patience in the pocket. This offensive line where they can protect him and give him a few extra seconds, I think this is where we can see him be really good. He's another quarterback who's growing from being a college-type quarterback to being a professional. And we're seeing the improvement improvements every single week. Yeah, I think everyone in Chicago should be psyched for what they're seeing from Ben Johnson and cable items. And it's only September.

How bad are the dolphins, and can they recover to be 500?

They're bad. No.

Perfect. That's the way you do it. Isaiah Rogers, when's the last time you saw a defensive game like that?

I had a conversation with a head coach this morning about that. He literally said, That might be the best defensive performance I've ever seen in my life, and this person's in his 40s. So yeah, I'd agree with that sentiment, too. That was tremendous, which is going back to the Vikings. That's all they need.

If the Dolphins lose at home on Monday night football to the Windlass Jets, is Mike McDaniel the coach the next week?

I don't know. They know they got a problem there. I just don't think they're being very quick to pull the trigger here. They may be willing to stick with him through the season, depending on how this goes.

Who's a team that's not on your list that's a sneaky team that in a couple of weeks, people are going to be like, Oh, wait a second. This team is looking really good.

The Commanders. Oh, that's cheating.

They were on your list already.

No, but that's- No, they weren't. No, they weren't on her list.

On the very good list. She had two lists. She had a 13-team list that was very good.

I have a September 23rd good list. I have a Super Bowl list. If you had to rob a store with a team list, which team would you want to rob a store with?

The Lions, I I think I'd go in with their- Good protection. Their liars? Their offensive and defensive lines.

No, he's saying we go in with the lions, which if you had to go- Why wouldn't you pick the Stealers? With the roster, who would it be? Oh, yeah. It's a question for Dan.

How do you feel about Baker Mayfield's nickname, Two Minute Mayfield?

I love it. Someone there was like, Isn't he like Clint Eastwood? I'm like, Are you 90? Don't you think we can have a better comp to Baker Mayfield than Clint Eastwood?

Two Minute Mayfield. I don't love that as a nickname. Just going to go on the record.

I wouldn't love Two Minute Tashay as a nickname. That's a good one. I like that one.

Two Minute Anything.

Not my favorite nickname is a guy. Two Minute Mayfield.

Two Minute Two minutes. Two minutes, fine. Long Two Minute. I don't mind it.

Don't mind it. I'm busy. Got things to do.

The Gack. The Tampa Bay Bucks are also very injured. What do you do with the Tampa Bay Bucks?

You get them healthy.

Stealers would have been the way to go.

No, but Dan, did you hear what Chris said? The lions because they're liars. People that steal are lying. I hope you guys know that. But what does that have to do with the lions? He said, They're liars.

Who said stealers, though? Who was that? That was Billy.

That was Billy. Stealers is good.

What a bunch of dummies we are all for. Me and Dan are like, Yeah, we'll take the lions. They're tough up front. They'll get those racers. Idiots. That's frigged dummies.

Yeah, that's stealers is better than that. The stretch of eagles football that we've gotten winning 19 of 20 games, no matter how fluky this last one was. I think of them as front runners. I don't think of them as the team that can come from behind, but obviously, they did against a very good team.

Yeah, they still haven't played their best football yet. And look, they're still working out those kinks a little bit. They got a new OC. What I'm observing, though, is they haven't played their best. And it's so obvious when they give the ball to the superstars, especially when the run game is getting shut down, right? Because every team is throwing eight in the box to stop Saquon. Just throw the ball to AJ, throw it to Devante, every time, and it will work. So I think their game plan is probably going to get tweaked over the next few weeks because it's pretty evident that they will win games if they just use their receiver. So I just like the fact that they never panic. That's my favorite part about this Philadelphia Egls team. They don't ever I mean, the person sitting next to me watching the game is losing his mind, but that team doesn't. They're just hanging out. They know they'll figure it out.

Tony, why are you laughing at the back of Chris Cody's head while hiding behind your microphone? It seems like you feel bad for Chris Cody.

It was a good joke by me, actually. It was a good joke. There was just a better one out there. I understand what the math he was doing, right? The mental math is you ain't lying because his dad always says that joke about liars. He heard lion, and then all of a sudden, he's like, because they're liars.

Greg Cody's algorithm algorithm. I don't know what Diana's algorithm is, but Greg Cody's algorithm is filled with lions. He loves watching lions-I wrote the book. Win a fight. He doesn't like lions losing a fight, but he has an algorithm that's filled with lions winning fight.

Yeah, lion in the wild, man. If it's chasing down an antelope and jumping on an antelope and bringing down an animal twice its size and killing it with a bite to the neck in a matter of seconds, turn Turn on.

Everyone knows a model for the wild.

What? Turn on? Turn on? What? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Turn on? Those make me sad.

It's the wild. Things happen in the wild. Don't admit that.

Turn on?

Things happen in the wild, man.

You just admitted something weird.

You said it's a Turn on? So your algorithm is-I don't mean sexually.

Where does your mind go? What other turn ons do we have? What other turn ons do we have? Go ahead. Define turn on.

Turn on? Go ahead.

It excites me, but not sexually.

Two minutes Mayfield over here.

Two Minute Mayfield over here.

It's ridiculous. Diana, have you ever wanted news to break at a different time more than you do right now.

Two Minute Cody.

Which one?

Which I think would be good for him.

I mean, people, animals in the wild kill each other. I mean, I hate to...

And it turns you on.

It excites me when I see a lion. I wrote a book about a lion.

Revelation.

What do you feel like? Does blood pump through your body? Yeah.

It's exciting to see- It fires you up, Greg.

That's what you should have said.

It fires me up.

It fires me up. It's exciting to see the power and Majesty of of the King of the Jungle in action. It's good.

Isn't it usually lionesses?

But you don't want to watch, for example, a lion can rarely bring down a giraffe. There are a lot of videos out there of lions trying to bring down a giraffe and failing. The giraffe's like, That's the thing. Why is that neck around?

Well, they just-Yeah, giraps can kick you and kill you.

No, it's the whip with the neck they do.

It's the whole thing. That, too.

Why are their tongues purple?

Good question.

That's a very good question. Where's McGill when you need them?

I don't know. What is your algorithm, Diana? What would find if we were snooping around in your algorithm and it was producing? It'd be a lot of football, wouldn't it?

No. Turf toe surgeries. I felt that a worm hole. That's the worst, right? Two Americas. One thing makes you curious, and then you're stuck looking at it. I'm past it. We move past the Turf Toes surgery, but it's still on my thing. I don't know. I do a lot of fitness things, hot chips, just random things that I just find entertaining and boring. I got that good algorithm.

Not animals, though. I got that good algorithm. Giraffe tongues are purple because they are rich in melanin, a pigment that provides protection from sunburn while they feed on high tree branches exposed to the harsh sun.

Amazing that you know that off the top of your head. You're a real expert, really. That's incredible.

Why are Flamingos pink?

It's because of what they eat. The shrimp. It's the shrimp.

Shramp. Shramp.

Yeah.

Diana, has Joey been behaving?

No. Joey's had a rough couple of days. So So I was stuck with him the other day and-Stuck with him.

Whoa.

Just basically, what happens sometimes is in between... There's a good hour where before my help comes here, I have an hour with Joey, and I just need him to hang out and play trains or with his eggs. But he was not in the mood. So I just gave him Gatorade, which you shouldn't give kids Gatorade, their babies. That's fine. He's too little for it. But I was like, Here, Gatorade, take it. And he's like, Oh. I did not know that Fruit Punch red Gatorade will stain your couches and carpet. Everything. Everything. Is there anything worse than that? I can't get it out now. So Joey just dumped it. So now our living room is destroyed. I tried all of it. What is the secret to getting a stain out?

I don't know. Put it on the poll, please, @Levitar. Show, Worst stain, red wine or Fruit Punch Gatorade? I was not aware that Fruit Punch Gatorade would be dangerous, but it makes sense that it would be dangerous.

It's not good. I tried the club soda. I tried all the carpet remover. Did you blot? I blot it.

Did Joey show any remorse?

No, not at all. He doesn't have a lot of empathy. I've noticed this, actually. It's a problem. He doesn't feel bad. If I'm like, Joey, not a bad boy, or you're being a bad boy, and he just smiles like, Yeah, I know.

How old is he now?

He's two.

There are no bad boys. There's just bad choices, Diana.

Put it on the poll @Levitar. Is that what you use? Is that what you use? Is a two-year-old capable of empathy? Because I believe you're asking too much of Joey there.

Yeah, terrible twos.

Tell me about, have you guys tried the Gatorades in the can? Yeah, they're great.

Back in the day. I haven't recently, but I used to love them.

Chris, they're back. So I just ordered a case of them. Why is Gatorade better in a can than in a bottle?

Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Is Gatorade better in a a bottle? To me, it feels like sacrilege to have it out of a can. It feels wrong. I'm not saying it tastes wrong, but it feels wrong. It tastes good.

I felt unfulfilled when I had it because it was only 12 ounces. I was at the zoo and that's how they had it. So I bought a gator in a can. I chugged it, and it was gone way too quick.

Like Stone Cold Steve Austin? Literally.

That is how I knew the cans were back. I was at the zoo with the boys, and it must be a zoo thing. I got a can of the green lime or the lemon lime, and I was like, This is the most delicious thing. But I was just thinking in my mind when I was drinking it, is it because of the nostalgia that we grew up with canned Gatorade, or is it just actually better? And I've had a bottled Gatorade since.

Not as good. I think it just feels colder, too. It tastes colder, if that makes sense. Yes. The best was when the Gatorade was in the big glass.

That's the best way to drink it.

That's the best. It was in that glass shorn. We're too young for that. We don't know what you're talking about.

At Lebitard's show, does it feel wrong to drink Gatorade out of Can, Yes or no? Because I believe that's going to come back with a lot of yes on it, even though you guys are saying that it tastes better that way. Diana, good talking to you. Thank you for being on the show. Good seeing you again. Check out her work at The Athletic. She also writes. She's not out here just gasbagging. She's writing things that a lot of people are reading. It's nice to see you, young lady.

Yes, writing this list of good teams today.

There it is. Good teams today. That's good use of your time right there.

Bucaneers would have been better than lions, too. You ain't lying.

I mean, also Titans would have been good.

Pirates. Pirates, Bucaneers. Pirates, yeah. They steal treasure.

You guys are good at these. Well, I just went with a bunch of offensive linemen that are really physical. It feels so bad.

We missed the whole thing. You and I are the morons.

I stink.

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad reads like... Cuervo. I think it could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo. So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo. Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo. Com. Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.