Transcript of Local Hour: The Tablet Time Decree (feat. Tamara Zaslow) New

Chris, where's your father? I wanted to start the show with catchphrases.

He's sleepy.

Is he going to be part of our draft coverage on Thursday night? Is he resting? Does he need to, does he need to pace himself? Is he at the point where he has to pace himself? Is he doing a change of show regimen where instead of doing two shows consecutively, he's doing a show in the morning and a show at night? Is he now just stamina broken?

He did say when I told him of this week's schedule, he's like, you get me for one on Thursday. I'm not doing both. So we will have him tomorrow, main show, and then Thursday night for the watch along.

I also had that decree. So I'm only on live show at night.

I don't believe that we should be making decrees around here, you or him. I don't think that decrees are what we need.

I made a decree. The Marlins are playing a midweek game and that's the only time I go to a baseball game.

I made a decree.

So I will not be here. I'll be at Lone Depot.

I won't be here either.

I'll see you there.

I'll be here.

I'll be here.

Uh, Zaslo, did you cut yourself shaving?

Oh, underneath here? Yo, don't worry about that.

What's in that gullet? Let me see.

Wow, it's a nice little chunk you took out.

Thank you.

This is the Dan Levator Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

Did Zaslo watch that Anaheim game against Edmonton late into the night? 1 o'clock in the morning? Morning yesterday, did you?

Okay, I didn't watch that one, but I, I, I was lying in bed. We established late at night after I was watching my stories. I went upstairs to bed. My stories is wrestling. And I brought out the tablet because my wife doesn't let me watch TV in the bedroom anymore when she's trying to sleep. And I was watching hockey.

When did that get banned?

A few months ago.

Oh, wait a minute, what happened? So you made it through 2 years of majestic playoff runs in hockey? What do you— what, what happened a couple of months ago?

She feels that she's got hand now, I guess, in the relationship.

So you've got to watch it on the tablet in a different part of the house?

No, no, I'm watching it next to her. Yeah, but like, I got the AirPod in and, you know, I, I'm lying next to her, pitch black, sucking his thumb. I got, I got the, the tablet on, on a pillow on my stomach.

Got your powers of pain pajamas.

Because if you're on pinky, if you're on your back, you'll fall asleep and drop it on face.

Yeah, yeah, that's embarrassing.

On your tummy.

I can't— and I can't put the, the brightness— I got to put the brightness down a little bit on the iPad because I, you know, it could wake her up.

There's nothing better— I'm with him on this— than like when it's dark in a room and you put that brightness down and like the—

ah, there's nothing better.

Feeling of—

that would be your choice.

Turn down the brightness.

That would be— I prefer sex, but that would be your choice on nominating something for the best. Okay, all right.

I—

that's, uh—

and I can tell you, Dan, If I position the iPad properly on my stomach, it kind of feels like I'm watching the TV. You know, it's because it's like the same shape.

Oh, Jesus.

So I trick myself.

You're cosplaying TV time?

I trick myself. This is really a TV I'm watching.

What happened in the last couple of months? You've been watching sports and way too much sports for way too long. What happened in the last couple of months that finally fed up? Your wife?

Uh, I don't know.

She—

like I said, she feels that she's got hand in the relationship right now. Like, at some point, I guess the tables turned where she feels like she's in control. But can I tell you something? Okay, because you're saying I've been watching a lot of sports. Last night was like a breaking point for my wife because it was, it was 8 PM, all right? And that's when my stories come on, of course, on Monday nights. And I yelled upstairs to my son Jordan, go, Jordan, come on, Raw's about to start! And like, he watches it with me, he watches wrestling with me. And my wife turns to me because she was watching TV in the family room and she knows that means that I'm about to take over the remote and TV. And she says, it's every single night. And I go, what? She goes, I don't remember. Like, you're watching wrestling 6 nights a week.

Yeah, it's been a big week for that.

That's what I tried to explain to her. But she says, like, it's every night now. When did this start? You're watching wrestling every night.

Well, make sure to treat her real good. Today is a Tuesday. It goes right back on Wednesday. You know what that means? It's Wednesday Night Dynamite.

I'll turn the brightness down extra low on the iPad tonight. Were you watching Senator Senators, Hurricanes?

Yeah. You were watching that live? This was before tablet time?

No, I was watching that on the tablet.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's what you were watching? Yeah. What were your thoughts on that overtime?

I mean, it was wild, right? Like, I'm rooting for the Senators, of course, because it's always after hurricanes. Not the Miami Hurricanes, the Carolina Hurricanes.

Thank you.

I feel like that's a given.

Manny Diaz did ring the alarm, the siren, before.

You felt like that was a good sign for Ottawa, you know? And yeah, the Senators, they blew it. The Senators dominated the third period. They played really well in overtime. I hate the Canes, and the Canes won, so that was obnoxious. Hockey's good, man. I'm glad it was.

That was a great game. That was playoff hockey. Everybody eating pucks. Olmark was out of his mind. There was a game-winning save on Kachuk.

Oh my God.

There was a game-winning goal, Dan, that got taken off the board after like what had happened in the buildup to the play. There was like a full like 90 seconds that happened after the offside. You get the game-winning goal from Martinuk and they go to the replay system. They decide, hey, no, in this buildup before the penalty, they were offside. However, in this instance, while they pull the goal back, the penalty call stands and they awarded a penalty shot in which Martinuk missed a penalty. But then later on in the game, Roy Martinuk gets to be the hero. Yeah, absolutely. Like he was— that was vindication right there for him. So good on him.

Ended up scoring the game-winning goal and now Hurricanes up 2-0 going to Ottawa.

This Ottawa team is so deep. I don't think this series is over. It hasn't started because no road team has won just yet.

Oh, come on.

I like the way they play. I think they're deep, and it's not a popular thing to take a lower seed down in an 0-2 hole, but I would not write them off.

Flyers-Penguins has definitely started.

I mean, jeez.

Poor Damashek.

Fraud.

Put it on the poll, please, @LeBittardShow. Was everyone eating pucks last night? There are a couple of things here locally that I wanted to talk about, including Mike Ryan saying with a straight face— you heard him say this, right? Quote. I know the brain of the Heat fan. You heard him. You heard him say this today, correct?

Yeah, he said it. He said it like it was chest out too.

Sick, sick mind.

And he was mentioning this because he was saying if Bam were not on the Heat, he would be the disgruntled superstar that the Heat would be trying to get.

Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm telling you a lie right now. He is absolutely the superstar in purgatory on a middling franchise that is saying all the things after games that Heat fans would absolutely read into and Photoshop him. And so today he's a superstar. No, I'm saying this is, this is the mind of the Heat fan. The Heat fan doesn't think Bam is good enough. However, if he were on another team, he would be.

That sounds like what you're saying.

Yeah, that's you. No, I look, you know where I stand on Bam. Where do you stand?

Where do you stand on him? Is he a superstar? Is he not a superstar?

I don't think he's a superstar. I think he's an, he's an all-star. He's a tremendous two-way player. He's one of the best players in franchise history. We have seen the ceiling of this team when Bam is your best player. But what— tell me what I'm telling lies.

How are you guys defining superstar? Okay, because there's—

can he be your best player and you can win a championship?

Well, how many of those are there? 5?

Handful.

5?

Yeah. I mean, there are guys like that that are— that just don't have the right supporting cast.

Jokic has won one.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Anthony Edwards is a superstar. He hasn't won a championship yet. But if you surround him with the right team and the right organization, he certainly will.

When I ask you guys, though, to name the superstars, The, uh, the reason I'm doing this is because I, I guess Jalen Brunson is now becoming a superstar.

He's a superstar.

Yeah, but I don't know if I can win something with him as my best player. I, I don't know that. And so if that can't be the definition of what a superstar is, but I think, see, Jalen Brunson's a tricky one because isn't the reason—

wouldn't we agree the reason we don't think that you could win with him is because of his stature? Which we saw on full display last night, by the way.

Yeah, the stature makes it that throughout basketball history, somebody that size, unless you're, I say, unless you're Isaiah, there's no one who wins at that size as the, as the lead player.

Allen Iverson got close, but like, if we're talking about winning a championship defines you as a superstar, I don't think that's the metric.

No, I don't think that's what it is.

He was revolutionary beyond superstar.

Hey, I would get you seals. Isaiah Thomas was a tremendous defender on the ball. Jalen Brunson defensively. Liability.

They killed him last time.

Yeah, and in there, I want to talk about that game in a second, but Tony, when you mention Allen Iverson got to the Finals, yeah, he got to the Finals in the same way Jimmy Butler got to the Finals and got swept in 5 games, and Mike has called them a failure since. Like, and, and we, we did get swept in 5 games.

That's how that Lakers one felt, and that's how that Nuggets one felt.

Jimmy Butler, uh, is a superstar, correct?

Yes, he is.

It can't be. It can't be that I can win something with him as my best player when we had that conversation for 3 years and then they ran into— All right.

Like, just, I mean, Amin was pounding the table that Jimmy was a superstar. And I mean, he almost got there. Who knows how that bubble shakes out of everyone.

Carried the team to the Finals twice. Like, he's a superstar.

Okay. But the question before he got here was, can you win with him as your best player? And then they couldn't with him as their best player. And the other part of it is person we're talking about here, we're having this conversation, is Bam, when I can make a pretty decent argument that Bam's as good a number 2 as there is in the league, but that doesn't make you a superstar.

Yeah, see, your definition of that's different than mine. It's like this idea that you— if you didn't win the last game of the season, you weren't good enough. And that, that to me, that to me is bullshit. You know, like, you, you could, you could lose to a team that was better. Like, your team is good enough if you're in the final round. Your team's good enough. You're there. You're playing for the championship.

Yeah, you, you say this, but Vince Carter got to the Finals, never won anything, was a superstar, and when he got to the Finals, got swept, and they didn't actually have a chance in those Finals. That team is forgotten forevermore because that Nets team of Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson ends up getting to the Finals, and it's not remembered as a winner. The Nets are a loser franchise, and that's remembered as their best season, but it ended at the end with them not actually being close. Because they got swept.

I mean, they lost the Lakers and the Spurs.

I mean, eye on the ball though. The mentally deranged Miami Heat fan would absolutely be photoshopping Bam out of bio is the larger point, as he professes his love to his coach after the 83-point game. Like, I understand what you're saying. There's, there's been plenty of sound. I'm sick of being in the play-in.

I don't think Mike is saying that Bam actually believes Bam is disgruntled.

No, no.

What I'm saying is, and you're getting to it, the Heat fan would absolutely decontextualize. I'm sick of playing and wouldn't take all the others. We're not beating the teams that we should. Like he said in enough things that Heat fans who have a supreme radar for these things would absolutely seize on and say, that's our guy.

Tony, what happened there? That sounded like an awful—

what happened?

That sounded like an awful—

it's fibula—

Mike sneeze.

This is exactly what it was.

Into your hands. Was it wet? It looked a little wet.

Now, what it was into my— because I do the crook of the elbow Dracula sneeze.

But you didn't get into the elbow though. It looked like you were sneezing into your bare hands, that they were lower, and you catching it like you would in a bucket.

It was close, but I was able to get to the crook. The issue is, Dan, that we're renovating the house, and yesterday I had to de-dust the walls. You know what that means? So I got the compound all over. I know you're a homeowner, so you got the compound all over it, right?

He is.

I don't know.

It almost got taken by somebody else, but he is a homeowner.

Oh, okay.

I'm just close to the bone. My bad. Okay, so we got compound everywhere, right? And then I got to sand the compound down, and then the dust of that stays on the wall. So I have to sit there with a microfiber towel and wipe off the dust of the walls. Had a mask, had goggles, but the mask, it didn't— it was like kind of halfway open and it snuck in. So I got all the dust in my lungs and in my nose. So I'm battling through the dust right now, Dan.

Sounds terrible.

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Dan Levitard. I win in the margins. I'm like, I'm like— You're Moneyball of sex? I'm basically Scott Haderberg of fucking. Stugatz.

A lot of walks, but I'm on base.

When it comes to sex, I'm Scott Haderberg. Other dudes, they can be Giambi. You know your role, you play well. I know my role.

This is the Dan Levitard Show with the Stugatz.

Uh, Zazz, what happened to that mark on your chin? It looks like somebody hit you in the face with a cleaver.

I mean, we already established, cut myself shaving. My God, you don't know how to— you don't sometimes shave and cut yourself and then you walk around, everybody asks you about it? How annoying is that?

Whatever.

All right. See, everybody can see now.

No, they can't see it because of the angles in here and the lighting.

But it is—

it is a chunk of blood that you have on the lower part of your face. And while you say, what's the matter, Dan? You never seen someone cut themselves shaving before? Never before on a national sports television show. No, I've never seen it before.

What am I supposed to do?

But I'm saying you ask—

keep it tight.

You ask me a question. You ask me a question and I will ask you. Tony Kornheiser has been an old man on television for 25 years. I have never seen his face with a cut from shaving. I've never seen anybody who does national sports television have— do the show with blood on their face. Awesome.

Maybe that's why I'm here. I'm doing stuff that's never been done before.

We seize on insecurities, but we do so in the form of a question that makes it more palatable.

Uh, do you guys, uh, have for me— can you give me some sort of photo of Tony battling the dust? Uh, did you get any of that on, uh, camera, him sneezing into his hand. Uh, there you have it there. That looks like Tony—

that's fighting a sneeze.

That looks like Tony reacting to Mike's bad opinion. That's what that looks like. No, I was— no, I was on— I was on board with it.

We'd absolutely be photoshopping that.

He's an all-star, he's not a superstar.

I didn't say that your opinion was bad. I said that the video they just showed me made it look like— if I just had to put a caption on it, I would say, here's Tony reacting to a stinky Mike Ryan opinion, because it doesn't look like he's battling allergies. Magics there. It looks like what he's battling— a fart.

Why are we all being attacked by Dan today? This is nuts. Oh, I want to get attacked. I think that if you built a perfect team around Bam the same way you've built a pretty perfect— so no, no, they've built a hell of a qualifier. All right, so, all right, so if you built a very good supporting cast, win a gold medal. You're right. Listen, if you build a really good supporting cast around Bam the same way you've built a really good supporting cast around Brunson, you're more likely to win a title with Bam as number one than Brunson. Well, a lot of the guys that are—

you're saying they haven't done that?

A lot of the guys that are built around Brunson are guys that were readily available via trade, and the Miami Heat decided— we're not— that's not the conversation I'm having. Okay, I'm doing a theoretical thing. It's interesting because theoretically they have failed Bam Adebayo in doing that, while other teams in the East have built around like plug-and-play guys like Siakam. The NBA has moved away from the model that Pat Riley is still married to. They are building more complete teams right now. And the Miami Heat seem to be really struggling with this.

I always run into a problem when I have to sneeze on a plane. Like, that happened to me a couple weeks ago when I came back from Colorado because I don't want to be rude and then like if some of the sneeze gets on the person sitting next to me. 'Cause it was just me and my wife on the plane and I don't know how you sit on the planes, Dan, but I buy an aisle seat and my wife gets the aisle seat right next to me. I do that too. We don't sit next to each other because, you know, she doesn't want to sit in the middle and obviously she'd be the one sitting in the middle, not me. And then when I have to sneeze, it's like, eh, how do I— you know, if I sneeze into the pit of my arm, I don't want a little bit to go somewhere and then it gets on somebody and it's very disgusting.

You ever go inside shirt?

No.

Yeah, that's what I would do on a plane.

Really?

Unless it feels super like mucusy, which is rare. If it just feels like a standard sneeze, you just lift up the shirt.

Boom.

Zazz, you had Dan in economy with 3 people in a seat where he sits where there's only 2 people in the seat. He buys all 3. So he's on the— there is no 3. When you're in first class, there's only 2.

But if he were in economy, he'd buy all 3.

Zazz, how would you feel about us calling Tamara and having her maiden voyage on the show and just asking her what happened here that makes you now tablet time guy? That like, what happened in the last 2 months that she has finally grown fed up with the television and its life?

Right. Well, first of all, she has a job. All right. That's, that's first and foremost. Got to point that out. It's after 9 AM.

So does Greg Cody's wife running a law firm. And she takes time out of her day to call the show on Tuesdays to celebrate how weird her husband is.

Good comeback. My wife—

When you're a partner, it's a little bit different. She's got one of those real jobs.

My wife's not good under the lights, you know, she buckles under the pressure, she gets very nervous, all right? We established that many years ago when Boog Shambi tried this with her, and we brought her on the air, and she was a mess. She did not like it.

Let's not take the hint, keep pushing.

Send Chris Cody her contact information to see if we could get Tamara before the end of the show.

My man!

I'll get to that Knicks-Hawks game in a second because you guys are talking about, yeah, they gave up 5 first-round picks because Bridges was the last piece they needed to win a championship. And then all of a sudden, right, this happened. You guys remember that one brief moment in time where A-Rod changed everything by trading 5 first-round picks for Rudy Gobert? And then for, for a little bit of time, I don't know how long it was, the going rate for a Bridges was 5 first-round picks when the Knicks decided that was last piece. And then they stopped doing that. They, they did it for how long? Was it just a crazy spell of like 18 months where, uh, Gobert— Gobert's the first human being ever that bothers Jokic a little bit every once in a while.

He's so confusing to watch in certain series because in this series you absolutely get why they paid the price that they did, and then depending on the opponent that they get in the next round, totally played off the court. It's just a bizarre player.

Yeah, but they've— there's only one human being on Earth who bothers that guy. There's not a second one. Like, it ain't Wemby. It ain't Wemby yet. He's put up 40 points 3 straight times on Wemby.

It's— you remember when the Miami Heat made Bismarck Biombo like a trillionaire?

Oh yeah, in that 7-game series in 2016.

Do you remember when I yelled at Stephen A. Smith for choosing Tim Duncan over Roy Hibbert?

Everyone remembers that.

Was that my inner monolog? You buried yourself here. I have a number of different things to discuss locally and not a lot of time to do it. I have not yet had time to celebrate the Cyclones. The Cyclones had what Mike Ryan was calling their biggest match of the year last Thursday, and they have survived. The team, the Hylai team that we own, as we continue to try to keep Hylai alive throughout the region and internationally by owning a team, a defending champion team. What happened in the last game, the, the penultimate game, you were terrified, you were scared, you were mad at the television. And that wasn't even the most important game. This was the most important match of the season, was it not?

It was because it was a win and in scenario for your Cyclones. Now, there was an interesting development in Battlecourt, Dan. The players were complaining about the balls on this new court. The balls would get cold as the game would go on and it would lead to some pretty unpredictable bounces. And for a team that is built via backcourt ban, that is a huge problem when our world-class backcourters cannot read the back bounce, the rebotes. You got to be able to read the rebotes. Anyways, more consistent play out of the pelota now, and it resulted in us, you know, beating down the Warriors, the oldest rivalry in Battlecourt, and we have punched our ticket to the playoffs. This is the final week of the regular season. We are now playing for seeding. And an interesting question is being asked around highlight circles. Do you tank to avoid Coach Cherry?

I say no. Any time you do this, any time you try to win or lose for playoff seedings to avoid, to go after certain teams, just a bad omen. You just play the game, you play to win the game, and you let the chips fall where they may.

I will give you insight into our culture. Our culture is to not tank, primarily because we have no say in the matter.

Right.

Put it on the poll, please. Do you have to be able to handle the rebote? And also put it on the poll, do you know what a rebote is? Chris, do you have that sound, please? I saw it on Last Week Tonight, and we can't play that sound, but there are an assortment of Pittsburgh broadcasters who were trying— and rebote is what made me think of this— who were trying to pronounce the word Boricua. And Boricua. Boricua. I'm sorry. Thank you.

That's a bet. Damn.

Abort, abort, abort. It's draft week.

Transition. Ty Simpson.

Ooh, do you see him? I go to the Rams.

Boricua is the, is the phrase for a Puerto Rican. And in Pittsburgh, they are selling the hot dogs and they're just calling, I guess they're just calling them Boricua dogs. But in Pittsburgh, an assortment of broadcasters were trying to pronounce this word. And it's, it's spelled at the end, C-U-E. E, and so they were all struggling with it. Chris, do you have that sound? Play that sound of— you have—

I have a bunch of them separated, so I have a bunch of different examples.

Okay, so just— how do you spell— Tony, I don't know how to spell boricua.

There's no E whatsoever. There's an E in Spanish, which is I in English, but B-O-R-I-C-U-A, boricua.

And so let's hear the sound here from an assortment of Pittsburgh broadcasters.

Boricua.

That's tough. Boricua.

It's almost as bad as Dan though, let's be honest.

Boriquian.

Whoa.

Boriquian.

I don't get this. How is this so hard? Did nobody listen to Big Pun?

Boricua.

Boricua morena. Boricua morena.

They were having some trouble with that. Can you guys give me some information on the Boricua hot dog? Like, what it— what makes it a Puerto Rican hot dog? What is it? Uh, what— why are they selling in Pittsburgh a Puerto Rican hot dog? I don't know what a Puerto Rican hot dog is. I don't know how it's different than any other hot dog. Uh, you will get me that information at your leisure. Uh, somebody mentioned the draft. Uh, on Thursday night, we are as a show doing a live stream, uh, the evening of Thursday, and I don't know long we'll be on, but you can watch the draft with us. And it's, it's a big day locally because it's not just that the Miami Dolphins have a whole bunch of picks and you don't know who their players are and they've fumigated the building. And so it's just a total reset on the franchise that we have not seen before. But also the University of Miami is going to have 3 first-round picks and that hasn't happened in a minute. I had mentioned before that the Miami Hurricanes have never really had one pass rusher off the edge the way that they had two this season.

Like in the history of the program, they haven't had one guy like the two that they had on the edges this season because Calais Campbell is the closest thing. I guess Daniel Stubbs was— Bill Hawkins was a first-round pick, but it wasn't like this where they're the names of the draft.

Rousseau and Jalen Phillips, people sleep on them. They were highly productive players, but At the same time, I think you can say now with certainty it was a hyperbolic take in the middle of the season and you were weighing it against history. But this was a national runner-up. I think you can say with conviction that this was the best pass-rushing duo on the edge that Miami has ever had in their illustrious program history.

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Dan Lebatard. My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs.

Stugatz.

It's a good algorithm.

This is the Dan Lebatard Show with the Stugatz.

I really do think I can formulate an argument on these guys as just talents that you draft. Each one of them is better than almost anyone they've ever had doing that. Just how the NFL assesses these things. Are we taking you in the top 20? Miami has had guys who come up the middle who they'll take in the top 20, but not, not even Calais Campbell, not Jaylen Phillips. There's not something I don't think— I think I can make the argument that either one of these guys are as talented an edge rusher as they have ever had. But what is it that you're most interested, Mike? You were at the spring game. You— you—

yeah. All the prospects, too, for the NFL Draft, because Miami has an outside shot at 4 first-round draft picks. We'll see if a front office falls in love with Keontae Scott. Everybody was at practice. And also Elijah Arroyo. Jesus. He's, he's put together. He's got that Super Bowl glow on him. They've been at all the practices. C.C. Mauenoa, who seems to be at the center of one of the more interesting storylines right now because it seems as though Arizona is trying to put out smoke signals that they're interested in Jeremiah Love at number 3 when most people have Mauenoa going there. Now, Mauenoa has a back injury that has come to light throughout this process. It's an asymptomatic disk herniation. Risk in his back, but it does have teams a little bit worried, so it may hurt his stock. We still expect him to go top 10. Reuben Bain went through the news stream because of his off-the-field thing, and a very interesting reaction to that because it was a sensational headline. People wrongfully call it reckless driving when it wasn't. They— that citation was dismissed.

Yeah, it, it, those are two different things.

Well, here's, here's what it was: an accident, because it wasn't either of those things. That's what the, the law enforcement people and he wasn't going over the speed limit. He wasn't, uh, inebriated. He wasn't given a— even a field test. The officers on the scene didn't feel like that was required. What he did do though was— this happened before his worst season at the University of Miami. It obviously— I asked around— it messed with him. How could it not? He was in a car in which somebody months later after the accident passed away. And I was In one sense, like, I felt bad for the young man. That's a horrible thing to go through. You're kind of refreshed that it actually did weigh on him. He'd be a sociopath if he was just able to move on through life.

Todd McShay called the reporting on Stugatz's podcast— he called the reporting on the reporter on that— called him a scumbag.

Yeah, you don't, you don't really hear that, although Todd does tend to shoot from the hip a little bit, especially nowadays. But that was surprising because because it's not like the report was wrong. Ollie Conley was first. It was just in NFL circles, unseemly. I think Ollie was kind of used, and I think he was kind of used by a team that wanted to use this really tragic moment to actually perhaps tank Reuben Baines' stock so they could get him, which is an interesting move. Uh, Mesidor should certainly get drafted in the first round. Keontae Scott, who's one of my favorite players to ever put on that uniform, honestly, absolute dog. It will be interesting to see how we replace that mentality. I hope he, I hope he gets drafted in the first round.

Yes, this is very exciting. Look at this, we've got Tamara's here and I don't want to bury her in questions, but I do want to bury her husband. Uh, thank you for joining us. It's nice to see you.

Good morning, likewise.

I just want to know why it is that he's got tablet time now. He's not allowed to have the television on anymore over the last couple of months. He's got to watch it under the covers hiding. What happened here that changed the rules in the house?

Sleep is important.

Yeah, but it was important before the last couple of months, and clearly you've reached a breaking point. So what happened?

I have, unfortunately, between the snoring and the bright lights.

Whoa.

It's just time to establish some boundaries.

She says the TV emits too much heat.

Yeah, but, but what? And forgive me for being a nosy journalist that continues to ask follow-ups as if it's an interrogation, but what specifically happened? He's been Somebody who watches too much sports in bed for the entire time you've known him. Now it's a problem. Why is it now a problem?

Snoring, she said.

Yes, it's just excessive, especially it's, it's now wrestling, so I can't stand it. So wrestling at night.

Okay, that's what it is. So you're okay with the Heat, you're okay with the Panthers. It's these guys. It's these guys all lathered up in oils, running around in tights that remind you that you're married to a toddler, basically.

Okay. It's nonsense.

The breaking point is wrestling, Zads. It's that wrestling is— it's not that it's sports, it's specifically wrestling is the problem.

And the snoring.

What kind of snoring are we talking here? Just on your back snoring or even on his side too? Because that's dangerous.

It's all the time. It's a light rumble. It's disruptive. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it takes me 15 to 20 minutes to fall back asleep. I have to nudge him. He apologizes. It's a mess. So at least this way I can go to sleep by myself. I can enter into deep REM sleep. And then when he joins in the bed, I don't even know he's there. That's the best case scenario.

That's her preference.

No good fights.

Not knowing I'm there.

No wrestling.

That's the best scenario. Not knowing I'm there.

She's gotta go, unfortunately. Just one last question, random, no reason at all that I'm asking it. Have you ever been watching a news anchor of any kind in all of your history watching television and that person has a cut on their face?

I don't think so.

I'll see you there.

I mean, Dan's making fun of me because you see under here, like, I have a cut today, you know? And he says, who shows up to work with, you know, blood on their chin? And that's me. I'm the answer.

How'd you do that?

Shaving.

Oh, be more careful.

Good advice. Thank you, Tamara. It is nice seeing you.

Thanks. This went well for me. Thank you.

Yo, you snored.

So, but We just did a zoom in on your face. There's a fair amount of hair on your face still. Did you cut yourself early on and decide, you know what, this is for the birds?

Yeah, like I— it grows back like I'm a werewolf.

That's how it works.

But that's a fresh wound and you got like several days growth. I don't understand it. 5 o'clock shadow at 9:30.

It's a great question, okay? I don't know who you guys would nominate because history of sports, Kurt Warner for me is the guy who shaves at 9 AM and by the 10 AM interview he's already got stubble because his face just gives off aggressive human growth hormone in terms of just growing and sprouting hair at a rate of speed that's unreasonable. But what a great question Mike Ryan has asked. It doesn't make sense that we have what is— it appears to be a fresh cut in the face of a man who has stubble. That just— the timeline doesn't add up.

I mean, it's not that fresh. It's not like I touch it and all of a sudden I have blood on my hand. It's a scab.

If I had detectives here, they would say that this is a crime scene and the evidence doesn't add up.

It doesn't make sense that you're alleging I did not expect this when I came in today.

Hey, I'm patient.

Don't like this.

Beginning to know why I'm in this seat right now.

Don't like it.

I think it's terrible.

Okay. The inner monolog graphic of me is offensive.

The draft on Thursday night, when you talk about the University of Miami hasn't had one like this in 15 years, or we're looking at more than 15 years. The Steelers and the Dolphins are going to have their best day of the year, are they not? Is there— are the Dolphins going to have a better day that this entire year that feels better than whatever it is that happens tomorrow is going to feel when you're going to be filled with hope on something?

I don't think the Dolphins will have a better day this season. Maybe they can snipe a good team during the course of the regular season, make you feel like you're on the right track. Also, a lot— you have a new quarterback.

Back.

So if he looks good, right, that, that's a huge opportunity for you to get excited for the season. That's a big unknown. Uh, interesting stuff surrounding Achan. There's been a lot of posturing through NFL insiders, and, and it's weird. If I were to read it right now and trying to read between the lines as to who this benefits, it kind of seems like the Miami Dolphins are really trying to get out there that Achan is kind of like available. So I'd be curious.

Well, they've done the opposite of that.

Yeah, but I kind of don't believe them. I feel like they're doing that to get attention.

Okay, so, but what are we doing? Are— so what we're saying, just to be clear, is that the new people who run the Miami Dolphins are opening the bidding on how they're going to be received by the audience by telling you publicly and loudly that the one remaining player that anyone has an attachment to is the one who's not available? Like, that's where they're going to start their introduction to Miami?

We've seen this in the NBA all the time. This person is not available. We are not taking calls.

No, but it's a new regime.

But we've this discussion before, okay? And like, I can't believe that your skepticism rises to the level that the people would start by lying on something that they don't need to lie about. They could just make him available privately or not. They don't need to go to an insider and say this isn't available just to drum up interest. Either people are interested or they're not.

And it's been reported that they are far apart on contract talks. I think that this is part of that game.

It's also smokescreen season. Like, that's what we see now during the draft. Oh, this guy's not available, he's the number one prospect ever. Like, 'Never gonna get rid of him,' and then you come with something nice and it's like, 'Okay, yeah, he's gone.' And also, have you not looked around? Lying is everywhere.

I would also point out, as far as this— is Thursday gonna be the best day of the season? Like, if they didn't sign Malik Willis, I would agree with that. But every week now next season, even if the Dolphins are bad, every week now next season is going to be an opportunity for the Dolphin fan to, uh, be excited, to have interest, because you have this new toy that you're hoping can be a long-term toy.

And part of the, the, the course of these things with the star player that may or may not be available via trade is he did the part where Yassizan didn't show up to the offseason workout. So that sends a signal across the league. If you're far apart on contract talks, if you're not showing up to the workouts, and part of this could also be the new administration being like to their fans, look, we tried, we said we valued him, we said he wasn't available via trade. But we can't come to terms. I guess we're gonna have to trade him.

I understand the skepticism for a variety of different reasons. Uh, what I'm simply saying to you is that people who have earned no trust cannot open the bidding by telling us— volunteering for no good reason— volunteering the information. Uh, well, I shouldn't say for no good reason, because if they're volunteering the information, they have a reason, but they're telling their fan base the one guy on offense that you've seen play football and make plays for you, the one guy, the one guy everyone in the league knows, oh, that guy can be a little bit of a game breaker, and I haven't seen one of those very often in a Dolphin uniform, uh, recently. That's the guy that they're going to say is untouchable, uh, to do what?

Get the price higher.

Yeah, come on, guys. So, so, Adam Schefter, come on, guys.

Are you gaslighting us? This is how this goes.

No, the price isn't going to be made higher player by— look, the part I'm reacting to is this: the draft that happens on Thursday comes with all of these players going through a full-day medical where every part of their body is tested. You think these people are so flippant with these trades that Adam Schefter's information is going to move them off of what they already think or know?

Here's what I would tell you: if they really sincerely valued him the way that they're projecting to their fan base, which by the way is all PR spin, they wouldn't be 4 away on a contract.

No, the running back position has changed so much in value that you could get Kenneth Walker for $48 million. And I'm guessing that Achan wants to be worth something like that.

Yes. And, and they don't want to pay him that. And he will be available if the price is right. And that's what they're signaling.

Guys, but what I'm telling you about Achan and the running back market and just how diluted all of the currency has become in that, like, Achan's going to be far apart with anybody because they've made the position worth very little. Like, Achan is the running back. Achan now with that team has more value than he's ever had.

It's really not that bad going to sleep watching the tablet. I watch whatever I want.

Sports fans, all the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over, let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what they text me back? I got the Miller Lite. That's right, they pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Beer, and they come over to my place, we take that first sip, and we realize, man, we just made a regular old-fashioned night into a special night. Thank you, Miller Lite. And shortly thereafter, we got multiple screens on, everybody's dialed into something different, and the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reach for Miller Lite. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for great taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to MillerLite.com/Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time.

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