Transcript of Hour 1: You Know What You Did, Mike!

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This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugats podcast.

Hey, we're throwing a Miller Lite watch party for Thursday Night Football: Dolphins v. Ravens at Flaneigans & Kendall. That is my neighborhood, Flanees. Kendall Drive in Southwest, 127, right there by Kendall Soccer Park. Join us Thursday night for a Halloween block party. Costumes and courage, Dan will make sure of it. Come hang with the crew: Dan, Chris, Roy, Tony, Jeremy, Amine, Juju, Dave Damoschek, who will not shut up about Nate McClouth and more. Party starts at 6: 00. Kick off at 8: 15 PM. And don't miss Flanigan's $1,500 costume contest. It's Miller time.

Looking forward to this on Thursday. It's a block party. We throw good parties, and I assume Lamar Jackson is going to be playing. He's going to play in this one.

I don't know. They apologize for how they approach this injury thing. Lamar, always strange around Lamar Jackson injuries, even when he's not protecting a future contract. But they do have a Will, Buller on their center still.

The reason that they apologized for it is because, you guys do understand, it's because of the gambling line, right?

Yes.

It started at the Ravens were favored by six and a half because Lamar was playing. And then it dips to two because Tyler Hunley, who's good there but not here, goes down to whatever it was, two points. And now it's back up. The Ravens are favored by a countdown coming to Miami, so I assume Lamar Jackson is playing. That's the only reason they would be favored by... They're not going to be favored in the game if Lamar Jackson doesn't play. They wouldn't be favored, would they?

I don't think after the Dolphins had an impressive win Sunday, I don't think they would have been favored.

I mean, they just beat a good Chicago team, and Snoop Hunt look really, really good in that system. So I don't think why would not? Why wouldn't they be?

Because the Falcons lost by 30 to the Panthers. No, they're not a very good team. That win from the Dolphins doesn't exactly prove much. Ravens would have been favorite by two or three, I think.

You think the Ravens with their backup quarterback would be favored here against the Dolphins when the Ravens defense has been just as bad as the Dolphins defense?

I still trust the Ravens.

No, I don't. I don't. I mean, I can't say in its moot because I do think Lamar Jackson is going to start against the Dolphins on Thursday night. A lot of people thought he was going to play this week. It was a little bit of a surprise that he didn't. He's been out a while now. I mean, come on. Will you get a hammy? Let's go.

Yeah, it's exactly what he does. He does. He's got two, actually. Literally.

Come on, Lamar.

Is this a Lobos issue?

No, he's not. Really?

Ljax is not on the Lobos anymore?

He's a proud Lobo.

He's a Lobos Hall of Famer, as you all know. But we I'm going to get them this year.

Damn it. One of the things that I'm always interested in in professional football is how these teams break throughout the season, how the quarterbacks break, even though we're doing everything possible to protect the quarterback. Every week in college and pro-sports, some game has a deciding element on a ruffing the passer that's never been a ruffing the passer before the last couple of years, where you're just not allowed to hit the quarterback anymore. And yet still, they keep getting hurt. The Minnesota Vikings, the wheels have fallen off because they're trying to get Carson Wents, his body parts, to function just long enough to get them back to their starting quarterback. It's one of the reasons that Justin Herbert is actually so valuable. He doesn't miss games. He's so sturdy. He gets hit a ton, gets hit a ton. And just, how many games has he... Who's Los Angeles?

He's battled through injuries.

Who's the Chargers backup quarterback? Anyone? Because I learned- No one. No, I'm asking, does anyone know who the backup quarterback is? They don't even have one. I don't know who it is.

They don't have one. Trey Lance.

Wow.

Yeah, keep Justin Herbert standing up, please.

Put it on the poll, please, at Levitard Show. Did you know that Trey Lance was Justin Herbert's backup quarterback? Let's do Funiest Thing from the Sports Weekend.

Hey, people.

Tell us, what in the sport made you laugh hard this is weekend.

It is a segment we call What makes you laugh this weekend.

All right, guys. Joel and Indeed, playing for the Sixers this year. Their team has actually played better when he's not on the floor, which is a rarity for the 76ers during his tenure. So when a reporter brought it up to him postgame, Hey, what do you think about the fact that these guys are I am better without you? He said, It's been 12 years. I'll take it. It's incredible.

Defeated. Just absolutely defeated.

Finally. Is that a 20-minute-Thank God.

What is that? 20 minutes. This was a really funny sports weekend. It's tough, but I don't want people to forget what happened on Friday. On first take with Kanoon getting legitimately pissed at an Alabama A&M Bulldog mascot that dared to take his hat. It's all fun in games. We're doing hip checks and we're running down the field.

Oh, he hit his hat off.

He took the hat off. He got an open hand slap to the face.

And then right about- And he's telling him, Don't play with me.

A real legitimate shove. He cocks back and pulls back.

The still shot is the best.

Dude, he was legitimately angry. Look at that. That is an iconic photo.

You guys should get for the end of this segment, the video of when those seven guys tried to attack Cam Newton at once. Cam Newton is not to be trifled with under any circumstance.

I saw this- He's bigger than the mascot.

I saw yesterday... He's bigger than most human beings. I saw yesterday that Josh Allen scored his 69th countdown, and they said, Second all time for quarterbacks. I thought for a second, who's first? Oh, yeah. The guy who was bigger than everybody on the goal line, Cam Newton, actually aged prematurely because of how they used him physically. Again, I will say, amazing that Justin Herbert is always available. Cam Newton's bigger than Justin Herbert.

I stood next to Cam Newton on a sideline recently. It was like standing behind Shaq.

Yeah, he's inordinately large, and he was pissed there.

Speaking of open-hand slaps, Dano, Cyril Ghan, full hands, both eyes into the heavyweight title champion of the world right there, Tom Aspinal. Cyril Ghan had two, three stooches, bam, right in the eyes. As you could see, the reactions of me, Louis and Robert Diko, we had there in the center. We were all not happy with how that ended. It was a choppy fight.

You got to block that with the hand on the nose.

That's one of the mixed martial arts, three stooches.

When you don't see it coming, you can't throw it up because he went to go punch. And then as he punched, the fingers went into the eyes. He said it went knuckle deep. It's crazy. If you're looking on the screen right now, the one to the right that looks worse, that looks like his knuckle is actually in his eyeball, is not the one that they called. It was the one to the left, which is the one that actually got hurt, which is why he stopped the fight. So again, to the right, knuckle deep in the eyeball, to the left, not knuckle deep, but that's the eye that got hurt.

What a disappointing way for a marquee fight to end in no contest.

You're telling me. Dan, speaking of eyes, two as eye, what the What happened there?

That's my funny-a-sley. A pink eye. Somebody had left poop particles on his pillow. That's how you get pink eye. You sleep on poop.

What do you know about pink eye?

That's not accurate.

That is how you get poop particles.

It says Dr. Zaz over here.

That's not an accurate- That is.

Look it up. That's how you get pink eye.

Look at this, though. How is his vision not affected?

It's an antibiotics. They work like magic.

His cheek is swoley, Morgan. Look at it. You can barely see.

Poop particles. Yeah.

That's how you get pink eye.

It's a fart.

You fart on somebody's pillow. That's what it is.

You never watched Knocked Up?

You don't know about that? You don't know about that pink guy?

Greg, what was the funniest thing from the sports weekend?

I got to get back to the Steelers' uniforms. They played at the former Hinesfield. They looked like bottles of mustard. It's so ridiculous. I kept saying to my wife, the Steelers look like the packers because the Steelers uniform is the packer's shade, is the packer's color of yellow. It's just ridiculous now what teams are doing with uniforms just for the sake of merchandising and gimmickry, throwbacks. Come on, throw up is more like it. Get back to your uniforms. I want to see the Steelers look like the dealers. I want to see the UM look like UM, not like a battalion.

Now you're with me, Greg.

What year was the uniform that they were using here? Because that feels like a 1950s type of Steeler's uniform before the one we came to know.

We've seen them wear that look once before. Well, originally, that was supposed to be their look. But in the the fifth anniversary of the NFL during the '90s, they rocked that look.

I bet it's earlier than the '50s. I bet it's like late '30s. I mean, that's ancient, that uniform style, especially the design in the front, the stripes and everything. It looked like something that they were wearing when the coaches were wearing fedora's on the sidelines.

When the helmets were turtle shells.

When the helmets were turtle shells. That's exactly right. Well put.

Pink eye, also known as conjunctivitis, is an inflammation of the conjunctiva, the clear membrane covering the white part of the While it is commonly a myth, pink eye cannot be caused by poop particles. Knocked up, lied to us. Cannot.

Wow.

Cannot.

Shout out, by the way, to the Green Bay packers equipment manager that realized we got to go all white. We can't do this to the people.

Shout out to poop particles, too.

What's the funniest thing from the sports weekend? You get your facts wrong, you send shout out to poop particles. That's not useful.

Long overdue. Funiest thing from the sports weekend. Greg, I've been We're talking about this all season long. I dare you to tell me this is not the biggest story in the NFL this year. Yeah, that's right. Players punching each other during the game. It's not so funny anymore, is it, Tony? Yes, it is. Nobody's laughing at me. What? You see what happened? It's the funny thing in the sports weekend for you. You see what happened with a New York giant? Yeah, it's funny how stupid it is. It's funny how everybody doesn't see it except for me. That's why it's funny. The New York Giants were playing the Eagles, and two players, they didn't try to tackle the guy with the ball. They tried to punch the ball out. You know what happened? The Eagle ball carrier, he was slippery, and he got through. And what happened? The giant punched the other giant concussion. Concussion. Oh, friendly fire. Have you heard of it?

Friendly fire happens all the time.

They're punching each other.

Support the troops, Zaz.

He punched them out. There is no way this is not going to be outlawed after this season. You can't have players punching each other. If you want to punch the football, fine. But if you miss, you can't punch a player. It's going to be a penalty.

You're not playing the game right. This is the funniest thing from the sports weekend. I'm playing it perfect. It's funny, like this made me laugh.

It's funny how much smarter I am than everybody else.

Chicken shit. Chicken shit. Poop particles.

It's funny.

I sent Zazlo the video of that when I saw it, because I believe this has been undercover. This particular play was undercover. Devante Smith Smith catches the ball, and one giant tries to punch the ball and misses, but the other giant is also trying to punch the ball and hits the first giant in the head in a way that led to the concussion protocol. And it was just the way that you would hit somebody, square in the face. He just hit his teammate, square in the helmet, and I didn't think that would cause a concussion, but he hit him so hard, it caused a concussion.

He's having a Kyron Williams also. He got punched in in his head, and he fumbled on the goal line earlier this year. You think this is football? Yes. You don't know ball. What?

Yeah, that's right. I said it. No, you don't know ball.

It's been a long time somebody has said, I don't know ball. You ever heard of Tina Tillman?

You ever heard of Tina Tillman? Do you know peanut? Yeah.

And you know what? Tina TillmanIt perfected it.

It punched the ball. I know. These guys punched the ball, too.

He punched him in the head.

Friendly fire happens every play.

The peanut punch. I'm surprised none of you selected Jalen Brown's hair. I thought for sure that somebody was going to select Jalen Brown's hair. It was tough.

Yes. Can we show that? Is this your submission? No, it's not.

How is this not your submission? I've got a different submission. I've got three that I was choosing from, and this was my second-place finisher. My second-place finisher is Jalen Brown's hair.

I mean, since we threw up the image, that little smudge on the white jersey of the New York Knick player, that's Jalen Brown's hair. Yeah, he showed up with a brand new look, Beijing in that hair, and it rubs off on the defender.

Okay, now I get it. The white jersey.

Is that on a no be?

Greekian formula.

It's an all-time moment in my sporting life, given my obsession. Oh, my God.

It's so good. It is great. That was my second-place finisher. My third-place finisher was on third and 13 watching Joe Flacko run for a first down, run 15 yards for a first down. But my number one, my winner was Derek Jeter saying after game one of the World Series that Yamamoto threw a complete game. The last time he pitched, Yamamoto threw a complete game. He's not going to throw one tomorrow night. He's not, and then Yamamoto throws another complete game.

Yamamoto, that's a fine. Also, it happened again, the next game against the Pistons for Jalen Brown. So it wasn't just against Ananobi. It was the next game as well. He's got to change something with his hair, Mike. This has got to change. You can't keep letting this happen. If you're going to play against a team with white uniforms, you cannot continue to do this.

This is actually a great thing that he's doing if it's strategic. I'll put an elbow in you. I'll put a shoulder in you. I'll put my Beijing in you.

That should be a technical foul. When you rub your own hair on somebody else and it comes off on their uniform, it's just unbecoming. You can't have that in the NBA. It's the biggest scandal of the week. Forget the gambling. You don't want somebody else's hair smudged on your uniform? Ridiculum.

Another Oli, Justin Fields, with one of the worst jump passes I've ever seen in NFL history. He just got caught in the air, jumped up, and just was like, Oh, shit, and just threw it at the feet of some guy.

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Don Levatard. It's a Judge coach, sweetie. Stugatz. I Dino Cielo. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats. Let's talk about a couple of things from that game because Justin Fields is now 1-26 when the opponent scores 21 points. That's the first time that he has won a game when an opponent scores 21 points. He's on a roll. Joe Flacko put up 38 against the worst offense in the league and lost. The worst coaching staff in the league got 14 points in the fourth quarter or 15 points in the fourth quarter by correctly going for two the first time. And Justin Fields had an amazing play to get the two-point conversion. But the Jets finally winning a football game, going on the road, beating Cincinnati Cincinnati, hurting Cincinnati, because Cincinnati was just trying to get the season to Joe Burrow. And this is a crippling loss to watch the Jets who were in total chaos. The owner, no other team in the sport had the owner ripping its quarterback this season, saying he couldn't complete a pass. I thought that Tyrod Taylor would have started if he had been healthy. I thought Justin Fields would have lost that job and would have lost it forever, because Tyrod Taylor probably would have done similar things against that bangles run defense.

By the way, Matthew Berry continues to give away money around here. He told you to take both those runningbacks against the bangles defense, and both those runningbacks went crazy against the bangles defense. The Jets scored 30 nine points in that game and one, even though you go ahead and give me all the other teams that have won games with Brees Hall or a running back throwing the ball at the end from the goal line. That was a bad throw, too. No, but an asinine call in that situation. Just truly asinine to have that, to have Brees Hall. You're running the ball all game well, and you decide to have Brees Hall throw into coverage at the goal line? They converted it, but what a crushing loss for Cincinnati. The only close game yesterday.

It was one of those things of like, No, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, yes, Then throws it over the ball to Mason Taylor. Defender didn't even see him. Mason Taylor caught the countdown.

Mason Taylor first countdown.

But it was like, Oh, my God, that was a terrible call.

Let's play Justin Fields talking about Woody Johnson, the rare sports owner that has two names that refer to Penis. Woody Johnson is a clown. He's a professional clown. And what he did by speaking the other day made things worse for his team somehow, his 017 team. Here's Justin Fields talking about it after the game. Yeah, like I said, that's outside noise at the end of the day.

I get that he's the owner of the team, but that's outside noise. The biggest thing was my teammates believing in me and my coaches still believing in me. Wow.

Thank you, Justin. God.

That's actually inside noise. Yeah, it couldn't be more inside. It's not outside noise. But if I were Aaron Glenn, I would have thanked Woody Johnson for lighting a fire under Justin Field.

The fire lit.

How quick you were able to hear the background, the PR guy. All right, thank you, Justin. Immediately when we're talking about the other-That's my favorite thing.

All right, thank you, Justin. Last question.

Let's play it again. So we love doing that. We've had a number of times over the years where the PR guy saying, Okay, let's wrap this up, is right there. As soon as the Woody Johnson question appears, Yeah, like I said, that's outside noise at the end of the day.

I get that he's the owner of the team, but that's outside noise. The biggest thing was my teammates believing in me and my coaches still believing in me.

Thank you, Justin. God. Thank you.

Drake May, yesterday, was getting MVP chance in New England. I think what's going to end up happening here, Kansas City plays tonight, and And what's going to end up happening is we're going to get to the playoffs, and Mahomes is going to play against a whole bunch of quarterbacks that everyone is going to expect him to beat. It's going to be Bo Nicks. It's going to be Daniel Jones. It's going to be Drake May who might not be ready quite yet. The Colts are good, but the Chiefs, if I made that a payoff game tomorrow, everyone who's listening to this would assume that Daniel Jones will turn into Daniel Jones. Look, Tony, I understand.

I've been the biggest bandwagon guy for the Colts this year. Daniel Jones has unlocked something in his brain. I don't know what it is. Also, Jonathan Taylor, probably offensive player of the year. So good. But that team plays well offensively Defensively, defensively. We thought Shane Stecker was an idiot.

In fact, really good coach. That team is very good.

Team of Destiny, Ursay.

And they make it look very easy because the thing that Daniel Jones keeps doing is he's converting all these 20 hard passes where his guys are just wide open because he's just making the right play. And you have to respect all things Jonathan Taylor because he's really exceptional. But I want to talk about Drake May for a second because he He doesn't have the benefit that Sam Darnold has in Smith and Jigba in explosive plays. He doesn't have that wide receiver, and he's throwing the ball deep better than any quarterback in the league. So he's very close to ready. But the reason that Kansas City is going to be assumed by everyone listening to this to be able to get past all those other teams in the playoffs is because you don't respect the Herberts and the Bo Nixes and the Daniel Jones is enough to think that they're going to be able to beat Mahomes. That's what's going to happen in terms of perception.

It is crazy. I mean, Drake Mays' top receiver yesterday was Matt Collins. He threw for almost 300 yards, and his top receiver was Matt Collins. Tua had a good day yesterday, right? Yeah, threw over 202 yards. Drake Mays threw for 282.

It's not just that, though, Zaz. He's the third best running quarterback in the I think I'd put him right after Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. I think I would put him third.

I mean, you have Herbert, you have Jalen Hertz as well, but his ability to scramble is ridiculous. Chris, I have a really good Drake may stat.

Start of the day, start of the day. This year's start of the day. Start of the day, start of the day. This year's start of the day. Start of the day, start of the Per NFL Plus, Drake May joins an elite club with 200 passing yards and a 100 plus passer rating in seven consecutive games within a season at any age.

He joins Aaron Rodgers, who did it in 2011 and 2020, Tom braided in 2007, Payton Manning in 2004, and Patrick Mahomes in 2018.

That's it.

So Caleb Williams is the third best quarterback in that draft, right?

Drake May is going to be great for 10 years if he doesn't get hurt. That part is obvious. They haven't even started building in the draft around him in a way that gets him. That team does not- He has no weapons. I wouldn't say they don't have any weapons, but they don't have the weapons that usually are associated with the passing stats that he's putting up. He's throwing the ball down the field. You guys were just talking about conservative, right? You've heard me say before, as it relates to quarterback measurements that aren't empirical, do I fear you on third and 10? Do I fear that you're going to make third and 10 irrelevant? Mahomes at his best, third and 10 didn't matter. You were always thinking, Oh, you almost felt there was a funny thing that happened with the Chiefs at their best, where getting them in third and 10, You didn't feel like you necessarily succeeded on the first two plays because it was so hard to stop them on third down as well. Drake May down the field is doing things you shouldn't be able to do with those skilled guys. The Colts They're very good.

They're not in third and long very often, but they're very good on third and long, and you fear them on third and long. There aren't many teams you can say this of right now. Never mind. Josh Allen in previous incarnation, this Bill's offense is not the same on third and as the last couple of years of third and 10 Bill's offense. The idea that the Patriots now have an offense, they didn't even play well in the first half of that game. He didn't play that well because Miles Garrett had five sacks in that game.

It's got to be fun twice a year watching Drake May evolve, develop, trying to wrangle that division from Josh Allen.

Keishon Boody, to your point, Dan, that weapon over the last three weeks, 25-yard countdown, 29-yard countdown, 39-yard countdown, and 39-yard countdown. These huge plays coming from Jake May. Great throws. Great throws.

I was going to say, that's the thing of a quarterback that can lift all the tie, the tie that lifts all the boats. He's a guy that's looking around and said, Stefan Diggs is washed. Keishon Boody, Mac Holland, Austin Hooper is catching touchstones. The Ghost of Hunter, Henry's out there catching touchstones. They don't really have anybody. And that's why I asked Diana Racine last week, Hey, can they go out and get somebody in the market that's an alpha number one wide receiver? What could that look like? And she's like, That'd be really cool if they got Ajay Brown, but it's not going to happen.

Dan Levatard.

I want to address Tony and all men who would wear that shirt in public.

Stugatz.

Don't do it.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Dan, I'm happy you touched on Miles Garrett, to someone rescue this individual. I know he's making a lot of money.

Oh, no. I'm not going to let you do this. I was telling you that he should have demanded the trade. He did.

He doesn't get to do it. No, he doesn't get to do that. No.

And stick to it. Not make it a bluff that is for just money. He doesn't get to do that. No, no, no, No, no, no.

So he's trapped? Yeah.

Wait a minute.

You don't feel bad. Someone rescue the Mike. You know what his reaction to Micah Parsons being moved to Green Bay was? Like, wow, he did it. It's so hard to do that.

They would have traded Miles Garrett, except that he couldn't say no to the godfather offer, the same way that to Sean Watson didn't want to be there, and he couldn't say no to the godfather offer. That's Cleveland's move. Oh, you don't want to play here? Well, what if we give you all the money? Okay, fine. I'll take it. Miles Garrett wasn't serious about wanting to leave him winning. No, they offered him the money. It's like, Oh, so now you got to eat it.

You got to eat it now. This is so strange.

He had a nice restaurant.

So strange. Like, Okay, let's see where we're at this season. Let's rally around. We drafted two young quarterbacks. We got Joe Flacko. We made the playoffs with him. Miles Garrett is not going to think, Yeah, we're going to suck this year. I can't believe that you were all against- He clearly did think that. You're all against rescuing Miles Garrett. You're like, He had his chance.

You were against it when I said to you that he should actually mean it during the holdout. So it's his fault. He should have gotten... He's going to waste his career there. He's the best pass rusher there's ever been. He is the best pass rusher in the history of the league. He's faster to the number of sacks that he has than even Reggie White, before 30 years old, and he's going to waste his entire career there because he chose to take that money and not be serious about that holdout.

He said yesterday he would have given up those five sacks in one game for a Do we believe him? No. Yes. A five-sack game.

He didn't take it seriously. He hijacked the Super Bowl. He took it super seriously. That's why it's a godfather offer. You can't say no to it.

But if you do take that offer, you can't complain three games later.

I just can't believe that we're all like, Well, this one's on you. That's right.

You get to die in that town.

I'm actually putting it on you. You, not him. Me. You, Mike Bryant. Yes, because I remember when he held out or when he made the trade demand, I'm saying, stick to it, because he did have the power to get out of there, and he folded his cards.

I don't know what I had to do with it. I wasn't like, Don't stick to it. Yes, you were.

You know what you did? Yes, you were. What did I do? You did that. You know what you did. I don't think either of you know what I did. I know what you did. You don't remember it. That's why I won't allow you to do what you're doing right now. I didn't do shit. You did do that. I didn't do shit.

I saw you do it.

I remember you doing it. You're doing it right now. You know what you did. You did it before. You did it now.

Say what you did. Say what you did. That's what you did.

You're doing it right now.

Liar.

I didn't do anything.

He's still doing it.

I'm starting to believe you did something. I didn't do anything.

Why would you feel bad for Miles Garrett? It's self-imposed- Because he's a Cleveland Brown and he's done everything the right way. It's self-imposed exile. He wanted to be there and chase the money.

I'm a little stunned at the hostility.

I'm going to go fight. I'm going to- I don't understand this.

I'm tired of you doing what you're doing.

This is like when you're at a restaurant and your grandpa's getting older and he snaps his layers.

I'm going to dedicate my evening to finding the sound of when I told you he needs to stick to this, and you were out here arguing, No, he doesn't. It should be nice in Cleveland. Wait until he enjoys his time in Cleveland.

Nonsense. I was probably like, Man, this is a bummer. But I was like, Yeah, you deserve this because he wasted his career. In fact, I am certain I said, You deserve to lose this guy, Cleveland. I'm shocked that he's there. But also, Stop yelling at people.

I'm confused.

What are you guys confused about? He demands a trade, and then their response to that is, We're going to make you the highest paid person ever. And he took it. So he can't then, four games later, be like, No, I want to be out of here.

The difference is, a lot of times players demand trades like Michael Parsons, players demand trades because of a salary dispute. He didn't demand the trade. You're doing the You're doing the finger thing? See, you're doing it right now. You're doing the finger thing? You're doing it right now.

Like he crossed the line?

You are doing it. Yeah. Well, no, he didn't cross the line, but now he has to eat it. He demanded a trade in his own words because it's not a winning team, and he does not see a path to winning long term in Cleveland. Here's a lot of money. Okay, I'll stay.

He did cross the line, and now he has to eat it. He's on the sidelines. They took him out yesterday. You know why? He was yelling because he had five sacs, and he didn't want to come out of the game. He wanted more sacks. He wanted to stay in a game that was decided to see if he could have more sacs. That's a top five pick that was trying to block him unsuccessful. A top five pick who said, I will fight and die to protect Drake May. And then Drake May almost died because Miles Garrett was always in the backfield.

Just to be clear, You don't want him rescued. You don't want to see him playing games of import.

I wanted him rescued. He made a choice. You're changing your argument. We had it at the time, and I remember saying at the time when Miles Garrett demanded a trade, stick to your guns. You have real power here, real value. If you don't want to waste the entirety of your career in Cleveland, then you need to stick to your guns, and he did not.

I don't even recall a debate. I was like, Yeah, he's gone, and he This deserves to be gone. You did this to him. He should be angry. He should be hijacking the Super Bowl.

But then he took the money and stayed.

Yeah, but that was a huge stuner.

Six games later, he could just be like, I don't care anymore.

All right. Well, I don't think I don't want him to get a rescue boat. I don't think I want to tell him, Hey, You stay on the Titanic, Billy Zane.

You guys are acting like grunge bands that took record deals.

Like, Oh, he sold out.

So now he doesn't deserve the opportunity.

What is this?

He signed a contract that finally paid him what he's worth.

Yeah, by his choice.

Well, all I'm saying is someone rescue to him.

But he was never upset with his previous contract. That was never an issue. The issue, in his words, was, We can't win here. I want out.

Yeah. Well, that was a misstep, I guess. Capitulation. What do you Yeah, they're a bad football team.

You know what you did.

I think you know. You know now.

I just want them to see... Let's get them on the chargers. What do you say?

That's my angle. Wait until you see... I'm going to go through the archives tonight and produce this sound. You're going to be shocked by what you're arguing.

I bet you to go through those archives. I'm going to. I bet you to. How are you going to do that, Dan?

I'm going to. You want? I'm going to bring it in tomorrow.

I don't know how you're going to be able to find any of it.

No, because I'll just look at when he asked for the trade. I'll just look for the date and I'll find it.

And just go back and listen to all of the podcasts around there?

Not all of the podcast. Just when he was an insufferable. Oh, no, that's going to be hard to pin down. When he was insufferable.

This is remarkable. It's just crazy that the- You made this about me.

That the Browns are somehow a worse version of the Lyons. The Lyons made their two greatest players of all time, and Calvin Johnson and Barry Sanders retire early. But Joe Thomas and Miles Garrett are just going to play out their entire careers, and they're still going to be a terrible team at maybe the two most important positions in football outside a quarterback.

What a giant ways to see that guy have more sacks than Reggie White before 30 years old when he has so little help organizationally and on their defensive line. Not just organizationally, but it's not like he... I remember those Reggie White defensive lines, and while he was a menace in Philadelphia and Green Bay, he also had other people with him that were forsome forsums that were difficult. They are going to waste the entirety of Miles Garrett's exemplary, unprecedented career in Cleveland because he can get five sacks and they still get blown out by however many points they got blown out. And we're And it's, Drake May is getting MVP chance when that was Drake May being slowed in the first half of that game.

But I do think he's handling this like you're suggesting. He's sitting there eating it. He's not doing the bad employee thing. He's not asking for his way out. He's not doing a reversal.

You need to eat it, too.

I'm saying someone rescue him. I'm not saying Miles Garrett needs to make a mess of this. He's too classy to make a mess of it.

He was throwing his helmet and yelling at people on the sideline yesterday when he got removed from the game.

Sometimes it hit somebody else's head.

So six months ago, let's make him on a a deserted island. Let's make that Cleveland. In February, he's like, Somebody, help me. And then the Brown said, We're going to build you this big ass mansion there. So you're going to be happy here. It might stink here, but you're going to be super happy. And then he said, Yes. And then six games later, you guys are expecting to be like, I don't want to be in this mansion anymore.

No, I'm not expecting him to do that, nor do I think he's even capable of that because largely, in his time in Cleveland, has been very, very classy. I'm saying someone else realized there's a guy who's getting five sacks against a playoff team that is on a terrible team and he just needs to be rescued. Just someone rescue him. Because I would like to see Miles Garrett win. I would like to see Miles Garrett trying to get one of these all-world elite quarterbacks on the ground in games that matter. That's it. I'm a fan of the game. I love ball.

He had a chance to rescue himself, though, and he didn't. And after the fact, you're going, somebody rescue him when he had a chance to rescue himself. These are the breaks.

Can you guys look up for me what was being talked about at the time the Detroit Lions were talking about trading for him, and we were talking about how many draft picks that that would take, and the numbers were fairly extraordinary in what it is that we were talking about. Going back to yesterday's Jets-Bengals game, though, something I forgot to mention in Funniest Thing. I don't know if you guys notice this. So the Jets come back by scoring 15 points, two-point conversion, two touch downs. It's now 39, 38, and there are a little less than two minutes left. Joe Flacko left the field. Clearly, at that he had to go to the bathroom. There wasn't a bathroom on the sideline that he could go to. And so while the drama of the last two minutes of this game is playing out, I'm seeing him run to the tunnel, and I'm like, Is he injured? No, he'd be going to the blue tent. But look how he's running. Wait a minute. I saw how he ran on third and 15. Now he's Penguin running. That's a man who has to go to the bathroom. Joe Flacko left the field, and I just think it's because of age that you just three hours, four hours at that age, you got to go to the bathroom.

It's a long way, Dano. I saw it because I think it was either the touch on a two-point conversion, but the moment he runs into the tunnel and he's gone, they score automatically. So somebody must have ran in there and be like, Joe, they score.

We got to go. Let's go. And he's like, Oh, shit.

How do they not have one of those bougey Porta Pottys on the sideline?

They have to.

Well, because then 60,000 people know you're about to go take a dump.

They know when you're running off the field with dancing swords, the guy's sitting down to go.

I think you just say that.

Is that a thing? It's a thing. When you have dancing swords, your innards are gurgling.

I've been saying that my whole life. I know what you mean. I I don't know if anyone else-Put it on the poll at Levitard show, Do you know what dancing swords are?

It means you got to sit down to go, brother.

Is that what that bad feeling is? That's what you imagine? There's swords in there?

Just like dancing swords.

That's actually what it feels like.

Thank you. I ain't lying.

That is what happened, right? Joe Flacko, after four hours, simply had to go to the bathroom. He had dancing swords. But it's such an unusual time to do it because the Jets had just scored. He's doing the timing Well, they got to kick it off, and I got 10 minutes. Maybe he's one of those people who doesn't like Porta Potty because they do have... We have the story. Can you just get me the story of Larry Izzo getting a game ball from Bill Belichick because he pooped in a bucket on the sideline? Joe Flacko was not going to do that, although I would assume that somebody could go in the Blue Medical Tent. I think Joe Flacko is just a pristine pooper. He needs a clean bathroom. He's not going in public places.

I can find zero proof on the entirety of the internet of dancing swords, meaning anything having to do with poop.

Patent pending.

Dan, they even got Jake Browning to start getting up and throwing the ball. To just distract people. It's like, Oh, Flacko is going in. Then Browning's there like, All right, let's get a little warm up here. A little bit from that. All right, Joe scored.

Let's go.

Let's get the story of Zack Thomas telling us Bill Belichick gave Larry Isoa a game ball. I mean, he definitely got a game ball for going to number two on the sidelines during an Atlanta game this year.

I'll tell you that one.

He did what? Yeah, man, he went into a bucket.

So I thought that was a great story. He definitely got a number two in a bucket. It's a pretty amazing thing to do. I've never heard that in my life. He got a game ball for it. That's very impressive.

Greg, you think that dancing swords is your original thing?

I hope so.

Dancing swords copyright, mine.

I just...

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