Transcript of Hour 1: The Great Soda Debate of 2026 (feat. Jessica Smetana & Jorge Sedano)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

A lot to talk about with Jessica. We'll get to her in just a second, but Sedano has got just a couple of minutes here in between the show that he's doing in Los Angeles, does a very popular radio show every morning in Los Angeles. Sedano, your appraisal, your telling of the story standing next to me at the Vallée. Give the people the information from your vantage point. Okay, so we are coming back from lunch, you and I, a couple of days ago, and you tell me, Hey, can you give the ticket to the guy? I'm going to run to the restroom real quick. I said, Hey, no problem. So I give the guy the ticket. Guy orders the car. You come out, and you're about to give the guy a 20 because I think the valley was like 15. And the guy says, oh, man, we don't take cash. And you say, what do you mean you don't take cash? And he goes, you said, this is America, Jack.

Jack?

Money is good here in America still.

Cash is still good. And the guy literally says to you, Sir, this is my second day.

I'll call my boss. Hold on a second. He's terrified. And then the boss comes over on the phone. I guess he's talking to his bigger boss. And he's like, he says, Sir, we don't take cash. We do things digitally. And you're like, but this is America. What do you mean? Cash is still good in America. You're going to take my cash and you put the crispy $20 on the stand and then turned around and looked at me and I'm mortified. I don't know what's happening here.

I thought, I was like, I thought you knew the guy.

And the guy's like, okay, sir, well, let me figure this out. And don't worry. And you're just telling him, it's America. Cash is still good in America. And I'm standing there going, what the hell is happening And he's being super polite.

He's like, All right, sir, we'll figure it out.

And then he gets off the phone with, I guess, his boss, this is the second guy, and says, Okay, sir, here's your car.

Don't worry about it. We'll deal with it.

So he's then taking the cash and then paying for your parking himself with some digital payment, whether it's Venmo or Zelle or something like that. And then we get in the car and you say to me, It was okay, right? I was like, Yeah, it was okay, I guess. Yeah, it was It wasn't too bad. Inside, I was in my head going, Dan, what the hell did you just do? I also believe I did say, Cash is still good in America for now. I believe I said for now. You did add for now. There was that caveat. Yes, that's correct. We got to the Trump card.

How many times did you tell them it's America?

I didn't say Jack. I didn't say... I might have said Jose. I didn't say Jack. That's Cody's move. I wouldn't steal the move. No, thank you.

I have a patent on that.

That's Cuban embellishment from Sedano. All right, Sedano, thank you. Okay, very slightly. Slightly, Cuban embellishment. But Dan, there's a Reddit page called Am I the A-Hole? A lot of people put up different scenarios of two sides of the coin.

I would say that if the ballet crew put up Am I the A-Hole here?

They would say you were the a-hole in that scenario. How about you? Where does your vote land? I was just an innocent bystander. I don't know what the hell to do.

It feels like he thought you were the asshole.

Okay, but where do you land? Do you vote on I'm the asshole? I love you, but you're the a-hole here in this area. Okay, thank you for being on with us. Jessica, Where do you vote here? I saw your faces. You were making faces. You were saying, I shouldn't have done that. There was not a Jack there. There might have been one, This is America. I don't think there were four, this is Americas.

I put a little bit of blame on Sedano just for being a bad friend, because when you get back in the car after that scenario, that's when he has to be honest with you and say, Dan, this behavior was a little embarrassing, not very acceptable, and next time we'll do better.

He could have also paid while I sent him out to the bathroom. I mean, I paid for lunch. He could have taken... He's got a card. He could have paid. He makes money.

Another point against Sedano.

I don't know.

Maybe you're both the a-hole.

Can you take us through you watching the ending of the national championship game?

I can take you through the whole game, which I watched a combo of the Skycast and the Coach's Film Room, Dan. I don't know if you guys recall, but Coach's Film Room, probably four years ago, was the first time that the Jimbo Fisher character made an appearance on this show because he was in the Coach's Film Room with, I believe, members of his staff at Texas A&M. And man, it was just... It was such a fun watch with Jimbo. So I dabbled in a little bit this year to see how it would go with Mike Gunde, Dave Klaussen, Jean Chiswick, and Steve Adazio. I know Lucy. Dave Klaussen, not your favorite guy. This is also a a weird bunch of coaches, but I enjoyed it. One flaw, though, they kept They were two in the weeds on Coach's film room doing replays. I liked the information they were giving me, but they kept showing replays while there were stuff happening in the game. And I was watching with my best friend who went to Indiana, and she was screaming at me and her husband to put it back on Skycast because we kept missing stuff.

So then we put it on the Skycast, which was awesome for most of the types of plays you'll see in a football game. However, the blocked punt, Skycam was way on the other side of the field. We had no idea what was going on. We missed the whole thing. And then we put it back on the regular ESPN broadcast for a little bit. And then for the end of the game, we're back on skycast, and the interception was awesome on skycast because you just saw it coming the whole way. So anyways, I love the simulcast for the National Championship game. And now I wish we had it for every game. I wish I could do a Sunday ticket with a Skycast component and watch the Skycast of all of the NFL games I want to watch on a Sunday because it's so peaceful and it's so awesome, and you get to see so much more of of the lines of scrimage, and I just really enjoy it, Dan.

Jess, so obviously, I was at the game, I didn't get to watch. Did you get to see the Dr. Pepper commercial?

Yes. Lucy, I was like, Wait a second. Was that the jingle? And then I posted about it on Blue Sky, and someone was like, I don't know why they didn't wait until the Super Bowl. And I was like, You know what? That's a good point. That would have been a good time to unveil it. But I know Dr. Pepper and College Football and ESPN have a whole thing. So anyways, what did you think about that? I thought it was actually a great surprise.

I was devastated that I missed it. So for those of you who don't know, there was this girl on TikTok, and she said, Hey, I have an idea for a jingle for Dr. Pepper, and she just sang this little song. And everyone was like, You know what? Pretty good jingle. And then we thought we would never hear about it again. And then I get notifications during the game Monday. They're like, Hey, they put the jingle in a commercial. Now Dr. Pepper has teamed up with this girl from TikTok who sang this song. If you're online, you know it was a really big deal. But you guys don't seem to care that much.

Dr. Pepper, baby, it's good and nice.

It's so good. Like, isn't that a great jingle? And so we were so shocked. It was a very big deal.

Cody just voted that girl into the Hall of Fame.

I did. Shit, what a great song.

You have given me some ideas.

It's Fantastic. Jess, I wanted to get more to the emotion of what you were feeling Monday night, because to a lot of Notre Dame fans, I'm guessing Miami is the team that bumped you out of the playoff. It had to be. How thrilled were you that Miami Miami not only lost, but lost the way they did. I don't want to put words in your mouth.

Yeah, you did, and that's okay. I don't really feel like Miami did bump Notre Dame. I feel like Alabama bumped Notre Dame, to be honest with you. So when they got their asses handed to them in the Rose Bowl, I felt a little bit of, okay, cathartic. But to be honest with you, Greg, it's been, I don't know, how many weeks since the last regular season college football game that I watched. I moved on to next year when it comes to Notre Dame. So I was just fully enjoying the game. I All I was rooting for was a good football game. And when it was only 10: 0 at halftime, I was like, I think this is going to be a good football game. And I think the stop that Miami had coming back from the half when Indiana got the ball to start the second half was huge. And then it just, from that point forward, it felt like a real game. So I was really happy that we got a great end to the season with it. And to be honest with you, didn't really care too much who won. Although, like I said, I was watching the game with my best friend who went to Indiana.

So after Indiana won, I I realized how happy I was to experience that with her. It was really nice. It was a lot of fun.

Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, The Echoes with Mike Kolic, Mike Kolic Jr. Kolek. One of the things that I thought was interesting about the game is the Indiana offensive lineman after the game saying, Look, we knew that defensive line was good, but holy shit. So what you end up getting in that game is that Indiana really has only two shutdown drives, one aided by multiple Miami penalties, the other aided by two fourth-down calls that were exceptional. So you get basically two shutdown drives from Indiana. There were a lot of things that happened in that game that I thought Miami would have settled for before the game, would have wanted the game to play out that way, but they lost it anyway.

To be fair, there were also a couple of drives where the refs were letting them play. That could have been extended by penalties, especially the one early on with the late hit on Mendoza. But yeah, I think Bill Connolly's postgame win expectancy metric is something I usually look at just as an indicator on what really is going on with some of the stats in the games. And if you played this game 100 times, what's the outcome going to be? And I think Indiana's postgame win expectancy was only 14 % after that. And the block punt is a huge swing in a game like that, because if you looked at first half statistics, I think Indiana was offensively just doing a lot better, playing their game a lot better. Miami's defense, obviously, had a player that was out because of the targeting penalty, and that helped after the second half started. But Miami's defense was playing well, but they weren't... I will also criticize Indiana and Miami both with their second half, like end of half clock management. Miami settling for the long field goal there, and then Indiana had a chance to get in the field goal range and let some time wind down, which I thought was strange.

So only 10 to zero. But Indiana has often played better in the first half. And then the second half, I thought, if you look at any of the success rate EPA per play, any of those statistics, Miami ended up playing overall throughout the game, had a much more successful offense in the game. So I think, I don't know if you say tail of two-halves or something like that. But that's why getting those first half points was really important for Indiana, and then having the blocked punt was a huge, huge swing in that game. And I posted this online while I was watching it, but the drive at the end when Indiana had fourth and four and had to... Well, the false start was unfortunate. One of the worst-timed false starts ever, possibly. But Indiana had to make a decision. If they were going to kick a field goal, go up six, or try to get a first down, try to score, go up seven. And I, to be honest, was pretty critical of that decision to kick the field goal there because I don't think going up six gets anything for you. So I felt like everything was going right for Miami to come back and score the winning countdown.

And unfortunately, the interception happened at the end. But yeah, and it That game, things like block punts really, really matter, Dan. And things like false starts really, really matter.

I was worried about that kid's future and how haunted he was going to be if they lost that game for false starting in that situation. The Steeler's Coaching Search, when you say Mike McCarthy McCarthy. How do you feel about the Steeler's coaching search?

Did you guys see this photo that Tom Pelacero posted on his social media with a the whole thing about Mike McCarthy? Okay, if you zoom in, this is an AI-generated image. If you zoom in on Mike McCarthy's right ear, there's just a cigarette floating up there. It makes me so angry.

We put the cigarette on on the side of his head and it just stuck there. That happens to every Pitzberger, don't you know that?

Sometimes it does. That's true. I would love if there was just a pierogi sticking out of his ear, too, Dave. But yeah, so the AI slop image aside, this would He's really the most unstealers-like hire of all time. So I just don't believe that this is going to happen. Dave, I need to know what you think. I just don't. There's no part of me that can believe that this is actually a reality that we're living in right now. Mike McCarthy is going to coach his hometown team, and Aaron Rodgers is going to come back for a year. We're getting the gang back together. I do not believe this.

First of all, I don't want to be overly formal, but please, it's National champion, Dave Damosheck. But Yeah. The idea that it's because the Steelers players, including their leadership, obviously, their tenured guys, Cam Hayward and T. J. Watt, want to run it back with Mike McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers is not a reason to run it back. Does everybody realize that they have not won a playoff game? That's why Mike Tomlin is out now. Who cares what their wishlist is? This era needs to be purged. They need to see if they can figure out a to move on from TJ Wat.

Yeah, it's just weird. It's a weird report that's been out there, and the cigarette in the ear just made me believe it was all a farce.

How about Marcus Freeman, though?

Yeah, he was He has six times in his press conference last week if he wanted to coach in the NFL, and I don't believe he does right now. And he already tweeted that he was coming back for the year. Certainly doesn't seem to be operating in the way that he would leave. But I also think Someone like Chris Shula does just make a lot more sense. Even Nate Chillehouse makes a lot more sense. It's going to be one of those, too, Jess. Yeah. I think that would be wise. I think you need to inject some youth there and just start over with things. And please don't bring back Aaron Rodgers.

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Dan Levatard. I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life. Stugatz.

Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God may us all rest in peace.

This is the Don Levatard show with the Stugatz. Your thoughts here on William Shatner, 94 years old driving in his car while clearly eating cereal.

I'm with National Champion Dave Damoschack. I've eaten rotisserie chicken in the car. I've had ribs in the car. I've done it all in the car, really. So this is nothing to me.

Wow, maybe.

Ribs in the car. Put it on the poll at Lebitard Show. Have you ever eaten a rotisserie chicken in the car? Have you ever eaten ribs in the car? Zazlo just left because- Have you done it all in the car? Have you done it all in the car as well? Zazlo will not eat finger food. He will not eat something like ribs, even though ribs are a universal- You think he's too good for finger food? He is. He does think he's too good for finger food. We're going to go to him in a second in the eating area because we've got a new sponsor, a great new sponsor, White Castle, and he's going to give us a take- Sliden it. A microwave to take. He's got the microphone. Does the microphone already work? He's just gotten into position. You can explain to Jess yourself, Zaz, if the microphone works, why it is you won't eat anything with your hands. You've never had ribs, correct?

I mean, I had them, but it got to a point when I was younger where this is not worth the trouble. I don't like eating food that makes me super messy, all right? You get it all over your hands. It's all over my face. I look like an idiot. To me, I'm not trying to take a bath after I have dinner, all right? No, I don't do ribs. It doesn't taste good enough to me to go through trouble. Sorry, not sorry.

Jessica, you got any thoughts on that as a prolific a significant ribs-eater.

You don't eat wings?

Wings I have softened up to. I've started eating wings again. Wings, I think, are light ears better than ribs.

There's a nerd with his silverware. Whatever.

Taste better or you mean mess factor? Wings are very, very good. Yeah, both. But barbecue ribs are the number one. Not for me, player. I'm a Zaz. If it's time for you to be put down by the man of capital punishment Your final meal should be barbecue ribs. No, I'm team Zaz. Ribs way worse than wings.

Put it on the poll at Levitard. Show wings or Ribs. Just go ahead and pick. Again, I will tell you, Mike Kolic Jr, The Echoes. She does a weekly Notre Dame podcast. Always nice to see you, Jess. Thank you for being on with us. I appreciate it. She said a bunch of words, but- I think she said, We'll talk about heated rivalry next week. Okay. I'm going to get that right? I couldn't read her lips because it was quiet. I have been remiss and We're not promoting a couple of things that Greg Cody is involved in. First of all, there's the Greg Cody podcast featuring Greg Cody.

Greg Cody Show with... Thank you.

The Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody is a podcast. Where are you right now on catchphrases? You're doing your top 50 catchphrases of all time. Chris Cody apologized earlier. Please. Pardon me. No, do that seven or eight more times.

When you're doing a bit 25 weeks in a row, unveiling two sayings every week, They can't all be winners. And this was the first week for me. It's the third week doing it, the first time where I was like, Okay, not as great as the first week.

They can all be winners. Choose only winners. He won't let me have a say. You don't have to do top 50 catchphrases when your dad doesn't have 50 catchphrases.

These were numbers 46 and 45. I invite people to listen to the podcast and find out. Give one. I forget what they were, to be honest.

That is insane. Is They all can't be winners, one of them?

No.

You don't know. You I'm not going to promote your podcast.

I literally don't remember.

Great. So also- That is insane.

No, in Greg's defense, his mind is fuller than. So I was right. They weren't good.

Thank you. Was that one of them or was that the one before?

That was number 50. It was 50. Greg, how do you have no recollection of the things you're doing on your show?

I didn't expect to be asked. Do you remember every single little thing you say?

No, but you tell me every week, Don't forget to promote my podcast. Every week, you're like- No.

The weeks you don't do it, I don't say a word. Mom's the word.

That is in no way true. Mom is not the word. Yeah, Mom is the word. That's not in any way true.

That's what my mom told me. Christopher, do you remember the names?

I at least admitted that I didn't like them.

This is great promotion. I know. The way that you do things- Let's all listen to it together to figure out what they were. What are you doing with Ron McGill this weekend?

Ron and I are doing a book thing at the Miami Dade Public Library main branch on Flagler. Those of you from South Florida who want to come say hello to Ron and I and get a signed copy the book, feel free. I believe it starts at 1: 30 PM at the library. So we'll see you there Saturday.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Are you surprised that there are still libraries? Let's go out to Zazlo here Chris Cody, and a new sponsor that we're excited about. Who doesn't love White Castle? Oh, my God, Dan.

I had two yesterday. If you talk about a sponsor that just brings me back, White Castle, and we're doing Bet the Castle, which is presented by White Castle. Hunger says eat, cravings say eat this. With White Castle, 100% beef, grilled onions, melty cheese, and steamy bun that hold it all together. How can you not? Crave thy Castle. Zazlo, what do you got? I got White Castle right here. It looks like the flavor I got is Chetter, Bacon, Cheese. But let me also tell you guys, I'm going to do this in 60 seconds here, all right? But let me also tell you, I got some action tonight, all right? You know about that action, guys? I know about that action. Let me tell you about that action. Tonight, I like the Brooklyn Nets. Why do I like the Brooklyn Nets tonight? Because they're playing the New York Knicks, all right? And the New York Knicks right now are a total disaster. They've lost nine of their last 11 games, and the nets are getting 11 and a half points. I think Mike Brown for the Knicks could be on the verge, maybe losing the team, guys.

And if they lose at home at the garden to the stupid nets, oh, boy. I mean, at New York Media, I don't know if you know about the media there, Dan. You know about that media? They're a little bit tough, all right? So I like the Brooklyn Nets tonight. I'm going to roll with them plus 11 and a half because the Knicks are a disaster. Rare time where a coach gets fired in Thibodeau, and then they bring in a new coach. And before even halfway through the year, he's lost the team. It seemed like a thing they were doing for the players. It's weird, Zaz. Yep, absolutely. And apparently, I don't know if you saw a few days ago, that game against the Warriors, a game that the Warriors beat the Knicks, Draymon Green. Remember, he called Carl Anthony Town soft for missing a game for a funeral, and then he committed a flagrant foul on him in that game, very dirty. Mike Brown is hogging and kissing Draymon, not just during the game, but also after the game. Bad look. Time. Oh, I want that burger. Did you put two in there? Because I want one.

Hold on, though. I'm a little worried about this. Zazel, please be careful because that's a small burger. You put a small, nice, delicious White Castle burger in there, and I think a minute is a little too long in terms of the amount that you would need it. We go learn.

It was perfect. We go learn. That looks so good. Oh, it's hot. He's kidding. White Castle. White Castle is so good.

Perfect.

It's so good. God, do I love White Castle? 60 seconds just right. You put a little thing of ketchup on the side. I'm dipping every bite in ketchup. Doesn't even need it. Totally flavorful without anything on it on. Pro's pro move with the white castle. You don't have to put the condiments on it. You eat it as is, you dip. It's a dipping vessel. Excellent. Give me one of those right now.

Zazel, what else will you not eat with your hands? You're an unusual eat, or there are any number of things you've said on the show you have not or would never eat. Olives are one of them, right?

You've never had- I've never even had an olive. But I could tell Dan, when I look at a food, even if I've never had it before, I could tell if I like it, and I don't like olives. That is some crazy shit.

What else? Do you have any other peculiarities when it comes to things that you simply will not eat with your hands?

They're like certain beverages that I've never even had. I've never had root beer. I have no idea what it tastes like. Oh, it's so good. You're missing it.

I It's not that good.

I don't think I would like it. No, you're crazy. I know. I know what I like. We should have him on mystery crate to try root beer.

Put it on the poll. Have you ever had Dr. Pepper?

No, never.

What? There's 23 flavors.

No idea what it tastes like. I don't know. Whatever.

Living my life. You don't feel like you're missing anything.

How's that White Castle, though? Man, that looks good.

Sure does.

At Lebitard Show, please, do you trust anyone who has never had root beer, olives, or ribs? Yes.

No, I don't.

You can't trust that person. These are normal things to eat, and you can't be so close-minded that you can decide before eating olives that you'll never like olive.

I ate my first olive about a decade or so ago because growing up, every olive I ever saw was one of the green kind with the red thing. I thought that looked unnatural and unseemly. It wouldn't pass my lips. I've learned as a grown up to enjoy the olive. However, I remain resentful of the fact that after you eat it, you have to spit. That's gross.

Jeremy has root beer on him. Yeah, I do.

To spit out the pit. I drink A&W zero sugar root beer. I'll get that zero sugar. It is like a fiend. Even for that matter, in my Publix, there's clearly one other A&W zero sugar root beer person because sometimes I go there totally sold out of all of it, or it's totally full, which means me and one other person in my Publix are the only two people to drink it. That's what it has to be. But I have it with me right now, Zaz, if you want to try it.

Zero sugar is not where he should start. He shouldn't start with zero sugar.

No, it is just as sweet and delicious as any other root beer. You guys are clearly not root beer connoisseurs. You don't understand. I'm drinking this on the daily. Sometimes multiple.

Root beer feels like a thing you can only have once a year. That's crazy. I feel like root beer is like you're at the fair or something.

How about this? My favorite candy? Root beer, jelly beans.

Like a diner or something, you get a root beer. But I don't think root beer is something that is consumed by the reader.

It's a candy, right, Lucy?

Yeah, I feel like- Root beer flows. Yeah, I associate it with a float, so it feels like a special occasion, but I don't like it, so I'm not going to have it on any occasion. But it doesn't feel like a daily thing.

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Don Levatard.

He seems like a not nice guy, and he's always been a not nice guy. I don't care for him, and I hope he has the day he deserves.

Oh, wow. Stugatz. I hope he has the day he deserves.

That's how I get people when they're really mean to me. I'm not like, go F yourself. I'm like, I hope you have the day you deserve.

I think it's so much like a twist of knife. It's a great kind insult. Yes.

It's beautiful.

It's leaving it to the Cosmos to sort it out.

That's a less Southern, bless your heart. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Put it on the poll, please, @LevatardShow, does root beer have anything to do with whether you're cultured or not? Also, I think you've got this wrong, Jeremy, because I think I could say this as an absolute without any dilutors. None of the no sugar stuff tastes as good as the stuff with sugar. None of it.

When's the last time you had a zero sugar? I think that's false. You're crazy. It took zero. It's just as delicious. It's just a different type of flavor. You just like it. You're Exactly. You just said it. It's a different flavor that you enjoy. It's just a sweet. It's delicious. If you try a root beer and a root beer with zero sugar, you're missing out. If it was their best, they would come out the gate with the zero sugar. This is a new age in America. Any time a food or a drink is invented, the O. G. Flavor is always the best. That's why I only eat the original pop tart. That's like saying a rotary phone is better than a cell phone. The original pop tart with no icing, none of that BS, and it's just the strawberry flavor. That's the only pop tart I eat. That's the best one. We're supposed to listen to this guy. To double down, Zaz and I, once again, in the same garage with our cars. I don't know. Dr. Pepper is a flavor. Cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper. What the hell are we doing? I thought you were already a made-up flavor, Dr. Pepper.

I don't believe that Jeremy has had a take that is more wrong, more obviously wrong- It's so wrong. Than stuff without sugar tastes just as good as stuff with Sugar.

No, I think Jeremy's right in this case. I'll give you a quick example. Diet Coke, much better than Coke. No.

That's so true. Diet Coke is way better than Coke. I know these are popular things. We are the same. But what I will say is Diet Coke and Coke don't taste the same. They taste the same. It's a different flavor. My issue is, I get it, we want to be healthier as a society. I think that's awesome. But quit trying to tell me it tastes as good. Just say it's a little bit grosser. Say, Hey, this is sugar-free. It's not going to taste as good. Don't tell me, Oh, it's exactly the same. It's not. It is not the same. But Diet Coke is significantly better than Coke. But it's a totally different flavor than regular Coke.

I can understand if you arrive at the opinion that you love the flavor of Diet Coke.

More than anything in the whole world.

The only way that you can arrive at that opinion is if you haven't tasted Coke. No, I switched.

I've tasted both.

I switched. I was a Coke person, and then one day I woke up and said, I think Diet Coke sounds nice. And my life has literally never been the same. I reach for that fridge cigarette every day.

Chris Cody just whispered to me, agree to disagree, and I will not. I will not agree to disagree. I hate agreeing to disagree.

It doesn't seem like we're going to get anywhere here with this.

It just seems like I'm arguing the most obvious thing. The people who invented Diet Coke would not argue that Diet Coke tastes better than Coke. Nobody listening to this who craves or likes sugar is going to tell you that Sugarless things taste as good. Sugarless gum is a failure. Anything that is less sugar is less. It tastes less sweet. And Diet Coke, if you've had Coke, tastes like a diluted A muddied version of Coke, where I'm reminded with the aftertaste. Oh, this is a pale facsimile that I'm having only because it's ostensibly healthier.

You're dancing for the man when you start talking about Diet Coke being better than sugared Coke. What the hell is this conversation?

Put it on the poll, please, @Levitar Show. Are you dancing for the man if you think that Diet Coke is better tasting than Coke? Lucy is disgusted with us right now.

Dan, when you refer to the people who invented Diet Coke, you need to call them by their proper name, which are heroes. They have changed my life. I'm not saying that Diet Coke... Diet Coke is better than Coke, but I don't think it's a substitute for Coke. I think Coke Zero is a substitute for Coke. But Diet Coke and regular Coke have very different flavors. And do not even get me started when I go to a restaurant and I say, Hey, I'll have a Diet Coke, and this is Diet Pepsi, okay? No. Bring me a water.

Shampoo is soap, and soap is shampoo. And the shampoo maker said, Look, all the dupes of society are buying this liquid soap and rubbing it in their hair. Maybe we can double down on it and create another thing for them to rub into their hair, and we'll call it conditioner. And Now we have conditioner. Everybody caught on after a decade or three that conditioner is unnecessary. Then all the conditioner maker said, We have warehouses overflowing with this crap. What are we going to do with it? We can't spawn it off on the dupes anymore. Oh, I know what we'll do. We'll make shampoo and conditioner combo in the same container so you have no choice in the matter. And now everybody just keeps rubbing the shampoo and conditioner into their hair, never even considering that this is all the man having his way with you once again. Fair and double fa. You really looked like a Muppet there.

I liked that after the show yesterday, I saw people trying to create a physical Muppet character of Dave Damosheck. I need to attack some of these things one at a time here, okay? Because the root be your conversation is an interesting one. You either like... There There are two kinds of people in the world, people who like the flavor of root beer, love the flavor of root beer, and people who will not have root beer. I don't have once a year root beer. You either like that flavor or you don't like that flavor. But I legitimately have not heard it argued, okay? Because I know that Chris Cody has a problem with his dad. His dad, historically, either has beer or Diet Coke for as long as I've known him. Or coffee. Doesn't drink water. It's just beer or Diet Coke will not consume water.

He's gone more towards coffee Coffee and beer. He's eliminated the Diet Cokes a little, but it's those three. Coffee, Diet Coke, and beer.

I've literally never heard anyone make the argument that sugar-free stuff in any realm tastes even like stuff with sugar. Never mind liking it better. I thought it was as close as you could come to consensus that people would tell you that if something is sugarless, the reason you're doing that is not because it tastes better, it's because you're trying to be healthier. It's never because it tastes better.

No. First of all, nobody who ever has known me well has accused me of trying to be healthier. So that's not it.

I tell him to drink more water, and he says there's water in coffee.

And in beer, beer is mostly water. That's why I drink a lot of it. I got to get my water. No, Diet Coke tastes better. When I taste a regular Coke, which I do occasionally, if I have to, regular Coke tastes thick. It's syrupy. It leaves an aftertaste. It's just awful. I don't care about the calories. I'll drink a can full of 110 calories. I don't like the flavor and the thickness and the sweetness. Sugar is overrated. If I drink a coffee, I like it very lightly sweetened. If you put four or five sugars in this coffee, I can't drink it. I'll pour it right out because it's too sweet. Too sweet is better than not sweet enough. Take it to the bank.

I don't think I've ever had Diet Coke before.

Oh, my God, you're missing it.

I don't drink soda, so I don't think I've ever had Diet Coke. To me, it tastes like flat Coca-Cola. No. No.

No. You're crazy. It's like a totally separate flavor. Have you guys tried the healthy sodas, the Ollie pops and Poppies? No. They're very popular with the Genzy girlies. Some of them are really good They have a ton of fiber in them. Some of them taste like the worst thing I've ever had in my entire life. They taste like cough medicine, but it's actually a pretty good alternative. A fiber?

Who wants fiber in their drink?

Yeah, there's a lot of fiber in some of these drinks. Yeah, they help you go bathroom if you need it. You're welcome, folks.

All I'm saying about the Rootbeer Zero Sugar is of the Zero Sugar sodas, it's the one that tastes the closest to the original. I'll hear you on that. Look, Coke Zero, trying to be a replacement for Coke, is different than Diet Coke. Diet Coke, its own flavor. Coke Zero, an alternative flavor for your Coke when you're trying to be healthier, like Dan has said. But it's not quite the same flavor. With root beer, when you go Rootbeer Zero Sugar, it is the closest you get to Rootbeer. We got it. And I'm saying this as a root beer connoisseur. Can we make you look up something? I have no idea what A&W stands for. It's like a name. Yeah, it's got to stand for something, right?

It has to. Initial. They have A&W restaurants. Yeah. What does A&W stand for?

It's always an ampersand. It's never the word and.

We all know Arby's is R-B, right? Roast beef. What? Really?

Shut up. You just blew my mind.

Are you vibing?

What?

Are you telling the truth?

Yeah, no, it's true. I am. Also, The baseball glove on the brewer's hat is an M&M beef. Milwaukee. Everyone knows. That one I knew. Not everybody knows that.

Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Did you know that Rbees was the initials for roast beef, because I did not know that. Is A&W the most popular of the root beers? Is that the thing that you associate- It's the Cadillac.

Yeah, they own the name.

It's A&W, but there's also Barks and there's Mug. Now, to me, Barks and A&W, they stand above Mug for sure. But it depends on which place you go. Honestly, Barks ends up there more often because I believe it's a subsidiary of the Coca-Cola products, which is why you end up getting Barks in restaurants more often. I'm not sure where A&W stands.

I have the answer right here. I just looked up ANW stands for its founders, Roy Allen and Frank Wright. 1922.

Thank you. Put it on the poll, please, as well. At Lebitard Show, is conditioner a grift that dupes idiots brought to you by big soap?

No. Conditioner serves a purpose.

So smooth after.

Shampoo is to clean, and you can do different types of shampoo. You can do clarifying or dandering roof or whatever you're looking for for your hair. Conditioner is to help put the moisture back in because you've just washed all the oil out of your hair. Conditioner is how I have this beautiful thick hair. Dupes.

It's all a scam. Most of what Dave said was absolutely correct, and I would add one more layer to that. National champion, Dave. Yeah, sorry. I would add one more layer to that, which is, don't call soap bodywash. It's soap. I don't care if it's in a container and I'm squirning it. It's soap. It's not body wash. That's a made-up phrase that just means soap, and it's supposed to sound fancier and more upscale than soap. Dupes, like you said.

It's liquid soap.

What about shower gel? How do you feel about that?

It's the same. It's the same scam. Soap, soap. You have a bar of soap, you put it under your arm pit, you move on. That's it.

It's soap. Beep, beep, make room in the garage, Zaz. We got a third car pulling in. Thank you.

Let's go.

Did you just say be soap? Soap, be soap. Be soap.

It's one of the classic. It's perfect. Soap is soap. Be you.

I'm more focused on the put it under your arm pits and move on. Is that all we're doing with the bar of soap?

The Coties famously do not wash their legs. Chris Coties. What?

Yeah, he takes a bath in the pool.

That's disgusting.

That's crazy.

That's really gross.

Greg Coties washes his hair in the pool. That's why he looks like Steve Banning.

Every other person.

I don't I can't really wash under my armpits.

You know the soap falls down and goes over your legs, guys.

Yes, thank you. When's the last time you had dirty knee? What are you bent on your knees in the garden doing work? Nobody has dirt on their knees. Unless you're bending over doing labor in the garden.

Playing soccer, your granddaughter. Yeah, but there you go. Dirty knees.

Yeah, but there you go. You wash the knees. But if the knees don't wash using, I look at my legs. If my legs are dirty, I wash.

If the knees don't wash using. He just screwed up. He's fine.

Thank you. If I look at my leg and it's dirty, I wash it. If there's no visible dirt, it's unnecessary to wash your leg.

Chris Cody is famously bad at hygiene. He learned it from his father.