Transcript of Hour 1: Mike & Dave Got Everything Wrong (feat. Dave Dameshek & Matthew Berry)

This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stugats podcast.

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Roy, why are you laughing?

Oh, Jeremy jinked him.

I was, Hey, good read. It's a long read.

Are you still a nervous reader, Chris?

I think I'm actually... Remember Sheets and Giggles?

I mean, I've come a long way. Okay, so you were on with Damoshek. You and your father were on with Damoshek, and this has only happened a couple of times around here. It's a very good show, Football America. It's a new Metal Art production. I've enjoyed what Damoshek is doing. But Warren Sharp, we had him one time to sell his wearers around here, and every single thing that he picked went wrong that week. I think he went 0. 14 or 0. 16 and gave listeners a discount because he was so ashamed. His information is great. That day, he got everything wrong. I'm sitting here telling everybody how good this podcast is with Damosheck, and you and Mike Ryan and RFK, you got every game wrong. Your information was good, your analysis was good, but you got every single game wrong, the two of you.

I knew facts matter.

Look, Dan, there are a lot of football teams out there. We picked the wrong ones on this day. Look, listen, Bobby Jr. And Boomer and Boomer, Berman.

Wait a minute. That was Berman. That was not RFK. He was doing-No, no, no.

Keep up. It was RFK and boom.

I saw on the show was RFK and Boomer, but we haven't established the show here. And so he just did Berman, and people thought he was doing RFK.

That sounded like a bad RFK, I'm not going to lie.

People were going to think he was doing RFK.

He was doing boom.

Teej, look, you got the New York Jets, you got the Buffalo Bills, you got the New England... Look, there are a lot of teams in the AFC East, but the Miami Dolphins are truly atrocious. Back on the Blitz.

That's Patrick Mahomes, and you're back on the blitz. Crutch didn't save it at the end.

That was not Berman. It always saved it. It may not sound like him, but it sounds like the words he would say.

No, but when he said no, that's the thing, though. You don't know it's totally Berman until he says back on the blitz. That's right. And he doesn't have any other moves.

It's a very little bit- I just got to say, listen, the rainbow emotions down there in Miami right now. First of all, I know Roy is happy because there are Sydney Crosby trade rumors afoot there? I don't think there's any credibility to any of them. But on the other hand, I come on here on a Friday morning and Dan starts out coming at me. I'm the one who's raw. No one there knows who Leah Thompson is. All the right moves. Red Dawn. I mean, Caroline in the City, what gives?

You opened your podcast with a movie from 30 years ago, and my only note was, what are you, Simmons?

He He wishes. I can tap into the psychological meaning of Power's Booth visiting those teenage kids trying to survive up in the mountains as the red plague infects that Colorado town in Red Dawn. If you guys want to do a deep dive on that movie and the political ramifications, I'm ready at any point.

Okay, maybe that'll be a future segment. The packers, obviously, in five days, or what was it? In six days, whatever it is that it's been, the packers look a little bit better than everyone else looks.

They do. And I heard you guys talking earlier. What is remarkable, if I can be a little bit glass half empty here, is, consider now, they now have Jordan Love successfully making that transition from Rodgers, just as Rodgers went from FARV to Rodgers. That's 35-ish years now. That's the exact same number of Lombardi trophies coffees that they've delivered to Green Bay as Trent Dilfer and Joe Flacko gave to Charms City. Underwhelming, ultimately, right? A lot of good times if you're a packers fan, but not a lot of championships. Just two. Same as the Ravens in that stretch of time.

Well, that's why I would argue that Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback I've ever seen and an underachiever.

That's a while. Then we park our cars in the same garage, don't we? Yes.

Well, but what's it going to be for your stealers, though? Because you thought thought that game was going to go much differently. In fact, when I'm listening to your podcast while I'm entertained, and while I know the nutrients are good, you got nothing right.

I don't know about that. I mean, I said, first of all, I called the Monday Nighter on the nose. I said that the Vikings would win that game by three, and so they did.

And I said, that's the stealer. Wired to wire dominated. Had it all the way. Yeah, you were never nervous about that one.

Well, I think for me, the big takeaway of week one is the range in kicking performances. And how it has impacted the last five days' worth of conversation, at least. The assumptions we've made about who is better than whom and all of that really pivoted largely off of the performances of the kickers out there. I mean, the celebration on the banks of the Three Rivers in Pittsburgh, fine, Aaron Rodgers was very good, but so was Justin Field. So they basically played to a wash. The difference was Chris Boswell making 56 and 60-yard field goals, whereas nick Falk missed an extra point, which ultimately forced them to go for two, which they missed, and they fumbled a kickoff.

That's what's won that game. That's the one, though. The Jets released, what is it, Gibson? The Jets released the dude who fumbled. They might as well have done it right on the field. But you've gotten... How many years in a row have you gotten the Steeler's record correct within a game?

Yeah, it's been at least a dozen years that I haven't missed by more than one game. I haven't been on the nose every single season, but I've been very close to it.

But that game didn't make any sense, right? It was the lowest total of the week, and it was offense galore. Is that what Aaron Rodgers is going to be?

No. I mean, the assumption is, of course, that the defense will not allow 30 some points to Justin Fields or any other quarterback on the regular. They are built to dominate defensively and grind you up on offense and try to limit what the future Hall of Fame quarterback can do, positively or negatively, to impact the outcome of the game. They really had to lean on him. I don't want to be too cynical about it. I didn't think, but then Aaron Rodgers said the same thing I said, so I don't feel so bad like I'm attacking the guy. I don't think he was moving as great as people seem to think he was. Yes, there was some of the old play, action, gentle roll to the right that made him the Hall of Fame QB he is. But boy, he did not look as nimble as he did, let's say, five years or so ago. And so I think that that's going to be informative to the defense's upcoming. And here comes one to Pittsburgh now in Seattle that didn't win last week, but that is a mighty unit. And I do think Another. Well, I predicted a low-scoring game, Jets Pittsburgh.

I'm going to do it again here. I think that the Steelers and Seahawks do not put a lot of points on the board, and the bookmakers agree 39. 5 is where I see that number right now for the total.

And you nailed that low-scoring game prediction for Sealers, Jets. Hey, when you mentioned the packers look good, everyone goes to those uniforms, now a nontraditional look. And it's always risky when you have a team of such great football heritage, trying out one of these new uniforms. And I got to tell you, This uniform for a big swing is so close to being good. So close. Look at that piping on the pants. Look at those stripes on the sleeves. Look at the collar. Look at that beautiful gold popping with the white contrast. It is almost totally put together except for the helmet. No gold on the helmet whatsoever. A simple gold stripe down the middle would make this a great alternate uniform. Not a good one. And it's literally made a potentially great uniform. Bad. Did they want to save money on helmet stripes? What is this?

Mike, I would rather you save this for Football America Fashion Corner, but fine. Let's have this conversation. I thought it was faux pas. Well, we don't. Well, Dan, if you want to throw some... We're pooling football Americans out there to land on the perfect name. A range of great options has been presented to us. I think I really like drip drill is a good one that just came across. Mike, you're so close, but you're just missing it here. The gold on the hat would be fine. How about this? Let's go more Spartan, literally, because it would look like Sparty, Michigan State. Get rid of the gold altogether and just go white and green. That would look pretty cool, too, right?

I mean, I think you'd be the New York Jets at that point. So I love the gold of the Green Bay packers. I like that contrast. I like it pop. And this one's right there for me. We can agree to disagree, but one thing that we can both agree on is this is an imperfect uniform because they did a half measure.

That's right. What it looks is unfinished. It feels like it was 4: 59 PM on a Friday, and they're like, close enough. Let's go, Ken.

Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Did the packers alternate uniforms look unfinished? Watch Football America twice a week, Mondays and Fridays on YouTube at Football Americas Show. What happened with the kickers? Do you have any solve with the kickers? I was saying earlier this week that no jury would have convicted Miles Garrett if he had strangled whatever the name of that Browns kicker is with all the all the syllabus in his name, or all the letters in his names that aren't vowels?

Well, to me, I think we need a severe solution to kicking in the NFL. It's become a plague that they're too good. It was never intended for guys to be able to run out there and swing entire games by making 58-yarders with any regularity and 60-yarders and all of that. I say that we have to go back to the root cause, which was back in the '60s when somebody showed up from Europe and said, I'm going to sidewind it. I don't know where this voodoo came from and who signed off on it, but maybe we just have to make it head on kicking or shame the devil. No sidewinders to limit the amount. Paul Hornig, the Heisman Trophy winner, the Golden Boy from Notre Dame and Hall of Fame or with the packers and all of that. Do you know he was Vince Lombardi's kicker in to the early '60s. And in his last season as the place kicker, he made 33 % of all of his field goal attempts. I like that. I think that's what we need to get back to. I find it unsatisfying that games all come down to a guy who has nothing to do with the entire rest of the game.

It is our funniest position in major sports. It's our weirdest one. Is there any comp to it? Maybe a goalie in the NHL is about I mean, these guys, it's people running into each other on purpose, and they're gigantic human beings. And then all of a sudden, a little fellow runs out with a single bar facemask to decide the result of the game. It's bizarre at minimum, right?

No, it's the nine, the whole thing, the whole construct of it. But it's called football, and they can't go back now.

Well, like I've said before, we've talked about it. I think one thing you could do is put the crossbar on top of the two goal points. I don't want to do this again with you, Dennis. Why not? That's a great idea. And how about this? How about that in order to be eligible to kick field goals or to kick extra points in a game, you have to play, let's say, three or five snaps from the line of scrimmage. We don't need this specialization. We now live in an age where Travis Hunter is playing. He's catching passes, and he's trying to intercept passes, and Shohi Itani hits and he pitches. The running backs now are required to catch passes as well as take handoffs. We've transcended specialization now. So let's get rid of the kickers. And the more you can do Swiss Army knife, who's the best kicker on the defensive line like Indamik and Sue, you're in. I think that's a good idea, Dan.

This episode is supported by FX's The Lowdown, starring Ethan Hawk. Allow us to introduce you to Lee Raybon, a quirky journalist, rare bookstore owner, unofficial truth seeker. Who's always on the tail of his latest conspiracy. This time, his most recent exposé puts him head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa. Meaning only one thing, he must be onto something big. Fx is the Lowdown premieres September 23rd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Dan Levatard. In terms of heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What's the pivot thing?

I'm irrational. Stugatz.

I'm irrational. Did you not hear your voice there? It's going to be tough to hear my boy, dude. Your voice If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize Irrational, that's the voice I would give it.

This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugats.

Please stop yelling at me. You're new around here. Put it on the poll @LebitardShow. Is the kicker the weirdest, funiest position in all of sports? I'd nominate the long snapper. Put it on the poll as well at Lebitard Show, Weirder, Funnier, Career Choice, Kicker or Long snapper, because that's a terrible way to go through life. You're just always looking down through your legs all the time, and no one cares whether you're good at your job, except for that one time you make a mistake. It's the same thing.

My boy, I don't know why he volunteered for this on his football team. He has decided to be the long snapper and is now doing that. And I don't want to get in his head with my negativity. But of course, you just said exactly the rest. It's like, great boy, but no one's ever going to notice you unless you screw up. I don't like that.

Not exactly the game that you're playing, Dave, because the position is weird, I understand, but it's usually occupied by weirdos. People say this about kickers, but in the NHL, they say this about goaltenders and closers. Typically a little off.

What would be the position, Dan, if you could choose any in sport, what would be your preferred spot? You can take any of the four major sports.

Oh, backup, quarterback.

That's a good smart one. That's well thought out. But I'm vain enough that I would want a little of the shine. And so I would want to be in the bullpen because I wouldn't want to be near the skipper where he could- But you're asking me...

In your hypothetical, I have to assume the risk as well, right? So you're putting me in a position where I actually have to worry about Miles Garrett, me, not as a quarterback, but me.

You could be a good holder.

It doesn't make enough money. It doesn't make enough money. It's not a good career, Troy.

I think, to me, to be out in the bullpen away from the boss man where you can do your own thing and talk to the fans, and once in a while you get in. I mean, maybe being a platoon corner outfielder would be pretty cool, too, because then you don't play every day. You want to play some of the time. That's the problem with backup QB, is that you never get into the game.

No, Dave, you were going down the perfect track, the mop-up duty long reliever, right? Because you're down 7: 00 to 2: 00 in the fifth én or the sixth én. They bring in this guy. No matter how he performs after the game, Skipper is like, Hey, he gave us some huge innings in saving that bullpen for a later date. He really helped us out. Great job by him.

Even if he's terrible, it's the perfect role. No. You want to be... Dave is right. You want to be the fourth outfielder. You want to be Ross Gload in a couple of outbats a week.

That's right, because it's like being the chargers in the Payton Manning draft. If you're the fourth outfielder, it's basically like being the chargers after they already took Payton Manning. Like, Well, what did you want us to do? We had to take Ryan Leef. Payton was already gone. If you're the fourth outfielder, there is inherent lack of pressure on you. You're like, Well, I didn't start. I was like the go-to to, Can you try and fix what's wrong here? I did my best at the plate there, Skip, when I went in there. Yeah, I like the lower stakes, the lower pressure on me.

The seventh episode of Football America is going to be today, and it's going to be Mondays and Fridays. You get this here at Metalark Media. Seventh episode, you're big on numbers. The greatest number seven ever in football is Elway without a close second. Does he have a close second?

Well, I mean, that's... Well, John Elway was one-half of the greatest quarterback number seven versus another number seven in NFL history. John Elway and Boomer Osierson went head to head back in the '80s and '90s. So to that extent, yes, John Elway is safely in there.

To all extents, there's a better number seven at quarterback than John Elway.

I mean, you don't think Ben Roethlsberger is at least a viable option? I mean, they won the same number of Super Bowl's, and Elwis were more attributable to Terrell Davis. I think we can agree, right? In the twilight of his career. That being said, I always give Elway credit. I think that playoff wins for a quarterback are, in fact, a statistic in the postseason. Otherwise, what's the point of having a postseason? But his greatest deed, Elway, was dragging those bum rosters in the '80s to Super Bowl.

That's correct. How do you reconcile, though, when you're talking about the measurements on some of these things? Ben Rothsperger, I feel like, had a good deal more help than John Elway did the entirety of his career. You're mentioning the last stretch for John Elway when he actually won the championships, but that's not even who I'm thinking of when I think of Elway, the quarterback.

What do you mean? What are you thinking of with Elway?

At the At the end of his career, like Payton Manning won the championship, and he had nine touch downs and 17 interceptions. I didn't need the proof of his Championship. You say playoff wins or a stat for a quarterback, so your assessment of Lamar Jackson is what?

Is that he needs to take care of business in January, or else he does not make the shortlist of greatest quarterbacks in the history of people. I mean, it's as simple as that, and the same fate awaits Josh Allen. And it's funny that you bring this up, Dan, because, of course, I brought it up to and to Chris Cody earlier in the week. I'd love to get your thought on this as well, just like I did the Cody's. Maybe a hot take for people. I'm not trying to ruffle feathers down there in Miami. I say for all of his rightly legendary status in pro football history, Don Shula failed Dan Marino. Dan Marino would have won a title if his head coach hadn't been outmoded. Don Chula was great, obviously the architect of those early '70s Super Bowl victory.

That's what you did with the Coties on your podcast? You did Moreno. Did Don Shula face Moreno? You did a show that would have been great in 1985?

That's right. Well, as far as 1985 goes, I also floated this bit of positivity for the Dolphins fans. I mean, it gets the asterisk of the shameful loss to the New England Patriots in the title game in the Raining Orange Bowl. But if Moreno and company would have survived Craig James and Mosey Tatupu and Steve Grogan on that rainy day, they would have gone to the Superdome for a rematch against the Chicago Bears, who, of course, they vanquished on Monday night football. I think the same thing would have happened again. And then You really throw pro football history Super Bowl air on its ear by saying that the greatest single-season defense, or at least the one that people hold up as being that, would have not won a Super Bowl, and Dan Moreno would have won one. There are a few moments that are more in are stronger inflection points than that game.

You are absolutely right. Don Shula won a Super Bowl throwing seven passes with Bob Greasey. He didn't know what the hell to do with Dan Marino. He just let him be Dan Marino and didn't know what else to do because he was an old man coaching a team, and Dan Marino won all those games. And of course, he failed him at the end. Again, that show would have been better in 1993. You doing it with the Coties as we tried to grab young people in the YouTube age. A strange choice. Did Don Shula face Dan Marino? Most of the people having that argument on sports radio are now dead. The people who had that argument on sports radio.

All right, you want to talk about Red Dawn again? We can do that.

See you later, Damosheck. It's a good podcast. You should listen to it. Football America, Monday and Friday. Good talking to you. It's been nice to listen to. It's entertaining, it's nourishing, and put all your money opposite the things that him and the fake RFK said.

Now, Bobby Jr is responsible for those bad pics. Not Damosheck. Don't put that on me.

See you later. Good talking to you. More football to talk about this weekend. Since we were talking about kickers, it was delightful to learn last weekend that the University of South Florida has a grammatica back there, Niko. Carrying on the family tradition I would say, put them next to each other. More famous name associated with something, the Willendas or the Grammaticas? Because when I saw Niko Grammatica, what a precious, precious heirloom. That's the greatest kicking family in history of kicking, is it not? In the weird, funny position, that's royalty. There is no name you associate with kicking more than that, not Vinatari, as a family, correct? There's no such thing.

The Flying Grammaticas, yeah. They are the kicking family. He was there last year. He was in a shared role. They only brought him in for long kicks. He made a long kick against Miami last year. I was like, How do they keep making these down here in the Tampa area? Dan Levatard.

I just got to get. Stugats.

Every Cup game. And what? This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugats.

College football-wise, South Florida and Nico Dramatica kicking the ass of Florida. How much trouble is Billy Napier in? Because the expectations of Florida have changed, and I dare say, Mario Cristobal has changed them, right? Because I wasn't expecting anything from FSU this season. Fsu going from 13: 1 to whatever they were, 2: 10, 2: 11, 2: 12, whatever the hell they were last year, is something I've never seen before. Never mind in the state of Florida. I've just never seen it in college football, where you go one season or the next, and that's what it is. So I didn't expect anything from Florida State this year, and they were better than I expected in the first game. I expected something from Florida last year, and then the first game, Kam Ward took away my interest in anything Florida-related. They were very strong at the end of the season. Is doing some heavy lifting there. They were much stronger at the end of last season. They were the first half of the season, which ruined Billy Napier, and I didn't think he would recover from it. And then he loses at home to South Florida with a player spitting in the face of someone to cost in the game as an 18-point favorite.

Where are we with the Florida Gators? We just had a week ago, three of the top teams in Florida were in top 15, and Florida clearly, first time out with that distinction, shit itself.

I think they were a media fabrication entering the season. I think people paid attention to them, fighting for their head coach a little bit, and thought that that was some predictive analysis and didn't really pay attention to the talent that they lost. And while they did well in the portal, they did well in the portal with just outside guys, and they were pretty strong in receiver anyways, so they got smaller along the trenches. So I thought that this might happen. Florida has been a weird school, and it's always difficult to manage the expectations there. Will Muschamp took the impossible job of following Urban Meyer. It didn't matter that he made it to an SEC title game and recruited at a top 10 clip. Bottom fell out. You understand when you're following that job, you're likely to get can quickly. But then Jim McEwane came around, and he won back-to-back SEC East titles, which was the first head coach to do that since Steve Spurrier. And that wasn't good enough because he generally wasn't like, did that thing with the shark, purportedly. Or, you know what? That's just fact. He did that. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows that.

That's a fact. We have proof.

But when you talk about McAlwane and you talk about Dan Mullen, certainly when these guys post close to a 700 winning percentage. You have to wonder, the expectations inside the SEC, especially since they've added the likes of Oklahoma and Texas, you should recalibrate them a little bit. Now, I don't think this is going to work out for Billy and Ape here, but they have a pretty good support system in place when it comes to resources and NIL. And if they maybe were just a little bit more patient with Dan Mullen, who I think has that now on a smaller scale at UNLV, and we'll show you over time, what head coach he is. If he doesn't have to worry about the recruiting, he can be a good head coach. So I think that they've been a little quick.

He only has a $20 million buyout. It sounds crazy to say only, but it's not like $85 million or something.

But I do think that they're going play hard again for their coach. I think LSU is probably a little overvalued, and they'll show some fight. I don't know if they'll pull off the upset. They have a crazy run of games here. It's going to be very difficult. And I fully expect them to have a new head coach. And from what I've heard, this is not happen to know. I've only borrowed this from other people that happen to know, is they'll put forth a lucrative offer for Lane Kiffin, and we'll see if that entices him. Although I don't know if Lane Kiffin will do that, because that dude can win 10 games for the rest of his life at Ole Miss and be a conquering hero. You do that at Florida, as Jim McAlwane and Dan Mullen prove, you lose your job.

That's what is interesting about all of the things that you were saying, the burden of expectations. We saw what the burden of expectations did to the Browns, organizationally and on the field, to Baker Mayfield, to Odell Beckham. The burden of expectations make it so that Florida, yeah, plays in the SEC. And you've got now a couple of generations that saw what Spurrier did there, saw what Urban Meyer did there, feel like they deserve that. And so Mullen was a mediocrity when he wasn't a mediocrity. Expectations. I feel for De Boer, he will not survive that. No way.

There's no shot he does.

Lane ending up there would be great. It would be- At Bama? Yeah. I mean, he's not going to leave for Florida. Why would he leave Ole Miss for Florida?

He does love the Coast of Florida.

Yeah, but, oh, man, if he ends up in Alabama, you know he'd that job just to stick it to Saban.

The burden of expectations with that stuff makes some of these jobs pressure cookers. Like the idea that Mike is using the strength of his mouth to say out loud They should have stayed longer with Mullen. When we all knew what the fires were around that stadium, when Mullen was mediocre, but it's what Dave Wadstet got swallowed by after it's Don Shula and it's Jimmy Johnson. I have a lot of great stats in my head, but the Pittsburgh Steelers having only three coaches feel like what the packers have felt like having only three quarterbacks for the last 35 years, where structurally and organizationally, you're always able to evolve to keep up with everybody else.

I'm sure Gator's fans probably couldn't see how quickly things change from an NIL support basis. Maybe They certainly had their reasons to let go of Dan Mullen. When he lost his job, they were on a pretty bad run of form. But also Dan Mullen made Kyle Trask a Heisman finalist. He finished fourth in the Heisman. Great college quarterback. Yeah. Dan Mullen is a great play caller. He is a great offensive mind.

Mullen had the only Kyle Pitz I've seen be good.

I think that if he were surrounded by what Florida has right now, he'd be more successful than Billy Napier, who, by all accounts, is a nice man, but he's going to be on someone else's staff.

You want to try and explain to me why Kraft is better than Pitz?

I don't understand that one at all, but no one has. It's one of football's great mysteries. Everyone still believes in Kyle Pitz, although promising with a different quarterback in there, spraying the field a little bit more. Michael Penix is such a gamer. That game was insane. We didn't even talk about Bucks Falcons. The last five minutes of that game were just bonkers. That was drugs.

Penix is going to be fun as a quarterback, fun on the goal line. He did two things near the goal line that were winning He did not deserve to lose that football game.

The Drake London drop. He was so good, and Baker just matched him shot for shot. And Mekka is going to be an incredible receiver for him. Baker, when he said, as soon as he got him in the camp- Tampa was hurt, too. Yeah, Tampa Are they? Worfs was banged up.

It's been interesting to see Baker Mayfield resurrect himself in a way that always wins that division. That's nuts to have watched what happened there. There has been so much flux in that division. I know it's not a good division, but he's been the best to top since he's been there.

Here's how I know the Baker Mayfield, Is he good discourse is dead. We know him to be good. You know why? Because I was betting on the Falcons that game, and I was terrified of Baker Mayfield marching down the field. Baker Mayfield has already gotten two of his offensive coordinators' head coaching jobs. He's got to get a third one hired. We got to stop doing this with the underestimating of Baker Mayfield.

So when you guys say terrified, this is an interesting way, right? I saw a lot of people criticizing John Harbaugh because he punted on fourth and two and trusted his defense to not let Josh Allen get back down the field for a field goal. I always make my decisions as a coach that way, where I say, What does the defense want me to do here? And a defense was scared, and a stadium was scared that the Ravens would go for it on fourth and 2 and finish the game, even though it risked leaving Buffalo already in a position to kick a 57-yard field goal to win the game.

When you're talking late game efficiency per Bucaneers communications, after the five-play 63-yard drive to beat Atlanta. Since his arrival in 2023, in the final two minutes of regulation, Baker Mayfield is tied for the NFL lead in passing touch downs and ranks third in passer rating. So he's been great lately.

And that place was an insane asylum. That's one of the loudest stadiums I've ever heard on television just because of how crazy that game was unfolding. It is so pathetic for the Cleveland Browns to have worked since their return in 1994 to find a quarterback like they had in Baker Mayfield and shoot him out the door because he had the nerve to play hurt.

Face the Texans this week at Houston. That should be a win for Tampa.

You think so? I mean, a season on the brink if you fall to 0-2 for the Houston Texan.

Yeah, I don't know about Houston. I think that maybe we saw the best of Houston two seasons ago.

Well, what do they have the following week?

After that, they have the Jets. They're hosting the Jets. That should be a dub. Then the Super Bowl champions come to town.

I mean, they own the Eagles. They beat them in the playoffs. They made Kela more Can we reshape that offense?

Then they're at Seattle.

I'd rather talk about anything than stadium talk.

I like that because we could do Falcons, which is where we were headed. This is a rough one for them at Minnesota. That's going to be a test.

I'd rather prefer to be a test.

Then they have the Panthers. Panthers, easy peasy.

Chris, what happened with your air conditioning guy the other day?

Then the Commanders.

That's funny. The air conditioning just cut off here. I had an air guy come over, and I got... Do you guys tip the air conditioning guy? When someone comes over, like a plumber, air I do as well, and I'm always unsure whether I'm doing enough. $150 was the bill. What do you tip?

What? How good of a job did he do?

He did a very nice job.

What was wrong with it?

It was just over cool. It was frozen and stuff and dripping a little. It needed to be suctioned out, the water in there a little.

I think 50 is fair. I'd go over and above if it looked hard to me and if I was deeply appreciative.

It took him about an hour and 20 minutes.

That sounds like a 75 Bucker.

I went to Hundo.

Quiche. You gave a $200 tip on $150 service?

No, $200 total.

It was $150. He gave me $200.

That's nice. That's a nice shop out of you.

I felt it was sufficient. But he didn't give me a, Wow, thank you.

If you're tipping, it's generally about 20%, 25%, just about any- That's restaurants, no? Well, just about any tipping, I would say. That's more than most people would give, I think. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. Do you tip the air conditioning guy? Put it also on the poll at Lebitard's show. Is the air air conditioning guy ever not a guy? Because I don't know whether that previous question is offensive the way that I phrased it.

Could Brad Williams be an air conditioning guy? I didn't make him.

It's a weird fixation today with little people. What's going on today?

Do you all tip your air conditioning guy? Because I know that- I'm not going to lie, I said this before the show, and I got some nos.

I don't hear them now.

I don't think everyone does that. I don't think everyone does that. And you gave a hardy tip, which I assume is why you're talking about it. I assume that it's why you're telling everybody, Yeah, you're telling everybody, I was generous here, and I think you know you were generous here.

It's because I feel this pressure. I think I overtip because the stress of them being unhappy, walking out and being like, This mother bleeper. I just get scared, and I probably do overtip because I just-Is it always the same AC person for you?

That's a great question. Or do you call different AC things?

It's the same company. It's been the same guy. This guy was a different guy. The one that I had yesterday was a different person, but I have had somebody.

The Does the person own the company? Does that make a difference? My guy Carlos, I'm pretty sure, owns the company. Then do I tip him? Also, one of Carlos' guys stepped through my ceiling once, and I was not happy about that.

I would imagine, Dan, you feel like, especially if they recognize you, right? Do you do a thing of if you're recognized, you tip more?

Well, yes. I had the world's worst waiter in Hawaii. What a title. Well, but he was nervous.

You wear a sash or a trophy? How'd you know?

No, because he got three parts of my order wrong, and I only ordered three Look, if you're a server and he recognized you-That's right. He got nervous.

And you still screw it like that is.

Well, but that's why I had to overtip, though, because I can't leave a shitty tip in that spot. What was the order?

You strike me as a weird orderer.

It was super simple. Can I get some cereal With coconut milk? He was just nervous. At no cereal? At a seafood restaurant. Yeah, it's just Coco Puffs. Yes, that's what I ordered.

I went to dinner with Dan once, and he didn't order food or a drink.

To be a fly on the table.

We didn't know that was happening until he was the last to order. Then he said, No, I'll have nothing, please. We're like, Wait, what?

Why are we here?

Sparkling water.

Was that Mama's Fish House?

We were here to talk. No, I like that, though. No, Mama's Fish House had great service. I feel bad for this guy now because he listens to the podcast.

How did the guy get it wrong? What did he do?

I ordered three things, and he brought three things out that were wrong.

All at the same time?

Was it your wife's order, and he just put in the wrong place?

Was this Appetizer, main course, and dessert?

Drink?

I'm always I'm always impressed when a restaurant knows what seat the food goes to. You can tell that's a good restaurant when it's like, They know that this steak goes to this seat, whereas sometimes it's like, who got the filet? And then you have to raise your hand. I like it when they know what seat.

How off was it? Did you say it like a Coca-Cola and they brought you Miami Vice or something?

Everything was wrong, Billy. Every single thing was wrong.

Little private insight into my personality. I privately revel when I I'm like, You sure you don't want to write this down? I can tell they're not writing down the order. They're like, Got it over there. I'm like, All right.

My order is going to get more complicated.

Yeah, are you sure? Okay. Then they come back and they mess it up. Sometimes I don't even articulate it.

Can I get the cev with no garlic, please?

In my mind, I'm like, Should have written it down.

As long as you're close, I'm good. I'm not going to send anything back. Let's be real.

I never send food back.

Just be close enough.

I never send food back. Let's I'm real there.

I have no cheese. I have a knife. I'll take the cheese.

I'm not going to send it back, but I know.

I know. I will take this, so.

Honestly, it sounds like messing up your orders is the way to a better tip because Dan just said he overtipped because the guy got all of his orders wrong, which is like, if I know that, if I'm podcasters out there, if you're going to be one of Dan's future servers here-Screw it up. Screw up his order, and you're going to get a massive tip, it sounds like.

Just say you know me, you can extort me. That's how it happens. Just say you know me. Big fan. Get me Cunine. Get me 10: 09. Dan Levatard.

I got a Slater scoop.

Stugatz.

He us. This is the Dan Levatard show with the Stugatz.

I am prepared to do the very hardest of things and admit I was wrong. If Matthew Barry commits to what it is he's presently doing for us today and our listeners, which gives them the greatest of information as fast as possible. If he does this for us all season, I will come around. I will participate in fantasy. I will be the ambassador for fantasy that Matthew Barry has always been because I am so grateful for both his expertise and his time. This is valuable stuff that he has for our listeners. He's going to do it every week. Before we open up the club, the Cuervo Club, let's get as much fantasy info for our listeners as they could use from the very best of sources. Give me some imaging so that we can introduce him. He's going to do it every week during the season, and I will be a fantasy zealot by the of this season. Let's do it.

Matthew Berry. Matthew Berry.

Matthew Berry. Matthew Berry.

Matthew Berry.

That's great.

Take it away, Matthew.

That's awesome.

I love that.

I love that. That's awesome. Thank you, guys. Appreciate that. Thank you, Dan. That is a worthwhile goal. I will commit to that, to get Dan Glovitar to be a fantasy zealot. Honestly, just not a fantasy hater, I think, is a win. Anything beyond that is gravy. So I'm on board. I'm in, man.

You better give your information. You're not here for the small talk. You're here to rush through it fast. He is the host of fantasy football hour with Matthew Berry.

And he's at Juju's house.

You should watch on Peacock, and he is at Juju's house. Let's go, Matthew.

All right. In week one, Dak Prescott had the fourth highest average depth of target in the NFL. And then that same week, the New York Giants, who they play this week, allowed the sixth most yard for completion. You can throw deep on the Giants. I thought Dak looked great. He's a top 10 play for me this week. Last week, no team in the NFL had a higher pass rate over expectation than the Los Angeles Chargers. This week, they play the Raiders, who last week, no team faced more pass attempts than the Raiders. You can throw on the Raiders. By the way, dating back to last season, Justin Herbert has now finished as a top 10 fantasy quarterback in four straight games. Last week, here's the entire list of players on the Cincinnati bangles that received at least one rushing attempt that were a running back. Chase Brown, that's the entire list. Literally no other running back of the bangles got a carry last week. Jaguars, 27th success rate against runningback Russians. Last week, you can run on the Jaguars. Chase Brown due for a big game. How about the Carolina Panthers, who last week, around 200 rushing yards and 6.

3 yards for carry? James counter, Trey Benson, both worthwhile this week. Last week, no running back in the NFL allowed more, ran more routes or was target on more of his routes than Dylan Samson. The Browns are eleven and a half point underdogs to the Ravens. They're going to be throwing quite a bit. I think we'll see a little bit of Quinchawn Judkins, but it's mostly going to be Samson in the pass catching roll against the Ravens as the Browns are down big, and they're going to be throwing a lot. By the way, when the Browns are throwing, they're also throwing to Cedric Tillman. In the last five full games dating back to last year, Cedric Tillman is averaging 18. 1 fantasy points for a game. Dan, just to give you a comparison, last year, that would have been better than CeeDee Lamb. He would have been a top eight fantasy wide receiver last year on a points for game basis. No one's talking about Cedric Tillman. They should. Oh, by the way, he's outscored Jerry Judy, his teammate, in four of the last five games. Everyone likes Judy more. That's wrong. I disagree on that.

By the way, over the last 14 games dating back to last year, Jacobi Myers of the Raiders is averaging 15. 7 fantasy points per game. Last year, that would have been wide receiver 15. He was drafted way outside of that. He's a top 20 wide receiver, just no one ever talks about Jacobi Myers. And last week among tight ends that ran at least 15 routes, no one was targeted on the higher percentage of his routes. Then Tyler Warren of the Indianapolis Colts. I expect Pat Sertan to be on Michael Pitman. So if you're Daniel Jones, what are you doing? You're throwing a Tyler Warren this weekend.

I'm into my vein.

He's a fucking machine. He's the host of fantasy football hour with Matthew Berry. Watch on Peacock. If he does that 15 more times, I will be a zealot by the end of the season. Thank you. I'm grateful for your time, sir.

Appreciate you, Dan, as always. See you, guys.

Thank you. He picks up the slack in Jaden Reid's absence.

People are going to really-Dontabian Wix.

Tucker Croft is the guy I trust the most, but I think Wix gets the biggest boost with a Reid injury.

Can I cut Colston Lovaland, or is he really terrible?

Why are you talking like that?

That's all we have with Matthew Barry.

It was Colson Lovaland or somebody else, and the answer is somebody else. I didn't even hear it.

You couldn't hear it because he was away for the mic for reasons no one understands. It was a strange choice by.