Transcript of 813. Q&AF: Aligning With Business Partners, Deciding What To Sell & Mastering The Monotonous

What is up, guys?

It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the Realist. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have Q&A. That's where you submit the Qs, and we give you the AFs. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, you can email these questions into askandy@andyforsella. Com, or you go on YouTube on the Q&AF episodes, drop your question in the comments, and we'll choose some from there as well. Throughout the week, we are going to have shows within the show. Tomorrow, we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. This is where we put topics of the day up on the screen over here. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. Then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk that I think needs to be heard. Then we have 75 Hard Verses. That's where people who have completed the 75 Hard program come on the show.

They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how you can use the 75 Hard program to reframe your mindset and change your life as well. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most popular mental transformation program ever. You can get it for free at episode 208. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. It is not on YouTube. There's also a book you can buy at andyfercela. Com called The Book on Mental Toughness. It includes the entire Live Hard program, top to bottom. It also includes a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, along with a bunch of case studies on some very famous people who have used mental toughness to become the famous people that you recognize. Again, that book is available at andyfercela. Com. It is not required. You can get the whole program at episode 208 on audio feed. That's that. Now, if you're new here, we always got new listeners. We do things a little bit differently. We are probably the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads. I'm pretty sure we are, but I'm just going to say probably.

We don't do that because we talk about the things that nobody really wants to talk about. I don't want answer to somebody telling me what I can and can't say. In exchange for that, in exchange for not wasting 30 minutes of your time talking about shit that I don't even use, I'd ask very simply that you help us share the show, all right? We deal This is censorship quite often, traffic throttling, shadow bands, etc. Please help us grow the show. If you find value in the show, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective. If it's good information, we're going to get some today. Do us a solid and don't be a hoe.

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All right. What's up, man? What's going on, man? Nothing, dude. What's up with you?

I feel a little lighter.

Huh?

Use the restroom.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah, it's always good.

Shut the fuck up. That must have been a It was hard. It must have been like... It was quick. You must have went back in time or something. You got that Doc Brown time machine.

What does that do? What does that do?

It eliminates your 45-minute poops. Yeah, at 88 miles an hour.

Dude, I actually read something. Apparently, it's not good. I don't know why it takes me so long.

It's not good. It'll give you hemorrhoids. Well, I have those. Yeah, well, that's probably why.

Well, mine are genetic.

What?

Genetic hemorrhoids is a thing.

I don't know about that. No, it's for me sitting on the toilet for an hour every fucking time you go over there.

No, it's genetic.

Yeah, it's probably the same genetics that everybody else has when they sit on the toilet for an hour. Are you looking it up?

It is genetic.

See? Can it be genetic? Yes.

Because my older sister has them, too.

I bet she appreciates you telling the whole world that. I'm just saying. I can't control them, sis. I can't control him. He's a wild animal. It happens, man.

I think my dad would probably have him if I had-Dad, too?

You got to tell on your whole family here. What else about your family?

It's been a minute, so I don't know if he's... You know what I'm saying?

All right, let's get into the show. We're here to get better today. Tomorrow's the jokes.

Hey, learn something new every day, man. Let's get better, guys.

We already learned that hemorrhids can be genetic.

It can be genetic.

We're already off to a great start this week.

That's what I'm saying.

If you don't know, now you know. Now you know.

Well, let's get into these questions, but I got three good ones for you, man. All right, man. Guys, Andy, question number one. Hi, Andy.

Hi.

I love when they... It's just always a nice salutation. Hi, Andy. I really appreciate everything you do. 75 Hard was a game changer for me. Moving me through a company to now running my own business. I'm 30, and I resonate with your intense operating style. I'm aggressive and always pushing to move forward. My business partner, who is 20 years older, operate at a slower pace, more patient and methodical. While we're fully aligned on the direction and goals of the business, sometimes the lack of urgency frustrates me. I understand and respect his approach, and I know it's what makes us work well together, but I'm curious, if you face something similar with Chris, has he ever operated at a different pace than you? How do you maintain alignment without losing momentum? I'd love to hear your advice on managing this dynamic without sabotaging a successful partnership.

Well, look, everybody naturally runs at a different pace. The truth of the matter is, it's actually probably a really good thing that you're partner is a little more mature and a little more patient and moves at a little slower pace because when you are an intense operator, you need someone to counteract that and balance that out because that can be a lot for people to handle. It's like drinking from a fire hydrant. Most people aren't built to handle that level of intensity. It's good to have someone who has gone down the road, who may have a little bit more experience, who understands that the things that you might get intense about don't really require that level of intensity. Because some of the time, when we put too much intensity on tasks that don't require that level of intensity, you can actually end up with a lesser result because it adds undue pressure to people that don't need to feel that pressure in the moment. That's a hard discipline to learn, especially if you run naturally hot. I run naturally hot. I'm always intense. One of the most common things that people People ask people that know me in person, they say always, Is he really like that in real life?

And the answer is, Yes, I am like that. That can be too much for people, but that serves as a good litmus test. If it's too much for you, this is probably not a good place for you to work. If you jive with it, you're going to respect and you're going to love it because you know it's pulling everybody down the fucking tracks. Okay, so there's good and there's bad. And as you mature, you're going to learn when to apply it and when not to apply it. Urgency is one of the most important aspects of anybody's outcome, because most people will tell you, Oh, take it easy. Oh, you're working too hard. Oh, you're taking this too serious. But those people never become great at anything. They never produce anything. They never become anything. They never contribute to anything. And they end up in the same spot that they're at, at 45 or 55 that they were at when they were All right? And I'm here to tell you that life doesn't end at 25. It's just starting. So having good intensity, having urgency is a massive, massive, massive advantage. And I'm going to say this, I would much rather have way too much than way too little.

Okay? So I'm going to say that. Now, I'm going to say something else. As far as my experience, okay? Chris is not the only person that I've dealt with as a business partner. I've got my brother, I've got Jason, I've got these other guys who are all part of this big conglomerate of companies that we own. They're all different. And I would say I'm the most intense. However, those guys all run at different paces, and it's good because they can decipher what I'm saying. There's a lot of times when I say, Do this, that, this, this, this. And it's so intense and so hot that the team doesn't necessarily understand it. So it requires one I'm one of those guys to translate it. You see what I'm saying? So this is why I only talk to... I'm chairman of First Form. I'm not even the CEO anymore. Haven't been for a couple of years. I talk to Sal. I talk to Chris about the companies that he runs. I talk to Jason, and that's all the fucker. That's who I talk to, okay? Because everybody else can't handle it, all right? When I talk to you guys, and you guys know, I get fucking pissed.

I get hot. I get urgent. I want to win now. I don't want to win yesterday. I want to win today. I don't want to win in two weeks. I want to win today. I don't want to win in another fucking year. I want to win today. And that's a lot of urgency compared to what most places are like. So the fact that you have a business partner that is a little older, been down the path, has a little bit more patience, is probably a really great thing for your culture. And you just have to learn that you're the pace setter, and that person is not an anchor, but just a little bit of a parachute to slow you down so you don't burn everybody out. Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense. I also think of it, too. When you're moving so fast, if you don't have at least another set of eyes looking at shit, shit gets missed.

100%, especially when you're urgent, especially when you run hot. There'll be a number of times where I'll say, Dude, we got to do this. And one of the guys, Sal, Jason, Chris, they'll say, Well, what about this and this and this? And I'm like, Oh, I didn't even think of that. Okay, well, we'll this. And then we come through and connect that we all know it needs to be done right now, but we don't make mistakes because they're able to slow it down a little bit and think it through instead of just jumping in. See, I come from a place where all the companies I founded, we started with nothing. We don't owe banks money, and we don't owe people money. Nobody gave me fucking money. So I had to win. I had to survive. And that breeds a different fucking intensity when you have to, okay? When you don't have any other options, when your back is against the wall, if you don't execute today, you ain't eating this weekend, that is a lot of pressure, dude. And that pressure was on me for so long, 11 years actually, that it's become part of who I am.

I hope it never changes because I feel like when people change that about themselves, that's when things start changing in their lives. While it may not be everybody's cup of tea, I enjoy it. Every other time I've tried to be more calm and be less urgent and accommodate other people. I've gone fucking insane. It fucking drives me insane. I cannot be around people who are not intense and urgent about winning. It drives me fucking crazy. The number one thing that bothers me is when I look at someone and I'm like, Bro, do you even fucking want to win? Do you even want to win? When I can't tell if someone wants to win, dude, it drives me insane. You know what I mean? So we got to have the balances out. And it's not bad to be intense. In I think it's a great place to be if you're setting the pace for your company because do business moves fucking fast. And all these people I hear on the internet that tell you to calm down and relax and take it easy and you're going too hard and this, that, and the other, bro, those people are going to be in the same spot that they've always fucking been.

You may not know that because you're young, but I'm telling you, everybody who ever said that to me, they are where they were when they said it. And that's just the truth.

Oh, man. There's a lot here, man. I love this question. I want to ask you this, too, because you talk about times that you've tried to change your own personal pace, whether that be from external advice from whoever, right? So Is it also safe, and you said that never really worked out. Is it also safe to, I guess, assume you shouldn't try to change somebody else's pace? They have to be willing to change their own pace, whether that's speeding it up or slowing it down. You should not be trying to make somebody else change their pace at How do you think it's moving?

I think it depends on if it's working or not. I got some advice. When I already had, I was already a wealthy person. I was already a great speaker. I was already great at the things that I was doing. To tone it down from someone that I actually respect. I tried to tone it down. It fucked up my whole game, fucked up my business, fucked up my ability to talk, fucked up everything about me because it isn't me. I think the main thing is to be authentic who you are. That's what it comes down to. You're not crazy. You're not broken. You're not something that needs to be fixed just because you're not like everybody else. Maybe you're not like everybody else because you have a fucking gift that they don't have. So that's something to consider as well. And I found that to be the case more than not when it comes to listening to critiques or judgment or advice from other people. Okay, I'm me. The recipe is the recipe, and it is what it is. If you don't like the way it tastes, don't fucking eat it. You know what I'm saying?

You bought the ingredients. Yeah, right.

That's what you got here. I love that, man. I think to the other point, though, too, even for people who are not as outgoing, be authentic in that sense, you shouldn't try to be more. You can't start cussing and thinking yellow and thinking like- Dude, we see that all the time, bro.

We see these kids, especially men on the internet, who are... They want to be more masculine So they go find who they think is an alpha male, and all of a sudden, they go from being a well-mannered, well-spoken person to screaming. Dude, that is not masculine, man. Just because someone has the trait of being loud or cursing or it sounds this or that, that's not authentic to you. It's authentic to them, most likely. So what's authentic to you? What do you feel the best at? And by the way, doing nothing and being nothing and saying nothing doesn't count. So what do you feel the best when you are executing? Not when you're not doing anything, because everybody's going to say, Well, I feel the best when I'm sitting on my couch watching Netflix. No, I'm saying when you go out in the world and when you execute, what is your natural style and how does that produce results? And if that's something that produces results and they produce results well, it probably doesn't need to be messed with. If it's something that doesn't, then you can look to change and find your authentic self. Most people don't feel adequate, dude.

So they think their authentic self isn't good enough. They think that their authentic self is too boring or too plain. But what they miss is that everybody else is trying to be something they're not. So when you're authentic, people can feel it, they can smell it. They can hear it. They can see it. And whatever that is, it's way more appealing, even if it's boring, than to someone who's manufacturing a personality. So your authentic self is your competitive advantage if you're willing to truly live that way.

I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, how did you know that your product or service was the one when you opened your first business? I know I want to start a business and go through the hardship of creating a lasting legacy in my area, but I'm unsure of knowing if If my product or service will solve a big enough problem or even be profitable enough to scale it. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Andy, and for all you do.

Yeah, make a decision about what you're going to sell, dude. What are you selling? I didn't end up in the supplement industry intentionally. You guys don't understand that. I wanted to open a tanning salon. Chris and I were going to open a tanning salon. We were going to be the fucking Suntan Boys. Is this legit? Yes. Damn. We couldn't afford to buy Suntan beds because they were like 50 fucking grand. So we ended up selling fucking vitamins. The truth of the matter is that it doesn't matter. You need to make a decision. You need to start something. The skills that you learn along the way will actually help you adjust course as to what your offering will be. So most people will sit in this place that this person is in and never make a decision. I don't know what to sell. Should I sell books? Should I sell computers? Should I Should I sell snow cones? Should I sell ice cream? Should I open a pizza place? Should I sell fucking bikinis? People will just throw around all these ideas. Well, let me tell you something, dude. Ideas ain't worth fucking shit. Execution is where it's at.

So it doesn't matter if you're selling ice cream or bikinis or fucking whatever, dude. What matters is that you go do it. And if you start to sell shit and it doesn't seem to work, now you've at least learned how to set up a website, how to set up a marketing funnel, how to fulfill product, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And then you could switch the product into something else, which has never been easier to do that than it is now. So whatever it is that you think you want to do, whatever it is you have a propensity to enjoy and be into is probably a good place to start. I wouldn't start with something that you're completely not interested in because there is an aspect of passion that is required, and a lot of people don't understand why. They think that passion is required so that you never have to work a day in your life because I'm just so passionate. That's not true. There are going to be days, no matter how much you love something, that you fucking hate doing it. That's the reality. But What is it that you are into right now?

What do you like to do? Back then, I like to work out. I was an athlete. I like to lift weights and be jacked and tan and shit.

But your supplements were always there.

They were always in my zone of interest. And we start there, right? So a lot of people are like, Well, I'm not really interested in anything. Well, what do you look at online? Do you look at puppies? Do you look at butterflies? What do you look at? You could be the fucking butterfly bandit, okay? You could start up a page on Pinterest with all kinds of butterfly fucking shirts and blankets and pins and pendants and this and this and this. And dude, there's enough people out there that like butterflies that you could fucking make a business out of it, okay? The point is, pick something, all right? And the reason that you should pick something that you're interested in is because there's a high likelihood that there is going to be a time from when you start to when you make good money that You struggle. And what's going to keep you interested in executing during that time? It's going to be your natural interest in the thing that you are offering. So for me, I didn't get a paycheck for the first three years I was in business. Now, we didn't have the internet like you guys have it.

What kept me going for three years? Well, I still trained, and I still took supplements, and I was still interested in it. During that three years where I made no money at all, none, I learned more and I got better, and I learned more about nutrition, I learned more about supplementation, I learned more about weight training. It gave me an excuse to even dive deeper into something I was already into and already passionate about, which then eventually That essentially made me an expert after a decade of doing that. But if you pick something that you have no interest in and no passion for, you start. And then during that time where there's no payment coming in and it's hard, like that three-year window for me, you're going to get so frustrated that you're going to change into something else. And if you do that too fast, you're not giving the idea or the plan enough time to materialize, which is going to short circuit your success anyway, because every time it gets hard, you're going to something new. It's like starting a marathon over at Mile 7. Every time you try to run a marathon, you're never going to fucking get there.

What are you interested in? What are you passionate about? What's something that you would do for free? And how can you make a business out of it? Those are some questions that I would ask. Outside of that, it doesn't really matter as long as you fucking start, and you can make adjustments as you go.

I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, our third and final question. Andy, question number three. Andy, I've started this email a couple of times, but kept deleting it. I can almost hear you saying, Quit being a bitch. Overall, it's been a great year. My wife and I I'll come to my first child in January. I'm on month 10 of staying alcohol free, down 30 pounds, and sticking to my diet, workouts, and jiu-jitsu training. I'm also keeping up with my goal of reading 10 pages a day, but the past couple of weeks have been tough. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. Every week, it feels like I'm on repeat, same work challenges, same workout, same routine. What do you do when you hit a rut? Any advice on breaking out of it? Thanks for any insight.

Well, first of all, congratulations. Ten months alcohol free, down 30 pounds. You're the first kid. Sounds like you had a great fucking year. It sounds like you're doing awesome. Now onto the rut. You're not in a rut. That's just the way shit is. When you do the same thing day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out. It gets mundane. It gets boring. This is why most people quit. This is why most people can't be successful because they cannot master the mundane nature of becoming successful. It is about day in and day out execution. And a lot of those days are going to look the exact same. So when you think that you're in a rut, what you really are is you're in a place where most other people quit because it's boring. And so you have to understand that mastering these boring days is the part that nobody else can do because they feel the same way you feel now. Even though you're winning, even though you're doing great, you are sitting there saying, Fuck, this is boring. This sucks. I don't know.

What else do you want? What else do you want, bro? You do know the answer to your own question. You need to quit being a fucking bitch. That's the reality. And by the way, there's an entire podcast on this that I did. If you want to check out that episode, it's episode 240 on the MFCEO project. That is behind the real AF feed. If you scroll all the way down, you'll hit MFCEO feed. And when you hit that, go to episode 240 and you'll listen. Because that is the nature of winning. The nature of winning is doing the exact same things at a very high level, day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out. When it gets boring and when it gets mundane, that's when everybody else fucking quits. If you can master that process, you're going to be infinitely successful because most people cannot continue to go once it's not exciting anymore. And by the way, dude, it's not going to be exciting forever. Just like any area of your life, fitness is not going to be exciting. You're not going to feel like working out every day, just like your relationship, it's not always going to be the most exciting shit in the world.

But the successful ones, the people who are successful in business, successful in training, successful in life and relationships, friendships, They understand that these mundane times are the times that count the most. But, dude, at the end of the day, dude, we have to realize that we have to look for opportunities when everybody else is going to quit, that we can continue to go, and that's one of them.

Because I feel like me and you have had a conversation about this, and this was a couple of years ago. You said something that just made sense. You were talking about I think you put it in terms of your planting season, harvest season. It's like the shit that you're doing today is not for you to reap in a week or two weeks. It's five years down the road, the work that you're putting in today. Yeah, that's right. I think Sometimes that is the misconnection a lot of people get stuck in because they fail to remember, you're not doing this for tomorrow. You're doing this for you five years from now. That's right. You know what I'm saying? Can we just dive into that a little bit, man? Because I feel like that's such an important piece there. Which part? Putting in the work and knowing what it's going to.

Well, most people don't know what it's going to because they've never experienced harvesting the results of their work because they've never done the work hard enough. So how do you train someone to understand that what they're doing now is going to pay off later if they never stuck to anything long enough to see a payoff? It's a very hard concept for them to understand. That's why you have to train them and tell them and coach them. You'd say, Hey, bro, as long as you keep going, it's going to pay off. As long as you keep going, it's going to pay off. It's going to take way longer than you think to start paying off. There's a story. I talk about it all the time, about the Chinese bamboo tree. You go out, you plant this motherfucker in the ground, and it has to be undisturbed for five years. If you go out and you dig it up and check on it, guess what? It doesn't grow. If you go out there and plow over the soil, guess what? It doesn't grow. If you forget that it's there and you build something on top, guess what?

It doesn't grow. You have to make sure it's undisturbed. You have to make sure it gets water, and you have to make sure It's cultivated properly. Then after five years, it grows to 60 to 80 feet in eight weeks. That's what your success is going to be like. It's going to be like that. You are going to work, you're going to work, you're going to work, and then you're going to see a little bit of progress. That's going to cause you to believe a little bit. You're like, Oh, shit. All right. This is actually starting to work. Then you're going to work some more, work some more, work some more, and then it's going to get even more results for the work you put in. You're going Oh, this is actually working. Then eventually, you start to realize exactly how it works. You don't doubt it anymore. Now, for me, I've been doing this a long time. I know exactly what to expect. But someone who's 20 that's never harvested, they don't know what to expect. Most of the time they quit because they think that whatever work they're doing isn't going to pay off, when in reality, dude, it's going to pay off, but it's just going to take a lot longer than you expected it to take.

This is a problem that we have with social media and all these things right now because everybody's promising the quick, easy, fast, overnight way, when in reality, that's not how it works. It just doesn't. It just doesn't work that way.

I think the instant gratification kills a lot of it.

For sure. Yeah, and it's a total lie. Look, man, the more you could delay gratification, the bigger the win is on the back end. That's the truth. Let me ask you this.

This is just like occurred to me. Do you think that The reason instant gratification works so well, negatively, obviously, but it works so well on so many people is because the opposite of instant gratification in the negative sense, whether bad shit happened, those things tend to happen so quickly or so people think. What do you mean? Negative shit just happened in your life, how quick stuff can go wrong and go bad. They assume then good shit must also occur as quick or as fast as the bad shit must happen.

I don't know. It's I guess people could think that. I don't know. I'm so far removed from that thinking. I can't remember what I thought whenever I didn't know what I know. You know what I'm saying? I know how this works. I'm not guessing. I'm not philosophizing. You look around in my life, look the fuck in my life, bro. I can't point my camera anywhere ever, and it not look like I'm bragging. That comes from me doing shit when there was nothing to show for the results and doing that for a long, long time, showing Showing up every day, doing what the fuck I thought was the right thing. Was it always the right thing? No. But I learned it wasn't, and I adjusted course, and I kept showing up, and I kept showing up, and I kept showing up. People made fun of me. I kept showing up. Girls left me. Kept showing up. People fucking gave up on me. Kept showing up. People told me I was shit. Kept showing up and doing what I need to do, and eventually it materializes. I know, because I'm me, that I don't have special skill sets that you all don't have.

The only special skill sets I have come as the result of me showing up and getting my ass kicked for way longer than anybody else is willing to do. Because there's a couple of things about me that I do have. One, I'm not a pussy. I have a lot of courage. I don't give a fuck. Number two, I'm tough. I take a fucking beating all day, over and over and over. You got to fucking kill me to stop me. You got those two things, bro. You're going to be in a good spot. And I'm telling you, a lot of you guys are smarter than me. You have more gifts than me. You have more intelligence than me. If you could just hone that in and understand the game, you're going to be super successful. The game is very simple. You got to keep showing up long after you lose interest and executing at a high level and eventually things materialize. This is why we talk about the work coming before the belief. People say, Oh, you got to believe in the beginning. No, you You don't have to believe in the beginning at all. What you have to be willing to do is trust and have faith that the work that you are doing is going to produce a result.

All right? You show up, you do the work, you go home, and nothing's happened. You show up, you do the work, you go home, nothing's happened. You do that for a long fucking time, and eventually something happens, and you're like, Oh. Then you repeat that cycle, and something more happens, and you're like, Oh. Then all of a sudden, you're producing some real results, and you're like, Oh, fuck, this is how this It works, and there's no doubt anymore. If you could just get to a point where you can remove that doubt, it's no different than someone who has to lose 100 pounds in the gym, dude. They show up on the first day and they're like, Fuck, I worked my ass off today. They're sweating, They can't breathe. The next day, they're sore as fuck. They show up, they're sweating, they can't breathe. They look the same. They do that for three or four weeks. They still look the same. And they're like, Fuck, this isn't working. And someone puts their arm around them and tells them the truth. It says, Hey, motherfucker, it takes five, six, seven weeks to even get this going because you've been a fat fuck for a long time, and it's going to take some time past what you think it's going to take to start seeing results.

So stick it out. And once we get over that hub, it's going to start accelerating tremendously. Just give it another few weeks, the dude sticks it out, the lady sticks it out. All of a sudden, they're down 30 fucking pounds, and they're like, Holy shit, this works. And then they keep going, and they transform them lives. But dude, that doesn't happen enough because most people will just quit too soon. Most people quit too soon on everything. That's what it comes down to. Their life, their marriage, their relationship, their friendship, and their business and their fitness. They quit on everything way too soon. It just takes time. I love it.

I love it, man. Guys, Andy, let's go get a Monday in, man.

All right, guys. See you tomorrow on CTI. Don't be a hoe.

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