Transcript of CARDI B: Overcoming Depression, Blocking Out the Hate & Owning Your Power

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My marriage, I felt the love dying. I was crying every day. I Felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

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Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

Cardi B, welcome Welcome to On Purpose. Hi. Oh, my gosh. I have to tell you something, and I mean this. You can go back six years when I launched the podcast. People would always ask me, they'd say, Who do you want on the show? Who would be your dream guest? And I'd always say Cardi B. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because no one would ever put us in the same room together. We're just so different externally. But I believe there's a spiritual connection that we'll find out today.

You know what's so funny? I saw a video of you, and I definitely want... I was like, I want to send it to my boyfriend. But it's about asking difficult questions. And it's like when you ask difficult questions and you get over the difficult question and you discuss the difficult questions, it really do make you stronger. It really do make the relationship stronger. It's like, oh, my gosh. It's like, is he a psychic?

Did you send it to him?

Yes.

Did you send it to your boyfriend? What did What did he say?

He was like, Yeah, exactly. And I was like, Yeah, exactly.

Did it change any behavior? We'll see on the next question. I love it. I wanted to ask you, first of all, I heard that you have a hidden talent that you can name the 46 presidents in order.

Is that real? It comes and go. I just know a lot of weird, different facts about presidents. And people will be like, But why? That is so random. When I was younger, I didn't really have like, Nintendo's, and I didn't... Sometimes I had cable and sometimes I didn't. So I just really had no choice but to read. And I like to read factual stuff. So I would just read a whole bunch of history things. Me, I will literally, when I'm bored, you know how they give you the history books in your school? I will literally read the whole history book in a week from front to back just because I'm bored.

Wow. That's impressive, though. Do you still get bored now? Do you even have time to be bored?

I don't be bored, but that's what I really just like to watch and everything. I watch it, I watch YouTube on factual things. I just get into certain topics and I always go down a rabbit hole, and then I be obsessed with it for a week, and then it's just whatever.

I feel like you can't go anywhere without being recognized. I mean, you have such an iconic look. Even today, I was admiring it when you walked in. I was like, what inspires this? But if you could be anonymous for For 24 hours, what would you do? If no one could recognize you, no one could see you, what would you do?

Well, you know what's so funny? I don't always look like this. So I usually go outside, probably with glasses or probably not, but I always go outside with an oversize hoodie. And then, I'm not even going to lie, due to COVID for a long time, it really did help using the mask. But I do a lot of things by myself with no security, just because I'm a person that if I want to go and buy a steak to cook, I will go downstairs to Whole Foods and buy it. And I don't care.

And no one will know.

And no one will see you. They might or they might not. But I feel like I already maneuver how to like, Oh, it's Cardi B. And I just walk fast and maneuver my way around.

That's impressive. Yeah. This show is all about getting to know the person behind the music, behind the stardom, behind the Fame, getting to know the human behind find it. I feel like your journey, even though you've talked about it, I'd love to dive into some parts that I find fascinating. I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you have that you think defines who you are today?

It's a lot. Well, it's not really like a childhood memory, but me and my sister, we used to go to the same school, even though she's three years younger than me. And she always be telling me this thing. She always be telling me this. She always tells me like, Oh, I used to see you in the cafeteria in the morning by yourself with your head down. I used to feel so bad for you. It's like, Why? She's like, I don't know because you just looked so lonely. I used to tell her, I was not lonely. I just always need time to think and be by myself. I'm a person that I have friends, but I don't really like to be around people that much sometimes. I'm always in my thoughts. There's like 100 people, and I feel like it's been like that since I was five years old. They talk in my head and plan things out, plan my future, plan my life. It's like I'm playing dollhouse in my head. You know when you play with your dolls and you make a scenario, not a scenario, or you build your home and this and your that.

Yeah, like a little universe.

Like a little universe. I'm always planning a universe in my head. Sometimes people say that I have an interesting look. If I'm spaced out, I'm not spaced out. I'm deep in my universe and planning five years ahead.

Wow. So you're dreaming, planning, visioning. Do these different work as different use in your head have different names or personalities or no?

No, it's not really no different personalities. It's just straight planning tomorrow, straight planning for five years, straight imagining what I want. And it's crazy because it's like everything that I planned for since I was five and dreamed of, I really got in it. Even when I was younger, I used to look at my mom and I used to be like, I want to be so pretty and beautiful like her. And I grew up to be the pretty, beautiful woman that she is. But I also wanted to be very successful. I'm not going to say rich, but very successful. I really hated being poor. I used to say is that I refuse to have kids and raise them in the hood. I have to find a way to never do that. But I always wanted kids, and I figured it out. Not only did I figure it out, but it's like I always have plan B, Cs, and Ds, but I didn't have to settle for plan B, C, and D. I settled for my dream. This is my dream job, and I have it. It's a little bit more difficult than what I saw in my dream, but I'm living it.

It's what I always wanted.

Yeah, that's incredible. As that little girl who was sitting alone that your sister said, she would see you and she'd feel sorry for you, but inside your head, you were dreaming. Was it dreaming about music? Was it dreaming about getting out of the hood? What were those dreams? What did they look like to that little girl back then?

I always felt like I was going to be a superstar. And it's so weird because my grandma, she has a lot of grandkids, but she always used to tell me that. And it's like, why you always used to tell? I don't understand why she used to tell me that all the time. I used to be Like a little black sheep. I used to like, nag a lot. I have cousins that they're very pretty. They have beautiful, beautiful eyes. They just stand out so much. And it's not that I don't stand out. It's just like, out of everybody, my grandma used to be like, You're going to be a superstar. You need to practice how to sing because you're going to be a superstar. And I just knew I was meant to be something. For some reason, me and my sister, we have really strong personalities. I feel like the things that they used to tell me, they would tell her the same thing, too. All my teachers, all my friends, they're going to be like, You're going to be somebody. You're going to be somebody someday. But I always just wonder, What is my calling?

Because I used to like acting in school, but I'm not a good actress. I used to like singing, but I'm not the greatest singer. From the pack, from the school, I'm not the greatest singer. If I were audition for a play, they will pick somebody else because they sing better than me, or they will pick somebody else because they act better than me. Then it's like, oh, people used to say, I'm so funny, but it's like, I'm not a comedian stand-out show. I'm naturally funny, but I can't see it as my job. This is just my mouth. This is just me being me. So it's like, what is my calling? I always wonder, what is my calling that everybody say that it's like, I'm going to be somebody, but what am I going to be? I don't know. And God gave it to me. God showed it to me. And God really did give it to me. And here I am. And I just can't believe that millions of people know me.

Congratulations. When I hear you say that and you always exude this confidence, you're outspoken, you're bold, was it always like that since you were a young girl or did that develop over time? Where did that come from?

I was born like this. I always been like this. I guess I got my real quiet I always got into my self-side because like I said, I be in my own universe, quiet, planning and planning. But I feel like when I open my mouth or when I am who I am, This is just how I am. But if I think about it, my family are very funny. They're very loud. My parents are a little different from each other, but they're very loud. They have very strong personalities, both of them. So I feel like it just all came into me. So it's like, you know how parents give their kids their looks? I think my parents gave me a mix of they, both personality. I'm a little bit of both of them.

Cardi B, even still today, finds time for her quiet side?

I'm naturally quiet, though.

Tell me about that. I want to know about that. I don't think people know that.

Yeah, I'm naturally in in my room, just deep in my thoughts and just deep, deep, deep. I might just talk to you the whole day as a friend on the phone, but I don't really want to see you, which is so weird. I could talk to my friends all day long, but I like to be by myself all the time.

I don't really like it. Are people surprised when they figure that out with you?

Yeah. And my friends don't feel a certain type of way about that because they know me. They know you, yeah. They know I'm not the friend that want to go out to dinner. They know that I'm not that. They know I'm not the friend that, I'm just going to go to your house and chill and blah, blah, blah. But we will be on the phone forever.

So what about parties, events, all of that stuff? Is it work? Is it networking?

I do I went to party, but sometimes I haven't even really had the time for it lately. I haven't really had the time for it. And to be honest with you, even before I was famous and everything, I wasn't really a club girl. I was already a dancer, so I work in the club. So it's like I didn't really care to like, Oh, I'm going to the club today for what? I work in it. I always been like a person that just work, work, work, work, work your picture, just focus on the biggest thing. I always wanted kids. So the goal is to be comfortable before the kids get here. That was always my goal. My goal was always to be a mother, but having your own. I had my own before I became a mother.

Yeah. I mean, you said just a few moments ago that you didn't want to raise kids in the hood. Talk to me about what we don't know about that. How hard was it? What was it that was so bad that you were like, I could never raise my kids in the place I grew up in?

It's just a lot of things. Sometimes when kids are bad or they get into trouble, people automatically blame the parents. And you could have the best parents. My parents, they not criminals. They have never even committed a crime. My grandma used to tell my mom a lot, You're pretty for no reason. I feel like they used to tell her that because it's like, She's so pretty. Caribbean folks is like, When you're pretty and you're this and that. It's like they always expect you to be with a man that got a lot of money. And my mom, she was never even that type of person. She was a very modest and honest, hardworking woman. And my dad, he's a good man. He's a party animal, but he's a good different men. He's a good person. He's a good dad. However, you will end up going in the wrong path or going in the wrong direction because the influence around you, because certain peer pressure, or because you almost have no choice, especially if you're a boy. You never know if you're going to have a boy or a girl, especially if you're a boy. And when you are a girl, it is a little bit difficult.

It is a little bit tougher. I feel like people just grow a little bit in the hood. When I was 11 years old, there was girls in my class in the sixth grade, 11 years old. I have nieces that are 11 years old. They all they want to do is play Roblox nowadays. But when I was 11 years old, There was girls that were already at 11 in sixth grade. So it's like you go certain path or your environment. Boys, too, in the hood, They're a little faster. So you will be walking down the block and the typical little bad boy, he'll slap your ass out of nowhere. He'll slap your ass out of nowhere. You start arguing with him. He'll smack the shit out of your face. That's how boys A lot of boys in the Bronx are. They're very aggressive. They're aggressive with girls. They're aggressive. They're grouped out. They grope you. You just never know. One of the reasons also why I'm so witty with my mouth, people were like, Why are you so witty? Why are you so thin? Going to school, it was almost like... I think that's why I'm always so tough.

Boys or girls, mostly boys, they used to make fun of certain things, but not only just me to everybody. You look at your shoes, they're leaning, look at your hair, your hair is never not done. I used to go home and I used to go in the mirror and practice my jokes. And the next day, I will be like, All right, I can't wait till he flame me. I got a joke or two for him. That's why I'm so witty, too, as well. So it's like, I don't want to raise my kids in that type of environment. I don't want to. And then on top of that, it is fun. I had a lot of fun in the hood, but it's not fun for me, right? It's not fun living in an apartment, right? And contrary to what I say, I don't cook, I don't clean, I grew up with a mom that will make me brush the corners, the corners of the apartment, like brush it by hand. That's how clean my home had to be, my crib had to be. Every day I was doing dishes, every day I was mopping floors, every day I was making sure that I go outside to the parking lot and take off the garbage.

And even though no matter how clean your apartment is, There will still be roaches. There will still be mices because your neighbor is probably a hoarder. The person downstairs is dirty. You all live in the same building. You cannot avoid certain rodents and stuff. And it's like, I don't want to put my kids through that. And it's like, I have to find another way. And then another thing that always gets me in my head is this one time, my mom, she was working very hard, but we still needed help. So she went to welfare there to get a benefit card and stuff like that. And the lady, my mom, she's the type of person. It's like, if you're rude to her, she going to be like, Oh, I don't got to take this. And she would just storm out. I don't got to take. Nobody going to talk to me like that. She got a very strong character. And this lady was talking so rude and so nasty to my mom, and she was taking it because we needed the help. I don't want nobody to feel like they have to talk to me a certain type of way because I need the help.

And it's like, this could never, ever be me. I would never want to be in a situation where I have to go get welfare. And the social worker is talking to me like, I'm a dog. I got to need you. And I just felt so bad for my mom because she just felt so... I could tell her face that she was just looking for the papers that she needed. That vision is always in my head, and it's like, it be getting me mad. I hope that lady, I want to punch in her face to this day. And I don't want that. I ain't wanted that. And as a woman, even if you get with a man with money, you should have your own. Because one thing you learn from young, one thing I learned from having aunts, you You can have a man with money. You can have a kid with money. If you stop doing what that man ask you to do, or if that man decides to leave, or if you deal with a man from the streets and you go to jail, that's your child. That's you. That's your responsibility. That's your hustle.

You got to grind for that child. It's always two parents, but sometimes not really two parents. And that could be alive right there and then, that's where you always got to have your own. It's not even about, Oh, I don't need a man. I don't need the father. I don't need the thing. But sometimes they get to the point that it's like, they're going to make you feel that way. That's why you need it. I had cousins and I had aunts, and I have it that is like they Man, have a little bit of money, have a little bit of land, have a little bit of this. And when those men are done and through with you and put you off the Ringer, it's like, Yeah, I'm not dealing with that kid no more. Or like, You get these $200 every three, four months when I want you to. I'm not dealing with that shit. That's why I was like, but I always wanted to have kids. So it's like, I have to have my own shit before I become a mom. And that's exactly what happened. And I only have one kid. I have three kids.

And that's exactly Not exactly the number that I want, but I always wanted a big family. I love family. I love family. And there's a higher possibility that I won't be in a living assistant home with all the kids. How many kids do you want? I want six.

Okay, so three more.

I want three more kids.

Three more kids. I love that for you. Hearing you say that, as I was listening to you, I could tell there's You can almost vision what that life was like. And there's a part of you that's so happy you got out at the same time. There's such a part of it that's there inside of you that you've been fighting against, you've been breaking out of for all of these years. When was the moment you felt like, I'm out, like I broke out? When was that moment where you really felt like, I did it, I'm out, I made it, I'm safe now?

It's crazy because every single One time I felt like I was safe, I really wasn't.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah. When I got on TV, when I first got on TV, I was like, did I make it? I didn't feel like I made it because I used to see girls go on reality TV shows, and then they will end up right back in the strip club where I was at. So I never felt like it's like, oh, on TV, I made it. It's like, I'm almost there, but I didn't make it. Then when I got signed to a label, it's like I'm almost near making it. Because I'm signed, but I'm not where I want to be. Where I really felt like I made it was when Borak Yellow came out. The million that I made, the first real million that I made, I had to share with nobody. I had to share with managers because they signed me to something. It's mine. It's mine. But I never felt comfortable. I still, to this day, don't feel comfortable, especially with how everybody just trying to take it from you all the time. It's like fight every day to keep this level of success because people want to take it from you so bad. People just feel like they could tell you when you deserve to have this success because It just looks so easy, but it's not.

It really is not. It's a challenge to stay here. It's a challenge to stay relevant. It's a challenge to keep your mental health right. Is it a challenge to getting up. Every day is a challenge. It's a job. Everybody has a job. You can't complain about getting up and doing a job. The only thing I could complain about is millions of people that love you and then millions of people getting in your head and telling you that you don't deserve your job that you work hard for. That's what it is. We all have jobs. That's what it is about being a girl. Don't complain to them. Everybody wants to complain, I work so hard, I work so hard, I work so hard. You have to work hard to pay your bills. But when you work hard and people tell you that you don't deserve the success that you have and you don't deserve to do what you do after you put in so much work, that's what fits with you, for real.

What makes you feel like that every day? What are the things that make you feel like there's people constantly coming at you? What does that look like in your life?

I tell This is something that been going on for a hot minute. A lot of people think that I put out music, that I'm going to put out an album, that I don't be putting out this and that because, I don't know, they always say that I'm always getting pregnant all the time. But I don't think people follow timelines. When it comes to having kids, I'm very seasoned by now. I'm very seasoned right When I had my child at the beginning, I canceled going on a tour with Bruno Mars because it was my first time having a kid. I did not know anything. I didn't have no nanny, no night nurse. I was figuring out all by myself. I was figuring out postpartum. I was figuring out everything, right? But even when I had a child, it didn't stop me. Three months after I gave birth, I was doing shows, four or five shows a week into COVID. Then COVID happened, and I put out this big record, WAP, and I put it up. Then I got pregnant. People thought that I didn't put out an album because I got pregnant. But the reason why I didn't put out an album is because I didn't have a body of work.

I just didn't have a body of work, so I couldn't put out no music because I didn't have a body of work. Then last year, I was planning to have an album. I was planning to put out an album, but I couldn't focus. I felt in the deepest depression that I had ever had. And with that depression, I couldn't function. I couldn't function at nothing. And when I talk about function, it's not even like, oh, just working. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do nothing. So that just halted everything that I had. So it's not really because of having a baby. Sometimes, too, I don't be wanting to put music because I love being in the studio and I love creating music and I love perfecting my craft. And that's like baking a cake. You bake a cake, you practice baking a cake, you practice baking a cake. And then when you put out the songs, sometimes it be good. And sometimes people would just be like, We hate it and she shouldn't be doing this. And that's like you're baking a cake. You bake a cake, you bake a cake, and people eat the cake, and then people be like, This is the worst cake ever.

And they splat it. Have you ever seen the Simpson? When they splat the cake, that's how I be feeling. And it's like, that is the worst feeling ever. That's like a guy, you think you have the best pussy in the world, and they tell you your pussy's trash. You should never fuck nobody no more. That's just how I feel. You work, you work, you work, you try it on your best to perfect your craft. And somebody just tell you, You shouldn't be doing this. You should never do this ever in your life. It brings you down so much, and it fits with your mental so much that it's like, this is why I avoid it, just for a peace of mind. Just for a peace of mind. I have been okay for almost a year. After I gave birth to my daughter, I was a little happy. I was going outside. I started dating. I started feeling really good. Sometimes I had bad days. Sometimes I have good days because I feel like I'm resetting in life. Last week when I put out a song, and it's not really the criticism in the song, the way that people ate me up, tore me up, chew me up just because of one song, I feel like I didn't deserve that, especially for a song that I put so much work in that I just was like, this is why I don't really put music like this because I remember how this used to feel.

This is a very terrible feeling to have. This is a very terrible feeling to have. And you tell yourself, a lot of these people that are telling you these type of things don't have no jobs, don't have no titles, don't have no this. But when it's millions and millions and hundreds of thousands of people, not only are they criticizing the song, they're criticizing you as a whole. It's just be like, this is why I don't really put things up too much. Because it's just the mental health, the peace of mind, it's so much... You just got to ask yourself sometimes, is it even worth it? Is it even worth it? Because I haven't felt down like last week for a very long time, for almost like a year. Almost like a year. Wow.

When news broke earlier this year that Baby KJ, a newborn in Philadelphia, had successfully received the world's first personalized gene editing treatment, it represented a milestone for both researchers and patients. But there's a gripping tale of discovery behind this accomplishment and its creators. I'm Evan Ratliff, and together with biographer Walter Isaacson, we're delving into the story of Nobel Prize winner Jennifer Doudna, the woman who's helped change the trajectory of humanity. Listen to On CRISper, the story of Jennifer Doudna with Walter Isaacson on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The risks they took would be unthinkable to any doctor today, but odds are someone you know is alive because of them. Welcome to the Wild West of American Medicine. I'm Chris Pine, and this is Cardiac Cowboys, a podcast that tells the gripping true story behind the birth of open heart surgery and the maverick surgeons who made it happen.

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Talk to me about that depression. For you, as confident as you are, as bold as you are, to be so vulnerable, and I'm so sorry you went through that, but to be so honest and open about the fact that a year ago, you were in this dark depression, and it seems like the worst it had ever been. What got you there? Why were you feeling so low?

It was just a lot of pressure from my career, and I also felt like my marriage, I felt the love dying from my end, from his end, I was very lonely because I Choose to be lonely. Choose to be lonely. I was saying, You know what? I can't go through this anymore. I have to put a stop to it. But when I said I was going to put a stop to it because you could say you're going to put a stop to it, and you could go a month without being around somebody. It's not when you say so. It's when your heart say so. I kept telling myself, I will not contact this person for a I will not give in. I will not forgive this easy. I will not go back. I will not go to the pattern. I will not go through it. But I was crying every day. I was hurt every day. I was out here in LA in a mansion by myself. I was thinking about it every single day. And when your heart is not done, your heart is not done. Then I told myself, I'm pregnant. I'm going to accept my flaws, the flaws that I bring in this marriage.

I'm going to apologize for it, and I'm going to work on it. When I take accountability and you take advantage of me taking accountability and you take that as a, See, I know she be back instead of me taking accountability and you taking advantage of that, it really just killed everything. While it was dying, I had a human growing in me, and I I just kept thinking, was life going to be without this person? Was life going to be without raising my last child without this person? Was life going to be with that person not being my friend anymore without nothing? When you have those type of thoughts, it will make you sad, it will get you depressed, it will have you lost. But I overcame that, and I am the strongest that I have ever been. I almost feel like... When was I ever my strongest? I felt my strongest when I was 22, 23, 24. That's when I felt like my strongest, and I was living in a power. And that's how I feel right now. I feel like I live in a power. And it took months for the heart to say, You're done, instead of my mouth and my brain.

My heart had to be like, You're done. Because you could say it and you could take actions. But even if you take actions, if you're not done, you're not done. I kept asking, around that time, I was working with Shakira, and I was like, How the fuck did you overcame this? How did you overcame this? And it's like, it's going to happen. And it's like, it will never happen. And it happened. It took some crying. It took some thoughts, scary thoughts. But I'm here, honey. I'm here and I'm the strongest I've been, and I'm just...

I love hearing that.

But it was hard.

I can tell. I could see it as I'm speaking to you, it's not easy. And I think those moments in all of our lives are the most difficult moments. What did you do for your mental health at that time? What did you do? What actions did you take? What did you have to do to keep yourself together and come back the strongest you are right now? I think there are so many people who are listening who have probably been through similar things, who feel broken, feel hurt, feel lost and confused. What worked for you that helped you come back the strongest you've ever been?

I don't know if it was just time because I did a little bit of everything. I did do therapy. I did see a therapist. She's really good, by the way. It was on Zoom, and It was like, I was telling myself, I can't believe I'm telling a whole stranger my feelings, my thoughts, my personal business for three fucking hours straight.

I was just like, What the fuck am I doing?

That just feels so weird. I did therapy. I did a couple of sessions. They gave me no nothing. I was all spring, all summer, recording. It just wasn't enough. I just felt like I just had to let it die on its own, let things die on its own. The bad thing about it is that it's like, not only am I dealing dealing with that, that's my personal life. I was also dealing with fans putting pressure on me because they want an album, they want products for me. I had people that don't like me talking down on me. And then I had peers trying to start problems with me. And all of that while I was going through a mental breakdown at home. So it was just a lot. It was like, I'm trying to work it. I'm trying to sleep it. After I gave birth to my daughter, my baby girl, I was just like, take a break from work. And I was just going out every weekend with my friends. It was scary talking to somebody else and giving them a little piece of me, not just my heart, just a little piece of me.

But I overcame that. And that's why I feel like I just became a little bit more better, just resetting.

Yeah, it's a good reminder that time is the ultimate reset, and time does have a healing power that we... The cliché of time heals all wounds. But it's the truth. Yeah, it's a cliché because there's truth in it. There's some reality in it, that time and distance and being patient enough. I was working with a client recently who was going through a breakup, and when we would speak in the first month, She would tell me every single day that she couldn't stop thinking about the guy she was breaking up with. That broke up with her. And then the second month, she'd tell me every other day. And then the third month, she'd tell me once a week. And then the fourth month, she was just telling me once a month. And I was like, you don't see it, but I see that it's affecting you less and less and less as time goes on. But when it's you, you feel like you're just still stuck there. And so it's such a great reminder that time is the ultimate reset and time does heal.

And just because time heal, in the meantime, don't think that you shouldn't try to get help because it's like, therapy didn't really help me like that.

It didn't work for you.

Not as Not much. Well, maybe because I didn't get to the part of where you get the help. I mean, I did do this like six sessions. I don't know how for long. Sometimes when I Give advice to girls. I be like, Bitch, boss up. Boss up, go to work, get pretty. But even when I was doing that, I had a pain in my heart. Sometimes when I was going out with my friends and I was having a good time, it will always be around 4: 30 AM when it's time to go home, and I'm drunk, and I'm thinking to myself, I am alone. I don't have nobody to talk to. And it feels really weird, and it feels very lonely Especially when you're used to that. However, don't avoid that. Don't avoid that. But it will be time that will heal it. It will be time. Time just heals everything.

When you said, again, last week, you were saying when you put new music out, it was the lowest you'd felt in another year. What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism? Because like you said, you're quick with it. You've got responses. You've lived in a place where you had people coming at you. Why is it so hard to put out something you love? It seems like you really put your heart into your work. And so when you put that out, is that why the criticism hurts the most? Because you put so much heart and soul into your work?

Yes, because I put a lot. I'm not a lazy person, and I do understand my flaws. Well, it's not really my flaws because a lot of people will say something about my accent, right? But it's funny because my accent to some people might be my flaw, but it's also my superpower and what makes me unique. Some people will say that I have a Spanish accent, but I really don't really have a Spanish accent. I have a very unique accent. I talk very unique. When you try your best to perfect your accent, perfect your flows, perfect everything. I always try to perfect everything that I'm doing at the time. I I'm just trying to perfect it. Even when I was a stripper, it's like, Okay, I'm a stripper, but I'm going to be the best pole dancer in here. I'm going to fucking bust my ass, bust my knees, practice every and to be the best at it. That's the same with music. I'm going to perfect it. That's the same with my marketing. I'm going to perfect it. That's the same with my business. I'm going to perfect it. I like to perfect things. If it's not the best things, if I'm not the best at it, I could say that I tried to be and I worked my ass off to be, and I didn't make it easy for myself.

So when people just throw it in your face and then make other narratives on top of it with that, it's like, that is so mean. And it's also different narratives of you. It's like, wow, you don't even know me. You don't even know me, and you're making all these stories, scenarios, all this diss over one song. For example, when I did this song and people didn't like this song, so many people was like, they just... Cardi never deserved to be a rapper. They just made it so easy for her. And it's funny because it's like this shit was not given to me. I worked my ass off for me and I planned it. Just like you see when I was a little girl, I used to plan everything. I planned every step, every single step. And I might even be inspirational to other artists coming up because for a long time, since I have such a big personality, people just feel like She's funny, she's funny, she's funny. So it was really hard for labels to take me serious. And some labels were trying to give me scraps to do a slavering record deal. And even when I was on TV and I thought it was going to be my big break for people to recognize me as an artist.

It wasn't. I was doing good numbers on my mix tape. It wasn't enough. So the money that I was getting for partying and hostings, I took that money. I made my own concerts. And the best thing about it is that everything is documented. I did my own concerts. 500 to 400 people in New York, 800 people came out. Singing my songs. And I went to a label and I was like, This is why you need to sign me. It's not just fucking Instagram. It is real life. And the $15 That's what I'm saying. The $1,000 that I used to get for hosting parties, I used it to rent cars, rent busses, rent venues to perform my songs, to show these labels. It's like, I'm the one. This shit ain't fake. This shit ain't a personality thing. This ain't a love and hip hop thing. This is what my music is doing. This is the people singing it and doing all of that and not being this far after you plan everything and people will tell you that you don't deserve it and you got it because of this, this, and that. That pisses me the fuck off because everything that I did is documented.

This shit wasn't given to me. I didn't open my legs for it neither. So that's the type of shit that be getting me angry. It's like, don't tell me that I didn't put the fucking work in. When I put the work in, there's days that I miss. I miss birthdays, I miss I miss family events. This shit has gotten in the way of my personal relationships, marriage and everything. Just for somebody to tell me, somebody that never did shit in their motherfucking life to tell me that I don't deserve it, Get the fuck out of here.

Absolutely. You know what, though? I also find that Instagram and TikTok or whatever platform it is, the comments that are negative are just loud because you can literally go to someone's comment section and see negativity or whatever. But then, like you said, you go to an arena and everyone in the arena is screaming their name and singing their songs. And so it is this really weird thing that happens for the mind where you're watching your page or you're watching yourself on someone else's page and there's criticism, but then actually there's all these other people that love you. The negativity and the hate is just so loud. It is loud. People say stuff. Yeah. Whereas the people that love you, they just press the heart. So it's always like that weird thing where I'm like, The mind just overvalues negative feedback and undervalues the positive feedback because the negative feedback is just so critical and loud and heavy. When you reflect on it and after you think about it for a week, do you think I want to prove them wrong or do you go, actually, who cares about them? Where do you end up after a week of reflecting on it?

Last week, I was in tears. And I was telling myself, not Not only myself, I told this to my friend, actually. I told this to my friend. I was like, Sometimes people say, Don't let the devil win. But what happens if you let the devil win? Maybe I need to let the devil win so I can have a peace of mind. And then I'm thinking to myself, Why the fuck would I ever say, Let the devil win? Imagine praying to God on your feet knees every single night asking God, God, please bless me with this. God, please give me that. God, please give me this. Please give me that. Please bless me with this. Please bless me with that. Just so you could... Everything that God gave you, tell the devil, here, you could have it. Because he's sending Sometimes the devil sends evil in human forms and human mouths and human's tongue just so you could tell the devil to have it. Imagine how God feels. Imagine God be like, All All right, baby. All right, girl. Here, here, here, here, have this. You wanted this? Here's what you get. It's like he's giving you something, and then you go to school and they be like, That's ugly.

And that's something that you've been asking him for a long time, and now you don't like it because somebody told you that it's ugly.

Yeah, well said.

And it's like, how do I almost let the devil win? And I was telling myself that. I was telling myself that. And like I said, I was telling it, but Sometimes you got to believe it from the heart because your mind could tell you it, your mouth could say it, but you got to believe it from the heart. This week, though, I feel so much better and I feel so much confident. I was like, I'm not going to let the devil win. I'm not going to be like, You know what? I was telling my team, I was like, You know what? I just need some days off. It's like, How the are you going to take some days off when your team been planning all of these things that you had to do for your album roll out because of these people that are spewing things that the devil I want you to think of yourself? I almost let this motherfucker win.

Don't let the devil win.

Because how you think God feel? How you think God feel, Cardi? Gave you all this shit you've been asking for forever, just so you could say that. That really pissed me off about myself because I can't believe I said that.

Well, no, I think it's human. I mean, even as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking everyone will be relieved because when someone is confident and as bold as you are and as outspoken as you are, which are all amazing qualities, the truth is, though, that we all have these human moments. It's not a weakness. It's natural for all of us to feel pain, to experience That's what it is, that you feel that. It's a lot of sadness to experience. It humanizes you in a good way. It makes me feel like, Oh, wow, if Cardi feels that, then, Hey, I can feel that, too. If she goes through those days and she gets out of them, and a week later, she's feeling better, and a year ago, she was in a real mess and she's feeling better, then maybe I can take something from that as well.

I'm not a perfect person. You know what I'm saying? I'm not a perfect person. Sometimes I'm a little bit misunderstood.

How do you think you're misunderstood?

I don't even want to bring this up again, but it's like I could tell you how I'm misunderstood. I actually got dragged for weeks because of this. I think I'm just a little misunderstood. Sometimes I don't have I'm not a dark humor person. I'm not a dark humor person, but sometimes my humor could be a little rough, and I feel like my humor could be a little rough because, like I said, boys in the Bronx, they will make really tough jokes on you. Then on top of that, it's like a family like mine, we're always cracking jokes on each other. Being Caribbean, Caribbean people, if you're too skinny, they'll be like, Girl, you're shaped like a candle. You're shaped like a fucking candle, just small like a fucking candle, like a white candle. Or like Dominicans, when you're shaped big from the top and small in the bottom, they'll be like.

What does that mean?

It's a certain type of yam. Okay. And it's rude, but it's just something that is people just joke around that it's just so naturally. So sometimes my jokes might be a little bit not for everybody. And when I make certain jokes, I made a joke the other day with my fans because they literally started the joke. And then I continued the joke. And because of the joke and I refused to apologize for it, people were just saying that I'm just such a mean person, that I was trying to bully people, that I'm hurtful with the people. But it's like, I wasn't even trying to hurt nobody. My intent wasn't to hurt nobody. It's just like everybody naturally jokes with their friends. Everybody naturally jokes with their peers. Everybody just might say not the most nicest jokes or stuff like that. However, I'm not trying to hurt nobody. I don't want to hurt nobody. And so many people criticize me because of that or judge my character because of that. But it's like, I'm not this evil, mean person that people think that I am. I'm very actually compassionate. I'm too compassionate. That's why I cry for...

There's something that might be going on in the other side of the world. I'm crying for it. It's like, why am I crying for this? This is crazy. I'm very compassionate, and I'm very I'm a Libra, so I see always two sides of the scale. I always have sympathy, just a little. I even have sympathy for bitches. I have sympathy for bitches that my man, and they have taken a family loss. I'm like, damn, I feel bad for her. That's how sympathetic I am.

Why do you feel sympathy for them? Where does that come from? Or what do you feel?

I don't know. It's just...

It's just how you're made.

That's just how That's just how I'm made or stuff. That's just how I am. However, people just have this thought of me, and that's because my mouth is so rough. I'm a little rough and I curse like a sailor. I give advice Very strong. But everybody in my family give advice very strong. I don't have yes men's neither. So my friends will give me advice in the most rudest way. That is like, damn, bitch, do you like me? But it's the truth. And that's just how I am. That's how I'm going to talk to you. And that's just how I am because it's the truth.

And you like that with everyone. It doesn't change for anyone.

And I like that with everyone.

How about the kids?

I'm like that with my kids, too. Like, you little f. God damn it, I'm tired. But you can tell me I'm a bad mom. I'm a great mom. If I'm good at something, it's being a mom. But sometimes I'll be like, get the f, you little f. Get the f. God damn it, I'm sick of you. But that's just how I talk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does that make me a bad mom? I don't think I'm a bad mom. Shit. I give them too much to be a bad mom.

It's funny you said that. I was talking to a parenting expert on the podcast a few weeks ago, and she was saying that parenting is the most inconvenient thing. She goes, You love them, but they're inconvenient. It's hard if you're honest about it. There's a real feeling about how tough being a mom is. How do you balance being a superstar and being a mom? You said it yourself. You want to be the best at everything. When you do something, you want to be the best at it. So I assume that applies to being a mom, too. Yeah. And so it's like, how do you do that? What is it to you? What makes you a great mom? What are the parts that you focus on? And how do you balance those two crazy worlds?

I think that what makes me I think that's what makes me a good mom. I don't give my kids... It's not that I give my kids everything, but they just think I'm so funny. Even when I curse at them, they just think I'm so funny. And it's like, I'm being serious with you all, but they just love me. I don't know why they... I mean, of course, I know why they love me, but it's like, Why you all love me so much? I guess I'm a good mom because they love me so much. They just think I'm so entertaining. They think I'm so fun. Even when we're just laying in bed, they just want to lay in bed with me. There ain't no target. We ain't going to the goddamn target. We ain't going to the target. Don't ask me for no motherfucking goddamn Roblox. That's exactly how. Don't come in here asking me for no goddamn Roblox. You ask me one more time for an iPad for one of your cousins, we're going to have a problem. This is exactly how I talk to my kids. And they still love me. They just love me.

I don't know. They love me for who I am. They love me. I don't even know how to explain it. I do give them everything, though. But not giving them everything doesn't always make you the greatest mom because it's like you've seen cases where the parents work so hard. They give their kids everything, and it's not enough. Like them two brothers, what's they called again?

Oh, yeah. The Menendez brothers.

Yeah, you could give them everything. But if they don't love you. They just don't love you. I don't know. They just love me. I just always remind them that I love them, but I will curse them out, though.

I had this overwhelming sensation that I had to call her right then, and I just hit call, said, Hey, I'm Jacob Schick. I'm the CEO of One Tribe Foundation, and I just wanted to call and let her know. There's a lot of people battling some of the very same things you're battling, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a nonprofit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Shick week as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

I was married to a combat army veteran, and he actually took his own life to suicide.

One Tribe saved my life twice.

There's a lot of love that flows through this place, and it's sincere.

Now it's a personal mission.

I don't have to go to any more funerals. I got blown up on a React mission.

I ended up having amputation below the knee of my right leg and a traumatic brain injury because I landed on my head. Welcome to season 2 of The Good Stuff. Listen to The Good Stuff podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Have you ever looked at a piece of abstract art or music or poetry and thought, that's just a bunch of pretentious nonsense? Well, that's exactly what two bored Australian soldiers set out to prove during World War II. When they pulled off what was either a bold literary hoax or a grand poetic experiment, publishing over a dozen intentionally bad but highly acclaimed works of expressionist poetry under the name Eireann Malley in an incident that caused a media firestorm and even a criminal trial. The E. A. N. Mali episode made foules of believers and critics alike and still fascinates poetry lovers to this day. We break down the truth, the lies, and the poetry in between on Hoax, a new podcast hosted by me, Lizzy Logan. And me, Dana Schwartz. Every episode, Hoax Explores an audacious fraud or ruse from history, from forged artworks to the original fake news, to try and answer why we believe.

Listen to Hoax on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season 4 is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chismet. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, we're not doing that this season.

Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it.

Get in here.

Today, we have a very special guest with us. Our new Super Secret bestie is the diva of the people.

The diva of the I'm just like, text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it.

Go and figure it out for yourself.

Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curly. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreak, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Supersecret Bestie Club as a part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

What's a quality or a skill that you have that you really want them to learn and develop and grow as they get older? I know they're young right now, but- Please don't be a bum.

Please don't be a bum. Please don't be lazy. Some people have the look, the intelligence, the talent. Some people really have that, but they don't go nowhere because they're lazy. Don't be lazy. Don't just be all your parents are this and that. No, be your own person. Be your own human. Be something. Be something. Be something that you could be proud of. My mom, she was a lunch lady, practically. But I am very proud of my mom because she used to work her ass off. She could have went to my grandma like, I'm going through a tough time right now. Can you raise my kids for a year or two? She never did that. My grandmother's as well One of them got 10 kids, the other one got 13 kids. They work every day. My grandma from my dad's side, she gave birth on her kids in her wooden house. And then a couple of days later, she working back in the farm. And she brought all her kids to America one by one, different time. Same with my grandma. From my mom's side, she had 13 kids. She used to cook, cook, cook, sell food, sell food, sell food.

She brought all her 13 kids over here. There's no excuse. But I could say that because they did that. And you're going to be able to say that about me. It's like, My mom worked every day. I seen my mom work every day. Be that. Be that. One day you're going to have kids one day, and you want your kids to say that about you. That you worked hard every day. That everything you got, you deserve it. That you made it. Nobody gave it to you. You don't want to be like, Oh, you're just successful because you're a home man. Like, I have a son. You don't want nobody to say that you fly and you fire because you're somebody's son. No, I'm fly because I'm my own man. I made myself a man. I work my ass off. You don't have a bitch one day. You don't want your bitch to be like, Oh, he a mama boy. He a daddy's. No, I'm a hard working man, baby girl. You can get the fuck on. Same with my daughters. They're going to roll you over because you got your own shit. You're more than just a pretty face.

Be a boss. Be something. Please. I don't give a fuck what they do, whatever the fuck. Just do not have that lazy bone on you. Ain't no way that I'm busting my ass for you motherfuckers just so you could end up not being shit. I'm giving you everything. Even when they're 18 and stuff like that and it's time to leave, if you want an apartment, if you want a car, I'll give it to you. But please, please become something. Please don't be nothing. That would be the worst disappointment they could ever do. Don't disappoint me like that. Whatever the fuck you all do, just don't be a nothing.

If you give it to them, though, don't you think they'll be lazy then? Because if you give them an apartment and you give them a car, then they'll feel like, Well, I don't need to work because mom's got me.

No, because it's like, all right, for example, I went to college, right? But I had to drop out of college because I had to work to just feed myself. If you got a crib and if you could maneuver to college or you probably want to open up a business or something, if you can maneuver and you don't got to worry about a bill, then it becomes easier for you. But don't make me give you an apartment or a car and you're just out here not doing shit. I better every single time I FaceTime you, you better be motherfucking doing something. If you're in bed, I 12: 00 PM? Yeah. Ain't that car under my name? It's always coming with me. You need the real world. I'm not going to go to your daddy. Let me go into your fucking daddy. I will take the shit away. I don't play that. You ain't going to be nothing.

Yeah, you're clear about that.

You're clear about yourself. You got two feet, you got two hands, you got a brain. You better do some shit.

Yeah, for sure. I It sounds like I started working when I was 14. I used to deliver newspapers at the time. And then I started working at a grocery store. I used to work at the back and stack the shelves, pick up all the pallets, bring all the goods in, work back of house. And then I worked and sold jeans at some jeans shop. I found working since I was 14 is what made me realize the value of work. And I've been working hard ever since. And if I didn't start working hard at 14, I feel like... My parents didn't have anything to give me either. But I feel like That work ethic has to start early.

It do have to start early. And that's why it's like, sometimes, here comes my parents sometimes. My parents, they begin on my nerves sometimes. They begin on my nerves sometimes because my kids, they have school till 3: 00 PM, right? And after school, I don't care. And I don't want you all at home talking about like, I'm a little tough and shit. I don't give a fuck. This is what I work hard for. After school, my kids, four times a week, they have tutoring, reading, math, whatever the fuck. They have tutoring, mandatory in my house. Then, Coach will have piano or she got gym class. Wave, he got sports class, and he still got to do the tutoring. And I'm sleepy. I don't want to hear that I don't want to hear that shit. It's discipline. It got to be in you, and you have to be better than me. I want you to be better than me. There's things that I cannot do that I want my kids to do. I don't know how to swim. I would love to swim. But the one time I went to a pool in Highbridge, there was a crazy fight that broke out.

People was getting cut left to right. So I couldn't go swimming because I had no pool. If I have a pool, you're You're going to learn how to swim. You're going to take your swimming classes. I'm not really good with my feet. So you're going to take dance classes because if you ever want to be a superstar, that shit going to be in you, then you are the answer. I want you to be smarter than me. I could read down, but my grandma's not that great. I want you to be not perfect because you cannot make your kids perfect, and you don't want to put pressure on your kids perfect. But I want you to be a hundred times better version than me. And I'm going to install that in you. And you're going to be mad and you're going to be crying, but you're going to appreciate that one day. Because I wish the things that I put on my kids, that somebody put in me when I was younger. But they couldn't put that in me when I was younger because they couldn't afford it. And they couldn't really have time to be like, Buckleys, Buckleys, Buckleys, Hennessy, Hennessy, Hennessy, because they had to work.

I have to work, but I'm going to give you classes for Grab me something, boy. Grab me something, girl. I'm playing with you all.

I love it. I love it. Success is so much of who you are. It's who you breathe. It's what you do. What makes Cardi B happy?

It's little elements. My kids make me very happy. They're just so fucking cute and funny. And they say stupid stuff.

What do they say?

Just things that is Girl, what? It's funny. It's funny seeing your kids grow and develop a little character in them. When my baby, she be hitting her brother, her sister, it be so funny to me because it's like a baby and they're just there taking it. To me, little things like that is funny and makes me happy. Romance, you know what I'm saying? When I'm in love and when we're having a good week, when you showing that you care That makes me happy. Actually, when I did saw a piece of an interview with Selena Gomez and you, when she said, I might have a 14-hour day and just one phone call and knowing somebody's there for you, it's a good feeling. That's a good feeling as well. What else is a good feeling for me? When I'm with my cousins, when I'm with my family, and we were just cracking jokes, and it just feels like childhood. It makes me happy. Music make me very happy. I love music. When me and my team, we plan something, we put in so much work and it goes good, that makes me happy. That makes me happy, the team happy, and it motivates me and it motivates my team.

And it's just like, We did it. So stuff like that makes me happy. Seeing Between all the work that you do and the time that you put, the process, the progress that you put, and it hits, it's successful, that makes you really happy. It's like, Thank God. Thank you, Jesus. It makes you want to keep going.

That's a good list. Yeah. That's a good list. I like it. It's all connection. It's all real. It's human. It's love. It's family. It's friends. It's intimacy. It is all the most beautiful things that we're all looking for. How do you see love now? How do you define love?

Effort. It's not going to always be perfect. Effort is a lot to me. It means a lot to me. Like calling me, studying me, personality as well. I love me a joke. I love me a he he he. You know what I'm saying? If I come to you and I'm in tears, when was it last week? I saw my little boyfriend. I saw my boyfriend, and I was in tears. I was like, it's so much pressure on me. It's so much pressure on me. And just one little joke. I'm in tears. I forgot the joke, but it was so funny. That's good, though. And Coming out of my nose. It made me laugh. It just made me feel good. And it's just like, you know what? Things are going to be okay.

Someone who can make you laugh, cry, and someone who can be there for you when you're crying real hard tears. Yeah. I like that. And I like effort. I like what you said study you. That was really interesting. Now, I've never heard that before, but I like it. The idea that if someone loves you, they study you. What does that mean to you? Tell me about that. I like that one a lot.

Certain things are just the obvious. You know what I'm saying? Certain things is like, are you really studying me or it's just the obvious? For example, if you get me a purse, if you get me a Birkin or a Kelly, it makes me happy, of course. Which woman or a bag make them happy? But you know that that's what I like. It's not like you study it. It's like you see it on my page. But when you do things that you don't normally do, but you're doing it because you heard me talk about this. When you rent a castle, and I know you don't want to be in this old ass castle that you literally got to go up and down the stairs just so you could pee, and it's high, and there's no air conditioner. When you rent a castle out, just So you could... Just because you keep saying, I can't wait to have a day off in Paris so I could go to Versailles. I'm obsessed with castles. I'm obsessed with Kings. I'm obsessed with Queens. And it's like, you listen to that and you do your best to make it happen.

It's like little things like that.

Yeah. So you're always leaving clues.

It's not even like leaving clues. It's just me talking about my- This is being just you talking. This is me talking. It means stuff to me and stuff like that. When you get to know my personality, too, and get to study me, it's like, okay. Because I think I'm a hard person to figure out. Some people just see me and think certain things until you really get to figure me out and crack me. Because I might give you what I want to give you. You haven't cracked me yet.

Will anyone ever crack you? Is Is it possible? Yeah.

Little by little, I open up and I show more of myself, my real self.

It's been seven years since you released your music, and you've talked to me about releasing it, the hard work that went into it, the journey that got you there, why you waited. What finally made you feel confident that you had the right piece of work? What did you put into it? How did you know that now was the right time the work was ready?

Because it feels good. It feels good. I feel like people are missing this. It feels good. I feel good. I feel confident about it. I feel very confident about it, to be honest with you. So that's why I'm like, it's time.

Where did the name Am I the Drama? What inspired that? What's the subtext? What's the hidden meanings behind it?

I don't want to keep saying When I was a little girl. But it's funny. Say it.

I love knowing that you manifested this. It's beautiful.

No, because it's like, ever since I was a little girl, I always get in trouble. And It don't really be me. It's like, if we're having a sleepover, me and my cousins, I will be the one that the aunt is pulling their ears because it's like, Yeah, I know this was your idea, but it wasn't even my idea. Sometimes when I used to go to school and I used to fight, my mom used to be like, Then I tell you to avoid the fight. And it's like, Mom, I swear to God, it's not me. It's these girls. They keep trying me. That's why I keep getting into fights. And when I was in school, too, it's like, when I do get in trouble just because I'm being mischievous, it's like my friends, moms used to be like, It's because of her. It's because of Belkalees. I know it's her. And it's like, It don't really be me. It really don't me. And that's just how it is with my life. It's like, yo, I'm always in a scandal. I'm always in some bullshit. I'm always in some beef. And it's like, no matter how much I avoid it, it comes to me.

Am I the fucking drama? Is it me, Jesus? Is it me? No matter how much I avoid it, no matter how much I think I'm in a bubble, and it's like, no, that bubble is always going to pop. Something's always going I'll find you, girl. But that's why I'm like, Am I the drama? Why am I always in some shit? Whether it's good or bad, why am I always in some shit?

What's the answer?

Am I? The answer is still the question, Am I? Am I? Only one person can answer that. And that's Jesus. Because God, why the fuck am I always in some shit? When is the fucking boat going to start smooth sailing? Why are we always in the ocean, in the middle of the ocean? And the rough is we're in the Pacific Ocean all the time.

I love that. It's a great question. It's a great question. It lines up for a great album. It's such a great name. It's such a great energy. Even just hearing you talk about it, it's such a great vibe. I How does it feel when that drama gets televised and then it's all over TikTok? How does that feel?

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

You always show up looking fabulous, but I'm like, how does that feel when...

Well, I try to come in Here, having eyes like you, but one of the contacts wasn't cooperating. So I'm like, I'm not taking this other contact off.

So that's why we have the- Yeah, that's why we got three blue eyes on set instead of four. I love I love it. How does it feel when your drama is televised? When that is televised, how does that feel?

Sometimes it feels okay because there's going to be people that's going to cheer for you and sometimes it's going to be very overwhelming and very stressful, very annoying. Then it's unlike other celebrities. A lot of people be wanting me to be certain celebrities and stuff like that.

Oh, Really? Like who?

They just want me to be the type of person that just don't respond, that don't tell my feelings. They be thinking that some of these celebrities, they're perfect, which they are amazing, but don't think they're not going through what I'm going through. Don't think they don't feel like the pressure that I go through. Don't think they're not saying, Yeah, I hate you, the fuck? Because who the fuck you think you are to tell me that I'm this, this, who the fuck you think you this and that? I'm just the person that tells it. So it's a blessing and a curse because sometimes I feel like I speak for them. And that's why when a lot of celebrities see me, they'll be like, Yo, you be saying what I want to say. That's cool. But then sometimes it's like a curse because sometimes people be like, Oh, you're the only one that do that. You're the only one that do that. And it's like, Well, I'll be the one that do that. I can't do it all the time, though, because then people are going to think I'm just crazy. But I'll be the one to do that.

You all need to leave people alone. You all think because a celebrity, we make a little money and we make a little this. It's like, Bitch, I have feelings too, hoe. I ain't no chopped liver. So maybe that's why I'm sometimes like the punching bags. And sometimes people be like, You need to stop doing that. You need to stop being this. You need to be more like them. And it's like, They feel I'm going to say where I feel, too. They want to tell these people, Fuck you. You and your mom and your dad, and your whole bloodline, how the fuck are you talking on me? Fuck you. Trust me, they want to say that They want to say that.

I think everyone does.

But I'll be the one to say it. But that's because sometimes it do feel good to say it. Fuck you. Bitch, fuck I'll be the one. Not all the time, but I'll be the one.

I could see that from all the clips that I've seen. You're always yourself. You're never not yourself wherever you are. The glam, the looks, the fashion, the wigs, everything that comes out of your mouth. It's like you're never filtering yourself, no matter the environment you're in.

I filter myself a lot.

Oh, you do?

Sometimes I feel like, Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck I become? Because I used to have no filter. Now it's just like, I'll be like, all right. But still, fuck you, though.

Where do you filter yourself? If you ever do, where do you filter yourself?

This mouth. I could be a piranha.

What are we today? A shark? No, today is...

No, today I'm a goldfish.

Okay, today you're a goldfish.

I said nothing bad today. Today, I'm a little lovish. No, no, no. I'm really nice today.

You have been wonderful.

But it's like sometimes I be seeing people and I be like, I could get really nasty. Just all facts, I could get really nasty.

But you hold back sometimes.

But I hold back so much. I hold back so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much. You know what? I really did change a lot. I don't know what changed me. Maybe the age, maybe the kids, maybe life.

You softened up a bit.

I always been soft, but I could really give it to you. And I won't stop, but I stopped. Just work.

Is it the age? Is it the kids? Which one is it? All of them, all of the above.

It's a combination. Age really wising you. Wising you and make you afraid.

Yeah. Got more to lose. I think that plays a big part. When you're young and you're dreaming and you want all these things, no one ever tells you the cost that it comes at and how much it tests you and brings all sorts of other challenges into your life. You've talked about how money doesn't fix everything and success doesn't solve everything. And it almost feels like when you don't have those things, you think it will. Yeah. And then when you get it, you realize, Oh, wait, there's all this other stuff that We haven't figured out yet.

Hi, I'm Kurt Braunoler. And I am Scottie Landis, and we host Bananas, the weird news podcast with wonderful guests like Whitney Cummings. And tackle the truly tough questions. Why is cool mom an insult, but mom is fine? No. I always say Kurt's a fun dad. Fun dad and cool mom. That's cool for We also dig into important life stuff. Why our last names would make the worst hyphen ever. My last name is Cummings. I have sympathy for nobody. Yeah, mine's Brown Ola, but with an H, so it looks like Brown Ola. Okay, Okay. Yours might be worse. We can never get married. Listen to this episode with Whitney Cummings, and check out new episodes of Bananas every Tuesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys. It's Aze Fud. You may know me as a gold medalist. You may know me as an NCAA national champion and recent Most Outstanding player. You may even know me as a people's princess. But now, you're also going to know me as your favorite host. Every week on my new podcast, FUD Around and Find Out, I'll give you an inside look at everything happening in my crazy life as I try to balance it all, from my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the Natty with my Yukon Huskies to just trying to make it to my midterms on time.

You'll get the inside scoop on everything. I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture, basketball, and what it's like to be a professional athlete on and off the court. You'll even get to have some fun with the FUD family. So If you follow me on social media or watch me on TV, you may think you know me, but this show is the only place where you can really FUD around and find out. Listen to Fud Around and Find Out, a production of iHeartWomen's Sports in partnership with Unanimous Media on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I just think the process and the journey is so delicious. That's where all the good stuff is. You just can't live and die by the end result.

It's scary putting yourself out there, especially when it's something you really care about and something that you hope is your passion in life and you want people to like it. Let's get delicious and put ourselves out there. I'm Simone Boyce, host of The Bright Side, and those were my recent guests, comedian Phoebe Robinson and writer Aaron Foster. On this show, I'm talking to the brightest minds in entertainment, health, wellness, and pop culture. And every week, we're going places in our communities, our careers, and ourselves. It's not about being perfect. It's about going on a journey and discovering the bright side of becoming. A few people know that better than soccer legend, Ashlyn Harris. It's the journey.

It's the people.

It's the failures.

It's the heartache.

It's the little moments. These are moments to laugh, learn, and exhale. So join me every Monday, and let's find the Bright Side together. Listen to The Bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What is something that you're still trying to figure out, learn, solve in your own life? What's the part of your life? You're working on dreaming, envisioning, imagining to be better different.

I mean, life in general. All of it. All of it, to be honest with you. Life just doesn't get... I wonder when life is going to start getting easier because life is just hard. No matter if you have money or not. You got problems when you're poor, you got problems when you're rich. You're just always just trying to figure it. Every single day, I feel like people are just trying to figure it out, trying to figure themselves out, trying to figure life out. And it just will never stop. It will never stop, I think. When would it stop? When you're 60? But even when you're 60, you're going to start having other problems, like back problems. It's like another thing, another problem that you got to figure out. You know what I'm saying? It's just would never stop. The older you get, the more people you lose, the more kids you have, the more things you have to worry about, the more money you have, the more you have to learn about managing, you have a partner, or you don't have a partner, you got to figure out how you want to deal with being alone.

When you have a partner, you got to figure out how to be their peace and everything. I really don't want people thinking neither that it's just because you have money, it's like you live the easy life. Everybody that have money, that are successful, that are good at what they do, if you notice a pattern, they work their asses off. You think that Beyoncé got a fucking boat in a mansion and this and that because she's just... Beyoncé? No, she work her ass off. She's one of the most hardest people ever. Why people cannot get to her level? Why people cannot this and that? Because she just have an insane work ethic, an insane time. And my partner, he works up every day at 5: 30, 6: 00 AM and leave work at 7: 00 PM. And then you got people that hate on him and it's like, why he's so good? Because he works hard. Why am I here after seven years? Because I'm every day, every day, working every day. What are we doing next? Hello? What you all doing? Wake up. I got a certain plan. I just thought of something. I just had a dream of something.

We got to make it happen. And working hard, you could say working hard, and it sounds like working hard, but it's like it's hours and hours. It's hours, it's time, it's body, it's brain. I'm exhausted. I'm really exhausted right now. Back hurt, blood hurt. I'm sleepy as shit. I got a headache on the right side of my head when I'm working. After this, I got to do a promo shoot, and then I'm going to the studio, and then tomorrow I got to do something else. Every single day, every single day, every single day. If you want it, you got to do it. No complaining, no crying, shit.

In this conversation, you've talked about Jesus, you talked about the devil. Do you talk to God a lot? Do you pray?

Every day.

Every day?

I feel like I have a very deep deep spiritual connection with God. And it's not even about praying. It's talking. Even when I talk to God, I talk to him just like I'm talking to you. I be cursing, crying. I love that. Because people are like, Oh, cursing is bad, but it's like God knows who I am. God knows how I be. It's almost like I'm talking to a friend. And I really do believe in my weird mind, in my weird universe that I made. I have angels. I really do believe that God gave me angels, and I believe in them. I feel like God is here, and I feel like you got your angels here, then you got your other religions here. I believe in God so much. It's not even funny. Some people might not believe in God, but it's like, I'm not going to convince nobody to believe in what I believe in. But if How you expect me not to believe on the person that I've been praying to my whole life and gave me what I wanted?

So that little girl was talking to God in that dream?

Always, all the time. It's like the imaginary friend, the voice in your head? Do you think it's your friend? Do you think it's your voice? That was just you talking to God the whole time. That was just you talking to God the whole time. I love him. I believe in him. I always tell this to somebody. The most I could give you, the most powerful thing that I could give you is me praying on you. If I pray on you for you, it's because I love you. It's the most powerfulest thing. I do feel like when you pray together, miracles happen. I love him. I love you so much. Why do you love me so much? Why do you love me so much? Tell everybody, I'm like one of your favorite kids. Tell them. Jesus, Lord, tell these people I'm one of your favorites. I'm a lot of them.

That's beautiful. Khadi, you've been so generous with your time, your energy, your heart. I really felt this I passed every one of my expectations that I had of meeting you and getting to interview you.

Yeah, well, we can do it all the time.

I knew there was so much spirit. I knew there was so much soul. I knew there was just this energy inside that I'm really grateful you let share today and people get to know you a bit more deeply. We end every episode with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So Cardi B, these are your final five.

You know I talk a lot. I know.

You can.

You think I got to answer with one word.

I'm giving you permission. You can. All right. So question number one. We ask these to every guest who's been on the show. What is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Well, I'm going to go with one advice that I heard today. No, I didn't heard it today. I heard it yesterday. Ask the difficult questions. The difficult questions make the relationship stronger. It could break it, it could make it, but you still have an understanding. If you become that understanding, then you might become stronger.

You said it better. You said it better. Whoever said it, you said it better. Question number 2, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? I think you've heard a lot.

Sometimes when somebody told me to wear a certain outfit or when somebody told me to drop a certain song, you never know. You could go from here to that.

Question number three. Finish the sentence, One thing I'll never apologize for is...

My mouth, my mouth. Well, sometimes I'm going to apologize for my mouth. Sometimes I might Maybe I'm a little too hard. I don't know. I apologize for my mouth sometimes, but not all the time.

Question number 4, what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore?

I happen to have The streets. I value it a lot, and I don't. I value it because it made me and it gave me a certain mentality. But I wouldn't want to advise that to people that I love, people that I care, or to young kids, to young boys, to young girls, because it don't always lead you to where you think it's going to lead you. It's very grimy. Don't love you back, ever.

And fifth and final question we ask this to every guest who's been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

If I was Kim Youngnil, what law? I'm not sure. I got to I'll get back to that.

Yeah, think about it.

Matter of fact, if you hurt children, you got to get... What's that thing when they clip you? Castrocytes? Whatever it's called. You just got to be clipped. And if you're a woman, they need to burn it. Oh, wow. If you hurt kids. Wow. Yeah, that should be a mandatory thing all over the world.

Wow.

Because kids are so precious. They're so precious. They're so innocent. Well, some of them are evil. They're born with the devil inside. You see Dr. Mery, some of them are saying, Oh, shit. You was born to that. You was born to be a devil. Jesus. Jesus upon you, child.

Cardi B, everyone. The album is called Am I the drama. I'm so excited for everyone to hear it. Love your energy, love your spirit. So grateful to spend this time together. Thank you. All the best. God bless. I hope that you continue to succeed and win at life and keep being the energy and force that you are. So thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.

The risks they took would be unthinkable to any doctor today. But odds are someone you know is alive because of them. Welcome to the Wild West of American Medicine. I'm Chris Pine, and this is Cardiac Cowboys, a podcast that tells the gripping true story behind the birth of open heart surgery and the maverick surgeons who made it happen. Listen to the Cardiac Cowboys podcast starting February sixth on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Kireb Browne-Oler. And I am Scottie Landis, and we host Bananas, the podcast where we share the weirdest, funniest, real news stories from all around the world. And sometimes from our guests' personal lives, too.

Like when Whitney Cummings recently revealed her origin story on the show. There's no way I don't already have rabies. This is probably just why my personality is like this. I've been surviving rabies for the past 20 years. New episodes of Bananas drop every Tuesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.