Transcript of Travis’ Wild Lateral, Jason’s KC Tailgate and the Next Head Coach of The Jets | Ep 104

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In a quiet suburb, a community is shattered by the death of a beloved wife and mother. But this tragic loss of life life quickly turns into something even darker. Her husband had tried to hire a hitman on the dark web to kill her. And she wasn't the only target. Because buried in the depths of the Internet is the kill list, a cache of chilling documents containing names, photos, addresses, and specific instructions for people's murders. This podcast is the true story of how I ended up in a race against time to warn those who lives were in danger. And it turns out, convincing a total stranger someone wants them dead is not easy. Follow kill list on the wanderiat or wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen to kill list and more. Exhibit C true crime shows like morbid early and ad free right now. By joining Wondry, check out exhibit c in the Wondery app for all your true crime listening.

As we all know, Travis came up big because he had someone special in the stadium, someone that means a lot to him. And he really tries to always perform well when they're there. And that is me.

Welcome back to new heights, ladies and gentlemen. Produced by wave Sports and entertainment and a wondry show. Yeah, make sure you guys check out wondry. Plus, we are your hosts. I'm Travis Kelsey. My big brother, Jason Kelsey out of Cleveland Heights, Ohio. Cincinnati Bearcat alums. Subscribe on YouTube wherever you get your podcast. One dream plus and follow the show on all social media at new height. Show with one s as you can see, this is a very special episode. Me and Jason are never like. I never see him in his flesh.

It's Travis's birthday episode too.

This is not my birthday. Was already passed two days ago. Don't bring my birthday up like it's a part of this episode. Has nothing to do with this episode.

Turned 35.

What?

You turned 35? That's a big birthday. The five. Everybody knows every time there's a five or a zero at the end, it's a milestone birthday.

Nobody's ever said that.

What does it feel like to be 35 and still wear a perkus power shirt?

It feels. Feels like I'm the fattest. Kidding.

Congratulations, Mister Kelsey, you're now the fattest tight end in the NFL.

Yes.

Get on the field. Get off the field.

Gosh, guys, killing it. Yeah, we're together in Kansas City. How about that? That's right. And yeah, Jason's. You look good, bud. You look good. Love that shirt. Just talking about the all white was a bad choice. What?

All white was a bad choice.

No, dude, those tits. You look great.

Nice.

Jason, why don't you actually tell people what we're going to talk about in the episode?

Sure. Well, we got an outstanding episode lined up for you guys. We're going to talk about Trav's big win with the Chiefs over the Saints, as well as me getting out of the house and where we are currently being in Kansas City. Kansas City. Little car jam, little tailgating. You got a bunch of good stuff, as well as obviously getting to everything else that happened in week five in the NFL. But first, as always, as always, new news.

New news coming in hot. A little new news brought to you by Meta Quest. That's right. Expand your world. Mama Kelse is woman of the year. Or one of the women of the year. Nice.

Way to go.

First item in new news, our mom was named one of Glamor magazine's 2024 women of the year. Also on the COVID Beyonce's mom, Selena Gomez's mother, and Billie Eilish's mom. So that's.

She's in good company.

Yeah, I don't. Yeah, it's impressive. It's impressive that Mama Kelsey's made it to the top. I mean, those are top tier moms right there. She's. She described what it was like being our mom in quotes. Being a mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's so much easier to just go to work. But raising children when they're totally dependent on you and you're trying to do the best you can with the limited resources you have. It's the most daunting task I've ever had to do. And, mom, you made it look easy. I'm not gonna lie. You made it look easy. If it was that hard for you, I'm sorry if we made it harder on you, cuz I'm sure. I know I didn't. I made your. I made it easy.

I thought growing up was pretty easy. Show up. Lunch is packed, breakfast is made.

Yeah, sure.

Rides everywhere is the best.

Yeah, mom.

And what does mom know?

Hand me down caravans. Are you kidding me? Doesn't get any better than that. Happy as hell for you, mama. Glamor magazine. This is cool. This is cool. And you looked absolutely amazing, mom. This is so good. Shout out to all the other mothers that are women of the year.

We also got an update on our film club poll. We wanted to give you guys results of the online poll that was very much rigged from the beginning by our friends, yet shake the winner, by a huge margin, of course, is sisterhood for the traveling pants. Of the traveling pants. Whatever.

Don't say it. Right, Jason.

Sisterhood of the traveling pants.

Thank you.

We will now watch this movie, and you guys will get a review if you pay for the added one three plus feature, which also includes no ads and a bunch of other benefits. You will also hear, like, Jason, the agonizing review.

Exactly.

Of a movie. Organizing of a movie about pants.

Dude, you are gonna watch this movie.

Two of my least favorite things. Why do you. I mean, I got a bunch of daughters. I don't. I guess I'm warming up to sisterhood.

There you go. There you go. Way to bring it full circle.

All I know is this, is this. This whole thing. Jake threw a bunch of other movies that he knew would take votes from each other so that the swifties could just freakin dominate the poll with sister the. Trevor, like spaceballs, goonies, and necessary roughness all took each other's votes. I hope you're happy, Jake.

I'm excited to watch. I think we were. We planned on watching this together.

You're honestly excited to watch this movie?

Yeah. What.

What in the title makes you excited to watch this movie, Jason?

I don't. I don't let the title dictate what gets me excited.

I just. I read books all the time by their title, and if it's a bad title, I don't read the book.

Well, take it from a guy that doesn't read books. Don't read into the title.

Just don't read the book. Yeah, I don't even read the title. Do you know anything about this movie? What is this movie about?

I don't know. It has Blake Ladley in it and she's.

Listen, I love Blake.

Yeah. I like watching films with people that I've met and I know. Oh, I watched. I watched Hugh Grant and I. Oh, what's Julia Roberts, Nottingham Hill. What is it? Notting Hill. I watched that one. I enjoyed it.

Did you?

Yeah.

What's it about?

It's about, ah, see, this is why I'm not a good movie. It's about two people that fall in love. No, wait, hold on.

Yeah, I could have told you that.

It's about two people that fall in love. Julia Roberts is a. Is a celebrity and what do you call it? Hugh Grant does not know this.

It's about two popular, famous people that fall in love. Sounds great.

No, one popular, one unpopular.

Who's the unpopular one, Hugh?

Yeah.

I don't know. That's realistic.

I know, right?

That's a good looking man, guys. You can't be that good looking and unpopular. That's right.

This movie is not even realistic. Thank you for bringing it to my butt. Are into chick flicks. Go watch that one. That was a classic, but yeah, one three plus offer is only available for limited time, so get on it. Visit oner.com new heights offer to redeem. And that does it for new news brought to you by Meta Quest. Expand your world.

Last week we introduced new sponsor Meta Quest. You can see him right there. How about that? Meta is the most powerful mixed reality headset. And over the next couple months, we're going to be sharing some of our favorite experiences with the 92 percenters.

You guys know we love to hit the links. Jason's a. He's a new lover of the lynx. I think. I think he's got the. He's got it.

I just have more time now.

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While you're there, be sure to check out the new meta Quest three s, which officially drops on October 15, but is available for pre order now. It's an unreal price for all these awesome experiences. Let's move on to some fan mentions of the week. Let's shout out the fan mentions. Jason, go ahead and jump us off.

Sure. Yeah. Travis got a major compliment from the Fonz, aka coach Klein from the water boy. Mythical clore, as you might know him, the legendary actor Henry Winkler on X Twitter, whatever you prefer to call it these days. He, quote, tweeted a tweet from Kansas City. Kansas City. No better day to pull out some of Travis Kelsey's greatest hits. And Mister Winkler said, and Mister K is doing an amazing job as an actor on grotesque re on Fox. Did Fox pay him for this?

Yeah. No, Henry son Max. Max Winkler is actually a director on the show. Yeah. So he's a big fan of the show. Big fan of the Chiefs as well. Shout out to the Fonz. You know we love you over there in chief's kingdom. And it's pretty cool, man. Well, I remember watching happy days growing up, and it's just, you know, one of those life comes full circle moments.

Can you give us any. So we're four episodes in?

Yes.

How many episodes is.

And you watched all four?

I've watched all four.

I can't believe you're actually. So you like or like thrillers?

If you put grotesque re or sister to the traveling pants up, I'm watching fucking grotesque. What? Uh, there's four, but how many episodes is there?

Uh, it's a great question.

Cool. Brandon, can we figure that out? What kind of turns are we in store for how many shoes are going to drop?

I'm not going to give away anything.

We'll just say how many shoes are going to drop? There's. There's definitely happening.

Yeah, there's about to be even more happen.

There is so much.

Just when you think, like, all right, everything's going to start to unfold, you're in. Just buckle up.

Yeah.

Buckle up. Yeah.

Yeah. I feel like I already got it figured out.

Yeah, I know you do. Yeah, we talked about this earlier. You don't have it.

I can't. I can't tell if you are just a complete made up figment of nieces, uh, or Lois's imagination. Okay, if you're a demon or an angel, I'll accept both of those because they're dichotomies. Or if you're the killer, I'm pretty sure you're not the killer unless you're possessing people. I saw you on the second. You said you didn't premiere to the third episode. I saw you in the second episode.

Oh.

You know, somebody did a great job of grabbing the screenshot. And I know that fucking tall, shadowy figure like the back of my head.

No, I don't know if you know that one.

I don't know. You turn the turntable off.

I've seen it just creeping around in the back. Yeah, yeah.

Lurching.

I wish I was that sneaky.

Well, I can tell you one person you're not a better actor than. And that is niecy Nash. She is killing it.

Absolutely.

It has been awesome to watch and I can't wait to see the new episodes. Is it two every week? It was two the first two weeks.

You gotta stop asking me.

All right, cool. Max. Max Winkler, please respond to this.

She should have stopped asking me stuff. I'm honestly, though, I'm along the ride with. With everyone else.

Yeah.

I'm enjoying watching everything unfold. Cuz I really. I was so in and out of LA at the, like, over the offseason filming this that I didn't see any other, like, scenes or anything like that. So it's fun to, I don't know, kind of get caught up on a lot of the storyline or just not necessarily storyline, but just everybody's performance, how they're, like, how they're portraying people. And I think it's cool. It's cool to be a part of it and, like, still see, like, product. Yes.

You see all the takes when you're doing it and, like, all this stuff. And then all of a sudden. Oh, that's what they were going for.

Yes.

They cut out all the other stuff.

Less perfect.

Oh, they didn't like that. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't like it.

I. I knew. I knew when I got there, like, a few takes, I was like, yeah, they didn't like that. And those takes definitely didn't make it, so. But at least I felt it and I knew not to do it again.

Yeah. Learning from it, coaching.

I am coachable, I'll tell you that.

Do we think Fon saw the scene of you talking about Big Peter and his banana hammock?

Banana splitter. Listen, man, everybody's got a pass. Jason.

Hey. They do?

Yeah. It sounds like. It sounds like it made me better.

You know what it sounds like?

What?

It sounds like Lois wants to remember Big Peter. Big Peter.

And.

That's right.

Yeah. When I was reading that on the script.

Yeah.

I was just like, this is gonna somehow.

Cool, cool, cool. Yeah. I'll make this sound great. Big Peter and his banana splitter.

If I was a stripper, how would I make this sound?

Yeah. All right, all right. Let's get to some out of the house. That's right. But before we get into Travis's game, we're going to talk about out of the house in Kansas City. Out of the house is brought to you by coke zero sugar tackle game day with irresistible taste of coke zero sugar. It's the best coke ever.

Try and decide. Jason, how was your first Kelsey carjam?

It's great. I saw a bunch of really cool cars.

Nice.

I'm not. I'm. You know me. I'm terrible with, like, makes and models of cars.

Yeah.

But I know when I see a car, if I like it.

Fuck, yeah.

And there is a lot of cool cars there.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I like old cars.

There was, um. There were. There were, like two that stood out to me. There was a. There was a really old, like, resto mode Bronco.

Nice. That looks weird with a bronco.

And it was like.

Would you say what kind of bronco?

Restomo. So it was like. I think that's what it's called. Resto mod. Resto mode, something like that. I don't know the pronunciation.

Is that just like a fancy word for restoration?

Yeah, I think.

What's a. So resto restoration?

It's basically a old. It's like the. It's like the original look of the.

Bronco with all the original.

It's just like the frame and everything's brand new on it.

Okay. It's custom, so they've restored it, but it's all original look and feel and everything. Got it. Okay, that's cool.

Yeah. That thing was awesome. And then the. The master truck. Dude, I fucking love my two trucks, man.

Yeah.

I want to get in one so bad.

You want to ace Ventura?

I just want it to be.

Yeah. My favorite was the international harvester pickup truck that was out there. It's like a. Like a metallic grayish blue. I got in it. There's a picture of me out there sitting in it.

Nice.

It was awesome.

Excited for the ignition lab to get their bronco up and running. It looks absolutely awesome. Are they working on the matte silver look right now? Yeah, it was sweet. They showed how far along they were with it, and then on top of that, they're auctioning off the 1969 Chevelle that they had turned into an electric car that put a Tesla engine under it. And when I say they. These high school kids at the ignition lab.

Yeah. Why don't you explain what the ignition lab is for people that don't?

So, the ignition lab is. It's an extension of what operation breakthrough has been doing with their stem labs in the building. And stem is science, technology, engineering, math. And they have just a bunch of, like, I don't know, rooms of, like, the mechanics. It has a entertainment studio. It has whole bunch of stuff that these kids can get their hands on and get into, and it's just an expertise. And, yeah, it gets just everything, and it's. It's just. It's giving these kids something that they wouldn't have otherwise, and giving kids something to do outside of school and after school, and something they can grant gravitate towards and see if they enjoy. One of them is the mechanic lab. Mechanic shop, like I just mentioned. And they actually turned a 69 Chevelle into an electric car by doing the welding and the. All the. I don't know, the battery, the Tesla battery pack that's on the bottom of it or in the. In the front, the back trunk. It's pretty cool.

Yeah. They got my Chevy Silverado. They're converting to electric right now.

Nice, dude.

And it's a 1986 square body Chevy. And I still haven't been. I need to make it to operation breakthrough in the ignition lab and all that, but, yeah, I'm fired up to see what it's like. And I. They said they're going to try and teach me to weld, which I think is. Also sounds pretty good.

It's pretty sweet. Yeah.

If it's anything like soldering, I'm going to be fucking terrible at it.

Yeah, I wouldn't know.

I mean, it's definitely not like soldering, but it's kind of like. I don't know. We don't know what the fuck we're talking about.

No idea.

Well, that's why you go to places that do and you get to learn.

Yeah.

Shout out to operation breakthrough. Shout out to Kelsey card jam. It was an awesome event. Shout out to everyone that showed up. It was really awesome to see the community support everybody there. Obviously, it goes towards a good cause.

Kansas City always shows up, baby. That's why I love it here, man. Whether it's foundation events, whether it's, you know, celebrating somebody, or just, you know, good old Chiefs game, baby. They're. They're showing up no matter what, man. That's why we love them. Tailgate with Chiefs Kingdom.

Yeah.

Moving on to game day. ESPN sent me send you out into the kingdom. Yeah, that's right. You were. You were tailgating a little bit out there in the parking lot.

Yeah.

What was it like? What was it like tailgating at Arrowhead? I've only tailgated at Eagles games.

Yeah. And I've only been to one tailgate. I have been to a tailgate before at Chiefs Kingdom for a playoff game years ago. But I didn't really venture around. I was kind of just in one spot, and it was like a. It was like a Budweiser tent that was there or whatever, and I just stayed there. And then every other time I go to your games. You have the. The bus that takes everybody there. So I just go with that. So I really haven't tailgated a lot.

Yeah.

So I thought it'd be cool to go experience it. And I was only able to be out there for, like, 40 minutes, maybe. Like, it was quick.

Yeah.

But they were running me around the golf cart. I was meeting all sorts of people. It was awesome. It was great. Good food, good people. Everybody just looking to have a good time, getting fired up for the game.

That's Kansas City.

I asked everybody, like, why they do it, and they're like, hey, everybody around here is like family now. Like, they. They've been going do it for years. Season ticket holders mostly. There was more New Orleans food than there was Kansas City food. I had so much, like gumbo, jambalaya.

I didn't see any, like, barbecue or anything.

I mean, there was. It was around, but most of the stuff that everybody was eating, where I was at, I think that it's common for, I guess, the teams to make, like, the food that they're playing.

Kind of like a fun. There's also luck deal that they got going.

I guess. There's also a decent amount of New Orleans fans in the tailgate that showed.

Up, so it's fun.

I always like it. That's the beautiful thing about sports. It's a unifying thing. Everybody comes together and you try and kill each other, but then your friends afterwards.

Best doesn't always work out like that, but, yeah.

Learned how to suction cup a beer can to my palm.

I'm sorry, what?

Yeah, the tailgate was incredible. Had an Abner Haynes jersey on. Nobody asked me a single thing about Abner.

Tell everybody about the Abner Haynes, because I was. So you asked me to try and help you out with this, and I was like, yeah, perfect. No problem. No problem.

And the KC pro shop hooked it up for sure. So this offseason, to the KC pro.

Shop for getting the turnaround for us.

This offseason, Abner Hayes died of.

Oh, Rip.

Abner Haynes died. Yes, Rip. He is in the Chiefs ring of honor or hall of Fame.

Yeah.

And I saw. I didn't know really, whoever Haynes was. And then obviously, you see that he passes away, so you start clicking articles and, dude was just awesome. It's a great running back play for the Dallas Texans and the Kansas City Chiefs. But more important than that, it felt like he was, like, really a member of the community. Went to North Texas State, I believe.

North Texas State, which, you know, you're good.

If you're going to North Texas State and then going to the AFL.

Yeah, AFL, nice.

Yeah. Live the good life of being a great football player and a promising, like, just awesome member of the community. So I thought it'd be cool to pay honor to the great Abner Haynes.

I love it, man.

Yeah.

Kansas City's got a bunch of them.

They do.

They do.

It's a story to franchise Willie. Bobby Bell. Who's Bobby Bell? That's a great name.

Bobby Bell. Defensive end, I believe. Linebacker, maybe? No, Willie Lanier was definitely the linebacker. Willie Laniere, yep. He was a. He was a big time. He was always. What is it? Walter Payton, man of the year. He's got a. He got a lot of honors for being, like, awesome in the community, which it wasn't. Walter Payton, man of the year back then.

Yeah. But the equivalent now.

Yeah, he's.

They really don't have an equivalent now, but, yeah.

Met Willie. No. Bobby. Everybody that, like, the chiefs ambassadors, are the best, even when Len was alive. Rip. Len Dawson. Yep. When he was. When he was in the building, he was actually one of the first guys I methadore, and there's just. I mean, the list goes on of ambassadors in chief's kingdom that kind of stick around and, you know, pass that legacy, man.

The best thing I ate at the tailgate probably was the cheddar brat. Cause I wasn't ready for the cheddar, and the moment I bit into it, there was cheddar in it, and it was just a magical moment, you know?

I'm out on that shit.

Cheddar? You're out on a cheddar brat?

Yeah.

What on earth are you out on a cheddar brat for?

Um, I just. Anything in, like, a casing like that, I'm out. I just.

That's why you don't like cylindrical meats. We've been over this. They make sausage without, like, the casing around it.

No, no, they don't.

I guarantee they do.

No. Oh, you're talking about, like, tacos. Taco meat. That's not sausage. All right, well, I'm glad you enjoyed your jambalaya in Kansas City.

Also. It's a pasta lie. You ever had that?

No, I'm not. I'm also not a Creole, like, New Orleans style food.

Missing out.

I hear this all the time, and every time I try it, I'm just, like, still not feeling it every time. Well, I think it's just a mental block.

Yeah. Or you just don't like it. Is it the spice. Like, what do you not like about it?

Jambalaya. I just. There's something about just, like, water and rice. I just. I don't.

I don't think it's, like, a soupy rice.

Soupy rice. I just. And then it's like, do you like curry? It's like pooey.

Pooey?

Yeah.

You don't mind color?

Yeah.

You're still judging foods by the color?

It's not even judging it. It's just like. It's like a mental block. Like. Oh, that's.

That's poop.

Yeah.

Do you like curry? Do you just. Do you just.

You know, I'm. You know, I'm starting to open up to.

I know.

To the girl.

Tay's getting you opened up.

She is.

She's introducing new foods to you, and it has been one of the greatest things that I've been happy about.

And the israeli spot in Philadelphia.

Yep. Shout out to Michael Salmanov.

That was awesome.

Yeah.

I like that spot a lot.

Yeah.

I'm still picky when it comes to, like, what I'll eat on it, but.

Yeah.

Or eat on the table, but at the same time, it's like, I'm.

So.

You in or out on dance? I'll dance.

Are you in or out on curry?

I'm in on, like, a light curry. The more. Yeah, the more it's like, it gets thicker and it looks like. Like a baby food or, like, baby shit, then I'm out.

So you just have a metal block with foods that look like poop food.

That looks like it just came out of a butthole? Yes, I do. I have a middle block for that. Yeah.

Big skyline chili fan, y'all.

You know, I'm. I'm so in. Just throw cheese on it. I'll be all right.

This won't even notice.

Won't even know. Come out the same way you went in. Sorry, guys.

Well, I don't know what else to add there.

What's better, tailgating at the link or tailgating at Arrowhead? Don't be biased.

I don't. I haven't really. I mean, I did some. I did do a little bit of tailgating at the link, but it wasn't the tailgate I went to at the link had an alligator, which I don't think is regional to the Philadelphia area. So I'm not sure why there was alligator. I mean, they were both great. I think. Honestly, I don't think I got a. Because of this short time period, and we were moving because I had to get on Monday night countdown, I think I'd probably want to get back to Kansas City to do, like, a fuller tailgate. And the only one I've been to with the Eagles and tailgated was when I was doing my night countdown as well.

Yeah.

So, like, I've just been. Because I have to work later, I haven't been able to drink and fully experience the tailgates the way I probably normally would. Yeah, they've been great. And the people, they're top notch at both establishments. Almost blew out my hand. Dumpy's ACL. Shout out to dumpy. He's all right.

That's a big dude.

Three point stance, chest bump.

You forced him into doing that, too. He didn't want.

He asked me before we went up there to do it.

Yeah. Then he was like, nah, man, this isn't a good idea. Like, we're doing it.

Well, once you get on the ride, you can't get off.

Little Monday night countdown.

Hey.

Well, you didn't sign any babies, but you did sign a leg during a commercial break.

I did. Prosthetic leg.

That's pretty cool. Did you? Was that the guy wearing the 62 jersey?

No, there was a woman.

Oh, okay, nice. A fan in the crowd sent their prosthetic leg down to have you because.

As I was signing, I looked up and she had her leg up in the air, and there was nothing.

Yeah, that's in and down. She could tell that that.

And I was like, oh, that's her leg?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's a dead giveaway. Not my first leg I've signed.

Oh, who's.

I think it was. I signed a vets league that was an Eagles fan, some event that I've been to. But this is the first Monday night football countdown league that has been signed.

Very cool.

Me, ryan Swag, you, and scott, ben Pelt all signed it, so I hope you're happy with those signatures. Yeah, I mean, she threw her leg up, so it's get what you get at that point, 100%, I guess. What's nice about the prosthetic, it's supposed, like, some people get tattoos now you can just get another prosthetic.

I don't think.

It's just, they're probably pretty expensive.

And that does it. Out of the house. Brought to you by coke zero sugar.

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All right, now it's time to talk about our partner, American Express. As the 92 percenters know very well, Jason and I do a lot of traveling in season for games and in the off season for fun at events like golf tournaments, horse racing, and tennis matches.

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For terms and to learn more, visit american express.com with amex. All right. Want to do the donut bit? Cool. So, before we get the football, we're going to review some donuts. Lamar's donuts.

Oh, yeah.

This is specific to Kansas City.

Oh, yeah. Since 1933.

Oh, yeah. Right on the box.

Yeah, it does. Right there. Celebrating 90 years. How about that? Donuts have been around for 90 years.

Well, these donuts have probably been around longer than 90 years.

It's a good point. Lamar. Back then, back in 1933, figured it out. Yellow box, man, I see these things is like fucking. This is like seeing gold. It's like finding Pokemon when you see a fucking yellow box just on, like, a random desk facility, just like, oh, shit. I wonder if they got the blueberry glaze in there.

Well, you know that I'm a very critical of donuts. I don't like cake donuts. It's a waste of time. Don't know why anybody likes them.

What's not a doughnut?

It's a cake. It's a circular cake. A donut needs to be fluffy and airy. And you always start with glaze. Go with the simplest thing. Don't get all these concoctions where they try and sell you on these gimmicky donuts.

Did you have a gimmicky donut named after you?

I did, and we raised some money, so it was for a good cause. Some people like them. Listen, if that's what you like, that's what you like. But you always start with a simple donut.

Yeah.

Give it a little pull test. It's a good pull. It's a good pull part.

Yeah, it is.

It's got good gluten structure.

Yeah. And it's also this. We're, this is, this is in the afternoon, and these were made in the morning.

So it's good observation. It's good donut.

Yeah, it is really good. It's fantastic donut. You can see how, like, Jason's fingerprints are, like, they're in it.

It's got, it's got good squish and rebound. Yeah, it's got good squish and rebound. The glaze is a little, like, crystally, if that makes sense.

Mm hmm. I like a nice little, like, I mean, so bad. I like a nice, little sugary chunk here and there.

It's not bad. Very good.

Yep.

It almost tastes like, it's, like, almost a little bit underbaked.

Dude, I'm telling you.

I think that that's good, though. Like, it's. I like it, but it could have.

Oh, yeah.

I could have maybe spent, like, a second more in the fryer.

Ooh, I grabbed the best one in the box.

How's Portnoy do this? Would you give it, like, something out of ten or something like that?

I mean, it's ten out of ten right here.

You can't give it a ten.

Yeah, I can.

What do you do with the rest of the donuts? What if we get a donut that's better than that one?

Then it's what?

What if you get a doughnut better than this and you've already rated this a ten? What do you rate that one?

That's a good point.

That's why you don't ever go straight.

Out of re rate this one, then.

You can't re rate. Yes. You can't rewrite.

Yeah, that's why you don't go ten.

You got to go below ten. You always got to give options to go higher. No, it's a good donut.

It's a fucking ten out of ten.

It's not a ten. It's slightly underbaked. It's got great structure. Sugary glaze. Could be a little bit more smooth. I'm gonna go seven. Eight. I'll go eight. Two. Good donut. Good donut. Really good donut. Very happy with this donut.

Yeah. You're serious about your reviews? I think this is a phenomenal donut. I'm enjoying the hell out of it, and when I feel this, I give it a ten.

So you're gonna get a lot of ten donuts. What's up with.

But they also have ten donuts.

So.

They also have every Friday before breakfast.

Me. Ten.

Well rated. I only like four, but that's just the car bumper. Here's a little.

They also have cake. I don't know how anybody could prefer this to this.

They need the. Yeah, I hear you. They need the blueberry glaze. There's.

This is a lazy man's donut. There's nothing to see.

It goes good with coffee.

Listen, I'm not saying it's bad. Like, it's sugar and dough. It's gonna be good.

Fucking love these things. I'm just wearing all this sugar, too, and I'm just gonna piece by piece. Just eat it.

All right. Well, there you have it. 8.210. Meaningless. If you're.

If you're in Kansas City, make sure you check out Lamar. You got a bunch of locations all over the place. Bold topics to wrap up. Week five in the NFL.

Yeah.

Starting with my game.

That's right.

How about that?

Chiefs 26, saints 13. I don't even know if that score adequately reflects how much you guys pretty much dominated the whole game. If you guys could get in the end zone fucking more, it would be even higher.

Tell me about it.

Let's start with the offense. You guys dominated the time of possession the entire first half. Really got to go. And cream hunt again. Another solid outing. Cream, coming out of nowhere, wasn't on anybody's team, and sure enough, him and Juju Smith Schuster. You think that they're kind of done in the NFL? They come to the Chiefs and look like two of the best players in the NFL.

I don't. I don't get how these guys were just.

Well, Jesus, was in New England, he didn't have any quarterbacks throwing him the ball.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

Kareem had over there in Cleveland one.

Of my favorite quarterback sneakers.

They were there. I mean, Nick Chubb, you want to give that guy the ball.

You do.

And we want to give cream the ball. And he's absolutely killing it right now.

He's doing great. You guys have needed it. In pops absence, him and Carson Steele have stepped up.

Dundee.

Cream Hunt ended with 102 yards, a touchdown for some stat nerds out there, which I know everybody loves that now.

Just the northeast Ohio ball player, baby. I mean, the guy, this is his.

First touchdown as a chief in 21, 49 days.

It was a career hunt style touchdown. Just break a few tackles, break. Run through a few arm tackles.

And did he break some tackles?

I'm pretty sure Kareem breaks at least one tackle every time. He does.

Every time. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good running back at. He's also the first chief to carry the ball 27 times since. Oh, yeah, that's right. Cream hunt also did that on December 24, 2017.

It was a good idea back in 2017. Now it's still a good idea, the handle, especially if it's working. Oh, yeah.

Judy Smith Schuster also had some stats out there. Led all receivers for the Kansas City Chiefs to seven receptions for 130 yards. Everybody was wondering what that Kansas City offense was going to look like without Rasheed Rice, how they were going to place them. And Juju goes out there with a big game for 130, almost had a touchdown, but that. We'll talk about that in a second. Some stats for those nerds. Juju's 130 receiving yards are his most in the game since the 2020 2021 season wild card round with the Steelers. Juju is also the first Chiefs wide receiver not named or she rice with 100 plus yards receiving in a single regular season game since. That's right. Juju again had 124 yards against 49 ers on October 23, 2022.

Yeah.

Yeah. Why was it so easy to simply just put Juju in the game and then all of a sudden him to ball out?

Well, one, both these guys are familiar with the offense. They're familiar with the scheme. I think they're familiar with the nucleus of the coaching staff and the players that we got here. So they just, honestly, it just felt like we got our guys back in the building. It wasn't, there was no like, all right, let's ease them into it. It was like, no, they, they're ready to rock and roll right now, all.

The terminology, know all the plays, and.

I mean, juju's won a Super bowl with us. Kareem's had unbelievable success in this offense before. So I think when it comes down to what coach Reed is going to call, everybody is very familiar on how to have success with it, and Andy.

Knows how to utilize those guys to their shirts 100%.

And Pat knows how to get these guys the ball, and he's. He's trusting.

Yeah.

Which is awesome to see.

Well, the other person he's trusting is primetime big Yeti. That's right. As we all know, Travis came up big because he had someone special in the stadium, someone that means a lot to him. And he really tries to always perform well when they're there, and that is me.

Have I ever had a. Not in Kansas City. I didn't have a great game.

You've always had good games when I show up.

Well, I guess last year I didn't.

Which one?

Great game.

Which game? The playoff games you dominated the playoffs. Those are the only games I went to last year.

Oh, I thought I was, like, talking, like, the games that I played against you guys.

Oh, that's true. The, the game that we played last year wasn't, like, outstanding.

Yeah.

Super. Gave me a couple big catches.

Yeah.

You didn't go for 100, but you still went. It was a good day.

90 or something.

Yeah. You still had a good day.

I do. I do love a good Monday night showdown.

Come on now.

Damn.

Come on now.

I mean, I was fired up for that.

It's also the knees feel of a better extended rest.

It's crazy what that extra day does.

It's. Yeah. One, just 24 hours later. It's crazy how big of a difference it makes for the body is remarkable. He will pay the price of this week. Oh, you know, bye week. I forgot.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Yeah.

You're not on a short week.

I mean, I'd rather have a shorter week and have my buy later in the season, but fair.

Yeah. Early, early by sucks.

Yeah, dude. The Chiefs have the ability to turn the lights off and on now in the stadium.

Like, somehow they didn't have an off switch for their lights.

No, I don't think so. I think they were always on.

There's no way that's possible.

Either that or, like, you know, remember, like, in, uh, in, like, the high school or, like, older lights, when you.

Turn them off, they would have to take them a while to go off. You turn them on, you'd have to wait for.

Yeah, I don't know the name of them, but, yeah, now we have the ability because, yeah, they were. The lights were off.

Yeah.

And I was.

We had that top flight organization chiefs getting new lights.

How about it, baby? Who said we had the worst facility?

Millions of dollars at stake here and we can finally turn our lights off and on. Adam button.

Yeah.

Let's get right to the play. Everybody's talking about Travis, and that's the lateral. You guys got about. I don't know how much time was left in the half? Maybe 30 seconds, something like that.

No way. It was not 30 seconds. It was like two minutes. Like, just under the two minutes.

There was two minutes left. You guys are way under.

Just under the two minute. We got the ball back and almost scored again.

Oh, this was the first position?

Yeah. Am I right on that? Three and a half minutes left. Yeah. Thank you.

Okay. I thought that this was the second two minute deal either way. All right. There you go. Thank you. Third and 22. Most teams are like, hey, let's just get the ball in the middle of the field, push it forward, make it a little bit easier for old butt kicker. And you guys decided to not do that.

Well, I actually went into the huddle, like, hey, boys, let's just get this. Just make sure we get in the field goal range here. I remember saying that in the huddle.

Yeah.

And then Pat literally said, yeah, listen, you are that, like, you're the underneath guy. Like, if you're open quick to you. Yeah.

Just kind of get north, get as much as you can. We're kicking the field goal.

Yep.

Well, that's not what you did. Here's a clip for those of you that didn't see what he did, he did probably the riskiest thing that any coach. It's actually like anybody else that does the plane. Stick the plane. Oh, my God. He's lateral again. Oh, my God. Hey, how about that? We almost got a first down. What was going on here? I don't. So I knew before you even pitched this, when you caught it and the first thing you did was not tuck it, but you held it like this.

Well, I didn't know.

I was like, this dude is in. You looked and I'm like, dude is about to pitch the ball. Then you talked it. I was like, okay, thank God he's not pitching. And I was like, oh, no, he actually is still going to do it. So what goes on in your head?

It all happens so fast, I kind of black out, which I'm sure coach Reid is going to love hearing.

I'm sure coach Reed doesn't care because there's never been one of these that hasn't worked out. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. We don't want to jinx this. So when you. When you catch this ball, do you just know that p ron's going to be in the flat?

I had no idea that he had a chip, anything on the backside. I was.

You just know I was reversing.

I was reversing field. I felt guys over pursuing everyone pursuing to you. And I was like, you kind of just get more yards going this way.

Yeah.

And then I realized I couldn't get more yards.

What is causing you to look and see if there's somebody behind you?

There's a guy in red over here. I just feel him.

You just feel that?

Yeah, it's like fast break basketball. You just hear. You just feel your running the lane.

You look like Larry Bird out there.

Bird.

Larry Legend.

I'll take that.

Just a better looking version. I mean, Larry was an ugly guy.

Yeah, but Larry's a smooth operation.

He was very smooth.

Hell, yeah, he was.

Well, you got the fourth and one was incredible. I love that.

You can't just throw it on me. Samaj unbelievable job by p Ronnie actually like, be ready because he was. He was kind of like shuffling.

Did you see his court after the game?

No, I didn't. What do you say?

He was. It's not in here, but he was. He was like, yeah, cuz he has a p rounds only been here for how long?

Three weeks exactly. I guess the beginning of the season.

It was like right around the start.

Yeah, it's been here for.

I don't think he was. Was he there for week one?

I think so.

Okay, so he's been here, but he was a late edition.

Yeah, he was definitely here since the beginning of season.

So either way he was like, yeah, you know, I saw him do it a couple times in practice and I just figured, you know, hey, I guess I'll just stay in phase here.

It's a ballplayer right there. That's a ball player right there. I love it, mandy.

They were like, have you ever been a part of something like that? He's like, nah. What was it like? He's like, hey, it's like, I'm playing backyard football. It's fun.

Let's go, baby.

Some other reactions. Coach Reed was asked about it, and this is actually going into half. Coach Reed was asked about that play and he said, we do it every day in practice. I can't tell you the name of it. So Andy clearly acted like this was something that was called.

I mean, he's not lying.

Scott told me this on because I did the halftime segment. Do.

Yeah.

And they said this clip, and I was like, there ain't no chance that was called the old reverse field lateral from our foot. No. Yeah. Especially in that situation. No, that was not.

He coaches in line, though. We do. We do it. Yeah.

He was ready for. And I think they might should just start letting you do it. I think Andy kind of does.

Listen. Just have to let it.

What did Andy say to you?

I haven't talked to coach about it.

See, that's how he know he's letting you do it. Well, if he did, if. If anybody else did it, he would be crushing them. What?

Why would he be crushing them? If he got us to fourth and one chance to convert?

Because most people are. If they try and do that a lot, it's gonna lead to fumbles and turnovers. But he knows for some reason you have this weird spider man sense for lateral in the football. That doesn't make any sense.

I'll tell you what.

Other than the fact that you played.

Basketball, my guy, honey badger, Tyron Matthew could have absolutely smoked me on that play.

He ran right past you full speed.

You'll see me, I like, brace myself. Oh, God.

Yeah, you were exposed, like, bowled it.

No, man, it was a fun play. And it got us a fourth and one and got us a chance to convert, man.

Another quote from one of your teammates. Pat was asked about the play. I told him I was. I told him I was throwing it to him so we can kick a field goal. Yes. Makes sense. And he laterals it all the way across the field. It's like I'm talking to Sterling, his.

Daughter.

In one ear, out the other. I got you for sure.

I'm pretty sure I replied with I got you.

Yeah, no, that's. Yeah, what else would we be doing here?

Yeah, no, I got it. No, I'm with you. Vehicle.

Fourth and one. Hey, we're going for touchdown. Cause you guys ended up getting the fourth and one.

We got the fourth and one and. But we ended up kicking.

But, hey, kept. Kept the drive alive.

Yeah.

Nick Sirianni actually called me this morning asking if it was as a dot design play.

Dude, if you watch it from, like, the. The, like, full 22, it looks. There's no way you don't think it does.

All because of the chip.

It's the chip. And on top of that, it's just like the lateral across field like, that's. I'm not banking on that as a coach, that everything's going to go right.

Yeah.

To where somebody could run across field and then throw it.

That's fair. I think he knew the answer when he was asking it to me.

Yeah, he just wanted. We do practice it, then we got.

You in the wildcat second half. Pat motions out the big yeti, goes to the Q position, and you guys do a little zone read type option. It wasn't his own, but you guys do a little read.

The end power lead.

Yeah, exactly. With Xavier worthy going on like a little. He's going flat at the end, collapses on the run.

You know this play far too well, man. This is the first play I've ever had in college football. Just a nice little trail. Touchdown of the lane, man. Right up the hash, baby.

But you did not hand it off or you did not keep it. You handed it off to Xavier, who went around the end.

You gotta read the end.

Hell, you wanted to keep that bitch.

I almost.

You dragged that read out as long as possible. Please take it. Please take that.

You can. Some of these DNS are getting savvy on these reads.

If you.

So you got it? You got to keep them honest, and.

Then they'll jump back out. You're right.

You got to keep them honest.

They're seeing it a lot more nowadays, especially with the way offenses are incorporating these types of plays more and more.

At the end of the day, if it's. If it's cloudy, give it to the fastest guy on the team.

That's probably a safe bet.

He can just run. Everybody go run in there. I'll tell you what, man. He's fine.

You can score the touchdown.

Xavier's been killing it. Mandy.

Yes.

I absolutely love watching him play, man. I love playing with him on the field. And he. He has this crazy like ability when he has the ball to just get like. He's like this. He's already skinny, but he just sliz. He slithers through shit.

Slithery's a good trait for it is.

And I'm not gonna lie, he. He slithered his way in on that one. We needed it big.

Well, he also slithered his way over to his mama. After the touchdown, Xavier worthy found his mom in the stands and gave her the ball, which a. How can you not love a guy that's given the ball to mama?

Yeah, you already know what's mama. We're trying to catch him the whole time. I was like, come here, come here. I handed it to you.

Yeah. You're going to your mom.

Nice. Yeah. Love it.

Yep.

Gotta show off some love. Well, she'll. She'll put that one on the mantle, I'm sure.

Then we got to talk about the other thing. And that's the thing that has been dominant for the Chiefs for, I mean, two years now, and that's this defense. Spagnola has been running the best defense in the NFL for close to two years now.

Spags, man, I love that guy.

What else is there to say about the defense that hasn't already been? I mean, I knew, listen, when you went, New Orleans struggled big time against the Eagles and Jalen Carter, and then they're out three interior guys or two interior guys. I'm like, dude, Chris Jones about that bidet. He did not disappoint.

He was Chris Jones. I'm pretty sure you could have your interior guys in there.

Good point. With those guys out, it's like, even more like, gosh, how are they going to do this? I mean, and they did it.

You gotta. You gotta have a plan. And.

Well, they had a plan, and then they got Chris Jones.

I mean, I get it.

I can't do it right now.

Going on, man, is.

Mister, you got a thing going on. He's swimming the guards.

All right.

Bull rush in the center, man.

He is. You want to talk about Slithery? It's a big slithery guy right there.

Yeah, that's a guy that shouldn't be slithery, but he is.

But he is.

Yeah.

Like, he does. Like, I feel like whenever I, like, get a chance to block him in practice, he just knows that he could just pick me up and move me.

Yeah.

So he just has fun trying to slither me.

Yeah, well, he knows he can go to that.

Yeah.

So he works on the slitheriness so that he has both in his pocket. The defense got the momentum going right from the jump when b cook my. Well, yeah, because my man car just threw. I mean, it was like a jackpot throw. What was he doing? Just. What was that throw?

Dude, I love Derek Carter.

Derek Carr. Who doesn't he when he's on? He's like the best quarter. I don't know what that was.

I've seen Derek Carr throw some. Throw some teddies. Of course. He threw me one in the pro bowl, actually.

He threw one in this game.

Yeah. Did. Yeah. Do a bomb.

Yeah, it was fucking. You remounted nice. From the interception.

I was. It was one of my, like, backyard football moments. In the Pro bowl.

Yeah.

He's in there we get into the red zone. We had ran the Tampa the corner concept so many freaking times that I went up to. I was like, hey, if they plan that cover three, I'm just about to run that corner post. And he looked at me is like it like registered in his hand. He's like, all right, sure enough, right? I'm talking about on time. Three and a hitch.

So, same throw he made in that game. It's the same three make because they ran a corner post. That's what they scored on.

Yes, but mine wasn't like 80 yards downfield. It was just like a little like 15 yard, but essentially, yeah, you're ready for it.

There you go.

I just, I just like it when like QB's are just ball players. You know what I mean? Like guys are.

They like, they're not regimented into like the lines on the paper. This read, then this read, then this read. And then I do this.

You gotta go out here. Make sure. Shake.

Yeah. Make sure. Yeah. Well, here are some stats for the Chiefs defense that has been unbelievable through the first half of the season. Well, through the first quarter of the season, the opposing team's feature running backs are a combined 66 carries for 169 yards. That is a whopping 2.6 yard per carry. Zilch. Derek Henry, who has been looked unstoppable these last few weeks for Baltimore. I guess really just that last play this past week. But 13 carries for 46 yards against chief Zach Moss. Twelve carries for 34 yards. Bijon Robinson, heard of that guy? He ran all over the Eagles. 16 carries for 31 yards. JK Dobbins, 14 carries. I mean, these are awful stat lines. Alvin Camara, one of the best running backs over the last one.

You just named four of the top running backs in the NFL right there.

And not just like this year, like that have been up there. Yeah, like Alvin Kamara. Eleven carries, 26 yards. Again, I went into the game not expecting much.

Spags, he got half of those yards on a.

That's right.

That reversed like a play that was.

Broken play that he made happen. Yeah.

Which. That's what he does. And obviously we can throw spags names out there, but the defense just plays so great together.

Yeah.

And when it comes to the run game, Mike, Dana, George, Carlos, these guys are just like playing their part. And then you guys, the backers just.

Flying the fuck around all over the place. Bolton screens out. I mean, he's.

Drew Tranquil is out there flying fuck around.

Like is Leo Chanel a dn now.

He's everything. He's our, like, jack of all trade. He could just do everything. Yeah, he's fucking John Cena. I just want to see him come to the game in George and a fucking big tee in a hat, sideways like this.

You guys saw a few familiar faces come to the game this week. Four former Chiefs, including Tyron Matthew, Willie.

Gay, and Colin Saunders, my brother from another.

And he caught a nice little juju. Kind of missed one of them. Went off his hands right into the big man's hands. And take a look at this highlight.

He moving thick, buddy.

Was thick pick. He was moving according to next gen stats, 15.8 mph on this 36 yard interception return. That doesn't even do it justice. You got to watch it. His little legs were a churning, brother.

Them legs aren't little. His stride is little.

No, them legs are small. Short. He's got a short, little stumpy legs. And they were trucking.

I mean, former running back in college.

He looked like it. Yeah, it was an impressive, like, athletic run.

Yeah.

It wasn't like a detachable deal.

I've seen that guy do backflips.

I've seen the social clips, too. He's a good athlete, and it was an impressive pick. All I could hear was the Super Mario star theme song. The third fastest speed by a ball carrier who weighs over 320 pounds. I suppose that's a compliment.

That's hilarious.

Since 2016, which I think is like, when they started recording this type of data.

Third fastest fat guy.

Well, third fastest big, like extra fat guy.

Yeah.

Cause he's not the fattest, but he's. There ain't many guys over 320.

Felt like I ran into a fucking brick wall when I. On the play right before, it was like I caught the ball and that the play that was designed, it's like, it's such a bang bang play. Like, I catch it and I'm already having to, like, lean forward. So it's like either the holes there, it's not.

Yeah.

And he was just standing right in, and I'm just like, well, we're going right.

Yeah, and he is a. Let me tell you, if you're 320 pounds doing flips, there ain't a lot of loosey gooseiness to that. 320. That is a boulder.

Yeah.

With short, stumpy legs on it. And he is also the brother. Oh, there he is. Look at him with the. The gas mask.

Oh, yeah, the bane mask. Getting some fresh oxygen. I'd have been tired after that. Just.

Oh, two.

Sure.

LeBron said the game with eight catches in the first half of tonight's game, Travis tied his record for second most catches in the first half of a regular season game in his career. What the fuck am I reading? He has had eight plus first half receptions versus the Los Angeles Chargers on October 22, 2033 and nine. And then he last had exactly eight first half receptions at Hugh. So he had a really good first half. That's what that stat means. Week six, the next time the Chiefs are going to play is going to be week six are on a by this week or week seven. They're on a by this week. Next week. The next time they're going to play is going to be against San Francisco. I see. This will piss me off. San Francisco. Do you know that they don't like being called San Fran, San Franciscans?

No.

Like, what is they like? They. They get mad because they're. Because they're too good to be called for Sam for. You don't get to choose your nickname. Everybody knows that growing up, their nickname is what your nickname is. People choose your nickname. You don't get to choose your own nickname. Yeah, don't tell me what to call you. Sam Fran. Now I want to call you Sam Fran more. I don't even want to call you saying, I'm gonna shorten it more. You guys are now Franny. You guys play Franny. Week seven.

Next week, I won't. I won't be a part of this.

You don't want to give them any more gas? Well, hey, they don't need any more juice. They. They're going to be fired up to get back in the wincom. They're not happy with how things have gone. I'm sure, man.

It was tough watching them this week.

Yeah. Any bad week plans?

Of course I do.

You're going to tell anybody? No.

But if any of it comes out, I'm sure we'll talk about it on the show.

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We did.

We did. I fell asleep on some of those afternoon games.

The 04:00 games. You took a nice little nap which you're getting ready to play Monday so.

Yeah. And you dozed off there a little bit towards I did.

I took a little 15 minutes power.

Nap but that's what Sundays are for. Yeah. Sunday was officially the longest day of NFL football ever. How about that? The London game kicks off at 09:32 a.m. eastern on Sunday and Sunday night football ended at 01:00 a.m. eastern because of the rain delay.

Yeah. It's a long day.

That's a pretty crazy day. I will say this though, man. It's just nothing better than just getting the crew together and watching some football, man.

I agree. I mean it's a reason why it's the most popular sport in America.

It's just, and YouTube tv just makes it so fun because you can watch four games at one. It's just, it's just you could you always have something to talk about and.

Some see Sunday ticket and being able to watch all the games drastically improves to Sunday. It's, there's nothing worse than being stuck with the two games that are on that are just abysmal games.

Yeah.

Because now you're just watching like ESPN to see what's happening in the good games.

Yeah.

So being able to go to all the games it's a big bonus.

I'm with you Mandez watching that. What was it? We were watching the Baltimore game.

Baltimore game.

Baltimore Cincinnati. That was a frickin awesome. That was a banger.

Slower first half but the second half.

Was bombed over Baghdad. Lamar we're gonna probably get to it, huh? I don't know.

I don't know what he put in this rundown.

No, we're not do that Lamar. Touchdown. Where he broke like three stiff DNS.

If arm Hubbard and he's running still rolling. Stood on twice and he keeps going. I'm like dude, he's about there's no way he's about.

Yes, he is going to throw in the end zone.

And it was a dime right to Isaiah likely. I don't know how Isaiah likely was that open. I mean, you can legitimately hold people.

I'm not gonna lie. I don't. I don't understand what we were doing as the tackle.

The guys.

And there were two guys over there.

Yeah. They were just looking at them, which, I mean, I guess.

I mean, I probably would have been mesmerized by the.

Lamar was doing nice. Now that I think about it. My man Burrow was throwing lights out, too.

Dude.

Jason, it was an old fashioned gun. Listen, they were talking about defense. The whole first three to four weeks has been how the defenses are taking over the league. Points are down all over the place where, I mean, grown men are crying about too high safety defenses and how we need to outlaw them. No, Kuiper, embarrassing.

He did go on around.

Yes. Stick the draft analysis and then Lamar and Joe Burrow go out there.

When baseball complains about the dog. We need to wind the baseballs up a little. We need more offense.

We need to. We do need to back the mound up.

What?

I'm a big fan of back in the mound.

Fuck. You are Mel Kuiper right now.

That's fine. I don't care. I'm not a baseball player, so I can be Mel Kiper in baseball. I get to be that now. That mound distance was set when people were throwing like 80 miles an hour.

What?

When that. That distance. The last time they moved that mound back was like a time in baseball when offensive, like, production was struggling again and they wanted more hits. They wanted more on people on base. They wanted to make the game have more action. So they moved them out back. They haven't moved it back in. Like, I don't know, I forget the date, so I'm not just going to pull a number out of my ass. But it's been a long time. The hitters have also gotten better.

Yeah.

I just think that they should move it back a little bit. They're outlined, the shift. They outlawed the ship. I think that's ridiculous. You should be able to line up the shift. You should be able to shift. Don't tell me why I can't, like.

Hit it over there.

I think that was stupid. I just moved the mound back.

I guess that's probably closer to the two.

I say.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. So what would be equivalent to baseball? To move in the mound to football? Would be the kickoff.

It would be like if they, if, like, what they probably should do for kickers. Kickers are making, like, 60 yarders. Like, it's routine. We need to narrow these field goals. It's too easy to kick field goals now.

We gotta narrow.

We gotta narrow. We gotta go to rugby. We gotta go to rugby. Goalposts. I'm. Oh, like, kickers should not be influencing football games as much as they are right now. Me and Connor Barwin said this, like, ten years ago. We need to get specialists out of the NFL. Specialists, just kickers.

So how is it. How is it at the end?

Ruined the game.

Everything's gotta be a hillary now.

I don't know.

It adds excitement to the game.

Throw the ball through the uprights. Why do we have to have this guy come out here and kick it? That doesn't belong.

Too easy.

Make it tighter. You just make it. He's got. Just have a big one. Post.

Hit the post.

That's three points. I don't want these guys going out there in soccer shoes, and you can't touch them and, or make believe like, this is a football play.

Harry's won me a lot of football games, man.

Well, yeah, I'm sure you're pro kickers. You got a great kicker. Jake Elliot. Shout out to Jake Elliott. He's a great kicker, too. I just disagree with everything about it.

Back to offenses not being dead. Rookies Jaden Daniels, Caleb Williams and Bo Nicks each had 200 plus and big wins.

Big days for the rookies.

How about it, man?

And we were just. So we went to Andrew Santino show. After the show, after the show, Santino, being a Bears fan, asked me about Caleb, boys. I'm like, I don't know. He don't look that good. And then all of a sudden, he goes out and plays like that. I made sure to text Santino halfway through the game, hey, Caleb Williams looks pretty good today.

Exactly, dude. He, him and Jaden Daniels both have the ability to extend the play, for sure. So I feel like with them, it's, it's all about understanding the scheme and understand getting the ball out in time and things like that and letting those extra, you know, extended plays, like, come naturally. I think Caleb, in the beginning, was, was trying to do a lot with the ball in his hands.

Yeah. He wasn't comfortable.

And sometimes you just, you need to have a few of those games to get acclimated into the NFL, and now you realize what you can and cannot do.

I mean, he's getting acclimated the coaches are getting used to what he's good.

At, and he can, I'm not, I'm not going to say he was the team at USC, but he had to do a lot at USC.

Sure.

And to feel like that in the NFL is fucking unfair.

He's got a lot of good weapons.

That's what I'm saying. So it's like, it's just letting your guys do some work for you, man.

Yeah. Well, he was finding, and he was.

Absolutely, that's what he was doing. He was throwing, he was slinging the thing around. Right.

He looked more comfortable this week. The old line was, I mean, the Panthers were not offering much, just needed.

You know, get a little confidence booster.

I don't know. All I know is that, yeah, some, some guys take a little bit more time to, like, feel more comfortable. Obviously, this is, he's been getting better.

Yeah.

And whether that's him getting more comfortable, the coaches get more comfortable, the offensive line playing better. It could be a number of things. All I know is that it looked pretty good this past week, so hopefully they can build on it. Their defense is rolling. I did not know they were three and two.

Yeah.

I thought the Bears were terrible. And all of a sudden I look at the record like they're winning football team.

Yeah.

I forgot.

Yeah. No, there. That's the NFL for you.

Me, high level NFL and analysts right here on primetime television. Didn't even know the fucking Bears record. I was like, I'm not paying attention. Then they suck. All of a sudden. It's like, oh, hey, I guess I gotta watch the Bears being the best division of football. That's my opinion. Santino.

In terms of record, I think they are the best division of football.

I think. That's right. Them, Minnesota Lions and Green Bay, all of them are good.

Yeah.

Yeah. NFC North. I mean, is there anybody else that's even close? I thought the AFC east was going to be good this year. They suck again every time. I think. I thought they were gonna be great last year. And then, like, it's like the bills are even struggling now. All of a sudden. They beat the brakes off of Jacksonville. And now the last two years, the last two weeks, they've kind of calmed down.

Jacksonville found a way to get a dub, Dougie P. Down there.

They did. They finally got their first win.

Sometimes they gotta get back on. Get back on the tracks, baby.

That's right. That's right.

Yeah. And Joe Flacco reached a top speed at 18.76 mph.

He was moving.

Moving.

Yeah.

The big man still got the stride.

Yes, he does. He's got long legs.

Yeah.

He's got some new shoes. I saw him on. Pat McAfee said he's got, he's got, like, coconut something or something. What the fuck they say about his shoes? Brandon, can you get this weird? I don't know.

Yeah. Well, he, he also threw for 350 yards and three touchdowns.

That's probably better than the 18 miles per hour run.

Yeah. I think the more impressive one, though, is the 18 miles per hour run, because I just don't know too many 39 year olds that can do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not just 39, but 39 years that were not known for running previously. He's never been known for being a runner.

No.

Alec Pierce, former Bearcat, had a lot of those receiving.

How about it, huh? Bearcats is making plays all weekend.

Yeah.

All weekend. While the Bearcats were on a by coming back, baby. Yeah.

So it's good that NFL offenses aren't dead because that is makes for exciting games. Definitely happy to see the production getting back up there. Speaking of getting up there, let's get to the Giants doing something that a lot of people have never seen before. This is all over social media. The Giants, in their win over the Seahawks, 29 20, score a late minute fumble block kick for a touchdown. The Giants jump over or jump through the A gap.

Yeah.

19. Who's 19? Do you know?

Isaiah Simmons?

Isaiah Simmons, athletic as hell. Yeah. Jumps through the a gap. A lot of people didn't know you could jump. You can jump in the NFL. It is illegal thing to jump.

You're allowed to jump.

You just can't land on anybody or use yourself to propel upwards off of somebody. But you can indeed jump on an NFL field.

Noted.

Randy Moss made a career out of it. They also didn't know that you couldn't hold people down, which that is a little bit of a gray area.

100%. It's like there's one thing about yanking someone.

You can't grab and pull the person forward. That's definitely against the rules. I've seen that call that's holding. But if you are just, if you are just assisting somebody who's already going in a way, in other words, to, in order for you to not get your ass kicked on field goal, you need to be as low as possible. So every line, what they do is they get as low as possible and then rise on contact. So what the Giants did here is they just put their hands on the old lineman when they already went low themselves. So that's not holding. They just assisted them in going nice assisted. And then Simmons jumps out through the A gap. Great timing. One of the reasons you don't see this done as much is because it's near impossible for the jumper to time it that perfect to be able to jump, not touch any of the o linemen, get through those two guys to get the hold or the assist.

Yes.

On the line down and then to then land and then re jump. There's like a. And then there's a million things have to go right for this to get pulled off.

Is there, is there a world where they call this a penalty and it's like, yeah, you can't do that, like in the future. No, just like on this play.

Yeah, refs make mistakes all the time.

Oh, so you think it was completely like, there's no, like, gray, like, oh, it could have went either way. Just depends on like, how they say there's a hold on every play.

I don't think that this is illegal in any way.

Okay. Personally, keep this thing moving. Max Crosby shit talks the tap man. What?

What? A lot of tattoos. Tat man.

Oh, yes, he is tatted. Max Crosby shit talk caught on broadcast about it, screaming, bo Nick, speak up. They don't fucking know. While Bo Nicks was audible ing on a third and four in the second quarter. And I. I love a good shit talk.

I do.

Is this just good coaching? Cuz it did kind of look like at first, like everybody was waiting on to figure out what was going on.

What do you mean?

On the Denver side, what do you.

Mean is good coaching for Mac.

Max is coaching them up.

Max is on coaching. Yeah, it's good shit talking. I mean, I think he's just observationally seeing that the old line is like, what? What are we doing? There are some funny stuff that happens in the trenches. Like there is confusion sometimes. And sometimes, like, you just say exactly what's happening and you get this back and forth every once in a while. He's like, just pull. You don't have time. Like, you can't say like, chico, chico. What was that?

Chico what?

Paul?

Dammit. Just in the fucking cross, there was.

One, you know the radar defense when they're like moving around and they. You don't know where the down guys are or anything. He was up there, he said that the clock was moving. He's like, just block up.

There will be sometimes like, pat just rambles. Like he just spits it out. Cause that we're losing time on the clock.

Yeah.

And I'm just like, what was that what I can't hear. And I'm like, all I hear is, like, the formation. I'm like, walking up, it's like, what the fuck play is this? And he'll just tell me what it is. And then I'll look at the guy that's guarding me. I'm like, well, don't just fucking tell them.

There'll be. Sometimes you're, like, playing a team that you play a lot and you're trying to mess with them on, like, where the slides going. So I'd be like this. I'd be like, hey, rip. Rip, rip. And he's like, what? He's like, rip.

God damn it.

Now everybody knows you ruined it.

Oh, man.

Locker room media policy. Let's get to the real important stuff and more important news around the league. The NFL PA has put out a statement about something that they shouldn't be worried about at all. The NFLPA put out a statement about moving media interviews out of the locker rooms. And a lot of players have since spoken up about this. It's been something that guys have talked about for a long time. For those of you that don't know, after games or practices, there is a period of time that the locker room is open for media members to go in, in and talk to players, interview them, ask, you know, what happened in the game, you know what's going on this week, whatever stories are writing, and there's no end to that.

That is meat watch.

I don't think that that's why they're in there. This is what is being alleged.

This is. Yeah, this is what I mean.

There's probably been a few peters gazed over the years. Here's the statement the NFL PA is issued. Tori Smith tweeted, my good friend Tory Smith, former teammates, speak up for the league. Tori Smith. If only y'all knew how awkward some of the male Reporters act. Straight meat watchers. I'm not gonna lie.

I.

It is a little weird that people are in there, but I don't mind. I never minded it.

You never mind.

Listen, somebody was. My dick. My dick is low on the totem pole. I'm not impressing anybody or doing anything. If you want to look at it, go for it. Be my guest. They got nothing. It's not going to impress you. It's going to be.

It's going to make some babies, man. So it's going to.

It's efficient. It gets the job done, especially making girls. But it's not. I don't know. I've never cared. I've never thought about it, and I've never noticed anybody staring at it.

We've been in locker rooms our entire lives, so it's like, I still remember.

Going into the YMCA in Cleveland Heights and seeing an old man's balls drag along a sauna. I didn't know that we were all of a sudden.

Which is risky in two ways, man. You can splinter those things. Yeah, you can. You can see her those things, man.

It is not to look at old man balls and a sauna. You can't not look at those. There's nothing sexual about it, Tory. It's like, how the hell are those things hanging that low? He's got a point.

Tori Mandev. I think this was a. An absolutely hilarious statement. And, you know, Twitter. Twitter. You can. You can just have some fun on there. Yeah.

Kyle, you check. Also went out there. He said, maybe we can keep Grant Khan. I think that's how you pronounce this guy's name. Sorry, Grant, for this. From always hanging out around lockers while we're changing. So he directly not only is calling out the collective group of porters, but Grant is catching strays here. Apparently, he has been known to shut.

Up the juice, man.

I do think. Oh, I don't think this is the problem that it's being made out to be.

It's so funny.

I really honestly think guys just don't want to be interviewed in the locker room. And a lot of people are crying wolf right now to just try and get the reporters on the locker room.

Hey, listen, mandy, it sounds like everybody's having fun with it, man.

I don't. Yeah, I'm just like, I don't. I don't think this is a big deal. I never had an issue with it. I think it's like, it's so easy to just not show your dick to everybody. Like putting a towel on or go into the bathroom that they aren't in. Like, they're not in the showers. Like, hey, how to catch that ball? Like, you can definitely not show your dick if you don't want to. Guys, guys, it's not mandatory that your dicks out while you're talking to these people.

I think it's actually encouraged.

Excuse me. Lower your pants, please. I need to do my interview now.

I've never problem with it, but I think. I think it's actually encouraged by the NFL to be clothed. I don't think they encourage you to be naked.

Can you please show me that tush? Push down and touch the toes real quick to see what this looks like, if you're self conscious, there's definitely a way to not have your genitals out. Breaking NFL news, the jets announced they have parted ways with the head coach, Robert Sala, because he was the issue. After five games this season and a two and three record, the much maligned jets offense struggling, and they fire their defensive coach. Jake, can we get your thoughts?

I'm here.

I'm in the house. You are here. Nice.

Our expert in the New York jets comings and goings, what are your thoughts on the departure of head coach Robert Salah?

Yeah, I mean, everything's going great. This seems like a well run organization. Nothing going wrong. It's crazy. I mean, every year I get my hopes up, and every year, five weeks into the season, I'm in the same damn place.

Just. Are you familiar with the definition of insanity?

I've heard this once or twice. You know, I love this team. There's nothing I can do. But, you know, maybe hiring a defensive head coach, forcing him to pick a quarterback he didn't want, forcing him to fire the offensive coordinator, then hiring a different offensive coordinator he didn't want. Then firing him because the offense sucked might not be a good idea. Just my take. I'm dumb. I don't know football, but that's my thought.

Well, you're right in everything you just said. What is the. What do you think should be the next head coach of the New York Jetse?

All right, so I got one name. I'm gonna fix the organization. You guys are gonna love it. He's a northeast Ohio boy.

Oh.

Go get Mike Brable. Call Mike Rabel today. Get him in the building. I can run a program.

Listen, I don't hate that.

Right now. Next year or something.

Yeah, not right now.

I don't know that anybody's taking the job this year. It doesn't feel like any. Doesn't matter who they hire as the head coach. Head coaches, Aaron Rodgers, I don't know why they're not even just naming the head coach. I just want to see a player coach.

I do, too, man. I kind of want to see.

I just want to see it. Just make Aaron the head coach.

Just do it.

You know you want to do it. Everybody wants to see it. What if he just fucking leads into the promised land?

It wouldn't be.

That would be fucking awesome.

Shut up, Jake. Do you have any other thoughts from around the league you want to share while you have your moment here? Judge?

Jake, this nook is really sweet. This is a good setup you got.

Yeah, we don't need that kind of comment. We. I was asking about NFL takes, but thank you.

Thanks, guys.

And lastly, it's time for the segment we debuted last week. Coach, quote of the week, a little context for this quote. During the Broncos Raiders game, cameras caught Bo Nixon, Sean Payton going at it on the sideline.

Yeah, we could tell from body language. Sometimes coaches like this Howard Mudd used to purposely get guys riled up just to see if they would, like, tell them, you're wrong, coach. You play mind games like that?

Yeah.

Just think it's kind of fucked up, but I respect it.

I mean, we want to talk about the best to do it ever. Tom Brady used to fucking get pissed on the sideline. Yeah, show some aggression.

Listen, I don't have a problem showing emotion. And it seems like Sean Payton doesn't have a problem with the either postgame. Sean Payton, asked about this moment, said, there's still a little bit of Ferris Bueller in this player that we're trying to get rid of.

Hold on, what does that mean? Fucking love Ferris. I got a little Ferris Bueller.

You should ever get a word of Ferris Bueller.

What's wrong with skipping school? Yeah, skipping school and stealing cars. What's wrong with that?

If Bo Nicks is Ferris, does that make Sean Payton principal?

The principal?

Yeah. What's his name? Rooney, principal root. Thank you, Brandon. Yes, I make Sean Payton prince because Principal Rooney's the bad guy in the movie.

Yeah.

Watch that movie. Ferris Bueller is the good guy.

Yeah. He's who you're rooting for.

Yeah, Ferris Bueller is the coolest fucking character and pretty much any movie I've ever seen. Keep fighting authority. Authority figures suck. Principal Rooney sucks. Keep being you. You're the good guy in this. Don't forget, everybody loves Ferris Bielberg. Nobody likes princess.

But also have a good relationship with your coach.

Also listen to. He's been a really good coach.

Oh, and then one last quote. Cowboys beat the Steelers on a last second Dak touchdown to Jalen Tolbert. Good play to end. Here is Smith on the game winning touchdown pass from Dak Prescott to Jalen Tolbert. Bro, it was miraculous. JT literally sprained his fucking nuts. Excuse me. Sorry, guys. Sprained his nuts. The play before then comes back, makes the game winner. Unbelievable.

I love that he thought saying fucking was the worst part of this, dude. Statement.

Swear jar.

Sorry. Forgot my sister. He sprained his nuts. What does that even mean? Can you sprain your nuts?

I think. I don't know.

I know.

You know, I never heard of that one.

You know what you can do? You can twist your nuts. You can call it torsion.

Yeah, you can.

Which, by the way, is a hospitable. Like, I mean, I'll never forget a center for Cleveland Heights, and he had to go to the emergency room. Die. That's how important testicles are, kids. Which is why, if you see an old man in the sauna, do not twist them things, because they are very twistable.

They were droopy.

They're. They. There's some sad nuts down low. They have seen a lot of gravity through the years, and they are prone to the torsion.

Skin got a little loose as he got older.

One would only assume they were not fresh out looking like that. Thank you, Tyler Smith, for cleaning up that quote and making it safe for the kids watching. Kids watching us. That does it for week five roundup. Let's get to some no dumb questions before we get out of here, let's wrap up the show with some no dumb questions, because there's no such thing as dumb questions, just dumb people. No dumb questions is brought to you by the powerful backing of American Express. What was the bit that we did about American Express?

Don't steal a home without it.

That's right. Don't steal home without.

Shout out to the guards, baby. Let's go, man.

From Lacey Amos. Hey, new height show. What's the story with the t. Kelsey T rex logo on the inside of his gloves? Well, Travis, I would like to know this question and answer as well.

Yeah, well, the gloves are custom from Nike, and Nike asked. Yeah, from Nike. And they asked me if I want to throw a logo in there, and I I guess when I was a kid, you said, you say it best when you say you don't choose your own nicknames. I was given the nickname T Rex when I played low post basketball when I was, like, ten years old.

Okay. Why were you nicknamed T Rex?

That's a good question. I think T for Travis and T Rex was, like, kind of like a mind frame, like a mindset.

It sounds like a little kid, like Nick.

Yeah. Or it was because I was just, like, fat with short arms.

Why have I never heard this before?

Oh, no, it was that in traveling, Trav, have you heard traveling?

I did not hear traveling. Travel.

That's not because I was traveling all over the world. It was because I did not want to put that.

Because I was Carmen Sandiego.

Yes. Because I did not like to dribble. I wasn't a dribbler at all. Yeah.

You and LeBron James.

Well, I mean, back in the day, it was traveling. Nowadays, I would have. I honestly, I could probably may the NFL. I mean, you know what?

I used to think you, there is no chance in hell. But the more I see how close and height you are to some of these guys.

And you think height is the.

I thought that was the height.

Isn't the difference, dude.

Stephen. Steph Curry is an outlier. Just because he can shoot, like threes from mid court, height is a big deal. And whether you can make it to.

The NBA, Steph Curry is like six four.

I know. That's what I'm saying. He's short. So when you, like, you're six five. I didn't think you were. Had the height necessary to play in the low post.

Oh, no, I definitely didn't. Yeah, yeah.

But then I see you next to Luca, and you're the same fucking height as a guy. So you could have.

Somebody could have done it.

I think you legitimately might have had a chance to do it.

I I don't think I would have been a superstar, an all star or anything, but I think I could have made it.

I think you might have been. Especially with them lateral moves that helps you on the basketball court more than it does the NFL course.

And fast break. You want me on the fast break?

Your fit? Unless you have to trade a.

No, no, I'm gonna catch them and get the rebound. Start the fast break.

Got it.

It would. Where I traveled was like, on the wing trying to fuck.

I love that maneuver. Yeah. All right, well, there you go. Lacy amoshood.

Nickname that I like to really embrace the. The mentality of a T Rex on the field. I think that's where. That's where I was going with T Rexman.

T Rex on a field. I think you're the exact opposite of a T Rex. T Rex. Bad vision.

Yeah.

Although they see objects that move, so maybe when you saw P. Ron moving, then you're like, oh, T Rex. You don't have short arms either. I don't get that. Your arms are long.

Yeah, I think it was average for your. I think it was just a nickname from when I was younger.

Next. Not on question. Joe Cunningham, 1937. No, dumb question. What happened to the shoutouts? Nobody is taking their game to new heights this year. Bummer. Very passive aggressive there from you, Joe.

Yeah, we want to bring it back, I guess.

Well, Joe wants it back.

All right. You got a. You got a. You got a shout out. You got a new heights stamp of the week. You got a stamper.

I'll stay. I'll give Alec Pierce some love. He almost single handedly, along with Joe Flacco, had the Colts come back this week. They didn't quite get it done, but he had some long catches late a good year. Alec Pierce been having a real good year.

Having a good career so far. He's been doing his thing over there. Indy.

There we go.

All right, now, who are you going with? Who am I going with?

Yeah.

I'll give my stance my guy. Juju Smith Schuster. Hey, that's a good one niner, man. He's out there balling right now.

He is. It's a heck of a welcome back into the starting lineup.

Yes, sir.

And that does it for Notam questions, brought to you by the powerful backing of American Express.

Yes, sir.

And that also wraps up this episode of new heights. Make sure you're subscribed on YouTube to the new Heights channel and follow new heights on the Wonderye app or wherever you get your podcasts. Reminder. You can listen to new episodes of new heights early and ad free right now. By joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts, you will also be able to see the exhilarating review of women and mobile pants.

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We will see you later.

Oh, nice little boulevard wheat. Shout out to Creed Humphrey. Oh, come on. Who taught him this and why?

Go, go, go. That's pretty good. Part of it's physics. Come on, get off. Get up off that palm.

I don't have to shout out the boulevard. We though that is one of my favorite blondies. Follow new heights on the Onedri app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes of new heights early and ad free right now by joining OneDrive in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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