Transcript of MiniMORBID x 2: Cryptids of the Midwest

Hey, weirdos. I'm Ash.

And I'm Elaina.

And this is Morbid in the Morning. Mini, mini, mini, mini, mini, Morbid. Mini, Morbid, mini, Morbid, mini, Morbid. Times two.

A double Mini Morbid in the Morning.

Oh, yeah, bitches. We are bringing back... You guys love this song so much. I created a masterpiece back in 2018, 2017, whenever I did it, which is hilarious because it started with the joke.

It should have gone like triple platinum.

Yeah. Where's my- What happened there? Where's my Grammy? But, yeah. So we're bringing back the Morbid Mini Morbid theme song. We're going to start. We do this for spooky episodes already. We each tell a spooky tale. Today, we're going to talk about some cryptids. But we were also thinking in the future, sometimes there are shorter cases that we don't end up covering because- Yeah, just interesting topics.

Yeah. Not super long, but very fascinating.

That's the thing. And not always enough for a full episode. But we figure if we combine forces like we do for spooky episodes, we could do it for other topics, too. And we can bring back the Mini Morbid theme song because you guys love it so much. And bitch, Old Morbid is back in the house. Hell, yeah. Here's your-Mini Morbid. Except it's a full morbid, so it's awesome.

It's a full morbid made out of two mini morbids, which is all the more morbid.

I said to Mikey, we should add a little clip, and I don't know if it should be like, times two at the end or like, times two. I like that, times two. Because it's like, it really hits after the... I like that.

I think we should add that in. So I mean, we did to this episode. So you'll find out right now.

Yeah.

Or you already found out which one we chose.

You fucked around and you pressed play and you found out. You did. All right. Do you want to go first or do you want me to? Yeah, go first. Oh, yay. Cool. I like when you go first. I'll go first.

I'm talking about the Beast of Bray Road. That's a little spooke.

Yeah.

He's scary, everybody. He's real scary. Hold on because I... Oh, it's Wisconsin. Okay. I forgot where this was. Please leave it in.

Hold on. I forgot where it was from. It's Wisconsin. Okay. Is that... Wait. I'm sorry. Is that the Midwest?

Yeah. Wisconsin is Midwest.

Is Illinois also the Midwest?

Yeah.

Yeah. Right?

Whoa.

My fear's on me because I said yes. Mine is from Illinois, so this is Creatures of the Midwest. Oh, my God.

Look at that. Look at that theme. Let me double check if Wisconsin.

What if everyone is screaming at us right now, bitch? That's not the Midwest.

I was like, don't- Wisconsin. You're asking me a lot of geography in first thing in the morning. Yes, Wisconsin is. I knew that.

I feel like Illinois definitely is.

I feel like Illinois is.

No, it definitely is because Drew's dad is from Chicago, and that's Midwest.

See, I got to stop second-guessing my own I knew about Illinois.

I second-guess myself, too. All right. Spooky shit brought to you from the Midwest. Hell, yeah.

Midwestern, spooky fucking shit. All right. So one afternoon in early 1992, which it's the '90s.

It was the '90s. I wasn't even alive yet.

Of 1992, I was seven.

Wait, that's crazy. You're such a bitch for experiencing of the '90s than me. Oh, the '90s. No, I know. The '90s. I'm nostalgic for it. There's got to be a different word for that when you're nostalgic for a time that you didn't experience.

Oh, yeah. I think it's just jealous. There is a word.

Is there?

For that? Because I think- Let's just pause this episode 80 times to look things up. People are nostalgic for times that they never lived in. I feel like I'm nostalgic for certain times, periods that I never existed in.

Like the Jack the Ripper time period?

Yeah. Or like the Roaring Twenties.

Oh, yeah. Wouldn't it have been great for us either of those times? No.

I'm just nostalgic for the esthetic and the vibe of it.

What is it called when you're nostalgic for a time you didn't experience? You did experience. Everyone's like, Can you just get to In my fucking case. Anna Moya.

Anna Moya. I like that.

Anna Moya. It's pretty.

So you experience Anna Moya?

I do. For the '90s. I do. Yeah. I experienced some of them, but I wasn't called to say.

I don't know. I was going to say it because it's me with the '80s.

Yeah. Even '99, I don't really remember.

I can remember... Flashes. I guess I can remember flashes of '80s things when I was five. Four or five. I can remember certain music videos. Yeah. Which like...

I feel like I can remember little blips from Mom and papa's house. I also have a very distinct memory. I can literally see it in my head. I remember the moment we were shopping with you, and I I don't know who else, but I fell out of my stroller, like face first. Whoa. Yeah. Do you remember that?

Why don't I remember that?

I don't know. You were there, though. Damn. You were there. You were there. And I fell out of my stroller. I fell out of my stroller. Which explains a lot. I can't remember it. Face first.

Damn. Yeah, I think it's... I think you can remember births because I'm like, I can remember a little piece of your being fat.

Your oldest remembers so much of her early childhood. And obviously she's still little, so it's not as far away. It's interesting.

I think it's also significant events. Because when she was four, she was in the hospital.

But she even remembers things before that, too.

But she really remembers that time.

I mean, that makes a lot of sense.

She remembers every bit of that.

I mean, that's dramatic.

That's why we love Boston Children's Hospital, because they were amazing. Her memories are pretty good for that. Yeah. But yeah.

All right. I don't know how to transition back to Scary Monsters. Yeah. But yeah. It's a scary Skeletons and Monsters from the Midwest.

So one afternoon in early 1992, a time where we feel anamoya.

Anamoya. I think.

I just looked it up. It was in Elkhorn, Wisconsin. A bus driver named Pat Lester was just chatting with one of her passengers, Doris Gibson. Doris. Doris.

Remember when I used to call myself Auntie Doris? Yeah.

I love that name.

Of course.

They were talking about strange things that she'd seen while she was out driving because she's a bus driver. She's probably in Wisconsin.

She's probably That's not mean at all. That's not mean at all.

Including an incident her daughter, Laurie, had had a few years earlier on Bray Road. According to Lester, her daughter had been out on the isolated road at night when she passed what looked like a large dog or a wolf that appeared to have human characteristics.

No, thank you.

Which sends me into orbit already.

What do you mean a large dog or wolf with human characteristics? What are the human characteristics?

Because I'm picturing a full human face I'm like a furry dog, and that's freaking me out. Or human hands.

No, I was just going to say- Big human feet. I just pictured a wolf with human arms doing my taxes because that's a very human characteristic.

I just pictured this galumping wolf with human feet. Big, oversize human feet.

Like, giant feet.

Rural Wisconsin does have its share of wildlife. They have wolves. They have coyotes. That's I think it's cool. Laurie didn't think too much of it and kept driving. She was like, maybe I just it's dark. It's dark. Maybe I just saw something weird.

I just want to say it's bullshit that we don't have wolves around here.

I think wolves are so cool.

They are. They're so majestic.

They are. They're Oh, fuck.

And they're so pretty.

And every once in a while I'll tell them that our dogs are related to wolves.

And they're like, they are. They're like these. They're a lot more domesticated. They're like this bitch.

As Blanche runs up the stairs farting on every I'm like, She descended from wolves.

Dolores has started farting, and it is ungodly.

It is. It makes crazy noises.

I'm like, Bitch.

Blanche, every time she runs up the stairs, she just farts her way all the way out.

How embarrassing.

She's not- Poor thing. She feels not a drop of shame.

Good for her.

But every time I'm like, She descended from wolves.

I want to come back as Blanche in my next life, the dog.

My kids are like, I don't think she Somebody else did. I doubt it. So to Pat Lester, the story seemed like one of those local urban legends or maybe just a misidentification of a pretty normal animal. She was like, I don't know.

You were tired.

Yeah. So she was like, I don't know. She didn't think anything shocking of it. But when she caught a glimpse of Doris Jipson's face, she was suddenly like, you know what? I think something happened here. Doris was genuinely terrified while she was talking about it. Oh, no. Now, according to Doris, she had encountered encountered a similarly strange animal to Laurie. Yeah. The daughter. Yeah. And she encountered it on Bray Road, I think the year before. It was Halloween night. Halloween Night.

Halloween.

1991.

Oh, God, the esthetic must have been going crazy.

One thing I do remember very well in the '90s is '90s Halloween parties at school. I remember that a lot.

I remember pictures of '90s Halloween parties.

Oh, so good. So this was Halloween night, 1991. And Doris, who was a senior in high school at the time, was driving home on Bray Road when she felt like she hit something on the street. Oh, fuck. She said, It was smoggy out and my front tire got lifted off the ground. So she was afraid that she had an animal. She was like, fuck. So she drove about 50 yards and then pulled over and she came to a spot that was out of the way. So she checks the front of her car. She sees if anything happened to be stuck under the car. She didn't see anything, but she walked around to the back of the car, again, saw nothing. And she was about to get back into the car because she didn't see anything around either. But then she looks down the road a little ways and she saw the thing. Later, she talked about it and she said, Here comes this thing. Here comes this thing. And it's just running up at me.

Oh, you get in your car and you drive out of there, girl.

She was a distance away, so couldn't tell what animal it was. She said it was large and hairy like a German Shepherd. The fuck? But much larger, and it didn't move like a dog. She said it moved more like a man crouched down on all fours. Eew, not a man. And that's why I can't stop picturing human feet glumping down the street. Yeah.

But I also just see him in a flannel. Yeah, right.

Oh, wow. Okay.

He's got a tattered flannel in my mind.

Oh, God. So he's like this straight up wereewal character. Yeah, yeah. But big. But she said, I could hear its feet on the asphalt as it's running at her. Now, she's terrified, obviously, and she turns and runs back to her car. She gets inside, closes the door just as this thing reaches her and dragged what sounded like claws along the outside of her vehicle.

No. Yeah.

She told local journalist Linda Godfrey, I just put my foot on the gas pedal and started going. She said she didn't get a good look at the thing because she was so terrified. It was dark, but she believed it had been chasing after her on two legs. No, no, no. Because she said as she like when she looked back, she could see it's huge chest heaving as it ran.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

I would.

It's terrifying.

No, that's so scary. I would never recover from this.

No. I would be. This would be the hot topic in therapy every time I went for the rest of my life.

I'd like to talk about the monster I saw.

Again, I would love to talk about that humanoid monster that chased me down the street.

How do you ever go to sleep again? That's the thing. Knowing that that's like, lurking in your whereabouts.

Because you know it's lurking around and you know it's seeing you. I'd be like, I don't know how intelligent this thing is. Maybe it knows where I live and it's going to break into my house and a real monster is going to fucking wake me up in the middle of the night.

And if there's one of them, it perhaps has a family.

Yeah, it has a whole crew. Not a squad. It has a crew like Jacob in twilight. And when they see you, they're going to say, Where the hell you been, Loca?

Bella, where the hell you been, Loca? I just watched that again. I'm going to say for the record that he's really hot in that movie.

Oh, all of a sudden you're team Jacob.

I was team Edward as a gal. And now as a woman, I'm team Jacob as a woman. Is that the natural thing? Is that natural? Although, you know what? I'm actually team none of them because Jacob comes on way too strong and he kiss Bella with no- I know he does. No consent. Yeah. So not team Jacob. Not team Jacob. But he is really hot.

I was team Edward. I'm always team vampire. I'm always team vampire. You love a pale man. I do. I love a pale man. I love a vampire. But he just also...

We can't get into this. Can we do the bonus episode about twilight in November? Would you guys kill us?

Guys, would you let us do that?

Please let us do. I want so badly to unpack the movie twilight from an adult perspective.

I would really love to unpack the movie, twilight from an adult perspective because I feel so many feelings about it. Please Comment on this post and tell us if you are down for us to do that as the bonus episode for November, because that would be really fun. Again, the bonus episode. The bonus episode. Not a regular episode of bonus episode.

Just know that if you say that you don't want that, you're breaking two hearts.

You're breaking our hearts. Okay? All right. So that's your task.

God, I so hope you guys say yes.

Let us know. All right. So when Doris gets home a little bit later, she's been through it. And like we were saying, now she's got to go home. She looked at the side of the car and there were huge claw marks on the backside of the car near the trunk.

So not only did she have a fucking terrifying experience, now she has to go get work done on her car, which is also a terrifying experience.

I was going to say, which sucks. Now, according to Linda Godfrey, the journalist, she saw the the Marks firsthand, and she said it appeared as though something with huge claws had dragged both sets along the rear of the car.

This motherfucker keyed her car. Yeah, with its claws.

Linda Godfrey had been referred to Doris by a friend who occasionally did some freelance writing for the local Elkhorn newspaper. Linda had been for an interesting local story to publish in the paper, and when she heard Doris's story about the encounter on Bray Road, she was like, whoa, this is exactly what I want. And her instincts were right. Doris was just one of several locals who'd seen something strange out on Bray Road, and their stories would eventually put the little town of Alcorn on the map when it came to supernatural encounters. Now, after interviewing Doris, Godfrey figured the young woman couldn't have been the only person in town who had seen this fucking crazy the strange humanoid wolf thing. So she went over to town hall and tracked down the animal welfare officer, John Fredrickson. It turned out that Fredrickson, who had been working in the town since the mid-1980s.

Oh, shit. He's been around.

I picture this in my head when I was reading this story because this hard-hitting journalist, Linda Godfrey, hears this crazy story from Dauris and then is just like, I'm going to go down to the local animal rescue officer. Is in the '90s. So I'm just picturing it all '90s-coated with a '90s lens. And then she finds John Fredrickson, who's like, Well, I've been this town's animal rescue officer since the 1980s. And you're just like, yeah, you have. You have stories.

He has authority.

You have stories. You have tales.

Tell me that. What does he look like in your mind?

Oh, I see him. He's older.

Yeah, mustache.

He's definitely not young. Yeah, he's got a mustache. He's chewing on a toothpick.

Okay.

He's just always chewing on a toothpick. All right. He's got a hat.

Yeah, definitely.

I'm trying to picture what hat, though. I feel like it could be similar to a newsboy cap or like a Scaly Cap.

Oh, all right. I love Scaly Cap.

Yeah, I think he's a lot of those...

He's got a vibe. You just described Dave, by the way. I did. You did.

So that's who I picture.

Dave also has a Scaly Cap and a toothpick at most times. It's true.

I did just picture Dave.

Does Dave just doesn't have a mustache, right?

Yeah, I just picture an older Dave. All right.

I mean, I see it.

Older Dave is that grizzled animal rescue officer who's going to tell you his story.

Let's go. Except Dave would be like, That's not real. That's not real. Get the fuck out of here. Dave would be like, That was a wolf. Leave me alone. We love you, Dave. I love that I picture Dave.

The good thing is, and this would be a Dave thing to do, he had been keeping a file on what he informally referred to as the Elkhorn wereewf. Dave would keep the file, and he would have all the receipts. Among other things, the file contained copies of reports of a large, unidentified animal that people were spotted in the area of Bray Road over the years. Local Paranormal Investigator Jay Bakertchin summarized all these reports basically as containing a description of a, quote, biped of walking humanoid dog with the muzzle, the ears, about seven to eight feet tall, hands hairy, I don't want to say like a human, but humanoid hands with claws, deep set fangs, enormous eyes, just ferocious looking.

No, thank you.

Like, what the fuck?

I don't like that it can walk on too.

Humanoid hands with claws.

No.

So he does have like humany hands, just with long nails. Eew. Which is so much worse.

I don't like how that I don't feel like they're scared. I don't feel like they're scared. Their eyes are scared. His colleagues are so big either.

And he's got big... I don't like that at all. I hate it all. I don't like it. And he walks... He's like, he's a biped.

That's fun to say, biped.

Bipedal, I think it is. Yeah, I think you're right. While the reports themselves were pretty fucking interesting. For Linda's purposes, more interesting were that some people had actually signed their names to the report. Oh, shit. Or just anonymous. That's crazy. Yeah. Including a report from Laura Andrizey, a local bar manager in Elkhorn. According to Lori, she was driving home on Bray Road one night in December 1991 after closing the bar, and she spotted something strange in the ditch beside the road.

That's always when you see the craziest shit on your way home from a fucking restaurant or a bar that you work at.

When you see something strange in the ditch next to Bray Road- Keep driving. Keep driving. It's not for you. Now, Laurie slowed down as she neared whatever it was by the side of the road. Its back was to her, but she could tell that it was kneeling in the ditch, and she could see that it had pointy ears. It's like a large dog. So you keep driving in the ditch.

You get out of there.

This would not have been unusual in and of itself, I guess. Just seeing a dog in a ditch, hanging out on the side of the road.

Oh, so you know what? I would stop for a dog in a ditch. Yeah.

But, Laurie said she was immediately put off by the fact that it was literally kneeling. She was like, immediately I'm like, oh, dog. And then I saw it kneeling. So Godfrey later recalled, she said it was kneeling in a way she didn't think a canine could kneel like a human. Yeah. So you see a dog in a ditch and your immediate thought is like, oh, a dog. I should stop and make sure it's okay. And then you look and it's kneeling like a human. So you hit the gas. Fuck that. So when she pulled ahead of it, Laurie looked into the rear through a mirror and was stunned by what she saw. The animal, she was at least sure that it was an animal at this point, was crouched down and appeared to be eating something. No. She said, its elbows were up and its claws were facing out, so I knew it claws. I remember the long claws. From what she could see, it looked as though it was eating some roadkill. When it finally noticed the car slowly pulling up beside it, it turned its head towards Laurie and the lights from the car reflected in its eyes, but it didn't run away like most animals would.

It just stared at her. And she said it struck her as very unusual that an animal would run away.

Yeah, it'd be stunned.

Or be stunned. It literally looked at her and then continued eating.

Dislike.

Later in her interview with Linda Godfrey, Laurie described the beast as, quote, dark, brownish-gray in color, somewhere around 5 feet, 7 inches in height and around 150 pounds. What a menace. And most unnerving at all, she said it looked almost human in shape, except for the head, which looked very much like that of a large dog or a wolf. She said, To this day, I believe it was Satanic. It was just my feeling. I don't really believe in werewolves, per se, but I believe something could be well conjured up.

That was not of God.

My favorite thing about that- What about that, Satanic? Right now is I don't believe in werewolves, but I do believe that's Satanic.

It's just like, Girl, if you believe that's Satanic. Don't believe in werewolves, but you do believe in a demon in the ground.

Let's not write off men that can turn into wolves on a full moon and say that this is Satanic. That's the thing. If you're believing this is Satanic, we got open up the door to werewolves. To a whole bunch of other shit. To a whole bunch of other shit. Possibly being real. Let's not write them off so fast, okay?

I was really rooting for you, girl. I was, too.

A few days later, Laurie went to the library and started combing some books on Wisconsin Wild life because this was bothering her. I mean, yeah. It would bother me, too. She was hoping to find something that resembled what she'd seen on the side of the road so she could just put it aside. She came up empty. She visited John Fredrickson's office and reported the sighting, hoping she'd be able explain something that he could just look at her and be like, Oh, that's this. Right. And Fredrikson said later, Not too long into the conversation, some books that were on the shelf just came flying down. There wasn't really any cause for the books to go flying down, so That was the end of that conversation. What?

What? I'm like, So is the essence of the werewolf in the room with us just fucking with you now? The essence of the werewolf. Is he everywhere?

He's everywhere. He's everything.

He's infinite. He's infinite. He's infinite to me. He is. Shout out to Michelle. Honestly, he's everywhere to me.

So the deeper that Linda Godfrey dug into Fredrickson's werewell file, she continued to discover reports of this unusual and really scary creature out on Bray Road, all giving more or less the same description. Not long after she published her first article about it, Linda received a call from a woman in Palmera, a tiny village of about 1,500 residents, 15 or so miles from Elkhorn. The woman was calling to report something her son, 17-year-old Tom Bricda, had experienced in the summer of 1992, not long after Laurie's encounter on Brae Road.

I wanted to go to there.

According to Tom, he and a friend, Chris Maxwell, were on their way home from a wedding reception one night in August, and they passed through Elkhorn. There was incredibly, super dense layer of fog that night. Tom was driving slowly when they felt a thud, like they'd hit something that they didn't see in the road.

It's giving I know what you did last summer.

It is. Bricda's mother said he thought he hit a mailbox, so he backed up. That's when he realized it was no mailbox. Tom opened the driver's side window and immediately noticed, quote, a real skunky smelling odor. Tom stuck his head out the window expecting to see a dead or injured skunk on the road. But instead, he something he still can't really explain. His mother told Linda Godfrey, he described it to me as big and hairy and that it was walking and, quote, reaching out in his direction. What? Now I'm just picturing him like with arms.

They come to me. With arms, what do you mean?

That's what I picture now. And now I'm like, maybe he's not Satanic. Maybe he's creed.

Spot the difference. Spot the difference.

I mean, spot the difference.

Maybe it's entirely possible. That he's Creed.

The entire band right here. That's why he's so big.

That's why he's so big. He's so many people. He's a whole band. He has arms, that whole band.

That's what he was doing. I'm screaming. So according to Tom's mother.

He's Creeed.

I just appreciate that. He's Creeed. So according to Tom's mother, the family had a cabin in the woods.

According to Tom's mother, he was not Creeed. He was not Creeed.

The family had a cabin in the woods and spend a lot of time hunting and camping. Tom definitely would have recognized any of the usual wildlife, like bears, wolves, coyotes, anything like that. In his videotaped interview or Creed, he wouldn't recognize them, so Oh, okay. You never know. In his videotaped interview with a reporter, Tom described it. He said, I saw a faint shadow of actually how big it was. It was large. Its lower chest or belly was at the top of my car. Oh, fuck. It was whiteish gray with black streaks in it, and it was hairy. I didn't get any facial details, but the lower part of the body I can describe to a T. It had large legs. The feet were a little fuzzy. I can't describe them as well as I can the arm that was reaching for my car. The fingers were either pointed or had quite the nails on them. The arm- Wait, I love quite the nails.

Quite the nails on them. I really need somebody to describe my nails as quite the nails.

Your fingers have quite the nails on them.

Haley, give me quite the nails.

I like that he wasn't like... That's a good way to describe it, that he's like, they weren't claws. They just had quite the nails on them. The arm was long and odd-shaped. Now, the sight of This thing in the road obviously terrified Tom, and he stomped on the gas trying to get as far away as possible. A few miles down the road near Highway 106, the boys spotted a state trooper and pulled over to report what they had just seen. So they reported it right away. When he got home that night, Tom got out and inspected his car, and he noticed that the animal had scratched a small piece of the pinstriping from the exterior. Rude. After going inside and telling his mom what happened, they called the Sheriff's office to report the incident a second time. Now, later, she was working on another article, Linda Godfrey confirmed the report with the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department, who verified that Tom did report that sighting that night. She also found other reports of an unusual animal sighting that same night. Oh, fuck. Including one report that came in about a half hour after Tom's report. Wow.

Yeah, which is strange. This feels legit. Yeah. Like the Sheriff's Deputy told Linda Godfrey, someone called in and said they saw a large object in the ditch at 106 in north and thought it It looked like a bear. A squad was dispatched and saw nothing. The two incidents were seven miles apart.

Wow.

Now, like Doris Jipson and Laurian Drizzie, Tom couldn't help but notice how humanlike this thing looked. That's what really stood out to him. It stood on two legs. It walked towards him like a person. Its head and upper shoulder. Shoulders were level with the cornstocks growing in the field beside the road.

No. That description is the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life. Do not ever be level with a cornstock in my presence. No, don't do it. Keep that away from me.

Don't do that. Also, just if you're next to a cornstock, I assume that you're dangerous.

You're nefarious.

As soon as cornstocks come into play, I'm terrified.

It's very he who walks with the He who walks behind the rose.

I don't need it.

Being level with a cornstock is not Satanic.

Being in the vicinity of a cornstock is pretty creed-like behavior.

Which is all just synonymous with- Chill out. Satanic. Chill out over there.

Tom said, It hadn't noticed us. Then it looked at the car and looked at me and gave- Are you ready?

Two thumbs up. Are you ready? Just kidding.

Honestly, not for her. It gave this little Snicker like it was challenging us.

Oh, so he's like a frat bro.

And it says, We were scared. It was huge. What? So he literally was- He snickered? He was just standing next to the corn, level with the corn.

Like that?

He looked over and did that-Let's see.

Let's hear yours. I see.

I picture him as being a little more dingus-y. He's like, he he he. Oh, wow. I picture him more he he he.

I don't like that one. That's almost scarier.

It is because you don't want a dingus chasing you. A dingus monster.

Honey, I've had a dingus chasing me a couple of times. A dingus monster, in fact.

Honey, I've had a They're going to be chasing me.

Honey, the land. Honey, the land. Honey, the dinguses. Honey, the land. I brought a couple home. You met them.

Oh, yeah, it's true. Dinguses forever. Not forever. But yeah, he said, Hey, And then he was challenging them. But he was scared. He didn't like it.

To a duel?

Maybe. To a sing-off.

Oh. He said, You guys know Creed? Yeah.

You guys like that band? Because I am that band.

I'll win this sing-off.

Now, after publishing the two-page spread about what she was by then calling the Beast of Bray Road, which is a great name. It is. In the fall of 1992, Linda Godfrey had become a representative of this creature at this point.

I mean, yeah, she's done the work.

She's doing a lot of PR for him.

She's his agent now.

She is.

Yeah, she signs him to a talent agency. She's his manager. No.

For a period of several weeks, she received countless new reports about the beast, some relatively recent from the previous few years, while others were much older. When she started out in her investigation, she assumed the beast sightings were a new phenomenon because a lot of times these things will come up and you're like, yeah, it's only been in the last few years, people just made this up. But as the stories poured in, she started to wonder whether Wisconsin had been home to some strange species that had somehow managed to avoid detection until now.

I mean, I could see why she would think that.

We're seeing too much of it. The article brought more accounts and countless sightseers encrypted hunters to the area in search of this beast debris road.

Which that's not great.

But by far, the most interesting among them was the editor of a paper from a nearby town who'd grown up in the area. And after reading Linda this article, remembered a story his father had told him when he was young. According to Linda, the man's father had worked as a night watchman for St. Coletta School for Except Children. Okay. This was in nearby Jefferson. On the school grounds, there were several, quote, ancient burial grounds. What? Yeah. They were trying to preserve, and the watchmen had taken to include them in their rounds. So they were trying to keep them like... At bay? No one to have bay. They were trying to preserve them. So they were trying to keep them from like, vandals, anything happening to them. They were keeping the vandals at bay. They were keeping the vandals at bay, keeping the ancient burial grounds safe. And at bay. Apparently. And at bay, apparently. So the night watchmen are using their rounds to go in there and make sure no one's fucking around. Yeah. One night, in 1936, the editor's father, Mark Shackleman, was doing his rounds when he came to the burial grounds and saw a large animal frantically digging into the mound like it was trying to unearth something.

No, thank you. Unsure of what he was looking at and not wanting to endanger himself, he quickly and quietly backed away. The next night, Mark was again on his rounds when he came upon the beast a second time at the same spot. And this time, though, he shined the beam of his flashlight at the animal. And to his horror, instead of running away, the creature rose onto its hind legs and stood up tall. And he estimated it to be more than 6 feet tall.

Level with the corn.

Level with the corn. The corn. Level with the corn.

Level with the corn.

Honey, the corn.

So the years later. How am I going I'm not going to follow this.

Years later, when he recounted the story to his son, Mark Shackleman described the animal as being covered with dark or black hair and having a terrible odor like long dead meat. A stank ass? A stank ass. And remember Tom, when he hit something in the road, he smelled like a skunk-like odor. So like a bad smell, like an odor.

I like the smell of skunk.

That's so weird to me. I won't even get into that because I don't understand it. It's a thing. No. Other people like it. I'm sure we're going to have a whole... No, don't use the comment. Wait a second.

No.

The comments are for twilight. The comment section is to tell us if we can do twilight for November's bonus episode. Do not support Ashes. I know I'm going to hear a million people be like- Don't support Asha. Asha, I'm on your side. I know everyone's on Asha's side here. It's okay. I don't like the smell of skunk. But you have to tell us in the comment section about the twilight bonus episode. No. Do not.

Guys, that was Elaina saying it. Here's me. It's Asha If you can trust me. It's Ash. I'm not reading from a script. She didn't write this for me. The comments are indeed for twilight. We need to hear your thoughts. I know that I have supporters out there who also like the smell of skunk. I know that. So don't even feel the need to reassure me.

Because I know you're out there.

You can PM me.

Yeah, there you go. Pm you? Oh, private message.

I think I aged myself there. I did too. Thank you for pointing it out. I think that's what old people on Facebook said.

I think you can evening you? I don't understand. I probably aged myself with that.

You can not evening me. I don't know what that means, but don't talk to me in the evening.

Yeah, don't evening me.

Anyway, twilight, twilight, twilight.

Stanky. So this thing stinks is what we know now. More surprising than its size Side. Side. Nope. Size. More surprising than how big it was was what the beast did next. Standing before him, it looked him right in the eyes. Confident. And made a sound the watchman later described as, Sounding a proto human language.

What?

It was though the creature was speaking to him, but it wasn't speaking English like we know it today. What? From where he stood, the only word Mark could make out was what sounded like Godara.

What does that mean? That's not a word.

So there is something to that.

Godara? Yes. Maybe he really wants some Godiva.

Godiva. No, they I think it's something else. So as they stood facing each other, Mark began to pray, assuming that this thing was going to attack him.

Frankly, I might do the same.

Honestly, he was like, I think I'm going to die right now.

If there's ever a time to pray, it's when a werewolf yells Godiva at you.

Literally. Now, when Cree in the form of a beast in front of you, Yells Godiva, pray.

By the corn stops. Or actually, he's on an ancient burial ground at this point in time. Oh, yeah, he's on an ancient burial ground. That's even more fucked up.

So Unfortunately, after uttering those strange words at him, it just turned and walked off into the woods.

Oh, I would feel cursed in that moment.

But here's another thing. So remember how Tom said this thing, like snickered at him, like made a fool of him? Shackleman said, and this was way before that account, he said, It looked like it sneered at me. I never saw that thing again or anything like it.

What's the difference between a sneer and a snicker? A sneer is like a…

A sneer is like a…

A stank ass face.

Like just gives you like a…

Like me challenging you. Like mean mug, yeah. Challenging you.

Like, yeah, like that little... Like that little…

Like he did that. Oh, it's like an…

To me, a sneer has that feel about it.

But not necessarily the motion.

He doesn't do that, like come at me, bro. But it's like that. She's sneering at me. I think they're like, You want to fight?

They're like, come get some? Yeah. Don't start none, won't be none. Exactly.

Wow. Yeah. What the fuck? Or like, if we're bringing it into today's world, Bitches ain't shit.

And they ain't saying nothing.

That's what this guy was saying to him. What if he was saying Bitches ain't shit?

What if they just did that trend?

And then he just turned around and walked into the woods and never heard it. And he kept saying, A hundred motherfuckers can't tell me nothing.

He does bees in the trap. He does.

So whatever the beast had said, if it had said anything at all, it made no sense to Mark Shackleman, obviously. He was like, I don't know what he was saying to me.

That would be the most horrifying It was only years later, after he told the story to his son, that it was pointed out to him that the word that the beast spoke sounded very similar to Godara, the town in the Bible, where Jesus casts out a legion of demons from a possessed man.

So I do think this is Creed.

I think it is.

I think it's Creed.

I mean, the only song I know of them is the arms wide open song.

But yeah, I mean, Creed, let us know. Creed?

If you're If you are- Are you also a wolf?

Are you the Beast of Ray Road? So the stories of the Beast of Ray Road that Linda had collected not only established a timeline dating back further than anyone had expected, but it also created a pretty unique legendary cryptid that brought a lot of legend trippers and paranormal enthusiasts from all over the country to this area, much to the displeasure of some local residents. But one thing Linda's collection of stories couldn't do was provide any indication as to where the animal had come from in the first place.

Maybe it's just of the land.

Honey, the land. Honey, the land. So to some, like Linda, it had probably always been there.

That's what I'm saying.

On the land, hiding among the Wisconsin forests are dense. Dense. Dense. But others predicted it was something evil in nature. Throughout the 1980s, there were rumors of Satanic cults active in the area, and many, like Lorian Drizzi, who we talked about earlier, couldn't help but think one of those cults may have brought the Beast of Bray Road into being.

Like, conjured it?

Like, conjured this demon.

If you have the ability to do that, you need to get to work on some other things as well.

And also, I'm sorry. If you believe that that can happen, you cannot discount werewolves being a thing. Facts. You just can't. I will stand on business with that. Ten toes down. John Fredrickson, who was the town animal rescue officer for some time, is willing to entertain such theories. He'll entertain any theories, really, when it comes to this. Okay. He said, I wouldn't discount some type of occult activity.

Yeah.

Which, I mean, he was the one who said the books came off the shelves when they were talking about it. But he said, if by chance somebody evoked some occult entities, maybe that's a thing. So he believes that maybe the occult is involved here. Maybe. And it was brought into being.

Or maybe there's just ancient shit in the world that we can't explain.

That's what I think. I think there's just ancient shit that we that have realized that we all suck and that it should stay away from us.

Probably.

And they do. And then every once in a while they don't because they're like... Because I think he truly has the mentality of Bitches ain't shit and they ain't saying nothing.

Well, and he also like, he's not really...

Your motherfuckers can't tell me nothing. That's why he's like, I'm not worried about you.

Well, and he's not really seeking anybody out. They're stumbling across him. Exactly.

He's like, I'm just trying to eat roadkill.

He's just out late night. He is.

He's just out late night eating roadkill.

It's just like that sometimes.

He's just having his version of a faux-faux.

It's also nice that he's eating roadkill and he's not. Yeah, he's not. Nobody saw him actively kill anything.

I have this one story thing about him, this one set of research about him, and nowhere in it do I see him tearing apart animals that are alive. So he's a pacifist. Is he trying to maybe kill humans?

I think he's just trying to fuck with them.

Or he's trying to be like, get the fuck back in your car. Maybe he's trying to teach us all some survival skills. And he's like, listen, none of you have of a survival instinct. You're all getting out of your car looking at me, a strange ass motherfucker who's on par with the corn. Who's bamping through the night. It's like you're all getting out of your bamfing through the night. And it's like, I'm trying to chase your ass back in your car so you know never to get out of your car again.

So you know what's up.

That if you are driving late night, do not get out of your car.

And maybe that's why he actually talked to the one guy who was the night watchman. Because he was like, I know you don't have a car, so Godiva, okay?

And I think he also was like, Last night you did the right thing and you just ignored me while I was on the mound.

Now you're shining a light upon me.

Now you're shining a light on me that doesn't feel very survival instinctish. So I'm going to teach you.

Go on.

I'm going to teach you, Bedava. And then he just- And Sneer. And then he walked back into the woods saying, Bitches, I hate shit.

And they ain't saying nothing.

So I think that is the Beast of Brey Road is just out here trying to teach us all some survival instincts.

I'm obsessed with him.

Yeah, I think he's pretty great.

I think he's real.

I think there's- I love his attitude. I do, too. I think there's- The Sneer, the snicker.

I also feel like there's not just one of him. I feel like he's got a squad. Oh, yeah.

I think they're all- Because there was a couple of different color descriptions. Yeah, there was some darker ones, some lighter ones. So I think, yeah, I think we have a whole crew here, and I think they all have fucking attitudes.

Also, maybe it is a twilight thing, and they're just people in the day, and then they shapeshift, like Awe's then from Buffy.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe. And then they have sick ass tattoos like Jacob and his squad. Hell, yeah. So that they don't imprint on children.

Don't do that. That's why we need to talk about twilight. Okay? Because we will talk about the future once. If you let us, if you let us.

If you let us, this could be a beautiful gift.

It could be a beautiful thing, but we want to make you guys happy with these bonus episodes.

I really- It's in your hands. Give us the opportunity to provide you twilight happiness because I can provide.

We can provide, okay?

We can provide. No, honestly, if you guys don't let us do twilight, I might cry.

Sorry, I took a bite of a donut.

This bitch just has a chipmuck cheek full of a Boston cream. I really do. That's so Boston of you.

All right, I'm back. Sorry. I took a bite right as we hit record and I was like, what?

Donut break.

Donut break. Yeah, we got to do twilight. We just got to. Please. It's going to be great. You want more of this? More of this commentary? Let's go. Let's go. Open it up.

All right, honey. Well, it's my turn. And we're still in the Midwest. Have no fear. We haven't traveled out of there. Good. We're going to be talking about the Enfield Monster. Not to be confused with the Enfield Poltergeist.

I was confusing them. So thank you for telling me.

I'm glad that I could be of assistance. Thank you. Are you here today. Thank you for being here today. So on the evening of April 25th, 1973, 50-year-old Henry McDaniel and his wife, Will, they were just coming home from a school function. Some shit for the kids. Henry and Will. Henry and Lil. They got home a little past 9: 00, and they found their two kids in a state of absolute panic.

That's not where you want to find your kids.

No, they were freaking out. No. And according to them, they obviously stayed home alone after their parents went out. Not long before When her parents got back, they started hearing loud scratching noises at the door.

Yeah, I don't want any of this when I come home.

No. And when whatever was at the door wasn't able to get through, they said it moved onto the windows and that they also heard claws scraping Getting across the metal of the air conditioner outside or the condenser.

It's time to burn the house down.

Get rid of the entire... Well, no. Get rid of all of it. Where else are you going to seek refuge?

I mean, I don't know. This doesn't feel like a refuge, though.

I know, but don't be burning down your house when the cryptids are outside.

I mean, that's never really a good solution to anything, burning down your house, but here we are.

You heard it here first. Don't burn down your house. Don't do it. So neither of the kids managed to really get a good look at the animal. The best they could say was that it was just a weird creature. So obviously the parents were like, Okay, we won't leave you home again.

The amount of times my kids have been like, did you see that weird creature in the woods? And I'm just like, it's probably a deer.

You know, it's actually wild. That literally happened this morning.

I believe it.

One of your kids, first of all, saw like something crazy in the forest and then told me that there was a pelican on my head this morning. Yeah, we sure did. Fun fact, no pelican on my head.

Yeah, can confirm there was not a pelican on her head. She looked in the tree, though, and she was like, I saw something big and brown and furry in the tree. That's why it's moving so much. And I was like, that's a squirrel. That's a squirrel. That's just a squirrel, babe. Yeah, it's a brown squirrel. So I'm sure these parents were like, that's just a squirrel, babe.

And that's the thing. And Enfield is like, it's a rural place, but it's not so remote that they would have to contend with aggressive or confrontational wildlife. So they were like, okay, I I don't know about that. They're like, It's probably been. But then, not long after the kids went through the whole story, the entire family started to hear the sounds again. So the parents were like, Fuck, should have believed you.

Damn.

Henry later told a reporter, This thing was trying to get into the house.

Oh, I I like that.

So now concerned that whatever it was might succeed this time because obviously it's trying and trying again. Henry ran to his bedroom and he grabbed a flashlight and a 22 caliber pistol that he kept on his bedside table. His flashlight is good. By the time he came back, the beast moved from the front of the house, moved on. So he slowly opened the door, aimed the flashlight out there. And after a quick sweep of the yard, the flash light's beam landed on the thing that had been clawing at the door. And now it was standing between two flower bushes at the edge of the yard. Later, Henry said it had three legs on it, a short body, two little short arms, and two pink eyes as big as flashlights.

That sounds horrifying and hilarious all at the same time.

And adorable. It has three legs and two little stubborn arms.

Two little Stubby arms.

I can't picture like that. It's literally T-rex arms. And it's just standing between two flower bushes.

You know what it sounds like? It sounds like a child's drawing. It does. It comes to life.

Because it also has pink eyes.

Yeah, it sounds like a kid's drawing.

Mikey just asked me if I farted in its eye, and the answer is no, because this was 50 years ago. Mikey, did you fart in its eye? Oh, fired. Boom, rose, then. Boom, fired. I'm just kidding. Don't kill me. You guys all love Mikey. I get it, Elaina. From where Henry was standing, the shape of the body, he said, like some similar to yours, almost looked human. He said it was around...

I thought you were saying similar to my body.

Similar to your body, yadi-yadi. It almost looked human.

I was like, wow, your shots are just ringing out in this podcast studio. I thought you were like, similar to yours, it looks almost human. I was like, whoa. Wow.

I realized I've had some kids, but... I realized it. But damn. I realized it was something that... I would never say that to you. What if I ever said something that diabolical to you.

That's why I was like, whoa.

Damn. Similar to your crypted idea. Similar to the beast of Rey Road. Yes, similar. Not to the beast of this podcast. Arguably, I'm the beast of the podcast. Actually, arguably, you are. I can't. I can't read. I'll take it. I can't read. I'll own it. No. Similar to your cryptid. It looked human. It was a little shorter than yours, your cryptid from you. Actually, it was around your height. It was about five and a half feet tall. Maybe I am this cryptid. Well, it was a grayish color.

I mean, I've been there.

After you get buried, actually. After you had those kids, you were pretty gray.

So far, I'm checking off all the problems.

I don't think I'll ever recover from you thinking that I said you were almost human. I think we might need to pause so I could breathe. Hold on.

It was after you were like, Mikey, you're 100.

Then you were like, similar to you.

I looked almost human.

I was like, whoa.

She's just like, pow, pow, pow.

And you know what, Debbie? Hey, Deb. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Take cover.

Cran, ran. All right, all right.

All right, all right. All right. Get it together. Get it together. So from where Henry was standing, the shape of the body almost looked human, similar to your cryptid. Thank you for that. It's around five and a half feet tall, except it was a grayish color.

Okay.

From the doorway, he aimed the pistol and he fired in the direction of the beast at least four times. He was not fucking around.

No, he was like, Die.

He was like, die. He said, When I fired that first shot, I know I hit it. The creature gave out a kiss, much like a wild cat. Then after it cried out, it just turned around and got the fuck out of there. And he said it covered 50 feet in just three or four bounds before disappearing into the woods completely.

Holy shit. It's literally like Edward Cullen when he runs really fast. Yeah.

Hold on tight, spider monkey.

Look at me pointing back to twilight to get it on your mind again.

There's so many things I want to say, even about that, just that one. And we will. Seen alone, and you better let us. Yeah, you got to.

He was shocked by whatever the fuck he just saw in the backyard.

We ran inside and he said, 911, I'd like to report a cryptid. And two state troopers arrived a short time later because they didn't have a lot to do, I guess.

Yeah, they were like, Let's see what this is about.

So they arrived obviously way too late to see what this was. But with Henry's help, they were able to find the tracks that the animal had left behind or the cryptid. They were nothing like anybody had really seen before. The tracks in the dirt looked somewhat similar to what a dog might leave behind or an animal with a similar foot pad, but it had six toe pads on each foot instead of five.

It's a six-toed, three-legged, The armed bitch. Great thing.

Yeah. Or bitch. Or bitch, if you're nasty. So the three men searched the perimeter around the house in a short distance into the woods, too, but they didn't really find anything aside from the prince. Back at the house, they listened as Henry described what this was. And at first they were, I was like, what? They said, maybe it's just a large dog that you never have seen before.

A large six-toed dog.

Maybe it's a large six-toed dog with three legs.

That's five and a half feet tall.

And has tiny arms as well. Yeah. Makes sense. They were like, I don't know.

Honestly, valid. Why not just throw that out there.

Yeah. Just in case. It might stick to the wall. Yeah. Henry was like, no, not a dog.

Pretty sure it wasn't.

But after listening again to the description, trooper James Masser said that While it seemed highly unlikely one could be roaming the woods of Western Illinois, he said, It sounds like you're describing a kangoo.

Has he seen a kangoo before?

Okay, so obviously- Has this man seen one? Here's the thing. Kangaroos don't have three legs.

I was like, as we know, but- What does he think a kangoo is?

Well, I see what he's getting at. So they don't have three legs, but in the dark, a tail could have given the appearance of an animal standing on three legs, especially because they also use their tails for balance. So it might have looked like he was standing like that. But it could have accounted for some of the other features, too, especially because he was in the dark. Yeah. Because they have those little arms.

Yeah.

They're grayish. We're in the Midwest. Some of them. We're in the Midwest, right? That's the thing. He was like, It sounds crazy because I don't think there would be a kangoo in Illinois.

Just Roman. I've never seen a rogue kangoo.

I haven't either, much to my chagrin.

Yeah, I mean, I would love to.

I would really love to see a random kangoo.

Do kangaroos have six toes?

That I don't know. Let's find out.

Do they have toes at all?

At first it said 18, and I said, What? Five toes on each front jaw and four toes on each hindfoot. So Oh, ney.

So no. There's less.

Damn. All right. Well, there goes that. So there's that. Well, he said in the dark, it could appear to have a human shape. Gray is the color for kangaroos. And he said it could have easily explained the growling hist that it let out after it had been shot and how the animal managed to cover so much distance in a short time. But like you just said, they don't have six toes on each foot.

Yeah, that's your... That would have been my first question.

Yeah. Well, Master suggested it could have been a kangoo, but Henry flatly rejected that explanation. He said, he once had a pet kangoo while serving in the army in Australia, so he would recognize one if he saw it.

I'm literally obsessed with the fact that he was able to shut that down with that.

He said, Bitch, I had a kangoo once. He said, Oh, you think you know about kangaroos? He said, I'm going to one up you here. I had one. I had one. This is my kangourou.

This is not. And honestly, that would make me be like, did you release your kangoo? Wait a second.

I don't really know what happened.

You have a connection a kangoo?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, aside from taking down the information, there really wasn't a lot, but they could do the troopers at that point. So they conducted their brief search and then they left the house, assuming that that was probably the last they'd hear about it. They were like, This guy's crazy. He's crazy. In a town like Enfield, the population is less than a thousand residents. So there's not a lot that goes on there, especially back then, without somebody else in town knowing about it and then everybody else in town knowing about it. So not long after the state troopers had shown up at the McDaniel's house, almost Just 50 to 75 onlookers had lingered in and around the family's yard while they conducted this search, just trying to figure out what was going on. Yeah. And as a result, of course, over the next few days, everybody in town, including a lot of reporters, had heard about the unusual encounter, and they just wanted to hear directly from Henry himself.

I would want to hear.

Now, Henry was like, Hell, yeah, I'll tell you everything. Over the few days after the encounter, he gave a ton of interviews where he described the animal, and he just kept giving increasingly dramatic retellings of the story, which, honestly, if I saw what he saw in his backyard, I'd do the same thing. When asked how he was able to recall the event so clearly and describe the beats, like all the details, he said, I have a photostatic memory.

Obviously. Yeah.

He also told reporters that he was sure he wasn't mistaken in what he saw because the next day, some school children told him that they had seen a similar-looking animal while they were playing on the school's baseball field. Oh. So now we got more I would, he says. Look at that. He said he was sure it wasn't, quote, a prankster. And he said, Because no man can run that fast and leap such distances.

I don't know. Ask Edward Cohen.

I don't know. Just saying. Hold on tight, spider monkey. Now, when it came to exactly what the thing was, he didn't really know exactly. But he said he did have a theory. He said, If they do find it, they will find more than one, and they won't be from this planet. I can tell you that.

I like where he went there. I like that he went full stop.

He said Martian.

He said, Ten toes down, this is an alien. It's an alien.

They should study it. Okay, I'm into it. So when the articles were published in the papers about the sighting, Henry's phone started ringing off the hook. He said he got around 250 phone calls, mostly from people telling him that they thought he was describing a kangoo. So everybody was really 10 toes down on that.

Everyone's so willing to accept the fact that a kangoo is just rogue in the Midwest right now. They really are. Everyone was just like, Yeah, probably a kangoo. If somebody was I saw something strange last night. We're in Massachusetts. I saw something strange last night in my backyard. It looked like this. The furthest thing from my mind would be that's a kangoo. And if somebody was like, I think it was a kangoo, I'd be like, I can tell you 100 reasons why it wasn't.

Yeah. I can tell you 150 reasons why that's a cryptid and not a kangoo.

Pretty sure our climate is not super similar to Australia.

No, definitely not.

I don't really think they're hanging out here.

That's the thing. I don't even know if they really could survive for a long I don't see them roaming around. I don't think so either.

I've yet to see one.

Well, according to Henry, one call that he got was from a government representative who told him it was the fifth sighting of such a phenomenon. And the first being was in 1967, near Denver, when UFOs were reported seen in the West.

I like that a government representative was like, Hello, Henry.

Hello, Henry.

I'd just like to call you and tell you that you are one of five people who have seen that. Okay. All right, Henry.

He's like, Here, You know what? I'm going to validate you because everybody's calling you and saying, this is not a kangoo.

Or this is a kangoo. You know what? There's nothing that a government representative loves to do more than to validate civilians. Yeah, it happens all the time.

It happens all the time. It happens every single day.

I see it so much.

Me too. In the streets.

They're always validation. They're always just getting on the horn and being like, I would love to validate you.

Getting on the horn. I love it. So Henry maintained. He was like, yeah, that government official is right. I didn't see a kangoo. And other people saw this shit, too.

I mean, I trust Henry here.

So he maintained that what he saw wasn't a And he cited plaster molds that had been sent to the lab for evaluation of the tracks that they got. And they didn't look anything like a kangoo print. Of course not.

It's not a kangoo. Yeah.

I actually, we talked about it quickly earlier, but they're unique and easily recognizable because of the shape of the foot and the fact that they have large claws. Yeah. According to Henry, an anthropologist who had seen the prints casually identified them as resembling those of a bear. So he's like, that's the furthest thing from a kangoo.

No, because you look at a kangoo's claws, they're like, They're long. They're long. They're long. I think when they're running, they go up a little on them. But still, those are long ass claws and they're like, very spindly.

Yeah. And remember, they said it looked like a dog print with another, an extra toe. So it's What? Who knows about the tracks. But while the mystery of the species remained unsolved, what was clear to most law enforcement and local fish and game agents was that Henry wasn't making this entire thing up. Not only had the state troopers actually seen the tracks outside of the McDaniel house, but they also followed them down the railroad tracks and into a cornfield a few miles away.

Oh, they're always up in the corn. Cryptids love corn.

Cryptids plus corn equals love. Honey, it's the land. Honey, it's the corn. Honey, it's the corn.

They're just always up in there.

They are. This guy is not as tall as the corn like your guy was. That's okay. I forgive him. But he was... But honestly, that probably made it easier because he could traipse through the corn. Yeah. He was he who walks behind the rose.

Walks in the rose. In them. Also, I looked at a kangoo track No. No. Have you seen them? I haven't even seen a kangoo track.

Oh, it looks like there's only two toes in a kangoo track. Yeah. No, that doesn't look like a kangoo track at all. Not a kangoo.

They need to look up their shit before they start sighting that an Australian creature is in our midst.

Probably. Yeah, probably. But the government agreed that it's not the government. So the mystery deepened a few days later when investigators pulled, quote, something resembling hair off of one of the tree limbs in that field. Gross. Where they were around. According to Henry McDaniel, they all agreed, quote, the material looked nothing like animal or human hair.

Eew. Yeah.

I don't like it. Now, when he was asked whether there was any blood or other evidence found that would indicate that Henry had hit the animal when he fired that night, he told reporters the anthropologist saw drippings of a clear substance that they collected for samples, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Damn.

So something came out of this cryptid or animal, and it was a clear liquid. Something. Yeah.

He just went ooosing away.

Yeah. But they didn't know what it was. They got samples.

Well, and it's like, that's the thing because it got shot. Yeah. At least once. And it's like, is that it's blood?

Maybe. Does it bleed clear liquid? It's like a Buffy zombie, not zombie, like a demon. Yeah.

Or it's very alien-esque. It is.

That's why Henry thought that.

I'm on Henry's side.

Unfortunately, by the end of April, the story petered out when most of the press and public moved on. But it was survived in early May when Henry called reporters to say he had seen the beast a second time on May sixth.

Henry's always seeing this beast.

I know it. He is. One time, two times. He's seeing them. He's seeing them. He said he got... He was awoken in the night by his dogs barking around 3: 00 AM, the witching hour. And when he went outside to see what had gotten them so agitated, he saw the same three-legged monster standing on the railroad tracks about 75 feet away. He said, I've seen something moving down the railroad track, and there it stood. I didn't shoot at it or anything. It wasn't in a hurry or nothing. When asked whether he was unnerved by seeing something paranormal for a second time, he said, I wasn't scared. I'd like to have it as a pet in charge admission. It's something that's there, and we got to accept it.

I'm literally obsessed with Henry. Henry's the best. I like his vibe. I like his whole thing here. He's like, This thing is there. Let's just accept it.

He's also saying, I think we have a connection because he keeps coming back to me.

Yeah, and I'm not scared about it.

I think maybe we're kindred spirits. So I see him, he sees me, and I could have him.

He said, with arms wide open, I accept this creature.

Full fucking circle. And he would have named him Creed. He would have. So there you have it. There we go. Well, the second signing obviously brought a new round of reporters to Enfield, including WWKI reporter Rick Rainbow. Rick Rainbow. It's always so fun to say newspaper names like that or radio names like WWKI.

Because you have to say it like that. Yeah.

So Rick Rainbow was accompanied by Edward Phillips, a pet store owner and a big game hunter. Rainbow interviewed Henry, and Phillips went out to the area where the animal had last been seen, and he started making plaster cast out of the tracks in the dirt again. Smart. Later in his reporting, Rainbow described the tracks as about 4 inches in diameter and having five distinct toe pads, possibly a six.

Not a kingroo.

No, definitely not. According to Rainbow, there were at least three other people in the area who had, seen something that, shall we say, is strange, including the McDaniel's next door neighbor, 10-year-old Greg Garrett, who said he saw the animal about half an hour before Henry had the first time. He said he was in the backyard when the thing confronted him and, quote, stepped on his feet and tore his tennis shoes to shreds.

That's the most 10-year-old thing to say in the world.

He said, That's what happened to my tennis shoes. He said, That's what happened to my tennis shoes.

He stepped on my goddamn shoes, and that's the reason they were all fucked up, Ma. Yeah. That's the reason.

It's the cryptid.

Do you feel stupid now, Ma?

Ma, it was a cryptid, not kangoo.

Ma, that's why I need new shoes, Ma.

That was exactly what I thought when I read this, too.

Kangoo cryptid stepped on my... It confronted me.

I need new shoes. It stepped to me. What was it? It sneered at me. It did.

It sneered.

It said, Come at me, bro.

It did all the thing. Now I need new shoes, mom.

I believe it. I know. That's the thing. It's like, I believe Henry saw this thing. I really wish another adult had.

I also wish that.

And not 10-year-old Greg. But here's the The second sighting of the monster didn't just bring reporters. It also brought a small group of hunters from as far away as Indiana all looking to capture whatever this was and capitalize on it.

No, don't capture him. I know.

When in Rome. Well, when in Rome, the police felt that way, too. On The afternoon of May eighth, local police arrested five teenagers from Elwood, Indiana, on charges of violating hunting regulations after they were discovered to be hunting without a license and had literally no proper safety precautions.

They were just like, wily, shooting off into the distance.

Literally. Just before they got arrested, they said that they saw a, quote, gray hairy creature in some under brush and that it ran faster than a man.

So let it be, man. It's better than us. Yeah, don't shoot it. If it's better than us, it deserves to be here. That's what I think. It ran faster than you.

That's it. If it can outrun you.

Survival of the fittest, baby. It fit.

There's another twilight thing where it's like, Outrun you. What is he saying?

As if you could outrun me.

I love it. Oh, man. Please, please, you guys. I beg of you. You got to let us. Back to this. So they all took aim at the beast, they called it, and they fired with rifles and shotguns. Two thought they hit the animal, but it still managed to get away. So this man is out here, or this creature is out here, like Swiss cheese still gets away.

He's just leaking fluid.

Everywhere. Ewe. Ewe. Ewe. Ewe. Ewe, Garra. So be prompted White County, which is a crazy name for a county. Deputy Sheriff Jim Clark. You're like, Side note. Like, Side note. Maybe come up with a different name. Rename your county. That's rude. But White County Deputy Sheriff Jim Clark made a public statement, warning everybody else that they were about to be arrested if they kept shooting this thing. He said, Nothing I know of is in season now, especially monsters. Anybody we know of out hunting Monsters, especially with guns, will be put in jail. We are afraid they will kill somebody.

He said, Y'all, Monsters are not in season right now.

That's literally what he said. He was like, I'll let you know. We'll come up with a new law here in Watt County.

You think you got a monster hunt license? I don't know why they're suddenly Southern, but they are.

It's literally Illinois.

If you're talking about monster season.

There's like a Chicago accent, but it's really hard to do. It is.

It's hard. I don't even try it because I'll piss you all off.

I have family from Chicago, okay?

We're not out here trying to piss off Chicago. We love Chicago.

Sometimes Drew has a weird Chicago accent.

I love that for him. Yeah.

But anyway, by then May, most people in and around Enfield were pretty tired of the Enfield monster. How could you be? It's ridiculous in my opinion. It's ridiculous. They just wanted things to return to normal, which I've never wanted. I can't relate. The editor of the Carmy Times wrote, The case of Enfield's alleged monster has, for all intents and purposes, reached a climax and apparently is going downhill.

I mean, let's take alleged out of there. It's a monster. It is.

Even the Sheriff thinks so. At the Sheriff's office, deputies were writing out citations left and right to would be monster hunters for trespassing, violating local hunting laws. And other city officials were frantically trying to answer questions from reporters who were like, Hey, what's up here in white County?

What's up with this monster?

Sheriff Roy Poshard told reporters he had already, quote, declared an end is going to be put to the monster kick before somebody gets hurt, and he loses his mind answering queries from news media. He was like, I'm going to go crazy on your I don't want to talk to you all anymore. He's like, Go on, get. Go on, get. So Whether local law enforcement and residents wanted to be done with the monster was irrelevant. As long as there was still some interest in the beast, and it turned out there was. Of course. So after speaking with Rick Rainbow about his reporting, I think it's Lauren Coleman, a graduate student at the University of Illinois, he decided to come to Enfield and study the animal himself if he could. He had spent years collecting data on similar sightings of unidentified animals all around, and he thought that the Enfield monster could actually be a legitimate case of a previously the unseen species.

Yeah, because that's the other thing. It's like, it doesn't have to be a monster, everybody. We don't know everything that's on this planet.

We discover new shit all the time. It's called science. Look it up.

Could just be a new strange-looking animal.

That's what Lauren said. He had a degree in shit. Yeah. So unfortunately, though, after just a few days of, looking out for the beast, he gave up on his search when he came away, or when all he came away with was just a few nice pictures of the white county countryside. Pretty. Yeah. Name it something He insisted he wasn't giving up, but he told a reporter he wouldn't resume his search until there was more definite information, which is a bummer. Lame. So the final word on the monster came in mid-May when a letter from a man in Ohio arrived at the office of the Carmy Times, addressed to the publisher. The letter writer, Alan Yorkshire, had read all the stories about the Enfield Monster, and like many, he believed the description matched that of a kangourou, and he was wrong.

Guys, it's not a fucking kangoo. If this is a kangoo, I'll eat my It's not.

But this is crazy. The difference between his suggestion and the suggestion of countless other people was that he actually owned a kangoo.

Okay, maybe you're an expert, but I don't know. It's not a kangoo. I'm going to eat my hat.

Well, according to him, his pet kangoo, Macy, had gone missing a year earlier. Shut the fuck. And he believed that she was stolen by somebody who was relatively local. Macy did fit the description of the monster and was described by her owner as a well-trained and gentle. And in his letter, Alan indicated that he would be traveling to Enfield soon and would offer a reward to anybody who could lead him to Macy. But as far as anybody knows, he just never showed up in town.

Are we sure he had a kangour named Macy?

I don't know.

Is this very valuable information?

I mean, he wrote to the people.

Or did he just say, So I had this kangoo named Macy?

I don't know.

She turned up missing.

I have no idea, but I think he had a kangoo named Macy. I don't know.

That's so specific. I know. Almost too specific.

I never know. Unfortunately, he didn't come out. Yeah. Well, it turned out that the letter from Ohio was the last piece of significant information on the origins of the Enfield monster. A year later, a reporter from De Kalb traveled down to the town to see if anything had come of the story, but most people were pretty eager to put it behind them. A waitress at Echo Cafe said, I think it's about all over now. I heard the Sheriff told him he better not be seeing any more monsters or he'd be off to the funny farm. She's talking about What about Henry?

Damn. Yeah. Poor Henry.

So whether or not law enforcement actually told Henry to keep his mouth shut is unknown. They might have. But what is clear is that once they put the story behind them, the Sheriff's Department fully intended to keep it there. In 1974, Sheriff Posh said, No, there ain't no damn thing to it. I let all that stuff go on until he got people with guns out there.

I mean, I can understand that he doesn't want people with guns trying to hunt this thing.

Yeah, that's the Sheriff's worst nightmare. That I totally get.

That's very dangerous.

Yeah, that's the thing.

It could have all been None of you needed to shoot this thing. You could have just been like, oh, we have a fun local monster. Just let it be.

Things just got too risky once everybody was shooting willy-nilly.

We have plenty of local monsters floating around the Bridgewater Triangle. Yeah. None of us are out here trying to kill them. No. Just let them be.

Let them live.

They were probably here before on any of us.

They definitely were.

So I don't give a shit. Pucuajis? All right.

You out there? I think they're out there. Whenever I take Dolores out at night, I'm like, fuck Pucuajis. I think about it frequently.

Thunderbird.

I forgot about Thunderbird. It is what it is. Pucuajis are my biggest worry.

Yeah, Pucuajis will fuck you up. I don't want to fuck with them. But that's the thing. I don't want to fuck with them. And they don't fuck with me. I'm not trying to kill you. Don't try to kill me.

It's what I always say, Pucuajis. Live and let live.

Exactly.

Pucuajis. I live.

I let you live. Yeah.

Well, a few years later, in 1978, a team of sociologists waded on the Enfield Monster, and they called the story Boo, a classic case of social contagion.

Whatever, man.

Based on their analysis, the number of actual sightings were a lot smaller than most people thought they were. And-false. One of the supposed sightings, the one that Greg Garrett had seen, was a practical joke, unfortunately.

I mean, I'm not shocked.

I think he just fucked up his tennis shoes.

Yeah, he did. Absolutely.

Yeah. In their final report, the team concluded, Of the several monster reports discussed in Enfield on the McDaniels' first-hand reports and the May sixth report of the WWKI Party were made by people who were made by people who in all likelihood thought they saw something. But Henry McDaniel maintained that he did indeed see an unidentifiable creature in his yard that night. And the state troopers did find evidence of a strange fucking animal having been there.

He saw something.

So something happened in Enfield that night, even if we don't know for sure what it is. And that is why the Enfield monster has remained a local Illinois legend ever since.

Illinois, you have a monster. You do. It's okay.

And it's not a kangoo.

No, it's not a kangoo, and it's okay.

It's fine. It's all right. Also, if white county is still named that, you really have to change it. It's crazy.

That goes crazy. It goes really crazy. I believe Henry.

I believe Henry.

And I'm prepared to defend him. Yeah.

I think our cryptids should team up and just take over the Midwest.

I think so. I think they have. I think so. You know?

Yeah.

The Beast of Bray Road, I think, could really do some damage. I think he did. It seems like the end He was just hopping along. He was just hanging out. Yeah. Do you want to get in the house? Maybe.

Maybe he was cold.

Exactly. It's a Midwest.

It's like, Are you for the dark?

I'm cold. Maybe that's what it is.

Yeah. And maybe he was knocking, but it just sounded like he was scratching because he's got Crilex. He's got Crilex. It's like Sheena Shay. She can't make a fist. She can. How are you going to knock if you can't make a fist? You just got to tap with your nails.

She taps on that phone. There you go. Sheena Shay. I am watching Old Vanderpump Rules episode. As you should be. That's very relevant.

All right. Well, I love these cryptids. That was cryptids. Let us know if we can cover twilight because we're going to on the bonus episode.

On the bonus episode.

No, bonus episode. Bonus.

Not the actual episode.

Bonus.

Bonus.

We hope you keep listening.

And we hope you keep it weird.

But not so weird that you... No, actually, do keep it so weird that you spot a crypt in the wild, and then please tell us all about it. Yeah.

And let us do twiling.

I mean, we're doing it. I've decided.

Executive decision. Executive decision, stamped.