Transcript of Financial Abuse and Resilience with Mary Bonnet of Selling Suset

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future, and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at chime. Com/mnen. When you check out Chime, you'll see you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an O. G. Listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with CHIME. Open your account in just two minutes at chime. Com/mnen. That's CHIME. Com/mnn. Chime. It feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank Corp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA.

Members FDIC. Spotme eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boots are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime. Com/disclosures for details. Money rehabbers, you get it. When you're trying to have it all, you end up doing a lot of juggling. You have to balance your work, your friends, and everything in between. So when it comes to your finances, the last thing you need is more juggling. That's where Bank of America steps in. With Bank of America, you can manage your banking, borrowing, and even investing all in one place. Their digital tools bring everything together under one roof, giving you a clear view of your finances whenever you need it. Plus, with Bank of America's wealth of expert guidance available at any time, you can feel confident that your money is working as hard as you do. So why overcomplicate your money? Keep it simple with Bank of America, your one-stop shop for everything you need today and the goals you're working toward tomorrow. To get started, visit BFA. Com/newprosmedia. Media. That's BofA. Com/newpros, P-R-O-S, Media. Bofa. Com/newprosmedia. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand.

It's time for some money rehab.

We know about romance scammers like the Tinder swindler who steal money from women they're dating.

But what do you do if you are married to that person? How do you ever trust anyone again? That's what Mary Boney had to ask herself when this happened to her. You know Mary from Selling Sunset, she's an O. G. Member of the cast. And today we talk about that. But we also talk about everything that happened before, which she writes about in her new book, Selling Sunshine, which I linked in the episode notes. In this conversation, we talk about Mary's past experience with financial abuse, how that experience impacted her relationship with husband now, and what the heck is going on with the Selling Sunside cast. Here's Mary. Mary Bonet, welcome to Money Rehab.

Thank you for having me.

So you are this glamorous being. You are just so stunning. Even more stunning in real life.

Thank you.

But you grew up a far ways away from Sunset.

Oh, yeah. I sure did. In Indiana. In Indiana.

So take me back to origin story of Mary.

Oh, just a normal Midwest upbringing. I had a really great childhood. We were by no means rich. We were very frugal. But we were happy. We just did the normal small town stuff. I go down to a lake at the end of our street and catch tagpoles and watch them grow up, and then I'd release them. And just played out in the streets and come back when the streetlights came on. And it was a really cool upbringing. Very simple.

You wanted to be when you grew up.

A Or a Dolphinarian or a dolphin trainer. That's what I wanted to be.

But not a reality star or- Definitely not.

Or a real estate agent? No, I didn't even think that was- An option? Yeah. I mean, they didn't have reality shows back then. I think the real world was the first thing that I remember ever seeing.

Road rules, right?

Yeah, yeah. But I was just driven on succeeding and making money, not really being on TV.

Well, part of that was because you got pregnant at 15. You wanted to support your son. How did that change how you planned for the future?

In the beginning, I just needed to find a job. After I got out of high school, I went to college. I just knew I wasn't going to be a statistic. I wasn't going to be struggling for money. I had to support him. I wanted to prove to myself and to my parents that I wasn't just going to throw my life away of source. I wasn't just going to stay in the town and not do anything with my life. I wanted to support my myself, my son. I wanted to give us a good life. And so I just was very determined.

Write in your book, Selling Sunshine, that you studied to become a radiographer? Yeah. Is that right? Because you wanted to make more money to support your son?

Oh, yeah. So I started doing that. That's when I went to school because it made the most money in the shortest amount of time. So it was a very hectic schedule. But I did that because I could get out and really support my son. With a good amount of money, there They were giving sign-on bonuses at the time and stuff, too.

How much sign-on bonus?

At the time, it was 20 or $30,000 or something like that, I think.

Which was a lot of money to you.

That was a lot of money to me back then, especially in Indiana. That's a lot of money because they were just in such need. And then, unfortunately, when I moved to LA, they were not offering it there. That's when I started being a loan processor, a friend of a friend, and then got into mortgages that way and then moved into real estate.

In your book, you talk a I'm not about the relationships you've had. Girl, let's get into it.

See, that's where I bring the drama. I mean, the good, the bad, the ugly. I don't bring it on the show.

The good, the bad, the ugly. Sister, let's start with Drew. Let's start with your second husband. Because I think, as you know, we're all about money rehab and financial independence for women.

I needed rehab after that.

Tell me about that. So you guys were romantic partners and then business partners. Is that right? Yeah.

And then, yeah, we got married. Everything was in my name. I had amazing credit at the time. I was like 815 or something like that. I worked very hard on my credit.

How did you even know to work hard on your credit so young?

My mom always talked about it, and she said, You can't get anything without your credit. And then when I was so young, and I had to get things on my own. And so when they check your credit, and I don't have any, and I couldn't get things, I knew I had to make sure I build it up.

I mean, sometimes we nickel and dime ourselves, but we should focus on the big things like your credit score, which can save you thousands of dollars in interest over time. Absolutely. That's connected to some other things. So you had all-star credit?

I did. Not for long, though. Not by the time that relationship was over.

So you guys started a business after you got married? Yeah.

He started it when we were still dating, when we were engaged. But everything had to be in my name. Any of the business purchases, stuff like that, everything had to be in my name because it was... Because he was foreign. He was from the UK, so he didn't really have much credit.

Was that a red flag for you?

In hindsight, of course. In hindsight, there were a lot of red flags. I'm sure. Until now, I did not always pick the best men.

You got it right. I thought you got it right. Which is amazing. Ultimately, that business folded. Can you tell that story?

Yeah. He would take on... I did basically the office and debit. I would do all the payments. I would run the books and stuff like that. And then he was out in the field bidding jobs and managing the crews and stuff like that because it was a stucco company. And he took on one big, big job, and that one was not his fault. The guy just stopped paying all of his... He would just hire subcontractors and then have them do the work and not pay and then get somebody else in. So there were a ton of mechanical liens on the property. He didn't care. He wasn't going to sell or do everything. So he just kept doing it. And so we got screwed out of a lot of money. And he took on another big job. We were able to do it. We took out of personal savings to make sure we could pay everybody, stuff like that. He took on another really big job. It was like a hotel. And I was like, This is not a good idea. That's going to be hard. Well, that one ended up going south. Something got messed up, and it just basically took us down.

It was right around that time that things were really struggling between me and him. He'd become abusive at that time, started going to therapy, and his dad got sick, got cancer. And so he was back in the UK, and we just decided, Well, let's make a move where he can go be with his dad, restore that relationship. We can make a fresh start. My son was up for it, and so we moved over to England.

And you say that's when the financial control really started, right? Yes.

How? So when you go over there, we had to come back and then get our visa because he told us we would get it when we get there. But they don't allow you to do that. We had to come back to the States and then get approved to the end and go back in. But we sold everything here, transferred all the money. So all the money was over in an account for him because they won't let you get a bank account until you have a proper spousal visa. And it took about a month or two for us to get it. So we came back, stayed with my mom, Austin and I. And when we went over there, we'd already transferred the money. We didn't realize, and I never really got any of that money back. He would be very stingy with it, and I would have to ask for things. It took a while before I was able to make my own money. I started working, make my own money, And then in the meantime, I found out once I came back to the States that he'd also taken a bunch, just ran up a bunch of credit cards and stuff, got credit cards in my name because I closed almost all accounts when I was here.

I still He had credit cards, but I didn't know. Those weren't the ones. He opened new credit cards. But since we didn't have an address in the States, I wasn't being notified of anything. I didn't have an address. He just ran up a whole bunch of stuff in my name.

So it started with you having to ask for even buying groceries. Yeah. And that's when it sounds like financial abuse started. Yeah. Which oftentimes goes hand in hand with other types of abuse.

I had both.

I'm sorry that you went through that. It's okay. I mean, for better or worse, I think the way money is used in relationships affects our confidence and our sense of control. Yeah. Do you remember what that time was like when you lost control? And I won't put words in your mouth, but maybe confidence around money?

I have a money Twitch. It's because of this. Tell me more. And I physically get a Twitch, where it's something super expensive or something... I was like... And I actually get a little twitchy thing like that because I'm hurt by it. It's a physical thing because of what... It's just the trauma from what it happened. I do feel the frustration of not having control of my life. I've always been in control of things. My first ex-husband was like, he was very generous, he was very respectful. It was not that situation at all. And then I've managed my own money the rest of my life since I can remember, since I was 15. So I did not know how to handle it. It was very frustrating. So I just went out and started working once I was able to work. And so I went and worked, and then I would just pocket that. I worked two jobs. When I was over there, I'm like, This is not going to happen. And so then I ended up, once again, supporting him because he lost his job. And so I still said, But at least I had my money, and I could do it, but I have a money to it.

And I was like, I will not be left without anything.

Yeah, it sounds like a PTSD symptom.

Yeah. It's just security. And I don't need to be rich, but I need to be comfortable. I need to know that all of my bills are paid. I need to know that I'm never going to starve. But I am extreme with working and stuff like that. So luckily, I have been able to make quite a bit of money since then.

For women listening, what red flags now, in hindsight, would you say that Drew showed you when it came to financial abuse that women should look out for?

The frivolous spending. Like where when you see the His habits. His habits, yeah. He was not responsible. And he knew there wasn't that much money. He would just buy things that were so expensive or over the top, where I'm like, You don't need that. Why are you doing that? Unless you have money to burn. Why are you buying something so big and so expensive? If that's going to break you. And he was like, Oh, no, I'll just make more. I don't know. And it would just irk me. But I was like, Okay, it's not my money. Because it was before we shared finances. That should have worn me. It was He was always pushing the envelope just to be like, he would have this really flashy car and then lived in this little apartment. It didn't add up. It didn't. No. And it was just always showing showy stuff. And so If he would do stuff that was just not responsible. I think those are really big signs, because if he does it then, when you guys start sharing finances, it's going to continue, except that's also going to be your money.

It's such an important point. And I think oftentimes We justify it and we're in love, and we have rosecurve glasses on. And it's hard to see the signs when you're in the thick of it.

It is. It's very hard. And I, luckily, have recovered from that. I keep separate finances. I trust Romaine, but I have separate finances from Romaine, and I always will. We can have one joint account, but I will never let that happen to me again. It was so brutal. And it took so long to climb out of it. And you can't control somebody else. So I can control me. And I can control my kids. That's all we can. And I can control. So that's what I'm doing. I love that.

Even leaving the relationship, unfortunately, did not solve the financial problems. You got back to the United States. And how did you realize when you went to go lease a car- When I leased the car. That your credit was It's great.

Under 500.

It wasn't where he used to be at 8:15.

8:15. 8:15. Yeah. And no, it was not. It was under 500. I didn't even know that you could have under 500. I had no idea. Never been there before. But I started laughing. I was like, I think you made a mistake. And I was like, Maybe it was from under my previous name. Did you get the number right? I was blown away. Had no idea. So my stepdad had to cosign for me. And it was humiliating. I had always been able to get any car I wanted, anything I wanted. I built up the business, made good money, and I was just taken back down after everything that happened. And I thought, I'm getting away. And I'm like, Okay, I'm still alive. I'm still like, let's just start over again. And then I find out that happened again. My God.

What did you do next when you found out he ruined the credit? Was it from all the accounts that he opened?

Yeah, because it was about a year and a half. He ran up about $100,000 something, or almost $100,000.

In your name? Mm-hmm. And didn't pay it?

Yeah. So they were all in collections by the time I came back. And so I ended up having to file bankruptcy.

Oh, that like.

Humiliating. I put it off for a very long time because I'm like, I refuse to do it. I'm going to pay these off. And there were a couple of things that happened where I'm like, I think it's going to be better. And it was very, very difficult to make that decision. And when I'm trying to build myself back up, try to repay these loans, and I had to suck it up, put my ego aside, and do what I had to do to move forward. So when I had to do that, and I've been doing all the credit repair and all these different things, and anything I could do, and then all the typical things that you do with credit making sure my balance is always under. It's always kept very, very low. I make multiple payments a month to make sure it's never... Neutralization, right? Yeah. I just had to do what I had to do. Nothing I can do about the past. I can only affect the future at this point.

Were there some tactics that helped your credit more so? Secured loans?

Yeah. I had to start with a secured credit card. I had to start very, very, very low credit card amounts. It was like $1,500 or something was the max. Sometimes I started with $500. I was like, What can you... I can't even pay a bill with that.

Just to show payment history.

Exactly. But then I tried to pay everything on the credit to show a Pay it off, pay it off. And so to show them I'm responsible. I can do this. Never have one late payment. I have everything on autopay, so there's no chance I can just get busy and forget. I had to just start slowly.

Where is your credit now?

It's still on there. The bankruptcy on one of them, it's a 750. A 760, I think. Okay. Yeah. 750 credit. Let's go. Well, to me, it's still low. Until I get back up there, I'm just very hard on myself. So I'm like, I will be back to where I was. And so I can keep doing it, but it takes a long time. So ladies, never, ever get in that situation. So what is that? Like 10 years? Be careful.

Ten years?

Yeah, it's been... It's probably been about 10 years. But in the beginning, because I didn't have any money, so it wasn't like I could do what I can now. Because having money, it's easier to fix things. I was broke. I had nothing when I came back. I had no credit. I had no money. I had nothing. I was starting from scratch, plus having a son. So I'm trying to get him, pay for college, pay for all these things.

It's not necessarily money that makes your credit score better. It's those little habits, regardless. We had the CEO of FICO on the show, the credit reporting company, and he said that his assistant had a higher credit score than he did. She makes less money, but she was more responsible. And so it's really about those- My husband, he had no credit and had a better credit score.

Than I did. Just because when he got one, he was able to do it. He didn't have that negative, like with the bankruptcy on there, because it takes a long time to have that pull off.

Eight-ish years?

Yeah, 7-10 years. It's what they... It depends on that.

I mean, to be fair, I totally understand why you want, like psychologically, why you want to get back to 8:15, and you will, no doubt, and you should. But 7:50, 8:15, you're not going to... It's not going to change. You're going to get the same... It's a great It's a change to me. I know. I know. I know.

I'm very stubborn like that where I'm like, I will be back there. I'm like, I will not get knocked down for too long. I get it. I get it.

Sometimes people get really obsessed with it because they think it's going to change. But up in that level, You're in a good prime rate zone. Yeah. But yes, psychologically, it's different.

Psychologically, I just went, I will be back there.

Do you think he read the book?

I don't know. I don't care. I changed I changed everybody's name. I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't know where they're at in their life. And if they have grown, if they've matured, if they've become a better person, good for them. I don't want to do anything to mess that up. I'm just telling my story, so I don't need to get them involved and try to hurt them just for me to tell my story.

Yeah, and it's an important cautionary tale to other women. Do you feel like you've healed from this financial trauma?

Yeah. There's always I still have my money, Twitch. It's getting better. It's definitely getting better. But it takes a while. I think I always have a little bit. I just really value financial security, and I learned the hard way just how much I value it, just how important it is. So I'm just cautious, I think.

That is a really good place to be. Yeah. Because it doesn't sound like you're jaded. No. But you've learned, and it And as painful as this was, it sounds like it really put even more of a fire under your ass to hustle harder. And a chip on your shoulder, too.

Yeah.

I'm like, I...

Clean it up. Yeah, absolutely. Even with my mortgage, I make an extra payment every six months to bring that interest down and bring the amount of the loan down. And just small things like that I can do, I'm like, Okay, I'm going to do that. I think it's smart and it makes me feel good.

And it's just lifelong credit hygiene. It's also credit is like going to the gym, right? You can't just get an awesome score and be done, never go back.

Oh, yeah. You have to maintain it.

It's a constant maintenance.

Hold on to your wallets. Moneyrehab will be right back. So many major life decisions lead to urgent, unexpected financial questions, decisions, and added stress, like making sure you're prepared for retirement or your family is growing and you want to make sure you're setting your kiddos up for the future. That's where Moneypickle comes in. Moneypickle is ready to give you the qualified financial advice you need to make sound financial decisions as soon as you need it at no cost. Moneypickle matches you with a trusted, vetted financial advisor based on your specific financial situation and goals. Then you can set up a free video meeting or a phone call to discuss your questions whenever is convenient for you. No need for an in-person meeting. The best part about Moneypickle is that it does all the vetting for you. They have thoroughly vetted every single one of their advisors to make sure they have a clean history with their current and past clients, which is really important. A Series 65, Series 66, and/or CFP certifications to ensure their well-equipped with all the knowledge and ethical standards you need. And if you really like your financial advisor, you can hire them outside of Moneypickle to be your financial advisor moving forward.

But there is never any obligation to do so, so honestly, there's nothing to lose. Head to Moneypickle now and schedule a free meeting to figure out your financial next steps. Go to moneypickle. Com/mnen. That's M-N-N, as in Money News Network. Write down this URL, moneypickle. Com/mnen. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a time checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at chime. Com/mnen. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an O. G. Listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story.

Make your fall finances a little greener by working towards your financial goals with CHIME. Open your account in just two minutes at chime. Com/mnn. That's CHIME. Com/mnn. Chime. Feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. Members FDIC. Spotme eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boots are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime. Com/disclosures for details. And now for some more money rehab. Let's talk about your lovely husband.

Yes. Romaine. Yes. You mentioned you guys keep finances separate. Yeah. Was the situation with Drew the big reason behind that?

Yes. Absolutely.

How did it change the way you went into the marriage with money? Did you sign a prenup?

I did. Absolutely. I don't think he will ever do anything. He is way too stubborn and too prideful to ever do that. He's, I'm not going to take what's not mine. But I know people can change. During breakups and stuff, the ugly side of them comes out. I don't think we will ever split up. We have an amazing relationship. And he had no problem signing it. He's like, I'll sign whatever you want. He's like, I don't care because he's not as much as people tried to say from the show, he's a gold digger. I'm like, That's never been an issue. I'm not paying for all of his stuff. We have separate finances, so he was fine with it.

That's for your own peace of mind.

Exactly. And he understands based on he how difficult that was. And he's watched me still try to climb back out of that mess. And so he understands why I'm doing it. He doesn't take it personally.

What was that first conversation about prenup like? Was that hard? If somebody is listening and nervous about these types of conversations. Yeah.

He handled it well. I just explained to him why. I've watched it too many times with friends, with family. And you spend so much of your money just fighting over stuff because people are angry. And It's like they're just fighting for the sake of it. And then you end up spending all the money that you guys just split. But it happens over and over again, where you will give all your money to attorneys before- There it was, man. Yeah. It's insane. And I'm like, Chuck, just do it. Just stop. But I think a prenup is a perfect way of just, okay, when you're on good terms, let's decide what's fair, what's not. And so that's when you're happy and you're in love and you decide on that, it solves so many problems. And you're not throwing all your money away. If you guys do, God forbid, split, I think it's just smart.

Because you have one anyway. It's the state. It's up to the state. So if you don't like what the state says or you want to take control, that's up to you. But you have a prenup regardless. Everybody does. Yeah. Were there elements of the prenup that were important to you to get?

We're actually amending it because with the house and with... I'm so for the talk about this. So when we bought the house, I paid a lot of the down payment. And so what we verbally agreed on is that money would come off of whatever profit we split, and then we'll use those split that we agreed upon, too. And so I want that just written in the prenup, where it's in writing, it's legal. So he's like, Okay, cool. He's like, You paid it. I don't care. I'll sign it. He's a fair person. I think it's the delivery on how you start the conversation helps. But then again, I know a lot of women that would be like, Hell, no. I'm not going to sign anything, but that's It's something that the couple needs to decide if they're in it just for the money or if it's just principle. I don't know.

But you're adult. This is a conversation. You own a house. So it's not technically a post-op. It would just be an amendment to the print.

Yeah, they said Basically, it would be because I have a very extensive printup. Yeah, girl. I think it's like 78 pages or something like that. So it was very extensive. And I didn't even have much back then. I wasn't like, No. But I was like, I want it to be Very, very detailed. And I paid... It was not cheap to make sure it was- You have to. Yeah, it was not cheap, but it's worth it to me. Peace of mind. Just that I will not just lose everything again. I just won't do it.

Were you in the thick of all of the aftermath of the financial trauma and chaos? Did you just not want to get married again because of it?

No, I didn't. I never wanted to. I'm like, I'm good. I can date. We can live together. I'm cool.

But here we are. Here we are.

But, yeah, he's a different person, and I truly believe he'll never do that. But just on a day-to-day basis, even if we're in an argument, he's still like, I don't want to. I'll pay for it myself. I don't need you to pay for it. He gets very offended if I try to pay for certain things. I'm like, I'll get it. He's like, Why? I definitely trust him, but...

Makes all the sense as well. I mean, also, sister, you've worked with three guys you've dated. Mm-hmm. It had it worked out, but now I love the fact Romaine went to go work with you because you went to go work with the others, but now he's coming on your turf. So what advice would you give somebody who's thinking about working with their significant other? What have you learned from these three situations? My advice.

I think you have to have the two different hats, basically. Like with Jason, that's my boss, so I have to treat him in a certain way. I have to listen to certain things, but it can go both ways because I can also talk to more and I can push him a little bit more because we're such good friends, because we dated and stuff. We know each other, and it's more of a friendly thing. But Jason and my relationship is different because we hardly ever get in fights unless it's about money. And we'll yell for a couple of minutes and we're like, You're not grateful. I was like, You're being a dick until you hang up. And then he called back and we're like, Okay, here's what's fair. And then we'll We'll talk it through. Romaine and I, I think you have to separate that because then when he's coming and he's working on the client's house or he's doing something, if something goes wrong, I can't yell at him because he's my husband. I have to remember this is a professional thing and not let it go back into our home life. That's a professional thing, and I need to keep it at work.

You've said that Jason has been a great mentor to you, regardless of... I can't imagine you saying, You're a dick, whatever.

I mean, I have my moment. Sure. We all do.

What do you think is the biggest business lesson you learned from him?

I think, at least when this comes to real estate, never stop learning. Keep up on everything. Absorb as much as you can. Listen to as many people as you can. If you see successful people, stop and listen when they speak because they're doing something right. That's how they got there. You don't have to do everything like that, but just be a sponge. Absorb everything.

You have two ears and one mouth. Yeah. So less than more than you talk. Exactly. On selling since that you have this reputation for being a sweet pea, how do you exist in this cutthroat world? And that's the dynamic of all reality shows or good reality shows. There needs to be drama. There needs to be that cutthroat nature. So how do you lead with kindness in that type of environment?

Honestly, that's just who I am. I do have Scary Mary, but she only comes out on rare occasion. And you have to push me very, very, very, very far.

When was the last time she came out?

I don't know. You'd probably have to ask her, Maine or Jason. They would probably remember. They know Scary? Yeah. I think probably on his bachelor party, I was not happy. I had one role, and they did exactly the opposite. And then Remaine lied to me because he knew they broke that one role. And I was like, Oh, I...

What was the role?

They can go to strip clubs. They can do whatever. Don't have strippers back out. Don't take them to the apartment or to the room. But then I was more mad at Jason and Brett because they did it knowing my one role, and they agreed. So everybody saw scary. And they are the ones that brought them up. Yeah. And Scary Mary did come out on that occasion. To all of them.

I was really struck, Mary, in the book that you talk about the idea that you really have two full-time jobs: real estate and the show.

Yeah. The real estate, the show, not my book.

Which one is more demanding? For that, I know that that's a full-time job.

Yeah, it's a lot. Which one's more demanding? It depends. I think it fluctuates sometimes, especially in this market. During COVID, it was insane. It was so good. It was easy. That's the one good thing that came out in COVID, was it was the best market ever. We made so much money.

It was wild. It was like, there was like lines outside, open houses.

Yes. It was amazing. You didn't even have to work hardly. It was like you worked, but you didn't have to try to contact your people and stuff. It's business was just flowing in. It was amazing. But for the last two years, really, it hasn't been as good. Hopefully, interest rates are coming down again a little bit, so let's see what happens. But it was still working, but it's been slower than it was before.

I really appreciate the fact that you're honest about this idea that it is not like a documentary when the cameras start rolling of what it's like to be in real estate. You have to turn your phone off, which is obviously not great for...

Oh, no, it's terrible. …

Being in real estate. You need to be accessible all the time.

Exactly. And they call and they're like, Oh, wait, no. Something just happened. We have a scene tomorrow at 10:00 AM. And I'm like, I have showings. Well, we need you. And we did sign a contract that says we will be available when they need us. And Some of the girls just don't do it, but I have a problem doing that. I made a commitment. I'm going to do it.

You also resigned from your position as manager, right? I sure did.

Hold on to your wallet. Money Rehab will be right back. And now for some more Money Rehab.

You also resigned from your position as manager, right? I sure did. Season seven because you didn't want to be in this awkward position of managing all these very special personalities or being in the middle of... Yeah.

You know, I signed up for being a real estate manager, where I was going to help people with real estate transactions and answer questions and try to help them with difficult clients because I'm very good with difficult clients. That is not what that job ended up being. It was just mediating a bunch of arguments. It was taking a toll on my mental health. It was taking a toll. I was so stressed out because nothing's going to stop. But yeah, I might fix this one, but then they're just going to argue the next day about something different. Jason always wants me to be in the middle immediately. I'm like, You are a grown adult. They can mediate their own self. Like, arguments. Why am I the one mediating? I don't need to. That's what therapists are for. It doesn't need to be me. I do real estate.

You set these boundaries.

I had to because it was taking a toll.

Feeling anxious or depressed or...

It's so much anxiety. I was unhappy. And the level of stress was not good for me because I really do not like confrontation. I don't like arguments. I don't like drama. And being forced to be in the middle of it all the time. And then if them people got mad at me because they didn't go their way or I wasn't siding with them because some of these people are my friends. I'm like, I just can't. I was like, You guys grow up. I don't know. I can't. And I think we have to do what makes us happy. And I was so busy I was happy with that. I wasn't giving my own clients enough time. So it was taking away from my work. It was taking away from the quality of an agent that I was. So I just decided... I was going to say, Peace out. I'm not doing it anymore.

But what's really cool about that is that you were able to say peace out from this place of privilege that you've built yourself back up to. Yeah. Maybe Mary, 10 years ago, who was in the thick of trying to rebuild credit, make more money, would have said yes to anything. But you got to a place where you could say no. And I think being able to say no, having those boundaries at work- No is a very hard thing for me, too.

I always take on more and more and more. But that was one where you have to know when to say no. You can say yes many times. But you have to be successful to say no.

Yeah, that's true.

Because if you need it...

Then you got to do it. Yeah, suck it up and do it. And I've done that many times. I've hated what I was doing. But you do it. It's temporary. To get to where you need to be, it's okay.

But I think it's a sign of how far you've come and how much success you were able to build for yourself. Yeah. Especially after the financial trauma and chaos that you went through. Yeah. How do you feel about money I'm comfortable.

I'm very cautious with money. I always will be. But if I want to splurge, I do. But I'm very cautious with it. I think things do a lot before I make any big purchase.

You're never going back?

No. Never.

Okay. I have a selling sunset lightning round for you. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. All right. Which of your selling sunset cast mates would you choose to be on a desert island with?

Jason. Other than my husband. I could have gotten in really big trouble for that.

Which of your cast mates has the best style? It better not be Jason.

No. Bre.

Which of your cast mates takes the longest to get ready? Maybe this is Jason.

I don't know. Amanda.

Which of your cast mates would you call it an emergency?

Either Jason or my husband. I'll say Raman first. Let me say Remaine first.

He is your emergency contact, right?

He's my emergency... Yes, he is. They both are.

And he's fine with that?

Yeah, he's fine with that. I think Jason's Raman's emergency contact, too. They're like brothers.

Which of your cast mates do you call for business advice?

Jason. I just trust him on everything. He's so smart. He actually is in my will. He's the one- Executor? Yeah. Because I have everybody... No, he's not getting any of the money. He doesn't want any money. But he's the one making sure Because Romy doesn't know as much, like with business and insurance and all the different things like what Jason does. He's just the smartest one with everything, would know how to do things to make... So I asked him if he would do it, and he was like, Do I have to? I was like, Yeah. Yes, you do.

He's like, Okay, fine. Okay. Which of your cast mates do you call for personal advice?

It depends on what it is. If it's personal advice, I would say... See, I have different people for different things. Who for what? If it has something to do with the show or public or something like that, like Steph, it probably could show because she's very thoughtful about perceptions and what to do, like how things could be played. So if I'm torn on something, I would ask her about that because she's just been in the industry way longer and understands things like that. If it's something just about me as a person and something like, have I changed? Or something like, have a man something like that because she's known me the longer she knows me inside now. I guess Emma would be a good one when it comes to business and stuff like that. I would ask her advice. Oh, I have actually investing in stocks and stuff. I've talked to her about that a lot. I think with Bre, I've talked to her a lot, especially lately, too. And I think just reinforcing, just saying no and having a background on things. Because normally I'm like, I don't know. I don't really care. And she's like, You need to care.

I was like, But I really don't. But then there's sometimes where I do care. And I'm like, I care a lot. And she's actually reeled me back in sometimes.

Which of your cast mates is on your shit list?

I don't want to say. My first thought, Nicole. She's not really on my shit list because I'm actually friends with her, but I'm disappointed in her on the way she handled things with regarding Emma. So I'm disappointed in her. But I always love her. She's always going to be my friend. Very disappointed the way she handled that.

She's in penalty box right now.

Yes, yes.

I'm not all up to date with this drama at all. So if you can give me a quicky CliffNotes version. When we sat down, you said, I don't know who's going back because some people don't want to go back because of some other people. Can you just explain?

Oh, God. Okay. It's like the What's that thing called? The seven degrees of Kevin Micken, something like that. Chelsea is not happy with me because I was not a fan of her inappropriate length of skirt. It broke her's open. We had a co-listing. It was because there was no skirt there. There was nothing. Everything was out. I thought that was inappropriate. So she is not a fan of me. Nicole started accusing Emma of having an affair, which wasn't true. Emma and Nicole are going at it. She told to Chelsea that her husband's cheating on her, and she found out from a third party. Chelsea knew about it and was grateful. But then now is saying that Bri was inappropriate by telling her when she was actually happy and thanked her. So then And then, Bre, is like, Screw you, to Chelsea. And then, Emma knew about it, too. And so, Bre and Emma aren't getting along. And, Bre and Emma used to be really good friends. And then, Chris Shell, it doesn't want Bri. Are you I'm not even seeing it. Yeah. I actually had to have time slots at my book launch party. I need a whiteboard.

No, exactly. That's what I'm saying, which I had to have time slots for some of the cast members to come to my party because- Really? They prefer not to interact at the moment. They said they could be cordial if needed, but they prefer not to run into each other. So I just make sure they're comfortable and I don't have any accidental fights or drama at my book launch party. I was like, Okay, let's go ahead. Okay, you take the first shift, you take the second. Yeah, that's it.

Wait, so that's all real?

Oh, it's all real.

I don't know. Looking at reality, maybe it's...

People ask all the time. People ask all the time. People think that all the time. They're like, Oh, we know it's all made up. I wish it were. That means when the cameras went off, it would end. No, I still get text and calls all the time trying to have me help mediate things. I'm like, Okay, all right, hang on. Don't do anything that you're going to regret. Just hold on. Again, I'm always making all these phone calls, trying to keep people calm.

So it's real. And everybody's a real estate agent.

Yeah, everybody's a real estate agent. Yeah.

I don't know. What's next for you? Another season? How many are we on?

We are going on Season 9 right now. 8 just came out, and we are getting ready to start filming Season 9 pretty soon.

You just don't know with who because of the...

We do not know with who because we have, I think, a couple of people threatening to not come back if the other people are on. So if they bring Nicole on, there's a couple that are saying, No, they're not going to be on. As far as I know, Nicole is going to be That's not a press thing.

That's a career.

That's real. That's real. That's real. I just talked to one of them.

But don't they want money?

You would think. I think they're that mad. I don't know if they're really going to follow through with it, but some people threaten it every year. When it comes down to it, it's an amazing opportunity. Most of the time, we have fun doing it. I think that they should just suck it up, get back on, do your job, make some more money. The opportunity is not going to be around forever. And so take advantage while you can. That's for sure. Yeah.

We end our episodes, Mary, by asking all of our guests for one money tip listeners can take straight to the bank. Is there a lesson that you learned about financial health or rebuilding after financial challenges that you can share with our listeners?

I think even on credit cards, making multiple payments a month or at least know when they report. So you make sure your balance is always down, because even within that month, if you don't know when it's actually reported, if you're planning to make a payment two days later, that's when your payment's due. Every month, it's going to- You're showing a high balance. Yeah. So find out when that date is and make sure you make the payment before then.

Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan LaVoy. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your moneyquestions, moneyrehab@moneynewsnetwork. Com, to potentially have your questions on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram @moneynews and TikTok @moneynewsnetwork for exclusive video content.

And lastly, thank you.

No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.