Transcript of Raising Lions in a World That Breeds Lambs | Angus Reid

I think that's a generational gap between how we grew up and how they're being raised. We're all products of what we're surrounded by. The kids today live in a world where it's okay. They're always around, It's okay. It's okay. We were raised, It's not okay because we still want to be here and we're getting tossed if we can't get this done. Where now it's okay. It's not that bad. Don't worry about it. The it's okay generation, they caught. The ownership is on you. You're right, it is okay, but you're going to get left behind here. You have to You have to do this. Nobody's going to now make you take ownership of your life. Before, we got tossed aside. Now you can drift along, but we don't want our kids to drift along. We want them to become everything they can. This world isn't wired to get kids to become their best anymore. The bar is lowered, so everything is okay, and there's no downside to being okay. It's all good, buddy. How are you?

Good, dude. Just trying to keep pushing forward and figure out when I'm going to be when I grow up and all those good things.

And then that changes tomorrow and then the next day, and we just keep moving forward anyway. Anyways, because the world keeps changing, so we just keep getting better with it. It's all good.

That's 100 % it, man. And what I'm hoping for is my kid comes home sometime in the next 20, 30 minutes, and when he gets here, I want him to come down and just share some of his thoughts because he had a book report for the first half of school, and he read your book as his book.

That is so cool. I mean, that, to me, would be my dream scenario for what happens with this book where kids, they read it. They don't just read it, they engage it, and they force themselves to think through it. I thank you. I mean, that to me is everything. That's what we're here. That's what I was trying to do here. Get kids to engage with this and challenge themselves to think some things through and take action and do stuff, man. Become who they Well, yeah, I told them all about you, and I was like, This is my buddy, and I met him at...

He knows Chris, so I told him I met him at Chris's thing, and I was telling him your backstory. And I just said, Look, man, I haven't read the book yet. But I promise you that if you read this, you will get stuff out of it that you can use in your day to day life. And this is from a guy who's put the work in. And I told him about how you were the smallest guy and by all the... Your story. And I told him all that stuff. And I was I was like, dude, if this guy can become what he became in the sport that he played, it shows you that anybody with enough work and dedication, et cetera, can become the thing that they want to be. And I was like, he struggles a lot with He's very talented. He's a very talented kid. But he wasn't born with that natural killer instinct. For me, I could be the ugliest-looking skills, whatever. It It was whatever had to happen. And they always bust my chops because in basketball, and probably in all sports, I know all the little dirty mind tricks and gimmicks and games that you play.

Whatever it takes, right? Whatever it takes to get that edge to win. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And And on the baseball field and basketball field, the kids are always giving me crap or just busting my chops because I'm like, Oh, hey, if he's going to set up here, you can hook his arm, the ref won't see it, and then you can push. Here's how you get that advantage. And one day, And my son asked me about... He's like, Oh, why do you have all these little things? And I was like, Because I wasn't talented. Because that's what it took. That's what it took. I was athletic enough to be in the conversation. But if I wanted to play, I had to find an edge that wasn't my 40 speed or my vertical leap or how many times I could bench 225. I was never going to be the impressive guy at those things. So I had to find these other ways of being successful. And it doesn't take away from I was like, to beat to me.

Look, just study Larry Bird. The greatness of Bird was he understood every nuance of the game to gain an edge. To beat anybody. I remember there's this great quote that James worthy talks about comparing Bird to Jordan. I'll never forget this. He said, Jordan would make you look slow. Bird would make you look stupid because he understood every single thing to take advantage of you, all the stuff beyond athletic ability. He knew how to beat you beyond being faster and jumping higher and being quicker. He knew. He knew break people down. You know what? I'm glad your son was reading this because I write a bit in the chapter that I lacked that killer instinct. I was good training, preparing, but that competitiveness, I had to learn that. It had to be taught to me. I was more comfortable in the offseason workouts and training, but when it came to beating somebody, I had to learn that, and it wasn't natural for me. You had to realize, and sometimes it's just framing it where this is what it's going to take for you to become your best. Maybe if you're into beating the other person, but you want to rise above, whatever you need to frame it as to buy into that.

But it wasn't natural for me to just want to beat everybody. I just wanted to become really good myself. But you have to compete against others to do that, right?

Yeah. It's funny. I look back at my sports career in particular, but probably this is the same in my professional career. I have never been the best. I don't win a lot of awards. I don't think any athletic performance I've ever had has been... I've never liked the guy that stands out in any regard. But I was starter and captain on every sports team I've ever played on. I look back at that and I'm like, What was it? Well, one, I hated to lose. I hated to lose. I said something to the kids the other day. I was working with the infielders. This is before the season end. The season's over now. Actually, it was my son. There was a ball in the hole, and he took two hard steps, but then he gave up on it. And then he looked and gets the ball from the outfielder and turns around. And I said, Why did you let that one get through? And he said, I didn't let I get through, it get through. It was a hit. And I said, Well, you didn't dive. So how do you know it was a hit? And he looks at me and I was like, It should offend you that that guy was willing to hit a ground ball in between short and third.

Basically, what he What he said is, You're not good. I'm going to hit the ball between short and third because that's where I can get a base hit. So that's the way where my mind goes is, it offends me that you would even consider hitting the ball in my area and think that you're going to get on base.

That's pride, right? That's pride in who you are, right? And taking it personally.

And that idea to those kids was so foreign. The idea that They're like, Well, he just hit it. And I'm like, No, he pulled the ball to the shortstop area, which means in his head, it's acceptable to hit it at you because he doesn't believe that you're going to make every play. Doesn't that piss you off? And I started to think to myself, Is my viewpoint crazy here? Is this a little too out of this world? Or in general, have these kids not been exposed to enough aggressive performance, merit-based systems that they're just not used to having to do those little extra things to stand out and be successful?

Yeah, I think that's a generational gap between how we grew up and how they're being raised. We're all products of what we're surrounded by. I think the kids today live in a world where it's okay. They're always around, It's okay. It's okay. And we were raised that, It's not okay because we still want to be here and we're getting tossed if we can't get this done. Where now it's okay. It's not that bad. Don't worry about it. And I think the It's okay generation, they haven't been taught. The ownership is on you. You're right, it is okay, but you're going to get left behind here. You have to want this. You have to do this. And I speak on that in the book, and we'll get into it. Nobody's going to now make you take ownership of your life. Before, we got tossed aside. Now, you can drift along. But we don't want our kids to drift along. We want them to become everything they can. And this world isn't wired to get kids to become their best anymore. It's okay. Everything's okay. The bar is lowered, so everything is okay. And there's no downside to being okay.

We hate that. None But you and I, you did not want to be like everybody. We wanted to be in the winner circle. We wanted to be where the cool kids were, right? And there's no division anymore. And you're almost not allowed to separate the cool kids because that's just not nice. It's okay. Everyone's okay just being whatever. And so how would they know anything different?

Yeah. You don't get to have it both ways. And that's what I think the disconnect is. So the disconnect in my mind, and this goes for adults today, too, right? I think there is, at least in the States, it seems to me about half the country wants to... They would be the it's okay segment, right? Except that they're not okay with not getting results. So it's like, I want all the things that come with doing the work, but I don't want to do the work, and I don't want to be judged, and God forbid, you tell me that I'm not special and unique, and amazing, but I don't really want to do this stuff, but I want the things.

Both expectations live here, but accountability and ownership are not the same. Both people want the same outcome, but they are unwilling to take the ownership and accountability to make it happen.

And that to me, when I look at the core of this mix between, I'd say, broad-stroking the right and broad-stroking the left in this country today. It's you have a group on the right that still believes like, I'm going to reap what I sow. If I put in the work, I'm going to get stuff back. If I don't put in the work, I'm not going to be as successful as I want. And then there's a million other things that can fall in my favor or not along the way, but I'm going to do everything I can to put myself to be successful. In a broad stroke, that's the general viewpoint. Or if they choose who's not to put in the work, they are mentally okay accepting, I'm not going to be as successful as that guy, but I'm okay with that because I want to cut out at three and be with my kids' baseball practices. And then they're willing to accept the outcomes of their input. Yes, a perfectly There's a perfectly acceptable thought process is to say, I'm willing to give up 50,000 in salary to be at every single one of my kids' sports games.

That's a perfectly acceptable thing. But then we have another group of people who want, I want all the money, and I want the job and I want the title, but I also want to be able to take mental health days and be at my kids' sports games and go to the gym at 8: 00 AM every day. And it's like, that's where we're missing because one of these things is reality where, hey, I'm exchanging effort at work for money to have freedom, for I want all the freedom, but I also want all the money, but I also want all the accolades. And it's not how the universe works. It's not I set up that way. And that, to me, seems to be one of the core issues that we are banging up against as a society, are just this... And it's funny. I talk to other coaches on other teams because I coach third base. So a lot of times, I'm on the other side of the field, and I'll talk to the other coaches. And for the most part, most of them are all just dads, trying to do their thing, trying to be good.

And they all say the same shit. They're like, They don't work off the field on non-practice time. They Where we used to watch whatever sport we were into and knew we would pick up nuances of the game from watching a baseball game or a football game or a basketball game. They don't do a lot of that. So they're only experiencing things through the short periods of time in which they're on the court or practicing or on the field practicing. They're not watching games and picking up stuff. They're not practicing on the side or off. And yet they want the same results. And it's like, I don't know how you package it up, but the universe just doesn't work that way.

Yeah. And I think we've gotten to a place where there's not enough of us as adults willing to let our kids suffer that reality. So we bandage it along, right? And listen, kids are products of what adults present to them. And we have screwed this up by telling them it's okay for a while because we don't want to hurt their feelings, and we'll get them there. But all we're doing is weaking them every single day by not letting that reality hit them hard. Reality got to hit hard. And the earlier it hits, the more time they have to recover and gain strength. The longer we let it mask along, they become now the workforce that that that expects 150K off the grat in three days a week at a part-time because they still like to have work-life balance, but they want elite earnings. And because they've had 20 years of knowing that, right? And that's how quickly... But I think there's a way to do it, though, too, Ryan. I'm always looking when I'm coaching high school football now is, I don't want every kid to quit today because I don't want to see them 10 years later never recover because I don't know if they have the moms and dads and support at home, and I don't want to see that.

So how do we serve up reality in a way that they have the ability now to adapt in whatever ability they can to toughen up without just cutting them free now? Because if we cut everyone free, we're going to have a whole world of useless individuals because no one else is going to help get them strong. We're just going to either throw them out or not. And you're right. The problem with right and left is, where do we have this transition piece where how do we move people over to get them stronger, saying, You are or you're not. So you guys are idiots because you're not. Well, they don't know to be strong. We got to help them become strong. And that's an art. That's not a science anymore. And that's getting to know our youth, our next generation. And how do we make it so it's exciting for them to realize you can become great. This is what it takes. And the best journey of your life is going to be coming the best version of you. And we need to... I tell people all the time, I'm not a fan of fluff, raw, raw people, cheering people on for nonsense.

But I am a fan of showcasing them doing something they couldn't do yesterday. Because praise gets repeated. I'm going to let them know you couldn't do that yesterday. You didn't think you could. Now, I wonder what you can do tomorrow, you didn't think you could do today. I will reward you pushing new ground 100% because that'll want you to push more new ground. I'm not praising nonsense, but I will praise that first kick over to ownership more on, I never thought I could do that. No. So don't ever say you can't do something because you said you couldn't do this yesterday, and you It just did it.

Yeah, there's this awesome reframe of Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000-hour rule by Nival Ravakon, where he talks about 10,000 iterations. Yes. I've read it. And I like 10,000 iterations better because What 10,000 iterations says to me is... And what 10,000 hours of effort or practice misses, in my opinion, are the losses and adjustments. You could practice hitting a fastball at 80 miles an hour right down the middle of the plate for 10,000 hours. And sure, you'll be good at hitting a fastball at 80 miles an hour right down the middle of the plate. Probably one of the best in the world. But that's not the way the game works, right? That fastball can be outside. It can be faster, slower, curve, all these different things. And what you need to do is, well, what happens when you miss your first curve ball? Well, now you iterate and you miss your second curve ball, and now you iterate again. And then, oh, now I got a piece of it. Now I'm starting to get a bigger piece. Okay, now I can take it to right field. Now, like you said, you're getting that little bit of better. But the idea is, how early can you start those iterations?

So what I think is happening so much to the generations that are currently, say, 30 and under, is that they're not getting their first real loss until they're in their 20s. So they literally haven't had a loss. They've taken bullshit public Public education, which I'll tell you, now having nieces and nephews in public school and my own kid in private school looking at the difference in curriculum is stupid. The sixth-grade curriculum in the public school is like a third or fourth grade curriculum is how easy it is. So these kids are breezing through high school. They're going into these colleges where there's actually no incentive for the colleges to fail them. So they're all getting these ridiculous GPAs, and they get a job, and they make the second team, and now all of a sudden, they get into the real world, and they've literally never experienced a serious loss. And then something happens, and they're going, Oh, my God, life shouldn't be like this. What's wrong with me? Now they got anxiety and depression, and now we're on pills because we haven't dealt with what it feels like to get knocked in the dirt in whatever figurative capacity that takes and whatever we're trying to do.

So it's like the earlier we can get our kids in situations where they are losing and having to experience losses in some way, shape, or form, I think the better. It just teaches them what that means, what it feels like to be the kid who... My son, and he's a really good middle infielder, the last game of the season, I think he just was a little checked out, and it was cold, and I don't know what happened, but two ground balls in a row, he booted both of them really bad. That's never happened before. So I was pretty pissed because Mostly it was him being laxedaisical and checked out. So I send him to right field in the middle of the ending, and I bring the center fielder in to play shortstop. And after the game, my ex-wife is like, You're being harsh, and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, It's a bullshit game at the end of the season that's meaningless, and he just got to feel what it feels like in a bullshit, meaningless game in the fall that doesn't mean anything. He got to feel that sense of frustration and being pissed off and guilt and shame of booting two ground balls and being taken out of your position.

You think he's going to work a little harder the next time he plays shortstop to make sure that scenario doesn't happen again? I think so. And in a situation where it's zero impact but still has the same impact on him, I felt like that was a victory. Maybe it was a little harsh for me. It wasn't, I don't know. But I certainly think he's going to learn a lot more from that negative experience and not wanting that to happen again, versus if I just let him kick two balls and stay in there and act like, Oh, hey, that happens. Bad hop. It's like, No, your freaking job is to get outs on ground ball. That's your job. That's the position. You need to do that. I feel like too few people are experiencing early life losses or failures that teach them how to deal with it in the future.

It's funny, too, Ryan. I think a big problem, whether it's sports or not, but sports is the easiest one to showcase this, everything is too structured now. So kids don't play in the playground and get into a fight with their buddies because they a foul and it wasn't, and they get tossed off the court and shunned by their peers, and they got to work their way back on. You said this, kids don't do much outside of structured environments. They go home and play video games that have nothing to do with their sport. We played basketball practice, went to the playground, played four more hours, and we wanted to get on the big kids' court. To do that, you had to compete, and you had to be tough enough that if they didn't call a foul, you just had to keep rolling with it. You couldn't complain and whine, or you're getting tossed. There was no adults to come to save you. Then you went back to your structured environments. We had our fun in the unstructured environments, right on the streets, playing, making up games. And you wanted peer acceptance. And the only way peer acceptance was to be able to handle whatever was thrown at you.

And I think our kids, one is our fault. We shuttle them around from structured practice to structured practice. There's also the institutional side where we've now I businessize sports. So everyone's a personal trainer, nutritionist. Kids just don't figure out weights by at the community center with their buddies and make stupid mistakes and follow some goon in the corner that they lift too hard. That's all fun. That's growing up, right? Nobody does that anymore. I hate Loxon. I can't believe how many 13-year-olds have physiotherapists and nutritionists. I'm like, Dude, we just eat whatever, and nothing was supposed to hurt. And what are you talking about? My physio says I shouldn't practice. You're 13 years old. This is crazy to me. But they're so protected by adults and people that have almost financial-vested interests, they just follow the rules and do what they told instead of what we did. We figured it out by trial and error with our peers with no adult supervision. And you lost, you got shunned, you got left out and you wanted to fight to get back in, and you couldn't run to mom and dad because we didn't want to hear from you until another six hours.

You're supposed to be out. And that's just a lost way of being raised now. And I don't know if you go back. So I think the point is, how do we still ingrain that ownership, that resilience, that want, that will to say, I'm bringing my best because I want to be a somebody, and I don't want to get left out here. I want to be a part of the group that's moving forward. And it's sad to say, but I think we We now have to ease them back to that because if we heavy-hand everybody, 90 % of the kids are going to quit, and they'll never start again, and we're going to have kids that won't even try. But we can't just let them be okay with it. We got to make it so they realize the goal here is to get better, and to get better requires pushing against force. And force is hard. It's resistance. It's difficulty. It's challenge. And that's the only way you'll ever actually have any pride. Nobody has pride by overcoming nothing.

Completely agree. And I think that this This idea that somehow hierarchies are bad, that's permeated, I think is one of the biggest... Not biggest. One of the most insidious lies that have been told, because one, everything in life is a hierarchy, and it should be, in my opinion. Now, the problem with that is, at times, people will use nefarious ways of getting to the top, or they will get to the top and they will become dictators. However, if you are a person of agency operating in... Which we don't talk about. There's this guy, his name is George Mac. He's got a great sub stack. If anyone's on substack, if you are on substack, follow Finding Peak. Angus is going to have a Substack pretty soon. We'll get into content and stuff in a bit. But he talks about this idea of high agency. That's the topic that he talks. What does it mean to be a person of high agency? And much of it is just operating as an independent person with your own viewpoints, independent thinking. It doesn't mean you're libertarian. It doesn't mean you're some crazy conspirator. It just means you approach each situation and through your own set of filters and values, and you adhere to those filters and values as often as you as you possibly can.

So I think this idea of high agency. So if you have high agency people operating inside of a hierarchy, that's a good thing. Because if I know, right? If I I know that my performance has me on the second team, I now know exactly where I am and what I need to do. If I want to be on the first team, I know, okay, I want to be a linebacker, and there's three linebackers, which means I have to be better than one of those three guys at the thing that they do, and that's what I need. Now I know the work I have to put in. I know what my metric is. And sure, maybe I could say it's unfair that they're a senior, or it's unfair that they born with an extra 40 pounds, or it's unfair. Sure, all those things are true.

Life is unfair. That's the thing. But that's the thing.

Once you get out into the real world, which I think is what so many of these 20 and 30-year-olds today that are online complaining are dealing with, is they were never told that life was unfair. They were never said, I'm sorry, right now, you are not as good as him. He's playing. You're not playing. Or, Hey, he's selling more than you. He gets the company car. Or, She's She's better at business development than you, so she's number one, and you're number two. You don't get to go on the trip because she's the one that hit her numbers. It should be that way because that loss to me of not starting or not going on the company trip or not getting the perk or whatever the thing is that I want, that gives me a target. It gives me a thing to point at instead of what I think so much of the anxiety and stress is that we feel today is we don't know what to do. Do I do this? Do I become this? Well, if I become this, then I can't be this. We don't have this clear focus direction on what we actually want to be, so we don't actually know the things that we need to incrementally improve at to become better to get to the level that we want to get at.

It gives clarity, and clarity gives reason and purpose for all your actions. You start auditing what you're doing every day, and is it moving you closer? Without a target, how do you know? You know and I know we run into this problem. The whole world now is trying to feel feel good. And feel good is the vaguest notion you've ever had and as a target, you never hit. That's just a constant dopamine rush to feel good. We want to be good. And to be good, we have to know what that takes, what that means. You said you need measurable targets. I write about it in the book, and those targets will move throughout time. But every moment, you have to have reason and purpose for your actions. Why am I doing? I'm doing this to get here and to review. Maybe I got to tweak that. That's fine. I'm not moving closer. Good will change. And that gives your actions purpose, and it gives you purpose. And it's something you said about high agency. It's something I speak to our team all the time, our high school kids all the time. We talk about some kids are born with more money in the bank from Daddy and more connections and whatever.

And that's life, okay? And I always tell the kids, more important than having the advantage is being the advantage. And that's who you are. Because if you have an advantage, you can lose that advantage. And then you don't have anything anymore. And if you have an advantage, someone else can get that same advantage, right? In tech and business, you got the advantage because of this. Sooner or later, someone else is going to have that, too. Now, what do you got? But if you are the advantage, you're as you spoke of a high-agency person that is always able to see reality and make whatever adjustment is needed to keep moving closer to the target that you have selected. That's a unique skill that can be learned by everybody, but we got to get away from wanting to feel good. That clouds everything. You want to be good. To be good is this is what I want, this is what it takes, this is what it doesn't take. Now, every action, are you doing these things or not? It's very simple when When I coach strength training or diet, these foods will help you, these won't. If you're eating them, you're not getting close to where you want to get to.

It feels good. That's irrelevant. You want to be here. You want to be good. You and I know there is no better feeling in the world than becoming who you set out to become. Who you've decided. I said a big two. You don't want to be someone, you don't want to be happy. You want to be doing what you've decided to do. And later, if it's not what you like and where you choose again, but every moment, you are actually living your life. You're not just existing, trying to feel good chasing the next dopamine hit or whatever guru has told you will make your life happy, become somebody of purpose. That is rare today. It's rare.

Yeah. And the worst part is When we find someone in our life who has a purpose, it's so attractive. Even if their purpose isn't something you're even interested in. Just when you see somebody with purpose and passion for something, you're interested. You could I completely disagree with it. You're interested, though. You want to know what they have to say. You want to hear them. You want to... I love, and this is going to sound crazy to everyone listening who is a long-time listener, but I love listening to AOC. I love listening to it. And I'll tell you why. I honestly believe that she is doing what she honestly believes is best for this country. Now, some of her peers on the Democratic side, I do not think that's true. I think that's true of Republicans, too. So I think of a lot of politicians, most politicians, they are there for, I think, primarily selfish or self-oriented reasons, or they went and got corrupted very easily. However, with her, I think her viewpoint, what she's been taught, what her belief systems are, are bananas. But I'm very attracted from a personal psychology, from a human psychology perspective, not the other type, not physical attraction, whatever.

But I'm attracted by the way she communicates, the passion that she how she takes these topics, which have no receipts. She's basically selling air. All of the philosophy that she is espousing has zero receipts behind it. If anything, the receipts are net negative. These are things that have been shown through history to drive you right into the mountain. However, she believes them and she passionately conveys them. So you're attracted to the passion, even if you don't agree. Yet so few of us, to your point, grab on to purpose and passion, and then we wonder why no one is attracted to what we're doing, why no one wants to come work for our company, or why no one wants to hire us to do a keynote or listens to our podcast or whatever our thing is. It's because you're just existing. You're just putting things out to put them out. What gets you fired up in the morning? What is the thing that just when you do that thing, you can't think of anything else. This has been a big eye opener for me with ADHD. I think we talked about it last time, but diagnosed three years I very severe, pinned to the top, ADHD.

At first, I was like, What does that mean? The idea fits. But as I've gotten into what it actually is, it's that oftentimes people with PhD, their brains were wired to be hunters or warriors. I'm not trying to position that self as I'm some special hunter or warrior, but 20% of the population has this difference in brain, chemistry, and structure. And the idea is on the things that you are interested in and passionate about, you become hyper-focused, more focused than a normie can possibly get to. However, the opposite is also true. On the things that you're not passionate about, you could give two shits and you have no ability to placate someone, which is probably anyone who's ever had a conversation with me about something that I wasn't interested in, you're well aware of what that looks like. Although I do try very hard. And my point in getting to that is like, What that has taught me is how important being that unique, driven, purpose-filled person is. And we've talked about Jordan Peterson before. I think we may have even talked about in the last podcast. He is the one that opened me up to this idea of be a monster, become a monster, know how to use the sword, know how to shoot a gun, know some martial art, have intelligence, have energy, have aggression, but then learn how to control it in a way that allows you to live this purpose-filled life.

Because if you can do that, then you have the skills, the confidence, the agency to be who you need to be while focusing on a mission. I think so many So many this idea of toxic masculinity and hyper-aggression and boys aren't allowed to roughhouse in the halls anymore and all these different things, they've lost that. They're almost afraid, I I'm reading between the two leaves, not a licensed psychologist here, but to me, I almost see a fear of being aggressive. When I tell my son, because I told you, he doesn't have this natural killer instinct, but highly talented. I've seen it in moments. I used to say on the basketball court with him, Duke's going to suck, his name's Duke, until he gets hit the first time. Once he gets hit, all of a sudden, that trigger in his brain of holding back, he's holding back. He's holding back. He's holding back. All of a sudden, he gets hit and that adrenaline drops into his system. And now he's a killer. Now he's crossing dudes up and shooting guns. And I'm like, Dude, why do you need permission to go out and be that person?

Why do you have to get hit or have somebody say something to you? And I think it's because they're almost fearful of... It's almost like they don't understand what positive, what non-toxic sexic aggression and masculinity looks like. They're so afraid to go out and be that hyper-aggressive person. I'm not 100% sure why that is, but it definitely seems to be the case. They need permission to be aggressive.

I think, and again, we're not psychologists. We're people out there working with youth, and we see what we see, mostly. One thing I really view is kids have never been more talented. They've never been more athletic. They've never been stronger. They've I've never been smarter. Our kids are smart. Kids are smart and sharp. But I see a general lack of courage and confidence, and so they play safe. You can say, Well, nobody wants to get caught on social media. It's before that. It's this, I think you're right, this fear of saying, This is who I am. This is what I'm going to do. I'm not going to own it, but this is where I'm headed with life. Everybody is just scared to stand out. I think part of the blame is we have institutionalized everything they've done. They've just played by the rules. They've done what they're told. They're good at what they're told to do. They get good grades because they played the rules right, where we didn't have as much structure when we were growing up. You had to figure it out and you needed to develop courage or you were on the bench, or you weren't invited out, or you didn't get a date, or you didn't get invited to the party.

That took courage to put yourself out there and try to get in with the cool guys or ask that girl, or show up. It's like, You're going to get booed. Yeah, but I want to go. And that's been dulled down to a point that they speak when they're asked, they answer the way they're supposed to answer, and they're very good, they're very intelligent. But that whole like, This is not going to do it. And I'm probably going to get in trouble, but I'll learn from that and adapt and move on. And I think that has just been, it's been raised out of them. And that's our fault. And that is our fault. That's on us. Because you see it. Kids, nobody's happy when you're muting yourself, when you're dulling yourself down. And so, of course, I got to take some medication. And then you get older, you drink or do drugs because it doesn't feel good to not be who you really know you should be. But now you get to an age where you don't even know how. Where do you start? It's been so knocked out of you. Kirt, courage, you can push to the point that it almost is gone.

It's like you missed going... That was the midlife crisis problem for our generation at 50. I hate my life. I got all the money in the cars. But now they're hitting at 18 going, I don't even like myself. Because they never had the courage to try to find out who they want to be and go for it.

Yeah, that's exactly it. They've never tried to be who they are.

Risk has been removed, right? As you said, we let you win without trying. Yes. Why would I try? Then you realize that's where the enjoyment is, but it's too late now because I don't have the courage anymore.

You probably see this in your football. Today, parents' willingness to go to a coach and complain about playing time or where they're playing or all these different things, I would be mortified, regardless of what was happening on the team, regardless of the coach, hated me, didn't play, treated me unfairly, held me to... No matter what was going on, If one of my parents actually went to my coach and had some shit to say, I would be mortified. I would be absolutely just... It would be awful. And today, they're just Oh, my kid's not going to have playing time. I'm going to go talk to the coach. What's up, homie? Is your brother here? Tell your brother to come down here, too. Say hi to Mr. Angus. This is my buddy. He wrote the book. This is Colty. This is my younger son, Colty. And then this is Duke, the one that's reading your book.

What's up, Duke? How are you, bud?

Hi. Duke. So this is Angus. He's writing. He wrote Teenager, right? Great. Great. Thanks, buddy. Thanks. So, Colty, I just want Duke to talk to Mr. Angus for a couple of minutes just about the book that he's reading. So Duke, is there any particular... What's one big takeaway that you've had from the book so far while you're putting your book report together? So I just actually finished my book report. And one of my big takeaways was, don't give up and always work hard. So you have a former professional athlete, now high-level coach, won awards, won a Gray Cup, very high-performing athlete. Do you have any questions for him about the book or about what you read, or was there anything that came to your mind that you'd like to ask him, being that you have this very unique opportunity here? There's no wrong answer, so anything that comes to mind. In the book, it says when you quit football, what year did you start playing it again?

I was in the eighth grade, and And I quit because it was tough. It was hard, and it sucked, and equipment was no fun, and everybody had already played before. And I quit because it was hard. And I thought fun was supposed to be easy because I was 13 years old, and life had been pretty easy up to that point. I never played against the grade 11, and it took that long. I had the health issue that happened in grade nine with my appendix, and then it took that many years to build courage up, to get back into that fight, and not till grade 11, which is a late time to do it, and it was terrifying and scary, but if I didn't build the courage to start, I wouldn't be here today. So that's a long gap for a lot of people. I didn't have friends, and didn't feel a part of anything, and I wasn't achieving anything. And life sucked in grade nine or grade 10, watching TV all day and avoiding struggle and avoiding challenge. So it was the 11th grade I came back, and I sucked again, but I made a commitment this time, and I decided to get better every day.

And shocking what happens, what compounds over time when you put in the work. So, yeah, 11th grade is when I started again.

Any more questions? Got to have one more. Just one more? Well, you can ask more if you have more. Okay. What year did you start playing football?

I was in grade 11, so let's call it that. I don't know. What was that now? I'm an old man now, so that would have been 1991.

Do you mean pro football? Yeah.

2001 was my rookie season. I retired in 2014, so I played 13 years. I was center, and that was about 90 pounds ago. Even that 300 pounds, I was the smallest guy in the league at what I did. So I mean, remarkably small to be able to pull that off. So I was playing a game amongst giants, doing what I could to get out there and not just hang with them, but beat them as much as best I could. Every single time I had a chance.

So one question that I had for you, Angus, with Duke was, he's still growing into his body, right? So sometimes he'll play against kids at the same level who just have matured faster, they're bigger, they're stronger, they're faster. In the sixth grade, you have these fairly large disparities in where kids are in their physical development. So if you were coaching someone like Duke who incredibly talented skills-wise, but is still growing into his body, how would you recommend he approach playing the game and playing kids who maybe are a little more physically gifted, being that that was a lot of your career was you being the smallest guy on the field, but being able to compete with these guys. What did you do and how did you approach that physical difference to be as successful as you were.

So it's a good point. When I got to the pro level, I had a great coach that I wrote my first book about Thank you, Coach. He always shared with me something that's always stuck. The comforting crux is that perfect technique can win against anyone. It doesn't mean you will win against anyone every time, but your saving grace is playing the position you are playing the very best technical ability as possible. So whatever you're being taught, the technique and the fundamentals, perfecting that will always give you the best chance. Because you and I both know the better the athlete, the better the probability there's laziness in terms of fundamentals, because they don't need it, particularly at a young age. They're fast, so they just run faster than everyone. They jump, they just... You see it in every sport. And that won't change even the higher level you get. Your saving grace is spending your focus, doing it the right way you've been taught to the very best of your ability. And I will say, you go compete against them. You'll beat them sometimes, you won't. But all you're measuring, are you You're getting better? The problem a lot of people have is, I couldn't beat this guy, but you got better.

That's the long game that matters. You're using them to improve yourself, and that's hard for people to measure. You want to win every game you go into. But the real goal is, are you constantly getting better? You playing as better opponents, that's going to make you forced to not try to play their game, is to play your game better, which is technically sound, knowing the game inside out, making the right decisions. You keep improving that, you'll always be able to compete against anybody.

Any more questions? No. All right. Hey. Good man.

Thank you. Thanks for coming in. And thanks for reading the book. That means a lot. That's awesome.

Yeah. He said he really liked it, which is awesome. And I'm glad that we got to do that from a timing perspective because I had been telling them about you and just that we were going to have a chat and everything. So I'm glad you got to talk. So dude, the book in general, is this geared towards teenagers like Duke reading it? Is it for parents on talking to teenagers? Or is it really something where we get the book and maybe you read it with your teenager, with your kids, or in conjunction, and you talk through it together? What's your best case scenario there?

So the initial thing is it's written for teenagers to read, so they might actually read it. It's teenager language in terms of ease of digestion, but hopefully it takes a long time to fully digest it. But teenagers should engage it. It's not deep, deep, deep dives, but I want to have every chapter is a universal lesson that's applicable to a teenager. Funny thing is, though, Ryan, they're universal lessons. So when an adult picks it up, they're going to challenge themselves thinking stuff through right where they are in life. But the perfect goal for me is teenagers that are on teams and groups and clubs do it like a book study, and there's a coach, a teacher that reads it. They'll probably benefit from it. But I have follow-up workbooks coming out now where they all engage in group discussions amongst themselves. They start auditing their life and who my friends are, where do I want to go, what am I good at, what do I like to do that I'm too scared to even and how do we formulate your playbook, shall we say, so you get going. Teenagers can read it on their own if they want an inspiration, but it's designed to challenge you to think through your life right now as a teenager.

Adults, parents can read it. It might give you insights, conversation starters. But This is written so teams will actually hopefully read the book and not just read it, but engage it like your son did and then follow up and reflect and start mapping out their life and making decisions and challenge themselves and all stuff we've talked about, taking risks, giving a shot, going all in on yourself, betting on yourself and formulating your team. Who are you around? What are the mentors you need to find? Who are your friends you got to drop? Who are your friends you got to find? What do you need to do that's going to help you get there that you're terrified to do, but you know you got to do it? How can you find people that are doing it to make that path easier? Choosing better mentors and heroes and inspirations. Who do you got? What are you following on your social media feeds? Are these people losers? Are they actually giving you insights or inspiration or tangible proof to move on? It's good for anybody, but it is written for teenagers, specifically.

Yeah. I can't wait for the workbook when you were telling me about it because I was like, I'm going to get a workbook for each one of us, for my younger son, Duke, my younger son, Cole, Duke, and myself. I want to make it part of our routine is the three of us working through this together. Because I've said this before on the show, and I believe it. I've always been a reader. I've always been a massive consumer. I've always thought about stuff I'd like to believe at a deeper level. But I didn't start really focusing on discipline, formance, commitment, these mental models, these ideas, these concepts to drive success until I was in my mid-30s. I think to myself, what could I have become? I don't have a regret. This isn't a regretful feeling. It's a thought experiment. What could I have become if I learn those same lessons at 12, 13, 14, 15, even if they didn't sink in the same way that they did in my mid-30s, or I wasn't as motivated because I hadn't had enough life experience yet to fully understand them. Just getting those ideas in front of me at that age and having them work through them and have to think through them, do I then pick them back up?

One, maybe I integrate them immediately and all my wildest dreams come true, or two, when I'm ready earlier in my life, they snap back to me as tools in my toolkit that I can pull up and bring in and utilize versus having to hit, not rock bottom, but have a bad moment in my life be the impetus to say, I'm going to get my shit together and become the best version of myself at 35 or whatever I was. I think that's incredible. I also love the idea Especially with the workbook, because in going through this with Duke, and like I said, I haven't read the whole thing, but I've read a lot of parts of it as I've gone through his book report with him. The workbook, to me, marries... Okay, so my son read this book. That's amazing. Hopefully, some of those ideas digested. The workbook is more like, what did you digest? What didn't you? And how do we actually put it into play? And can you start to teach it back to me? Can you start to talk these terms back to me? And that's where it really starts to sink in.

I think doing a workbook for this was an incredible idea, and I'm very happy that you did.

I wanted it to be more than just a fun read, and they got inspired. You and I, we keynote. Listen, the backstory of This whole book was, I do corporate speaking now, but 25 years of my life since I started playing pro was speaking to teenagers, high schools. I did school talks for decades. I wanted to package everything I'd ever shared with them into a one piece because I can't do that forever anymore. And really, the reality is I wrote this book for my three young boys because one day, they're not going to listen to dad directly, but dad wrote a book that's pretty cool. And here's all the messaging, all the wisdom I can bestow, third-party regurgitate you because it's cool because it's in a book. And the workbook is more than just reading something now. Now you got to not just reflect. It's going to force you to build your playbook. This was my story. They're universal lessons. Take them, build your story now. And again, we spoke about this earlier. Making Take a decision of who you want to become. Pick a tangible target, not just saying, I'm going to be a good person.

Pick an outlet. It's sports, it's business, it's science, it's music. Just pick something so we can create a target which will give reason of purpose now to all your actions. You start auditing. Now you got to start finding your friends, your mentors, your teacher. You got to find everybody, and you fill your day with every action that's going to marshal you towards your goal. Once you do that, whether that's where you want to become or not, you have the playbook on how to move It hurts something, and you put it into something else. It doesn't matter. I try to build the framework as, this is how you navigate life. Pick whatever the hell you want right now. You're a teenager. Pick something. Making the team. You're not going to do that for the rest of your life. But how to get from A to B will be the exact same playbook to get from A to B anywhere. You're just going to plug in different variables as you get older. So yeah, an adult reads this and they're probably going to have to go, Yeah, I got to start hanging out with people that are already better than what I'm doing because I'm already the best in my group.

That's not helping me. I have a whole chapter on super friends, the ones you're trying to keep up with. You don't have those, you will never achieve what you can because you're already coasting. All the little things that matter. And whether it's a teenager trying to make the team, and I hung out with buddies that were stronger and faster than me, and I was trying to keep up with them. So I became better at weight lifting and training because I want to to hang out with them. No different than business or life. Do you have all these ingredients? It's the recipe. A teenager can use it right now, just like a parent can use it right now, just like a business leader can use it right now. But I wanted to do something in teenage language. They don't have to wait till they're 30, as you said, to be like, Should I wish I knew some of this stuff when I was younger? ' Here it is in my teenage world, although it was 30 years removed and the world might be different, we're the same. We're all still, we were all kids scared. Are we good enough?

Do we have friends? Are we cool? I want to be something, but I don't know if I can. It's never going to end. Yes, you can. This is what it takes. And the cost is courage. The rest of it I can tell you, the cost is courage. And in wanting something enough that you're going to take that first step and then we can roll.

Yeah. I don't know who originally said this, but I heard Ed Milet say it the other day, and it was a great reminder. He just said, In case you need to hear this, action creates confidence. Confidence doesn't create action. Correct.

Motion creates emotion, not the other way around.

Yes. I think when you say that, people are probably listening to this going like, Oh, I've heard that before, or, Oh, that makes sense. But I think we forget that. We forget it even as adults, right? We're like, Man, I'm not sure if I should do this, or I'm not sure. We have all these feelings of insecurity or doubt or et cetera. Actually, Gary Vee, I think, is the one who has said this the most, this particular version of it, which is just like, You You have to be willing to be terrible if you want to be amazing. You're never going to be amazing if you're not willing to be terrible for a period of time. And that period of time might be super short. And it may be when you're five, or it may be when you're twelve, or it may be when you're 45. It doesn't really matter. But if you're not willing to be terrible, even for a short period of time, you have no chance of being amazing. Because even if, like you said, you have a natural step ahead, whether it's just God given athletic ability, or it's money, or it's parents' connections, or school you went to, whatever.

If you aren't still willing to be terrible, you're only ever going to be that good. You're only ever going to be as good as that initial piece of luck that you had, your born in luck, gave you. That's the top. That person who we may look at, think about the NBA star who plays one season in the NBA and then they're gone. We're going, Oh, my God, you got to play one season in the NBA. I would have loved to play. And in their mind, what they're saying is when it's dark at night, regardless of what they say on the microphone, is like, God, if only I had insert things they didn't do to play that next year. Regardless of where you start or what God-given advantages you have, we're all wired to want to be better. And if we aren't willing to be that awful version of ourselves or a version that isn't as good as it's expected of maybe is a better way to put it, then we'll never get past that and truly see how good we could be. And we forget that. We forget that that action is the only way to confidence.

It's funny, Ryan. It takes us right back to the beginning of our conversation where we said the gap between, generally, the left and the right is everybody wants this because that's human nature. We want. We have to be willing to accept that. That requires doing. And I think for the most part, the end of the day, doing requires courage. Just start. Just go. It's going to suck. Just get going. Get going and learn. Get better as... You will never get better thinking your way to the end. You'll only get better doing. And you adopt and go and get going. Well, it's going to take a long time. It's going to take longer if you wait till tomorrow. Start and adjust course accordingly. But every step, you'll become better and you'll learn and you'll equate. And every lesson you can apply, if you move your target later, you know who you are now and you know what you can handle. But everybody wants. The question is, are you going to do? And the book is going to give you ideas and tips. But at the end of the day, We have to install with our youth courage again.

Go. What if? What if? What? Go. Go. What if I fall over? You will fall over. Go. And you'll get up. Go. I will be with you, but I will not do it for you. I will be with you, but I will not do it for you. I will challenge you and clap for you and cheer for you, but you're going to have to learn to get up and then go more.

And we always what if to the negative. We never what if to the positive.

Why are we fearful creatures? We're terrified. Humans are fearful by nature. We need to over... And I think back to your point, the news, social media, they lead with terrifying headlines because it gets our attention. We're scared. So we need more inspiration. We need more people Like you said, we're drawn to people that say, I don't care. I'm going anyways. Wow, that's incredible. That person can do that. We all can. But we listen to all the noise because the noise knows what grabs our attention is fear. And fear impedes action. Nobody moves forward scared unless you have to. Voluntarily, when you're scared, you retreat. That's what we do. Fearful people, Sean. You need... Your purpose has to be greater than what you're scared of. And that's why, to me, I can't tell you what to do Because I don't know what's going to override fear. Only you know. Like you said, with your ADHD, when you find what you're focused on, I don't care what's in front of me. I'm plowing forward. And so the only way for some people to find that is to tinker. Get busy doing stuff. Don't like it. Throw it out.

Do the next thing. Throw it out. Do the next Oh, I love this. Then go. This will override fear because this is you. You found an outlet. Like I said in the book, you know more about where the future is than I do with AI and this whole world. Everybody's scared. Everybody's scared. I had a long talk to my dad who was 83 years old, and he goes, Angus, I'm really scared for your kids. I said, I'm not. My kids are eight, six, and eight months old. I'm scared for kids that are 25 right now because they were raised on a playbook that isn't the same anymore. They don't know what to do. In about 10 years, every 50 years, there's been a whole revolution of how the world changes. My kids will flourish because we'll have adjusted and they'll be of age to rip through the new way of living our lives and earning money. Just like when the industrial revolution was going to destroy everybody, it made everybody rich that adapted. The hard part is an adjustment. We'll move forward. I said, Look, just keep getting better. This too will pass. Are you going to be on the other side, though?

The only way to be the other side is to keep going. Fear impedes everybody, and it keeps you looking around. Just Pick something and keep diving forward with it. Just get better. We'll keep going.

Dude, I could talk to you for hours. I love our conversations. I do want to drive everyone to your Instagram. I know you post a lot of stuff about football, but you also post a lot of motivational stuff. Guys, Angus's Instagram is absolutely blown up with these football videos that you're doing. So if your kid plays football, absolutely follow Angus. I'll have the link in the description. But you also post a lot of motivational stuff. And for anyone out there who puts on events, Angus is one of my most recommended keynote speakers. When everyone asks me, Hey, do you know somebody? You are always on the list. There is no person out there who brings the energy, the connection, the insights, but also just a genuine giving a shit for the audience and what they get out of it. I've seen you speak live twice now. I don't normally stop and watch speakers, but I sit right in the back. I watch every word. I love the way you do your thing. Incredible speaker. So besides, say, the Instagram, et cetera, if someone wants to just get in your world, I'll have links to the book as well.

Show notes, scroll down. Where can people get involved in your world?

I'm on X, AngusRead 64. Linkedin, you can find me. My website is angusread. Ca. My keynote speaking is there, but on the book section with Teenager, you can link and buy the book through Amazon or bulk orders through me. But my real push here, Ryan, is to challenge local corporations and business leaders to sponsor. I don't want kids buying my book. I don't want your money. I want companies in their area to say, Listen, I got a boys and girls club here. I got my kids' baseball team. I got the school where my son goes to. I want to sponsor them getting their 50 books They get the workbooks. And listen, you sponsor enough books, I'll do a keynote online for that company, complimentary, because you help my cause, I'll help your company. No problem. All that information is on my website at angstreet. Ca. If you just click Teenager Books, it's all there. Corporate sponsorships. Do something good in your community. Give kids that fighting chance they need, and I'll be there to support it all the way.

I love it, bro. I appreciate the hell out of you. You're one of my favorite people. Thank you so much.

Thank you for having me on, man. Keep doing what you're doing, Ryan. We need more people like you in this world.