Transcript of Americans Talk to a British Guy for the First Time - Dropouts #230

God, all the best friends are here.

Five guys hanging out.

There's five.

Five dudes.

Five beautiful humans hanging out.

Five dudes in a diner.

Five dudes is four dudes and a girl.

Don't. Dude, do not call.

Just because he has a pink sweater does not make him a girl.

Don't be. 90 seconds.

We're bringing pink back. Very masculine color now.

Yeah, it's very masculine.

Real men wear pink. Do you not remember that movement?

She. Wait, hold on. She just said, I'm being gaslit. She's literally just trying to plug merch.

Oh, my God.

And you're not even genuine. You're being homophobic and not genuine, okay? That's all I'm trying to say.

I don't know about homophobic, okay?

Say sexist shop dropouts, dot com if you really want all this gaslight crap. Anyway, we got Miguel. He made love on an island once. It happens. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for having me, man.

God, I've been. The way that you speak, it's like cursive to my ears. I don't know what to do.

Was coming out real neat.

The estrogen is just filling up to my heart. I don't know what to do. I mean, I know you're in a committed relationship, but, God, it's crazy that.

He'S bringing the estrogen out of you.

It's beautiful, but he.

Just do your best, man.

I see.

I felt it a little bit.

It was fine before we put the headphones on. Then you start.

You know, that's what you're saying. Like, there's nothing more humbling before, like being on headphones and hearing your voice back. You're like, oh, that's how I sound.

Yeah, but except for you.

Sounds like that. He goes. He's like, oh, I'm real humbled. I'm like, I'm sure you are, bud.

I can't tell if it makes me want to, like, make love or cut your tongue out. It's a fine line.

You can flip a queen.

I'll flip anything for you. All right, hit some intro music. We got the captain.

My feelings, though.

As you should be.

As you should be.

And listen, and don't get wandering eyes from me. I know I've got a body that won't quit, but you're committed, okay? And I want you to stay that way.

Hold on.

Before anybody says another word. Patreon. Down below, we're doing drunk episodes where apparently, I think in the next one, I have to get drunk because I promised Andrea That I would. And she's going to. Come on. Yeah, down there. I'm going to punch you.

And Alyssa's going to get high on the next one.

Oh, yeah, this is going to get high in the next one. So bring me in.

What the hell is this?

Yeah, you come as well. The more the merrier. Obviously we can't post any of these on YouTube, so they're in the Patreon link in the description. 7 day free trial if you want it. Also, we just got a new cell phone where you guys can text and call us if you're part of the big tier. So anyway, we might lose the phone.

Though, because we have not paid the phone bill for it.

You didn't pay the phone bill?

I paid it today.

Here's allegedly. I said the other day, it was like one, we owe 180 bucks, whatever. And I'm like, hey, we got to pay this phone bill. And then today I'm like, we owe 340. These people are serious about getting this phone bill paid. And it's all Alyssa's fault.

No, no, we can ask. Miguel's here. We're going to ask you for money.

Spot us.

He came in. He came in a Mercedes. He's got it.

Oh, that was part of the contract.

You actually pay us to be on this show. That's how this works.

I need to talk to my manager real quick.

He's not a good one. He did not negotiate well.

Shake me right here.

He definitely did. Well, what's going on? How is America treating you?

Oh, America's been good, man.

Thank you so much.

Believe, honestly, you did really well, like setting it all up and everything.

I was.

It took a while.

Yeah.

What you can imagine.

What's your favorite part that I set up so far?

Vegas.

Oh, I was born.

I ain't gonna lie. Vegas, I love it.

Do you like consuming alcohol and throwing some yams around?

It really is an adults playground. Like you go in there and you're like, okay, it's. You're welcome. No, you know what it is? So when I arrived, when I first got here and I landed in Hollywood, Uber drivers taking me there. I get there and I'm like, this. This don't look like it did on tv.

Yeah, it's a lot more hard realization.

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. So I was like, okay, scary. Not what I expect.

Yeah.

So when I arrived, when I got to Vegas, I was thinking, okay, it's probably the same thing. It's probably way smaller. Not already going on. I got them like yo, the lights are lighting. The people are people in, like, the vibes are just vibing all around. Like, it was so good. So it's not even about the alcohol or anything, because I cannot handle my alcohol.

Really?

Yeah, yeah. I'm not that kind of Brit. Like, you won't catch me in pubs or not in lightweight situation. Lightest of. I'm a weight, bro.

What. What do you. What kind of drunk are you?

A terrible one.

Terrible. Is that. Is that fighting, gaslighting, or is it.

I guess, somewhat emotional. I'm the. I'm the kind of drunk to be like, I love you, bro. I'm the best kind ever.

Like, do you want to drink?

No. No. But this is. This is where it goes wrong, cuz I cannot. Alcohol don't sit in my system.

Yeah.

So the moment I lay down or sit down, room starts spinning. I'm about to chunda. Like, it's not good. I actually have a funny story. Me in Mexico, don't drink too much. In Mexico. They put something in their tequila. It's very different to the western tequila.

Well, it's straight from the source at that point, you know?

You know what, they say that, but, like, when you go to the resorts, I don't think it's straight from the source. I think they mix the sauce up, you know what I mean? So I was there and hopefully it don't kill me with this.

No, no, she's. She.

Well, yeah, she's good. She.

We talked to her.

A.

Okay.

If I know her, she's good.

I'm sure. I'm sure. But so, yeah, we. I got invited to this to go visit a. What do you call it? Like, a resort. Yeah, really nice resort. Massive as hell. And it's our final night. So I look at Lee and I'm like, yo, we're gonna get lit tonight. Like, we might as well do what we came here to do.

And like, that's a dangerous game to play on the last day before you have to go home, though.

That's a dangerous game for me to even, like, put on the table. I'm putting the cards down. Usually I'm the one running away from the table, but, yeah, here I am putting out this offer. Let's get lit. She's like, I bet we start drinking and shit. Because it's final night. They have a massive party. Everyone's getting lit. I'm taking one shot, two shots, three shots, then I'm having cocktails, and then I get given this massive bottle of champagne because we're like, all the influences and stuff were there in a line, and we had to pop the bottle.

And like, oh, my God.

Cheers and everything. I'm seeing people down the bottle. I'm like, I might as well join in. I'm going to die. Of course I'm drinking. I'm taking a drink from the bottle. And then night's over. Me and Leah head back to the room. And you know when you step out, or like, for instance, like when you. When you're getting drunk inside and you step outside and that wind, that first gust of wind really hits, and you're like, okay, I'm really drunk right now.

That guy knows. You could tell he might be drunk right now.

When the AC in the car hits me, like, oh.

Not driving.

We're not driving the left side.

Hell, yeah.

These weren't there. They were actually on my. I didn't have my hands on this.

But we're walking. We haven't stepped outside. I just got out the elevator, and I think it's just where the attitude or whatever, it is, like, going up, and then that pressure comes in. I'm like, okay, I'm really feeling it now. We get into the room. Me and Leo get into it. Whatever.

What does that even mean?

Yeah, I think you know what it means.

We're watching tv. No, no, Netflix. Hello, Netflix, you know, And I'm in a certain area.

What is that?

Oh, no, I'm in a certain area of the bed.

I think I say the body. Okay, keep going.

Or the end of bed. I'm trying to be really inconspicuous with this, but I'm down there. I'm there now. And I'm like, fuck, it's really hot in here. So I shoot up and I turn on ac. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, it's really fucking hot in there. She goes, no, it's really cold. AC is already turned on. I'm like, are you sure? She's like, yeah. I'm like, okay, okay. Trying to get back into it.

Yeah.

And I'm having, like, this mad internal monolog going on right now. I'm talking to myself, and my conscience is there saying, miggs, you are fucked. And I'm telling my conscience, now, we're good. We got to power through. He's like, nah, you need to sit the fuck down. I'm like, nah, I'm here now. I'm gonna power through. Leo just says to me, miguel, you good? I'm like, mm. Then she goes, miguel, you gonna throw up? I'm like, Yes.

I get the up.

I'm butt naked. I run straight to the bed, and I'm chundering for, like, time wouldn't stop. Wake up the next day, the worst hangover of my life. I'm there in bed and I'm like, oh, I've got to catch a flight in like an hour. I'm not feeling good. I go straight to the toilet. I'm throwing up again. Oh, worst headache. I'm literally saying to Leah, like, yo, I. I don't think we can catch this flight. She goes, nah, we have to get this flight. We're not staying here. I'm like, listen, I'll pay for an extra night. I'll pay for the flight back. I'll pay you as well. She's like, nah, nah, we gotta go. This is like the worst ride home I've ever had. Like, in the. Walking out of the hotel room and I got my hood on. I'm trying to be, like, mad, like, incognito. And then instantly a fan's, like, walking back. It's like, hey, guys, how you doing? I'm like. She's like, so, did you guys enjoy your night? You look really sad. I'm like, yeah, I'm just feeling really sick right now. She goes, oh, really? I'm sorry to hear that.

Can I get a picture? I look at her, I'm like, I might throw up on you. She's like, oh, okay, I understand. I was like, people coming up to us talking, and I'm just there, like, holding my head, like, please, I just wanna go home. I just wanna go home. Yeah. It was a very long flight back.

Oh, my God. I couldn't think of a more compromising position than throwing up on the toilet butt ass naked.

Oh, I felt. I felt vulnerable as fuck.

That is totally a massive depend on.

What type of girl you're with. She'll take the advantage.

You know Voldemort, when he gets thrown into the cauldron.

That was it.

That's me right there. I was, like, holding onto the ball, praying to God, like, I swear I won't drink again. Like, please just let me heal.

And you haven't drank since, which we're really proud of you for. No, you promised. No, God listens through all. So I'm sure you kept your promise.

Obviously, I promised I wouldn't get that drunk again. I didn't say I wouldn't touch.

This is our next favorite. Absolutely favorite, favorite segment is Skyler is the biggest Love island fan in the entire world. So he knows he Knows everything about you. He knows everything about your life, your family. So we hit here. So we all kind of be quiet and we just let Skyler rattle off all the questions he has for you. This is him right here. He's ready to go.

I big, big fan. Let me see. What do I have about the.

What's your favorite episode?

I like the fourth one of the newest season.

I wasn't even in it.

I don't pick favorites. No. I'll be honest, I'm not familiar with what the show is.

You know what's funny? Neither was I. No, before I went on it, I was like. The only time I saw it was one of my friends was in Love island uk, so he was in Castle more. So I saw his little bit, and then that was like three episodes and I never saw it since. That was the only information I've had about Love Island.

What made you go on Love Island US vs Love Island UK?

So I was actually staying in LA at the time. I was crashing one of my boys, and they hit me up first, and they were like, yo, we like your look. We think you got the charisma. We would like to get you on the show, like, potentially. So they put me through the audition process, and then literally, like the day after, I got hit up by Love island uk. And honestly, it was mainly the vibe because the person speaking to me on the phone was way more nicer than the person speaking to me in Love island uk. Not throwing shade in it, but, like, they weren't selling it to me. Like, I was like. I literally said. I was like, well, Love Island USA is hitting me up. And I was saying, it's both. I said like, Love island uk hit me up to the UK version. I say, love island, you say, hit me up. And the US version was like, oh, really? We'd love to get you on the show. Like, we think you'd be perfect for this. Love I UK.

Your ass there.

Then how do they find you? Or how do you find them?

They just hit me up on Instagram.

Okay. Yeah.

That's disgusting.

I hit him up. I hit him up. I was like, I. And they said, not handsome enough.

You actively reached out?

No, I'll put a good one. I thought you didn't know. I was like, this guy's on the backside of a bit, and it's not good. Colin, I got a seat for you right here, brother. This is all for you.

Big up, Colin.

Now you got to walk through here so people know. Yep. Right over there. There it is.

The throne the walk of shame. I go here earlier than. My manager is crazy from the west side.

So we've never had a guest get here, like, early. They're always late. So he gets here, like, 30 minutes early, and we're all like, what?

Zach's eating a steak.

We're like, who's this guy?

I was chilling with your puppy. That's. That's all I came here early for.

We call her Alyssa.

But. And be cool.

And be cool. Jump us in. Jump us into your first. She. She. She has a lot of things hot and ready for you. That's how she described it. And I said, chill, but show them what you got hot and ready for, dad.

Okay. Okay. So I have a segment. I don't have a title for it, but it's just British slang and, like, idioms. So I'm gonna kind of tell you guys a slang that you guys use in the UK I feel like I'm.

Gonna be at this.

And then you've already said you've been, like, chahunga ing. Yeah.

I never heard that before in my life. Chundered. I'm gonna use it.

Really?

Yeah. Never heard it.

And that is to release your insides from your mouth.

Yes. Producing guts. From producing guts.

I also like that you guys. You cut off, like, adjectives from things. So instead of saying, like, I was on the toilet for a long time, you're just like, I was on the toilet for a time. You know, that was one thing I picked up on.

You guys are built for speed.

Yeah.

We just efficiently see it, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Which I appreciate. Life short. Yeah. My grandfather could be an hour.

Conversation is done in five minutes. Yeah.

I wish I would have talked to him.

Oh, my God.

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Mind O child, I want some Maggie for my mind.

No, but in all actuality, magic mind.

Is good because I don't drink coffee either, so I like to throw this down to feel nice. Bright. Well, it's a productivity shot. I Energy and focus crush procrastination and elevate mental clarity.

I'll be honest. I'm more of a gummy guy. I think the gummies, dude, the gummies are so good.

And the Thing is, I do drink coffee, but coffee doesn't make me feel focused. It just throw me a gummy. I'm just going to toss you the bag first.

Why?

I felt more confident in my abilities to get it to him.

You're supposed to eat three if you're an adult. We're just going to do one right now.

But they also, if you don't want the gummies, they do have their normal, just like wellness shot that has nootropics, matcha adaptogens and vitamins for focus, energy, less stress and immunity. It's fantastic.

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You know what makes me grateful? Thanksgiving because I get to see my family. It's so beautiful. You know what else makes me thankful? Go to the gym. Get my body right. You know what also is kind of like going to the gym for your mind therapy, you know, is the easiest way to get therapy into your veins. Better help. Think about that.

Yeah. So therapy has been great for me. I struggle with anxiety. I have had some bouts of depression, but mostly anxiety. And therapy has been so good because it kind of teaches me how to cope with it and learn. I just had to deal with the anxiety and better, you know, set myself up for success. And Better Help has been huge in.

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So I'm just going to say some statements and then you guys can guess.

What are we guessing before he tells us?

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Okay, I'll know them all.

Obviously, I'm cultured, so these are from online, so obviously I've never been to the uk, But Bob's your uncle.

Bob's your uncle.

Bob's your uncle. You're going. You're going way back, bruv. This is even my. This isn't my generation. You're going to my grandad's generation, but. All right, Bob's your uncle is like.

Wait, let me guess, let me guess.

And the job is done.

Is it, like, if the job's done, like, you finish the job.

I had to think about that one for a minute.

You got me there. That was a. I nailed that one.

But, like, in what. How did that saying even come about in Bob's your uncle?

Like, I think it's like a very cockney thing.

Oh, okay.

It always gets real.

But you love knees.

I love knees.

All right, what's the next one?

Knackered.

Knacker's drunk, right?

I thought that was tired.

Tired, yeah, I do know that one.

Yeah. Tired. When you said drunk, I was like.

Hold up, what is the word? Unless this is one of them. What is the word for drunk?

Sloshed.

What?

Sloshed. Sloshed. Is that the word for drunk?

Oh, no.

I don't know. I have no idea. Sloshed.

You can say I'm pissed.

Like, pissed.

Or like, they'll say, I'm piss drunk. Or, oh, no, I'm fucked up.

That one's just universal.

Everyone can use that.

I've had a lot of alcohol in my system recently. I think that one.

That one straight to the intoxicated.

That one's really good. I don't know what it means, though.

Chock a block.

That one sounds Australian, I think.

I don't know.

I think you looked it up on the Australian site.

To be fair, Chocolate is from Australia. Who? I asked Elliot, who is from the uk, and he said, chocolate block.

You just wanted to talk to him. So. So, Elliot, he's 6 5, he's gorgeous, and he edits for us sometimes. And then she.

Gosh, she can't know why you want to go to the UK so bad. She wants to see Elliot.

She can't. She can't wear. Why can't we absolutely put this in?

It's in now.

It's it now.

He's 65 and he's got a dream boat of an accent. You can get in There. And it's fine.

You actually won't call him and just tell him?

That's not why I asked him.

You're also here with a love guru. He can help you.

True.

Do you have anybody in your life that could. Okay, we don't want to say this. Nobody's been between her knees for three.

Years and she just is not true.

She's just trying to figure out how.

To get dry spells Sometimes. We have nine year dry spells.

See, I don't.

I got. Jesus went his whole life without having sex. So.

Yeah, think about that.

That's what he did. I'm just not dating right now.

No, because. Because there's no guys in your life.

But this.

He says he has so many guys he can introduce you to. Aren't you excited?

Some in la, some in the uk.

Oh, then you can finally do your bucket list.

Yeah, you prefer to pretend they're from the uk.

Did you say you prefer the uk?

Yeah.

What, are you gonna catch a red eye there every Saturday?

Listen, I love my alone times.

What do you love more about their species than ours?

I feel like.

I've never been there. I don't know what they look like.

I feel like. Like with the act, I could just be getting yelled at like crazy and I'd still be like, fine.

You don't slot.

Like, I just come over here before.

I beat the hell out.

Yeah.

And right now you're horny.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh.

Kidding.

Don't mean. Don't mean to derail the conversation. The other night, we. Two nights ago, we took edibles and we were hanging out in the hot tub. You know how Alyssa. Alyssa was losing her mind. She was high as shit. She told me yesterday she was so horny in the hot tub.

She was like.

She was touching our knee. It was a crazy.

Yeah, she was playing footsie with us.

Yes, you were.

Oh, my God.

And we're both in committed relationships, and you.

And we're going in the hot tub again tonight. So can I ask you. Obviously. Good looking guy, beautiful accent, been on a hit show. I assume you have a lot of horny women coming towards you, but yet you don't want to. Like, how do we politely turn her down? And she's drunk and horny, so she's persistent.

I'm good, darling.

Okay.

Beautiful.

But that's gonna turn on more because of the accent.

You don't have the accent.

Yeah, we don't want to break her nose because that's her favorite feature, so. All right, we'll think about it. We'll think about it. We'll. We'll workshop. Those are really good points. Definitely kick woman if you can. Is what you said. Swift, no matter what.

And then you run away. So there's no, like, you know, but.

I'm trying to enjoy the hot dog, you know, I don't want to get.

Oh, you're in the hot tub.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think about. She's got.

This is more like on the road situations I'm talking about.

But I see this girl, she's got bubbles, so her hands can go anywhere and without anyone else seeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You shut her up like this, and you'd be like, you're making me feel mad uncomfortable.

Yeah, yeah, that's good. You are making me feel mad. I am so mad. I'm so uncomfortable.

I would just like to point out I wasn't horny in the hot tub.

That's what you said verbatim.

That's what you said outside the hot tub. Makes sense.

Yeah. I like when you get high. You just feel a little like you see goosey.

That's not what you said.

You said my gas. You said my gas feels jolly.

No, no, he didn't say that either. But you did say. You said, hey, I took the gummy last night. I was so horny. You said that verbatim. So horny.

And we spent a majority of the time in the hot tub, so.

And you spent a majority of that time in the hot tub touching my knee.

He's almost kind of in a relationship.

I am in a relationship.

Yeah, he's so be cool.

I didn't think that would get brought up.

Just say sorry to Miguel. Say sorry to Miguel and go to the next word.

Sorry, Miguel.

There we go.

What's chocolate?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Even I don't know that one, bro.

It means something's really busy.

Yeah, yeah, it came to me.

Chocolate.

It's real chocolate.

Everybody whispered it.

Chin wag.

Oh, where is your friend?

Okay, this one was from online.

Chin wag is like, you're chatting a lot. Like. Or like, if you say, I want to have a good chin waggle, I want to have a good conversation.

But these aren't. These aren't new ones. These are 18th century ones.

This is like King Henry VIII dropped these.

But they were good back then.

These were first edition.

Do you have any that we should. That are more current that we can try to guess?

I don't even throw slang around like that. I can't lie. You said chunda Chanda is like, yeah, you know what it is? It don't feel like slang to me. Like, it just feels like you open up a dictionary and it's in there. Chunda.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. That's our bed.

Like, John is like, shorty a John.

Is it J, A W, N?

I do not know how John's a guy.

Like, I think. I think it'd be like, J, A W, N. We'll spell it like that. Why not?

Come here, you John. Come here, John. Come here, you little John.

I'm with my bird. Like, that's, like, my girl.

That's what everybody used to call her growing up. So maybe they were just English today.

No, there's a running joke here.

No.

That I have a large nose. No, speak.

You don't have a large nose.

Exactly. And that's why I didn't say anything when they were making this joke.

You're the perpetrator.

I'm not a perpetrator.

You were sitting in the hot tub last night doing this.

No, I wasn't. I shut it up because I was.

Every time she turned her head, calling her Phineas.

Actually, yeah, that just came out of you right now.

I thought of it when he did that.

I don't even know who Phineas is.

Phineas and Ferb.

Oh, yeah. Similar.

She was trying to touch your little Ferb, huh?

You don't watch TV at oldie.

Oh, I watch tv. I just have.

No, he watches, like, Ice Road Truckers.

No, no, no, no. I watch.

He watches January 6th rerun videos.

Highlights is what?

Highlights.

Highlight.

I like how she saved you. Even though you're the biggest proponent of making fun of her. She goes, he would never. He's a good guy.

She really wants to take you on a date.

No, I don't.

What's wrong with him? If. What's.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay. This is fun. What's the least dateable quality about everyone in the room, including Miguel? Go.

That is like.

We're just trying to be cool here.

I want to hear this.

Yeah, we want to hear this.

Okay. You two, my bosses.

Okay, that could be hotter in some.

You can only. You can only use that.

That's a promotion right there.

Exactly.

You can only use it for one of them, though, so you have to come up with another for somebody.

Give me boss, please.

Okay, boss. Girlfriend.

What the.

But if you didn't have a girlfriend, aren't you almost not going to have a girlfriend soon?

What are you talking about?

I don't know. Just throwing things out there, Skyler.

Girlfriend. Girlfriend.

No, you can Only use.

You already use girlfriend things that you viscerally hate about them.

That was crazy. There's a few things I can say on you.

That's crazy how he talks to me.

How do I talk to you?

But you, you just develop a British accent and you're fine.

You're. I know.

Well, here's the thing. I don't talk to you. Number one, I try not to talk to you.

Oh, that's what you're talking about.

That not lack. Not talking is the lack of talking to you. You just want me to talk to you more. So you do like me?

No, I. When you do talk to me, it's like, what if I said hell up?

No.

Those are all jokes.

Typically, dude, that's the first thing he says to me in the morning.

Hey, bruv, if you're gonna be rude to this John, I ain't gonna be with it. I don't.

That was very awkward. Same hands.

I think I threw up a gang sign. I think I threw up against on accident at the end there. And I want to apologize to whatever gang it is.

We'll blur it out.

No, no, keep it there.

Okay.

In case it's a cool gang. You never know. Like, what if you're like. This guy's pretty sick. This guy. I'll bring snacks. Dude, if I was in a gang, bring him in. That's the thing about gang culture. They don't want me because of whatever reasons. But I would show up with snacks. Like little, like, I mean, oranges. What are those things called? Tangerines. Yeah, the cuties.

They. There'd be like a gang on gang interaction. And then when they finish, you'd be on the side. You just have Capri Suns and like Twinkies for everybody. Like, you're a rec league coach. Yeah.

Dude. If there was a gang in UK and a gang in US and they're just going at it.

I think that's called the Revolutionary War one.

And.

Oh, baby. And we won.

I would think I would pick us because. Because in UK there's not as many guns there.

Right.

It's more.

I was gonna say one's bringing swords, one's bringing guns. We're dead.

It.

Here's the thing.

We're just there getting shot.

Here's what's fun. I. I would rather get shot than get hit with a machete.

Absolutely.

Why the do they have so many machetes?

That's a good question.

I don't know. I'll see people fighting. I'll say. I get. I get Dark parts of Twitter. And I'll see people fighting with machetes. Gross. Have you ever watched it?

No.

It's bad.

Don't you got, like, zombie knives as well? Have you seen those?

Are they, like.

They're, like, jagged.

Yeah.

You stab someone, you're pulling out guts like, as.

Oh, my God.

There's some. There's some really crazy people out in London.

All this for a crumpet?

A couple sugars.

Are knives like that, like, as easy to get as guns are in America?

I mean, just go Tesco, bruv.

Okay. Or Costco so that they don't have any limits on, like, you can't buy.

I mean, I think now they got like an age. Like. Like you have to bring an id. Okay, well, that's.

Just.

Go to your mom's kitchen.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

But that's not any steak knife.

Dude.

If I'm in a knife, find somebody who's got their mom's knife. I'm going to be like, dude, you're so lame. As they stab me, I do get a little less threatened by the UK accent. Like, I'm more enamored by it. So I feel like if while I'm getting stabbed, I might fall in love. That's what I'm worried about.

And love is pain.

Love is blind.

Sorry, wrong show.

Love is island.

Love.

His island mate.

This land.

Love land. Jared, what was your favorite episode that he was on? What was your favorite part that happened?

Oh, man.

We're going to go around the room. Don't worry.

You know, just when he showed up to the island.

I can't.

You can't pick up.

He showed up to the villa as a bomb. Bombshell. Is that what they're.

I told you that.

No, you didn't. John.

Shorty, I will say.

And listen, come off right.

We.

We don't. I did look up, like, the. The Love Island Wiki or whatever. Hold on. It's in here. It's in here somewhere. I. And it had kind of like, like a pinpoint based on the day of, like, what actions happened with you, like whether you won or lost a game or whatever. And I did notice an interesting pattern. We don't have to talk about this if this is going to get you in trouble with Leah. But on day 20, you left her and recoupled with Sierra. But then on day 24, you chose to leave Sierra and recouple with Leah. What was the thought process there?

Oh, my gosh. I didn't know this happened.

I ain't going to lie. When I, when I went in to Love Island, I was still very like, what's the likelihood of me being able to actually find love on a show? I mean. Yeah, so like I was very much open minded to still get to know other people. When I met, when I was with Leah, it was literally just like two days.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, so I was like, okay, let me still do what this thing is about and like get to know this other girl too. And I ain't gonna say too much in trouble, but I was, my mind was stuck on one person.

Ah.

And this, that thought was before I even left Casa.

Okay.

However, I made my bed shout Serena. So I was like, okay, let me, you know, bring it back and see what happened and see like where my head is at when I go back. And when I went back, I was like, yeah, I fucked up.

What's the biggest thing you've learned about Leah since you've left the show?

That woman's got drive. She's got hella drive. Like, she motivates me heavily.

What? Yeah. What is, I guess her next step and your next step or what is. What does she want for you guys?

Well, I know we want to move in together like properly, so get a dog, you know, saying so we want to find a place, you know, so I want to get my paperwork sorted out and actually like sort of my residency and be able to stay out here like indefinitely. Also I want, I got like some projects and businesses that I'm going to start up as well. So I'm working on those. So just being able to make a solid life together, I think that's just a next step really. Like just making everything work.

That's awesome.

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What are the most fun parts and the most challenging parts of having such a public relationship?

The fun parts, I guess, is like, we've been blessed with the opportunities to go and see things and do things that we wouldn't do before the show.

Yeah.

I mean, and you get to do them together. It's not like, it's not like one person's feeling left.

I haven't been apart since I got. Since I got here. Like, literally, like, we've been living together like the last. Yeah, literally, like three months now. The worst parts, probably like, Twitter.

Twitter's a dark place. I try to stay away from that corner of the Internet.

If the devil was anywhere, he's in Twitter.

Yeah, he's there. Deep.

I literally told her, like, yo, delete that shit bad, bro. I like, I'm pretty, like, strong minded, but there's a couple days I look at it, I got a tear on them. You don't even know me, literally, bro. I've seen some of the, like, funniest, like, people thought I was Mexican for the longest time.

Well, you were in Mexico getting drunk.

So I was in Mexico, but getting drunk. To be fair, maybe I am.

But if you ever want to feel better, like, if you're ever online reading bad stuff about yourself, the. The best site to go to. If you're feeling bad, to go to Reddit.

Oh.

If you ever feeling bad and you want to feel good about yourself, crazy as well, head over. Yeah, don't go there. It's even darker.

I just stay on Tick Tock.

That's Tick Tock is a vibe so safe, you know.

Scary though, because that's a dopamine boost, bro. You'd be on that bitch, like for an hour.

Like, oh, my God, it's midday.

Next thing I know, it's 9:00pm I'm like, me, I just been in bed all day.

Reddit's bad because they're like, they'll air.

Your face into a beheading. Well, they're.

They're just like.

And you're like, ah, this isn't good.

They're. They're like the most disabled detectives you can find. Like, they don't know how to. Like, they act like they're detectives, but they're dumb, as you know.

I'm saying, you don't even.

What are you talking about?

There are some detectives out there, though.

There are some they'll get to the bottom of.

I've been surprised. Something that I found. I'm like, damn, really? How the hell did you get that, bro?

That's my bad. I run your. I run it. What does your family think of the newfound popularity?

I don't think my mom really knows too much about it to be fair. Like, she's really, like, not that in tune with social media. Every, like, information she gets is just from her friends. But, yeah, my dad is, like, the biggest fan. Really? I know that for sure. Like, my dad is like, hey, just.

Throw me what you don't want. Why?

My dad has Tick Tock. But my dad has Tick Tock. I don't know why. And Instagram, and he's got it all, but he don't post nothing, but he just has it there.

Oh, he's just lurking, bro.

Lurking. Reposting images. Like, I'm like, he'll be reposting my video videos. Reposting, like, fan videos and stuff. Like, he'll be in the comments. Like, I was out of the gym for ages and he was there to, like, comment. Like, when you gonna get back in the gym? Now you're egging on everybody else. And I've got people in there saying, like, miguel's lost it. He's like, he's like, lost his dick.

Could have just texted you individually. He's like, no, no.

He's like, people gotta know.

Yeah, everybody. Come on.

He knows damn well what he's doing.

Yeah. I taught him better than this.

Yeah. Like, I feel like, I'll be honest, I haven't really spoken too much about it with them. Like, I know they're proud. I know they're like, they're just like, you know, maximize what you've been given because last short. And so can this. This whole. This whole, I guess, fame thing be as well? So just like, maximizing the opportunities and that's kind of what I'm trying to do right now as well. But, yeah, they're proud.

Good. Do you have a. Another Segment you want to bring up?

Sure.

Don't say sure. She doesn't want to be here.

Were you done with it idioms or did you have.

I have more.

I mean, give us one more. We'll see if they make sense.

I'm trying to think of, like, what would.

Let's see what Shakespearean slang she's got to do.

We call it the thespian thug.

Chuffed.

Chuffed.

Is that just like bothered chuffed?

It sounds like it's like, chafed.

Oh. What you've experienced.

Oh, not often.

Isn't it like friction burn shape?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a thigh thing. Thicker guy, thigh thing.

I don't think thicker guy, thigh thing.

Get that all the time.

The sentence was I'm chuffed to bits.

Like, oh. Like, I guess it's kind of like when someone sends you a compliment. Oh, I'm chuffed.

Like you're blushing.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. That is the complete opposite of what it sounds like.

I think it says I'm very pleased. So, like, chuff feels like when you're.

Like, erect outside of a Sonic or something. Like when you're hard in a drive through.

Dude, right now you just gave me.

A whole new meaning. I think that actually makes more sense.

To be f. Is it for the food, though, or is it for the person work? Like, you hear their voice over the intercom. You're like, that got me chuffed. Or is it the burger?

I think it's all of it. I think it's anticipation of what's coming.

It could be a beautiful dame. They call them that here. And then they have to eat a burger. Did you play sports growing up?

Yeah, I did a lot of sports. I was into. I did. I started out doing, like, tang sudo, then I did jiu jitsu, and then I got into, like, boxing, and then I got into Muay Thai and Muay Thai. Like, I a bit heavy. I've been actually trying to find a Muay Thai gym out here, but y'all don't really have too many of those.

I mean, sometimes I perform Muay Thai in my garage.

Yeah, I saw the punching back, dude.

A couple of guys with their shirts off, we can just hang out.

Oh, yeah.

Drink some Mai tais. Whatever. You said whenever you played Hogwarts, how did you score?

I was. I was a catcher for this niche.

Yeah. Oh, really? That's a. That's a hard position.

I know, I know. But I'm quick with it. You know what I'm saying? So I'll be on that brim and I'll be swinging around. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that's what I heard. I heard you do be on that broom swinging around. So that's pretty cool.

That's really crazy. I said that in it.

What?

That's really crazy. I said. Eric, go back. Actually, I was playing Hogwarts Legacy recently.

Oh, yeah? How is it with that game?

Heavy, bro.

Is it good?

I haven't. I haven't finished it.

It's good.

I'll fuck with that game.

I haven't played. I. I think it was like the Order of the Phoenix game on like PlayStation 2 or something. Oh, that.

That's like so good.

I loved that game. I sucked at that game. I could not do, like, the wand movements on the controller to save my life.

There was a. Yeah, and they had like the. They had a Quidditch game as well. I used to play. That was fun.

They just came out with a new Quidditch game.

Really?

Yeah, I've been playing it. It's hard as fuck, though. And I wouldn't. Especially when you're high, you can't. It's.

Yeah.

The control. It's a nightmare.

Drooling. Just, like, hoping we're concerned for you.

With which part?

You've been getting too high too recently.

Alyssa was horny, trying to jerk everyone off in the po. I think I was fine.

Okay, okay, okay. But two things can be true. You can be getting high too much. She could be trying to jerk off too many people.

All the above.

Not high today.

But you're going to get.

No, I'm not. We talking about tomorrow's Monday.

You get high every night.

No, I don't.

Yes, you do.

Number one, I got to drive to the airport tonight. Not high.

That's how you know you're in a committed relationship. How far away is the.

Fuck me, dude? 50 miles?

Even further than LAX, Santa Ana Airport. I feel like knowing you, you're going to pop a gummy when you pick her up and try to beat it home.

Try to do that sometimes. Have you ever drunk drove in your life?

Me?

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't. I don't. I don't. It's not good. I haven't done it a long time, but I have done it. And it's not safe.

Do you think you're good at it?

As good as you can be? I mean. Yeah, I think I'm pretty good.

Okay. Because I'm just wondering. See, I'm looking at all of us. We could all be changa.

What are we drunk, Chandra?

I don't know. We could all be drunk together, and we need somebody to drive us out.

Oh, I would do it in case.

Of an apocalypse happens. You got it.

Yeah, do it. You're gonna. You're gonna bail me out if I get pop. Like, if I get arrested for di. You're gonna get.

You're not gonna get arrested. This is zombie apocalypse.

Oh, zombie apocalypse.

Yeah.

I can definitely get us out of here.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

You're talking, like, just going to Costco or something.

That. That is such a funny premise for a movie, though, is. You know, we have. We're doing a podcast. We have wonderful. Miguel from, like, a dating show comes on, and then a zombie apocalypse hips. And we're like, we don't even really know each other. We got to all kind of survive. I got to raise a puppy.

Like, everyone's got a lock in real quick. Family in a moment.

Like, can I be honest? The puppy we'd keep for a few months, but it probably turned into food. Not trying to be.

Probably, because we can't be wasting. We have rations on Lady.

I couldn't.

We're not gonna eat the.

I couldn't.

We could. We're gonna eat. We would eat Elizabeth for the.

I was gonna say. Yeah.

Whoa.

Okay, here's what we'll do. We'll all be asleep one night, and they'll hear the truck crank up, and it'll be me, you, and Lady Mae driving off, just hammered again.

You get pulled over. Zombies. They're like, nope, it's just a Tuesday.

Just a Tuesday.

We would have to kill you, though.

Why? I could be a great source of, like, no, no, no.

Okay.

Survival.

You can pitch to us.

Great.

Miguel can make the final decision.

You seen this at the end?

Yeah.

I feel like that's the situation that would go on.

This is exactly what would happen.

We'd have, like, one Snicker bar. Like, wake up one day. Like, all the food is gone. He's like, I was hungry.

Skyler got too high one night at the bus.

I was playing Quidditch. I got hungry.

How are the servers even still up for the game?

He's like, I don't. I fixed them. I'm so high. I was so high. I fixed the server. What could you provide to the group, though?

I can get into small places.

What? Why would we need that?

In case, like, we, like, need, I.

Don'T know, crawl in there. So we couldn't crawl into.

Well, I could get something if you'd.

Be willing to, like, go Costco and come back with supplies. Useful. No, no.

But here's what happened. You'd be like, alyssa, you gotta go to costume.

Ow. Again.

You gotta hear that for seven months in the apocalypse.

You just. We're gonna trigger to go outside.

Your arms open, you welcome the zombies, come get me.

She's gonna wake up on a raft. Like one of the pool rafts in the middle of the pool. And all the zombies gonna be around her. And we're like, ah, we didn't. We thought you wanted to swim. Yeah, we're gonna have to eat you. Thighs. Thighs.

No, but I have the like, least amount of like, like me on me compared to everybody here.

It's enough to Russian Skyler's trying so hard.

No, I'm looking at my own body. I'd have to be able to.

I gotta.

I gotta. Actually, if y'all. If we all got in a zombie apocalypse, I would probably leave the group for fear of being eaten.

I mean, you'd be the first to go. Really?

Yeah.

I would die. I'm not fast either.

What do you have next?

So I've stupid.

Oh, here we go.

There was a. You're really into fitness. So there's a fitness contest. A push up.

What? No, no, dude, we're trying to hang out with a friend. Get you. Not get you off. She's trying to play with her pearl behind the desk while we do push ups. Don't be weird. You don't be weird.

Wait, not. Not to make this political, but did you see the video?

How.

Where is this going?

Well, how do we go from playing with pearls to political?

No, but this is. This is exactly where it is. It was a video. I forget who made the video, but it was a woman who sat down with like a. Like a test group. All right? And it was all women that were pro Trump and she was reading the transcript of when Trump said, like, grab her by the pussy or whatever. And there is a woman in there that, as she was reading it, started like masturbating to the transcript of Trump talking about grabbing woman by the pussy.

What the are you talking about?

Hold on.

Did you find this, bro? It was a tick tock.

Pull this out of the rabbit hat. That was nothing to do with.

You were trying to.

He was talking about playing with her pearl behind the desk.

No, she was gonna do it. I wanted her to not do it. No, but you were trying to bring that up the best you could.

No, I wasn't. It just made me think of it because it was a crazy ass video. This woman started playing with her pearl to the transcript of Trump being like, grab him by the.

Did you jerk off to it?

No, I didn't jerk off to it.

It was like, don't be weird. We're trying to get a new friend here.

Oh, my God.

Anyway, sorry.

I thought it was just a wild.

Ass video, and if anyone else had seen it, we could talk about it.

We have.

Okay.

All right, Alyssa, push ups.

Choose push ups.

Yeah, you do. See how many you can do?

I can do, like, I can do 10.

Let's see it.

Knees on the ground or full?

Full.

Okay. All right, let's see it.

Can you really?

Yeah.

Alyssa, right here, we got a wide cam.

Really?

Yeah.

You got this.

She gets up, there's no pants. We're like, come on, Big A, here we go.

The necklaces might weigh you down.

Otherwise, it's gonna be silent.

Yeah. Everybody, nobody Talk. This is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Those are really good.

Dude.

I'm definitely gonna do a nuts. I'm just showing everybody up.

Those were really, really good push ups.

I'm clipping that and sending it to Nelson.

The last time that you tried to do push ups, well, this was, like, way before working out. Like, you, like. It was like this. That was really good. That was like, parallel. Yeah, that was really good. That was awesome. Thank you.

I'm not even winded well, kind of like, not as much as I used to be.

That was really good.

That was fantastic.

Working out.

How many you did. How many did you do on a drunk episode?

One.

Not like 40.

Yeah.

Just hammered.

Hammered, bust.

I don't think I could do 40.

I gained strength while drunk.

I took off, like, two weeks, unintentionally. And I have to. I definitely have to work my way back to that. I don't think I could do that right now.

Oh, dude. That's where I'm at right now. I just started gym again. Humbly.

Oh, my God. It's bad. It's just like, how did. Like, I was gone. I was. I did it for like 12 weeks straight on, like, a strict regiment, and then two weeks off because life got busy. And all of a sudden it's like, I'm starting from zero, literally.

I don't can make gain. It would, like, you can spend a year in the gym, make incredible gains. You lose in a week.

Yeah. It's the most infuriating thing. What.

Kind of thing?

I've been off since, like, Monday, and I can't afford to lose a lot. That's the thing I like, you guys have been working out a long time. You lose. You're off for two weeks. You lose a little bit. I'm off two weeks. I could be up 60 pounds.

Have you, have you gained any weight back?

No.

No. That's good. He was 2 60. Now he's like what, 2 10?

Yeah, like 210.

So that's £50. That's pretty good.

Yeah.

So anyway, we're not going to take our shirts off and. And perform for you. Do you have anything else?

I never asked.

Well, it felt like that. Do you have anything else?

Red flag, green flag.

Oh, yeah. Let's do it. Okay. How does it. How does it work again?

So I'm just gonna give you guys some statements and you're gonna tell me whether you think it's a red flag or a green flag.

Okay, I bet.

Okay. So I guess for you guys, you're. When your partner plays dumb, I don't mind it.

I do it upon the plays dumb.

Wait, what context?

Like in a flirt. Like, try like playing dumb to be, like, getting a guy's attention.

Oh, no. I'm like, I pretended. I don't remember. She said something.

Oh, you know, you know what that's called? That's called weaponized incompetence.

Okay.

I like being weaponized.

It sounds like a SEAL training. Good job, dude. You do a play dumb when it comes to if she uses the bathroom in the house, the puppy.

No, I haven't. With her. I do do it with. I've done it with Handsome before.

You just told me you've done that. Because you said you walked by. You're like, dude, I totally smelled it. And I walked right by and act like nothing else.

I did that with Handsome. I don't know if I've done that with her. I try. I try to listen. The thing is ever, always around when I sit, like when I see it. So then I can't come up with an excuse. I just have to. I can't turn a blind eye. But with Handsome, I would get up in the mornings, it would be down here. I would just not say a word.

And just go about your day.

Yeah.

And let the house smell like.

Yeah, but back to the.

It's his fault.

Yeah. I don't get why girls or guys will play dumb to attract someone else.

Yeah, that's a red flag.

Red flag.

Yeah.

What do you think? Alyssa goes, I'm so smart.

I think so, but I just say dumb things sometimes.

No, but you're.

You're just saying dumb things. You're not playing dumb.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just actually goes to see, like, bro, you're just actually the dumbest person I've ever actually.

Okay. So all red flag. Careless with their money.

Oh, yeah.

Red flag, red flag.

What's the next one? Like, these are murder your family. Red flag.

They think they're like the hottest thing, like their ego and like, oh, red flag, red flag. Really?

She's like, oh, really?

Oh, really?

I'm a bridge troll.

There's a difference between confidence and cockiness.

Cockiness when they're on the verge of cocky, but they're super confident.

Usually they're confident till they get drunk and then they're really cocky. I'm so hot. I got tits. You know what I mean?

That's what they say verbatim.

That's what they say. All of them.

Every single one.

We really like to lump them together.

Okay. Bases their, like, decisions in life off of astrology.

Oh, I hate that.

These are all red flags. There's not a single red flag.

They're not even debatable.

Straight near.

I would. Yeah. I've gotten in some battles like this.

Will be as a red flag. We'll go to. Loves going to sporting events with you, but she always talks about how hot the players are. That's probably. I'll take that as a green flag.

Yeah.

I want to go to the games.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And if she's lucky enough to get one of those fantastic athletes, God bless.

Then there's not much you can do at that point. You just have to applaud her.

They've made quite a jump from me to that athlete. So if they were able to do it.

Oh, that's fantastic. Oh, yeah. They really. Yeah, yeah.

That's their life.

Yeah, that's really good.

Here we go.

There we go. Red flag.

Your partner makes more money than you.

Oh, I don't care.

Yeah, I don't think it's a green flag or red flag.

Neutral flag.

Does she want me to stay home and be mommy's little helper? What does she want?

It's up to you. I mean, would that be a red or green flag for you to stay.

At home and be mommy's little helper?

Yeah.

If you did marry like a billionaire and she was like, hey, just be a stay at home dad, would you do it?

Oh, that's a good question, Isaac.

I would do it. What are you talking about?

We know you probably wouldn't do it.

Well, the kids would probably die. There'd be no dogs. No, we'd have a dog, it'd be well trained.

The kids, like, thrown up on himself. And you're just like, I didn't see it.

I'm so sorry. I didn't see it.

You feel it? You. I feel like your sperm count's not great.

Mine.

Oh, my God.

Where'd that come from?

56,000.

Oh, yeah, you got it.

Did you get tested?

Yeah.

I think they are high numbers, though, right, when you get your sperm count, aren't they? I mean, look at what the average sperm count is.

What's the sperm count?

How much sperm someone has that.

Actually, 56,000 might be extremely low.

Yeah. Because I feel like you have.

You have, like, millions in, like.

I thought it would be usual.

Yeah. A normal sperm count is between 15 million and 200 million.

6,000.

They're struggling to see one. It's a dry lake. It's a dry lake.

Oh, my God.

Dust coming.

God.

I don't understand. How do they measure a sperm count?

They have to count them.

They get 1, 2. They hire someone, and they get in there and count them all.

It's like a chopstick situation.

It's like a Keebler elf.

So you have to go and, like.

Oh, my gosh.

Like cutting rice.

Yeah, yeah.

Smaller.

So you go to the doctor, you do your thing, you give it to them.

Well, they put their hands out. You go, you finish on their hands, and then they take it back to the lab. And there's probably 10 doctors in there.

Yeah.

That way they divvy up the work. It's not all just one doctor.

Best doctor's appointments ever. Like, you just go in, jack off, dip out, like.

And they just have a little guy with an abacus just counting.

Yes.

Then he resets it.

Be really. It'd be really funny because I think they give you, like, a magazine or something in there. But it'd be really funny if they just kept you, like, the craziest stuff. That just would never get you off.

I know what. It's funny. Like, you go in and they give you. It's like gay porn. You're like, I didn't know. That's free.

Trust me.

That's for you.

Yeah, the AI. I think it's the AI. And the cameras never lies. This is what you want.

This is a safe space.

Okay, Next one has photos on their socials of their ex still photos of.

Their ex still up on their. On their gram.

Yeah.

Mad thing.

Mad thing.

No way, bro. That's nuts. That's it, bro. He's thinking about it.

I Think.

Well, I think it depends.

I think it depends on, like, how long it takes.

I love a good narrative. I want to see how she got to me. Trip.

It's like, the most memorable thing ever. I'm just gonna keep it up because of that. Like, nah, bro.

They both have their ears on.

I.

Sometimes I go back and comment on it, like, oh, this looks like a cute memory. I'm glad you didn't have it. It doesn't really bother me.

Yeah, it doesn't bother me. I don't know if it's a green flag, though.

It's definitely not a green flag if it's.

If it's over a year, then it's like a beige flag if it's under a year.

But that means they're like. They're just still thinking about the X Men. So you're just a. How often can never replace the X Men.

Where you was this rap battle that makes me think the whole time I saw you.

And We Die Young. Okay.

I wish I knew what that meant.

I didn't catch that reference at all.

What happened? He.

He played well. It's funny. He had a part in. Is it a show or a movie? It was a movie in a movie called We Die Young.

Oh, yeah, of course.

And on IMDb, his part was, like, rapper number two. But then I found another, like, casting website that had you listed as Wannabe gangster.

Yeah. For that was a wannabe gangster. You know, they actually made me write that rap like, the day before. Like, two days before.

Really?

Was it in Spanish or Portuguese?

I just went on Google Translator. I just went to Google Translator, made, like, a little rap, and then they basically merged my rap with the other guy that was there.

Okay.

And I had no idea. I don't know what I said.

It was in a different language.

Yeah, it was in Spanish.

I've heard of Spanish.

Yeah, it's out there.

It was pretty good, though. I was like. I believed it for a second. I was like, oh, this guy knows his stuff.

Yeah.

No, you're like, I have no clue what I said.

I still don't speak all that good Spanish, and I live there.

What was. What were you saying right before that?

Oh, X.

Well, the thing.

How often are you going back and, like, looking at your old posts? Because, like, I might have, like, a picture from. Of, like, my ex from high school, like, when we went to homecoming, but I'm not, like, looking back at that with fond memories.

Realistically, most y'all now know what's on their page.

All right, fine. I'LL delete.

It would be real. Like, unless it's like old and they have like old ass images like Sway down there.

If they still have Instagram filters on it, then it's okay.

Yeah, yeah.

The funniest thing is when we went to New York and the guy pulled up on the bike and you're with your girlfriend.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, I don't know if she thinks that's funny, but I thought it was funny.

Well, it was. It was funny in the moment.

Like, does she care if you say anything?

I don't know.

Maybe.

What happened?

The guy you did the questions with.

Yeah. He has a show called Dumb Hot. I don't know if you've done it. You should, you should go on it. But basically it's like, it's like a trivia game where he's like, I was trying to promote this guy's show so that.

But if you don't know the show, it's like. You called him dumb but hot.

Yeah, no, no, he tries to. His whole slogan is like, where we. It's the show where we try to figure out if hot people are more than just their looks. And he asks you like five, like semi difficult, like trivia questions. Right. But basically, I did that show last.

I'm sorry, was he. Did the guy. Is he. Did he have eye surgery?

Did he have eye surgery? Shut up. I know where you're going with this. I'm gonna. Anyway, you were on the show the last time. The last time we went to New York, we ran into him and just out of nowhere my girlfriend goes like every. She was introducing him to everybody and she goes, oh, we used to make out sometimes. And I was like, what the fuck?

I didn't know that.

And you did the guy's show.

Yeah.

You didn't dis. Like, I did his show like this.

You were. You were like a cuck for this.

Guy for a second. I was a cuck because like, I did his show.

Like, every time he tells you a question, he's like, I make that of your go.

Yeah. What the was that?

Would you prefer that? Say, cuz. Say you have a girlfriend that's still friends with someone that they used to hook up with, but there's like, they never would again and there's no. There's nothing there. Would you want her to tell you that? You guys ever. They ever did anything?

Say that again.

I was like, okay, so your girlfriend used to like, make out, hook up with somebody else, and they're still friends, but they would never do that. Again, would you want her to tell you that that used to happen or just kind of leave you?

Yeah, I'd rather know.

Okay. Okay.

It matter if you didn't tell me?

Yeah.

At some point. And then what the.

And then you're gonna be like, why did you hide this from me? And then even if you. Even if they, like, swear on their life that they would never do it again, it's in the back of your mind because they didn't tell you, homeboy.

And you just, like, I would think.

It'S like, okay, now it's gonna happen. I want to make her just think of something for no reason. Like, worry for no reason.

Yeah, I get. I get both sides.

I'm still confused. How did you get. The show took place in New York?

Yeah.

And did someone cancel that day?

Nope. Nope.

Lost minute.

I'm really. The logistics confused me a little bit, but I get it. I get it. No, I get it.

Oh, yeah. You sound like you get it.

I wasn't.

It was dumb. Okay. Dumb.

Lukewarm.

It was just called dumb.

Let's just find out if this podcast host is dumb.

How'd you do?

I think I either got 4 out of 5 or 5 out of 5.

This guy wasn't asking questions. This guy.

His questions were like, why are you in front of the camera? The guy's like, wannabe goes, okay, are.

You happy in your relationship? Oh, my God.

Imagine he just, like. Those are the questions he asked.

He just.

Just has an existential crisis.

Are you happy?

Yeah, I'm happy.

You look happy.

Oh, thank you.

We're very proud of you. Is she still moving out here?

She is still moving out here. There might be a slight hiccup, but.

She still wants the hiccup.

She's going on a podcast.

She is the maid of honor for her sister's wedding, and her sister's wedding is in May, and she basically, for, like, the wedding shower, the bridal party, whatever. She has to be back in New York. So she was going to move here in January. She essentially, if she were to move here, she would have to fly back to New York at least once a month leading up to the wedding. And so the debate she's having right now, like, financially, does it make sense for her to stay in New York, plan this whole wedding, and then move here or move here, spend thousands of dollars on rent and flights and keep going back.

Something, huh? I know. I know. She still would have to pay rent here, but. But you would. Otherwise you'd be flying out there once a month. Or every other month. Yeah, you could just pay for the flight.

I. Yeah, I could do that.

You could just be a good boyfriend if you wanted to try that.

Not to be. I don't want to. Like, put. Put that. Yeah, we don't want to, but I didn't do that.

You could treat her like a princess. Yeah.

Like, instead of. Instead of buying a flight for yourself out there, you would just be buying a flight for her to go out there.

That's. That's a great compromise. I love that idea.

So you have to convince her.

Okay, I'll wear a suit. I'll pitch it.

Yeah, well, we're gonna be in New York next week, so I'll see her then, and then we can talk. Talk about it.

Yeah, I'll call her.

You're gonna call her right now?

Well, she just texted me anyway.

Oh, did she? What'd she say?

What up, bro? You trying to see my John? That's crazy. Yeah, that's.

I thought a John was a toilet.

I think, like John and John. Like Johnny. I'm going to the Johnny.

Oh.

Or the loo.

Oh, the Lou.

I can't. That guy might. Might not. He might have had a conversation with you, and you might have made up in your head that it was.

It was filmed.

Have you seen it? Zach, what are you doing?

FaceTime? Your girlfriend.

Why?

I thought we were talking to her.

Well, we're not gonna do it here on air.

Let's just not do it. Let's just not talk about me spending money on all these flats.

I'll call her later.

No, I'll buy the flight problem.

Do you have another one?

I really want to show this one because Jared put in there, and it makes me laugh. They drink cow's milk.

I think that's a great regular milk. Yeah.

These ain't really red flags. It's just like, do you like her because she did this?

He comes on, he's like, you guys.

Don'T know how to play.

I don't allow cow milk or any. Any animal produce whatsoever.

Are you really?

No, I'm not.

She was a vegan for 10 years until she started working here.

Really?

Yeah, really.

We corrupted her.

Yeah. My first thing of meat was. No. They made me eat my first steak. We didn't.

Don't say made you. We off the whole steak.

No, because I remember clearly. I. We were at the Georgia football game, and you cut me off a piece of the steak, and I just sucked on it because I didn't. I know that sounds weird, but I.

Like this Is like the hot tub situation.

I just like Frisky. I just like the juice. I like the taste of it.

What edibles you lot be taking?

That was ketamine.

I didn't want to eat it because we had a flight the next day and like, God forbid my stomach acted up without having meat in 10 years. So I didn't eat it.

I have the morning off the pills.

Yeah. And so I just had. I think my first thing was like, Dave's hot the other day.

Oh, sorry. Let's just call.

Is my girlfriend calling you now? She probably thinks I died.

Okay.

So we figured out the whole fiasco.

Okay.

You moving out here. Okay. Okay. So instead of. So Jared would have to fly to see you anyway. So he's just gonna buy your flights for when you have to go to New York. Wow, that's very rich of him. This is Miguel. Hey.

How you doing? Are you happy in your relationship?

I am.

I'm so happy.

Sure.

Don't try to steal my girl, man. Why are you questioning me right now?

No, no. We. We were talking about you. And then. Because then he's like, she might not come out here for a little bit. So we were just. We were game planning. But we thought we were.

Don't say we. I. Skyler.

Skyler. Game plan this.

I had an idea.

I agreed.

Okay.

Miguel was here anyway, so he's going to pay for your flights back and forth. That way you don't have to worry about that.

Okay.

That's really rich of him. I would.

That he and I should probably have that conversation.

That's what I said.

I appreciate the.

He's going to get in trouble now.

I'm going to get in so much trouble. I've never been in trouble before.

Like, hey.

I like how Zach's still in the hole.

You don't have to debate this right now.

Okay? We'll talk to you later. Okay, great.

You really here now that now she's six years.

She's gonna be super excited.

He's already in the doghouse. I can feel it.

Oh, my God.

What she said. That's a conversation me and him should have.

I've been there. I've caught one of those before. Look out. Brother's coming down the pipe.

That's a left hook when you got your arms tied behind your back.

Like, oh, man. Because we were like. We were already supposed to, like, talk about that. And then I was like, well, I think it would be better if we talked in person. And then like, we're gonna be in New York.

Next week and so you mentioned that, man.

Yeah.

So you just let me call her. That's wild.

I told you not to call her.

How's your sweater?

It's sweating.

No, I get it. I get it, man.

It's nice. Pink, fluffy.

I get it.

Kind of.

You have absolutely been a fantastic guest. I was wondering, did you want to plug anything before you head off into Leah's home?

My GoFundMe is just like, stay tuned. There's a couple of things that are coming. I don't want to say too much right now, but, yeah, I got a lot of exciting things that I'm working on at the moment, and hopefully my visa gets sorted out soon.

Not if I have anything to say about it. All right, guys, hand claps. All of his links will be in the description. Description. If you want to find him. Don't know who he is already. I assume you do. And thanks for coming on. And Alyssa, figure it out.

Bye.

Thank you. Hope you had fun.

Thank you for having me, bro.

That was vibes, huh?

You're. He set you up for failure so bad.