Transcript of Confidence Classic: Close the Perception Gap and Build Wealth Your Way with Kelly Roach

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Really highly evolved and highly successful and wealthy people, they don't have time. They don't care. So all the noise that's distracting you and all the things that are deterring you and all the things that are holding you back because you're worried about this and you're listening to that and you're paying attention to this, it's all noise that's completely irrelevant because none of those people are doing anything. They're not the people you should be paying attention to anyway. Working on yourself is so important because so many people's behavior is dictated by the I've received opinions of people that have no business having an opinion about them.

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Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here with me today, and can't wait for you to meet the business strategist, Kelly Roach. She transforms overworked entrepreneurs into seven-figure CEOs by teaching them how to leverage timeless business principles employed by billion with a B, dollar corporations, with the most powerful online marketing speed and agility strategies of today. Before starting her own company, Kelly, like your girl, was back in corporate for a Fortune 500 company. She was a VP, one of the youngest VPs in the company. During her time in corporate, she led a team of over 100 to record-breaking sales numbers, even through the '08, '09 downturn. Kelly's multimillion dollar company, the Unstoppable Entreprene program, is the fastest-growing coaching program in the market in the first of its kind. Her accountability-driven approach has been responsible for hundreds of clients finding financial freedom through entrepreneurship. Kelly is involved in working with ABC, NBC, Fox, CW. You've seen her everywhere, and she's also doing so much good giving back. She's the co founder of the Courageous brand designed to create a movement that would give young girls a competitive edge to rise to the top, break the glass ceilings, and make a lasting change globally.

She's also doing philanthropic work with one-on-one business model that cleans drinking water to those who do not have access through her Human Family Foundation. Kelly, I'm so excited to have you here today.

Thanks so much for having me.

All right. So as you're talking about offline, of course, I want to hear about your business strategies to help my listeners reach that next level of success. And I know that that's what you're out there teaching. Even today, you're out at a conference right now, your own conference, teaching a group of people and taking a break to sit here with me. I want to hear about these business tips and strategies, but it opened my eyes when we were having a conversation to hear that things have not always been so easy for you. Yes, you had a lot of success in corporate America. Yes, you have massive success as an entrepreneur, but you've really hit some low points, too.

It's been amazing. I think that in the world of online marketing and with social media, obviously, online entrepreneurs use social media to promote their brand and to grow their business. And so obviously, the focus and the goal is to show how well you're doing, to talk about what's working, to showcase all the highlights of your brand and of your life and of your business. And that's great. And it works, right? It works for all of us. But as our company went from seven to eight figures, and I began to realize, okay, I play a role in the conversation that is happening in the online space. I have a responsibility to actually let people know what it takes to build an eight-figure business, to run a team that is spanned across the United States and serve thousands of clients and all these things. I kept hearing all of these online influencers and course creators and people that have a huge voice in the online space saying, It can be easy. It's going to be so fast. You can do this overnight. I started thinking to myself, I couldn't imagine if I was a new entrepreneur that was coming up today that was working really, really hard to build my business, and it wasn't happening overnight, and it wasn't easy, and it wasn't happening at hyper speed, and it felt a little stressful along the way.

And I really put myself in the operating reality of What is the experience of the online entrepreneur that's not yet where we are? We came to the other side. I already fought all the battles and went through all the scars and the wounds and made it to the other side. But how many entrepreneurs are having depression, anxiety, thinking about quitting their businesses, wanting to give up? Because the perception online is that it's easy. You barely have to work. This is going to happen overnight for you. We all just hang out in our Lambo's and in our private jets and sit on islands. There's really no work to be done. We actually can't find anything to do with our time because it's so easy. So I just realized, you know what? I'm going to do something different here. I'm going to be a truth teller. So I just started two and a half years ago really talking about what the true experience of entrepreneurship is and telling stories of just mistakes that I've made and failures that I've had and struggles and setbacks. I feel like when you have a voice, you have a responsibility to use that voice for good.

I do use my voice for good. Obviously, I help people build widely successful business. That's what I do for a living. But there's a whole another piece of that, and that's the human element. I just want the people out there to know, like when you see Heather, and Heather, you talked about this on my show. When you see people like me that run these companies and are having this level of success, pure failure, pure failure on the way to that success. So many mistakes, so many mistakes, so many setbacks, so many moments of doubt. There's been so many times where I've shared publicly a big goal that I was setting, and then afterwards I'm like, Why? Can I put that back in my mouth? Why? Why did that just come of my mouth? It just accidentally, because I was so passionate, I said the thing out loud that no one was supposed to hear because I didn't know how to do it. I think the big thing I just want entrepreneurs to know as you build your business, that if it's going a little slower than you thought it would, or if it feels hard or you're dealing with some stress along the way, that is you building the muscles that you need to get to where you want to go.

You're not doing it wrong. You're not failing. You're actually right where you need to be learning the exact things that you said that you wanted to learn so that you can get to where you want to go. And I just want to keep repeating that message over and over again, because having crossed that bridge, what I'm seeing now, because I do coach so many people on building their businesses is it's actually a perception gap that is killing so many businesses right now. And it's the perception of what does it take to be successful versus what it looks like to be successful. And I believe that if we close that perception gap and people understand the amount of trial and error, even with mentorship, even with coaching, businesses can't be built in theory. They can only be built on the field in the trenches every day. I think if we're able to close that perception gap, I think many more people are going to make their dreams come true. And that's what my goal is.

You know what's interesting to me about what you just said, and I'm really curious how you're going to answer this. In my opinion, there's a big difference between working with someone, a hypothetical client, right? And they're saying to you, Kelly, this isn't getting off the ground. I'm trying so hard and it's not working. And you're cheering them on and trying to get them to work through these low moments. You're saying that you've had, that I certainly have had. For me, the pandemic was the biggest low moment ever. My business got crushed and disappeared overnight. So we've all been in these really delicate moments where you do consider giving up. You do say, do I trash this business and start something new? What is that difference between someone who's just way off the market? It's not going to work, or versus, Hey, you got to grind this out and push through?

Yeah, that's such a good question. I think that there's a difference between what we want to sell to someone versus what someone is interested and willing to buy. And that is a huge distinction that I see a lot of people get stuck in. They'll say, I see that this group of people really needs A, B, C, X, Y, Z. Well, guess what? If that group of people really needs A, B, C, X, Y, Z, but they don't give a crap, and they're not willing to spend their money on it, and they're not interested in solving that problem, it doesn't matter that the problem exists. It doesn't matter that your perception of the problem is that it needs to be fixed. All that matters is, is this a problem that that group of people is both aware of, invested in correcting, and willing to put their money behind? I do think, Heather, that there is times where people's passion or heart gets confused with actually making a match between market viability and desire to sell something that people are willing to spend money on. And that's where I think it's really important. You can take your passion and you can apply your passion in a thousand different ways.

You need to make sure. And that's actually why I'll give a specific example. I started the Human Family Foundation because I really wanted to do something to give back, and I really wanted to make a meaningful difference by creating an entity of my business that was very focused on service and philanthropy. I see a lot of business owners that they say, I really want to give back. I really want to make a difference. So they start selling to a population of people that they're dead broke, they're never going to be able to invest in their products for programs or services, they don't have the right mindset, they would be so much better off saying, this is charity and philanthropy. This is my business, and my business can fund me doing good in the world with this thing. But trying to take blood out of a stone with a population that doesn't... They're never going to be who you want them to be just because you want to feel in your heart that you're doing something good, it doesn't work out for them, and it doesn't work out for you.

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It's absolutely true. I think that's a place where the entrepreneur heart gets a little mixed up that we need to just clarify. For me, we build wells through Charity Water. We just funded another water project in Nepal, and we did that 100% based on book sales from the book that we launched earlier this year. I think that you can do as much good in the world as you want to as an entrepreneur. But if you're broke, it's impossible to do that. I think a lot of people have a broken mindset because they have beliefs that make them feel guilty about being really wealthy. And there are so many negative mindsets around wanting wealth, desiring wealth, loving money, enjoying being rich. Even when I just said that right now, I bet there are some people that felt a little uncomfortable with me just saying that. But you have to get over that. If you want to do a lot of good in the world, you have to have a way to facilitate that good. For me, that's always been a driving factor in my business because I came from a family that we got a lot of philanthropy and we got a lot of help from other people, and we couldn't help others because we were in scarcity.

I said myself, I'm going to be wealthy, I'm going to have money, I'm going to be rich, and I'm going to not be in scarcity so that I can do for others, so that I can give back, so that I'm on the other side of that equation. But I think as an entrepreneur, if you've been stuck at a money ceiling for a long time and you haven't been able to get past it, a lot of times it's not so much, are you selling the right thing or are you focused on the right market? I see people changing their market every other day, changing what they're doing. A lot of times Because you don't truly own your desire to be wealthy. You're not allowing yourself to actually feel good in your gut and in your heart about making a lot of money. And I think you have to change that belief before your exterior experience of life is going to be in alignment with that.

What are some of the tactics that you teach people to leverage so they can break through that limiting belief? Because as you did, I came from a family of scarcity and grew up poor. It's not that easy. It's not like flipping and switch. Tell me how you did or how you teach people to do it.

No, I agree with you. I think the first thing is that we are in a deep state of denial, usually about the beliefs. The problem is on the exterior, we say we want to be successful, we want to make money, We build a business to be successful. But on the interior, we still don't associate ourselves with being wealthy, with being rich to feel good about that idea. I think the first thing is stopping kidding ourselves and really taking the time to get aware of our own belief system. I did an exercise recently with some of my clients in one of my programs around this. What came up for a lot of them was that the beliefs were so deep deep seated, hidden underneath the beliefs that you say that you have are the actual beliefs that drive everything that you're doing. Sometimes, and the number one belief that I think prevents entrepreneurs from becoming really wealthy and really high networth, especially for women, is that they believe that making a lot of money is in conflict with being a great parent, a great wife, a family first person, all of those things. I have seen it come up over and over.

I'm talking about really successful people. You have to ask yourself, what are my true beliefs? Identify and get clear on what those beliefs are, and then ask, where did they come from? Because you mentioned something just a couple of minutes ago, you came on my show and you We're talking about making sure that you're getting advice and guidance from people that are where you want to be. Almost 100 out of 100 times when you look at a set of beliefs that you have that are not supportive of your goals, those beliefs came from someone who is not where you want to be. So if you don't want to replicate that person's results, don't replicate their beliefs. And most of us, I don't know about you, Heather, but I did not even learn about identifying and replacing beliefs until I was almost 30. I teach my daughter now, she's eight, about creating her belief system. And we have these open conversations now. But when we were growing up, this wasn't an open conversation. No one was talking about this. So I feel like for a lot of us, we're doing a lot of this deep work in the middle part of our lives, where there's a lot of our life that's really already built around this set of beliefs that we didn't even know that we had.

But the really beautiful thing about life and the really beautiful thing about being a human being with free will is that we can identify those beliefs. We can look at what the source of those beliefs were. We can ask ourselves if those beliefs are really true. We can ask ourselves if those beliefs are actually supportive of creating the outcomes that we want. And then most importantly, we can choose a new set of beliefs that do support the outcomes that we want, that are in alignment with our life, not the life of the person that gave us those original beliefs, but in line with the life that we're trying to create for ourselves. I think this is one of the most important things to do in adulthood is to create alignment between your beliefs, your actions, and your outcomes. Because usually when you look at a person that says, My life isn't on track. My business isn't where I want it to be. The things that I want to make happen just aren't happening. And you say, Well, show me your mindset. Show me what you're doing. There's no correlation between what they're doing and what they say that they want.

So if we bring those things together, it's like spontaneous combustion. Now you actually have the operating system working together to get to your goal instead of fighting against one another.

This is so powerful. I'm so grateful that you brought this up because everybody has the ability to make these changes, and it starts with just being aware. Like you said, asking yourself the questions and then identifying where it came from and letting go of that and rewriting it today. So I absolutely couldn't agree with you more. I've gone through the same thing at 47. I'm still working through. I had someone point out to me that my father, when I was 12 or 13, went out on his own and failed in entrepreneurship and went back to corporate America. And somewhere in the back of my subconscious, I was hanging on to this. And this person pointed out to me, that's probably why it was so hard for me during the pandemic. I immediately went to, wait a minute, my speaking business just disappeared. That's my number one revenue stream. Oh, my gosh, I'm failing. I wasn't finding the opportunities. I just started focusing on the scarcity. And it was not a good time in my life, but it was so helpful to say, okay, I had to hit that really low moment to realize I was still, even in my subconscious, hanging on to these beliefs that were really pulling me down.

Now I've been able to look at them and understand that for whatever reason, my father was not successful. And entrepreneurship has nothing to talk. That doesn't impact where I'm going to find success, how I'm going to find success. It's just another point of contrast in life to look at, learn from, and grow from.

That's exactly it. And I think what I would just encourage everyone to do is I think sometimes our lives are so filled with busyness that we're repeating cycles and behaviors and patterns and belief mechanisms that are keeping us treading water. And that's so exhausting. And I think a lot of times it's our internal operating system that is the number one thing that's standing in the way of getting what we want. I think the biggest thing that I've learned, especially as the business has elevated and as I've elevated, is you have to slow down. Working on yourself is the number one thing, and not just working on yourself. Because I think when you move into the world of entrepreneurship, I think it's generally accepted that you're going to read books or you're going to listen to content 10, or you're going to work with a mentor or a coach. And that's one level of working on yourself. But I'm actually talking about the deep extraction and the going within of actually exploring your thoughts and your behavior yours and your history and your why and things on a much deeper emotional level, which I think for a lot of high performers and high achievers, we're not highly emotional in how we operate, which is why we're so successful.

Because Because things don't swing us very easily. And when you're that person, you don't often slow down to examine emotions because you're not a person living in your emotions all the time. And the biggest piece of advice I would give is take time to intentionally explore and learn more about yourself and try to understand these things about yourself because it is a next level. It is a next level of performance and connection that you will be able to create with the people that you want to influence, the people that you want to serve, the people that you want to create a meaningful conversation with in the market. You can tell when you're speaking to someone who's working on themselves, who's evolving, who is growing as a human. It is evident. It is also evident. When it is a person that 15, 20 years go by, they're telling the same story. They're talking about the same lesson. They're using the same They're teaching the same darn thing. I have so many people that I lost trust in that I used to study because as I was growing, growing, growing, I saw that they weren't. I was like, Whoa, hold on a second.

I'm not attaching my wagon to a human that's not growing anymore. And that's why it's so important, especially as we're in the online space, and especially as you build a voice in the online space, everyone's going to have an opinion about everything that you do. I did a video about this lately. People are going to have an opinion about their opinion, about their opinion of their opinion of what your opinion should be about your opinion. So the thing is, is really highly evolved and highly successful and wealthy people, they don't have time They don't care. They're off running their own race. They're doing their own thing. They could give two craps about whether your sweaters blue, your shirt's too tight, your hair doesn't look good today. You shouldn't have said this on social. You should have posted about that. They don't care. They're doing their own thing. So all the noise that's distracting you and all the things that are deterring you and all the things that are holding you back because you're worried about this and you're listening to that and you're paying attention to this. It's all noise that's completely irrelevant because none of those people are doing anything.

They're not the people you should be paying attention to anyway. And that's why I'm saying working on yourself is so important because so many people's behavior is dictated by the perceived opinions of people that have no business having an opinion about them. Meet a different guest each week If you're like me, you want to feel stronger in your workouts, maybe feel like you can recover faster after working out, have more energy during your day, and want to proactively preserve your health, mobility, strength as you get older, that's definitely me.

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This is so good, and it's something that I have not talked about on the show. I hope everyone is catching this. Here's the crux of it is that I used to be in the radio business, right, forever, 25 years or something crazy. And every time that I once in a while, every few months, I get back on a call. These people I've known my whole life, but I don't talk to them every day anymore. I'll get back on a call with someone. I'm like, Oh, what's the house business? What's going on? Catch me up. It's the same conversation we had six years ago when I was in the business. All the markets tight. You know the same negative feedback back, Heather, you know what it's like. And I'm like, Wait, you're telling me it hasn't changed in five years since I've been there? Nope, hasn't changed at all. Well, why don't you change? And they look at you like you're crazy. And they're like, What are you talking about me change? This is the business. And that's when to your point, I'm like, I love you. I send you love. I wish you the best luck in the world.

But this is where I've got to... The call is ending now, and I've got to go back to my life to your point, which is like, surrounding myself with people who are taking chances, going out and learning, testing and trying, failing, getting back up. I I want to be that person at the end of my life. It's like, I didn't live perfectly, but I went for it and I grew, and I'm still growing on my deathbed today, and I'm so grateful for that. So thank you for bringing that point up.

Yeah, there's no problem.

There's way too much of it out there. All right. Another question I have to that topic you just brought up around personal brand, because I get negative feedback on this, too, is that I've been getting negative feedback once in a while. I'll bring up something about spirituality, and I hadn't done that in the past couple of years and just started doing it this year. So that's a slight change. And like anything, when you test and try something new, bringing a different part of yourself forward, you're going to get positive feedback and negative. How do you, with your brand and the presence that you have, how do you move forward when you are growing or you're opening up other sides of yourself? How do you choose what to share?

That's such an interesting thing, and I'll share both sides of it. So I'll share something that I decided to start sharing, and I'll say it's something that I have and the why behind both and how I make those decisions. For me, in the last couple of years, I started sharing about my faith and my spirituality as well, because I feel that I wouldn't be where I am in any way, shape, or form without it. I feel that if I don't include that in the conversation that I'm having with the market, it's almost like a lie because I rely on my spirituality and my faith every single day. It's a part of how I make every decision. It's a huge part of my life. When I had my lowest moments where I was praying to God and saying, I literally had moments where I was so stressed. I was like, I don't want to die. God help me. We've all had those moments, right? And so I did start sharing about it, and I was scared. I've been in business 10 years, and my first eight years, I never murmured a peep about my faith or about spirituality or God or anything.

And for the first time, just three months ago, I launched a new program where actually spirituality is an entire tenant of the program. And I said, this is going to be interesting because People will either run screaming or they'll love it. Obviously, I'm attracting the segment of the population that gets that. But the reason that I decided that I'm going to start talking about it regardless of the outcome is because I feel like I would be a lie as a human being. It's central to who I am as a person. If I'm going to be a teacher and a public figure, I think it's important to share something that is such an essential piece of that. Now, on the flip side, I do not participate in any political conversations. I do not participate in any conversations about any of the socioeconomic things that are going on in the world. I do not participate in the headlines. I do not participate in any of that. And the decision to do that I made many years ago. And it's because the moment that I step into that ring, then that takes the focus off of my purpose for being on the planet.

There are plenty of people. There are plenty of people who do that, and they do that exceptionally well. And there's people that that's actually their calling. Their calling is to lead a movement in this direction or that direction. And that is central to who they are as a person, and that is what they're meant to do. That is not what I'm meant to do. I also believe, and I've never actually had this conversation, but you asked the question, so I'm just going to be honest and say it. I think it's very dangerous, the echo chambers that are being created. I think it's unbelievably dangerous to create a false world in which The only people you allow to be in your space are people that agree with you. I personally do not want to have a client base that's one-sided. I don't want to have a group of people, whether it's my team, my advisors, my clientele, or my community, that all are the same in their beliefs, their values, and their opinions. I think that you can't learn and evolve and grow that way. And the moment that you take aside, you're basically saying no to this, yes to that.

And unfortunately, and I don't believe this, but this is the way people are, people feel that they are this or that. They can't understand the importance of valuing our country was actually founded on debate. Debate used to be a healthy, meaningful way that evolution happened. Innovation, disruption, reinvention came from debate. And now, if you have a different opinion than me, well, we must hate each other. Block You're blocked. People are so proud to share online how I'm blocking everyone that I don't like their posts today. And I'm like, But how does that positively contribute to us moving forward? And so to give both contrast of that, this does not affect who I am, what I do. The next headline on the news today, not going to change my behavior, not going to change my business, not going to change what I'm doing, not going to change my calling, not going to change. Every cycle that we go through, everyone thinks it's the end of the world for this or it's the beginning of the world for that. And it's like, at the end of the day, it's all what you do. It's you owning your own behavior.

So I'm not going to participate in that. I won't participate in that. Well, on the other side, I knew there's a risk bringing faith in God into the conversation. I know not everyone will like it, but I am not willing to remove something that is so central, I believe, to everything that I've been able to accomplish in my life.

Oh, wow. We're so aligned on this. It's so funny. And thank you for being so transparent about that. What you were just talking about reminds me of the movie, The Social Dilemma, on Netflix, guys, if you haven't seen this movie, go check it out. But it's really all about, to Kelly's point, that the more confirmation bias, the more that we only look for people that are white, that speak this way, that only like these kinds of people, and we surround ourselves with these people, we were signifying to social media that we only want to be fed those kinds of people. It really starts brainwashing ourselves into there is only one way of thinking there is only one truth. And then to your point, there is no longer healthy debate. There's fighting and anger and blocking. And I've even seen it my own family so much. I will not engage in any type of political conversation with my birth family anymore Because they literally want to have a drop-down, drag-out fight over it. No one's going to win. We're not going to change who the President is in this conversation. So I don't really understand what's the point.

I'll take that 30 minutes back in my life and go do something a little bit more productive. So I'm so with you on that. Kelly, tell us a little bit about your show, which I recently was a guest on. I would love to hear because you are blowing it up with your podcast.

Thank you. Yeah. So the Kelly Road Show, we're at almost episode 830 now. And it's just something that to me, it's part of my legacy. It's something that I just want to leave behind. It's like writing a book. I write books as well. And I do 20 minutes segments. So it's short, powerful. It's a punch to your day. It's mindset, it's strategy, it's how to build a brand that stands out online with integrity. I love pouring my soul into it. I feel like it's a gift that I can give to people. And I love so much to do the show and have great conversations, obviously. I was so lucky to have you on the show, Heather. But it's just a place to come to get that kick in the pants that you need sometimes or the mindset lift or maybe the strategy breakthrough that you've been looking for that you haven't quite figured out yet on your own.

I'll tell you, I made a decision at the beginning of this year to no longer listen to music in the car and to only listen to podcast and audible books so I can constantly be learning because I live in Miami and the traffic, well, you know. I mean, the traffic out here is clinically insane, right? In South Florida. So that one simple pivot and change accessing shows like yours and starting to expose myself to different ways of thinking and knowledge has completely transformed my life this year. And for everyone listening, you know that. So find ways, guys, the next time you're in the car, if you're vacuuming your house, to put her podcast on, give it a shot, and start up-leveling yourself. You all have time within a day. You just need to find it, commit to it, and make it a priority, and it will change your life. Kelly, how can everybody find you?

Yeah, well, I would say, absolutely start with the show. That is the number one place to go because you will just get in there and it's like going shopping for free. There's 800 episodes, scroll through, pick a place to start binging and just go. Kelly Roach official on Instagram. Hopefully, Instagram gives me my account back because right before this show, they They nabbed it, but AI, I'm sure it will be back. Kelly Roach official or you can find me. I'm everywhere. Just Kelly Roach.

All right. Well, check her out on LinkedIn, too. She's got amazing content. Kelly, thank you so much for the work you're doing. Thank you so much for being a woman that supports other women, and thank you for being here. Thanks so much.

I decided to change that dynamic.

I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing.

Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while.

You could miss it.

I'm on this journey with me.