Transcript of Baptism of Fire | 2

April 1942, four months after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. An old British ship slowly edges through the waters off the Coast of modern-day Sri Lanka.

The SS Sagane, a decrepient old rust bucket, eking out a living. Until the onset of the war had bought her a reprieve.

Right up on the bridge of the ship, with the best view of everything, Junior Third Officer, 18-year-old Dugal Robertson. He's on look out.

All clear, Captain.

On board, precious cargo. His girlfriend, Jessie, and their toddler, Duncan. They're on the main deck.

I watched as Jessie appeared, carefully holding young Duncan, his golden curls, crowning his smiling face.

Families aren't usually allowed on board, but just this once, the captain has turned a blind eye.

Jessie's bright blue kimono flapped in the wind as she tried to control her long black hair in the blustery sea air. She helped her little boy wave at me. I waved back until they disappeared from view.

In the depths of the ship, more precious cargo.

Fighting aircraft, ammunition, mines for the Allies.

And that makes them a target for the Japanese.

We'd been forced close in shore in a deadly game of cat and mouse.

Then he spots something through the cloud.

Bridge, starboard look out, zero fighter aircraft. My blood ran cold as I saw the unmistakable a glint of metal in the sky.

Take cover.

A second later, the sickening wine of Japanese aircraft.

Dugal is thrown to the deck. The front of the ship has been badly hit.

I squinted into the sun just as the first of three aircraft banked sharply to the left and disappeared into the glare. They were coming back to bombers again. They weren't finished. I had to find Jessie and Duncan. I jumped clear of the bridge as machine gun bullets tore into the ship all around me. The floor was tilting under my feet. I ran to the open decks when I last saw Jessie and Duncan. I crouched low. The planes passed over me, spitting fire with deadly accuracy. Another massive blast deep within the ship where all the explosives were stored. A choking, blinding fog rapidly covered the entire ship, billowing black clouds of impenetrable, acrid, suffocating smoke. One last frantic dash brought me to the deck.

A scene of utter devastation.

A tower of smoke reaching thousands of feet into the sky. Panic-stricken crew poured onto the decks, some with strips of flesh torn from their arms legs. I gulped the air in shallow rapid gasps. My greatest fear, suddenly a reality. Jessie lay face down. I dropped to my knees, slumping over her lifeless body. Don't leave me, my love. I did not want to let her go, but for my sweetheart and the dearest mother of my son, it was already too late. Then my eyes caught sight of a bundle.

My son.

My son. His white face frozen in his moment of death. His blonde carols turned black with blood. In the blink of an eye, my life had been changed forever. I turned my head towards the clouds. My heart full of hatred, I screamed at the heavens. I would never forgive the Japanese.

This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast, produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan.

Episode 2, Baptism of Fire. Thirty years later, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Dugal sits in the life raft and thinks about those events half a lifetime ago, watching that ship go down. And now he's lost another love, another son. Lynn and Douglas are missing, probably dead. Dugal doesn't know if he can go on. I'm so cold. I'm so cold. But he has to for his other kids, the twins, Sandy and Neil. They need him now more than ever.

It's going to be all right, boys.

He holds them close. He feels their little bodies shaking and shivering. Dugal is shattered, traumatized. His desperate swim to the raft has taken every last ounce of his strength. It's all right, my boys.

I struggled to bring myself under control. Wave after wave of seconding fear gripped my soul.

My dad was in shock.

He was lost for words. Just sitting there.

Dugas thinking, What next? They're lost in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in a tiny life raft. Dugas also managed to salvage a three-person fibre-glass dingy which he attaches to the raft.

My watch would tell us the time. But apart from that, we had no compass, no charts, no instruments of any kind.

He will have to rely on his skills as a master mariner, using the stars, the sun, the winds, and the sea currents. That's all he has. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Dugal sees something moving in the water. Dugal pulls the twins away from the edge of the raft.

Finally, the whales had returned to finish us off.

But it's not the killer whales.

Like a glorious miracle, Lynn suddenly burst through the surface of the water right in front of my eyes.

Dugas clutches his wife's hands.

I was not going to risk losing her again.

He hauls Lynn into the raft, hugging and kissing her.

Grateful yawned once that she was alive.

On Lynn's neck and chest, cuts and terrible bruising. She was only wearing her nighty when they sank. Now it's torn shreds. She looks around.

Where's Douglas?

They don't know, and the wind is carrying the raft away from where the Luzet went down, carrying it further from where Douglas disappeared. Dugal is stealing himself to tell the twins that Douglas is gone. Douglas. Douglas. Douglas.

Douglas. Son. My son. Dougie.

Dugald grabs hold of his arms and drags him into the raft.

My mom was so pleased to see me. She said, Dougie, Douglas. My boy. And she hoped me.

My beautiful boy.

I'd still got my legs. I hadn't been attacked by the killer whales. I was so grateful to be lying inside that raft.

He looks up at all the faces, looking down at The twins are there.

My dad's there. My mom's there. We're all alive, all looking at each other, scared, in shock. And there we were.

The first moment of calm since the horror of the attack. They've all survived for now.

We started to recount our stories, trying to piece together what had happened.

Douglas tells them how he'd been waiting to be eaten by the killer whales, but when he saw the raft, he just swam for it, swam for his life. Lynn, shivering, hugging the twins, says when her nighty got caught on part of the Luzet, she was trapped, tethered to a sinking ship.

She was going down with the boat.

She was dragged deeper and deeper, under the waves.

And she was holding her breath and holding her breath and holding her breath.

Lynn was frantic. She pulled again and again on her nighty. And then...

It rips. And she broke free.

But the joy of being alive, of being together is short-lived.

You're cast to drift in a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and you I haven't got a chance in hell.

What's going to happen to us, dad?

I remember Neil crying.

Lynn stares at her husband, who is still barely able to speak.

The burden of guilt, remorse, and response of mobility must have been unbearable for him. He looked gray and utterly exhausted.

Lynn is blaming herself, too. She shouldn't have given in to Dugal's absurd dream.

But I loved Dugal. That's why I was here. I'd put him before our children's lives, put in them at risk. And now I was going to pay.

She holds Dugal's hand and says quietly, If we only do one thing, Dugal, we must get our boys back to land. But Dugal knows the truth. The life raft is old and it's already leaking. A storm could flip it over in seconds.

Remember how cold it was?

And beneath them, predators are circling.

My mom said, Dugal, tell us the truth. Are we going to die?

October 1970, a year and a half earlier.

Sandy, hand me the boat. Douglas, don't just stand there. Go and give me a hand.

Probably one of the saddest days of my life, to actually move away from the place you loved.

That must have been really hard.

It was. It was terrible because That was our life. There was no outside interference. That was our life.

The Robertsons have sold the farm and everything they own, and they've had to give away their dog.

That dog knew. And he wimped and howled. He knew. He knew.

Eleven-year-old Sandy watches from the back window of the car as his old life disappears.

The Luzet, the family's new home, is anchored in Falmouth Harbor in the southwest of England. It's an aging wooden boat. It feels tiny after the space and freedom of Meadow's farm. Douglas is 16.

It was cramped.

And daughter Anne is 17.

It was bloody uncomfortable.

You banged your head on the bloody doorway. You had to duck underneath the boom.

Tiny, tiny.

No escape.

A completely different way of living. I was not impressed, I've got to say.

But this is it. This is their new home, and they're going to have to get used to it.

But now the shipping program.

They're ready to go. But the only thing stopping them is the weather.

October, November, December. Living on this boat.

And it's driving them crazy.

We hadn't sailed an inch yet.

One day, the Robertson children notice a large boat moored up from Iceland, and they spot some other kids, the same ages. They start playing together. Come on over to our boat. Our boat's better than your boat. And they soon discover they have something in common.

We're going to sail around the world. Yeah, so are we. We're going around the world.

Let's play hide and seek. Let's play hide and seek. Hide and seek.

Suddenly, here was another family as crazy as we were. Leo, you're it.

Okay, I'm closing my eyes.

We struck up a friendship. Ready or not? Here I come. We were like one big family.

Dad, Siggy, gets on well with Dugel despite their differences.

Siggy was a nice, kind man. Quite a contrast to my dad, who was a rough and ready, ferocious, fearsome man.

Do you like an odd drum of whiskey, Siggy? Here, pass me a question.

Boys, don't eat all the potatoes.

And while they wait for better weather, the families spend long evenings over dinner swapping stories.

Anyway, Siggi, we just got in to Port in Hong Kong. What an amazing place.

I loved it. That's where I met Linda.

It was gorgeous then. That was for the day's date.

All right. Siggy and his wife, Eta, have noticed something. The Lucet is missing a crucial bit of kit, a life raft. As luck would have it, they have a spare one, so they offer it to Dugal, but he's adamant he doesn't need it.

Dugal said, The best life boat we've got is the Luzet itself. I mean, the boat's not going to actually sink.

Siggi says, I'm not giving it to you, Dugal. I'm giving it to your wife and children.

What did your dad say then?

He had no choice. He had to take it.

What did your mom say?

My mom was very grateful. I think my mom knew the frailty of life. Wind, west of the 4 to 5, occasionally backing southwest of the 3.

27th of January, 1972. Fair with occasional sunny heat. Finally, after months of waiting, the wind turned.

The tide was right, the wind was right.

And Dugal decided it was now or never.

They've got all their supplies, and Dugal smuggles some luxury items on board.

A couple of bottles of whiskey for medicinal purposes, we were told by Dugal. The moment of truth had arrived.

Cast off.

We're off.

Gone.

And there was Dugas stom on the deck, shouting, Yee-hah. And pumping the air with his fist. And I thought, So you did do it for yourself, after all. The children were just an excuse. This was Dugas's dream.

A few miles out in the Bay of Biscay, the winds pick up.

Luzet took a dip. And the first wave came over the bow. The spray hit us. Cold, wet spray hit us in the face.

It's now blowing a gale, and the sky darkens to an inky black.

The wind in the rigging was shrill. It was scary just listening to that. The generally waves are getting big.

Great white, snotty rollers, blowing down on top of Lucet.

Mountainous waves coming from the north. They weren't 20 foot now, they were 30 foot. Maybe even 40 foot. It was what I wanted it was.

And Sandy doesn't feel prepared.

Mom, don't ever say anything about this.

I remember my mother saying, We're in trouble here. I was terrified. This was a world I didn't know.

These rookie sailors have never seen anything like it. Water is seeping in through the cabin floors.

And suddenly, I was feeling seasick.

Everyone was sick.

Oh, really bad.

Even my father was sick.

Below deck, it's a mess. Don't look. Up on deck, Dugal is yelling at his kids, telling them what to do.

Douglas.

Douglas. Come and take a wheel.

Douglas has never steered a boat in his life. Now, He's expected to stay on course in the middle of a storm. The boat makes a sudden turn.

And Dugas turns around to me, What are you doing? And I said, I've got no idea what I'm doing. Dugal had this idea of learning on the job.

We'd never done anything.

How to tie knots and how to stand up when the boat's moving.

It may sound unbelievable, but all those months in Falmouth, not once did Dugal actually teach his children how to sail.

We could have just sailed around the bay, couldn't we?

We hadn't done a thing.

Could we have just put the sail up and steered the boat a little bit.

The storm rages for two days. Two long days.

The sheer misery of it.

Douglas has been at the wheel for hours. His sister Anne takes over.

And suddenly she shouts.

There's a boat, a big French fishing ship, much bigger than the Lucet, heading straight for them, less than 100 yards away and getting closer by the second. Dugas sounds horn. It's pointless. The blast is lost in the storm. It's going to be a head-on collision. Then the fishing ship is somehow carried upwards on a huge freak wave. Incredibly, as the Luzet plunges down to the bottom of the wave, The other vessel sweeps over them on the top of the same wave.

I don't know how we missed it.

At last.

All those big waves had gone. Disappeared.

The sun came out. The spell of misery had been broken.

Dugal has the map laid out on the table planning their journey. Their first port of call, Lisbon, in Portugal. Then it's on to the Canary Islands, about 600 miles to the south. After that, the long trip across the Atlantic to the West Indies. For the first time, the family have a chance to take in the joy of the open seas.

The water is so clear. Absolutely beautiful. This big sword fish came along.

Oh, look at this.

It's a purely stoic animal. It was just something we'd never seen before. We used to have cows and sheep and pigs. And suddenly we got a glimpse of what this trip was really going to be like. I love this, dad.

I love it. Can we stay on the loose set forever, dad? 1971, sun, late March. It's a smooth trip across the Atlantic. 32 days of mostly placid sea, clear blue waters, and steady breeses. One afternoon, Anne's on deck as the sun is setting, the sky turning from blue to a pale, shimmering pink.

A narwhal came up out of the water.

A whale.

All white with a very long horn.

They're called the unicorns of the sea.

And then it went down again and was gone. So, so magical. One of the most beautiful things.

Sandy is getting use to life on board Lucet.

Very quickly, we were forgetting about Meadow's Farm. All that went, disappeared, and we were now focused on Lucette.

The The trip is finally turning into the adventure the family had hoped for. Late April, they reach the Caribbean and Barbados. Crystal clear waters, swimming and snorkeling and exploring the island. They're reunited with their friends, the Icelanders, who've arrived ahead of them.

Time seems to be suspended. You don't know even what month it is, never mind what day it is.

Sun rises and sunsets and night skies. It is a wonderful life to live.

May 1971, they head north to the island of Becquay, and then cruise by St. Vincent, St. Lucia, and Martinique to the lush volcanic island of Dominica.

Such magical days. More magical than anything.

Then in June, the Bahamas. Magical, but hard work.

Routine, routine, routine. Life at sea is a routine. Everybody had their job to do.

And Dugal runs a tight chip. If you step out of line or mess up.

What do you think you're doing?

Crack.

That's a whack around the ear from their dad.

There's no warning. There's no warning. It was just crack.

The kids quickly learn. There was this one time back at the farm when Neil stole his dad's cigarettes, and Dugal just lost it.

He made Neil eat them. Just eat this. Eat it. Oh, my God. Did we get disciplined then? What happened? Took his slipper off, bent us over the chair and gave us six of the best.

Six of the best. Six hard wax on the backside.

We won't be doing that again.

But teenagers, they answer back. And Douglas.

Douglas was a big lad.

He was a farmer's son and very strong.

He did all the work, pulling sails up and down and pulling the anchor up by hand. He was a physical lad, Douglas was. Very physical.

He's growing up. Douglas was growing up. He's becoming a man. And he had a very confined space to do it in.

And he's clashing with his dad.

Douglas would lose his temper because Douglas had a temper, and he'd lose his temper. And then my dad, because that's the only person he could lose his temper with.

Dugal and then are also arguing.

What do you mean carry on the trip?

You're joking, aren't you? We're broke. We've got nothing.

But I could always find some work. Don't be stupid. Well, that's a bit uncalful. I could do some nursing, and Douglas could pick up some He's a strong lad.

Forget it. We'll have to go home.

Don't be ridiculous. You better be like a three-year-old.

I'm not being ridiculous. I'm being bloody realistic unlike you. Calm down, Dugle. Don't tell me to calm down and don't patronize me.

It's Anne, the eldest, who plays his pacemaker.

I was always in the middle. I was the one relaying the message. I was always standing between them. I got used to being in the middle.

So maybe it's a relief for all the family when they take a break from their trip and drop anchor, somehow a year and a half has slipped by, but now the money has run out, and they're running very low on supplies. They sold everything to go on this family adventure. So if they want to continue, they've got to make some cash. July 1971, from the magical world of dolphins and swordfish, sunsets and storms to Miami, Florida.

We were in a crazy world. Posh cars, big parties, piles of marijuana on the table. The crazy world.

Yeah, it was crazy.

Me and Anne were just thinking.

Bloody hell. They were growing up Did your parents know what you were doing all these parties? No.

Of course, they didn't know.

I got a newborn friend.

I was 18. My mind was elsewhere.

And Douglas is making new friends, too. A whole new life is opening up to them, and it's hard to resist.

It was kids growing up and leaving their parents and finding their own way, and whether Mom and Dad liked that or not. Tough luck, it was happening.

And Anne is about to make a decision that will shock them all. The family dynamic is changing, and Douglas continues to clash with his father. Very soon, his dad will present him with an impossible choice.

We'll all die. If I do that, we're all going to die.

You've been listening to Adrift, an Apple original podcast, produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me, Becky Milligan. Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me, Becky Milligan. The series is based on the book The Last Voyage of the Lucet, by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd Evans, Louis Nankmanel, and Tobi Matimong. Sound design by Volkhan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd Evans, with dialog editing by Tobi Matimong. The lead sound engineer is Volkhan Kiseltug. The part of Dugal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner, and Lynn Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff. Their words are adapted from Dugal and Lynn's own accounts of their story. The Young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamel and Dexter Hutton. Other parts are played by Arts are played by Mark Gillis. The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan. The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pye. The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Laurence Grisell.