Transcript of An Impossible Choice | 3

Two days adrift.

You keep looking at the water like you can't take your eyes off it, but you know you can't have it.

They pass a glass jar between them.

A sip. You have a sip, not gulp.

We must try to drink less.

It wasn't a quart, it wasn't a pint.

This water has got to last us.

Careful. Not too much.

We were living on a thimbleful at a time, and we used to watch the water.

We were watching it all the time.

All they can think about is water. All they can see is water. They're surrounded by it. But drinking water?

We had 18 tins.

Just 18 pints from a survival kit stitched into the life raft.

We calculated by taking sips that we had 10 days supply of water.

Ten days?

Ten days.

Which means they have 10 days to be rescued. Ten days before they're all dead. So they need water and they need food. And Dugal knows desperate people do desperate things. So he makes his family sway wear an oath.

We will not eat each other.

We will not eat each other. We will not eat each other.

We will not eat each other. We will not eat each other. This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast, produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan.

Episode 3, An impossible choice. January 1972, six months before the Luzet goes down. The family are taking time out of their round the world trip to earn some money in Miami, Florida. Eighteen-year-old Anne has a new boyfriend, Jeff, who she's met here in Miami, and she suddenly drops a bombshell.

We announced that we were in love and we were going to stay together.

She He said, I'm leaving. Me and Jeff are going to get married. My mother went bonkers. She said, What do you mean you're getting married?

How did you feel about it?

I felt devastated. Felt really depressed because she was my soulmate night.

Lynn and Dugal tried to persuade their daughter to stay.

Mother was beside herself. She was losing her daughter, but she had no choice, and headstrong.

When I know, I know.

Just like her dad.

She was 18. She was off.

17-year-old Douglas is also making a new life for himself, cruising the streets of Miami in a fancy car.

V8 Chevy Camaro, the sports version. I was a farmer's son, and there I was in Miami with my Chevy. And people think, How the hell did he get that?

Good question. It's a gift from a new friend, Albert, who's in his 40s.

A male nurse and good money.

Oh, took Douglas under his wing.

Showering him with attention and gifts. He teaches him how to drive. And it's not only Douglas, he's generous to the whole family.

Very, very generous.

And they liked him.

And they liked him.

Douglas is spending more and more time with his new friend.

He would go and work at Al's house and all this business.

And he stays over. The family see Douglas less and less. They think, what a good friend Albert is, especially to Douglas. But for Douglas, it's going much further than that. And the family have no idea.

I was living like a double life. He used whatever means to make sure he got what he wanted.

And looking back now, here's how Anne sees things.

You could say that the family was overwhelmed by him.

Do you think that's what happened to Douglas?

I do think that's what happened to Douglas. It's happening right in front of their noses. They don't see it. That's how it happens.

One morning, Dugal wakes up to what's really going on.

I met Douglas and Albert returning from yet another driving lesson.

They both come on board the Lucet, chatting quietly together. Dugal catches part of their conversation.

And it made my blood run cold.

Dugal and Lynn are stunned, and they want to put a stop to it. So they tell the crew, We're off. We're leaving Miami as soon as we can.

I thought, bloody hell, I don't want to leave.

So Douglas confronts his dad.

And I said to him, What do you mean we're leaving? We live here. He said, Have you forgotten we're going around the world?

Douglas has to make a choice. Stay, or go. And Albert makes him an offer.

Douglas, stay here in America. I'll look after you. You can have everything that I have.

Despite everything, Douglas is tempted.

You're an abuser. You form a relationship with them that is quite unique and quite strange.

But if he stays and abandons the Luzet, it's the end of the family's dream. Douglas's younger brother, Sandy.

Mom and dad felt if they lost Douglas, if Douglas took the same route as Anne, the trip would have been over.

Douglas knows he's essential. Dad, Dugal, needs him to help sail the boat.

I was the strong man. They couldn't go on without me. Dugal could not do it himself.

Dugal and Albert wait for Douglas to decide.

My heart was racing. There was an ominous over hearing silence.

Douglas looks at his dad and then Albert.

I said, We're leaving, Albert. We're leaving today. And he was crying. And he said, Douglas, when you finish your trip, come back and see me. I put my arms around Albert in front of my dad and mom.

Did they ever talk to you about it?

Never.

And you didn't talk to them about it?

I tried. They didn't want I don't know. Which meant to me they did know.

Douglas watches Albert walk away.

They're off after six months in Miami, but without Anne, who's staying behind with her boyfriend.

And we left that world behind us. We We were on our way again. We were on our trip around the world again, to Jamaica, on to Panama.

And on to the Pacific.

May 1972, Club Nautico, Cologne, Panama.

Northern gateway to the Panama Canal. Now, a busy staging post where crews rest, stock up, refuel, relax, and have a drink or two before setting off on their long voyages. And for anyone hoping to catch a ride, it's the perfect place to hang out. It's a sunny spring afternoon when 22-year-old Robin drops by the club. Robin's a graduate, and he's been traveling for the best part of a year, and now he's hoping to hitch a lift to New Zealand. And this is when fate steps in, when a random meeting altars the course of your life. Because Robin bumps person to Dugal, who's about to take the Luzet through the Panama Canal and on to New Zealand, and they get talking.

He was a fairly gruff character. He was a man of the sea. He looked a man of the the sea. He had the air of a man of the sea.

Dugal thinks an extra pair of hands could be useful. Now Anne's gone.

Anne, fortunately for me, they had a spare bunk. Within half an hour of meeting him, Dugal basically says, Hey, laddy. Welcome on board.

We liked him. He was tall.

Square rim glasses.

Dark curly hair. Big beard. Long, thin legs and nombly knees.

Loud. Well-spoken, talked a lot, very confident.

Did you like him?

Oh, yeah, definitely. He fitted in. He was one of us.

I was accepted, and I was part of the crew.

The Lucet sets off through the Great Panama Canal. It takes less than a day to reach the vast blue expanse of...

The Pacific.

The Pacific. 64 million square miles, 35 5,000 feet deep, spread across almost a third of the Earth's surface.

We felt privileged to be there. We were excited to be there. We were now on the other side of the Americas.

They're at the beginning of a long journey across the world's biggest ocean. It should take them about 45 days. Next stop, New Zealand.

June 1972, one day after the sinking of the Luzet.

The family sits in the raft while Lynn sings and pray. Dugal is taking stop, trying to clear his head and work out what on Earth they do now. There's one immediate problem.

The raft was already leaking.

There's water in the raft. They all start to bale it out, and that quickly becomes their constant tedious routine, baling water. But it's a losing battle because there's no way of fixing the leak. They do have the fiber glass dingy, which Dugal, in the nick of time, had tied to the raft when the Luzet went down, but it's flooded, useless. What good is that? And they really are on their own.

We were right out in the Pacific Ocean, miles away from civilization.

Dugal is trying to work out their position.

I knew that our latitude was 1. 15 degree south of the equator, but I was trying to work out where we'd gone down, how far we drifted and where we were now.

Thankfully, the family do have that survival kit.

Glucose tablets, fortified bread, a jar of sweets.

And along with the onions and lemons salvaged from the Luzet, that's all they have to eat. Then, tucked into a pocket in the side of the raft, Lynn discovers a survival manual.

It had various tips and helpful advice. One of the recommendations was to stay put and wait rescue.

But that doesn't make sense.

There was absolutely no point staying put.

No one knew we were adrift. That was a scary thing.

Dugal is racking his brain, trying to think of a way out of this, but he can't. He thinks their chances of survival are practically zero. But that's not something he's going to say out loud, because he and Lynn have made a solemn oath to each other.

If we only do one thing, Dugal, we must get our boys back to land.

He could let the winds and currents carry them across the Pacific.

But that was out of the question, because it would take at least 70 days.

They'll die long before that. And going the other way, back to where they've come from, to the east, the wind and currents will be against them. So that won't work either. Dugald has to come up with a plan. He remembers Lynn's sisters telling him this whole venture was mad.

You're crazy. You've got your children to think about.

They were so worried, they bought them a dingy. What would they say now? Dugal looks at the dingy, now water logged. And then he has the germ of an idea, an idea which might actually work. It's the first night in the raft. They're all shattered, but none of them can sleep because they're not alone.

Bum, bum, bum. What's up?

The bottom of the raft is soft. Did you feel that?

What was it?

And then the bumps got harder and harder.

We were being assaulted from underneath constantly.

It was like getting kicked in the backside.

Small fish, big fish, all kinds of fish. A whole new world is evolving beneath them. And when the sun's gone down...

It was pitch black, darker than dark. So you didn't know what was going on.

Lynn is lying awake.

It was a strange night, full of fear and dread.

Earlier, she'd seen Dugal hugging the twins.

I heard him say, Oh, my beloved boys.

Dugal can't sleep either.

Would it be death by thirst or starvation? Either way, I imagined a slow deterioration into a long sleep.

Douglas has finally managed to drift off.

The dreams I had were so unfair.

Douglas is below deck on a luxury yacht anchored in turquoise waters next to a glittering white, sandy beach. An exotic Caribbean Island, just like the ones they visited a few months before.

I was in a warm, comfortable bed with thick duvet and fluffy pillows, only to wake up in this raft.

Two days adrift. Douglas hears a noise outside. He lifts the flap and peers out. It's bright sunlight. The sea is black.

And Dugal was working on the dingy outside.

He's kneeling down in the little boat, putting the finishing touches to a homemade mast. He's used one of the ores and some rope they found floating in the sea.

And he said, Look, I've got the messed up.

Douglas isn't impressed.

Looks like rubbish to me. That'll never work.

But Dugal ignores him.

We unfurled the sail. The sail filled, and off it went. Miraculous.

The dingy can now pull the raft with all of them inside, like a tug boat, and that means they're no longer drifting at the mercy of the winds and currents.

We could sail in a direction at speed.

Not fast, but at least they're moving.

Two knots, 50 miles a day. Every day, 50 miles. And we were thinking, bloody hell. And I suddenly realized that my dad's idea was actually a brilliant one. You know what I mean?

But they only have 10 days of water. So where do they go? What's the plan? Dugal has made a rough chart using a map he found in the survival kit.

I marked in the coordinates with the Galápagos and as many of the islands as I could remember to the north, and I lightly penciled in the route I thought we might take.

So the plan is aim for The shipping lanes. The shipping lanes, the oceans freeways, where they'll be rescued.

We would get there, we would sit there until a ship sail past and picked us up. That was our plan. We were definitely going to be picked up by a ship in the shipping lines.

Dad said, We'll get picked up. First ship we see, you'll pick us up. I believed every word my dad said. So if he said, We're going to get picked up, we're going to get picked up. He wasn't a master mariner to me. He was our dad. He's not going to let us die.

We were back in business. We had a plan. We weren't sitting there waiting to die. We've got our tug boat now, and we're going to be rescued.

But there's something Dugel isn't telling them. He doesn't know if this is going to work, if it will even take them in the right direction. Dugal's plan to save their lives is a long shot. Can they make it to the shipping lanes? Will their water last? Another plan has crossed his mind. It's high risk because it means asking his son Douglas to make an impossible decision. The hours and minutes tick by, and a daily routine emerges. Strict mealtimes, and they pass water round, taking tiny sips. There's still no sign of rain. They become more and more thirsty, more and more dehydrated, and the raft continues to deflate. They're constantly topping up the air and bailing out the water. The wind carries them slowly, pushing them northwards, where Dugal hopes they might be spotted and rescued. And each day at midday, when the sun is at its highest point, Dugal tries to work out their position. It's late afternoon, they talk about their last port of cool before setting off across the Pacific. The Galápagos Islands. Paradise, full of weird and wonderful creatures they'd never heard of. The albatross, marine iguanas, giant tortuses, the blue-footed booby.

A lifetime ago. Dugal is next to his eldest son. He leans towards him.

I began in barely more than a whisper, so the others couldn't hear me.

He said, Douglas. Douglas. You can row. You can row.

You can row better than any of us. Take the dingy back to the Galápagos Islands and raise the alarm.

He's the only one who can do it. Douglas doesn't answer. He can't quite believe what his father is asking him to do. It's hundreds of miles, and he would be all alone in the dingy, and he's sure he won't make it. He's about to say, There's no way. But then he looks into his dad's eyes.

It was the desperation. I love my dad. I had a lot of respect for him, and I wanted to please him. I always wanted to be my dad's hero. He was my hero.

And you wanted his approval?

And I wanted his approval, and constantly sought his approval, which you would never give.

Do you think you're still looking for his approval?

Yeah, probably. Probably spend the rest of my life doing it.

He's also scared.

You didn't disobey him. We learned on the Lucet, you would do what he said.

Douglas asks when.

Tomorrow.

That evening, the sky turns pitch black. Douglas can't sleep.

I've got to tell him no. I have got to say to Dool, Dad, I'm not doing it.

Next day, he comes out with it.

We'll all die. If I do that, we're all are going to die. I'm going to die out there alone. You lot are going to die here together because there's no way I can get that dingy back to the Galápagos Islands. I don't even know where they are.

Douglas thinks his dad is about to lose it.

But he didn't. He didn't. He put his arms around me. I'm sorry, Douglas.

I should never have asked.

My dad was human, after all. All this tough facade somewhere in there was a father.

Day seven, dawn. The water is nearly gone. The thirst is agony. Their lips and tongues are swollen. There's no way of knowing if they've reached the shipping lanes. Clouds are gathering above them in the early morning sky.

Oh, bless you. Thank you. Bless.

Thank you.

Take it off.

They grab their water cans and hold them up to the heavens. They fill to the top in seconds. And then, they drink. Douglas watches the clouds lifting and the sky turning blue.

There's a ship over there. Look, it's a ship.

Look, it's a ship. It's a ship. It's a ship. It's a ship.

It's a ship.

It's a ship. We're going to be rescued, boys. It's a ship. Over here.

The ship.

You've been listening to Adrift, an Apple podcast, produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me, Becky Milligan. Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me, Becky Milligan. The series is based on the book, The Last Voyage of the Luzet, by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd Evans, Louis Nankmanell, and Tobi Matimol. Sound design by Volkhan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd Evans, with dialog editing by Tobi Matimong. Timon. The lead sound engineer is Volkhan Kiseltug. The part of Dugal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner, and Lynn Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff. Their words are adapted from Dugel and Lynn's own accounts of their story. The young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamel and Dexter Hutton. Other parts are played by Mark Gillis. The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan. The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pye. The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Laurence Grisell.