Transcript of Kristen Butler: Could Your Comfort Zone Be Your Biggest Advantage? | E309

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Notes I was depressed, I was bankrupt. I was filled with negativity and fear and doubt. That's what rock bottom felt like. But there was such a transformation that I was eating healthy, I was feeling fulfilled, I was loving life. And I'm like, if I could boil it down to one thing, what would it be? It was the power of positivity. The comfort zone is where positivity can truly thrive. So many people advocate for constant discomfort as growth, but chasing discomfort actually chains us to discomfort. I found so much success thriving in my comfort zone and expanding it than constantly being in survival mode.

Young and profiters welcome back to the show. If you're tuning into this podcast, it is highly likely that you're a high achieving entrepreneur and as a high achieving individual, you are always trying to seek discomfort. You are always trying to change, to grow. And we've all heard the saying, no pain, no gain. Many of us live by this saying.

However, my guest today is going to.

Dispel all of that for us. She feels that constantly chasing discomfort is extremely unhealthy and leads to things like burnout. And she believes that we should strive to stay in our comfort zone as opposed to our complacent or survival zone.

So she's going to be dispelling this myth to us all today, something that.

We'Ve heard over and over again, even here on this podcast. I'm interested to hear what she has to say about staying in our comfort zone and how that works when we.

Want to achieve such big, audacious goals.

All of us young and profiters. Kristen Butler is a bestselling author. She's an influencer she's also the CEO and founder of Power of Positivity. She hit rock bottom in 2009. She lost everything. And at that point, she turned to positivity to turn her life around and has been sharing her knowledge and wisdom about how to live a more positive, happy life ever since. Without further ado, here's my conversation with Kristin Butler.

Kristen, welcome to young and profiting podcast.

Thank you so much, hala. It's such a pleasure. I'm so excited to chat with you and to provide value to the young and profiters.

I'm so excited for this conversation, too. I love to talk about positivity. I'm the podcast princess, but you are the positivity princess. So I'm excited to have you on the show. But I did learn that your childhood.

Wasn'T all that positive, especially probably when.

You look back on your childhood. So can you talk to us about what it was like growing up for you and what that experience was like?

Yeah, absolutely. You know, I grew up in Pennsylvania. It was a small town, and my mom was single, and we had four kids, so we grew up in poverty. And it was definitely tough because I spent most of my early childhood with my grandparents. And once I hit school and I started to get feedback from other students about the clothes that I was wearing and the way that I was coming to school every day, I started to realize something must be wrong. I'm not like the other kids because inside I always had these rose colored glasses. I loved life. I was happy. I was positive. And I didn't really realize I was poor until I started hitting school and getting that comparison. So very early on, I realized I've got to change my circumstances, and how do we do that? And teachers would say, you've got to step out of your comfort zone. Nothing grows in your comfort zone. Nothing good comes from your comfort zone. And that was something that I heard pretty often from teachers, my grandfather, that I really looked up to. And so I adopted this adage of step out of your comfort zone at a pretty early age just because I wanted to change my circumstances.

I didn't want to be in this situation. I had so many goals and dreams in my heart.

And so, of course, you wanted to get out of your comfort zone, make those dreams a reality.

But let's step back a little bit.

So you were growing up before elementary school. It was like ignorance was bliss for you. You didn't even know anything was wrong. You were just happy.

And then you went to school, you got all this negative feedback. How did that carry with you later on.

How did you carry those emotions? What did you feel about yourself? What was your mindset like because of the external negativity that you kept facing as a kid?

When we're kids, we're just in our own little world. We're happy, we're confident. At least most kids I know that are raised in decent environments. They're happy, they're positive. And then we start to look on the outside and start to take in the feedback that other people are giving us. And what happened to me was I was taking that feedback as truth. And sure, it was truth in my current circumstance, but it wasn't what I felt in my heart. And I rejected it for a very long time. But then I think when I hit teenage age, I really started to take that in as truth, and I would just stuff it down like, you know, I can push through this. This isn't who I am. And I would just work harder, I would try harder, I would study more, I would do things that would take me out of my comfort zone because where I was wasn't comfortable as it was. And so I thought, okay, I want to change these circumstances. I'm going to just push through.

So let's talk about when you first discovered the power of positivity.

Was it one event that happened in.

Your life, or was it slow accumulation of events?

I didn't really know that much about a positive mindset when I grew up. We surely didn't talk about it, at least in my family and in my circle. And it wasn't until my early twenties when I hit rock bottom. It was after one struggle after another. Cycles and cycles of burnout. Like I said, it was someone who was living by the adage of great things never come from your comfort zone. And so I was achieving great things, but then I was also burning out. And I. When I hit rock bottom, I was depressed, I was anxious, I was obese, I was bankrupt. I was putting everything into my work to try to change my circumstances from being poor little Kristen who didn't have much. I didn't want to be a victim. But here I found myself as a victim. I was bedridden for two weeks straight. I actually had a successful business that I lost because I couldn't keep up with all of my orders, because I was constantly pushing myself and I couldn't sustain the momentum that it took to get there. So my mind was overthinking. I was filled with negativity and fear and doubt.

You know, it was so bad, I didn't even want to brush my teeth. I didn't even care about getting out of bed. That's what that rock bottom felt like. And I had to start looking at things from a more positive perspective, like, well, at least I have a bed to sleep on. At least I have a roof over my head. There are people that still care, even if it didn't feel like it in that moment. And so I started to think more positive. I started to read positive quotes, started to prioritize gratitude, and it really helped me to start getting out of bed, to start doing things that I loved again, start calling family and friends. And that's where I really got passionate about positivity and a positive lifestyle, because it can really pull you from any dark place.

I really like what you said about how you needed to just be thankful for things that you take for granted, and that really helped pull you out of this rut, because it could always be so much worse. It actually reminds me of a funny story that I'll share that happened to me a couple weeks ago. So I have pretty bad eyesight. Really bad. I say. Without contacts, I'm technically no, and I've never really shared this on the podcast. I'm technically legally blind. Without contacts, I'm like, negative nine, negative ten. But I pop my contacts in, and I can see perfectly, and it's 2024, and I wear contacts, and life is good. But I was feeling just negative about the fact that I had bad eyesight. And I was at a family barbecue, and I was talking to my aunt and uncle, asking them about Lasik. It wouldn't work fully for me. Then I made a joke that when it's time for me to go to bed, I just take out my contacts because I'm blind. Anyway, so it's time to go to bed. So that's how I make myself go to sleep. And I was like, just, like, being negative about myself.

Then in the morning, I woke up, and as usual, I put in my contacts. One of my contacts fell, and I didn't know where it went, but then I just put another contact in. And then I was having trouble seeing that day. And I remember telling my coworkers, my employees, guys, I don't know what's going on. I can't keep both my eyes open. I can't focus with both of my eyes open. And I got so worried, I started texting my family. I ended up going to the doctor and thinking something was really wrong with my eyes. I was like, did I have a stroke last night? Like, what the hell happened? I go to the doctor. She asked me to take out my contacts, and I had two contacts stuck to each other in one eye. Oh, no. And I was the laughing stock of the office. But the reason why I told this story is because it immediately humbled me where I was like, you know what, God, thank you for my eyesight. Thank you for making me born in 2024, where I can wear contacts. In my whole life, I had contacts. It never mattered that I had bad eyesight because I just got to work.

Contacts since I was a little girl didn't matter. Nobody even knows I have bad eyesight. And so then I just started being like, wow, I need to be more grateful. Life could be so much worse, and my eyes could even be worse. So I just wanted to say, it's always good to, like, step back and realize that life could just be so much worse. You should be grateful even to just have a place to sleep. Like you were saying.

Yeah. It's like you have to experience that extreme, that other side sometimes to feel grateful. Not always, but it definitely helps to have that perspective.

Yeah. So why did you decide to create a whole community around positivity?

Why did you want to share this message to the world?

Great question. You know, going from broke and broken to happy and thriving, I knew that if I could do it, so could others. When starting power of positivity 15 years ago, I was just a freelancer at the time, and I was managing social media accounts for my clients. I've loved social media since I was a teen, and so I was doing work I loved, and Facebook just came out with pages and I was making pages for my clients. And I'm like, I should make myself a page. But here I am trying to prioritize work life balance, and I'm like, okay, I'm not going to make it about work because I knew that if I made it about work, then I would just be working more. And so I'm like, okay, I'm going to make this about a passion. I got to thinking and reflecting, and I'm like, what about my transformation? That's been happening? Because I was like half this person that I was. I was eating healthy, I was feeling fulfilled. I was loving life. And I'm like, if I could boil it down to one thing, what would it be? And it wasn't just a positive mindset, it was a positive lifestyle.

It was the power of positivity. And that's where it started. I was just sharing quotes and affirmations and tips that were helping me, and I was hoping that it could help someone else.

And did that community grow very large? Talk to us about how receptive people were to that idea.

It really started to take off. Today we have multiple pages under power of positivity, but we have over 58 million followers globally on social media. Our website, powerofpositivity.com, has had over a billion views. It was just consistent action. I think when you show up every single day and you're there for people, they rely on that. So that's what I credit a lot of it to. Yes, there was passion. Yes, there was love. Yes, there was skill. You know, I have a journalism background, but it's really the energy behind something that can grow it so quickly. You know how it is with your community. It's the passion and that desire inside to help people.

Yeah, totally. So you just mentioned that you're an entrepreneur at heart. We've got a lot of entrepreneurs listening in on the show, and one thing that entrepreneurs have trouble with is self care. We tend to care for others. We have employees, we have clients. A lot of the times, we're the breadwinners in our families, and we care about everybody else. And we often don't really think about our own self care. Why do people struggle with self care? Why do we need to care about self care?

Self care isn't selfish. It's essential. Think about it. It's the fuel that powers our ability to care for others. We've got to nurture ourselves. We've got to fill our cup. I found that was essential in my journey. In fact, I love talking about self care because it goes so deep. We can say surface level, it could be going to the spa, right? Or getting your nails done, or going for a long walk, or going to the gym. But really, in my journey, and I share this in, the key to positivity, there's four pillars of self care, and we need to nurture every single one to really create that balance in our life. And that's physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. If we want to deepen our purpose, if we want that real work life balance, we need to remember these four potentially on a daily basis. If you're just getting started, maybe on a weekly basis, to really make sure that we're filling our cup and allowing our well being to happen through our actions and then pouring over to others.

I know that one part of self care that you talk about is finding your comfort zone. And you talk a lot about this in your latest book, the key to positivity. Also in other books that you have and you have a take on comfort zones that's very different from even me and other people that have been on the show. But you actually don't encourage us to constantly be chasing discomfort. So talk to us about why chasing discomfort isn't actually the solution to living a really successful life.

What I talk about is similar to stepping out of your comfort zone, but it's not exactly, and it's a mindset shift. When I was focused on constantly living outside of my comfort zone for success, I found that chasing discomfort actually chains us to discomfort. And I know that so many people advocate for constant discomfort as growth, but I find that it's essential to balance our life and to embrace discomfort as a transformative ally, but also know that we need that balance because research shows that chasing discomfort creates stress, chronic stress, and burnout. I think recently you had doctor Aditi on the show, and she was talking all about burnout and stress and overwork. So instead, I like to focus on advocating for nurturing an environment that allows you to challenge yourself in a healthy way by creating smaller, more incremental steps that are sustainable, where you can bridge yourself to your goals and expand your comfort zone. Instead of stepping out, it's stretching it and knowing that you have this safe space with a regulated nervous system to create and to be and to stretch and actually grow at the same time.

Talk to us about these three zones of living that we might bounce around throughout our life.

Yeah. In the book, I talk about the three zones of living. And a lot of what we talk about as the comfort zone, I found was actually the complacent zone. Because think about it. When people are stuck and they're not willing to grow, are they actually comfortable? Truly, they're not. They are afraid. They are full of negativity. At least I know for me, that's where I was. I was not comfortable at all. In fact, I was working so hard to try to find comfort eventually. And so that's the complacent zone, where you feel stuck, overwhelmed, and you're afraid to grow. You might be doing Netflix and chill, but what are you ignoring in your life?

And that's a really, like, negative zone to be in, would you say?

Yeah, you're full of negative emotions. You're afraid to even change anything. Because who knows? It could be worse, right? Life could get worse than what it already is. And so you kind of get used to this discomfort that you're living in. And that's when we tell people to get out of their comfort zone. They're not comfortable of course, obviously. And so the second zone is the survival zone. And you find yourself in the complacent zone after you've been in the survival zone for so long. This is where we're burning out. We are finding success, but we are also finding so much failure. It's so chaotic. We're burnt out, we're exhausting ourselves, we're working too hard. And this is where I spent a lot of my life. When I was constantly living outside of my comfort zone. I was in the survival zone. I was trying to make things work, but I had a dysregulated nervous system. What kind of effort was really going into the overwork that I was doing? I was not balancing it with self care or positivity at all. And I didn't realize it, right. A recent poll said that 76% of people are feeling burnt out at work.

We're just constantly filling up with caffeine and in the survival zone, working as hard as we possibly can to make things work. The third is, of course, my favorite zone, right, the comfort zone. And this is the sweet spot for growth. This is where positivity can truly thrive. We can stretch our limits and we can grow, but it doesn't have to be so overwhelming. We're more in the flow. We're not forcing and pushing things. And this is really the key to a positive life. It's easing up. It's only doing enough work that you truly need to do and then recharging yourself. Because then the next day you're actually going to be more productive by doing that. It doesn't seem like it, but I found so much success thriving in my comfort zone and expanding it than constantly being in survival mode.

So give us an example of what it looks like to try to change in the survival mode and then what it looks like to change and improve.

Ourselves in the comfort zone.

Give us a comparing contrast so that we can really understand survival zone.

And complacent zone is such a fear based place. So if you're constantly experiencing negative emotions and your action is driven through negative emotions, then that's likely where you are in the comfort zone. Your actions are driven by positive emotions. And so you're doing things because you get to do them, you want to do them, you're passionate about it. You know that you need to do that workout in the morning because you know it's going to make you more productive and you're going to feel better in your body. And so you're prioritizing things for the long term instead of the short term. Right. And you're taking care of your wellbeing, knowing that it's sustainable success instead of short term.

So do you feel like there's any need to have discomfort in your life?

I recently did the 75 hard challenge last December.

And what's that? I've heard it, but I don't know much about it. What is that?

Yes. You do two workouts a day, you drink a gallon of water, you read ten pages, you do one workout that's outside of. There's this long list. You know, at first when my friend invited me, I thought, can I really do this? And then I thought, no, I really can. I can expand to that because I was already working out once a day and it was a great challenge for me because I didn't like being out in the cold at the time. And I'm like, I want to embrace the cold. I want to feel good about that. And so using positivity to overcome challenges, when I first started going outside and doing my workout and I'm here in the mountains, it's like 30 degrees, I'm like, actually, this cold air really is calming, it's peaceful. It actually is recharging me. There was so many positive effects that I was seeing and by embracing it and using the discomfort as a transformative ally, it was changing my life. But before, when I was more in the survival and complacent zone, I wasn't using discomfort as a transformative ally. I wasn't feeling like, I'm going to embrace this, I'm going to find the positive.

It was a more negative place. And so it's really this mindset shift of expanding your comfort zone and embracing discomfort or stepping out and pursuing discomfort in that way.

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I love that you brought up the cold. I recently had Michael Easter on the show.

Yes.

And he has this book called the Comfort Crisis. And he basically argues that a lot of our convenience in modern life is really hurting our health and our happiness because we just live so much differently than our ancestors did, who they had to work in the fields, they were in really uncomfortable situations. And then now we have so much comfort around us that life is just less fulfilling. And he thinks that we need to make ourselves and force ourselves to be uncomfortable. So what are your thoughts on this?

I love that book. Firstly, because yes, he's talking about stepping out of our comfort zone and how comfort can be a negative thing. But really, when I talk about expanding your comfort zone, there's synergy there because we're both advocating for growth, right? The goal is growth. We don't want to stay complacent. We don't want to be lazy. So for me, I'm just offering a new perspective to expand your comfort zone rather than stepping out to use it as a transformative ally. And there is a difference. Utilizing your comfort zone, you're staying in your power, you're still doing things that you've never done before. It's just in smaller, more incremental steps. And I find that when we do it this way, we don't quit. Before I would give up because I'd be like, wow, maybe I'm just not good at this. Or if I failed too many times, eventually I'd just give up. And so it's really a mindset. And I believe that he and I are really still leaning into growth and doing hard things, but making those hard things manageable, making them part of your lifestyle, for me, it's how big can your comfort zone be?

A rock climber, Alex Honnold, he rock climbs free solo, sometimes without any harnesses. And he says that he does that by embracing his comfort zone. He destroys the fear. He embraces and expands his comfort zone. So you can literally do hard things. It's just a mindset shift.

So give me an example of somebody who's changing in their comfort zone versus somebody who's stepping out of their comfort.

Zone, someone in their comfort zone who wants to run a marathon. And they set that goal. They're going to make a plan that they begin to run in small, incremental steps, so weakly, they might run just a few miles and then they build up. But when someone's outside of their comfort zone, they might just erratically run. I've seen people prepare and they're like, okay, I'm going to do 5 miles, I'm going to do ten. And then they might have an off week because they've pushed theirselves too far and there's no balance. It's very chaotic. Someone in their comfort zone, they are using positivity to their advantage. They might have affirmations, they might visualize about the outcome of their race. And so it's a very balanced place of achieving your goals versus just, I'm going to push myself into this discomfort. I am going to go to the extreme and see how far I can take it. And so many of us are actually creating in our comfort zone and expanding in this healthy, balanced way. And we don't even realize it.

Okay, this makes a lot more sense. I'm getting it now. So can you talk to us about.

How can we tell if we're overworking.

If we've gone from hard work to overwork?

I really love Wallace Wattles, and he talks about a successful life is doing all the work that we can do today and not doing tomorrow's work today. And so giving our best effort and doing all we can today. And that's always stuck with me because I think before, when I would burn out, I was always trying to do tomorrow's work, or, heck, even the rest of the week's work in a day. I was trying to see how much work I could really get done. And so, being in tune with your body, knowing when you might need to take a five minute walk outside to get some fresh air, knowing when you might need to do a workout in the morning before you begin work, whatever it is for you, that's going to help you bring more well being to the work that you're doing. You're going to be more positive, you're going to be more passionate about it, and you're probably going to be way more productive because you're not overworking yourself.

So you have this great analogy of comfort zones, and you compare it to a home. Can you talk to us about this sea pyramid that you have?

The sea pyramid is the foundation of creating your life from comfort and positivity, and it stands for safety, expression, and enjoyment. This is closely related to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but it applies to our daily life, and we can even use it in our work. So safety is really about making sure that you have a safe environment. And this goes a lot to all of the research and work that you hear now about having a regulated nervous system. It's so hard to pursue and to grow if you're not feeling safe in your body, if you're not feeling safe in the environment. And so that's really foundational. If you want to feel good in life, feel safe. Prioritize that. When I started really doing nervous system work and tuning into how I felt in different situations or with even different work, it really helped me to see that, okay, when I'm comfortable in my body, when I'm comfortable in my environment, I do so much better. I'm so much more creative. I'm in the flow. I don't have to force ideas. And so safety is foundational.

That was really interesting. What did you find out about your own nervous system? And what feelings are you striving for? That you feel are healthy versus not healthy. When, you know, my nervous system is.

Not right right now.

You know, I think really getting into your body, there's so many distractions that keep us out of our body. So when you find out how to get into your body and truly feel it, feel the sensations in your fingers and in your face and your muscles, you can know when your nervous system is dysregulated, you might feel tingly, your heart might beat a little faster. Everyone's different. And so knowing when you feel calm, I'd love to have lavender with me. I breathe lavender. Or in between meetings when I'm like, ugh, I've had too many meetings. I'm not feeling good. I'll go outside for a walk and just truly knowing, okay, how do I feel? And negative emotions are always going to give you that signal or those sensations in your body if your nervous system isn't regulated, and then there's so many different things that we can do to get regulated. I love gratitude for that same thing because it's like, okay, I'm not feeling so good right now. How can I feel good in this moment? And just taking a few deep breaths, focusing on two or three things that I'm grateful for in that moment can really bring that balance and that peace back in your body.

So the second is expression, and this is really about being your most authentic self and living in a way that honors you and your preferences. And this has a lot to do with setting boundaries. I wasn't someone who set enough boundaries around myself or around others, around how much work I was doing. And so the second layer is learning to express yourself and learning to know your own preferences, and then communicating those preferences to the outside world, which is so important. And then the third one is enjoyment. And if you don't have the other two, it's really hard to truly, authentically enjoy life, right? Because if you're dysregulated or you don't even have healthy boundaries or know your preferences, how can you truly, authentically enjoy life? And that's doing things that you love every day that are going to fill your own cup, not somebody else's.

And speaking of enjoyment, I know that you have a lot of tips to live a happier life. You have something called an enjoyment jar. Tell us about that.

An enjoyment jar is very much like a gratitude jar, except it's going to boost your mood in a way that gets you to take action. You want to create this enjoyment jar by putting activities that you truly love in that jar. And so once you have that jar created and you don't even have to put that many things in there over time, you can add them in as you think of them. Don't overthink it. But when you need that pick me up, when you're just having one of those days and you've got some time go in there, just randomly pick one out of. Spontaneity is so fun sometimes. I love to plan, and I love my calendar, but spontaneity can really bring that joy back into our life. And so it's an activity that I really love to prioritize and talk to.

Us about how you've been able to change your self image. Like you told us you were picked on when you were younger, how did you transform the way that you actually think about yourself? And do you have any exercises for that?

One of the biggest ways that I have transformed my self image was through affirmations. I don't know if you love affirmations, but we're already telling ourselves things. We already have affirmations about ourselves. We just don't even realize. And so what it first looked like was me writing down some of the negative things that I was thinking about myself. It was like, wow, I don't love myself. I think these horrible things about me. And it was no wonder that my life was what it was. And so one of the things that I started early on was mirror work. And what that is, it was started by Louise Hay is looking at yourself in the mirror and reciting your affirmations. And it can be a really emotional thing to start, because if you don't love yourself or you think very negative things about yourself, which a lot of people do, and they don't realize, it can be hard to look at your own eyes and tell yourself that you are enough or that you love yourself. But it's so transformative, and it can change things, change the way you look at yourself in a matter of days by doing it, as long as you're consistent.

And so I really believe in creating a few affirmations for yourself, even just three, the opposite of what you think of yourself. So if you hate yourself, then you want to say that I love myself. If you don't believe you're enough, you want to say, I am enough. If life feels chaotic, then create an affirmation around peace. I am full of peace. Whatever it is for you, we're all different. When you really recite those affirmations on a consistent basis, it starts to change the way that you feel about yourself. The way that you look at yourself, the way that other people look at you, the way that they feel about you. And when you're consistent over time, you can completely transform the way you think and the way other people treat you. It's incredible and it's free and it's easy to do. It's just, you have to be consistent with it.

Yeah. I remember when I was 19 and I learned about the law of attraction and positivity, and I started to get into affirmations. What I did is that I would actually record affirmations, and then I would use voice notes on my phone. And then when I was driving, I'd replay it. When I was getting ready, I'd replay it, brainwashed myself, and I would say really silly things like, I'm the prettiest girl in the world. People are attracted to me like a magnet. And it just improved my self confidence so much. And to your point, it improved the way that people perceived me because I walked around with a different energy and with a different sense of confidence. And that in itself is very attractive. So even if you don't look any different, you might be sleeping better, you might have just a more rested face and look more relaxed and approachable, and you're actually perceived differently when you think positively about yourself. And I just feel like people don't realize that when I feel like crap and I'm in a bad mood, I never get hit on, I never get, you know what I'm saying?

But, like, if I'm feeling great, like everybody wants to talk to me. So it's just funny to think.

I think as kids, we think that just certain people have confidence or a certain way, and that's their personality. But what I found is that it's really not your personality. It's just might have been what you heard around you or just the way that you were being. And you can always change your beliefs and change the way that you're being. And so affirmations are just such a quick way of doing that and giving yourself confidence, especially if you feel like you don't have it.

I also love how you've paired the mirror exercise with showering. Can you tell us about that?

So when I take a shower, I visualize the negativity. Anything that has happened during that day that wasn't ideal or I was feeling a certain way that wasn't ideal, I just let it go down the drain. And it's such a healing thing. And then afterwards, I do my mirror work because it's so convenient. I love to double up on my habits and habit stack in that way.

What are the ways that you infuse gratitude in your life?

Early on, I was one of those people. Write ten things down on a piece of paper that you're grateful for, right? And if you're consistent, that really works for me. I was consistent, and that really worked well. And anyone starting with affirmations, I would totally recommend starting in that way, especially if it feels awkward even just looking around and writing down what you're grateful for, but taking it a step deeper and being specific about what you're grateful for, putting detail into it and really diving in in a way that you start to feel the gratitude, because it's truly the feeling that's the transformative part. And when you make it a habit for me, when I made it a habit over and over, it just became who I was. And the fact of you just wake up happier feeling grateful for. Wow. I love the view out the window. It looks beautiful, even if it's raining. You find ways to enjoy it. Looking in the mirror, looking at yourself, looking at certain things you're doing, thinking about the day and preparing, and so you're living and feeling that state of gratitude throughout the day.

I learned something from Michael Jervis, and it's something I've been saying pretty often on the podcast because it's really helped me. He's got this 90 seconds before you get out of bed gratitude practice, where as soon as you wake up, first thing that you do is, what am I grateful for? And when I wake up, especially lately, I'm palestinian. I've got a lot of negative thoughts going around with the genocide, happening, everything like that. So I wake up, and a lot of the times, first thing I think about is, oh, my God, what kids.

Did they kill today?

That's literally the first thoughts that I think about when I wake up. So this has helped me because I'm able to be like, all right, you had that thought, but what are you grateful for? And then he says, visualize three things that you want to get done today, and then you get out of bed. And the third thing is to just sit with yourself for a moment, and then you get out of bed. I just love that because I feel like a lot of us are like this. As soon as you wake up, even if you weren't dreaming about your problem, let's say you're going through a breakup. As soon as you wake up, oh, my God. Back to reality. I had a breakup. Or whatever it is, this helps you reset and make sure you start off your day on the right foot. So I loved that.

Oh, I really love what you just mentioned. That was really great, because when you start your day in a grateful way, it just shifts the energy.

I know another way that you suggest that we do hard things, grow, change is to ourselves, to not only expand our comfort zones, but expand our personalities, just like Beyonce did with Sasha fierce. I think Ethan calls this the Batman effect. Talk to us about that in the book.

I talk about expanding yourself and really embracing that next level version of you. There's so many people that have done this. Like you said, Beyonce, Marilyn Monroe. What I did was, okay, who is that version of me? That is ideal. And that's where positive Kristen came. I'm like, okay, if they're doing it, I'm going to do that. This is positive Kristen. And it's really true. When you do this, when you name your expanded self, you step into that person and you can really become them much quicker. And so I tell people to really visualize who that person is, specific. In fact, actually, the more specific you are, the better, because that's your preferences, that's your desires, that's what you want. That's where the passion comes from. This isn't some kind of silly, gimmicky thing, right? This is really you growing and becoming that next level version. And to embody that person, you need to really give it a character. And so name that person. Think about what they're wearing, where they're going, what are they buying? How do they feel? Because, let's be honest, we're human and we're going to have bad days. We're going to have bad moments.

We're going to have feelings where we're like, okay, that's not me. I can't even identify with that. But if you spend a lot of time naming this person and visualizing about this next level version of you, you can actually attain it.

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So I think my favorite part of your book, an idea in your book, was this idea of luminaries and luminaries. I thought that was really cute, and I thought that it made a lot of sense. So talk to us about surrounding ourselves with the right people and how we can tell if we're with luminaries or luminaries and if there's a place for both of these types of people in our lives.

We all hear that we become the five people that we surround ourselves with. Right. But this is taking it a little deeper. We're really looking at the people in our lives. And if we're someone who, and a lot of you listening, are people who love growth and love expansion, the truth is, is that when we grow, we outgrow the people around us, and it's just part of life. If they're not growing with us, it's not a negative thing. It's just we're vibing out. Right. And so I had to really look at my life, the people in my life who are luminaries, the people who are lighting me up, they are supporting my growth, they're supporting my journey. And that next level version of who I am, they don't see it as, oh, you're changing, right. They see it as a positive. And so those are luminaries. But in contrast, you know, and I call this luminaries, but there are people who, they don't want you to change. They're afraid of you becoming something different because they're clinging to the person that you are. But if you're someone that loves growth, you need to be around people who are going to support that growth.

And so gloominaries, they might be negative. They might drain your energy. There might be a trauma bond that actually brought you together. There's so many things that could be part of a luminary relationship, but it's important for us to identify that. And sometimes someone can be a luminary and then a luminary. I mean, we ourselves can do that as well to other people, but it's important to acknowledge it so that we can say, okay, this relationship might have helped me with this trigger or this thing I was going through, and we were trauma bonding in that moment. But I've outgrown that now. And it's okay to outgrow that relationship and to pursue other relationships, you know, and it can be any kind, work, friendship, relationship, whatever. I just found that when I up leveled my relationships, my life up leveled. And so sometimes it wasn't what I was doing that was holding me back. It was the people and the environment that I was around.

Do you feel like there's a way to transform somebody from a luminary to a luminary? Like, if you just have a productive.

Conversation, like, hey, I don't want to.

Talk about what happened anymore. I don't like talking about this topic. But I want us to have a healthy relationship with you. Let's just move forward with these boundaries or something. Is there a way to do that?

I love that you said that. Yes. I'm so big on boundaries, and I talk about boundaries in the book, and you're exactly right. Communication is everything. But some people aren't willing to truly communicate and meet you at that level. And so, sure, if they are more negative in your life, but you want to keep them, you love them, maybe their family have those conversations. Those tough conversations are so important. If they can meet you there and they can honor those boundaries, then that's a positive. Then you guys will be growing together. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. And it's important to identify that because that can hold you back.

A lot of the folks listening are entrepreneurs. We all have competitors.

How should we think of our competition in a positive way?

I used to think of people as competitors, and then somewhere down the road, I got creative and I started seeing them as compellers. So instead of looking at them and being envious about what they have or wanting to beat them in some way, I started to see them as compellers, that they were showing me the potential of where I could go. And I started to look at them in an inspiring way. And I think it's so good to do that. Especially today with social media, we can constantly be scrolling and feeling negative emotions for hours depending on how long you might be doom scrolling. But if you can look at the people you're following and even if they're further along than you are, that's potential. Where you can be what anybody is doing, that's something that you can do as well. And you can be inspired by them. You can look at what they're doing and say, wow, that's something that eventually I could have. You could befriend them, whatever it might look like. But turning the competition in a positive way as a compeller, really has been effective for me. I no longer look at other businesses that might have the same model as me or other influencers as a negative, and I don't feel envious.

I'm cheering for them and I'm excited for them, and it's like wow. Maybe I could do that, too.

Yeah. I love that perspective. I always say, collaboration over competition. I like to just collaborate with my competitors. Everybody's my competitor now is just in my podcast network.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

And we grow together.

Yeah. I love that so much. You have to turn it into a positive. That's where the world is evolving.

All right. So, Kristen, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast. I end my show with two questions that I ask all of my guests. The first one is, what is one actionable thing our young and profiters can do today to become more profitable tomorrow?

Journal about your feelings around money. I would make a lot of money in my early twenties, and then I would lose it, and I didn't understand why because I was working so hard. But what I found out is I was carrying limiting beliefs from my past, from the people that I grew up around living in poverty, and I was holding on to those, and I didn't realize. And so I started to journal about how I felt about money, and I realized I had a lot of negative beliefs around money. And I spent years swapping those and thinking more positive. And now the words like rich and wealth, that feels so good to me. And my business is thriving because I attract it, I allow it to stick around, and I feel good about it. I don't feel bad. And so that's so important. Often we are doing our best, and our beliefs are holding us back.

I love that advice. And what would you say your secret to profiting in life is? And this couldn't go beyond business, just like your secret to a successful, thriving life.

I think my secret to a successful, thriving life is co creating with, I call it God, but you can call it universe or divine energy, co creating with God, because that takes the pressure off of me. It's not all up to me. I don't know everything. I can't do everything. But with God, I feel like I can. And so I don't overwork because of that anymore. And I pursue the goals in my heart because I know that they're there for a reason, and I know that there's an energy on the outside that's helping them make them come true.

I love that. Sort of, like your alter ego Persona, but an external one. That's, like, helping you along the way.

Yeah.

So, Kristen, where can everybody learn more about you and everything that you do?

Oh, thank you so much, positivechristen.com. or I love to go on instagram. I'm positive, Kristen. And my brand is power of positivity you can follow us and we love to help and inspire our community.

Awesome.

Thank you so much Kristin thank you so much.

This was amazing. I appreciate you.

Learning to take better care of ourselves can be challenging for entrepreneurs. We spend so much of our time looking after the needs and interests of others, from our employees to our clients, that like Kristen said, we can forget to fill our own cups. Sometimes that means taking a day off or going to the gym for an hour. Sometimes its as simple as taking a moment to be thankful for the things that you usually take for granted, like contact lenses to help you see. We also hear so much about how chasing challenges and discomfort can help us grow that we forget that we can also grow from a place of comfort and stability. So if youre suffering from stress, burnout or anxiety then perhaps it's best to take a step back and think about how you can expand your own comfort zone instead of just trying to push yourself over that next obstacle. Kristen had some great pointers for how to do this, including by bolstering your own sense of enjoyment and security. Create an enjoyment jar and fill it with activities that you truly love. Spend some time visualizing your ideal self and give yourself a new name or Persona if you want, and finally, try collaborating with your competition for a change.

You may find that you can grow in a positive way together. I hope you've grown in a positive way from this episode of young and profiting podcast. If you listened, learned and profited from.

This conversation and want to send some.

Positive energy out into the universe, then please share this episode with somebody who could benefit from it. And if you did enjoy this show, why not leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. In fact, I read your reviews every day. I've got some of the reviews up right now that I'd love to shout out. So we've got a recent review from Brandon Wesley and he says, I love the young and profiting podcast. My life is given hope, love and excitement every time I listen to the podcast. Each episode gives life to the listener and provides detail on key specific to improve your daily life and improve your business and family life. I love the podcast because of compassionate conversations and powerful advice on creating success. I'm thankful for this podcast and the wonderful community created by this podcast. Thank you for the daily inspiration given and your podcast will make a very positive impact on the world. I love taking notes on each podcast and my favorite part of the day is listening to this podcast. Thank you. No Brandon thank you for taking the time to write such an amazing review.

I appreciate you so much. We love you here at young and profiting podcast. The next one is from Ars Dee from Great Britain. Hi Holla. Your interview with Patrick Lencioni was exceptional, providing valuable insights into our working geniuses for individuals and teams for high performance. Thank you so much arth for listening to the podcast. I appreciate it. I loved that episode with Patrick Lencioni on working geniuses as well. Thanks for tuning in. And the next review is from Ivan Abreu Luciano and he's from the US and he says this is dope. To be honest, this review is very simple. This is a great podcast if you're a young professional looking to stay up to date on the type of mindset needed to be successful. A lot of podcasts interview leaders in their industries with decades of experience. But here you get a great group of young entrepreneurs building great things. Would definitely recommend. Well, thank you so much Ivan. I interview a lot of young entrepreneurs. I also interview a lot of old entrepreneurs, but always from the lens of young entrepreneurs. So I appreciate you so much. And I just appreciate everybody who takes the time to write a review.

I read your reviews all the time. They mean so much to me. So please take a couple minutes. If you listen to this podcast, please tell me why. Please tell me a little bit about yourself, who you are, why you listen when you listen. I'd love to know. I truly would love to know. It helps me understand who I'm reaching, how you guys are tuning in, how I can create a better show for you. Let me know in the reviews. If you guys want to watch us on YouTube, you can find us on there. If you want to find me on Instagram, it's appwithala on LinkedIn. Just search for my name. It's halataha.

Of course.

I gotta say thank you so much to my yap fam. I love my yap bam production team. I love my yap bam listeners. I love you all. This is your host halataha, aka the podcast princess, signing off.

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