Transcript of Live from Phoenix: The Ramsey Show on Tour New

I have a sister. Before she even said "I do," leading up to the wedding, she said, "I will get pregnant immediately. Like, I expect you to set up my baby registry. I want you to help me buy the car seat. I want the stroller." And what did you do?

We're a little stressed out.

What is a completely irrational fear that you have?

I don't drive behind the big tractor-trailer trucks that have all the cars loaded on it.

I really do have a fear that I am going to be convicted of murder.

My adult son moved back home. We are charging him roommate rent. Do we return it to him?

How—

wait, really, y'all?

He's a daggum grown man.

How old is he? 31.

Aww! Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network, brought to you by Fairwinds Credit Union, live from Phoenix, Arizona, this is The Ramsey Show. Yes! So good to be in this room. What a beautiful crowd, a loud crowd, and we're ready to go. We're ready to learn from each other. So let's get it started. First question up is Courtney. Give Courtney some love. There she is. What's your question?

What's your question? Well, first, thanks for having me. I'm kind of nervous, very excited.

You're gonna do great.

Okay, my question is, it's kind of embarrassing, but my husband and I have combined our incomes. This is, we've only been married for about 5 years, and I find I'm having a hard time with resentment sometimes, 'cause I make a little bit more money, but he likes to spend the money. So I know it's right biblically, it's been great for us to combine our incomes, but I'm just wondering what steps I can do to change my heart on this issue and like not struggle with that resentment, if that makes any sense.

Is he in the room?

He's not in the room. No, he's at work.

He's at work making some money.

When you say overspend— exactly, he's working, making money.

Yeah.

When you say he's spending more, like, what does that look like? Give us an example. Is it he's just running over to, you know, the gas station and buying a Mountain Dew and Corn Nuts, or he's like buying golf clubs? Like, what does it look like? Um, I know it's probably more like like to him, like we have the EveryDollar app and everything. And so, we've made, you know, line items. And some of that, you know, we have to kind of figure out like what goes where, but we have like a general one for Amazon. So, for him, he's like, "Look at all that money in the Amazon. I'm just gonna, you know, get socks and shirts. And you know what? My truck needs this." Well, there's your problem. I know. You gotta change that line item. So, I think part of that is like we're trying to, well, And what started this was I said something really snarky about a week ago, and we got in a big fight about it. And we ended up working it out. But part of that was trying to figure out, I think maybe, how to differentiate that.

You need to. A bit more.

Well, wait a second. Is he going over the Amazon budget, or is he just spending it all on himself before you get a chance to get in there? Oh, that's it right there. Boy, this guy should have been here tonight. Jumping the gun.

But in his defense, it's not resentful. He's just like, "There's money there. I'm getting myself a shirt." Well, that's my next question.

Is he on board with the Baby Steps and your goals?

Yes, yeah, he was a little bit reluctant, but once we started doing the plan and seeing, you know, the benefit to us in terms of like, oh wow, you know, we can really put money towards retirement and we can do all these things, you know, we paid off our debt and, you know, all these things, it's been really great. Do you have separate fund money line items in addition to the Amazon catch-all? We do.

We do.

Listen, if it were me, I would just break it up. Yeah. Or, 'cause right now it just says Amazon. Is it like for, is it for like household items and he's using it for fun things, or it literally is just to your heart's content on Amazon, as long as you stay in that line item. And that's part of it. We haven't like really delineated what it's for.

It's just been—

I would break that up, bust it up immediately. And/or, because if he's using it as fun money, that lets me know maybe his fun money needs to be bumped up. And if you're feeling resentful because you're not able to spend it, maybe your fun money needs to be bumped up. And then maybe the Amazon category turns into, I don't know, like household items or something that's very specific that we're buying on Amazon, just because there's no clarity. I think that's the problem, right?

Yeah, and for me, it's a— there's a value system difference, right? And so, I'm probably more on your husband's team in our marriage. Honestly, I'm probably more him and Winston's probably more you. And I think the frustration can be that he doesn't value X, Y, and Z. So, he sees a purchase or you see your husband spending, you know, and maybe the thought is, your knee-jerk reaction is like, that's so stupid. That feels wasteful. That's— That's silly, we don't need that. Like that, it feels, you know what I'm saying? Like—

I do, but then I'm like, our argument was over personal hygiene products, like skin cream and stuff. And historically, men, Ken, how much do you spend on your face cream?

Oh, Ken is—

That's a very good question.

Ken is not like any other man. No, no, no, no, no.

Do you even have face cream?

It's not what you think. No, I do.

No, Ken is a bougie man.

I am.

So he's actually, him and George Campbell, see, would be great ones to ask.

I have one bottle of Kiehl's, and it's about yay big, and that's all I do. This lady, what she makes Sam go through, it's unbelievable. That man knows about face cream.

And I'm just trying to make us age at the same time.

Here's what I wanna say.

That's me too. No, guys.

But here's the thing.

I guessed.

Have you guys talked about this last situation?

We did.

And what was the result?

'Cause it's not the face cream that's the issue though, right? No.

Well.

It just bubbled up. That was the last straw.

It's all the other purchasing that's happening.

You guys have identified it, but I'm coming on the air on the back end of this.

When you discussed it, what was his response?

Well, his response was, he was, we were trying to figure out how much to put on that, you know, line item. And he's like, "Well, what about $50?" And I'm like, "Mm, no, that's not enough every month for my face cream." And he's like, "Well, what about $100?" And I was on the spot. I was like, "Oh, how much do I spend?" And then, and I kinda, and he goes, "Well, if you need, if we need that much money every month, how about $50 for me extra for my fun money?" And I was like, And that was what I was like, why does it always mean spending more? You know what I mean?

Okay, so I think you get great advice from Jade. I do think that you're gonna have to communicate some boundaries. And if he really is on board with this, he's got to, you know, he's gotta play ball. And I would tell him, if he were here tonight, I'd go, hey man, you need to grovel a little bit. And you need to step into this. 'Cause I'm also a spender and I appreciate what Rachel said. This is a communication issue, number one, but I will tell you, this is, we've got to make sure we understand understand our triggers with this stuff. Because you guys, the way this went, I'm not criticizing you at all, but what I'm hearing is, Rachel, is that we went back and forth like volleyball.

And if you're good in marriage, if it has to be that, yeah, you're this, then I have to this, this, right?

That's right.

It's an exhausting scoreboard to keep up with, right?

And he did identify that. He goes, uh, I realized I just kind of triggered you when I said, oh, I was going to spend more money, you know, because that's my trigger.

It's a good man. Hey, this is brass tacks, real, real conversation. And go, we can't play this one-upmanship. I do think her The answer is the solve, but you're gonna have to not just do it on paper. You're gonna have to actually behave that way.

Yeah, and I like fun money categories because then you go and spend it. You don't, like, when Sam spends his money, half the time, I don't even know what he's spending it on, and I don't ask, 'cause honestly, I don't care. And same thing for me. And I think as long as it's living in that catch-all, then you get to ask him, "Well, what happened to that $50? What happened to this money?" And I think just letting yourselves go and do your thing and be free. And by the way, it's a great thing I've learned that fun money can carry over until the following month, which that might also help you out a little bit. Yeah, we did make it a whatever that's called where it's like a— Carry it over. Yeah.

Add it to the next one.

Yeah, the next one. Yes.

That it keeps moving.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

By the way, your skin looks fantastic. Can I just tell you that?

It does.

The cream is worth it. Thank you.

Yes, thank you.

You guys are gonna give her some love. Thank you so much for that question. Okay.

But the judgment The free zone on spending is big though, in marriage. Don't y'all think?

Say more. Yeah.

Yeah. 'Cause that's what you were saying.

You're not gonna value the same stuff.

You're not gonna value the same stuff. Winston bought a red light thing.

Oh yeah.

I don't even know.

Yeah.

And I was like, I don't get it. That's great. I don't get it. But you know what I mean? I want other things. And so, but it, it's that constant. I don't wanna feel like I'm having to hide a purchase, justify a purchase constantly.

Right?

We're both adults. We're both, and regardless of again, who brings it in, as a household, we get to enjoy our money. So, that's what we're present.

So, the impulse spenders like me, I mean, I just go sometimes, I'm not even trying to buy something and I see it and I go, "Oh, I want it." You're an impulse spender? Oh yeah.

I did not peg you for that.

Are you being serious right now?

Yes.

All of these years.

Are you shocked by that?

No, no. No.

But I'm not like, I'm not irresponsible.

But I could also see Kim being like, "Look at these boots. I've been looking at these for months." I just can't wait to buy them.

Well, you're so intentional. That's what I'm thinking. You've had your eye on it.

Oh, I'm very intentional. I see it, and I go, I intend to buy those. No, I get it. No, my point is that that is so huge in our marriage, because then it's like, it's OK. We're not worried about— we're not keeping score.

That's it.

Scorekeeping is big.

Yeah, OK. Ladies and gentlemen, give some love to Megan, who's up next. Megan. Megan, tell us where you're from.

I grew up in San Bernardino, California, but recently moved to Prescott, Arizona. Scott, Arizona. Um, just closed on my first home a little less than a month ago.

Hey, hey, let's give that some love! That's pretty cool.

Um, my partner and I, we paid off close to $100,000 in debt, um, and closed on our first home in March. And our current— it, it's not an argument, he backs me 100%, um, but my question is What would you do in this situation where I have a sister who has 3 beautiful boys, and for the first and the third, I went above and beyond. I bought the car seat, I bought the stroller, I bought like at least 3 months worth of diapers, um, just easily spent probably, let's say, around 2 grand. For her first and her third. I have another sister who, now that she's expecting, has that same expectation, although her circumstances are different, where she has the supportive partner that my sister did not. And so what would you do, or what would you say, to the sister of the, "Look, I want to give you a gift, but situations are different." Is the reason because— and just be real with us— is the reason because you don't have the money to help anymore, or is it a personal thing? Like, is it truly like, "We're not that close, and I just don't feel compelled to help her in that way," or is it— like, tell us more about your reason, your person.

Forget their expectation, your personal reason why it's like, "Ah, I don't feel compelled to give in that way." So financially, I have the means to do so, um, but also in some ways I also don't because my partner and I are struggling with infertility, and so we're looking into infertility treatments and we don't know what that would cost. Got you. Um, so we do want to be mindful of that. Um, but also there is a little bit of a relational difference between sisters. And does it also feel different, the expectation? Because I'm guessing the first sister, you just did that of your own volition, or was she coming to you saying, hey, I need you to do XYZ? Um, so with, with the first sister, with her first, it was— I was so excited to have a nephew that would be within close proximity that I could love and I could spoil. With her third, It was the father literally left the state when he found out that she was pregnant. She had no support at all. And so I'm like, okay, let me help you out. Tell me what you need.

What about the second child? I'm feeling bad for this kid.

I know, right?

As middle children.

You keep saying first and third. I'm like, that kid's gonna be scarred. Anybody else thinking that?

As little children, little children.

No, no, actually it doesn't matter. Between the first and the third, it's like less than an 18-month difference. So, he had the hand-me-downs. And he still gets the love. He's fine.

I don't think he is, but that's okay. All right, so here's a—

I wanna know, is this, your sister that's pregnant now, has she verbally said to you like, "Hey, this is the car seat." Is she like, what are those conversations like? Are you putting that expectation on yourself?

So, the conversation that took place was before she even said, "I do," leading up to the wedding, she said, "When I get pregnant, which I will get pregnant immediately." And I'm like, "Okay, good for you." She was like, "I expect you to set up my baby registry. I want you to help me buy the car seat. I want the stroller. I want this, that, and the next." And what did you do?

Boo-boo. I said, "We'll see." Okay, here's what's going on. Wow, okay. So a lesson, all right? Family members get expectations in their head. And I heard something earlier, and this is not on you, but I'm just going to point this out, okay? You gave willingly to the other because you thought she needed it. There was a need there. You don't think this other sister needs it. That is your— that's your view. And I'm not saying you're wrong, but I think you have to own that. And you have to understand that it's not right for her to say what she said. That's why the audience gasped. That was cray cray. However, we cannot control our family members and people do get expectations because you were such a great sister. I'm wrapping up, but I just want to say this. Well, I got two women on both sides of me. When they're ready to talk, I got to wrap it up. I can feel it. You need to own the fact that you created an expectation. You didn't do anything wrong. But she took it that way and she's gone over the top. She's crazy wrong. Just calling it out.

But I think you're going to have to stick to your guns and say, I don't feel like this is what I should be doing. And I would absolutely say we're in a different season of life. We're trying to have a baby and this could be very, very expensive. Stacy and I walked through that. I know exactly the journey you're considering. And I think you have to stick to your guns there and say, I can't do this right now and here's why. And I'm sorry that you have this expectation. "but I can't do that." And you're gonna have to be okay with the results. If not, I think she's gonna hold you hostage, and then it's gonna be even uglier than it already is. That's my 2 cents on that. Ladies?

Well, I just wanna say, it's not your responsibility.

Oh no.

Like, you've put that on you. You know what I mean? And I think you have to own that in you. You can only control you. And Ken's right, when you put up a boundary with a boundaryless person, it doesn't go well. It doesn't go well. There's no boundaries there. There's no consideration. There's no gratitude. There's no compassion or empathy if she knows what you're going through. I mean, there's none of that from her. And that's regard— that makes it sound like it's conditional, that if she was really nice, she'd want to give. But I think starting baseline, you have to understand, this is not my responsibility. And so, what's within you is what you can control. And so, that's what I would encourage you to find that inside yourself, that this is And it's not a selfish thing, but you're not their mom. You know, you're not their guardian. They're not little kids. They're grown adults, just like you are. So, it's not your responsibility.

Well said.

Thank you. I was— yeah, I was just gonna add on there, and I actually wouldn't give a lot of details. "I'm trying to fund, you know, this," or "My financial situation has changed." You're grown. You don't have to say that. I think you can just say, "Don't have, you know, don't have that expectation. I won't be able to do that this time." And just keep it simple because once you start rolling out the reasons and the reasons, that's you kind of apologizing for it. And to Rachel's point, you don't have to apologize for it.

And under no circumstance do you let her bully you into doing something. Once you make this decision, the line has been drawn in the sand. You understand?

Yeah.

All right, you don't wanna be a prisoner to anybody in your family. Y'all give her some love. That's a tough, tough job. All right, up next, welcome to the microphone, Cameron. There he comes.

It's like a catwalk.

Yeah, that's quite a walk. Yeah, you did good. I perfected it. You did great. You're gonna do my, my wave. That's great. I don't think that's your look, but that's okay. All right, Cameron, where are you from? Where are you from? I'm from San Tan Valley. Okay. Just outside of Phoenix. Okay, some of your neighbors are here. This lady gave holy hands, that's very exciting. All right, what's your question? Yeah, so I'd like to start with the question and then I'll give you a little bit of background. My question is, how do you know when to take a risk on maybe a side business that you're working on versus also while trying to provide for a family. Okay, now a little bit of background. I'm 32, I'm married, I have a daughter. As of today, she's 20 months old, so young daughter.

Thank you.

And we have another baby on the way. Oh, congrats. So the business I'm working on is kind of based off of reading your book, Find the Work You're Wired to Do. And I have a passion for it. It, it brings me joy. I, I love it. Um, but it's just a side business right now. Are you making any money with it at all?

I am.

I'm making a little bit of money and it's starting to— How much? It's, it's a couple thousand a month. And that's after expenses?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Okay, great. After expenses. Okay, great. So the business is like, I, I go around the Valley and I help other businesses sell products that are just kind of just haven't been sold and they're sitting on their shelves and need to move inventory. And so this kind of like good, fast, cheap. Sure. It works with all of those. Yeah. So I've been kind of pursuing that and I enjoy the connections and the sales process behind it. What's the challenge you're asking about tonight? So the challenge is, do I focus my attention on trying to build that or Do I just continue with my career path I'm kind of on, but I also have the baby on the way, I have my family I'm trying to support, so I'm kind of juggling a lot. Yeah, so I think it's pretty simple. I think the fact that you are making some actual profit, and a couple grand a month is nothing to sneeze at when I've got another baby on the way.

How much time do you spend a month getting that couple thousand? Like in a week, how many hours do you work?

It varies quite a bit. Give us an average. Yeah, so let's say average, probably 10 hours a week. So is mama gonna want you to stop working that extra 10 hours a week when baby 2 comes along? Very possible, maybe for a short time. So I think it's okay to press pause on that because it's not your inventory. It's not like you're stuck with a bunch of inventory on your shelves that's, you know, I gotta get my money back. This is something where you're going out hustling, finding some stuff, and you're a reseller, which I really applaud you on that. So I think it does come down to the amount of hours we're gonna work. And if she says, okay, well, you're in 40 hours a month, 10 hours a week average, You're bringing home $2,000 a month. Yeah. Is she okay with that? And maybe we want that $2,000 a month. I will tell you this, I don't know what Rachel and Jay think, but I would be doing it all the way up until the baby's born to stack as much cash as possible.

Absolutely.

Were you hoping to make that your full-time career eventually?

I would like to.

Okay.

I would like to make it as a business that I can run. Okay, I'll give you this.

So in this season.

Scale on. So in this season, I would just, whatever, I already gave you what I think you should talk with her about. Okay, now going forward. 'Cause I know where your question is. Like, when do I know? When do I walk from my career to that?

Yeah.

Is that the question? Yeah, exactly. Super simple. You ready?

Mm-hmm.

When you have a minimum of 6 months of your current salary, okay, in your day job, I would want a minimum 6 months. I personally would do 12 months. Okay? That's super conservative. They've heard me say this on the show before, but I'd say 6 to 12 months of your current salary, your day job in this side company bank account. Before I would ever walk from the day job, because you don't want the kind of pressure to survive on a new business. You want a pipeline. You want to prove that I found my places in the Valley. They're used to me now. They're calling me. They're calling 3 or 4 other businesses to say, hey, you got some extra inventory? This is your guy. You need to build the pipeline plus the bank account before I'd ever even think about moving on. Yeah, I think, financially speaking, that makes— It makes sense. Also, it's kind of, you know, when the next baby comes, they got 2 babies, and then we got everything else we're trying to work on in life, saving up for expenses. We just recently paid off our last debt just 2 weeks ago.

Congrats. So you're on baby step 3. So we've been hustling and doing all this. And so I guess it was just kind of like, it feels like there's a lot of things going on, a lot of things moving right now. Then pull it back. And maybe pause, but for how long?

You guys decide, and you guys need to be intentional about it, right? And to say, okay, let's give it 90 days and pause it for 90 days, and let's regroup and look at 90 days. How are we both feeling? Like, you need to be in sync with her in this process, because if you have a spouse that, you know, if you guys— now, it's one thing if she's like, go, go make money, I don't care, like, do what you gotta do, right? Because there's seasons of grind, and you're both on the same page. And even though there'll be hard, hard days in the grind season, you both are aligned. The worst is when one spouse is like, "I'm gonna go do my things. I feel over here," and the other one's like, "This is not what I want my life to look like." Then you start to walk two different paths. So, closely aligned. And you're both adults. You get to make decisions, right? You both get to say, after 90 days or whatever the timeline is, like, "I'm feeling good. This is good." Or, "Uh, let's wait one more month, and then after the summer's over," whatever it looks like.

So, but just breathe. You're okay.

You guys make the decision together. Hey, give this guy— he's so wound tight right now. He's got another baby on the way. Give him some love. Thank you, buddy. Appreciate you. Thank you. You bet. All right. Up next, coming to the mic is Raluca. Raluca, give her some love. There we go. I got to say this. Can I brag? Can I brag? She was at the Chicago event last fall. Yeah. So she's like— she's making the tour stops with us.

That's right.

Fantastic. Okay. Step up to the mic and tell us your question.

Okay. I'm Raluca from Omaha, Nebraska.

And we got one other person.

Great.

Very exciting. All right. Omaha. Okay.

So is it wrong to want to invest in the stock market like S&P 500 instead of becoming a homeowner with your first home purchase? I'm, I'm very content at renting right now. I'm renting a house, have a roommate. And my rent's $1,200. I do have a 6-month emergency fund, well over that.

So I guess I'm working on a down payment, step 3B.

I'm not the stereotypical wanting to get into a house as a single, single Pringle, but— How long is that your plan? How long do you plan on riding that out?

I guess if I had to throw a number out there, 10 years.

If I saved up for 10 years, then maybe. And are you investing some of the money in retirement and also some of it in a fund that you could get to, like a brokerage account?

Correct, correct, yes.

Do my 15% for the 401 with work, and then also just regular brokerage account. I mean, on the one hand, Obviously, if you don't have the money to purchase a home yet, it makes sense that you would continue to save up. And if you know the horizon is greater than 5 years, yeah, sure, it makes sense to go ahead and invest that money. I don't want to ask you how old you are in front of all these folks.

29.

Oh, you're— There you go.

I was going to ask anyway.

It's good.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with renting for a season of life, for a period of life. We were talking earlier, it's expensive to own a home, and especially if it's not something you're interested in right now, I don't think that's a bad thing. However, I do think long term there is going to be a time where you're going to want to stabilize that line item on your budget. And the only way you really can do that is by purchasing a home. And we do find that it is a major part of people's wealth-building potential, right? When we did the biggest study of millionaires, we found, yeah, owning a home is a huge part of becoming a Baby Steps millionaire. And so for that reason, I would want that on, you know, in the cards for you in the future. But if you're saving towards it, So, for you, honestly, you're probably gonna be at the point where you buy it in cash because you're such an investor, you're such a saver. I don't think there's anything wrong with that and writing out that timeline. You could be 40 when you buy your first house in cash.

Yeah, I don't mind that. I don't mind that.

That's a huge win. And you know what's great about this? The freedom that comes with this. You're just stacking cash. You're gonna be in a position to do that, but you've also got a lot of freedom. So, I think in your position, I love that advice.

I do too. I'm excited for you, honestly. Good for you. By the way, you're crushing it.

You know what I mean? I love to see that you're crushing it. Yeah, that's awesome. Thanks for coming tonight. Yeah, definitely. All right, very fun. Are you coming to, are you gonna make the trip with us down to Anaheim?

Whew, I don't know about that.

Okay, no pressure, I was just kidding.

Maybe, I'll come down to Tennessee.

I'll see you guys there. That is fun, we'll see you there. All right, that is fun stuff.

So good, so good. Thank you. Thanks for the question, yeah. Thank you. Be a great investor. I love that. Okay, question in the room. How many of you guys are in a position where someone is dependent upon your income?

Of income?

A spouse, kids in the room, anything? Yes, okay, so it's a good bit. And there's a lot of people that listen to us or that are watching The Ramsey Show right now, and that is the case. And I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is when they don't get life insurance. And it's one of the saddest— Yes.

People are clapping for life insurance. We know we're The Ramsey Show.

That's what we love, right?

That's what we love. No, but really, it is, and people get confused because it's not a baby step. Okay, if someone is dependent upon your income, you need term life insurance. And we love Zander Insurance, and Jeff Zander, we've worked with for decades, and they really are the best place to buy it. So if you do not have term life insurance, you guys, regardless of your Baby Step, it is something you need to get.

Yeah, and I would even add to that, a lot of people get it twisted because they think life insurance is a Baby Step. It's not. Like, you do it the moment that you find out about it. So if you're in Baby Step 2, you still need term life insurance. And it's so simple, guys. Again, if something happens to you, anybody who depends on your income, if something happened to you, they're covered. And that's so important. You don't have to worry, are they gonna be able to keep the house? Are they gonna be able to keep continuing life at that level? And we do recommend 10 to 12 times your income. And it's super easy. It's straightforward. Guys, just go with Zander because they're not trying to sell you a wealth-building tool. They're simply trying to sell you protection.

Yeah, and it's inexpensive too. And if you are a stay-at-home parent, you need life insurance. And we used to say half a million on a stay-at-home parent, but honestly, I would, I would bump it up.

I'd go as high as you can go.

I mean, seriously, yes. Yes, but if you are healthy, especially you guys, like this is one of the things that everyone needs to have. Again, I said earlier, but it is, it's one of the saddest calls we get when people don't have it and they lose a spouse.

Crazy. I remember when we realized I had 3 kids and I was like, I gotta step it up, right? And plus the income changed. And I remember it was so affordable. I got so much insurance on me, I didn't trust Stacy when I went to bed.

That's simple.

It's like a Dateline special.

Yes.

I was like very jittery.

So go to zander.com and get your instant quote online. That's zander.com with a Z.

And by the way, Jeff Zander, guys, been friends of Dave's for a long time. Great dude, solid company. Can't trust anybody anymore. By the way, speaking of which, I wanna thank our friends at Fairwinds. You know they're the sponsor of our studio in Nashville, and because of them, we're able to do an incredible tour like this. So we wanna say thank you again to our friends at Fairwinds Credit Union. Fantastic group, you need to check them out. We really trust them as well. So would you thank them for making this tour a reality? Really, really awesome. While the Ramsey Show is out here in Phoenix, I thought I'd wander over to Arizona State and ask the next generation how they're handling money. Tell me the dumbest thing you've done with money thus far. I like to follow K-pop. Have you spent over $1,000 on K-pop related things? $3,000, I think. $3,000? Buy a spoiler for my car. A spoiler? What kind of car is this? A Mustang. Oh, wow. Is it still on there right now? Yeah, it is. I mean, why take it off? You already spent the money. What'd that cost? Like $300.

Oh, that's not bad. I went on Vacation, first spring break, put it all on my credit card pretty much.

If I were to cover the tab at a restaurant and they sell me, I think it's free cash.

So you've weaponized your own generosity to cause you to spend even more?

Yeah.

It's a pretty wild take.

Went to Vegas and gambled my money away.

How much did you lose?

Oh, together I lost about $2,000 in my winnings.

Since I'm a Dragon Ball fan, I guess you can see where I'm going with this, I bought like a lot of action figures. How many? Over 9,000!

Uh, 10. 10.

You have 10. How much have you spent on Dragon Ball Z related things in your life? $500 to $600. When I was like 14, I spent $100 on like a Tanner Fox meet and greet. What is that? He's a stupid YouTuber I watched when I was like 14. Do you pay $100 to meet Dave Ramsey?

Probably not, no.

Sorry, Dave. Sorry, Dave. So, um, you guys have been asking us questions, so we'll get to more of those, but this is the part of the night where Jade, Rachel, we like to flip the script. And, uh, so we're gonna ask you some questions and just kind of shout out to us. We'll kind of behave and we'll figure it out. So I want to start with Jade, uh, you get to flip the script. What's a question you want to know from the audience?

Yeah, I want to know if you've ever bought something simply because you were influenced on the internets to buy it. You were talked into it.

So we got mics on either side, so raise your hand and then our mic runners will get to you.

Maybe it's like the dumbest thing too.

Yeah, and it was stupid. Like, it was something possibly you regret.

Raise your hands again. We got to get them up. So we—

or maybe it was really awesome and you can tell us about about it, and we can get one too.

Where's my mic, guys? Wes, you got them right in front of you. Here we go. Yes, sir. What's your name? Jamel. Boy, you got a voice. It's not the first time you've had a mic in your hands. Listen to this. My wife was like, put me over here. We have horses and stuff, and there was, uh, some lights, just regular— what are they? They're just 3 lights that are on this thing. Well, I'm not tracking the horses and the lights, so what are we talking about? Yeah, it was pretty stupid, I gather. So yeah, I bought one just to check it out and then went back on Amazon and went back online and I looked and they had them like 20% off, so I ended up buying 5. Now they're sitting in my office in a box. What do the lights have to do with the horses? So I'd be able to see them instead of trying to— oh, they're like floodlights. Yeah, like floodlights. But yeah, what was the total cost of all the lights? I don't know, I think it was probably $200, maybe more. $200. And you saw this from an influencer or somebody else?

I saw it on Facebook. Well, did they do the job? Did they at least work?

He doesn't know, they're still on his deck. I got one up and it lights the whole area. Oh, this is true. I still got 5.

Sir, it's called a return.

I'm past that already. Oh, you're past the window? I'm past that already. Well, you might have to replace the original, so, you know.

Ken, do you need any lights? I see your horses, Ken.

Me and animals, I just kind of watch them on TV. Thank you, sir. That's very good. Do we have another— do we have a specific— let's get a couple more. One more of those. I saw hands. Right, this gentleman in the orange shirt with the lovely bald head back there, stand up. Sir, what's your name? Brad. Yes, Brad, tell us the dumb thing or tell us your story. I don't think it's dumb. We'll find out. Why are you standing then? So I'm a cyclist and I watch a show, NorCal Cycling, and they kept talking about ketones. And so I decided to look at— go on to ketones, and they give you energy when you're doing a race, because I race my bike. But they're like $120 for like 26, and they're like this big. So for months and months and months, maybe even over a year, I decided not to buy them. But then I finally went to the site the other day, and they were on sale for $80, and my wife saw the expense, which my lovely wife— I can see her now. Her hand is at her head and she's just like, "I can't believe it." Called me on the phone and asked me what it was.

And I was like, "It's something I thought I needed." That's what you said? Yeah. I thought you would've went hard on the, "I need this for cycling." You waited a year. Well, I don't know if I need it yet. We'll see if it works. Oh. Does anybody know if ketones work? I don't think anybody in this room has ever heard of a ketone. Did I get scammed? I don't know. Look it up. Keystone, ketones, energy, Ketone IQ. I don't think it's a good idea. I really don't. I think you should talk to this other guy and you can band together and send it all back. You don't think buying Ketone IQ is high IQ? I don't think so. Okay. But hey, I appreciate that you're out there cycling.

Yes.

By the way, just want to say to all cyclists, could you guys get over a little bit? No, no, no, don't give him the mic, Wes. No, because they don't know. No.

They—

yes. We're in the cars, you're on the bike. Get over on the side a little bit. Drives me bananas.

We had a whole happy— George Campbell and I did a whole thing.

Did you guys talk about this?

Yes, and I'm so sorry, not to pick on you, but yes, at like 5 o'clock during rush hour on this small— and I'm like, do you hate your family?

Like, why do you want to die? Or do you hate humanity?

Why do you want to die?

You're holding us all up. I just want to get home. Anyway, fun stuff.

We love you though.

We do love you, sir. Just, there's a lot of pent-up anger at cyclists I've got. Okay, I have a fun question, I think. Is there anybody in here that's willing to share, uh, maybe an ethically questionable move you've made to save money? Yes, I see that hand right here. Keep your hand up so we can get to you. Stand up, sir. I like you. What is your name? Anthony. Anthony, what is this ethically questionable thing you did to save money? So I ran this by a couple of my friends. That was a good decision. It's okay. Well, I'm a travel nurse and I go throughout the whole country kind of working everywhere. And I was doing a stint in Harlem. And when I was there, I stayed in an apartment that was completely empty. Empty, didn't have a bed or anything, so I ordered one online that had like, I think it was like a 6-month return policy, and I was only there for 6 months, and it came in a box, so it made it up to the top of the apartment, and it was a free return, and they picked it up in the city, and technically I didn't need it anymore.

So—

And it was within the 6-month window. It was within the 6-month window, but I think I violated the spirit of the return policy. Because you slept on it. You slept on it. For how many months did you sleep on it? 6 months. Oh, right at the wire. Right up to the line. You need to go see this gentleman with the extra floodlights. He needs some mentoring from you. That's pretty questionable. It's right in that gray zone.

I mean, how much money did you save?

Oh, how much money did you save? What did you save? It was one of those nice, like, king ones. I got free sheets out of it and pillows. Oh, wow. Did you keep the sheets? Did you keep the sheets? I did, 'cause they let you. Okay, I want the—

That's a George Camel thing. How many of y'all have used something and returned it? Like, well knowing— Oh, shame on all of you. Shame on you.

Wait a second, I want the audience to vote.

Does it depend on what it is?

No.

You've used it?

Well, like, sometimes you get a pair of shoes and you're like, these are terrible.

Okay, no, that's fair.

You wear it after one day, not 6 months at the office.

Yeah, okay.

I'm just saying, you walk around for a day in them, you're like, I need to do it.

Show of hands, if you think Anthony was unethical, raise your hand. I bought it with every intention of returning it. No judgment, this is just, if you would have done what Anthony did, raise your hand. I love it. There's some cheap people in this room.

I would split.

George would be so proud, wouldn't he?

Yeah, George used a vacuum cleaner, y'all, for like 5 years at Costco and he She was like, it doesn't work anymore. And I'm like, yeah, because you've been using it for 5 years and did a return. I was like, oh my gosh, funny.

Well, now that's funny.

You're a trooper.

I appreciate it. You're a trooper.

All right, okay, so you got one question.

This is going to take some, some, you know, don't make me feel on the point.

I don't know, is that okay to say? It takes some balls from the audience.

Rachel Cruz.

Then I thought, the lady's in here anyways. Okay, when and what was the last marital argument you had about money?

Who wants to share?

It's gonna take some courage.

There we go, in the back of the room.

I see it.

That's what I want.

Stand up, stand up.

Tell us what it is.

She's not even here to defend herself. Oh no. First of all, what's your name? My name's Andrew. I actually called 6 or 8 weeks ago about my type 1 diabetic daughter, and I wanna thank you guys for how you—

I remember that call.

I wanted to thank you for how you handled that, and she's doing great, and I wanted to appreciate you guys. Oh my gosh. That's great. Who's on this call? I remember that.

Yeah, I don't know, but my friend, I was telling you her daughter had it. Yes, I totally remember talking. Uh, who was it? George? Who was with me? George or Delaney?

No, it was Ken. It was you and Ken.

You made such an impact on Ken.

Boy, I feel pretty stupid right now. No, you guys did a fantastic job. If you gave me a few more details, I would know, but, uh, glad she's doing well. No, she's doing great. I appreciate that. But the last marital conflict that we had over money was I'm into baseball. I'm a D-backs fan. Go D-backs. They're going to do something this year. I really do think so. So I'm a big Diamondbacks, Diamondbacks. Yeah, you gotta be careful— Don't shake your head! You can't shake your head.

No, no, we just misheard you.

Oh okay. You said D-backs really fast. It sounded like something else, that's all. Well, I want to— We live in San Tan Valley, go San Tan Valley. So it's a 45-50 minute drive to the stadium so we don't go to games all the time. Sure. So I want the baseball package to watch the games on Hulu. Home. We have had a couple of intense moments of fellowship last year about how many games I was watching a week, and then— but then I promptly blamed my son for it, uh, because he wants to watch them too. And so I tried to bring him into it, and my wife didn't fall for it. Pro move, by the way. I got 4 kids. I have the most kids. I'll use them for anything. And, um, but anyways, that didn't work either. And so, um, so she told me no, and I was like, all right, I guess that, that ship's over. But then this this year, I was able to say, well, I get a student discount 'cause I got one last year. It was only $120 last year. And she gave me the go ahead. She's like, go ahead, just do it.

It's gonna be fine. And I said, cool. It was $220 and she didn't say anything about it until 5 minutes after I did it. She's like, it's $220? You said go ahead. I didn't know what to do. So that was like the last major thing that we got into. How'd that finish out? What's the rest of the story? I rushed the game before the thing started tonight, so we're doing just fine. Right. Well guys, If you can get away with it, that's a great move. All right, thanks for sharing.

That was good.

That was good. Uh, do we have another one of those? These are really good. Okay, I've got a question. We'll do one more and we'll get back to, uh, your questions. Does anybody have a really weird or peculiar hobby that costs, you know, a decent amount of change? Anybody got a hobby? Right here, I see— oh, we see two right here. Let's start back here, right in the middle with the hoodie. Yes, stand up. We'll get to to you. Here comes Katie. Oh, I can't wait. I love this. Real quick, tell us your name and what the hobby is.

My name is Margaret.

Okay, Margaret.

And it's not my hobby, but it's a family thing.

Okay.

Club sports.

Oh, sports like as in what, soccer, basketball?

Yeah, my son's in club soccer, my daughter's in club softball, my daughter plays golf, and all our money money goes to sports.

I feel like it's a confession. And is this a confession? Oh, you just turned it—

somebody didn't play sports growing up and somebody did.

Oh God, this got a little deeper than I thought it was going to. Okay, now wait a second. You just stood up and just totally threw him under the bus and backed up over him, and he still got the thumbs up. Do you guys need it? Do you guys need an intervention, or are you guys okay? You got You got margin?

We got margin.

So you can afford this?

That's what we just spend our money on. But you have no weekends and no life. And no nights. She is not happy about her life.

Would you like us to weigh in on this or no?

No.

I appreciate the honesty. Well, I will say this 'cause you didn't ask me to, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. You guys need to have, no, I'm serious. You guys need to have a real conversation 'cause what has been done in jest here tonight has got some seriousness underneath it. Under it. And I'm gonna tell you something else, to you, sir, and I grew up playing every sport. I did. Played everything. But I grew up in an era where there was no club sports, right? It was just rec league and all that stuff. Your kids are probably not gonna go pro.

We know that.

Well, then why are we spending all of our money and all of our time on something that is not gonna ROI? You don't have to answer it. I'm not being unkind. I don't mind, but I'm just gonna be really honest with you, 'cause I think underneath the jokes and the thumbs up and everything, we're a little stressed out.

We're not stressed out financially about it, we're just—

We're just stressed out. We're stressed out relationally.

We can't do 'cause we're spending the money on that.

I think you guys need to have a date and let's cut back. The kids are gonna be fine. All right, give them some love. That's a fun confession there. I'm very passionate about that because—

I agree, yeah.

And that's a hot button topic. You put that out on the internets.

Well, I know that I—

About travel sports and opinions.

For that, but the data backs me up and, and all the specialization in youth sports right now. Let's make it very clear. And this is a guy who loves sports, but the specialization is a con and they're conning good people out of money. And they're preying on our desire for our kids to be stars. And I'm not picking on this couple. I'm saying we're all susceptible to that. And at some point we got to say, what is it? What is most important? Important? Is it Johnny playing on every travel team, or is it we actually have a life? And so I'm just going to throw that out there at risk of being the grumpy old man, but that's what I think. So there you go. All right, up next, welcome to the mic, Robbie. Robbie, come on down. Yeah, give him some love. Keep up the energy. There he is. All right, Robbie, close to the mic. Tell us where you're from. Uh, from Gilbert, Arizona. Nice. Oh, strong representation from Gilbert tonight. Good to see. Good to see. What's your question? So my question is, I've been working 7 days a week for the last 2 years.

I'm trying to figure out how to create some urgency with my wife surrounding our debt, which is about $150,000. I think I've tried everything possible, but I'm just trying to create urgency with her.

Is she here tonight?

She is not here tonight. I did invite her, but she did income.

Dadgummit.

Yeah.

Why not?

I don't think she likes this.

Yeah, she might not. It might be a bad word in our house, so.

We've been wetting it out.

I don't think there's any mites about it.

So, when you guys sit down and the number comes out, $150,000 of debt, what's her response to that? Not the Ramsey Plan, not the way you want to get out of it, just the debt. How does that make her feel?

How does she feel? I think it's been going on for so long, I think she's kind of accepted that that's just the way things have to be. Yeah, I don't think she thinks too much about it and just kind of thinks that's the way life is right now. But I feel like I'm working hard and working a lot, and I'd like to see the needle move, but I just don't know how to motivate her.

And what part of that is she unwilling to move on? Is it a certain line item on the budget? Is there something you want to do, like sell a vehicle, and she's not on board? She's not on board.

Show—

tell us real things that you're wanting, like moves that you're wanting to make that she's not on board with.

I think all things are on the table. Selling vehicles, cutting back on expenses, selling what needs to be sold that we don't use. Like I said, I think everything's on the table for me.

And you've said that to her. So, 'cause my question is, I don't know if she's a numbers person. Right. But if you say, "We have $150,000 of debt, and we could move $50,000 of it just by selling off these vehicles." Right. And then you're kind of laying out the timeline of, you know, how quickly you could be free. I don't know if you've done that. Have you?

I've done it in the past. It seems like it's so far away that it's kind of hard to accept, though.

Okay, how far away is it?

At least 4 years away.

Okay, yeah, that's a real thing. So, the hard part with this is I do think that most of us in here have had some sort of an Ipadit moment, or some sort of a catalyst moment. And sometimes with couples, couples, it doesn't happen at the same time.

Right?

Right? It'd be wonderful if it did, and then you're on board. That's what happened with Sam and I. It happened at the same time. But if it doesn't, it's that ongoing conversation and that continuous feeling of it, right? And the way that you can help push on that is to tell her how you're feeling. "Ugh, I'm just feeling trapped. I don't want to feel like this forever. I feel like I just go to work and go to work, and we still feel broke." And if you're telling her constantly how you're feeling and that you have a hope for a different future, that's the best you can do, right? And then, at some point, you've gotta get to her heart on it, and figure out, what is it on her end that's keeping her from that? Because we all have a desire to be free, all of us. So, my guess is not that it doesn't bother her, or that she doesn't care about it. There's probably something deeper under there. Maybe there's a fear, because the truth is, she doesn't know. She doesn't know for sure, like, inside of herself, what's on the other side of that sacrifice.

And I think that holds a lot of people back. What if I do this, and I sell the car, and he works extra, and we still don't get to it, right? That's very, very scary. It's an unknown. It's fear of the unknown. So, if I were in your shoes, I'd be a detective. Like, I'd be a full-time detective trying to understand really what is it that's bothering her so you can turn that screw.

Okay.

And you may have had so much control over the money, and all of it's on you, that she doesn't feel the weight of the finances in your home at all, to feel anything, right? Stress or whatnot. You're taking it all pull on. You're trying to be the hero in the situation. And the truth is, it's both of your debts, right? Like, you guys are in it together. What is— what consists of the $150,000? Is it consumer?

Couple consumer loans and then student loans.

And student loans. Both of yours? Just—

The consumer is ours together.

Student loans are mine. Yes, are yours.

Yeah.

What's your income? Last year, our gross was $141,000.

I think the hard part is sometimes if one spouse is so passionate about it and wants to do it, they're carrying all the emotional weight that the other spouse doesn't honestly have to feel anything.

Is that what's going on? Is that what's going on? Uh, it's tough, you know. I have a 14-year-old daughter, and, you know, we don't spend a lot of time together because I'm always at work. So, um, no, no, I, I get it. I heard what Jade said. I heard Rachel said— I'm curious, you were saying, right, right. I want to know, like, is that what they're describing? Is that what's going on in your house? She just has no belief that it could ever happen, so she's just resigned? Or is it she doesn't think it matters? I think she feels like it's not something that, that's going to happen, you know.

So she doesn't have hope, right?

She doesn't have hope in that. Have you shared what Jade said? Have you told her how you're burning out? I mean, on occasion, but you know, I— sometimes it sounds like complaining, and I don't want to complain. I just want to work. Wait a second, wait a second. I'm starting to pick up on something. I don't think— and there's no shame in this, friend, there's no shame, but I'm taking a chance here— I don't think that you have sat with and poured your heart out to her about— there's the emotion right there. I don't think that she actually knows how exhausted you are physically. I don't think she knows how exhausted you are emotionally. I don't think she knows that your heart is broken in two because you can't spend time with your daughter. I don't think she knows it because you've built up in your mind that you've gotta be a good man. And I'm here to tell you, my friend, I'm looking at a great man. But I think— I think that's what's going on. Tell me if I'm wrong. It sounds right. What are you afraid of when you tell her? If she were sitting here, I'd get you to tell her that.

But what do you think her real reaction would be if you put yourself out there? And I know I'm asking a lot for you to be that vulnerable. What do you think she would— how do you think she'd react? Um, I think that if I sat down and poured my heart out to her, that she would understand. I just don't know that I've, you know, I've done that yet. And that's okay. And I don't bring that out to put any ounce of shame on you, my friend. But I'm telling you, if you care about your marriage, if you care about your 14-year-old, if you care about living a life that you desire, you have to do this. You are in a danger zone. Man is not meant to work 7 days a week and never share what's really going on. I also think that you're in control of the money, and I think you got to let her know how you feel. And then you got to say, babe, do you trust me? Because if you If you trust me, I can get us out of this by leading us. Well, one of the things we gotta do is sell the car.

I'll go first. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. You gotta lead, but you can't lead if she doesn't know how you really feel. And so I got something for you, okay? I got two things for you, but I can only hand— could you bring the bottle of wine?

Oh, let's go.

This is very exciting. I got some flowers for you. You're gonna go home with these flowers. Rachel's bringing a nice bottle of red wine, okay? And you guys are going to— you're going to have a moment. You're going to say, Ken put me up to this. He's a loudmouth on the Ramsey Show. Blame it all on me. I can handle it.

It's his fault.

But you need to have a conversation and share your heart. Be vulnerable. Vulnerable is strong. And you're a strong man. You got me? All right, brother, we love you. We appreciate you. Give him some love. That's really cool. Really fun. By the way, I've said this the entire time I've worked for Dave. I have the spiritual gift of giving away Dave's stuff. So just got a little budget of fun stuff back there. Maybe you'll be lucky tonight. All right, if you do a good job. Hey, that was awesome. Wasn't that fun? Hey, I want to bring that back really quick because I, I jumped into coach mode, but I, I would like y'all's perspective from the female side of things, uh, what you would add to that. And, and when it— when a couple like that is completely in different lanes, anything you want to add to that? I don't want to miss that.

No, I think it's— I mean, I think it's an important— and I think it's more, um, it's more of the marriage issue than the money issue, right? The issue is vulnerability, not fully being known for whatever the reason, right? And I think we all can have elements of that, um, you know, whether his fear is weakness, I don't know what it is, right? Like, that whatever's driving that wall to be up and this need to be the hero, be the person I'm not gonna worry about anyone else. That then puts up your spouse on the other side of that wall, right? And I even had Dr. John Delony, he has the visual of the bricks in the backpack. But you know, and you carry this around and your spouse has no clue, has no clue what you're carrying around if you don't share it and open. That openness then creates that teamwork and that side-by-side connection with spouses. And again, there's always gonna be one side that's gonna be harder spouse that's like crazy Ramsey and obsessed. Okay, we know who you are. Like, there's always gonna be that one, and there's always gonna be the one that probably rolls their eyes a little bit, but they're on board because they love their spouse.

And I really believe, wherever he is, I don't know where he went, that your wife is a good woman. And if you have a great marriage, she's going to— she's gonna embrace that, right? And if she doesn't, that's a marriage problem, right? We have to like be talking about that. And so, that's what's wild about The Ramsey Show is so many of the money calls we get. Oh yeah, it's not a money issue. Money is the symptom of what's really going on. When you actually fix the marriage stuff, then the money piece falls into place.

Okay, up next on the mic, give some applause to Maria. Maria, welcome! Hi, Maria.

Hello.

Where are you from?

Tucson.

Tucson, let's go! Nice, nice. Wildcat country. There it is. I get it, I watch the sports. Sports.

Great.

My Michigan Wolverines pretty much destroyed you guys during the Final Four. I want to throw that out there.

Yeah, that was such a disaster.

You can boo all you want, but we won. All right, thank you very much. Sorry, Maria, back to you. I, I couldn't help it. I'm a shameful sports fan. All right, go ahead, what's your question?

All right, so my question is, um, and for a variety of different reasons, we recently had my adult son moved back home. So part of that was he was in a condo, the, the HOA was very defunct, he was going to pay off debt, got out of a not fantastic relationship. So we are charging him roommate rent, and the question is, do we return it to him when he is ready to move out, or if there is something he I'm confused.

I jumped ahead and shook my head.

I'm very— oh, you said no?

He was like, really? Yeah, no, he needs to freaking— how old is he? 31.

No, you don't give him the money back. He's a dadgum grown man.

He doesn't know it's coming back to him, but he was paying rent at the other place.

Okay, make your case.

Well, okay, wait, what's your financial situation?

I am not debt-free.

Okay, never mind.

No, no, no, no, no. Does it matter if you were worth $3 billion? I wouldn't give him that money back. He's a 31-year-old grown man, Jade.

Yes, I know, but have you heard die with zero? This idea that you— you know what I mean? That you're gonna be—

stop it.

I feel like that's the—

that's not the point of that.

Okay, that would be my question. What caused you to charge him rent to begin with versus just say, hey, he can just stay here for a while? Oh, I guess that's a really good question. Um, I think it was just the sense of, hey, you're here, we want to make sure that you understand you still need to pay something. This is, this is not forever, right? This is a temporary plan, which it is. Um, and I think it was going to be a very temporary plan until we both went through FPU and all of a sudden now he's like, oh no, I got to pay off everything including the student loans before I buy a house.

Yeah, but he can rent somewhere else. Yes, he can.

Why?

Why?

He could. Yes, yes, that's what I would say.

What are we talking about here? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

What is—

what does this guy do for a living?

Um, he, he works for the US Postal System.

Great. What does he make?

Not a ton.

I didn't answer that. What does he make?

Less than $70,000 a year. Okay, first off, I love that you brought him back in.

That's okay. I love that you're charging him rent. Your instincts were right. I hate the idea of giving him his money back. He's 31. He needs to get back out there. He can take a couple extra routes. He can do something more. He's a grown freaking Man, get out of the house. Yeah, I'm sorry, I just call him bald-headed trash.

That feels like a very like mommy thing. Do you know what I mean? Like that you would do for a much younger.

And I think that my only reason I'm pushing back a little bit.

Make your case.

Yes, here's my case. If he was expecting it and he was like, listen, I am like, give me my money back, all of this. Now the fact that you have debt, all that, but if she was standing there and she was worth $10 million and she's like, hey, you know what? I'm gonna help you with a down payment on your, or whatever the situation is. Right, but he needs to get on his feet.

Like he needs to.

100%. 100%. So he does need to be set up. But I have heard, we've had people call the show and they do this where they're like, we're keeping it in an account. And then when they get married or whatever it is, we're gonna, yes.

That, I think, I think that's different. The idea of, I'm saving up a pot of money for a specific time.

The parent is doing it without the child knowing.

Right, right, right. But there's also, I would think that there's certain parameters that I would want in place. Like, okay, this person is 100%.

100%.

And that's what's missing, I think, right now. Yes.

What's missing is this young man who you love needs gumption. He doesn't need a refund. And that's what you're saying. I'm just telling y'all, listen, I'm in the greatest mood tonight, by the way. I want everybody to know I'm having the time of my freaking life, but I'm gonna tell the truth when somebody asks this. And here's what happens. I'm gonna go back to something something earlier with the, with the sister. We create unrealistic expectations that become unmet expectations. I'm gonna say that again, 'cause that was so good. You all need to get that. Okay. When we do stuff like this, I'm not judging you. It's a sweetheart of a mama idea, but you asked and Rachel hasn't made her case.

I have one more thing.

We create, okay, I'm gonna say this. You create unrealistic expectations. Met expectations that you'd do it again. And then when you can't do it again or don't believe you should do it again, you create unmet expectations. And unrealistic expectations always lead to unmet expectations. And on the other side of that is bitterness and resentment. And that's why I'm so strong on that.

Okay, I am more— yeah, we can give Ken a hand. I would say I'm way more way more passionate with him getting out of the house regardless of if you refund him or not. I don't care if you do or not, that doesn't bother me. Apparently it very much bothers the audience and Jade and Ken, uh, but it does bother me that he's still living there. He has a full-time job, he's 31. Even just for him dating—

oh no, no, this is recent, this is a recent development.

So how long has he been living with you?

Um, so a— well, it'll—

a year.

I heard it.

Oh wait, I don't like where this is going. I tried to help you, I tried to help you.

I also want to know I don't know how much rent he's been paying. No, well, okay, so it's— he's just renting a room, so it's low rent.

How low? You need a number.

How low?

He just needs to get out of the house.

A number.

Give the number, give the number. He needs to get out though.

$500. It's just a room.

Okay, but if you split a 2-bedroom—

I bet he goes in the kitchen though. No, no, no, no. Jade off the top. It really doesn't, the financial— impact has been not like negligible, nothing. Okay. The idea behind the refund was save it up, and then when he's ready to buy the house, when the market is favorable, he finds what he needs, whatever.

Or when he's ready financially.

Right.

That's fine.

And it goes towards the house.

Yeah, I wouldn't let him know it if he decides to do it. I don't care. But I'm more passionate that he needs to get out. He needs to move out. He needs to be a man and pay his own rent to a landlord that's not his mom.

Can I ask you this?

Right, that's what I'm more passionate about.

I'm gonna frame it another way. Let's pretend he was still in the other apartment. He never moved back in. Would you be setting aside $500 every single month to put towards his down payment on his house?

Oh, great, Jade.

Oh! That's how you know. That's the old Dave Ramsey.

That's a good one.

That's what Dave used to do.

He'd flip it. I'm gonna tell y'all something. If I smoked, I'd have had a cigarette about 5 minutes ago. I'm gonna tell you right now, you're a sweet mama. I got something for you. Why?

You've been awesome.

I got something for you.

You've been great.

I got a fun gift for you. You're not going to like this, but I'm going to give it to you. Oh boy, hold on.

Oh wait, Ken, what are you doing?

Just be quiet. I'm giving you these little baby Nike shoes to remind you that he can't wear these anymore. It's time for him to go. Y'all give her some love.

OK, on point. I'm on fire tonight. On point.

Good night, everybody. Good night. Gotta love the baby shoes.

This next question is brought to you by Yrefy. If your private student loans are in default and you're not sure what to do next, Yrefy can help you explore refinancing with a low fixed rate and a payment plan based on what you can actually afford. So go to yrefy.com/ramsey. That's the letter Y, R-E-F-Y,.com/ramsey. May not be available in all states.

Up next is May. Welcome May to the mic. Hi May. Hi, how are you?

Good, how are you guys?

Good. What's your question?

If you could go back and ask your 23-year-old self, what piece of advice would you say?

So if we could go back to our 23-year-old selves and give one piece of advice?

Or multiple.

Or multiple. Okay, who wants to go first?

I think I'd have to go back a couple more years for it to work. Like, for—

I like that. Take—

I was already in a lot of debt by 23.

Um, financial or life?

Both.

The, the life advice I would give is understand the tension between patience and persistence. Persistence. You know, when you're young, 23, and I remember at 23 specifically, I happened to be working for the governor of Virginia, and I thought I was going to be the next U.S. Senator, and then I thought I was going to be President of the United States, and I thought it was going to happen in 10 years. You know, just a 23-year-old, no clue.

I'd vote for you, Ken.

I appreciate that. I appreciate your vote. I believe this audience would as well. But that's not what This is about— and so I was a super ambitious kid, and I think what I've learned over the last almost 30 years is that there is a natural tension. And what I mean by that is like, we desire— and this really helps those of you in the Baby Steps here— we want to get through the Baby Steps, we want financial peace, we want to win professionally, whatever that dream is, and we go after it, and we forget that the magic is the getting up every day and chopping the wood, the persistence, showing up. But the magic is when we show up and we know it's gonna take some time. And very few times can we control the timing. And so to embrace that tension between I'm getting up and I'm hustling, I'm getting after it, and I know it's still gonna take time and I've gotta be patient. And a lot of people think that patience is a passive thing. Passive word. It's not passive. It's very active, but it is in the mindset and it is in the spirit to wait on the good things.

And my, one of my favorite scriptures comes from Isaiah. Those who wait on the Lord will mount up on wings like eagles and soar. They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not faint. And here's what's interesting. What Isaiah does there, really quick is that he shows us different seasons of life and different paces. And let me get some seasons where you're soaring. And those of you that are in Baby Steps 6 and 7, you're soaring. We got a lot of people in this room that are just walking and hoping not to faint. Come on, can I get an amen on that one? And so I think you got to embrace that. So that would be the life advice is to understand for anybody who wants to accomplish anything in any area of life, you got to get up and show up, but you got to also wait on the results. And waiting on Confidence in God is the most incredible discipline you can develop.

I would probably go back to 23-year-old Rachel, and I would tell her, "Be confident in who God created you to be, 'cause there's only one, you. He's just created you. And so, trust your inner voice, trust your gut, Trust who you are, that it's beautiful and wonderful. And that goes into like the, I think, all lanes. So, I think back for me, at this age, I was traveling and starting to speak and all of this. And I remember looking up, I was probably like 26, and I did so much, like my, love my dad, love him, God bless you, Dave, wonderful man. But I would teach and talk and speak kind of like he I did. So long. I really tried to emulate him, 'cause it was like, "Okay, I'll just do what he did, 'cause it's working, and I'll do what he did." And I remember waking up at like 26, and I'm like, "I am not a balding, 60-year-old man. Like, I— I'm young. I have a baby, and I'm pregnant, and I like to shop, and I budget. But like, what does this look like, right? What does this money stuff look like for me?" And the moment I found my voice, it's amazing.

It's amazing how you live life, and it's not exhausting. You're not trying to perform for everyone else. And that also bleeds into your life lifestyle and money. When you try to be like everyone else, keeping up with everyone else, what everyone else is doing, what everyone else is buying, what everyone else is looking like, driving, houses they— I mean, when you just try to be like everybody else, you're gonna not only be spinning your wheels, you're gonna be discontent and spending money on things that you really don't value. And so, focusing on you, who you are, and who God created you to be. There's only one you. So be, yeah, be you.

All right, I've been thinking, sitting over here thinking about this for a couple minutes while you guys were saying yours. And, you know, I got to say, there's like the practical stuff. Like if I could go back to my 23-year-old self, I'd say, you're going to try to start a business when you're like 26, bypass the first idea and go straight to the second idea because the first idea was a failure, right? So it's like little things that I could go back and tweak. But I think in all of it, of it, when I think about 23-year-old me, I'd just gotten married. Sam and I had not discovered our debt just yet. That was gonna come a year later. And I think I would just say, like, go easy on yourself, because the next couple of years are gonna be really, really hard, and you're gonna be put to the test, but this is a good thing. Like, tests are there to make you strong, and this is a really, really good thing. In the end, you're gonna be complete and mature and lacking nothing, just like it says. So I think I would just tell myself, "Hey, go easy on yourself.

Go with the flow. It's supposed to happen this way." Okay, thank you guys.

Yeah, thank you. All right, so we ready for a little ask me anything? I'm gonna ask one that has nothing to do with me, but this is great. What is your favorite conspiracy theory? One of us up here really buys into these things harder than the rest of us. Of us?

Oh man, I have so many.

You got to pick a favorite.

Um, probably because it was kind of all in the news, uh, we did not land on the moon in 1969.

Wow. Okay, show like a round of applause if you agree with Rachel. Round of applause if you think, well, she spends too much time reading rumors.

She's cray cray.

Wow, very vocal group.

Okay, now there happened to be a cameraman on the moon who happened to get everybody.

Come on, you're telling me for all that fake job that no one at NASA has blown the whistle?

There's been two, there's been two, yes, that have come out.

I don't know, I need more information.

Just saying.

All right, that's good.

And we all circled the moon recently, we're all like, oh my God, we've been there walking around.

'69, nobody got out.

That's what I'm saying, y'all stayed in the ship, you didn't get out.

I got to move on, this is killing me. What is the weirdest What is a habit that you have that you're willing to admit publicly? I mean, I have a lot of weird habits.

Weird is a strong word, Ken.

The word you used one time was peculiar.

Yeah, I am very choosy. I'm very thoughtful. Some might say intentional. Others might say wise or OCD.

Uh, her— your, your, um, cleanliness.

I'm kind of like Niles from Frasier. Do you guys remember Niles? He would like wipe everything off first.

Is that your weird habit that you're, uh—

I can tell you a habit that's also a pet peeve that others— like, if you use the restroom, you have to close the lid before you flush.

You mean like the total lid?

Not— yes, it must close it. And so why—

you think of projectiles?

Yes, that is my number— it's a pet peeve. If like people come to my house and I— they're like, hey, can I use your restroom? And like afterwards I'm like looking around the corner, I'm like, they didn't close the lid. What is wrong with these people?

And I don't know what it's like to be you. That has got to be exhausting.

I'm very clean. I like cleanliness.

We are eating back there and she's like, I'm going to keep my plate on my lap cuz I don't— I don't know how I feel about the table.

One lady is very passionate in her support for you.

Listen, inside clothes versus outside clothes. Um, thank you.

My wife's going to be very upset that I'm admitting this, but you all are going to enjoy this cuz I've shared it. Everybody makes fun of me on this. Weirdest habit that I'll admit publicly. I'm a very neurotic sleeper, so I have lots of supports. I have a full-length body pillow that goes from my ankles to my elbows.

Pregnant woman.

My wife bought it for pregnancy, didn't like it. She went out of town one weekend, and I got in bed and I went, "It's kind of interesting." I tried it. I love it! I haven't gone back. I'm on my third one now. It's great. And then I have an eye mask because I got to have total pitch-black darkness. And then I recently discovered the greatest health phenomenon in the last 5 years, mouth tape. So I'm mask, mouth tape, body pillow, and I sleep like a baby. I'm not ashamed of it.

Oh Lord.

All right.

You're like a mid-40s woman. Woman, Ken.

No, I'm a very well-rested man. Okay, one more here maybe. Uh, let's see, what's a fun one? You guys, you guys are in on this too. What do you see there that you want to answer?

Uh, what is a completely irrational fear that you have? I have one.

Go ahead, you go first.

You go first. I—

and I think it's going to happen in my lifetime, so I need you all to support me with this.

I'm so excited right now.

I, I really do, and I've played this out in my head sometimes. I really do have a fear that I am going to be convicted of murder and that I didn't do it, but you're in the courtroom and you're on the stand and you're like, "I did not do it," and they find you guilty and you like, "Yes." You go to jail? Yes, yo, and I'm just like, "I didn't murder them, I promise." So, just know I'm innocent if anything ever happens. I read too many books and watch Dateline 2020. I was gonna say, that sounds like a book you've read.

It's all my—

So if I ever mysteriously disappear, you all look into her first. There's some deep-seated stuff going on.

I really am. I just don't want to be convicted for a crime I did not commit.

I appreciate that. Do you have an irrational fear?

I mean, you do.

Nothing is coming to mind.

Germs?

Well, no, germs, I'm not afraid I'm going to get sick or anything. I just think they're gross. So it's like, ew.

You know what?

This is silly. Every time I go in a tunnel, a lot of times in New York, the Midtown Tunnel, whatever. That's a good one. I always think that the brick are going to break and the water's going to come in. Look at the people shaking their heads. I feel so seen.

I always close my eyes. Do you close your eyes the entire time?

I don't close my eyes, but I am like, let's get through the tunnel.

Okay, I, I have a little bit of one, and it's not completely irrational. Like, on the highway, I don't drive behind the big tractor-trailer trucks that have all the cars loaded on it, because I just feel like it's like Final Destination, like something's about to happen.

Again, people are with us tonight. Okay, one more fun One here, let's see. Uh, oh, what is one thing you spend too much money on and you don't regret? Ooh, you all are interesting.

I think that's me.

What is it?

So I love house plants, like indoor plants. I have tons of— my house is like a jungle. Um, in my kitchen alone, I think I have, uh, maybe 15 plants. I have a lot. It's beautiful though, it looks nice. Um, it's not weird, not Not at all. I— but there's a plant shop in my city that I like, and I can just go in there and just—

well, let's finish this out. What is a really nice plant set you back?

Uh, the last, it was like a little ponytail plant that I bought, and it was like $210.

Wow.

It's so cute though.

It's beautiful.

$210 on a plant I've never heard of. Yeah, but it's probably good for the oxygen and very cute.

Yeah, it went in my husband's office, and I was like, doesn't this make it so much nicer to work every day? And he was like, yeah, I guess so.

Do you have something like this that you, uh, overspent? What, what was the thing they said spend too much money on? That's all relative, I guess.

Yeah. Um, I mean, I, I would say the, the— it's probably wasteful, but I do it because I like the convenience and I like it. Valet parking at the airport.

I appreciate that as well.

I do. I'm like, I don't want to be trugging through a, through a parking garage.

Probably not that bad.

I'm going to spend a little bit more and I'm going to—

yeah, I do I do the same thing.

Oh, that makes me feel better.

I'm a convenience animal.

Give me convenience.

I need to get in, I say hi to a nice person who's very happy to see me right in the airport.

That's a spending love language, convenience. Yeah. Yes.

Speaking of convenience.

Convenience and self-care.

The thing I like to spend money on with zero guilt, spa day with my wife.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you. I do, I do.

Facial massage.

Oh, no, facial.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a guy. I like a great massage. Yeah, like the steam, like the sauna.

Oh, the amenities.

I like the mineral pool.

Wow.

I like sleeping in the recovery room or whatever they call that when you come out. Yeah, what is that called?

Relaxation room.

Relaxation room. I got to tell you, I like— until Stacy's like, you're snoring. I do love that.

Sipping on your tea.

Yeah. All right, you guys are very fun. Thank you for the fun ask me anything questions. It's very exciting. We never get those questions. All right, Rachel, you want to—

Up next, I think we had actually another question from the audience. They're not gonna come up to the mic, though, but Kelsey, who's in the room, she submitted a question. Should my emergency fund be in a high-yield savings account, audience?

Yes! Yes!

And if so, where is one of the best places I can put that money?

Oh, you guys already know where we're going with this.

Wow, okay.

Well, let me tell the why behind the what first, 'cause I think that's important. First off, yeah, for money, you want to keep it someplace liquid that you can easily get to it, so it's not invested. Invested, but you can get to it. So that's a great place to keep an emergency fund. Obviously, it's another place that's separate from your normal checking, because I'm the type of person, I need it separated. I don't want to accidentally spend it. So an HISA allows it to be separate, and also it's insured, right? It's FDIC insured. So that's really great.

And, uh, yeah, yeah, we all yelled it out. Who do we love? Bear wins, like a fourth of the audience.

Bear wins!

Bear wins! Fairwinds. No, but for real, Fairwinds Credit Union, you guys, they are amazing. We have started partnering with them, and they are, I mean, honestly, they're a credit union, but in the banking institution, they're the only bank that, I mean, really is for you. Like, they are for you getting out of debt. They celebrate your financial journey. They love the Ramsey Baby Steps, and they really do partner beside you, and so they're wonderful. So, they have the Smart Bundle, which is a no-fee checking account, a high-yield savings account, like what we were just talking about. You can actually have up to 10 up to 10 high-yield savings accounts. So, if you love having different funds for different things, you know, in your account, you can see all of it. It's all right there. You can open up to 10. And then you also get the Ramsey Beware debit card, which we love. It's like a blue debit card and it's wonderful. But you can use it, and Winston and I, we did. We have transferred over to Fairwinds. And I remember the night we signed up, because I was like, okay, this is going to be like a, phew.

But you know, when you switch banks, it's like, it's a big deal. Big deal. But honestly, we went to go sign in, and it was like some documentation here, there. I mean, it took me maybe 8 minutes. It was so fast. And then we can connect all of the other accounts we've had to it, so you can transfer money so easily. And then I got a customer service call the next day. And it wasn't just because it was us. It was like everybody. Everybody gets a call from their team. So their team, they are, they are incredible. So, if you, again, need a high-yield savings account, or you want to switch over your banking to a bank that really does care, make sure to check check out Fairwinds Credit Union. Go to fairwinds.org/ramsey.

And also do want to thank them, they are our studio sponsor. And by the way, met so many of you earlier tonight. Come to Nashville, it's such a great experience. They're in Franklin, Tennessee. Fairwinds is our studio sponsor and also huge part of why we can do tonight's show. So we want to thank Fairwinds one more time. Thank them for being such a great partner. All right, now we're ready to get back to your questions. Come on down, Barb Barb, there she comes. Give her a big hand. Yes. Oh, look at her. She's excited. I like it.

Hi.

Hi, Barb. Where are you from?

Originally California, but I've been in Arizona for 30 years.

What's your question?

So I'll start with the question and give you some background. Uh, well, maybe the background would help. I'm way beyond baby steps and I am self-made.

Way to go, Barb. Yeah, that's amazing. Great job.

Thank you. I'm twice widowed, so when you said stand up and are you single? Yeah, I'm single. Just happened last August for the second one.

Oh my God.

No, it's cool, it's cool, because out of sadness comes happiness. You have to pick yourself up and get going, and I had to do that. You know, I was 40 years old when I got my bachelor's degree, and I got 3 masters in my 50s, completely paid off. So you can do it.

Wow, ladies and gentlemen, Superwoman! That's amazing.

So everything works because I've been doing it before I even knew about Dave. So, so I'm selling a house here, I'm moving to Florida to be with my daughter and her two sons. Single mom, she's had it pretty difficult. And, um, so I'm swapping houses, but I have another house that I'm selling, which will go back into that fund. And I do the things with the bank accounts where I want to switch, boom, boom. So my question is, Michelle's only got about $120,000 on her house left. She's a struggling single mom. And when I sell my second house, because the first one is for the swap, I'd like to help her pay that off so she she could be debt-free, and I'll have the profits from my house. This is in Ahwatukee foothills, if you're familiar with that. Yeah, I sunk a lot of money into bringing that up so I could sell it. So I'm wondering, because I heard you say, yeah, don't do that for your kid, but you know, she's in her 40s, she's been there for a while, and I would like to do that for her, but with the caveat that if I pay off her title, I also get I want to be put on the title, just in case.

You want to be on the title?

With her, because I'm going to give her—

No, don't put your name on the title. That's her house. That would feel like it has strings attached.

Because she knows that once I get this house, 20 years it'll be hers, because I'm 70.

I think it would be amazing for you to pay off your daughter's house. That to me is a very different situation than earlier. I think that's great. What say you?

Uh, I agree wholeheartedly. It's a, it's a different situation.

Yep, I agree. I think it's beautiful. It's changing your family tree, right? We talk about that a lot. And what can you do? And you're not enabling her in any way.

No, cuz I still give her some money to help with the boys' band uniforms and this and that, cuz she— and she doesn't ask unless she really needs it. She say, oh Mom, I'm having trouble with the boys' stuff, and I'll I go, "Okay." 'Cause she'll get it anyway when I'm gone, so it's either now or then, I guess. I think because you have the money to do it, you're doing so well.

And I—

when I think about grandkids, I feel like that's grandparent stuff. Like, you're gonna reach in and do things like that. But that's— that would be my reason behind it is you're in the financial position to do it. It doesn't sound like she's been in a situation where you're floating her. No. I've never— she's done well in her career. We graduated together for one of my masters. We walked down the aisle together.

It's amazing.

Very cool. It was great.

So what is her income? Do you know?

I'm sorry?

What is her income?

She's a school counselor in Florida, so she doesn't do so hot, right?

I don't know the exact number, but teachers, counselors in here, well, the point is she's self-sustaining. She's a mom a bear taking care of the kiddos. Yeah, I think you're a great mom. And again, we're totally in favor of it. Don't put your name on the title. You don't want it to ever feel like strings are attached. Just, I want to do this for you, baby girl, and do it.

Yeah, make sure gift tax and everything with Flor— like, yeah, double-check taxes and all of that, because there's— there is a gift tax. I'm trying to think if it gets put on real estate, um, but just double-check.

That's what I was kind of wondering if I give her the money.

Make sure Yup, and yeah, 'cause it changes every year too. So depending on when you sell your home and all of that, but it could be, yeah, I would talk to a CPA just to double-check that you're in the clear. Thank you, you're a good mom. You're a good mom, Barb.

Everybody give Barb some love. That was fantastic. Thank you, Barb. Great job. Appreciate that. All right, up next, please welcome to the mic Phil. Phil, come on down. All right, Phil, get close to the mic. Tell us where you're from. From East Tennessee. Wow.

East Tennessee?

Athens, out by Athens.

Gosh, my mom grew up in Madisonville.

That's where I actually live right now, but—

Shut the front door. Are you serious?

Yep.

You don't meet many people from Madisonville.

I plan to relocate to Arizona.

Okay, we like Arizona.

It's a good place.

Are you out— that's why you're out here? You're kicking the tires? Visiting Amazing grandma. Oh, that's very nice. Everybody, on the count of 3, 1, 2, 3. Aww. Phil, you're amazing. What's your question? So the question is, I'm about 2 weeks away from being debt-free for the second time. I don't wanna make the same mistakes. I invest in real estate, flip houses, and I got overleveraged, so I'm almost out again, and I should have some money left over. The market where I live came down about 20% 20%, so it's a lot less than I expected. The question is, if it were—

if you were in my circumstance, would you buy a house here in Arizona, maybe cash, if the numbers work out with the sale of this house, or would you rent for a while and keep the money to continue to flip houses, since that's where I've been making my income?

I would focus focus on your permanent residence first before the flips. So either that is you co-rent for a year in Arizona just to kind of see where you want to be, which I don't think is a bad idea, um, but you have that money earmarked for buying your personal residence, and then anything above that is what I would put to the flips. But yeah, I would, I would prioritize my personal residence before the flips.

Okay.

Okay, caveat, with the money, if I wait a year, I know your 5-year rule, which I've heard, money market account if you're not gonna do anything. If I also have been investing my money in the stock market and doing pretty well, would you invest or just hold off?

Not for one year, I wouldn't, 'cause Trump's gonna burp next week and it's gonna like tank again and then like it's gonna do this and it's back up, y'all know it's back up, remember when it all went down, Iran happen. Like, it's, it's crazy. So no, I would not. No, too volatile right now. Okay, if you're in it, stay in it. We're going to ride it out together.

Woohoo!

It's a fun ride.

Y'all give him some love. That's, that's a good question. All right, we got time for one more question, then we got a really fun way to end our night. Please welcome to the mic Erin. There she is. Hi, Erin.

Hi.

What's your question?

I'm a little nervous, but I'm super excited to be here. I'm a huge fan. Again, I mentioned I was from Canada, so I came here all by myself just to see you guys.

Canadian.

And my two boys are at home, but they're huge fans too, and they're only 9 and 12, but you're changing their life.

Well, what are their names?

Dylan and Riley.

Can we say hi to Dylan and Riley? You got an awesome mom. Yeah.

Okay, so here's my question. So I came here alone, like I mentioned, all the way from Canada to be around like-minded people. I listen to the show every day, literally, And my biggest struggle is feeling sort of alone at the top. I'm almost finished Baby Step 6, which will be January 9th, 2029. But it feels kind of isolating and lonely. How do I better handle mentally being the different one in friend and family groups?

Could you tell us a little bit more about what you are experiencing? Experiencing? Not just maybe thinking that they're saying, but is there anything you're experiencing with that group of people?

Yes, something definitely comes to mind that happened recently. Before I came, I was telling my mom, you know, I didn't tell a whole lot of people I was coming here even, but, um, you know, I was trying to talk to her about her future and retirement. She's already retired, but I was trying to teach her almost some of the things that I've learned And it's an odd dynamic when it's the daughter, you know, trying to teach the mom. So, you know, I can teach my sons and tell them everything and we listen to it all the time. But yeah, it's just like she doesn't wanna hear it from maybe a child. So I'm definitely hearing some pushback from her of like, "Okay, sounds good." But, you know, and I do genuinely want to help her. And, you know, she jokes about like, just, "Oh, live in your basement." And I'm like, "Ah." I love her, I love her to death, but— Does she ask for the help? Like, does she ask for you to— Never, not once. But I see what could be coming, perhaps, down the road. Yeah, it's tough because, to your point, you're the daughter, and she hasn't asked.

And so in those points, I do think it's— the best way to approach that is it's really cool to talk about the— you, right? And say the things that you've done or the things that you've learned. And it feels a little less judgmental and I have a feeling you're already doing that in the right ways, though, 'cause I can just tell by the way you're talking. It doesn't sound like you're walking in there saying, "Mom, you need to do this, and you need to get your budget, and you need—" Right? And then, after you've said all you can say, you just kind of move on. And most people, they see us leading by example. Like, they see your life, they see what's going on, and at some point, if she gets to that point, she'll ask you, "Ask." And she'll say, "Well, what did you do? How did you do it?" And you have to be cool with if she never asks. Yeah, that's a good point. You know? Yeah, thank you. That's great.

Yeah, and I think it's hard too, what you said is so true. When you start to move past your parents, from a financial sense, some people feel that spiritually, some people feel that emotionally. You know, like, there's— it's weird when you— if you pass your parents. Any, any part of life. That's an odd thing as an adult child to be like, oh my gosh, I'm doing better than my mom in this situation. And your heart in it is so good that you want her to have control and freedom and set her life up well. Um, but you cannot put a lot of energy, even if, even though it's your parent, you know, your mom or your friends or whoever, you cannot put energy into people that don't want to change on that subject. So you do kind of have to surrender and just be like, this is what I've chosen to do with my life. They may choose to do it, they may not, and that's, that's up to them. That is not my thing to carry. That's not my burden to carry. Um, but I can see the isolation part of having some fun wins financially, maybe for you, or hitting milestones.

You're like, man, I wish I had people to celebrate this with. So that's, I got an idea. I think that loneliness And I think this is very real and honest, but also, I don't think that that all has to be your identity either. We pair so much of our success or lack of success financially with who we are, even though it's a big part of our story, and it's wonderful, and it's great, but it's not you. That's not— that doesn't— you know, your money, your baby steps, they don't define who you are. And so, I think concentrating on that end, and connecting with people on things that aren't just money, you know, I mean, is great too. But that lonely part is real, and I think you just have to own that until you— unless you find someone. I got an idea.

Okay. Erin, you hang out there for a second, okay?

Okay.

So, one of the unbelievable, magical things that Dave discovered years ago, decades ago, was the power of community. And we saw it come alive in Financial Peace University. My wife and I, many, many years ago now, over 20 years years ago, led our first class in Atlanta, Georgia, as we were making progress. And, uh, the community that we experienced was like many of you. It was life-giving to be in the room with other people that were feeling the things you were feeling, that were thinking the things that you were thinking, that were in almost identical scenarios. And that's what made Financial Peace University special, and, uh, it's the community. And I'm sitting here listening to Erin, and I'm like, Erin came down from Alberta, Canada, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, just to be in the room. She's on Baby Step 6, is that right? And she used the word isolation and loneliness. And you all know how hard it is to be lonely or isolated in any season of life, but certainly on something something that is so core to your convictions. So I'm going to do something, okay? I want to know if— and I'm starting here— I wonder if there's any single— but let me ask you this.

I'm making this up as I go. Love it. When do you return? When do you go back home?

Uh, I get home like early Thursday morning.

So what time do you fly out? That's what I'm saying.

Tomorrow night at 8 o'clock.

Perfect. That's what I was hoping you were going to say. Are there any single women in this room tonight? Or men? I wasn't gonna go there, but I'm serious. Are there any single women in this room right now that are willing to hang out with Erin tonight? Or maybe go to— stand up, stand up, single ladies. I want her to feel safe. This is not a dating thing, okay? So here, here's what I want. I want you ladies— Erin, you look at these ladies. Stand up, ladies. Look After the show tonight, I want you to connect in that, in that corner of the room back there with Katie. Okay. And these are your new friends. What's your name? Martina. And what's your name? Mariam. And your name? That's Aaron. And Aaron's your new friend. And so you all are going to either go out tonight after the show or you're going to do breakfast tomorrow. Okay? And you're gonna have 3 new friends. 3 new friends who feel you and know you and care about you. And they're gonna walk with you, even if it's long distance, FaceTime and text. Will you agree to do that?

Say yes if you do. No pressure if you don't want to. I have international plan. You have an international plan on your phone. That's very exciting. Are you willing to stay in touch with her? Are you willing to stay in touch with her? Because this is what life is about. You need community. And so thank you, ladies. You're amazing. And so what I'm gonna do to get us started is we got a little, little bottle of Prosecco to get the party started. So I'm gonna give that to you, Erin. And ladies, thank you all. Would you all give these ladies some awesome love? Can I hug you? You're so awesome. Ladies, thank you. That's really cool. I know I put you on the on the spot. But Rachel Jade, I'm gonna tell you something, it's not right for her to go back to Edmonton, Alberta feeling like she's isolated. She's got 3 new friends now.

Community. Cool. Yes, being with people, it's a big deal.

So important.

So important. Don't try to run this race alone. It's so stinking hard.

Any part of life. Yeah, marriage, parenting, anything.

Yeah, it was really special. Ladies, thank you for that. I appreciate you all doing that. Okay, speaking of community, so we've been doing this on tour, we do a group debt-free scream. And so Jade is going to be my assistant here. So here's what we're going to do, okay? Here's what I want. I want if you have paid, if you've become debt-free, okay, in the last 12 months, would you stand up? All throughout the room, stand up. Stay standing. Stay standing. In the last 12 months. Yeah, you can clap for them. That's cool. Okay. All right, here's what we're going to do. So Jade's got her calculator out. I'm going to go around the room. James is also keeping a tally and we're going to find out how much money you spent. So I'm going to point at you, you give me the number, and we're going to add it up to see how much this room has paid off in the last 12 months. And then we're going to do a group debt-free scream. How does that sound? Pretty fun. That was kind of weak. So do we have anybody up in the On the upper deck?

We do not. Okay, so I'm gonna start over here and we'll start right here in this row. The green blue shirt right here. How much? Give me a number. About $40,000. $40,000? Okay, sit down once I get your number. So sit down for just a second so I can keep track. Right next to them in the dark shirt. $80,000. $80,000. Next. $80,000. $80,000. Okay, right here. $601,000. $601,000? And your mortgage. Of course. Yeah, I thought so. You guys can be seated for just a second. Okay, let's go right back there behind them. 60,000. 60,000. Okay, next to them. 400,000. 400,000. Okay. 20,000. 20,000. Am I going too fast? Okay. 60,000. 60,000. Hold the applause. We're going to do a real big thing. Okay. Right here, sir. $42,000. $42,000. All right. This couple? $60,000. $60,000. Directly behind them? $12,000. $12,000. Directly behind her? $65,000. $65,000. Right behind him? $130,000. $130,000. Ma'am, right here. How much? $50,000. $50,000. Okay. Right here.

I paid off my third house, $12,000.

$12,000. Way to go. Right here. $75,000. 5,000. 5,000. Right back here, I'm so sorry, in the middle. 27,000. Who— I'm getting there. Who did I miss? Right here.

40,000 and the last 500 was just today.

Oh, that's fun. 40,000 there. Okay, is that everybody in the last 12 months? Right here. 122,000. 122,000. We added it. That was a nice number. Okay, if you just gave me a number stand up. If you just gave me your number, stand back up. All right, this is very exciting. And, uh, what's our number? Drum roll, everybody, drum roll.

1,981,000. Wow! 1.9 million, almost 2 million.

Almost $2 million.

That's wild.

That's crazy. Okay, can we do— can we add in more people? Okay, if you're just debt-free in the room, stand up. If you are debt-free, don't have to be this past year, just in general. Everybody, if Paid it off.

Fantastic. Okay, you guys know what to do. Do you want to count? I feel like you should count it down.

No, I think we all count it down. We all count it down as an audience, right?

Everyone. All right, here we go.

What's our number? Just from—

$1,985,000 plus a whole bunch more from a whole bunch more of debt-free people. We're going to do it together. You guys know how to do it. 3, 2, 1. That is so great. You can be seated. All right, before we let you go tonight, um, we've done this in every city, and, and I want to start with Jade. And, and, uh, I just want you from your heart to share a word of encouragement, what's on your heart and mind for these fine folks works tonight.

I'll just tell you guys my life verse, Galatians 6:9. Don't grow weary in doing what is right, or don't grow weary in well-doing, because at the right time you'll reap a harvest of blessing if you don't faint, if you don't give up. And I know there's a lot of people in here scrapping and, and, and just grinding right now, and, and it feels thankless, and the road feels long, and you wonder if you'll make it, and you wonder if it'll be worth it on the other side when and you make it. I'm telling you, it's worth it. I'm telling you, you will make it to the finish line. I'm telling you to hold on. I'm telling you to just keep doing your best. Keep grinding it out. There will come a time where you cross the finish line, and there will come a time— and I want you to imagine it tonight. I want you to take the time to just lay in your bed and go think about what it's gonna feel like when the debt is gone, when the money is saved, when the mortgage is and just let yourself sit in that for a while, because the time will come.

And when the debt is gone, it's gone. You never think of it again. It's just poof. It's a wonderful feeling, and I promise you, you will get there. I'm proud of you guys.

You know, I think of the most impactful words I've ever heard Dave say. I mean, I just think it had to be anointed when he first came up with the idea, and I've never asked him. I think I need to ask ask him if he thought about it ahead of time or it just came out one day on the air. I actually don't know, but it's this iconic phrase: "If you live like no one else, later you can live and give like no one else." Unbelievably profound because of the sheer focus that I think it gives people. And so I'm just going to follow along with Jade here and say that I think those words that you've heard Dave say over and over and over, and they're burned into your conscience— don't let them become ritual. I think it really is the key, because what Dave figured out is on the other side of the baby steps and all of the tremendous work and the shortcomings and the stalls and the restarts and all the things, he realized that the power of that phrase was the live like no one else at the end of it, and the give, because there's just something about the human spirit.

We long to give to each other. We long to make our mark in this world. Nobody has to teach us that. It's hardwired into our soul by our Creator because he gave. And, um, so I would just encourage you to take those iconic words and let them be an anthem no matter where you are, to say, on the end of this deal, I am going to be able to live like no one else. And Rachel said it beautifully tonight in the advice to her 23-year-old old self. I'm looking at some beautiful people here, and all of you have a different version of what live like no one else looks like on the back end of that. And I would hold on to that dearly. That's your why, and it is powerful. It will pull you through all the stuff you're going through. For those of you that have made it, spread the word. Spread the good news of what it's like to live and give like no one else.

Yeah, money is such a— it's such a fascinating topic, 'cause I feel like it's one of the topics in life that can bring so much guilt and so much shame on one end of the spectrum. And then yet, on the way other end of the spectrum, it— when it's seen in a healthy way, and it's not an idol, it's not the thing that's the end-all be-all, but it's a tool in our lives to change our family trees, to bless the people around us, around us and do what we have to do, right? Money's powerful, and it's only really powerful and used for good when it's put in the hands of people who choose to use it well. And to be in a room, honestly, and we feel this all over, like, when we go to all these different states and all these different cities, like, it really is incredible, you guys. You know, you can watch the news and hear all the jabber about what's going on, but like, y'all are it. Like, we're it, right? I mean, there's people like you everywhere who want to to create solutions for their lives in a subject that's really hard.

And you know the secret, that it's you that's gonna do it. No one's coming to save you. You've chosen to do something well with your life that's well beyond money. It's a legacy, a legacy play, it really is, for your own family, for the people around you. And so we are just encouraged by you. The hope that we see in rooms like this all over is just, it's just amazing. It really is. We are your cheerleaders. We are, yes, on this specific stage and these lights, but you all, and the lights out there, like, you're the heroes. You're doing it. And the fact that we get to walk beside you in your journey and hopefully cheer you on is a pleasure. And we love what we do. We love you all, and keep up the hard work.

Arizona, you've been so great. On behalf of Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruz, Jade Warshaw, and our entire crew that is here tonight. Thank you all for being here.

Have a wonderful evening. Thank you, guys. Thank you.