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Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined by best-selling author, great human being Jade Warshall. We're taking your calls on money, work, life, all of it. 888-825-5225 to call in live. Let's go to Charlotte, North Carolina, and talk to AJ. What's up, AJ? Hey. Hi, everybody. How are you doing? We're doing all right. How about you?
I definitely need help. I have over 137K in debt, and I have 66K with the IRS. And I have a extra 70K with personal debt, including cards, credit cards, is through the loan. And my problem is, well, me and my wife, every year we make more money, we owe the government more. And with the 65K that we already owe the government, the interest piles on every month. And I'm at a crossroad because I don't know which one should we start with first. Should it be the IRS or should it be the personal credit? Because every year we go up and bracket with our income, we owe an extra 8,000. That's added on to the debt that we already owe with the IRS. So it's like it's a- Well, why aren't you paying your taxes?
Why does it have to keep going up is what I'm saying.
She's an RN, and I have two jobs. So during that process, I say, when we were 23, had somebody, Zanke, do our taxes, and we got an audit. And since we got an audit, it's been an ongoing cycle for the last five years of us not getting ahead of the IRS.
I understand. So why is it that... Okay, let me go back and answer your first question. Yes, IRS debt needs to come first. But going forward, you need to be paying your taxes. And what I don't want to hear you say is that the excuse is we're making more money. It's a good thing to make more money. You don't want to make less money. If your tax bracket creeps up, it's only for the percentage more that you're making. It's not for your entire amount. Now I'm being taxed on... Do you see what I'm saying? It's just the amount over that bracket that you're being taxed on. That's an excuse. I don't want you to keep leaning on that. It's a good thing to make more money. What needs to happen is you need to look at your withholding and find out why is your Why are you not paying enough taxes that you're owing so much at the end of each year and it's stacking up on you? Does that make sense?
Yeah, that definitely makes sense because she's an admin, and I'm in a supply chain. So She has- W-2, right? Yeah, but then we found that one of her jobs as a Traveler Nurse, it wasn't a W-2.
So that was- But you didn't know that until after the fact?
Hey, that's what she told me. That's where we went to. Okay. Okay. And I was like, What? One year, we owe 15K. And like I said, we pay every year, and we wait till October, and then it's just like, when we file again, that same 8,000, we just say, All right, it's going back to this year. So I went and got another job as a manager working night shift, and that's an extra 60K, and then it put us over 220. And now we both are like, We don't have no dependents. It's just like, how can we get off the IRS train?
Yeah. So let me go back and say it again. Making more money is not the problem. Making more money. If you're making $220,000 a year, married, filing jointly, great. Like, woohoo. That's great. You're rich, brother.
You're rich. You're rich. Thank you. You're rich.
The problem is, yes, you got into some hot water in the past. If she was working as a traveling nurse, she was probably bringing in some nice cash and you weren't paying taxes. That's what got you into trouble. What you need to make sure is going forward, what is the tax status of both of you? Are you on the hook for your own as a contracted individual, or are you W-2 and your employer is paying such? So knowing that going forward, I think that you guys can sit down tonight and figure that out. Let's talk about how to tackle this debt. Irs needs to come first. Is it 65 or 56? I feel like you said both.
No. So it is 65,296. 50. 58 cent right now. And every month, the interest go up.
Right. So let's pay fast enough to where you're paying more towards the actual amount. And I want to know, have you sat down and made some a payment plan with them, or are you just fighting for your life?
We made a payment plan with them. We don't own a house. So like I said, it's just pretty much our W-2s, and we pay 1,100 a month to them.
Okay. You need to $220,000 a year. Triple that.
Yes. Quadruple that.
Is there anything to say, and I'm using round numbers here. I'm not thinking about, is there anything to say, Hey, we make 220. Let's live on 100, whatever that is after taxes. Can Can you do that in Charlotte?
No, because a car, that's a thousand a month, too.
The car. How much is your car worth?
Carworth is 50K.
And what do you owe on it?
A 50K. Okay.
So today, this weekend, I love that it's the weekend, John, because he's going to- Sell the car. Roll right on down there. Yeah. And you're going to sell that car, and then you're going to find, I don't know, with this next check coming up on the 15th, because most of us get paid somewhere between the first and the 15th or the 30th and the 15th, you're going to take $4,000 and you're going to buy a beater.
Oh, you were generous. I was going to give him three.
So I have a question, though. How did it work with my credit? Because I just got the car last year.
So what do I do? Dude, you're playing all these crazy games. You're never going to get off the IRS train. You have to pay taxes. If you make money in any country on planet Earth, you pay taxes. And so- You know what I was saying about the car. I'm just saying, you're going to have to pay taxes. When it comes to a car, you should not be worrying about your credit score and all that nonsense. You're way in the hole. Sell the It doesn't matter. All your credit score is a dating game for you and debt. That's it. So if you don't have any debt, you don't have a credit score. Nobody cares. It doesn't matter. But what I'm trying to tell you is you're playing these other games. How do I get off of this? How do I get off of this? You got to go straight through the middle of this, dad. Sell the car this weekend, dude. Buy a $4,000 car. And you're going to be the only dude making a quarter million dollars in your neighborhood driving a $4,000 car. And you're going to be the only dude in your neighborhood in a year or two who's completely free.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I like that better.
Yes.
Definitely. But the personal credit, we're about that later, right?
I think if today- Don't even worry about it. Don't Don't worry about it, because it's not doing anything for you. It's playing no role in this. The only thing it's done is gotten you in a heap of trouble. Think about it. It got you in a car you can't afford. You haven't bought a house. You're a renter. Your credit It's the least of your worries right now.
The government's taking money out of your check, dude. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that is right. What is your take home? Every month, what do you all bring in?
Thirteen thousand.
Good grief, dude. Figure out how to live off of six, and that's being generous, and take the other $10,000 a month and get this thing paid off in six months, and stop owing the government money, and then get with your debt. Jade, what am I missing?
I think he's just been majoring in the minors. So it's time to focus on- Stop stepping over $100 bills to pick up nickels, as Lane Norton says.
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All right, let's go to Virginia Beach and talk to Renee. Hey, Renee, what's going on? Hi, how are you? Doing great. What's going on?
I recently filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, and in the process, my car was repossessed. Right now, I only have $1,400 to my name, and I'm trying to figure out if I should use this check to pay the back fees to get the vehicle back, or if I should just try and buy buy a vehicle in cash or buy here, pay here.
Oh, boy. I'm sorry that you're going through that. So when they took the vehicle, have they already sold it? Is there already a deficit for it? Or what have they told you about it?
The vehicle right now is still on hold, so I'm still able to get it reinstated, but it would eat up that entire cash amount that I have.
Okay. Is it just you? Do you have kids? Tell me more your living situation.
Thankfully, I do not have kids, so I only have to worry about myself. My job is fairly flexible, but I do rely on my vehicle for my job, so it's hard for me to gage how I should invest or what the budget should be.
Okay. What do you make? What is your monthly budget?
I make about 3,000 a month.
Okay. You need the vehicle, and it's going to cost... What's the exact amount that it's going to cost to get it back?
Roughly $1,400. It's everything.
Obviously, I guess my question is, what's changed in your situation? Because what I'd rather do is maybe take this $1,400, add a little bit more to it, and get a beater. Because what's changed about your situation that you'd suddenly be able to afford this vehicle is basically what I'm getting at.
Yeah. I guess nothing really has changed. I had attempted to put some payments towards the end of the loan, and so I'm already in a deficit as is. Right now, I guess, 1400 is impossible for cash. It's mostly vehicles with parts. So that's where I'm struggling as far as what budget would even be wise to look for.
But let's say you blow all your cash and get this thing back. You have no emergency fund. You have nothing. You just get this car back. What in your life changes that says you're going to be able to make the payment next month? They just took it from you because you couldn't make the payment.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's true What's the vehicle worth?
Before they took it?
It's worth $10,000.
And what did you owe?
With $10,500. And when I I looked at the total loan, it said I would end up paying $20,000. And the only reason I've been so attached to it is because it's a Toyota, and I know they can last a long time. So I guess I'm afraid of that.
What was the payment before all this repo business?
$336 a month.
Okay, so we were struggling to pay $336 a month. Now, I know you said you filed Chapter VII. Has that already gone through? What's that look like for you? What's the payment Is there a monthly payment that you're making on everything, or did they just take everything? Tell me where you're at in that.
I just filed. So they took my vehicle on Thursday, or they took my vehicle on Wednesday. I filed on Thursday, and now they won't release it to me.
What's your financial picture that you had to file bankruptcy?
Mostly because of my job, it's contract work. So whenever I am working, it's based on clients, and we've been having issues with insurance, with United Health care, dropping people. So it fluctuates. So when I say I make 3,000 a month, that's really just an average.
That's what I'm asking.
How much do you owe? Yeah. When you file a So in the group, so it's usually you have a bunch of debt that you're trying to clear out. So we're trying to find out what debt did you have and where did it come from?
It was mostly credit cards. I had probably around $60,000 in credit card debt. I have $90,000 in student loans, $10,000 on the vehicle. And then I also had a $20,000 personal loan.
Okay, so the student loans remain. And so what was cleared was the $60, the $10, and the $20. Obviously, they took the vehicle. So when you file, they were going to take the car anyway. That was going to happen anyway. So you still got the $90,000 of student loans, and now you just have no car to get to work, right? Correct. Is that where we're at today?
Yes.
Yeah. Okay. I stand by what I said. I think they probably took this car. Yeah, they might come after you for a deficit, but I don't think the solution for you is to go back to paying a car payment. I think the solution for you is to go, All right, I've got 3,000 bucks that I make a month. I've got to work like a crazy person, even if I need to take the bus for now and I need to stack up like 4,000 bucks. I've got 14,000. Let me see if I can double that. Fourteen-hundred, yeah. Fourteen-hundred I'm sorry. Let me see if I can double that very quickly. There are $3,000 beaters out there. Just so you know, the car that I drive, it's a Cadillac SRX. It's a 2013. It's worth $1,500. I've just had it for a really long time. If I sold it today, whoever bought it would be getting a steal. But that's what it's worth.
Well, if you're selling it, I'm buying.
I'm just letting you know they're out there. So you have to look for them.
Like a private dealer, probably?
Yes. Private sale.
Facebook marketplace.
Go to a church, say, Hey, is there anybody here selling a car? I'm in a bad jam. I mean, I got 3,000 bucks. Who can sell me their car, right? And I think, look for a Toyota, look for a Nissan, look for a Honda. Don't get a HHR.
Yeah, or a I hear a Kea with one button that just plays house music. Hey, okay, so what do you do for a living?
I'm a mental health professional, so I work with the youth. They're in home, and I help them before they go into to a facility or foster care, something like that.
Are you licensed? And then I also- Do you have LPC or an LMFT or something?
I'm working towards that. No, right now, I just have a QMHP. But I'm getting my master's, and in order to be in a practice.
Okay, so you're continuing to add to this $90,000 student loan debt?
Unfortunately, yes.
Okay. Here's essentially what you've done with the bankruptcy, you've never turned the faucet off. And so the faucet that buried you up to your eyeballs in debt that you called and you filed bankruptcy for, they came with a big bucket and took some of that water out, but that faucet is still going full blast. You're going to find yourself in this exact same situation. And if you are able to navigate that system, which is a nightmare, helping those kids out, what that means is you have skills that a local school district would want. Even if you had to go be a teacher on an emergency certification, if you had to go help out as a part-time social worker. Here's what I'm trying to tell you. You can't just sit there and say, Well, they're taking my jobs away, and I guess I'm just going to live in la la land. You've got to start taking your skillset and start hitting the streets trying to find places where you can work. And you've got too much value to add.
Can I bring my long term goal?
Here's the thing, and I say this in order to respect, it doesn't matter what your long term goal is right now, because you're trying to explain to me and Jade what your beach house is going to look like, and your boat sank out from underneath you in the middle of the ocean. You got to swim to shore first. Yeah. Right? Yeah.
Well, I plan to move to a different location to get more clients in June. So that's why I'm freaking out.
That's great. But even if you max out your earning potential, what is the max on your job? 50 grand? 60 grand?
Yeah, that's true.
And you're going to owe a $125 when you're all said and done?
Schedules, yeah.
I definitely need more income. You've set yourself up with a vicious math problem, and your heart is too good, and your skill set too necessary for you to chain yourself to this and then go out in the world and say, Hey, I'm here to help. You get what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. And so I think all you, your future dreams, your clients that you're serving now and in the future, everybody is served if you just hit pause for a second and clean up the mess, the big hole you've dug yourself. You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, absolutely.
And you're worth that. It'll be real, real, real, real hard. Jade, people get a picture of what they want their life to be, and it's like, I'm going to do anything I can do to get there. And man, on the way, you find yourself in a real mess. Yeah.
She can get out of this mess, though. I believe you can. You just got to start doing different things if you want different results.
You got to stop borrowing money.
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Sacramento, California. Let's talk to Amanda. Hey, Amanda, what's going on?
Hey, thank you for taking my call. How are you How are you doing?
We are freezing here in Nashville, but other than that, we're doing all right. What's going on with you? Good.
Me and my partner are getting married in September. Okay. Congratulations. Thank you. We've both been on Baby Step 2 since November, but we have no fun for our wedding, and we want to cash flow our wedding. So I just want some advice on what the best approach would be moving forward.
Cool. I'm excited for you guys. So the weddings in September, you'll have to do a couple of things at once. I think the first point is figuring out what's a fair amount of money to spend in ratio to the debt that you have. So making a realistic number. How much debt do you guys have combined?
Combined, we have 100,000.
Okay. And then what's your income combined?
Combined, 200,000 a year.
Okay, excellent. And so based on that, what do you think... I'm sure there's a number that's floating around in your brain of a fair amount of money to spend on this wedding based on those figures.
Yeah. We already have a budget going, and that's topping off at $18,000. And we have about $15,000 left of that budget.
To save?
To save, yes.
So you've saved $3,000. You have $15,000 to go?
Well, the 3,000 we have are the down payments on the wedding venue and the caterer.
Okay. I, for one, think that's a fair budget if you're committed to paying cash, because I feel like by doing that, you may still also be able to make some individual headway on your individual debts.
Yes, that's what I'm hoping.
Yeah?
Yeah. It's going to sound strange, Amanda, but I want to applaud you for that budget. It's excellent. I thought you were going to come in and be like, Well, we think we can pull it off for 250 grand. No way. Eighteen grand in California tells me you all are squeezing things pretty hard, right?
I don't want to spend a whole lot of money on a wedding. This is my second wedding. The first wedding was simple, but didn't spend a lot of money either. But we have a lot of family members helping out as well. So that's, I think, why we're able to keep it pretty low.
I think this is a great exercise for both of you to commit to this 18 grand number and do not budge, even if that means you both have to sacrifice something you wanted, or you really want, whatever. But yeah, I'm with Jade. I think it's a good move.
Okay, so just continue to follow the plan while saving some money each month to cash flow the rest of the funds throughout the next nine months. Yeah.
I mean, as much as you can get ahead, part of planning the wedding is understanding what you've got to have for deposits and have ahead of time. So as much as you can get ahead of that and not feel like you're behind the eight ball, I think that's really good. So maybe sitting down with your husband and plotting out from now until September what each month is going to look like, what each of you is going to contribute. And that way you have a plan together. And then you also are then able to make your plan him for his debt and you for your debt, how much you think that you're going to be able to put towards that. And it's not going to be perfect, but at least you have a sketch of what that's going to look like.
Jade, I have a question for you. Would it make sense for there to be a single account here that money gets put into, or I'm going to come up with 9,000 and you come up with 9,000-ish?
I think, yeah. If you wanted to set up a fund, an account somewhere that's like Switzerland, and you put all the money in there, and then everybody can see it, and there's full transparency, I think that's good. And then each of you is responsible for certain tasks. Maybe you're handling all the food and beverage, and maybe he's handling all the... Maybe he's handling nothing. Maybe he just puts his money in the account. That's fine. I like that idea.
I'm glad you have that perspective. My bias is so skewed because the only people who call me are when they put all the money in the account and then they break up three weeks before the wedding and they don't know what to do. I know that's not the vast majority, but my bias is so skewed. I think it's a good perspective.
Yeah, I'm not opposed to that at all. I was trying to think about how Sam and I did it, and I really don't remember. So I like that idea. It's not bad.
Very cool. All right, let's go out to Newark, New Jersey, and talk to Tiffany. Hey, Tiffany, what's going on?
Hey, I'm good. How are you all?
Excellent. What's up?
I just finished Baby Step 3. I work in the film industry, and my income has decreased due to changes in the industry over the past 3-5 years. I went from making about 80K a year to, now I make about 52K. So bring home like 3,200. I feel like I've hit a ceiling in my career, and so I'm preparing to get my MBA to gain more opportunity, but I still want to stay in my field. But I also am not planning to take out student loans. I'm looking at the scholarship route. So my question is, should I pause Baby Step 4 and stockpile cash to live on, or should I try to start a side business? And I've been considering to pay my bills while I'm in grad school.
The first question is, how long have you been working in the industry?
Six years.
Okay, so what is an MBA going to give you that you seeing multiple businesses run all at the same time all... Like, film industry, there's so many different businesses happening all the same time. I would think you have a grasp on the business world that very few people have. What would an MBA get you that you don't already have?
More opportunities, specifically in the world of producing on a studio level. And that's where a lot more of the money tends to come from. And a lot of people who I've talked to who have gone that track, that's been a huge recommendation is to get my MBA.
Okay, so my second question would be, can you not get your MBA and still continue to work at the same time?
That's the thing. A lot of the scholarships that I'm looking into, you have to be a full-time student. I guess it's not impossible, but it would be a lot harder, where I'm not sure how successful I would be if I was able to focus full-time on the program.
And it's two years, Yes.
One program I'm looking at is two, another one is three.
Okay, so even if you get a full ride, I want you to also calculate in the lost $52,000 per year. Okay. So it's going to cost you the tuition and your... In the college world, room and board, right? You're going to still have to live, you're still going to have to eat, right? And buy a computer and all that stuff. But you're also going to have the missed opportunity of $104,000 $1,000 in income over two years.
Yeah.
Just when you're calculating out the ROI on what you think this is going to do for you and what you think, if you're watching the film industry dissolve underneath you, as everyone is across the country, is getting into production, putting all your eggs in that basket to the tune of $104,000 minus two years in the workforce to then circle back. Is that a good ROI downstream? That sounds really tenuous to me.
I just have a hard, and I may be totally wrong, Tiffany, but I have a very hard time believing that an MBA in a classroom is going to be better than on the job experience. Am I wrong?
So the programs that I'm looking at, with the film industry being very much it's who you know, it's where you go, it's also being able to tap into a very specific, what is it? Network?
Yeah, that's why it seems like being out there meeting people, being on jobs, being on sets. I don't know. I'm likening it to the music business. I would think that that's far more valuable than being in a classroom, being taught concepts.
Both Jade and I work with literally folks, men and women from the film industry that are here on staff that video everything and all the things all the time and edit and cut and produce. I don't know a single one of them has an MBA.
Yeah. I'm not trying to... You're there, I'm not, but it doesn't feel... It doesn't seem like it's going to return what you think it's going to return. To John's point, it's a lot of time and money lost. I think if you can find a way to work while doing this and you're getting it paid for for scholarships or for a free, fine. But to lose three years without work, I don't know about that. Yeah. I might go back to the drawing board on that plan.
I remember a lot of my students went to grad school because they were bored with their current lives or they didn't like their current jobs. And that's not a reason to pause for two or three years, take out a bunch of debt, or not make an income. So just think all the way through it. Hey, what's up? This Dr. John Deloney from my friends at Mama Bear Legal Forms. I spend a lot of time talking with people about anxiety, relationship challenges, and all kinds of other things that keep people up at night. One thing I'm always telling everybody is that peace does not come from avoiding hard things. Peace comes from facing hard things and directly walking through them. One of the hard things we all face is our own mortality. If you've got kids or people you love, creating a will is one of the most important things you can give them. I'm such a big fan of Mama Bear. When I moved from Texas to Tennessee, one of the first things I did was set up my will through Mama Bear so that my family was protected in my new state. Mama Bear will help you make a clear Here, legally valid will in about 20 minutes.
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Hey, Well, so I am on baby step one, maybe two and a half. I am $79,000 in debt at 26. I got fired in March of 2025 for my job. I've been living purely on my VA income, which is about $3,000 a month at this point, and I'm still a certified paramedic. I'm going back to school with the VA once again, and I just really feel like I'm behind on Life at this point and really don't know where to turn with as much debt as I'm in.
Well, dude, I'm glad you called, man. How old are you?
26.
26. You got laid off in March. How come you haven't gone back to work?
I have been struggling to find jobs that can work with my schedule as a student. My job that I got fired from worked pretty well with my school schedule, and it really didn't conflict much. Being a paramedic, the only jobs I can really find are with fire departments or private ambulance companies that have pretty oddball schedules that don't really work with school. I have a few interviews with hospitals that are hiring paramedics here in Houston, but I haven't really found much success with getting past an interview.
What are you going to school for?
I'm going to school for finance, ironically enough.
Okay.
When are you finished?
I'll be finished in October of, not October, December of, 2029.
Oh, so you're just getting started?
Yeah. Can I... So anytime I feel squashed or I feel stuck between an either or decision, one of the things is just a practice I run myself through, and my wife and I do it, is we just dump a bunch of variables on the table just to remind ourselves we're not trapped. Because you've trapped yourself. You've trapped yourself into this is the only job and has to have this schedule, and I have to get this degree in this area right now.
I am walked into where I go to school because I'm on VRE as a disabled veteran. They determine my schooling and everything like that because they consider it vocational rehab, and that's the other side of it.
But you can't pause for a year and get your feet underneath you financially?
They would require me to pay back what they've already set forth for school.
All right, then if that's the case, then you're going to have to pause looking for paramedic jobs, especially since that's not what you're going to school for. And you're going to have to look at becoming a teller at a local bank, learning finance from the floors, like sweeping the floors on up. You're going to have to let that dream for a season. Because here's my concern. I can hear it in your voice. This is less... And Jay is going to walk you the money part of this, but you've stopped believing in yourself.
Yeah.
And getting up and going and contributing to a thing is way more important than making sure it's in the field that you want, or you happen to have a certification because of your military, all that stuff. Brother, you need to get up where people see you and they're glad that you're there.
Yeah.
Right? Especially if you were telling me you're going to go to nursing school or you're going to do something like that, that would make sense that you're trying to get a job in a hospital. Right now, you're just pausing the workforce. Yeah. And you're getting a degree in a totally different field. So start getting experience in that field. So four years from now, you got four years working in a local bank doing stuff or a local credit union, and you got a degree in finance, and now you're ready to hit the road. Do you hear what I'm saying?
Yes, sir.
Okay. Jay, talk to That's what I'm hearing. This good man about his money situation.
Tell me about the $79,000 of debt. What type of debt is that?
So I have $14,000 in student loans from paramedic school because I wasn't approved for the GI Bill when I first got out of the service. Understood. So I have $14,000 in student debt, I have a $15,000 personal loan that I use to pay off all my credit cards. At the time when I was working, it was, I think the interest rate is on it, it's only 5 %. It was a good idea at the time because it helped ease a lot of my burden. Instead of paying multiple banks, I was just paying one loan. Understood. It's my car, that's $800 a month as well, and that interest rate is 7%.
What's the full balance on the car?
38,000.
Okay. Where's the rest? I got 68 here.
The rest is, I think Let me see my car here. I might have miscalculated on my car. Is it 48? It's 48. You're right. Yes.
Okay. So that's the glaringly obvious thing right now. You're basically making 4,800 from the VA a year, and your car is 48,000.
Yeah.
The good news is that's something you can make right this weekend.
This weekend, brother.
Okay. Do you have any money saved anywhere?
I've spent my whole savings when I I first got fired, trying to keep afloat.
Okay. Here's what I think the plan of action is. First off, we're going to give you every dollar because I think that you don't have a budget. Christian is going to pick up, we'll get you every dollar, and that's going to help you see with the $3,000 that you're currently making, to John's point, you're going to start making more, but today you make $3,000. We're going to see how much margin you have, and we're going to set a plan for how quickly can you save up a little bit of cash so that you can get out of this $48,000 and into a cash car that you're maybe paying four or $5,000 for. That's the plan. I want all forces focused and trained on that mission. Then once you do that, we can say, Okay, now we just have $30,000, $29,000 to clear out here. We're going to start with whatever smallest. If the student loans are broken up to pieces, we'll start with throwing any extra money on that smallest student loan and do it like that. This is something that you can get out of. What's going to really break you free is income.
That is the magical elixir for this entire deal here.
Imagine your life, even if you just go get a job making 36 grand, another 3,000 bucks a month, think of how that changes your life. If you suddenly have 6,000 bucks, and especially if you're doing it towards the field you want to get into, even peripherally. Cleaning the trash bins at a local credit union, it gets you in the door, right?
Yeah, it does.
And so I would exhale and put my dreams of being a paramedic to rest and get on about, if that's what you want to do, finance for whatever reason. If that's what you want to do, I would put all my energy going that away.
Okay.
How upside down are you on this truck?
It's not that. What do you mean by upside down?
Do you owe more on it than you could sell it for?
It's a 2026.
What do you think you could sell it for a private party?
I'm not even sure on that side.
So if it's anything less than 48, that would mean you're upside down. So let's say you owe 48, but when you look it up on Kelly Blue Book, the Kelly Blue Book, it says, I don't know, 46 or 45. That mean that you're $2,000 to $3,000 upside down on it.
Okay dokey. And don't look to go trade it in. Look to sell it to somebody on Facebook marketplace. Okay. Put in the ad, I'm a veteran selling my truck or my car. It's in great condition. Here's what I'm asking for it, and get that sucker sold. And then you'll feel the weight of this. Just leave your shoulders almost overnight.
And if you are upside down, what you would do is you would just go over to the bank or a credit union, wherever you can get somebody to loan you the 3,000 or whatever it is. Hopefully, you're not upside down. But if you are, that's what you would do because you're going to need the full amount to get the title. So If you sell at a private party, you're going to need to put whatever you owe with it in order to get that and get a clean title. Yeah.
So thanks for the call, brother. Thank you for your service. And it feels like you are way behind and you're under a huge mountain. The good news is You're only 26. You got a long way to go. You're in school, you're doing the right things. You just got to get some right things in order, and you got to get out from underneath that big, giant car payment. This is The Ramsey Show.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio. I'm John Deloney, joined by best selling author and wonderful human being Jade Orschall. Taking your calls on money, life, your relationships, whatever you got going on, your work, all of it. 888-825-5225. Let's go out to Phoenix, Arizona, and talk to Shelby. Hey, Shelby, what's going on? Hi. How's it going? We're doing great. How about you?
Doing good today.
Excellent. Excellent. What's going on?
So I am almost out of debt. I'm so close I can taste it.
Congratulations. How much have you paid off?
So You are just over 50,000.
Oh, my goodness. Amazing. That's awesome. Good job. Great work. What's up?
So I'm almost out of debt, but it feels like my mom wants to keep me in debt. Every little thing that happens, she's offering me money. Oh, just pay me back $20 a month. Just pay me back. And I don't want to do that. I'm so close. I don't want to take more money, but at the same time, it would really help me.
Okay. This is like classic temptation. Of course, the idea sounds good, but you've already decided it's not good for you to do that. So it's a moot point, right?
And it's something like, she did loan me some money recently. I had emergency dental work done, and I have $1,000 saved. No more than that. And it was the point I need it done, but my card will decline if I try to pay it, and I'm sitting here in the dentist chair.
And so she's offering you the money is what you're saying?
Yes. I took that. It felt like I gave her a little bit, and now it's bigger things. Oh, you have to pay 3,000 in taxes. Let me loan you money. Just pay me back someday.
Or I think you could get money. You don't have to say yes.
I know. I don't know how to broach that because it's coming from a good place. She wants to help me, and yes, it would help.
This has nothing to do with her.
I was going to say, thank you, John. Go ahead.
This has to do with you. Because you know who else is sitting right there wanting to offer you money? Visa, MasterCard, Local Bank. And it's all in the same vein of, I'm not going to borrow money anymore, especially from somebody I've got a close relationship to that would drive a wedge between us.
Yeah, and I told her, I don't want you to be my lender. You're my mom.
What did you tell you, though?
If it was a gist, I would graciously take it. She just wants me to take it. She's like, Oh, it would help. Let me help.
Of course it would help. It's not help. But that's not what we're doing here.
Yeah.
That's not what we're doing here. And I'd even go back further. I mean, walking into the dentist. That couldn't have surprised you, right?
It was an emergency dental work.
I get that it was an emergency, but every dentist I've ever met has some payment plan, some program, some... I can give you $500 today. I can give you $1,000 today. It's going to wipe out my emergency fund. And then I'll give you... I don't know any dentists that doesn't have some plan because they deal with that all the time.
Nobody has dental insurance.
My plan I had there was 1,200 today and 1,200 next week, which I couldn't afford. So she did help me. But now it's even bigger things. She wants to help me pay my taxes. She wants me to get veneers for my wedding. Hold on. Hold on.
Just think about. The answer to all that is, I'm so grateful, but no, thank you.
Okay. That's it.
And then you are going to have to go through and get wedding photos without new veneers on. Yeah. You're going to have to scratch and claw and work extra and do whatever to pay your taxes. By the way, by April, right? No, I'm sorry. When are they? Yeah, by April.
Yes, I need a 3,000 by then.
Yeah, you can do that. You're so close. How much do you have left?
With the 2,500 my mom just gave me, it put me back up to 9,000 left. Okay.
How much do you make?
I make between 60 and 90 in a year. Most of my income is bonus.
Okay.
Bonus. But like last year, I made a 78. Okay.
Yeah. I think the biggest part of this conversation is just you making a decision and drawing that line in the sand that you don't borrow money. And when you do that, it just opens up your mind to creating other scenarios for solving your problems. I think right now, as much as it feels like my mom is doing this, my mom is doing this, I think that you're putting out a radar. I think you're putting out a home. What is it? A homies signal that it comes to you. I think that's on you to go, I'm not looking for this, and I don't want this, and it's just nowhere in my view. I think that's going to help a lot. And then I think it's just you saying, Very clearly to your mom, thank you. But please don't keep offering me because honestly, I'm tempted by it, and I don't want to be tempted. I really want to live a debt-free lifestyle, and I certainly don't want to owe you money. And I think that's that on that. You got 9,000 to go. You've paid off 50. You've done a great job. There's no doubt in my mind that you can't finish this up and move on to the next steps.
And what I'm going to tell you right now is complete and total hogwash, okay? This has just been my experience with any finish line. Whether it's I want to get a new degree, I'm trying to lose X amount of pounds, I want to be able to run a certain time on a mile, whatever the thing is. Almost always, right before I get to the end, and this is woo-woo, the universe sends some huge temptation my way. I've just come to look at it as I'm being tested. Am I really who I say I am. Right? Yes. And you're so close to the end, and it just feels like you're so close, you've worked so hard, you've busted your butt to pay off 50 grand. And now the temptation is like, are you really all in on this deal? And I can imagine after 50 grand, making 75, you've been doing this a while, haven't you?
I actually started going crazy at my loans back in this last April.
Okay. So my guess is you're tired now, and you're bored of this.
Oh, yeah. I make too much money to feel like I have no money. Okay.
Just keep going. Keep going.
Yes.
Keep going through the boring, keep going through the tired, Keep going through the inconvenience. You're so close, you're almost there. Making 75 grand, when are you going to be done with this thing? Three months?
I hope so.
Will you commit to Jay and I that you'll be done?
I've only got two left out of the five loans.
Do what?
I only have two of the five loans left, so I'm almost... It's there.
Oh, man. What's your margin every month? What are you putting towards this every month?
So where I am in the snowball right now is 510. That's all my paid off minimums and the new minimums. And I'm throwing maybe another 7, 800 towards the month.
7, 800? What's your take home every month?
Ends up being about $4,000 to $5,000. Plus every other paycheck, I get a bonus anywhere between $0 and $2,000.
Every other check, you get a $2,000 bonus. So wouldn't Can this go a little bit faster?
It feels like it. I had a lot of moving costs that put a halt in it, and my last two bonuses have been zero dollars.
Understood. You're feeling a little bit deflated, I think. But I think that the last couple of weeks or even the last couple of months are not an accurate snapshot of the intensity that you have been working this. I think you've just had a couple of things that have really made you feel some type of way. I just want to encourage you to keep going. This is going to be gone faster than you think. I think you just have to remember how quickly you were going before the dentist hit, before the move hit, before all those other things. This is going to be gone before you know it, and you're going to feel a major weight off. Hey, don't to replace your $1,000 emergency fund. I think that's also going to help you going forward.
When you don't believe you can do it, remember, Jade and I believe in you. Keep going.
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Let's go to Wilmington, Delaware, and talk to Jamie. What's up, Jamie?
Hi.
How are we doing?
Good. How are you? Thank you so much for taking my call. I'm a huge fan.
Of course. Thanks for calling.
So my question is, I have a little bit of a dilemma, and I don't know how to handle it because I've already tried it in a couple of different ways. But my fiancé and I have been together for 20 years, and I know that sounds a lot. We're not married yet.
When did you get engaged?
We have been engaged for 12.
Nice. I have so many questions, but I won't even ask them. Go ahead.
Okay. Yeah, that's a whole different topic. So So he bought a house about 10 years ago. Well, actually seven years ago. I've been living with him for 10. Anyhow, when it was a rush closing and I was never put on the deed or the loan for that matter, because my credit was never that great. Well, recently, my dad passed away within the last five years, and he had everything in order when he passed, and it was a burden off me and my family's shores. And I'm trying to do the same for my kids. I know I'm not going to be here whatever. But whenever I bring this up to him, Hey, I think we should put my name on here in case something happens, he either pushes it aside or he comes up with stuff like, Your credit's bad, they're going to come and take the house, or we'll get in an argument and it's... He thinks I'm just after it for the house, and I'm not. Now, on a side note, in the deed, there's a clause that is a first right of refusal because it's bumped up against business's property. So if something happens, they would actually get the first right to buy it if it doesn't come to me.
Interesting.
So he could send it to his family, but his family would turn around and say, Okay, well, I'll sell it to you for dirt cheap, but they would have the first right of refusal before I would even get it. And I don't know how to address it because I've always brought it up. And like I said, it just keeps pushing aside. But I would like to have some security in knowing that if anything happens to him, that I would be able to have some place to live.
What is... Okay, yes. Tell me the finance side of it. Who pays for the house?
He pays for the mortgage. When I moved in, the deal was he would pay the mortgage and the utilities, and I pay anything extra, groceries, cable, anything like that.
And will that be the fact after you get married as well?
Yes.
And in your mind, do you guys have separate bank accounts?
Yes.
Okay. So here's what I'm going to say. This is controversial. You're operating separate lives. You're just living in the same house because financially, you're separate. You've spent 20 years, 12 years betrothed and have not committed. Part of me understands he's just going in line with the way everything's always been. You're separate. You're not on the mortgage, therefore, you're not on the deed. My money's over here, your money's over there. I can understand why it is that way. So unless you guys are going to fully commit And when I say fully, John, this is your space. But unless you're going to do that, you're getting the spoils of what you guys have put in place.
My guess is, and I can be way out to lunch here because every state is so different. My guess is you'd have a common law claim to this?
That does not go into play anymore.
Okay. Well, here's the- I never looked into that. I would look into it. But here is the... Under the guise of behavior as a language, I think he is telling you loud and clear, this isn't house. It will never be your house. You can live here, but this is not yours. You're not going to have a claim to it. Stop asking me about it. Right?
Yeah.
Okay. There's something powerful about just clearing all of the ice and snow off the sidewalk and standing firm and saying, This is what the sidewalk looks like.
What am What are you supposed to do? Should I save up and find something just in case something happens to him that I would be- You have to ask yourself, is he the father of your children? No, he's not.
Okay. How old are your kids?
They're all adults. They're 27, 25, and 23.
Okay. Do you have your own retirement, your own savings? Yes. What does that look like?
Well, my retirement, it's a pension. And then I actually am on baby step two, so my savings isn't that fantastic right now.
But- Well, it should be a thousand bucks, and you're trying to feverishly pay off debt. Yes.
Yeah, I'm on step two, and I'm rolling with it, and it feels wonderful right now. So I'm hoping that that feeling stays for a long time.
This is a gross simplification. I'm going to say it. It's going to sound rude. If we were talking in person, I would take a lot longer before I said this, but we've got to compress time because on the radio, okay? Yes. You've been playing house for two decades, and at some point, the play stops. It feels like you are recognizing, Oh, he could go in Any day, like all of us could. No. I'm going to be left with nothing.
Yes. Just to add to that, what you're requesting is a simple piece of paperwork to be added to the deed. It's easy. Yeah, it's not much. It's not much.
He's not at all.
And I even asked him, too, and I was like, Well, if you're so concerned about it, then put one of the kids on it. Put one of the kids. I mean, I know they're not his biologically, but he raised him. I mean, we've been together, like I said, 20 years, and my youngest is 23.
But it's not just that, though. It's not just that. He also hasn't married you. Yeah. Am I right? I don't want to overstep, but would you have gotten married way sooner if he would have done it?
Well, we were planning on getting married, and that's like I said, the whole other point. It's like when we got engaged, my oldest was just getting ready to start college. So we did the whole financial aid thing, and it would have really messed up my kids' financial aid. They got a lot of scholarships, they got a lot of grants because they didn't make a lot.
Okay, I understand.
So if we would have gotten married, that would have screwed up the kids' financial aid. So you say, every two years, and they were going to school for four years.
But it's still been twelve years. It's twelve years. But it's still been twelve years. It's twelve years. So, again, I'm not trying to overstep, but that is saying something. Yeah.
behavior is a language.
Okay.
Here's the thing. You can't make him do anything. All you can decide is, here is what I'm worth, here is what I value, and I want to be with people who think I have worth and who value me now and after they're gone.
Okay.
Okay. Any self-respecting husband, and I'm going to call them that, even though you aren't officially married, you've all been together for 20 years and- Yeah. Whatever, builds an entire ecosystem so that his wife carries on when he's gone. It's a shame that, what is it, 77% of households don't have a will. It's embarrassing. Yeah. Right? It's a shame that you would possibly consider that when you die, your house is going to go to somebody else and the old girlfriend is just going to be out on her own. It's so shameful. I'm embarrassed on behalf of men everywhere. Yeah.
I mean, the property is beautiful.
It doesn't matter if it's a one bedroom shack. It's been yours, but he's on the piece of paper, and any time you bring it up, he makes you feel dumb for it. Let me say it this way. You're not crazy. You just get to decide what's next.
Okay.
Okay? And like Jade said, it's a very low stress thing to add you to a deed.
Exactly.
It just is. I'm with him. But my guess is he has actively kept you off the deed because this is his house that you are living in, that he's paying for, that he's going to pass on to his family. If that's the case and you decide to stay with him, great. You need to make other plans with saving things, paying off debt, getting yourself set up for the inevitable day when one of you, till death, does you all part, right? Or you can say, I'm worth more than this. I just am, and I'm going to be with somebody who's going to care for me now and sets up a plan for me after I'm gone.
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All right. Today's question comes from Brianna in Nevada. She says, When I try to explain to my husband what a waste it is to eat out, he gets offended. I tell him we can eat out for 100 bucks and never see that money again, or I can buy groceries for 100 bucks in that last for a week. His response is always, But eating out still fed you, so you survived? What? Okay. He's trading the convenience of eating out for our long-term goals of paying off debt and saving for a down payment. How can I convince him that eating out is keeping us from reaching our financial goals? Okay, so I think what's actually at play is just two sets of values here. He's willing to go to a certain extent to pay off debt, and you're willing to go beyond the extent that he's willing to go, if that makes sense. Oh, boy. Okay, so these are the ones, John, I wish we had more to it. I'd love to know how much debt they had. I'd love to know what their income is. I'd love to know a little bit more.
I want to know who cooks in this house, and maybe it's not great.
Yeah.
We have to eat out.
Honestly, facts. That is a real part of it. Some people eat to survive and eat to live, and other people eat for enjoyment. I'm a person, if it doesn't taste good, I don't eat I'd rather eat two bites of something that's delicious than a whole meal of something that's terrible. I just can't. So my guess is you're probably going about this all wrong. We've got to figure out a way to make this exciting for both people. I'm guessing you guys never aligned on why we're doing all of this to begin with.
That's it. To me, this looks like eating out has become the proxy war for the real issue, which is we're not aligned on Why this is happening. Sacrificing to get to a common goal. Yeah.
Yeah. And, and. Oh, boy. Let me just tread into this for a second. And the truth is, there's two people, right? He has a set of values. You have a set of values. You want to align on how are we going to do our money. You have to decide which hills you're going to die on because you're trying to get, in many ways, you're trying to get a little deer to come to you and do these baby steps. You don't want to scare it away. So So if everything else is trucking along and it's like, Hey, we're making progress. This is just the one area that they're a little bit reticent to come on board. All right. What's a way that we can slowly make that transition versus bashing somebody on the head of, You're doing 99% of the things I asked you to do. And then you're slamming them for the 1%, right? Maybe uncommon opinion, but maybe it's better than we think, right? Do you see what What are you saying with this?
Can we agree no appetizers, no drinks, and we don't have to get rib-ies? Yes. Do we have to eat out? Does it have to cost $100, or can it cost $40, or can it cost $35, right?
I would just hate for this one thing to be the bone of contention when so many other things are maybe on track or hitting right.
It usually is one of two things. It's that. It is somebody that amazing is the enemy of perfection. It's got to be perfect, or this is one of many, many places where they're not aligned. This is just the easiest place for everybody to land. We fight about eating out. We fight about money, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Yes. And only Brianna knows that. If that's the case, then 100 %. There's many things at stake here. But if truly you can look at the situation and go, it's like my husband making up the bed every day. He's making up the bed? He may not do it exactly to the T the way I make up the bed, but the man is making up the bed. So I'm just going to leave that right there.
And let me flip that around. I make the bed often. It's like whoever's the last one out makes a bed. And I notice sometimes that I come back in after making the bed.
She has redone it.
It's nicer than when I did it. And that used to make me mad. I used to be like, Oh, I'm not. And now it's like, You know what?
She can do whatever she wants. If she didn't say anything and she just went back in and remade it.
Great. Awesome. Amazing. We both won. We both won. And here's the deal, Rihanna, at the end of the day, you don't have to go out. Yeah, he could go by himself. You don't have to go out to eat. You can say, I'm going to save that money, and I want to stay committed to the goals that we made. And so if you feel like you need to go out, great. I'll just stay here and eat the napkins in the glove box because I guess somebody's got to- It's leading by example, which is pretty awesome. I'll just have yogurt and granola, and we'll call it or whatever. But you don't have to go. You don't have to go. You've got more autonomy in this thing than you think you do. But I don't know. I think there's a conversation beneath this conversation, which is, are we aligned on this deal?
I agree.
All right, let's go out to San Antonio, Texas, and talk to Lily. Hey, Lily, what's going on?
Hi. Yes. I am currently enrolled in an online class at GCU. I'm studying for education, and they have me with... They put my account, they linked with the FAFSA, subsidized loan. However, my mom offered to take out equity on the house and then pay her back.
Okay, what if you stop doing everything that you're doing except for going to school and just doing that somewhere else?
Yeah. So I currently also work full-time, and the program at GCU is one class every eight weeks, and that really works for- Did you say at TCU? Gcu GCU, yeah. Gcu. Grandsigning University.
Yeah. A private online faith-based university?
Yes.
Very expensive, correct?
Yes, it is. It's 1,500 per class. Oh, gosh.
Whereas you could get a teaching certificate. And by the way, and I don't want to be that guy, but I'm going to be that guy for a second. I worked a full-time job and got two PhDs while working full-time jobs. It was It was not fun. And had kids. It was not fun. It was miserable. And you do it for a season, and then you get on about your life.
Right.
Right. And so you're picking a very expensive place. And now it's all the way to where your mom is considering putting her house on the block. Exactly. Please don't do that to her.
Exactly. No. And that's what I told her. I don't want to do that.
Don't do this to yourself. This tells me that you didn't look through a whole bunch of other options because there are other options in your area.
Why does it have to be this one in your mind?
In my mind, it's because it's online and it's more flexible.
Oh, so we're just looking for flexible online school. That's the criteria? I love that. That means there's tons of options.
Tons of options.
Yes. I also saw the Western Governor's University, Wgu.
How much cheaper is that one?
A lot.
A lot. A lot, a lot. And by the way, I've worked at multiple faith-based universities, private schools. I love them. I'm a huge believer in them, but I'm not a believer in mortgaging your souls for it. I'm not a believer in your mom putting her house on the block for it.
Exactly. Right?
And so, yeah, you feel like you box yourself in. So I mean, that's not why you called, but I want you to be a teacher. We need more great teachers out there. We really, really do. I don't want you to go into debt up to your eyeballs and then have your mom breathing down. Just the whole thing seems like a mess.
Exactly. And that's why I was calling, because I didn't feel comfortable about it Yeah.
And so I didn't hear your original thing. Your FAFSA was linked to who?
So I guess the way I did it when I applied to GCU, they linked my account to do the FAFSA subsidized loan. So it was already going to start, because I got some money from the Pell Grant, but then after that money runs out, they were going to start putting it on the loan.
Yeah, but I bet the Pell grant will cover Western governors.
Exactly. And just quick question, do you guys recommend that one?
I recommend. Here's what I recommend. Don't borrow money. Yeah, exactly. And if you start with that as a chief principle, it narrows your options. If you're really want to... You're determined to be a teacher, you'll find a way. You'll be tired, and you'll be exhausted, and you'll have to do things that are inconvenient, whatever. But you'll get out, and you won't owe anybody anything. So that's what we recommend. But check out other options if that's your criteria, because there's many out there. This show is sponsored by Better Health. All right, as we head into the new year, I want you to take an inventory of all of the junk you're carrying. You know all those things you have to do, all those things you think you should do, all of the past hurts, all the past pains, all the past guilt and shame, all of it. When the world feels heavy, it's important to look in the mirror and consider, maybe for the first time time, setting down that old weight and choosing not to carry it forward into 2026. Therapy can help you identify the heavy stuff, set it down, and move forward with clarity so you can focus on who you want to become in the new year.
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Com/agent, or click the link in the description if you are listening on YouTube or podcast. Let's go back to Houston, and talk to Dustin. Hey, Dustin, what's going on?
Hey, John, how are you?
I'm good, brother. How are you, man?
I'm doing well. It's a pleasure to talk to both of you. You too, man. I'm a long-time listener and a first-time caller. I just need some guidance. My question is, would you guys recommend me buying a house, even though I don't like the job I'm currently in? I am 28 years old, single, never married, and no kids. I have a good down payment of about $93,000, various stock options of about $13,000, $44,000 in an IRA, $18,000 of three to six months of emergency and 35, 401k. As you guys can tell, I have been saving money for years at this point, and I'm just in a job that I'm not really passionate about, and I need your guidance, please.
I mean, if you think that there's going to be the opportunity for you to move cities here coming up in the next three to five years, yeah, I might not put down roots just yet. What do you think the horizon would be for you moving jobs?
I'm open to it. I've been based here in Houston my whole life, and I've always wanted to move cities, make a big change like that.
What's holding you back?
Family. My family is... I'm really close to my family, and we're all within a 10-minute span of each other right now. Currently live with my mom, so it's been a big blessing being here with her. I'm just not really sure if I'm ready to make that change.
It doesn't sound like you're at a place to buy a house yet. I always have just an internal hesitation. Anytime somebody says, they're not following their passion. Unpack that for me a little bit. Do you hate your job?
It's a job. I'm not passionate about it.
Okay. What have you created outside of work that makes you feel alive, that brings you joy, that hobbies, friends?
Hobbies? Honestly, this investing. As you can tell, I love investing. I love talking to friends about it. It's something I'm truly passionate about. And originally, whenever I went to school, I went to school for this, and things happened, and I had to shift gears Just not really sure where the- Here's where I'd rather you spend energy, and Jay, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this because you've made similar changes like I have.
Here's the thing. Any path you take is going to be challenging. Staying at home, challenging. Buying a house in Houston, staying in a great job that you just don't... I mean, it's just a job. And trading on the side because it lights you up and hanging out with dudes who like to trade, and you all I like to talk about that. That would be challenging, too. Packing up and moving to New Jersey, you're going to go with you, or whatever city you end up in. And just for an adventure, you'll go with you. So your same concerns and insecurities, all stuff will go with you. That's going to be a challenge. And so you've paralyzed yourself with, I don't know about this, I don't know about that, I don't know about that. I'm interested in you backing all the way out and asking yourself the old Mary Oliver quote, What am I going to do with my one reckless tiny little in life. Who do I want to be? What do I think is fun? What do I think is adventurous? You've set yourself up financially pretty amazingly. And if staying with your family is most important, cool, let's That's going to come at a cost.
If going on adventure is most important, that's going to come at a cost. If safety and security, like with your job, even though you're not wildly in love with it, that's going to come at a cost. Quitting this and going all in on a new career, that will come at a cost. So all All your paths are going to come at a cost. It's just you choosing which one do you want to do. You're not attached to anything else.
When I listen to what you said, to me, obviously, there's no wrong choice here, but the obvious is the life you have, you've been doing that. You've tried it. So there's no unknown there. Why not do the thing that's the unknown so you can get some research on that? If you stay where you are, you learn nothing new. But if you actually go try the things that you're thinking of, maybe I do want a different job. Maybe I do want to change the scenery. Go actually try it because Texas will be waiting for you if you ever want to go back.
Absolutely.
What do you do for a job now?
I currently work in oil and gas.
Okay. Last I checked, that's not going anywhere, right?
No, sir.
You're pretty good at it?
I believe so.
Okay, so finding a place, especially back in Houston, which is one of the oil and gas meccas, wouldn't be super difficult. It might be hard to come right back in with your stock options and same salary and all that, but you'd find your way back because you're good at what you do.
Yes.
Fair?
Yes, sir.
It sounds to me, brother, like you've set yourself up for just a moment as this to either take a risk, like Jade says. You know the life. I love that. You know- You already know this. You know this life. And if it's more than not bringing you the life that you want to have, cool. Or you set yourself up financially to really jump off the bridge and see if you can fly. If you hate it, great. We'll be back in six months. We'll be back in a year. We'll be back in two years. Jade, one thing I hear a lot is people think, If I take this job or if I move to this city, it just feels like forever, right? Sure. There's some freedom in realizing, No, it doesn't have to be forever.
I mean, specifically in his case, he's single, he's completely unattached. There's nothing keeping him. If he goes to New Jersey and hates it, there's nothing from keeping him from saying, Well, let me try Montana. All right, I hate that. Let me go to Utah. Now, it's different when you are up and moving a family of four and everybody's dependent. Obviously, there's things that can create more stakes there. But for a guy like this, he's 28. His family will be there. You know what I mean? Listen, you got all the time in the world. The world is your oyster. I would go try it. In your case, why I leave anything on the table? When we used to play basketball, back in the day, they'd say, Leave it all on the court. It's the same thing. Don't be looking back thinking, Man, I wonder what it would have been like if I had just fill in the blank.
Normally, we take this call from folks who are 100 grand in debt, who've got kids, got other responsibilities, and we're like, slow down, slow down, slow down. Man, you've done the exact opposite, Dustin. You've built yourself a great diving board platform to jump off from. So I final answer. I say, go. Yeah, go. Go do something wild and set a deadline on it and always feel free to come back. Jade, what's the big leap you've taken?
Coming here.
Coming here? Yeah, me too.
Yeah. All of my career choices have been a leap, but this is the most recent one.
Yeah. It was a leap for us to pack up from all of our friends and family and move across the country. And then it was an even crazier leap to leave everything I knew to come to this mad house.
I think the hardest thing... Well, It might be different for people, but I think the community aspect, like what he said, My family's here, my friends are here. I think that's the hard thing because it takes time to build those things. You can go to a job and have a salary and have a check a month later. You can put money down on a house and have that instantly. But the things that really make life, life and make you, you, are the people in the relationships. Those are things that take a lot of time. The the risk is greater because it takes time to see, Okay, if I put in and put in and put in, am I going to get the reward after however many years? Maybe you will, maybe you won't.
Right. Well, and my wife, if I could go back seven years ago when we moved to Nashville, or eight years ago now, that's what I would tell myself. My wife immediately plugged in with a gang, and it's been amazing. I've been here eight years, and I'm just now settling into, Hey, the power has been off for five days. I got some guys I can call, right? Yeah. And so there is when you pack up and move and you leave family, you leave friends, you have to be highly intentional about saying, not only do I have to get a job, and not only do I have to turn the Internet and the power on, I got to get a gang. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm John Deloney, joined by Jade Warshall, taking your calls live. Let's go to Las Vegas and talk to Steven. Hey, Steven, what's up, man?
What's up, John? How are you doing, buddy?
I'm doing good, brother.
How can I help, Well, so I'll try to make this brief. My wife and I were on baby step two. We're making great progress. Matter of fact, earlier today, I made the last payment on a credit card, got it paid off.
Atta boy. Way to go, dude.
We did. We're getting it. And honestly, I'm loving it. And I told my wife, I don't care if I'm a multimillionaire, I'm still going to be shopping at thrift stores. I don't see the reason to change that. Very good. Now, what's going on right now is with my mother-in-law. She My wife and I have been married for several years. We have a son. I work so she can stay home and be with our son, and I'm very grateful to be able to do that. She is very, very pushy when it comes to money, and she's made some really stupid financial decisions, and she's gotten She's tried to force my hand several times. When we first got married, I lived in Georgia. She moved in with me, of course, after we got married.
Are you talking about your wife or your mother-in-law? Who's pushing?
My mother-in-law. Lord help us. No, my wife. My mother-in-law was pushing me to sell my house at a time when the market was down, and we'd have been 20 grand in the whole hat I sold it at that time. She tried to get my wife to leave me if I refused to sell it at that time. Oh, boy. And she's pulled stunts like that several times, and recently tried to get me to buy a house, and I told her, Look, the market is up. If I buy it, the market's going to correct, and we're going to lose a ton of money.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. This has nothing to do with markets. It has nothing to do with any of that stuff. The only thing that matters here is Are you continuing to give your mother-in-law's wisdom and her advice and her threats and her demands, all of that is about power. That's not about homeownership.
It is. My wife is a good child, and so she's always been scared to not do what her mom says. She's gotten a whole lot better. She's come a long way.
I'm really proud of her. How does your mother-in-law even know the things that are going on in your house? Is Is your wife telling her? Is your wife talking to her about things that they shouldn't be talking about?
She's not said a whole lot, but she does tell her some things. And early on in our marriage, she told her too much. She's quit doing that. Good.
Okay, she needs to be the one that tells her mom, Hey, mom, thank you for the wisdom and the advice. But me and my husband got this.
Yeah. And I guess one of the questions, part of the problem is, I told my wife, Look, we're going to have to draw some lines in the sand with your mom. And If she crosses those, there's going to have to be consequences.
Wait, why? Why? Why don't you just let her mom say what she's going to say, and you'll go on about your lives?
Yeah. What's a consequence in your mind?
Well, I honestly don't know at the moment. It's just that she's caused conflict between my wife and I over this at times.
Okay, but your mother-in-law is becoming a proxy war for the real issue, which is, are you and your wife aligned on how you all want to do your life?
We are much more so. Honestly, the longer we've been married, the more aligned we are.
Okay. I want you all to recenter back on that. My dad and I see differences in politics. We see differences in economics. We see differences all over the place. And so when I'm around him, you know what he does? He does what a dad should do, which is he tries to tell me what I need to know, right? And I get to decide, I'm cutting you off, or I can listen. And there's been some wisdom in some of the stuff he's told me over the years. In fact, there's been a ton of wisdom. And a lot of it, I go, That's great, man. As for you in your house, you and my mom, you all get to do that. But me in my house, me and my wife, we're going to do something different. It's great.
Right.
Right?
Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. And if she's actively trying to divide you and your wife, that's the real issue, is that your wife has to put her foot down on that, because it's her mom. Right.
And if she won't, then you and your wife have an issue, not you and your mother-in-law.
And we come along... Like I said, we don't really That's not as near as much of an issue anymore.
I mean, my wife is- Oh, whoops. Go ahead, brother. Sorry, man.
No, it's all right. My wife has come into her own quite a bit. She was very scared to make her mom mad when we first got married. She's no longer that way.
Sure. And that's common.
So it's gotten better. But even though it's gotten better, you're still pushed to the point of calling a radio show. Yeah.
Your mother-in-law can't force you to do anything. Legally, morally, ethically-spirited. You You can't feel forced, right? You can just hang up the phone.
Right. Fair enough. I think that's the place. I think that's where we need to start. We're working on life goals, and we're going to homeschool our son, and I mean, we're very old-school, traditional Christians, Conservatives. Great.
It only matters if you and your wife are aligned on this, and then when you all get aligned on it, then you all decide together who gets a vote.
Right. And my position is, if you're not paying the bills, you don't get a vote. What does that mean? If you're not part of our household, I should clarify that because my wife stays home with my son.
That's what I was thinking. She gets a vote, obviously. She gets a vote, obviously.
She clearly gets what I'm talking about. I mean, because she's working regardless- Well, listen, and for whatever it's worth, I've got other men and women in my life who don't pay my bills that I've given permission to speak into my life.
If they see me acting in a way or saying things, they're like, Hey, that's not you, or you're about to do something stupid with your money. I've given them permission. I'm not just going to like, lone ranger this thing. That's how people just ride their horse off the cliff. But all I have to say is, you can't do that until you and your wife are aligned on who we are going to be.
That's good advice. Our pastor has been a great help to us, and I've been forever grateful for his wisdom. I've been grateful for you guys' wisdom because following the baby steps, I'm really loving it.
That's awesome. But I think, personally, and Dave and I have talked about this over dinner before multiple times, I think the magic of the baby steps is in married couples, it's a way to force alignment or a way not to force alignment, but to force discussions about alignment. And when a couple gets aligned, there's just no stopping them. You're absolutely right. But if one of you all is all aligned on your values, and you're dragging somebody else along on these baby steps, and their mother keeps calling to pull you off, and it becomes even a conversation. That tells me you and your wife aren't fully aligned on where are we going and who are we going to be, and then who gets a vote into the steps we're taking.
You give me some things to think about.
Is that fair?
No, it's very fair. You give me some things to think about.
Actually, it's- Can I tell you a way to do this? Because I have a feeling you're going to go home and tell your wife, You're not aligned with me. And that would be the wrong way to take it.
No, not at all. Not at all. Absolutely. I'm all ears.
Here's what I want you to do. I want you, not her, I want you to call somebody to watch your son for about three or four hours, one Saturday morning. You set it up. And then you take your wife and say, I want us to have a dreaming retreat. We're into this baby steps thing. We're paying off our debts. But we started sprinting before we really counted the cost of how far we're going to run here, who do we want to be? And you all dream about what you want your house to look like, what town you want to live in. As a part of that, we're going to dream about who gets a vote in our life. And you all come away from that retreat totally unified. You get what I'm saying?
I do. I love it. My wife will love that, too. Awesome.
Excellent, my brother. Deciding the identity first. I'm going to be the person who takes care of himself. I'm going to be the person that borrow money. Then I'm going to reverse engineer goals and steps that allow me to get to that identity, not just take off sprinting to follow the next goal. If you chase an identity with action, you'll get there.
Okay, picture this.
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Hey, Katherine, what's up?
Hi.
What's going on? Hi.
I am a single mom, and my child My child support ended abruptly last month. I have a mortgage and I have $77,000 in a heat lock that I just opened. I'm just trying to figure out how to get everything paid, the debt and everything. It's just very overwhelming. I knew my child support would end probably June. I was looking for part-time jobs to compensate for the loss, but this was just very unexpected, and I just have a lot of stress.
How much was it?
The child support was $900 a month. That was a big amount.
For one kid or two?
It was for two. However, he didn't end it when my son turned 18, and I don't know why.
The judge or your That ex.
The ex-husband.
What's the court order?
Until they're 18.
Okay, so can you fight this if he is choosing not too early? What's the situation surrounding him not paying until 18?
I don't know. His current wife does not allow him to talk to me.
My guess is he kept paying on your other child, and there was a net dollar amount.
Yeah, possibly.
And once he crossed that net dollar amount threshold, it stopped.
Okay.
That'd be my guess. Have you contacted an attorney?
I actually went to the child support office building. And they said because she's still in high school under Maryland law, he cannot just cut the child support. So I had to get an official document from the school and provide it. But for right now, I'm out that extra $900 a month with all these other bills coming in. Okay.
I have a feeling, don't get me wrong, he should pay for the kids. But I have a feeling there's a lot more that's part of this equation that's making this even tougher. You mentioned a $77,000 helot. Can you tell me a little bit more about your personal finance, what you're earning, how old the kids are, all of that stuff?
Yeah, sure. My My kids are 18 and 24. Only the 18-year-old lives at home. I own my house. I owe 200 in the first mortgage and 77 on the heloq. Okay. I have a $10,000 personal loan I'm paying on. I have a car payment. I owe, I think, $20,000 still on my car. I do have $4,700 in savings, so that's good. What do you do for a living? I am a CNA, Certified Nursing Assistant.
Okay. What does that bring you in every month?
About $3,200.
Okay. And how much is your mortgage again?
My mortgage is 12,91. Okay.
Plus the HLAC.
Yeah, then the HLAC is 4,90.
Mama, that's what's getting you.
Why did you take out a $77,000 Hielo?
Because I had a credit card debt, and the minimum payments were getting up to $300, $350 a month.
So you traded $350 a month for 4: 90 a month?
Well, I mean, that was just one credit card. Okay. So overall, it was like almost $1,000 in minimum payments.
Okay. So We can't really go back, but the logic there was flawed, is what John is trying to tell you, because now we're paying 1,800 bucks a month to live where we were once paying 1,291, and it was way more reasonable with your income. Gurly, I think that you put yourself in a really tough spot because this is now your home that's on the line, and it is now half of your income, more than half of your income. So for that reason, unless you see see your income going up drastically here soon, you put your house on the line because your mortgage can't be 50 % of your take home pay.
How much equity do you have in this house?
I have 95,000.
So you barely have enough to even clear the heat lock. Sheesh.
Okay. Here's the option. I'm going to just shoot you straight. Option one is you figure out a way to increase your income drastically. Because here's the thing, your child's 18, even if the child support lasted until June, it was still going to go away, which means by June, you still would have been in the same situation with your income. While I wish that you were still getting that money, in the grand scheme of it, it's neither here nor there. It was buying you a little bit of time here. Unless we can figure out a path to get your income up very, very much, you might have to sell this house. When you would sell it, what you would do is pay off the $77,000 heelok and maybe have a little bit left to clear out some of this personal loan, possibly all of it. It just depends on what the fees are. Then what you could turn around and do is sell your car and use the 4,700 you have saved and buy a cash beater and you're completely square. You're debt-free. You're debt-free, but you're starting from scratch and you're rebuilding something really new and something really awesome.
And I just told you a lot. I just- I just- I realized what I did. And I don't expect you to go, Okay. I expect you to go home and- Sob. It's hard.
Yeah.
But I mean, when was the divorce?
2010.
Okay. It sounds like there's been some, I don't want to say punting, but some bending around reality that over the last, what, 16 years, you've racked up 75,000 $1,000 in credit cards, bought a car you couldn't afford, tried to keep this house together for the kid. You get what I'm saying? I get it. Man, I talk to so many folks who have been divorced and you're trying to hang on to what was and trying to give the kids It's a good life. All that stuff is admirable and noble, but you just reached a line where the math isn't working for you anymore. You have a big math problem. Yeah. Are you working full-time?
Yes.
Okay. I guess the other option, like Jade said, is you just try to hang on to everything, and you decide for the next three to five years, you're going to work every overtime shift. You're going to work Saturday, Sunday, and you're just going to live that life.
That's a very tough life sustainability-wise, because even if you clear out all this debt, then you would be tackling the mortgage and you're still at 50 %. So the margin that you have to put towards this debt, you'd have to go crazy with overtime, and you'd have to do it for quite a while. So just putting that out there, if you're up for it, more power to you. But it's a journey.
Right. I understand.
I hate this for you.
It is what it is. I think.
Yeah. Have you sat down with your kids and just been honest about, Here's my financial position?
Yes. I mean, the one that lives with me, yes. Sure.
Okay. Yeah. I mean- There's- Go ahead.
I was going to say there's part of it. It's a perspective thing. Obviously, The suggestions I gave aren't neither fun. But there's part of that. I like the idea of a fresh start. I love that, Jane. That could be really a great adventure for you and scary, but also really, really great. The debt is gone, the mistakes are gone. The kids are gone. And you're just now out here living your best life. That's pretty awesome.
Well, and I can say my wife and I did very similar. We sold the house, sold stuff, moved into a dorm. You've made similar sacrifices. And it looked at the time to my friends and community, we're crazy. But it was a path to freedom. And it was the fastest path I could get to. At that point, I was more interested in what's the fastest way to get to between two lines, right?
I'm just going to fly. And it's not taking a step backwards. It's taking many, many steps very quickly forward. To get to service.
Yeah. So it's a tough pill to swallow, but that's the mathematical reality.
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Hello. Thank you for taking my call.
Of course. Thanks for calling. How can we help?
I'm wondering how I should go about paying for a new AC unit for our house. We don't have any cash to pay for it.
All righty. Tell us what money you do have. What are you earning every single month?
My husband makes $5,939 a month after taxes before insurance. I am a stay-at-home mom.
There's zero money saved, is what you said?
We have $1,800.
$1,800? Yes. Okay. What's it going to cost to get the new AC?
We got two opinions. One smaller business guy said it was going to cost about $10,000, and then a more well-known business in our area said it would be about $15,000, but that they could offer rebates that could get us down to about $12,000.
Okay.
But I've heard that the rebates can be difficult to get.
Sure. So is it completely out? Is it completely dead? You're sitting there in the cold?
It's not completely dead. It's our air conditioning unit.
Not the heat.
It's really hot.
Is there a possibility you can let it ride for three months since we're in the middle of winter?
There is a possibility, yes. But of course, in Phoenix, in the summer, demand gets a little bit higher. The prices of things go up. We wanted to get ahead of it if we could.
Yeah, but here's the thing- Before it got hot and we need to turn it on. I get that. You just don't have the money for it.
Yes.
Yeah. But there could be time to save money and get it done before June or before May hits.
I am currently using the Every dollar app, and I am in the red. I have only used the Every Dollar app this month. Prior to that, I was budgeting in a book for about six months, and I wasn't really getting anywhere.
Okay. Tell me about being in the red. What are you seeing that is the issue?
We have a car payment and credit card debt, a little bit of medical debt, and a little bit of a private student loan.
Okay. Right now, are you- All together, it's about 1,400 in debt a month. That's minimums?
Yeah, that's all minimums.
Okay. And then how much is your mortgage or your rent or whatever?
One I'm 1,100, but my husband pays an extra $100 on that.
Okay, so that's definitely not the problem. So we've got about $2,500 here. Tell me where else is the problem because we've got a great mortgage We've got minimums covered. Where is the other 2,600 going?
We're spending about 850 on groceries a month. There's six of us, two adults, four children. Great. Two of them are teenagers. One of them is in elementary school, my four-year-old.
Yeah, I think that's great. So now we're down to 1,800. Do you see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to pinpoint the issue. There's something here. Do you have daycare?
No daycare.
Okay. There's something here that's eating your lunch. You'll be able to see it in every dollar. But right now, you're in a point of a little beyond four walls. It's like, okay, I've I got to make sure I'm paying the minimums on everything. Obviously, I got to keep food on the table. Obviously, I got to keep the mortgage covered. We just covered that. Unless there's some medical thing or a lot of insurance that I don't know about. My goal right now would be a little bit of a storm mode, and I'm not trying to pay anything extra. I'm just trying to figure out what's putting me in the red, and is it something that I can tweak and change? Because we have a countdown clock that's set for May first that we've got to get to. So not only do I have to figure out what's putting us in the red, now the next thing is, Okay, where can we bring in more money? Is it something that you can pick up work? Is it something that your husband can pick up work? Let's take some time and brainstorm that out.
Yeah. We are spending about $820 a month in insurance premiums. Okay. And my husband, he is an executive sous chef. He works from 08: 00 AM to 10: 00 PM, five to six days a week. He could not pick up anything I could I tried to do something. Previously, my job, I was cooking as well. Got it. And now I have to have the flexibility to drop off all the kids at school and pick up all the kids. How many kids? And that industry does really Four. Four? Four. Three of them are in school, and I have my four-year-old at home.
Four-year-olds at home. Going to go to school soon for kindergarten, I'm guessing. So back to the budget. I'm still having $980 that I'm seeing that's unaccounted for, and it's probably going here or there, but that's what I I want you to get to the point, and you got to, of what is necessity? Because you guys are in a necessity mode. If it ain't a necessity, clocking it out of the budget because you can't afford it. You need whatever money you can find that you're going to add together with this 1,800 that you already have saved to start to be able to get closer to this $10,000 mark. So it's reverse engineering this math and saying, Okay, what do we need to bring in to get $10,000, really another $8,000 by May? And that's the math problem.
And here's the other reality. If you went out today and borrowed 10 grand to put this in, according to your budget that you've done on every dollar, you wouldn't be able to make that minimum payment.
Oh, yeah. You'd be now $500 more in the red.
Yeah. And so I would draw a really firm line and say, We're not going to borrow money. What must be true? And by the way, your husband works like crazy. Kudos to him. It might be for three months for his family, he's got to get up on Sundays and go throw boxes somewhere. Okay. Or get up in the morning after sleeping for a few hours and go. I don't know what else.
Maybe it's in the cars. Tell me about your cars.
Can you sell that car with a car payment?
Well, we have one five-seater car that is what he takes to work. That's paid off. And then the one that fits all of us is the one make the car payment on. That's $686 a month.
What's the total amount you owe on it?
21,000.
Okay. Do you know what it's worth?
Kelly Blue booked it this morning. Private Party, it was sitting at around $24,000. Okay.
What about the five-seater? What's that worth?
That I have had for a lot of years. It's a 2011, '14. Got it. Okay. It's probably only worth $2,000. Yeah.
Okay. I think John's right. I think there's going to be some strong discomfort that's going to take place here in the next couple of months, but it's going to be for a great gain because to your point, you couldn't afford a debt payment even if you wanted to.
Yeah. The one AC company, the bigger company, said that they had a 18-month, zero % interest financing option, but the smaller company doesn't do financing at all.
But it's still a payment. Here's what I want What do you do? It's still a payment. It doesn't matter if there's nothing gaining on it. It's still a payment. What I want you to do, I want you to swap where your brain power is going, because right now your brain power is going on. What types of payment plans they're offering, what types of debt there could be, right? I want you to switch all that power and go to, Okay, what can I do? What can I offer myself? What can my husband offer our family in terms of work? Do you see what I'm saying? Just shift all that over because John is right. If you don't take debt off the table, I guarantee you're going to do it.
And by the way, if many of those programs that are 18 months, no interest, if you don't pay it off in 18 months, all of that back interest is added to the loan.
Yes. I do have... I'm sorry.
Go ahead. No, you go ahead.
We are getting $10,000 in taxes back this year. I did a mock estimate online.
Great.
Should we use that to do it? Otherwise, my husband wanted to open a heat lock.
What? Don't put your house on the block. You have four kids. Please don't put your house on the block. Okay. Yes.
No.
That's what I thought you'd say. What? Girl, you should have told us that from the beginning. Now, yes, use that money. I'm sorry.
Use that money. Use that money for it. Okay, all right. We'll do that. That's great.
But not a penny more. Okay. Don't borrow money.
Understood. Okay. Yeah, we're trying not to. Absolutely. If you've been paying off debt, working the plan, and have reached baby step four or beyond, you've done the hardest part. Now it's time to celebrate. The Live Like No One Else Cruise is back, March 14 through 21, 2027. Join all the Ramsey personalities and me as we sail to Half Moon Key, Cozumel, Jamaica, and Grand Cayman. Cabin sold out last time, and they will again. Lock in yours with a $600 deposit at ramseysolutions. Com/events. That's ramseysolutions. Com/events.
Today's scripture of the day is Hebrews 10: 35-36. So do not throw away your confidence. It will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. You all don't know this, but producer James Childs is one of the hugest Limp Biscuit fans of all time. And in honor of him, today's quote is from one of his heroes, Fred Durst. Fred Durst says, To walk around with an ego is a bad thing. To have confidence in yourself is a great thing. Shout out, Fred, and shout out, James, the biggest Limp Biscuit fan I know. Let's go out to Detroit, Michigan, and talk to Zane. Hey, Zane, what's up, man?
How are you doing?
We're doing all right, brother. What's up with you?
Just a little backstory. I was an athlete, and then I left school to pursue a job that I thought was going to be my career. It turned out it wasn't for me, and I got into a little accident. I'm 24 right now, and I got a $1. 2 million case settlement. I don't have much debt, not many expenses. I'm not working anymore. I'm just floating around. I don't have a place to really stay, so I'm just staying in my car for a while. The first check is supposed to be over six years. The first check is coming in a couple of days, and I'm not really sure what to do with it.
How much will be? 1.
2 million.
The first check. I thought you said the 1. 2 million is over six years.
Yeah, 200,000 for six years.
Okay, 200,000. It just... Okay, wow. Okay, so tell me more Tell me more about what you were doing. Tell me more about why you don't have anyone around you and why you're living in your- In your car.
Yeah, I was living with my girlfriend, and then I lost my job. I mean, I was an accountant, and I just didn't enjoy it. So I left that, and I guess I just- You left it with no other job? Yeah. I mean, I found out about the case, and I just walked out. A bad decision by me. I drove down to Phoenix. It just also wasn't for me. So now I'm back in Detroit. I have actually a job interview coming up in a couple of days, too. So I'm going to take that more seriously. I just don't know where to start. Do I get a house?
How are you feeling? Are you feeling great or are you feeling like a little down in the dumps?
Well, I'm scared. I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing, what my purpose is, where I'm going in life. And then all of a sudden, I get a big sum of money.
Sometimes this sum of money is... The way they say this legally is to make you whole. Are you going to have ongoing medical procedures or issues down the road?
No.
Okay. So they just wrote you a check that said basically it's like, our bad, here you go?
Yeah.
Okay. Wow. Okay. And how old are you, man?
24.
You said you're an athlete for a while. Tell me about that.
I played soccer at Purdue. And then I left that. I went to Detroit Mercy. And then I had a pretty good job at Big Boi, the restaurant corporate. And I was doing pretty well. I was doing the accounting for them, but I was just bored out of my mind. Okay.
So I think, if I'm totally honest with you, the chances of this money you look up in six years and you're right where you are right now, statistically speaking, is very high. So I want to applaud you. I'd hug you if you were standing in front of me. I want to applaud you for reaching out to get wisdom. It takes a lot of wisdom to say, Hey, I've screwed up. I was an athlete my whole life, and I've been floundering with who I am now that I don't have that structure. I thought I wanted to do this corporate thing. That wasn't for me. I screwed that up, too. You're wise beyond your years. So I want to applaud you, okay? Thank you. But I also hear that... I'm not saying this as a diagnosis, but I hear that underlying, I don't want to say depression, but you're just running low right now.
I'm just trying to...
I think you're worth calling somebody in the local Detroit area, and don't tell any of your bodies. You don't have to run your mouth about it, but just go sit down with a counselor and say, Hey, I just want to talk through some stuff. Because it sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight.
Yeah, and I'm just not really sure what the next step is with my life, I guess.
Yeah. I think this money hit at a time where there's honestly more important things to deal with. If I were you, just really quickly, because I want John to talk more about this, but if you have a little bit of debt, go ahead and pay it off with this $200,000. You got to get yourself an apartment. This is not the time to think about buying a house or anything.
Please don't buy a house.
Just get yourself an apartment near where you do life and keep it modest, and then just park the rest of it in a high-yield savings for right now. The next check for $200,000, when will you receive that?
Next year, I'm sorry.
Okay, so that's great. You're not receiving this... Oh, boy. You're receiving a lot of money, but it could be worse. If you were getting huge chunks, it could be a lot of damage done. But with this 200,000, for now, treat it like this is the money that you live off for the entire year, basically, until you can figure out what your life is, and John is going to help you with that.
I love you going to get a job. I think you having something to wake up and go to every day, even if it's boring, is a really good exercise for you right now. I would put a cap. This is just me. This is old me talking to 24-year-old me. I would put a cap and say, I'm going to buy a car for 20 grand or less. Okay. Because you're going to want to go out. You're going to have $200,000 dollars, and you're going to want to go out, and you're going to ask a couple of your buddies, and you're going to end up with a $90,000 car that will depreciate off a cliff, right? But if you go buy a $20,000 car, you get yourself a two-bedroom apartment that's nice, right? And then you park the rest of that money, like Jade said, and you go get a job, and you go talk to a counselor, and start squaring up who am I going to be? What man do I want to become over time? And what steps do I need to take to do that? Do I need to go back to school? Do I need to go learn a trade?
Who do I want to become? And I think you got to dig into some of those answers. At the same time, you're living life. You're working a job, you're going out, you're meeting friends, you're dating again. You're living this life. And what you'll have that most people don't is a in $75,000 cushion in a high-yield savings account that nobody knows about.
I'll give you one better because I don't want to be a complete buzz kill on the fact that you've got a little bit of money coming in here. Once you secure a job, and it's the job that you think you're going to work for a while, you can take, let's say, secure a job you're making, I don't know, $120,000 a year. Then you can say, I'm going to take $60,000, and I'm going to buy myself a car in cash. Yes. Okay. You know what I'm saying? And that way, you've done the fun thing. But for the most part, this is your legacy money. You can blow $1. 2 million in a hot second. You can blow $200,000 a year in a hot second if you're not smart with it.
And everyone around you, listen to me, everyone around you is going to tell you to buy a house, buy a car or two, to always pick up the tab when you go out to a restaurant, to buy crypto. Everyone's going to have an opinion. If you get a job and you qualify for it, I'd just go ahead and fill up your Roth IRA for the... I mean, you can do some really smart stuff. You can sit down with a smart investor pro, too. But I would put that money in a high-yield savings account and start to square up the question, who am I going to be? What man am I going to be? And because you have found yourself alone right now, I want you to go sit down with a professional. I have done it, and it made tremendous difference in my life. And many of the men that I trust have gone to sit with a counselor, too. I just think that's where you're at right now, brother, because I can hear your voice.
Yeah, it's It's a blessing, but it's also scary.
Yeah, it's awesome. But the fact that your first thought was, I'm going to reach out and talk to a coach first, tells me that you're wise. You're wise beyond your ears, brother. So I applaud you.
Thank you. There's nobody better. I've been listening to you guys for a while now.
That's awesome. Will you make Jade and I a commitment?
Yes.
By March 1, you'll be debt free. You'll have yourself a nice but not crazy car, and you'll have yourself an apartment? Yeah, I promise. And you promise you'll have the rest of that in the high-yield savings account, and you won't tell any of your other friends this money's coming? I promise. Excellent. Now you're on the path, brother. Proud of you, dude. Jade, I don't want to say I'm proud. He got in a wreck and got money or got in an accident. He's okay, so that's good. Yeah, I'm glad he's okay, and I'm glad that he's wise and said, Okay, my life just changed, and I don't think I've got the mental or emotional capacity for it. I'm reaching for help. That's right. It's good. If you need to talk to somebody, go talk to somebody. Love you guys. Bye.
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