What is up, guys? It's Andy for selling. This is the show for the real. Let's say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking Reality, guys. Today we have Q&A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Dj is going to tell you how to submit your questions.
Guys, you can email these questions in to askandy@andyfrasella. Com. You can also click the link in the description below to submit them for a chance to be read or drop them in the comment section of the Q&A of episodes at Andy Forsella Motivation on YouTube.
Now, if this is your first time listening, we have shows within the show. Tonight, we're going to have CTI Live at 07: 00 PM Central Time on YouTube and X, formerly known as Twitter. Sometimes we're going to We have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses where someone who's completed the 75 Hard program comes on the show. We talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard program to transform their lives. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it's the initial phase of the Live Hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. You get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book. The book is available at andyfricella. Com. It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. I happen to have the guy who wrote the forward for the book sitting directly in front of me.
He was like, Hey, me.
Yeah, he's not a DJ. It's Mr. Tim Grover. What's happening, bro?
Everything's excellent, brother. What an honor, man, to be able to do that forward for you.
Bro, you have no idea. It's not your honor, it's What was the first thing you said when he asked you?
The first thing that came to mind.
Of course. The only thing was a background story about that is my agent Sherry got a call and said, Listen, we need the forward. We need the forward. Right away. She got in contact with me. We wrote the four, we sent it to her. What came out a year and a half later.
Oh, yeah. It took us a minute. It took us a minute. But a lot of you guys don't know, but Tim has been one of the guiding, I guess, mentors in my life for a very long time. I was introduced to Tim through his book, Relentless. When I read that book, I was pretty sure that I was the only person like me on the planet. I was in a very dark space. I was, like a lot of you guys, very ambitious, working very hard, and felt completely out of place. I read that book, and I say this often, dude, I think it saved my life for sure. I know it did. To have you write the foreword of my book is just, I mean, bro, it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened in my life.
It's an honor, man. You know how I feel about you, by the work that you've done, your history, what you've built, everything, you as a person. It wasn't even a... We get asked all the time. I mean, I know how often I get asked. I don't even know how many times Sherry gets e-mailed about people asking us to do forwards and quotes for the book. The answer is no.
Not nobody here. Listen, it's pretty awesome, man. It's pretty cool to have you as a friend. How we met was pretty cool. I read the book, I posted about the book on my Instagram, and you sold a couple of books. Then we met at Cardone's 10X, this first one.
Like sitting right next to each other.
Yeah, it was pretty cool, man. I was like, Man, there's Tim Grover. You turned around, you're like, Andy. I'm like, Holy shit. Tim Grover knows who I am.
Andy was wearing a suit.
Yeah, no shit. That's right. That's right. But we have them here today to go through some Q&A with you guys. It's a very special day for you guys. I guess we'll just get right into it, man.
Yeah, let's do it, man. I got some good ones for you.
You do?
I usually do. All right. Here we go. Guys, Andy. Tim, question number one. Hey, Andy. My name is Ty, and I'm from Nebraska. Since I was 16, I've been listening to you. I'm 21 now and have successfully I failed my first business. I started a construction company in 2025, and by 2026, we are done, and now I'm restarting. I don't have a great path in mind, but I know I need to pay bills, make money, survive for now. I was wondering if you had any wise words of MF wisdom for a 21-year-old who's determined to be a millionaire by 25.
Well, first, I'd say you're lucky to have that lesson in your repertoire now as opposed to later. Right now, when you're young, a lot of people, they're scared of failing, they're scared of looking stupid. You already got that We're out of the way. Yeah, successfully failed. So when it comes to losing, man, you can hate to lose, but also value the lessons that it learned, that it teaches you. Where you're at in your life, this isn't going to be your last loss, but hopefully, it's your most important. You have to ask yourself, instead of worrying about how silly you look or a failed business or any of these things, You have to just ask yourself, what did you learn? Because this path that we're on as entrepreneurs is a lifelong path. Tim and I talk about this a lot. When you're a pro athlete, you have 8-12 years, if you're lucky. If you're lucky. Right. And entrepreneurship is a unique game where you get to compete at the highest level, but it goes for as long as you want to play. Sometimes people opt out, sometimes people write it all the way to the end.
But the point of the matter is that you're very young, and to have started and failed a business at the age of 21, really, honestly, it's probably the best thing that you could have going for you. When I started in business, I started with a lot of little things. Even back to when I was a kid, I started selling baseball cards, selling light bulbs door to door, doing all these different things, and none of them worked. But every single time I went through one of these situations where things didn't work, I learned a lesson. As I've grown as an entrepreneur over the course of my life, I've started to change things from wins and losses to lessons. Okay, what did I learn here? What did I learn there? That goes for both the wins and the losses. I think to play the long game, you have to attach less of your identity to the outcomes in terms of wins or losses and more of your identity to the process. What am I doing every single day? What lessons have I learned? How is that going to help me get where I want to go? That goes for both the wins and the losses.
This is like you guys saw Indiana win national championship last week. They interviewed Signetti right after the game, and he said, What are you going to do? He said, I'm going to have a beer. But I guarantee you, he probably didn't have to. I bet you the day after that, he was back in the game working for that next one, for that next one. You're going to lose games. You're going to lose businesses. You're going to lose relationships. You're going to lose. But if you keep going, it's not a loss, it's just a lesson. I think the main thing that you got to keep in mind here as a young man is that you're going to have these situations repeat over and over and over again. Most people will identify a big loss like that as a defining moment in their life in a bad way, when in reality, every great person that I've ever met defines their losses as just part of the journey. They see it as a necessity that led to the outcome that they were after down the road. That's my advice, man. It's really just as simple as continuing to work down the path and continuing to get better.
What do you think, Tim?
Well, first of all, I'm still waiting on my light bulbs from you. I didn't realize it was you. Obviously, everything that you said is absolutely true. The one thing I would say in part of his question is, one of the reasons I think a lot of people fail in their thing is they put a timeline on like, like he said, I want to be a millionaire by the time I'm 25. You try to accelerate everything, and You may not be ready to accelerate at the speed that you think you're prepared for. So throw that number or that timeline out. Like you said, continue with the process, continue to work. Because Things, and you say this all the time, is things always take longer than you anticipate. They just do. They just do. And your story is not unique. Obviously, you said you've been listening to the podcast since you've been 16, so then you should be very familiar with First Form's history when you guys open up your first store and everybody was sleeping in the store. I think, I don't remember your first month or something, you made $12 or $18.
Yeah, seven bucks on first day. Yeah.
You don't have a unique story. A lot of people have gone through this. When you're taking a lessons from these individuals, don't think you're alone in this, but whatever mistakes you made, you cannot continue to make those same mistakes. It's like you have to learn You have to learn from this failure. Like they're saying, failure is a learning process. If you're going through it and you're going to try to do it the exact same way, the same method with even the same people and the same attitude, it's not going to work. There has to be some adjustments there. Maybe the people that you were doing business with or the some people involved in your business, you got to look at them and see if they're part of the win or part of the loss.
Yeah. I also think it's important for everybody to understand, dude, whether you're playing basketball or baseball or football or entrepreneurship or business, I mean, look, dude, you're getting the Hall of Fame of Base for batting 300. You know what that means? That means you fucking struck out or got out seven out of 10 times. Everybody that you guys look at and see as winning, they don't necessarily show those parts of journey. They should, but they don't. That's for a number of reasons. One, maybe they've got a massive ego and they're embarrassed of the things that they did wrong.
That's not cool or flashy.
Yeah, but the truth of the matter is that in my experience, those have been the most valuable things, the times when things didn't work out, the times when things didn't go the way that it's supposed to go, because it did allow, just like Tim said, for you to audit it and say, Okay, I can make this decision. This actually worked pretty good, but this didn't work well. Then over the course of time, you start to find that recipe where the things that work, work, and the things that you are weak, you replace with either people or systems or a new skill set, and then you go at it again. I think a lot of people, to your point, Tim, when they put these timelines on them, they get to be the 25, and they're like, Well, fuck, I didn't make it. You know what? It's not for me. Complete failure. Right. That's just not the game. The game is very long. These people that you look at and you say, I really want my life to look like that. I mean, dude, I can guarantee you if you get them and you get a couple of beers in them, they'll tell you all the horror stories they had to go through to get to that point.
Here's the thing. You look at the successful people and you talk to them and you go to them like, Man, you made it. The first thing I'll tell you, I haven't made anything yet. I haven't made anything. It's an infinity journey. It doesn't end. I'm not always saying that's the best thing, but the true entrepreneurship, the journey never stops. It just doesn't.
I think it's also important to note, dude, that the people who fail the biggest in life are usually the people that won early. We see this over and over again. We see this with the MVP of the high school football game. Oh, yeah. Or we see this with-Great point. Right. You started out and you hit on something and it made you some money right up front. What happens is, or like we see this with people's physical bodies, they were in shape, they were attractive, and then you see them when they're 40 and you're like, Who the fuck is this? The reason for that is because they never actually had to learn the skillset to produce that outcome. A lot of people who lose in life, the worst are people who won once. They won once, and then they can't win again because they attached their identity to that one win that came because you know what? There is some things that you're going to swing and you're going to hit real hard, and it might work out a little bit. But if you don't develop The work ethic, the skills, the habits that come behind that, you can't replicate it.
The truth of the matter is to this guy who's asked this question, Bro, you're in a much better spot than anybody could be over the course of the long term by failing that so early. If you had won that business so early, here's what your attitude would be. Everything I do wins. Everything I touch turns to gold. I know this from being around a lot of business people and a lot of people who have lost in their entrepreneurship journey, they constantly talk about that one time they won, and they attach way too much to that one win as opposed to, are you winning consistently? What's it look like five years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now? I actually think that winning early is a very dangerous thing for people because they never learn the skills or develop the lessons that they need to learn or replicate that over the course of their life.
The one thing I would also tell them, I was like, take a little journey into your upbringing. All right. How your parents, if you have siblings, how they handled winning and losing when you were growing not only for themselves, for you. Because that has a lot to do with your identity.
Yeah.
How much you attach yourself to it.
Well, bro, if you grow up around parents that are... Look, dude, There's the story of the two sons, right? They have an alcoholic father, and one son never touches alcohol because he saw what his alcoholic father did. The other son does exactly what his father did and ends up with the exact same life. You have to have the awareness and the honesty to be able to look at your environment of where you grew up and say, What did I pick up from that? What did I see? Sometimes that shit ends in fun to look at because, dude, we love our parents, and we're happy that they try their hardest, and we care about them. It's hard to look at someone that you truly love and say, Man, they fucked me on that. You know what I mean? Exact. Right. But if you're aware, if you develop that self-awareness to be able to truly dissect things for what they are, that's where you want to be. You want to live in that zone. You don't want to attach your emotions to either. You want to see things for what they are. When you can do that without emotion, it makes your chances for success that much greater.
Love it, man.
I love it. Guys, Andy, Tim, let's get to question number two. Andy, I feel like once people label me capable, the expectations never stop. I can't fail quietly anymore. And that pressure makes every decision heavier. It's like, I am expected to succeed now. So what do you do when you don't. I know every single at bat isn't going to be a home run. I get that, but the people counting on me don't. So how do you handle this?
I say that's a great fucking problem. Most people can't put the expectation of winning on themselves. They have to have it put on them internally. When you're lucky enough to be in a situation where everybody expects you to fucking win, that pressure is automatic. By the way, nothing good ever comes without pressure. I would consider yourself pretty fortunate to have that because the worst thing that could happen were for you to be going through your life and be surrounded by people that just expect you to lose. There's no pressure. There's no expectation. Ideally, you should have that expectation on yourself. But sometimes it takes external pressure to start embodying that full-time. Because, dude, like we just talked about an hour ago. It's heavy as the fucking head, right? When you're that dude, guess what? It comes with That dude shit.
You know what I mean? Everyone wants to sit in that chair. Everybody wants to sit in that seat until it's time to sit in that seat, until it's time to make those decisions. Listen, pressure is a privilege, folks. Stop. Don't run from it. You don't run from pressure. You You run towards it. Pressure defines who you are and who you're not, but also defines who you can become. You sit here and you watch what separates the top business people, the CEOs of the companies, the pressure when they have to make those decisions that affect tens and thousands of individuals. When you're watching a baseball player, a pitcher, or a batter, or a basketball, or a quarterback, or so forth. Wins and losses comes from individuals that can handle the pressure. That's not only internal, but that's also external. Obviously, those people see something in you, but make sure you're taking the pressure. The individuals that are putting the pressure on you are those individuals that have the right to do that? All right. It's just not people that are looking to bank off of your success. If you want to alleviate some of that pressure is alleviate those individuals.
Alleviate those individuals, then the pressure that's bestowed on you is actually pressure that you want.
Have you ever met anybody? I mean, dude, you've coached literally the greatest achievers in all different areas, sports, business, et cetera. Have you ever met anybody that didn't want that?
Not at the highest level. The pressure? Yeah, not at the highest level. Then you know what? You also look at it's your consistent habits over and over again that people see that allows other individuals to believe in you. You look at Michael in two of the Championship games. He gave the ball to Steve Kerr for that shot. He gave the other one to John Paxon. But it took him years of watching those individuals in games, their practice habits, how they showed up to be able to say, Okay, I trust those individuals to pass them the ball. So you don't always have to be the... A lot of times, your best The best individuals in the organization and team are the ones that can handle the pressure the best. But there are also other individuals during certain circumstances, you got to know who to pass the ball to and let them say, Hey, take that pressure situation. Have everybody come your way, and then make the right play.
I feel like a lot of people get stuck in this idea that they're the only ones that can operate during pressure, which makes the pressure feel even greater than what it is. How does someone go about figuring out who's who in regards to who can also handle that pressure when the time comes?
Well, like I said, you have to be around those individuals. It has a lot to do with the the dynamics of them growing up, who they're hanging out with, what situations they put in. I mean, now, I hate to say this, but society is the way in our system is it's pressure Pressure is not a good thing anymore. It's everything we got to treat everybody the same. We can't make anybody look a certain way. I mean, there's schools now that literally... When I went to school, you had to make a presentation. You got in front the class or you got in front of the whole school and you had to go out there and stand in front of the audience and tell them what you had to say and so forth. Now, because they don't want to create anything different, you can literally take your cell phone and record your presentation now under your own. Yeah.
The safety of a bedroom.
I got a note because of my anxiety. I can't do the presentation. Well, then guess what, bitch? You're going to lose.
Because Then when you're exposed to that situation in real life, and you will be at some point, I don't care how protected you are, you have zero... It's a foreign substance. Your body doesn't even know what it is. You're going to be like, What's going to happen?
Well, dude, and that's why it's so important for you to seek out uncomfortable situations. Every single chance you get. If you struggle with speaking, you should be trying to speak in front of two people, three people, five people, as much as it takes for you to lose that feeling. What happens is over time, your skill set becomes so strong and so competent. Bro, you don't even notice that there's pressure. You don't even feel it. A lot of people think… They look at high achievers and they think, Man, that guy does really good under pressure, except that guy doesn't even feel the pressure. No. It's not even in his mind. There's no Nobody that you watch on TV that is truly great at what they do, whether it be UFC or baseball or basketball or this or that or this, that they don't feel it because they've acclimated to it over and over and over and over. Once you're acclimated to that level of pressure, it seems like it's some supernatural power, but it's very methodical and it's very tactical. It's no different than a cold plunge. You get in a cold plunge the first day, I give a shit who you are, bro.
You're going to freak the fuck out. But if you do it every day for a year, you're going to be around your buddies that have never been in a cold plunge before, and you're going to get right in there, and they're going to be like, Oh, well, that's no big deal. But then when they get in, they freak out. A lot of this is just acclamation, dude. It's just looking for situations. The first thing is you got to be aware of your lack of skill, right? You got to be aware that I need to work on this or I need to work on that. Let me tell you something about speaking because it's a great thing to talk about right now. There is not a better skill than you can have than being able to communicate under pressure. It is like the skill. When I first started public speaking, I was speaking to my team in the front of my retail store, and I had a piece of paper with some notes on it. My hand was looking like this, and there's eight people in the room, and freaking the fuck out. But dude, when you do that, a lot of people will say, Well, how the fuck did you learn how to speak?
Well, I had to do it every single week for 10 years before I ever got on a stage. Then when I got on the stage the first time, I was fucking freaking out. But then I did that a gazillion times. Now it's like, Hey, you want to go speak in front of 10,000 people? I'm like, Now? What do I need to say? Which way do you want me to Sure, I'll go do it. This acclamation of pressure and being in situations that make you uncomfortable is extremely valuable because nobody was willing to do that fucking work, bro. I was terrified to talk to people in public. Terrified. Even though I worked at a retail counter for 10 years, I couldn't go out in public and talk to people. I could talk to them very well when they were in my environment, but I couldn't do it outside of that. I recognized that. You know what I did? I made up a little game. A lot of you guys might recognize it from Live Hard. What I did was I went to the I went to the fucking grocery store and I said, I got to have three meaningful conversations, and then I can go home with strangers.
This wasn't, Hey, nice shoes. It was a conversation. I had to make it and force it into a conversation. Dude, I did that for years. For years, I did that every single day. The skills I gained from that exercise are very, very, very responsible for the outcome that I'm currently living in. You guys have to understand this goes for anything. This doesn't just go for speaking. This goes for, fuck, if you're learning how to run or you're learning how to lift weights or whatever, dude, it's just repetition after repetition after repetition to the point where it just feels natural. Most people, when it comes to pressure, run from the pressure their whole lives. Pressure is a bad thing. Pressure is something to be avoided. Because they have that mind frame, they never acclimate to it the way that you need to to be effective. Do any of your athletes, do they ever talk to you like, Hey, Tim, I'm having trouble with the pressure, man. I mean, they might hit you privately and say, Hey, man, I'm getting a little overwhelmed.
I always tell them when they overwhelmed, I was like, Look outside the game. Look outside the game. What's the external thing that's bringing in? Because when you get overwhelmed, it's usually not by the situation. It's all the external. That's why I said you need to take a look at these outside individuals. This goes back to a lot of pressure stuff has to do with rejection. The one thing that was a great story that you just said about going to the grocery store. How many times did you walk up to somebody When I was a weirdo. Just to reject. Can you imagine going in the grocery store walking, nice shoes. They'll be like, Oh, no. But just being able... That pressure situation, being able to just approach a stranger, don't know who they are. That is more than actually striking up the conversation. Once you get into there, you're like, I'm good.
Yeah, it's a huge, huge deal. You can apply that to anything that you want to get better Yeah.
So don't run from the pressure.
No. Not if you want to win.
If you keep running from the pressure, you're going to be running your whole life, man. Most people do. Yeah. And eventually, you're going to get tired. You're going to get tired. You got to go deal with that pressure, man. Go deal with the internal pressure, the external pressure, whatever it is. Go deal. You will benefit so much for it in all aspects of your life. Here's the thing. If you don't deal with the pressure for your family, it's going to be generation. They're going to watch how you do it. Then the next generation is going to run from it. The next one is going to run from it. Somebody's got to break the cycle.
Absolutely. I love it, man.
I love it, man. Guys, Andy, Tim, we got question number 3. Andy, I've been working hard for years, but my results aren't where I thought they would be at by now.
At what point- Yeah, mine neither.
Everyone's working hard. I hate, man, I hate that. I'm like, seriously, I've been working. Everybody in this building, you got what? How many employees do you got? Yeah. All right. Everyone's working. Working hard does not... People think working hard guarantees you results. Working hard does not guarantee you results. It just doesn't. Are you working working hard on the right things. You maybe think you're working hard. You may feel like you're working hard, but you better look around and see how hard some of the other individuals are working.
At one point, do you stop telling yourself to stay the course and instead admit you might need to change how you think, work, or even who you are?
Well, I think the first thing that Tim said is the absolute truth, okay? Everybody fucking works hard, dude. You're not even in the game if you don't work hard. You You know that this is a pet peeve of mine, too. Oh, no. Like, these motherfuckers that come in, bro, they come in and they're like, I'm a great on the team. I'm a great team member. I show up on time. I work hard. The fuck are you talking about, bro? That is the minimum. You have to do those things. If you don't do those things, you don't even have a shot, okay? You can work hard your entire life and still lose. That's the thing. Working Working hard at the wrong thing, like you just said, guarantees a loss. You have to have the awareness. For this person here, are you making improvement? How many years have you been working? Have you been addressing your weak skill points? Have you been learning lessons? Or are you continuing to just pound your head into that wall hoping that it's going to come down? Because I'm going to tell you, motherfucker, it ain't. The hardest, the most Effective, highest achieving people in the world understand that working hard is just part of it.
They don't even talk about how hard they work.
Dude, they literally don't because it's just the price. But what they do talk about is, could I do this a little better? Could I adjust my swing here? Could I move two steps this way and make it better? Am I doing this drill properly? Am I reading this book? Am I actually Am I good at this or am I making up for it with just grit effort? Because people love to say this shit now, too. They like to say, Well, it's not about working hard. It's about working smart. No, dumb ass. It's about doing both for a very long time. And anybody who says this shit on the internet, like this little fucking, Oh, it's about working smart, not working hard. Those motherfuckers are lazy. And the people who say, It's only about hard work. It doesn't matter. Those people are stupid. So you're either You're crazy, or you're fucking stupid, or you're effective. Effective people work hard, and they learn along the way, and they do that for as long as it takes to achieve the outcome, and that's the way it is. I can't answer your question about whether or not you're on the right path because I don't have enough data to tell if...
There are certain paths that you could choose that are not going to produce the right outcome. They're just not. Are most of them that way? No. But there are some. You're You're not going to be a multibillionaire selling fucking butterfly T-shirts. If your goal is to become a multibillionaire, it's probably not going to happen on that path. You have to be able to align the outcome with the path and then a company that journey with very hard work for a very long time with the ability to improve along the way. But most people want one or the other or something else, and it's just not the way it works, man.
Listen, ask your peers, ask the people around you if you're working hard. Ask them, then see.
What is hard work now?
Hard work is so much simpler now because everything is literally you carry it around with you. You can get your research, you can get your information, you can get your podcast, you get everything in here. When you're working hard, are you working hard on the right things? Do you have the skill set? I get people that have read the books and so forth, and they'd be like, Man, this book, I'm 30 years old. I had a dream of going to the NBA. I only played in elementary school. It ain't happening, dude. What should I do? I was like, Don't do it. Oh, you're being negative. Don't do it.
You just had to doubt me to give me some fuel, right?
Take that same energy and put it into something else. Now, can you How can you possibly do that? That's what it is. It's just this work and this work-We eventually all have to have an honest conversation about what our natural propensity for skill set is.
You had to. You played college basketball. You had to come to a time where Tim had to say to himself, This has a limit for where I'm going to go.
I was a sophomore or I think I was a sophomore or junior in college. I played a junior Junior in high school. Man, that dude kicked my ass. Up and down. I played him one-on-one, man. Up and down the court, up and down the court, up and down the court. I'm like, Yeah, okay. He eventually ended up going pro, had a great career, was a client of mine at some point in his career. But I was just like, You got to be realistic about you. Like you said, what your skillset is, what your skillset is and what you're capable of doing. Here's the one thing now. On TV and on social media and everything that's out there, you get to see how talented individuals really, really are.
The best of anywhere.
You see some of the skill sets of individuals on these America's Got Talent or whatever the show is or whatever it's got here. You look at these individuals, the dancers, the singers, and so forth. And these people, they're just trying to make it. You get to see the artist, if you stop looking at all the bullshit that's on your phone, and you look at some of the artistic talent that people have and how creative they are. And your level of expertise in competition now is exponentially higher because there's so much exposure out there. So what you thought was hard work may not be hard work anymore.
That's right. Also, when we think about the outcomes that we're after, usually people have pretty ambitious outcomes, which is great. But you have to realize for every single person you see on America's Got Talent, there's a thousand more just like them that didn't make it. You got to be honest with yourself, but not in a pessimistic way, in an honest way. There's lots of people, I'm one of them, that did not have natural skills skillset for certain things. I was not naturally good with people. I was not naturally good at speaking. These are skills I developed over repetition, repetition, repetition. But if I had decided that I wanted to play basketball. It doesn't matter how fucking hard I worked. It doesn't matter how many drills I had. It doesn't matter who I hired as my coach. Guess what? It ain't happening. It ain't happening. People hide. Look, Winners are going to win regardless. They're going to figure out a way to fucking win. You have to be very honest with yourself. Are you not winning because you can't win? Or are you not winning because you haven't been doing it long enough? Or are you not winning because you haven't learned the skills not set yet.
But if the winning that you're after requires you to run a 4,2,40 and you're 300 pounds, it ain't happening. You got to be honest about yourself in your assessment of where you're strong, where you're weak, where could you be great. Then you have to develop an outcome that allows you to get there with what would be considered some of your maybe gifts. But they're not... Everybody's... Very few people have a a gift that doesn't have to be nurtured and developed. We get caught up in this language of, Oh, that guy's gifted. That guy's gifted. Yes. But they also put in thousands upon thousands of hours to developing that gift.
It's almost disrespectful to just say, Yeah.
It's very disrespectful.
You're a gifted speaker. What the fuck are you talking about?
We just talked about this on the other show. It's one of my most annoying pet peeves of people. Because there's nothing casual about winning, bro. Nothing, nothing, nothing. People who win are fucking obsessed with winning. When you come in and you think that you can do half their work or learn half their skills, or you're going to find a way around that, you got to realize that's an ego problem with you. You think you're better than you actually are, which is keeping you from getting where you want to go. There's all different kinds of ways to think about this. I think most people are hiding in their assessments of themselves. What I mean by that is this. This person here says, Oh, I've been working for years, and I'm not there.
You notice He didn't say how many years.
No, he didn't. Was that one? Is that one and a half years?
He didn't say how many years. Is that 10 years? Yeah.
Okay, New Year. Bro, it took me 10 years to make over $100,000. Ten years. Ten fucking years. Tell yourself the truth. Are you really after that outcome? Are you pouring everything that you could into it? Are you learning every skill along the way? If you still have been doing it for 10 years, and that's the honest answer, you probably should be doing something else. Something else.
You don't have the talent for whatever you're doing. Right.
But that's super rare unless it's like something like, athletically or musically inclined. I used to have this guitar teacher Dude, he was fucking amazing. Joe knows him. We would play songs that I wanted to learn that he had never... He was a jazz guy. He liked jazz. I'd play him songs that he had never heard, and he'd fucking play him back. I'd play the song one time, he'd play the motherfucker back. I remember I was sitting there one time and I was like, Dude, you are so talented. He fucking stopped right there. Stopped right there and he goes, he was 52 years old at the time. He goes, I've been playing guitar since I was eight years old. He goes, I have tens of thousands of hours sitting here with this instrument. This isn't talent. I worked for this. He was serious, dude. Oh, he was hot. I was like, Fuck, I never said that about anybody ever again. Because I was discounting the work he had put in, and he was upset about it. I never made a mistake ever again.
You see some of the greatest bass players, guitar players in the bands, and the way they be doing, you're mesmerized by it. But they've been doing it for decades. Decades. For decades, and they still practice it as though it's their first day.
That's right.
And they're still trying to get They're still trying to figure out. They know they've never hit perfection. They're constantly chasing perfection, knowing they're never going to catch it. But that's what it is. They're always looking for that perfect song, that perfect string, that perfect everything, and the obsession to constantly get better and get better and get better. But what you said, it's years and years. They've had the talent, they're willing to improve and so forth. Just working hard is not... I could sit here all day and I could dedicate the rest of my life to say, Okay, I'm going to, whatever it is, if I don't have the ability to talent, if I'm not good at it, it doesn't matter.
Or the time.
It doesn't matter. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, dude, you could create a lot more skillset when you're 20, then you can when you're 60. You just have more time. The fact that this person is young, that's a good thing.
A great thing.
But we have to be real about this, dude. This is not... Greatness is not an accident. It really isn't. It's painted as if it is, but it's not. You just don't see the things that go into it, so you assume it's magical. Whenever my buddy, Matthew, the guitar guy, that's magical to me. I was like, How the fuck could anybody do that? I couldn't believe it. But I wasn't there for the 40 something years, 42 years or whatever it was that he played.
What is magic? Magic isn't what you see, it's what you don't see.
Man, there you go.
It's what you don't see. When that person has that magical skill, that magical talent, that magic makes that magical shot, it's all the hours. It's what you don't see. When a magician isn't, everybody... It's what the magician doesn't show you what makes things magical.
I think, too, dude, you could become pretty good. It's shit. If I started today, if I started playing guitar today, I haven't played in a number of years. If I started today, let's just say I never played before, and I played every single day, and I did that for five or six years, I'd go play in a band. I could be in a band, okay? But I'm not going to be the fucking Rolling Stones. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, right. I'm not going to be Jimmy fucking Hendrix, bro. We have to be real about these things. The internet wants to make everything seem like everything can be done. There's actual real constraints to your achievement that if you're not aware of, will keep you from achieving anything. To this person, we don't know how long they've been doing it. We don't know. They say, Oh, I've been working hard. But for example, like an operator standard, we have a power list system. You could plug in the wrong shit every day on your power list and fucking win your days. But that doesn't mean it's going to produce the outcome you're after. You have to have the awareness to know what the critical tasks are that move you towards that goal.
We could get caught up in this idea of working hard without, like Tim said, working hard on the right things. That is a huge difference.
I was going to ask you guys on that note, from your experience, how many people would you say that, Yes, okay, let's check the box. They're working hard, but they're not working hard on the right thing.
It's time to upgrade your aura ring, man. That thing don't fit no more.
No, it's just a little rubber. It's there.
Just check.
Dj is down 100 since he met you. I know that. Yeah.
Tim checks in on me, man. I know.
He almost came down here and beat your ass one time, bro. Yeah, he did.
I wasn't going to beat his ass. I'd bring other people that would help At my age, I dealt with it.
You got pushed by Michael Jordan, man.
I had to pull DJ aside. I said, Hey, bro, let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. There's only a few people that you fucking better fucking text back. He's wonderful.
That's right. No, but let me ask you guys this on the topic of, let's check the box. They're working hard. That's not a question. You're working hard. You're just a little off. You're off target. Maybe not on the right thing. What would you guys say? Is that the majority of people, they're just a little off from target?
Or is it like-Are we assuming that they actually work hard? Actually work at all. Okay, so we're assuming they actually work hard. I actually work hard. You're asking, out of the people who don't achieve what they want to achieve, but they actually work hard, what's the problem?
Are they just a little off? Or for most people, they're probably really far off?
I think most people lack self-awareness. I think most people don't have the ability to coach themselves. I think the greatest people in the world have the ability to coach themselves. I don't think they attach emotions to their performance. When you talk to someone, Okay, I'm a bad loser. I fucking hate losing. For about 20 minutes, After I lose, do not fucking talk to me. But after that 20 minutes, I'm able to sit down and I'm able to say, Okay, why did I lose? What did I do wrong?
You're able to break it down.
Right. What did I do wrong? How could I do it better? What needs to happen next time so I don't get like this again? That's a skill that a lot of people don't have. I've always been able to... I've been very fortunate. I think growing up around my dad really helped me with this because I can remember one I was wrestling, and my dad will tell this story, but I had to wrestle this dude who... This guy never lost a match in high school ever. He played in the NFL. I had to wrestle this dude. I remember We were at wrestling, and I was a heavyweight. We could have guessed that. Yeah, no shit.
You're a man's weight.
Back in my day in wrestling, when you were a heavyweight, you got a lot of forfeits, which means they didn't have a heavyweight. I look around, and you look around the room for the other fat guy, all right? You're like, All right, where's the fat guy?
All right? No fat guy, all good.
We're at this wrestling way in, and I'm looking around, there's no fucking fat guy. But you still have to weigh in, okay? I get on the scale. Dude, I used to get super nervous before wrestling. I didn't get nervous for any sport except wrestling because, dude, there's no fucking hiding. It's you and that other dude, and everybody's He's watching. I remember I get on the scale and I'm all calm and shit. My coach looks at me and he's like, Man, what's gotten into you? I'm like, What do you mean? I'm like, What do you mean? As he's telling me this, there's three of their coaches standing there, and their coach starts taking off their clothes. He's fucking yoked. I'm looking at my coach and I'm like, Why is their coach getting on the scale? It turns out this was their fucking guy. This guy's like 240. I mean, dude, he played fucking tailback in the NFL. You know what the fuck he... He's just one of them guys. He thought he was a coach. I thought he was a fucking coach. I got fucking terrified, bro.
I was like, Fuck.
I went out there, I lost. I did okay, but I lost. I was so fucking pissed off on the way home when I lost. My dad was laughing at me. He's like, First of all, let me tell you something. No Nobody expected you to win. Okay, let's just start right there. Second off, why did you lose? We went through the whole thing. My dad was always very good at breaking down the losses. It wasn't ever We celebrate the wins. Sure. Okay. But way more valuable when I lost. If we had a football game, we would break down. Not in a film way, but he would take all the bad plays. He'd say, What happened there? What happened What happened there? That taught me at a very young age how to do that, to break down and coach myself. The highest achievers, and I would be interested to see if this is common with them.
I already know what you're going to say.
They do it themselves. Then, bro, when I've had problems before and I've called you, I already knew the fucking problem. I called him and I said, Hey, man, this is what's going on. Blah, blah, blah. What do you think? He's like, Yeah, you're fucking right. The highest achievers have an awareness that's not emotional. They might look emotional in the moment. They might get pissed off when they lose. They might fucking break shit. But eventually, they calm down and they're like, All right, here's what happens.
They've had so many conversations with themselves. Like you said, they can stuff. Before I could point something wrong, they would already say, I already know. I already got it.
I think that's a common amongst the highest level winners in anything.
That's why coaches Coaches always say they're the easiest to coach. The common factor, you talk- People think that because what they think when they say that is, that guy's so good, I don't have to coach him.
No. That's not what it is. No.
You know, Tom, so There was a thing I just saw on Tom braided, and I know we're going a little bit off-subject. He just said he could look at a playbook once.
I know it. I know it.
Like an NFL playbook.
He goes, I know everything. He goes, I know.
Yeah, but dude, if you look at Tom braided, and you look at his background and you look where he came from and you look how he was drafted, he wasn't a fucking star anywhere, dude. So what happened to him? He had, This is my fucking outcome. This is where I want to be. What do I have to do to get there? Well, I'm not the fastest. I don't have the best arm. I can play. So I got to be smarter, and I got to learn the game, and I got to be technically perfect. Yes. Dude, The guys who win over and over, they are those guys.
That's working hard on the right things. You see what I'm saying? Listen, I'm not going to be the fastest quarterback. I'm not going to be able to do this. I got a decent arm. I got this. But you know what? The ability for me to process information, recognize situations, lead a team, being able to not only my playbook, but the opponent's playbook, after I see it, there you go.
Bro, and dude, let's be real about this. This is the truth. The most talented people rarely fucking win. It's the guys with some talent. It's the guys with some ability, because here's what happens. These dudes that have this gift that we all call talent, maybe they run a 4'1'40, or maybe they fucking jump 70 inches, whatever the fuck it is. What happens is they end up relying on that. They're not reading the playbook. No, that's right. Bro, there's a very famous story about Jamarcus Russell, about not reading the playbook. Jamarcus Russell, you remember Jamarcus Russell? Oh, yeah. Number one fucking draft pick in NFL. He's supposed to be the greatest quarterback ever because physically, he was. He was fucking 6'5, 280, ran fast, through, no one could touch him. He gets drafted, number one. He goes out on the field, and the Raiders, he got drafted by the Raiders. They're like, This guy's pretty good. He refused to read the playbooks. Okay? They were pretty sure that he wasn't reading the playbook. They fucking gave him a playbook that didn't have any fucking plays in it. Oh, man. They told him to go home and read it.
He came back the next day. He's like, Yeah, I fucking read it. If you don't know about NFL history, Marcus Russell is one of the biggest busts in the history of fucking NFL. No offense if he's listening, but you were. Okay? But he could have not been. If he was slightly less physically gifted, he probably would have realized, I You have to do all of these other things. A lot of the people that you look at and you say, Oh, man, that guy's great. That guy's great at what he does. It's not because they're the most talented. It's because they had a little bit of talent, but they were willing to do all the shit that goes with it. Dude, if we look at Fuck, dude, Michael Jordan is the same way. Is he not?
Talent is a gift. It's not a promise. People think it's a promise. Another story that you want to... Derek Henry. When he got to Alabama with nick Like, Saban, they had all these intricate plays to run and all that, and he was totally lost. Then it was like, he goes... And nick goes up to me and goes, What's the way? He goes, In high school, he goes, They gave me the ball, and they said, Go run to the other end. He goes, That's all. He goes, They gave me the ball. I said, Go run to the other end. Because he was just physically- That stud. Yeah. Just like nobody could stop. Now, he knew at the next level and the coach knew at the next step, that wasn't going to be enough. So He has all the talent, the speed, the power, everything. It's legendary. But he was willing to start working on the things that he needed to work on in order to be this dude. He just wasn't relying on his so-called gifts.
Now look at him. Bro, he's one of my favorite players. You know why? Because he runs and he's physical and he's big and he's faster than everybody, but he's gotten better as his career has gone on. That's a testament to what you're talking about, Tim. It is. Anyway.
Well, dude, I love it, man. This was great, guy.
Yeah. Tim, dude, thank you so much for coming in, man.
Always an honor, guys. Thank you. It's always a pleasure. It's great to sit with you two individuals and just chop it up. Like I said, I always... I come out of... One of the reasons I do this is, honestly, I take away so much from this. I'm just not here just spewing information. I'm gathering information on how I can be better and make other-Fuck, dude. How old are you now? I'm '61.
Look at this guy. Look at him.
I see him.
Bro, that's a high standard man right there, bro.
I'm not ashamed to tell him. When people ask me how old I am, I tell them exactly what I don't hide from my age. I always say, I'm not old, I'm seasoned. I'm seasoned. Aging like fine wine. I'm not afraid to tell. I don't hide. There's the thing. I am more determined now on certain things. Listen, I may not be able to do things as fast as I was, but my determination and the things I still want to accomplish. It starts, if I don't... There's an old Saturday night live clip. I'm trying to think of the comedian's name. Oh, man. But it says- Back in that Black and White days, huh? It's going One way back, how you feel about yourself and how you look matters. It really does, especially as you get older.
Well, you're crushing it, dude.
It really does. It's very important. Do I wake up every single morning, say, Yeah, let me go to the gym? No. I got to talk myself into it. But when I get there, I'm like, I'm not going to waste my time. Obviously, it can turn into a social setting. I set a time. Once I get in, I have to be in here and I got to be out of here. A lot of times, I don't have time for conversation.
The best part about Tim is when you tell him, I worked out for two hours. The fuck you did.
When you work out, you have the gym to yourself, right? Sometimes it's just you two, but other than that, you're in there like, This is my time. I got to finish during this, and I got to get the hell out of there.
Fuck, yeah, man.
Well, thank you very much.
Bro, listen. Listen, man, I hope that sometimes you stop and think about how many people you've actually helped.
Oh, thank you.
Because it's not just the Michael Jordans. It's not just the Bryce Harpers. You're fucking helping real people do real shit. Thank you. I know we don't always see it, but I hear it all the time. All the time from people.
I want to say thank you, too. Part of them, we're going back on the physical thing, the support from First Form, whatever I asked for them, it's in less than 24 hours.
Yeah, but the rest of you motherfuckers got to pay. Listen, nothing comes for free.
All right?
I don't because-Actually, I think you do pay.
I am blessed to get the products that I get, but I don't take it. I don't take that lightly. I give back. I give back.
Tim, you I've been giving him back forever, man.
I'm going to continue. It's the only way I know how. It's the only way I know how.
We appreciate you, brother.
I appreciate you guys, too, man.
Oh, yeah, man. Well, yeah, guys, 82.
That is all I have. All right, guys, we'll see you tonight, 7 o'clock.
That's all you have for the day. You got plenty more, but this is all for the day.
All right, 7: 00 PM tonight, YouTube, X, Twitter, whatever you want to call it. We'll see you there. Don't be a hoe. Show the show. We're from sleepin' on the flow. Now my jury box froze. Fuck see you there. Don't be a hoe. Show the show.
On today's episode, Andy and DJ are joined by Tim Grover. They answer your questions on how to approach success after a big failure, how to manage the pressure of high performance when others expect you to win, and what to do when long-term "hard work" hasn't produced desired results.