Request Podcast

Transcript of 721. Q&AF: Starting Business With Family Members, Taking Time Off In The Early Stage & Loyalty Towards Friends And Family

REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Published over 1 year ago 671 views
Transcription of 721. Q&AF: Starting Business With Family Members, Taking Time Off In The Early Stage & Loyalty Towards Friends And Family from REAL AF with Andy Frisella Podcast
00:00:13

What is up, guys?

00:00:17

It's Andy Friscella, and this is the show for the Realists, Say Goodbye to the Lies, the Fakeness and Delusions of Modern Society. Welcome to Motherfucking Reality. Guys, today we have a little midweek Q&A. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, If you want your questions answered on the show, you could submit them a couple of different ways.

00:00:34

The first way is, guys, email these questions in to askandy@andyforsella.

00:00:39

Com, or go on YouTube on the Q&AF episodes and drop your question in the comments. We'll pick some from there as well. Other times, like tomorrow, we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics of the day up on the screen. We speculate on what's true, on what's not true, and then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve the problems going on in the world. Other times, we have Real Talk. Real Talk is just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. Then we have 75 Hard Verses. 75 Hard Verses where someone who's completed the 75 Hard program comes on and talks about how their life was before, how it is now, and how they use the Live Hard and 75 Hard program to change their life and how you can, too. If you're unfamiliar with the 75 Hard program and the Live Hard program, it is the world's most popular mental toughness program in history. You can get it for free. That's right, for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only. Again, that's 208 on the audio feed only.

00:01:34

We weren't on YouTube when we made that episode, so go to listen to it at episode 208. If you want to know the ins and outs, the in-depth ins and outs, you're that person. That's the person I am. You could buy the book, the book on Mental Toughness. It's on my website, andyfercela. Com. It'll go through the entire Live Hard program, plus 10 chapters on mental toughness, some case studies on some famous people, how they use mental toughness to become the famous people that you recognize. Now, you're going to notice that we don't run ads on the show. I don't like taking money from people who are going to tell me what I can and can't say. So in exchange, I just ask very simply that you help us share the show. We talk about everything we're not supposed to talk about on this show. And that means we get censored, traffic throttled, deplatformed, shadow banned, all the shit. So if you guys want this message to get out, which I think you should, I need you to share the show, all right? So if the message makes you think, makes you laugh. It gives you a new perspective.

00:02:32

It gives you some information that needs to be heard, don't be a fucking hoe. Share the show. That's right. All right. What's up, dude? What's smooth. Huh? Smooth operator. I like that song. That's a good song. That is a good song. Was it '80s?

00:02:46

Yeah. Was it '60s for you? What was it? Yeah.

00:02:56

We got anybody else to read these questions off? Question number one, Andy. Oh, man. That's a good one for me?

00:03:05

Oh, shit. But why does your Fijiwa always look so fucking cold, man? You just bottled it out of the glaciers.

00:03:11

Because that's what they do for me. What the fuck is the fridge on in there, bro? Fiji gets one of their private jets. Yeah, they handle it. They fly one in for me every single day. Got it. White glove service.

00:03:24

Got it. I see you're rocking the Purple drink again.

00:03:25

Yeah, Purple is where it's at, bro.

00:03:26

Listen, guys, if you want to go to jail and commit crimes, right here, I'll make you do it. Bail on your kids and everything.

00:03:39

That's racist. Did you just say, Bail on your kids? Is that what you fucking said? What's wrong with you, man? That's pretty funny. Where did Daddy go? I don't know. He bought that grape smash from Facebook. Dude, stop. All right. Stop.

00:04:05

That's enough.

00:04:06

That's enough.

00:04:10

That's enough. That's enough. Calm down, guys. Relax. All right.

00:04:17

That's pretty funny.

00:04:20

All right. What's going on, man?

00:04:23

Oh, man.

00:04:24

Everything good?

00:04:25

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Stop. Dude, we don't know what happened. He showed up drinking that Purple First Form. That he was gone. Fuck Abracadabra. Oh my God, dude.

00:04:44

Oh, man. All right. That's enough. Yeah.

00:04:48

Get serious. Fuck, man. Put on your fucking game face, man.

00:04:51

We're going to make people better today.

00:04:52

Yeah. After we insult everybody.

00:04:57

Oh, man. All right.

00:04:59

No more fucking around.

00:05:01

That's enough of that.

00:05:02

Time to get serious. Getting better serious.

00:05:06

That was bad. I'm sorry.

00:05:07

No, it wasn't. It was fucking good. That's the funny joke you've told a long time.

00:05:12

All right. Order it. You heard them. You heard them, man.

00:05:19

That was pretty good.

00:05:19

That was pretty fucking good. All right, man. Yeah, man, everything's great. Let's make some people better today.

00:05:28

He rode off on the neighbor's He stole my dad's bike. Oh, my God, dude.

00:05:39

Oh, shit.

00:05:40

Fuck. I'll tell you what, this shit's good, though. I'm just saying. Your bike inventory is going to go way up. I'm just saying.

00:05:48

Might acquire some new things.

00:05:53

Listen, man, no bullshit. This is good. It is fucking good. It's fucking really good. It's fucking good.

00:05:59

Yeah, I'm three-fourths.

00:06:02

The team did a good job with the can, too, bro.

00:06:04

Cans are sick, man. I love the... I mean, it was definitely give a '90s vibe, bro. I love it. The coffee, it's nice. All right. It's nice.

00:06:14

Calm down.

00:06:16

All right. Well, let's do this, man. I got some good ones for you. All right. Guys, Andy, question number one. Hey, Andy. Hey, DJ. Hope all is well. Hey. Long-time listener. First I'm Caller. I'm a 27-year-old guy. I've worked as an equipment mechanic since I was 18. I started at the very bottom at $8.25 per hour. And with your advice, starting at the MFCEO Project, I give 100% every day, no matter what. So my wage has drastically changed since then. I want to start my own business and walk my own path. I've acquired some clients to maintain some of their equipment, and I have a lot of support from friends and family to pursue my dream. I found the path now. Time for the hike. I've been doing it part-time for a year now and built some relationships and some reputation, so my client base is expanding. My dad, he's 52, is in the same trade. He has been a manager at the same company for 25 plus years. I've worked with him for my first six years in the trade, and we have a great relationship. Recently, we discussed starting a business on our own.

00:07:28

My question is, how do you negotiate Create a partnership instead of a boss-employee relationship. How do you give that without offending the man who created and shaped you? Can you give Dust a shoutout? We listen to all the episodes and have daily discussions about them. Keep kicking ass, fellows. Dusty. Dusty. I guess that's his dad.

00:07:47

Dusty, what's up, man?

00:07:48

What's up, Dusty?

00:07:49

Dusty. You want to come to our party? You got any bikes? All right. Look, man, this is very simple, okay? When we grow up, and there's nothing wrong with this, but we look at our parents as their heroes, and we have respect for them, and we listen to them, and we look at them like they're on a different level. As we get older, we start to realize that they're humans just like us. You're a 27-year-old man, you're looking to start a business, and you're looking to start a business with a business partner who happens to be your dad. That's how you need to look at it, okay? You need to look at it as, I'm starting a business What would I want? How would I want the partnership to be framed? Oh, and by the way, that guy is my dad. Not, I'm starting a business with my dad, and I got to do all these things my dad says. You have to step out. You have to think like an adult You have to be non-emotionally attached, and you have to build a partnership that makes sense and be able to have conversations that are outside the realm of a father-son conversation and inside the realm of a business conversation.

00:09:00

And so what we're really asking about is how do we separate personal relationships from business relationships? And guys, this is very simple. It's so simple that people overlook it. When you're at work, It's work. When you're at home, it's home. And that's how it is, man. This advice that goes around on the internet like, Oh, you should never start a business with family or friends. How many of those people have businesses with with their family and friends? It's you guys, again, listening to broke motherfuckers about how not to be broke. If they knew how not to be broke, they wouldn't be fucking broke. Okay? So you shouldn't be listening to people and what they say. There's a lot of dumb shit that goes around on the internet. One of it is never start a business with your family and friends because you don't know how to communicate with your family and friends, and you don't know how to communicate with anybody in a business relationship yet because you haven't done it. But I'm I'm going to tell you, as someone who's built a legit empire with my family and friends, it's actually pretty fucking awesome.

00:10:06

They all win. Yes, sometimes we argue, but we all keep in mind what the point of the project is. And the point of the project is for it to provide for all of our lives as partners. So we make decisions that's good for everybody. And that comes with experience and maturity and just doing it. And I've seen many businesses business is like that. You know how many people I know in business that are business partners with their parents or business partners with their friends or their brother? Like, I am. Like, dude, these things are natural and normal, and the people that say them are usually dumb as fuck. But ultimately, guys, we just got to learn to separate what is the relationship and what is business. Sometimes, yeah, those things are going to get intertwined, and sometimes they're going to get difficult, and sometimes they're going to bleed together. You're going to get an argument of business, and then some personal shit is going to get thrown on top of it. And that's where you have to be mature enough to say, Hey, bro, look, now you're throwing personal shit at me. We're talking about this, and you're throwing this at me.

00:11:11

And the guy has this... You have to be mature enough to say, Hey, that's All right, that's not cool. All right, we'll handle that over here. But right now, let's solve this. And you just have to compartmentalize where the conversation is appropriate. And so when it comes to setting up a business relationship with your dad and not offending him, well, the best way not to offend him is to build an awesome business where you both get fucking paid. You know what I'm saying? So what's going to make the most sense for that? How's that going to work? Because people are much less likely to have problems in business when everybody's doing well. So where the problems come in is when nobody's doing well and everybody's fighting about it. Nobody wants to take responsibility. Nobody wants to admit that they're not doing their part. And people get their hubris and their ego and their pride all involved in these conversations, which prevent any growth or any progression in the business. And so, dude, this is where when we talk about humility, mattering in business, this is what we talk about. Humility is not, Oh, I drive a little car, and I live a little house, and I have a modest life.

00:12:13

That's what the losers want to tell you. But where humility is valuable is when your dad's trying to make a point, and you shut the fuck up and listen to him, and actually think about what he said and then think like, Man, well, from his perspective, this, and from my perspective, this, and then answer him. Instead of trying to win the argument because you think you know better. All right? So this can be done. This is done every day. And the reason you have hesitancy over it is because you and your dad have never done this before. And you've probably heard your whole life that it's a bad idea. And it's not a bad idea, because I'm going to tell you, in business, dude, you're going to be tested. You're going to be tested to the infinity degree when it comes to how hard things are going to be. And I'm going to tell you, when things get hard like that, you're going to want your friends and family there. They're going to fucking stick with you. Not some dickface, half-ass guy that you barely know who's just in it for the money.

00:13:07

I just want to clarify. What you're saying is when you get into a business relationship, having a person relationship with that person doesn't make it harder or easier because you could just as easily have issues with somebody you don't know that's a business partner. Absolutely. Okay, that makes sense.

00:13:24

But I also think that when things get really hard, which they do in business, you want people who are going to stand by you in those positions.

00:13:30

Yeah, you know that person. You know what they're made of. Yeah, bro.

00:13:32

Look, you don't think that fucking me and Chris and Jason and Sal, we're sitting here and shit gets hard and we're like, Fuck. All right, well, we're all in this together, bro. Because if we lose, we all lose.

00:13:44

I mean, Yeah, but you also know them, guys. You know they're going to kill us. You know they'll fucking do the work. That's real, man.

00:13:50

It makes sense.

00:13:50

It makes sense, man. I love it. Well, guys, Andy, that was question number one. Let's keep this train moving. Guys, Andy, question number two. Hi, Andy. I am a 21-year-old aspiring musician, and I need your take on holidays. For the whole of 2024, I've been getting after it: releasing music, going to the gym, doing more, completing 75 I've heard of hard, and it felt great. I feel great. However, I hear many entrepreneurs speak about the imbalance of success, how you must be all in on your goals, and the idea of balance in the layman's term is a lie, which I wholeheartedly believe. I was meant to be going on a holiday this year, but something inside of me doesn't feel right about going on holidays and taking vacations when I'm not rich, successful, and I ain't driving a Bugatti yet. At times, I like to taste success such as staying at a five-star place for one day or checking out some super cars, but going on holiday for one week at a time feels wrong, especially at this stage in my entrepreneurial career. My question is, what is your take on holidays and taking time off in the root of inventory stages of your career?

00:15:01

I canceled my trip because I don't want to do what everyone else is doing. Instead of saving up and going on a holiday for a week, I'd rather invest this money into my skills and business. I want to enjoy the holidays later on in my life when I'm rich like you. But in my early 20s, I want to invest all my time and energy into becoming rich as fuck. And when I am rich, I can go to those destinations. Thoughts on this, man.

00:15:24

There's a lot of thoughts on this, okay? First of all, you got to stop listening to these people who are overly extreme in their application of what it actually takes. Yes, it takes way more than you think it's going to take. Yes, it takes way longer than you think it's going to take. However, for Forgoing your entire life for something that's 10 years down the road, you're not going to miss anything by taking five days off and going on a trip, dude. And I think it's very dangerous.

00:15:58

You're saying this is a marathon? It's a long marathon.

00:16:01

Yes, it's a marathon, but you're sprinting the marathon. It's not a fucking easy straw. It's never this casual pace. You're running as fast as you can. But here's the thing, guys. The point that you said about going and tasting the success and seeing the cars or being around the cars or the houses or the different levels, that shit's important. And I think it's also very important for people to experience different cultures and to go to different places. There's places that I go that when I come back, bro, I'm super energized. New York City is one of my favorite places to go. I can go spend two or three days in New York City and come back, and I'm a fucking animal for six months. Okay? And everybody's different in how they recharge and all these things. But I don't think it's good advice to tell a young person to never travel or never experience anything or never do anything until they have X amount. What's the X amount that is going to give you the access to go do something? Do you have a number? Do you have a place? Because what will happen is you'll keep telling yourself, When I get here, and then when you get there, you'll keep working because you're a fucking hard motherfucker.

00:17:16

And then you'll say, When I get here, I'll do this. But you won't do it because you keep working. And I know a lot of guys who have worked most of their life away, including me, by having an attitude like that. And I look back from where I'm at now, and I'm just going to be I'm honest with you guys, I always keep it real. I look back now and I say, Fuck, dude, I could have went on that trip. I could have went and done that thing. It wouldn't have fucking fucked me up. And so listen to me when I tell you this, because I'm admitting something that I could have done better. I did mostly what you're saying you're going to do. I can't think of a trip that I canceled or didn't go on that would have thrown me off. You see what I'm saying? Now, if you go away for six months or you go on some fucking van tour for the next year, that's going to fuck you up. That's going to cost you. But going somewhere for a week or 10 days with your family and friends, you're going to wish that you had that whenever you do get to the place where your finances are in order, guys.

00:18:14

There's more to life than this. Your parents are going to get old. Your parents are going to get sick. Your friends are going to die. A lot of you guys don't understand. By the time you're in your 40s, half of your friends are going to have shit that happened to them. Not half, but there's going to be people that have died that you wish you would have spent more time with. And I think it's very important for you to get out there, if for no other reason, get out there and experience other things so that you know more about what you want out of your life. Because when you're 20 years old, All you think about is, I want to make money because I don't have any money. And you don't really know what you want to do with the money because you never did anything. So I think it's important for you guys to get out there and do a couple of things. But I think it's also an equally and even more important to make sure that it doesn't throw you down the hole of leisure and pleasure and comfort and convenience that ends up costing your whole life.

00:19:08

So from my perspective, I don't agree with a lot of what these guys say. I am built around the idea of effectiveness, not busyness. I don't think it's about necessarily how much time you put in. In the early days, it is because you lack skill. But as you gain skill and you gain experience, the less time you actually have to put in to get the same result. And the people who end up getting the best results are the people who have the high skill and put in the time. But dude, why do we do all this shit? Why do we do this? We do this so that we can have a better life. And I wouldn't foregrow experiencing little experiences on your life along the way, thinking that it's going to fuck you up, because I don't think that it will. And I've not seen anybody that it does. The only people that it does are the people that take three years off or six months off. And then they come back and they're like, They try to act like they're fundamentally enlightened and they try to say shit like, oh, my priorities have changed, and I don't really want to do this anymore, and blah, blah, blah.

00:20:10

And what's happening is they're hung over from their fucking trip, and they can't get back in the groove. And then three or four years later, they're like, Fuck, I need to get my shit back together, right? And I've seen that happen a hundred times. Rather than trying to play catch up. Yeah, and you don't want to be that guy. But going on a trip for fucking four days, bro, listen, you're competing against people who only work two days a week. It's not going to hurt you. Most people, they drink Thursday, they party Friday, Saturday, Sunday, they're hungover Monday, they get Tuesday and Wednesday in before they start the cycle again. Where you're at, dude, I think you have a great attitude, and I think your mentality is correct that you need to fucking hustle and put in the time and use your 20s to do as much progress as you can. But I don't think you canceling a trip, unless you're going on a vacation every other week, is going to affect your progress.

00:21:04

Have you seen that as a common thing with just young people in general, just feeling the need of they have to give themselves permission? This idea of rewarding your sofa some reason.

00:21:15

It's a hard concept. I think that comes from two things. One, the culture on the internet is not accurate. You have a lot of people on the internet who haven't actually built the things that you want to build, telling you how to build the shit that you want to build. You have a lot of people parroting successful people's words. Like, dude, half the shit... Fuck, more than half the shit that's said on the internet is shit that I've said over the last fucking 10 years. Okay, go back and listen to the MSC CEO project, if you don't believe me. The MF CEO project gave birth to more fucking business influencers than any fucking podcast ever. The problem is a lot of those motherfuckers aren't doing it. They figured out they can lie and sound good and sound like they know what they're doing, and you could give them their money. Don't give those motherfuckers your money unless you could see their business, see what they've built, talk to their customers, use their product. They haven't built a real business. Don't fucking buy anything from them. All right? But I think there's a toxic mentality around hustle culture, meaning you have to work 40 hours out of 24 every single day.

00:22:23

And then I also think the ignorance of not being down the path, right? I don't mean ignorance in an insulting way. I just mean, how can you have the perspective of what it's really like if you've never done it? The only way for you to have a perspective is to listen to someone who's done it and then hope that you can grasp it. So I have done it, and I'm here to tell you, there's a number of trips that I've canceled over the years that I really wish I hadn't done that to. And I don't want that to be you because I think you'll make it either way if you have the mentality of, I need to have developed skill, I need to put in more effort than anybody. And if you do those two things and you don't quit, everybody else is going to quit at some point. So you get where you want to go. I personally, that's where I'm at. I don't think you're going to hurt yourself.

00:23:09

I think it's also two completely different from like, there's some people like, Oh, I need that mental health day, or I got to take this mental health vacation.For sure.That's a whole different thing.For sure.

00:23:19

That's probably the third point that fucks people up. We've got a pussy culture who thinks that if they work for fucking two months, they got to have a mental health week. Bro, mental health week, that's like a new thing. Mental health day, that's a new thing in the last three or four years. It's fucking pussy shit. It's for people that don't want to fucking get their shit together and want an excuse just to fuck off. We should just call it fuck off day. I would be more... No, I'm being real. That's more-I would be okay with that. If somebody came up to me and said, Hey, bro, I need a fuck off day, I'm like, I get what you're saying. But this pretending like you need this mental health thing so you can get a day off of work, that's fucking weak-ass shit. Just tell the truth. Hey, I need your day to fuck off. You know what I'm saying? That's a real shit.

00:24:13

Yeah. Makes sense. Guys, Andy, question number three. Andy, I'm 20 years old and growing up fast. I've had the same group of best friends that have been there for me whenever I truly need help and still will be here and be there to this day. The problem I'm facing with them is that they lack the maturity majority of the time nowadays and still act like they are in high school when we've been out for three years now. We have awesome times for the most part, but I'm tired of dealing with the drama they create and the unnecessary bullshit I'm surrounded in when I try my hardest to avoid it. There are two things I hit in life: drama, beef with other people, and immaturity when maturity is required. I would take a bullet for these two guys, but I don't know if it's good for me to stay so close to them or to move on and expand to newer and better people that are out there, out of this phase of thinking. I'd appreciate your real spill on the subject.

00:25:12

Well, first of all, I wouldn't take a bullet for those motherfuckers. You think those people are your friends because you spent time with them. Listen, this is where a lot of people fuck up their lives. They meet some people in high school or they meet some people in college, and they think because they're in proximity or they spend time with them, that they're actually a friend that they're obligated to. Friendship is a two-way street. They contribute to you, you contribute to them. They contribute to you, you contribute to them. They are reliable for you, you are reliable for with them. It is not, I grew up with this person. It is not, I am related to this person. It is not, I went to high school with this person. It is not, I went to college with this person. It is not, I dated this person for three years. The contractual understanding of a relationship or a friendship can change at any time. When it changes, and when it should change, is when it no longer serves you and it doesn't make sense for you to remain there, and it's halting your personal growth. When I say you shouldn't take a bullet for them, what I mean is that you lack the perspective to understand what friendship is truly about because you're still a young person.

00:26:28

Every single young person, including me, including DJ, including all these guys, we all went through this. We all thought that the girl we dated in high school or the friends we had in high school were the end all, be all of our life at the time of 20 years old. We didn't do things because we didn't know if it would disrupt that ecosystem or if they would hate on it, or if they would disapprove. And that holds more people back than anything. And so what I would say to you, number one, is that it's really mature of you and good that you're realizing this at 20 years old, because most people never realize this. They will grow up their entire lives being loyal to people in a way that they should not be loyal to. What I mean by that is they're giving up their hopes, their dreams, their plans, their vision for themselves to appease people that they grew up with or that they would take a bullet for or that they are my brother. Those people really aren't. Here's the problem with that. If you never progress from that friend group and you have dreams that are outside the dreams of that group and these people won't understand, you're never going to be fulfilled.

00:27:44

You're never going to be happy. You're always going to be bitter, and you're always going to be asking yourself, what if? So we have to understand that where you're at is a normal thing. But the next move, if you want to change your life, if you want to progress, if you want to become the person that it is you're trying to become, is to continue down that path without worry, without care, without concern of what those people are going to say or think about it. Most people will give up their entire lives, everything that they've ever wanted, because of the opinions of people that they basically ended up hanging around, and it'll ruin their lives. And this goes to relationships, too. A lot of dudes, and I'm going to speak to the dudes here, this is a big deal. A lot of you dudes lack game at all. I'm just going to be real. I'm going to keep it real, real, real. You have zero fucking shit going for you. You don't have any money. You don't have any game. You don't know how to talk to girls. You don't know how to make them laugh.

00:28:44

You fucking basically are in a position right now at 20 years old where you're going to take any P that you can get. Tell me I'm wrong. You're going to be trying to stick your shit in fucking every hole that you can find, and you don't give a shit if that person has their shit together. And this is how dudes fuck up their lives. They're so desperate. They don't have anything going for them. They don't have any game. They don't know how to talk to women. And then they take the first girl that will fuck them from the bar, and they stay in a relationship with that girl for three or four years. And that girl nags them, and that girl holds them back, and that girl says, Why don't you spend more time with me? And then when you spend more time with her, then she says, Why are you always broke? And these people will fuck up your lives. So you have to understand, and this is just a fundamental reality, whether it comes to friendship, whether it comes to relationships, the relationship is allowed to evolve and change based upon your desires and what you want for your life.

00:29:44

And you should not not stay, quote, unquote, loyal to people because you knew them at one point in your life. And that includes girls, that includes boyfriends, that includes friends. When you decide you want more and they don't want to come with you, then it's time to exit that relationship and continue moving on. Because at the end of the day, when you're 70, 80, 90 years old, all you're going to have to show for your life is what you actually did. And here's the best part about it, especially for young men, young women, too, but more so for men, is that the more you progress, the more you get your life together, the more of a winner you become, the greater the options open up for you to meet someone who's not nagging you, who's not busting your balls, who isn't looking at every other dude on the internet because you don't have any money or any fucking means. Because that's the reality, They tell us this story about, Oh, all that matters is what's on the inside. That's total bullshit. That's not real advice. That's romantic advice that older women give their sons because that's what they wanted, the The truth of the matter is the world's very harsh, and the truth of the matter for men is the world rewards you for what you produce and who you are and what you become.

00:30:53

And yes, you're going to meet people that will love you for you, but you're going to meet a lot more people that are a lot cooler when you have a lot of shit going for you and you've actually expanded upon or materialized some of that potential that you have. And so we have to be very honest about relationships here. Most people give up their entire hopes, dreams, careers, lifestyle, everything they want because they met some girl at a bar, or they met some dudes in high school or college. Tell me how that makes sense. Let's have a realist viewpoint on relationships. If If a relationship doesn't serve you, if it doesn't contribute to you, if it's not something that helps push you down the path, then it doesn't belong in your life. And that goes for marriages, that goes for boyfriends, that goes for girlfriends, and that goes for friends. People change, things change, situations change. And sometimes it's time to say, Hey, I appreciate you. You're still my friend. We dated. I still appreciate you. You're a good person. But I'm going to go my way because this is what I want for my life, and we just want different things.

00:32:00

Tony Robbins has a really good way of describing this. When I heard this, it really changed my mind about relationships. And he said that when you decide that it's time to move on from your relationship, you have to understand that it's not a personal thing. You don't have to be mad at the person.

00:32:17

I think that's people's biggest issue.

00:32:19

Yeah, bro. Listen. I don't know how to handle that. Yes, dude. Listen, this made it click for me, and I got this from Tony Robbins. He said, Look, everybody has a different nature. Everybody has a different plan for themselves. Themselves. And just because their nature is different than your nature or their plans for themselves are different than your plans, does not mean you have to be mad at them. It doesn't mean there has to be contention. It doesn't mean you have to hate them. You can very amicably just say, Hey, look, you want different things than I want, and that's okay. In fact, I'll help you get those things, but I got to go do these things, all right? And that's how you move on from those situations. And the best part about this, guys, is that as you move on, as you progress, you meet friends that make you better. You get a partner that makes you better. You're no longer getting nagged or made fun of or told that your dreams are stupid. Instead, you're surrounded by people who say, Fuck, dude, this is awesome. I think we should do this and this and this.

00:33:11

Let's do this. Here, I'll do this together. And that's Dude, my friends that I talk to, there's not a conversation that I have that's not about how we're going to win more together. You know what I mean? Think about that. I want you all to think about the conversations you have, how much drama you have, how much gossip you deal with. I don't deal with any of that. I've removed that from my existence 100 %. And you know this because you're around me enough. If someone starts drama around me more than once, or someone's a gossiper around me, I cut them the fuck out, bro. Quickly. Yeah. If I find someone in my company that's drama and gossip, guess what? I get them the fuck out. Okay? I don't deal with that shit. I don't like that shit. I appreciate people that will look you in the eye and say, Hey, I don't like this. Let's Let's do something about this. That's adult shit. And you guys have to go from being a young person thinker to a mature thinker. And if you want to be successful in business, you're going to have to be able to evaluate and adjust and make decisions objectively about the current situation.

00:34:18

If you're always attached to all these things emotionally, and you always have this like, Oh, well, I don't want to do this because Steve's going to be mad at me if I do this. I'm not really being his boy, and this, and that, and this. Dude, if you make decisions like that in business, you'll lose. You have to make factual, realist decisions about the way things are, not about the way things you wish they were. All right? And you see people like this in the influencer space. You see people talking about, Oh, fuck that guy. He ain't a real one because he didn't stand by me when I was doing... Well, you were doing bad shit. You were doing bad shit, so you're fucking right. You see what I'm saying? You don't owe people to stand next to them when they're doing fucked up shit. In fact, I get the fuck away from those people. That's a smart move. But the point here, guys, is this. Stop being loyal to relationships that you shouldn't be loyal to. Stop bending your dreams, your goals, your wants, your needs in life for people's approval or disapproval that honestly doesn't matter.

00:35:19

It's your life. You have to build your life. You have to live your life. You have to be proud of your life at the end of it. And that's only going to happen if you are understanding that a lot of these people that come and go in your life are just they're visitors. They're people who come. It's like a neighbor that lives in your house. You're going to live in your house for 100 years. Every three or four years, new neighbors move in, and then they move out. Then every three or four Three or four years, they move in again. That's how life goes. Eventually, you're going to meet that one neighbor or those two neighbors that you're like, Fuck, those are really good people. I'm going to stay in touch with them. They're going to come to my house for the pool party. They're going to come over for the barbecue. I'm going to do Christmas with them. I'm going to go on vacation with Those people, those people become your lifelong friends. But you only have so many slots for that, bro. And not all your high school friends are going to be in there because they have different natures.

00:36:09

Not all your ex-girlfriends or current boyfriends or fucking husbands and wives are going to be in there because Because, dude, that's a whole other topic, this topic of unconditional love. Unconditional love is for your fucking animals. It's not for people. People will say, Well, it's for your kids, too. You don't understand. Really? If your kid went and fucking shot up a school, you're still going You're still going to fucking unconditionally love them? If your kid's out there being one of these weirdos, molesting all these kids and shit, you're still going to fucking unconditionally love them? If you do, you're fucked up. All right? So let's remove that, too. Love has conditions. It does. 100%. Friendship has conditions. Love has conditions. Marriage has conditions. Business relationships have conditions. You know what it's called? It's called real fucking life. All right? And so let's stop living in the fantasy world where our high school buddies are going to be our buddies our whole life. Yeah, They can be, and you could be cool with them. I still see my high school boys, bro. We fucking drink beers together, shit. But I don't hang with them every day.

00:37:08

I don't call them and ask them what decisions I got to make. I don't weigh my life by them. I drink a beer with them when I see them at the fucking place. You know what I'm saying? It's okay. It's part of life, man. And we have to get good, and we have to get comfortable with understanding that life is a progression and a journey, and you're going to meet people along the way. If you're ambitious, the further you go, then they're going to actually accelerate your life.

00:37:34

It's almost like it's safe to say you haven't even met your best friends yet.

00:37:37

No, you fucking haven't. But, dude, you have to understand, you only have, just like a baseball team, bro, you only have so many slots on the roster.

00:37:45

So many starting spots, basically. Yeah.

00:37:46

Dude, you only have, what, four or five slots on your roster, and that includes your relationship. You see what I'm saying? Those slots should be filled with the best fucking people, not people that you happen to Their parents happen to enroll them in school the same year that you got enrolled, and you come from the- That's just changing that clock. Yes. But people will fucking say, I fucking grew up with those people. I'll take a bullet for them. No. No, that's the mentality that fucks your whole life up.

00:38:19

A 20-year-old didn't get in that relationship. Fuck no.

00:38:21

Dude, look, man. And do I have friends that are friends of mine just because they're friends of mine? They've been friends of mine? Yeah, absolutely. But like I said, bro, I'm I'm not weighing my life decisions based upon their approval or not. I don't care. All right, you don't like what the fuck I'm doing? Well, fuck off.

00:38:38

I love it, man.

00:38:41

I think this is an important question for people Because people struggle with this. It's not just young people, it's old people, too. People who are 40 years old. How many people right now are listening that are 40 years old that are thinking, they're like, Fuck. I've dealt with this motherfucker my whole life. I've had this fucking bitch my whole life. She's been in my ear for the last 15 years. I've wanted to do this, and all she does is fucking bitching me. How many of you dudes can relate to the thing I'm saying where your significant other says, Why don't you have any time for me? You're always fucking working. And then when you go hang out with them, they're like, Why don't you have any fucking money? Bro, fuck them, bitches. Tell them to get a fucking job. Listen, I'm going to be real, dude. There's a lot of toxic bitches out there.

00:39:28

There's a lot.

00:39:29

They're It is what it is.

00:39:33

It was also a lot of guys who just have to settle, too, though.

00:39:35

Bro, that's because you ain't got no game. You got nothing going for you.

00:39:39

You'll get there, man.

00:39:40

No, they won't. A lot of them won't. A lot of them will still continue with that mentality that they're starving in the desert, bro, and they're wondering through the fucking Sahara, and then there's some titties, and they're like, You know what I'm saying? That's what dudes do. And they take what they can get. They marry some chick that they met by chance, not by design. And then they're miserable, and they can't figure out why it didn't work. Well, it didn't work because the contents of how you met them was you liked their titties. You see what I'm saying? You should be looking at what is their character? What are they like? Where do they come from? Are they smart? Are they funny? Where are their goals? Yeah. And by the way, you get a lot more to choose from when your shit's in line, when you're in shape, your finances are in order, you're intelligent. You've got good quality friends, not these fucking douchebags from 20 years ago or five years ago or high school or whatever the fuck. Bro, you want to put yourself in the position of most leverage. And the way that you put yourself in the position of most leverage is by becoming the best possible version of yourself as quickly as fucking possible.

00:40:45

I love it, man. Love it. Guys, Andy. That was three.

00:40:49

Yup. See you tomorrow. It's a CTI. Yeah. Bye.

00:40:56

We're from sleepin' on the floor. Now my jury you tomorrow with some CTI. Yeah. Bye.

AI Transcription provided by HappyScribe
Episode description

In today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to navigate the decision of starting a business with friends and family, how to decide if it’s a good idea to take some time off during the early stages of your business, and what’s the best way to judge loyalty towards friends and family when they haven’t been loyal or trustworthy.